Chapter Text
“Where did you get that, Scott?” Stiles looked shocked at the bloody wrench in his hand. Seeing all their faces in the room judging her. Lydia, Malia, Kira, Liam, Theo, Jordan, Brett and Mason were all standing around silently judging her from their spots.
“This is yours?” Scott asked while allowing Stiles to grab it from him, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was going to.” She replied looking at the bloody wrench, the one that killed Donovan, the one that she remembered dropping onto his head.
“Why didn’t you tell me when it happened? Or any of us?” A hint of desperation coming out from Scott’s voice, which she could clearly tell that it was Scott’s telltale sign that he really wants to believe otherwise.
Stiles shrugged and looked at her best friend, “I couldn’t.”
“You killed him? You killed Donovan?” Scott demanded.
“He was going to kill my dad. Was I supposed to let him?”
“You weren’t supposed to do this. None of us are” Scott pointed out to the rest of them.
Stiles looked dumbfounded at Scott’s answer, “You think I had a choice?”
“There’s always a choice, Stiles.”
“Yeah, well I can’t do what you can Scott.” Stiles raised her voice in frustration, “I know you wouldn’t have done it. You probably would have just figured something out right?”
“I try. We were all supposed to try.”
“Yeah because you’re Scott McCall! You’re the True Alpha! Guess what, all of us can’t be True Alphas. Some of us have to make mistakes. Some of us have to get our hands a little bloody sometimes. Some of us are human!” She screamed back at him while the rest looked on uncomfortably watching the 2 best friends fighting.
“So you killed him?”
“Scott, he was going to kill my dad.”
“The way that it happened, there’s a point where, it’s just, it’s not self-defense anymore.”
From feeling angry, Stiles felt confused and further frustrated by Scott’s statement, “What are you even talking about? I didn’t have a choice Scott! It was either my dad & my lives or his life!”
“Stiles, we can’t kill people that we’re trying to save.” Scott stated using his Alpha tone, “We can’t & we don’t kill people, Stiles. Period.”
“IT WAS EITHER MY LIFE OR HIS LIFE!!!” Stiles screamed at the top of her lungs.
“You’re no longer part of the pack, Stiles.”
She could not believe what she had heard. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest and she felt as if someone had stabbed her through with a knife. She felt as if everything around her stops for a few seconds while the words were repeatedly playing in her head.
“What?” The word slips from between her lips quicker than her brain could process; full of a sickening amount of disbelief, because there’s no way in hell she heard what she thought that she had just heard. No way Scott, her best friends since they were 4-years-old, of all people, would even think about doing this to her after all that they had been through together.
But the words had been said and now hung between them, and the rest of the pack were surprisingly dead silent, not even an objection among them. She took one step back, then another, and heard Liam whined from across the room, sensing Stiles’ entire world crumbling apart in front of the pack.
Stiles straightened her shoulders back and took a deep breath. There was no way in hell she was going to give the pack the satisfaction of seeing her break down in front of all of them. She couldn’t believe that Scott couldn’t understand what she went through and was hell bent on being the moral compass of the pack regardless of the situation.
Stiles glanced around the room at the people she had considered friends, if not family. They all avoided her gaze; even Scott refused to look her in the eye. Stiles shook her head ruefully; the ever present smirk sharper than usual on her face. Wearing a mask was a million times easier than showing other people your pain. And Stiles had the best poker face among all of them.
“Wow, Scott, just wow.” Stiles said, her calm voice in contrast with the way her upper lip curled in disgust. “13 years of friendship just like that.”
Any other day, any other time when her head wasn’t pounding, and she had a bit of space to actually stop and think for just a moment, Stiles would have argued. But that’s what they expected her to do, and Stiles was done with the pack’s expectations of her. She nodded her head once, “Fine.”
She could hear the pained whimpers from the pack echoing in the room. At least she wasn’t the only one hurting down here then.
“Fine?” Scott repeated, and Stiles shrugged.
“Sure, whatever. No longer in the pack, got it. That means no freebies, dude. No more crawling into my room at all hours of the night because you got yourselves another murderous creature. If I’m out, I’m out. You deal with the shit yourself.” Stiles stared straight into Scott’s eyes; “None of you are welcome in my house anymore.”
Theo growled softly while the rest of the pack whines.
“Come near my house and I’ll trap each and everyone of you in a circle of mountain ash and you won’t even see it coming.”
More whines echo softly throughout your room.
“Don’t bother stepping anywhere in my backyard as well. I’ll be growing wolfsbane and mistletoe there. Lots of them.”
The Alpha best friend seemed shocked with how easy she had given up and was resorting to threats, now.
“And also, get your own research materials. All those books and materials are all mine. You’ve got Lydia; she’s the genius in the group. That should be enough!” Stiles spat.
The pain in her chest grew to new levels, and she viciously hoped it was as sore, if not more, for everyone else. It was because no one, not even Lydia, Kira or Malia said anything to stop Scott from kicking her out of the pack.
The message came through loud and clear.
Stiles simply nodded and set her jaw. She would walk out of here with her head held high. She wouldn’t cry, or show any signs of weakness because Stiles had spent enough time around wolves to know it was never a good idea to show vulnerability. It would always found a way to come back and bite her in the ass. The room was thick with the tension of the emotional werewolves, and Stiles took a few seconds to look around and commit them all to memory. She was sure as fuck not going to pine after them all, especially Scott.
Stiles smiled at every single one of them. She smiled at Brett, Liam and Mason and recalled how they had each matured and grown up in their own ways since becoming werewolves and part of the pack.
Smiled at Theo, who was still the world’s biggest douche, but had become someone Stiles could actually talk to.
Smiled at Lydia, who turned out to be her other best friend. Someone who was able to understand Stiles on an intellectual level and had stayed up with her at all hours of the night to research and plan. Smiled at Jordan, who over the past few months have been in a relationship with Lydia and became protective towards the pack members.
Smiled at Malia, remembering how she helped her to become closer to the rest of the pack members.
Smiled at Kira, the fox spirit that had grown leaps and bounds ever since cementing her place within the pack. Learning to understand her powers and her fighting skills to help them face any adversaries along the way.
And lastly smiled at Scott, who despite everything was really the only reason Stiles had stayed sane this long, which she had shared so many giddy, painful, angry and emotional memories with. Who she had given away under torture and then saved, who she had planned against and planned with, fought and argued with, who she had finally, thought she was getting somewhere with him in accepting the fact that he will always be a werewolf. Someone she had love as a brother and a best friend. And who stood in front of her as he broke her heart into a million pieces.
Stiles knew she had to go now before she burst into tears, couldn’t bear the idea of showing them anymore weakness than she already had, consciously or not. They weren’t pack, her brain insisted, but her instincts were telling her otherwise and it was crazy and insane and she couldn’t deal with this right now. Eyes fluttered briefly shut, before snapping open with resolve. If that’s how they wanted to play it, she can do it way better than them. Turning her back to the pack in the utmost disrespect, Stiles sashayed her way out of Lydia’s house like she hadn’t a care in the world.
Stiles fumbled on Roscoe’s keys before unlocking the door and escaping into the cabin. But she still didn’t break down, not when she knows that they can still hear her. Numb fingers turned the key in the ignition; sightless eyes guided her baby down the familiar road.
The drive back to the house went by quickly, and the next thing Stiles knew she was pushing the front door open. She couldn’t remember the drive back, couldn’t remember how she had managed to make her way home at all, but the evidence was undeniable. She closed the door behind her and the tears started falling, she was down on the floor sobbing uncontrollably.
It hurts so bad, like knives being stabbed into her heart over and over. Stiles spent a long time crying. She cried for the pack, herself, Beacon Hills, her dad, and her mom. She cried at the thought that after all the craziness that she has experienced in the past 2 years; it was her best friend that hurt her the most. It wasn’t the Alpha werewolves, it wasn’t the Berserkers, it wasn’t the psychopathic hunters, it wasn’t the Nogitsune but it was Scott, innocent goofy best friend, Scott that hurt her the most. She cried because it hurt, and it would hurt even more tomorrow, and the future now seemed empty with only the promise of this almost hollow pain.
Tears slipped down her cheeks, and her dry, heaving sobs could be heard clearly in the hallway. And then, when all the tears that could fall from her eyes had, and all the sobs that could be wracked from her body passed, she sat up, wiped her cheeks, and calmly stood up. She was never going to cry for them again, she thought vehemently, and if she was surprised by the acidity of her own mental voice then she didn’t let herself think of it.
Stiles looked up and was so thankful that her dad wasn’t home and she let out a breath of relief. She didn’t think that she could deal with her father prodding and asking right now, without breaking down further and she sworn to herself she won’t break down because of them anymore. She immediately went straight to bed without bothering to change out of her clothes and fell asleep the moment she lay on the pillow.
---
The next morning, the realization that the day before had, in fact, actually happened and wasn’t just some nightmare that she had dreamt. At the same time, she was thankful that today was a Saturday and she wouldn’t have to see any of their faces at all. Stiles groaned as she pulled herself off the bed and tied her long brunette hair into a ponytail. The pillow that she had slept on was damp from her tears. She quickly walked over to her bathroom, washed her face and brushed her teeth before going downstairs to prepare breakfast for her dad. She will make it through the day. She was going to fake it in front of her dad. She walked down to the kitchen, began making the batter for the pancakes and had the coffee running. Within minutes later, her dad came down and kissed her on the cheek before pouring himself a mug of coffee.
“Morning kiddo!”
“Morning dad,” Stiles smiled widely and served her dad pancakes with a variety of fruits.
“You looked like you had a peaceful sleep last night. You look fresh and pretty today.”
“Thanks dad! I guess I did.” Stiles smiled back, realizing that she truly did have a peaceful sleep last night with no dreams or nightmares at all. “Anyway, I kind of have been meaning to discuss something with you.” Stiles took a deep breath and sat herself down beside her father. She could felt that the fake smile on her face was beginning to crack.
Her father put the fork down, “What’s wrong?”
Stiles looked down on her food and started playing with it, poking holes into her pancakes, “Erm, I’m not sure how to go about saying it, honestly.”
“Stiles, I’m your dad. You’re my daughter. I’m sure we can talk things out, if you have any problem, I am more than happy to help you out.”
“I want to complete the rest of my senior year in New York with Uncle Phil, if you’re okay with it.”
“Do you mind if I ask why?”
Stiles immediately broke down; the Sheriff came over and hugged her tightly while hushing her. “Do you need me to arrest Scott? Anyone else that you need me to arrest as well?”
Stiles snorted at the thought of seeing all of her ex-pack members getting thrown into the cell.
“Shit happens, Dad.”
“Language, young lady.”
Stiles took a deep breath while her dad stepped away from her to allow herself to explain. In her head, Stiles honestly felt that she should tell her dad everything. About Scott being bitten, about werewolves, about the Alpha pack, about her being tortured and about everything else there is to know about the pack. Instead the words that came pouring out of her mouth was a simplified version of what she thinks is a normal teenage problem.
“You know how I have been hanging out with a new group of friends, well turns out that I’m not their friend at all. They only tolerated me because of Scott and now that Scott is always with Kira doing everything together. Pretty much, I don’t exist to them.”
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” Her dad hugged her even tighter and kissed her head, “I’ll called Uncle Phil, I’m sure he will be more than happy to take you in.”
“Thanks dad. I love you.”
With that, both of them finished their breakfast in silent. Soon after her dad went off to work, she immediately went up to start packing. She knows that without a doubt Uncle Phil would take her in even though the last time Stiles had seen him in person was more than 5 years ago when her mom passed away. They still do Skype every few months just to update each other and do the few occasional online gaming sessions.
By the next day on Sunday afternoon, everything was settled. She was going to New York to finish her high school diploma.