Chapter Text
“You think Scott will be there?”
It was late to ask certain questions now when they have less than half an hour until they arrive to the school. Lee might have warmed up to him, but he understood her desire to keep certain things private. “I have not seen him in quite a long time, and Charles didn’t have the time to tell me much of anything; the only thing I know is that we’ll find him and some of the x-men at the school.”
“Can we not…” she trailed off. He learned to give her the space she needs to express herself the hard way. “What I mean is I don’t want to have certain conversations with Scott, or his friends, and I’d be grateful if you didn’t tell them about us.”
“You don’t have anything to worry about. I am not much for public displays of affection; I am not much for disclosing anything about my personal life either, so it will be up to you what your friends should and should not know.” There was one other reason he will have to restrain himself with Lee, but he will cross that bridge when he’ll get to it.
“Thank you. I didn’t want you to think that I’m ashamed of you,” he didn’t think that. “It’s just that you have a certain history with them, and I don’t want to end up in the crossfire.” Neither he nor, he was sure of this, the x-men wanted that either.
“I know you consider them friends and I will not ask you to chose between me or them no matter what.” And if she did have to make a choice, he’d rather she chose them.
“Wish they felt the same way.”
“You’re selling them short if you think they will consider you tainted just for associating with me.”
“’Tainted’. What a word!” she rolled her eyes, but that wide smile didn’t leave her lips. “How medieval.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” He was almost certain he was being teased.
“What else could I be tainted by? How many people can I sleep with before I’m too tainted for you? Or do you care more about good breeding and manners? Because I must warn you, I don’t know which forks I should use for what and my father’s manor is completely destitute.” She giggle, having fun at his expenses. He really did like being the reason for that smile.
“You made your point. I will watch my mouth from now on,” he said and slightly raised his head. And without any hesitation she leaned in to kiss him. It was chaste, but sweet, and her lips were as soft as ever; it only lasted a few moments before she leaned back and gently turned his head so he would face forwards again.
“You watch the road and I’ll watch your mouth for you.” She punctuated with another kiss, this time on his cheek.
Twenty-four more miles.
“You’re late.” Charles was helping them with their meager belongings. The spring in his step and song in his voice made him look younger than Erik has ever seen him. He looked happy.
“We stopped for lunch on the way here,” Erik said. He was following Charles and Lee was following him through the wide hallways of the mansion. He vaguely remembered the labyrinthine layout of the house; the kitchen and the shared areas where in the middle to be easily accessible from everywhere, Charles’ bedroom in the south so it would catch as much sunlight as possible, the students’ area was facing the gardens and the forest beyond them. And of course, the underground structure he wasn’t familiar with, but whose outline he could feel with his power.
“So late in the day? I hoped we’d have dinner all together tonight. Logan and Rogue took some of the kids to buy everything we need for the barbecue; they’ll probably be back very soon.” Charles checked his wristwatch, the first gift he ever received from his students.
“We skipped breakfast because of the delays at the port, so we stopped in New York so we wouldn’t pass out from hunger.” Lee was playing it down; he insisted they stop at a nice restaurant and take their time before having to suffer Charles’, or his kids’, cooking for who knows how long. “But I will attend even though I probably won’t eat much; I missed the x-men and I’d like to see how they’re doing. By the way, is Scott here as well?” Real inconspicuous.
“No, he isn’t. He got married some time ago and moved back to Alaska.”
“Wow, so he really quit, after all?” What a waste.
“One can only hope,” Charles said with a jovial smile. He’ll have to ask more about that turn of events.
“If you don’t mind, I think I will skip tonight’s get-together.” He was just delaying the inevitable by refusing the invitation.
“I do mind actually. It would be a really good opportunity for the team and the kids to get to know you in a more informal atmosphere.”
“I think I would prefer meeting them one by one; there is less of a chance they will attack me as a group that way.”
“As you wish,” Charles said and stopped in front of a door. “Miss Forrester, these will be your lodgings for the time being.” Charles opened the door and handed Lee the keys. “There is an adjoining bathroom in the room, the common area is down the corridor to the left, and if you have an emergency there is a phone that connects to my office and the common area.”
“Thank you. I will see you later. If you need any help with the food prep, I’ll gladly give you a hand.”
“Don’t worry, just rest and gather your strength for tonight.” After Lee disappeared behind the door Charles turned to him. “Come, I’ll show you to your room.”
They walked in silence almost to the other side of the mansion; corridor after corridor, bland paintings, cheap decorations, and old, not antique, furniture surrounding them. “This is a school, Erik, not a museum. If I kept replacing every broken piece of antiquity with one of similar value, I would have gone out of business within the first year.”
“If you say so.” He didn’t know Charles’ actual net worth, he slept better at night this way, but he started keeping an eye on his more under wraps deals some time ago to make sure everything was going smoothly.
The room Charles gave him was just two doors down from his own bedroom, enough not to raise too many eyebrows.
“I’d really like you to meet the new cohort of students; none of the older ones are around anymore, so you don’t have to worry about them.”
“Yes, I only have to worry what your kids heard about me from the news and their older peers.” He took his suitcase from Charles and unlocked the door with a flick of his power. “Keep the keys.”
He decided he will attend the party, after all. His only hope for the night was that an all-out brawl will not break during the dinner due to his presence.
The garden looked splendid; the well-manicured lawn was replaced by flowers upon flowers: big bushes of hydrangea, marigolds and peonies everywhere, lilac trees closer to the entrance, hyacinths and gardenias peppered along the path that led to the patio, and wildflowers as the eye could see from the borders of the garden all the way to the beginning of the forest; the patio itself seemed almost swallowed by the wisteria plants and lit up with a thousand fairy lights. The preparations for the barbecue were well under-way; some of the younger children kept to themselves while others helped the adults set up the tables. As expected, Logan was responsible for the main course.
“The flowers were Ororo’s idea, she really has a talent for gardening. She even set up a small area for medicinal and aromatic plants, you know, chamomile, gingko, lavender, basil, rosemary, garlic and such; she even brought some vernonia lasiopus and nettle seeds from Kenya.” Charles said. “But the real wonder is in the attic where she keeps her most delicate and beautiful plants. Kitty is the one who takes care of them while Ororo is gone; if you befriend her, she might even let you see them,” he finished with a smile.
“That’s a good reason for me to try to buy the kids’ goodwill. I much prefer this view.” And who wouldn’t.
“Me too,” Charles said and put a hand on his shoulder and slightly pushed him forward. “I’m glad you changed your mind about joining us. Come, I’ll introduce you.” Erik went willingly, too distracted by the warmth of Charles’ hand on his back to protest.
As they approached the patio the buzzing of conversations quieted down and suddenly, he could feel a dozen pairs or eyes on him.
“I know you all are familiar with Magneto, the original leader of the brotherhood of evil mutants, one way or another; however, I wish you’d also get to know the man underneath that, or at least treat him as an ally for the rest of his stay here.” When Charles spoke, people listened; he commanded the room with a kind but authoritative voice that allowed no arguments.
“Bullshit!” It was one of the kids by the voice.
“Roberto, please restrain yourself.”
“You can’t be serious, professor! He is a villain and our enemy. He’s probably just waiting for the moment when we’re distracted to stab us in the back!”
“All I can do is give my word that I had changed and don’t wish you nor anyone else any harm. I do not presume to be forgiven, but I hope we can at least get along for Charles’ sake for the time I will stay at the school.” He would not trust himself if he was in their shoes either.
When he locked eyes with Lee, she winked at him and smiled slightly. All at once he missed her and wanted her close. Maybe if she came forward and held his hand in front of everyone, they would be more inclined to trust him.
“All right then. How do you want your steak?” Logan asked from behind the grill.
“Rare, please.”
“Any, uhhh, dietary restrictions?” Logan asked again.
“None at all.” At least he wasn’t difficult.
“Good. Last time we invited some kids from the nearby school and half of them were either allergic to something or didn’t eat meat. We had to throw away a lot of food that day. We try to ask every time now.”
Everyone still had their eyes on him, but the buzz of conversations was picking up again. Charles left him with the excuse of bringing out more food, so he didn’t know what to do with himself. Going to Lee was out of question, and he didn’t really know the others. Logan it was then.
He approached Logan slowly, not to give him any reason to consider him a threat, and just stood observing him for almost a minute before speaking. “Can I help you with anything?”
Logan finished setting up the wood and coal before answering, “sure. Why don’t you skewer the meat pieces for the shashlik,” Logan said, and gestured with his head towards the large cooking pot.
When he raised the lid, he could see it was almost full of pieces of pork, by the smell he could tell it was well marinated with vinegar, onions, cloves, black and white pepper, and coriander seeds.
“We prepared it yesterday, so it’s ready.”
“Wash your hands first!” Came a female voice from the general direction of the group of kids before he could even begin the preparations. He didn’t know them well enough to recognize who said that, and all of them looked perfectly innocent. Before he could start looking around for where to wash his hands, Logan gestured towards a little shed a few feet away. As he was going and had his back to the kids another shout came from the same voice “With soap!!” He was going to anyway.
Indeed, there was a sink, and a bar of soap, in the shed. As he was coming back, he made a show of keeping his hands raised, the way he saw surgeons do when they didn’t want to contaminate their hands, so the kids could see they’re a still a bit wet. They followed him with careful gazes; some had clear amusement written on their faces, others stubborn indifference, and at least one exuded genuine outrage. He will think about them later, right now he had a job to do.
Back at the grill he started putting the meat on the skewers, slow and repetitive; he liked working with his hands and if he tried hard enough, he could pretend he was among friends.
He almost skewered his own hand when Charles trailed his fingers down his spine. “I washed some vegetables to put on the grill.” He was holding a small crate full all types of vegetables.
“Chuck, they need to be cut and prepped.”
“Who is going to give me a hand with the veggies?” Charles asked in a raised voice. Clearly everyone knew that whoever will volunteer to help him will end up doing all the work. All of them, experienced students that they were, knew how not to be picked by avoiding the teacher’s gaze.
“I can help you!” Lee shouted and jumped to her feet; apparently not everyone knew.
“I couldn’t possibly accept, Lee, you’re a guest here and I’m not going to put a guest to work.” Charles was as charming as ever. “Erik is finishing up here anyway, so he will give me a hand when he’s done,” Charles said and turned towards him. “Won’t you?”
“Of course, I don’t mind helping some more.”
“Great! I’ll wait for you at the prep table.” Charles gestured towards the small arcade where he could see an old hardwood table piled with everything they might need for the party, then left him alone with Logan again.
Strange how no matter how long they stayed apart they always fell back on the same dynamic: Charles lead, and he happily followed; be it ideological disagreements or mundane tasks he was always ready to surrender himself to Charles’ will. And if absence makes the heart grow fonder and every hour spent together makes him long for ten more, what is he supposed to do? In what corner of the world could he hide? How could it ever be a fair fight? He lost this war between them before it even started, on the day they first met, and he learned what it meant to have hope again.
“You gonna finish the skewers?”
“Yes… yes.” He hurried back to work. The sooner he finished this the sooner he would be able to join Charles.
“What do you mean she looks exactly like Jean?” He stopped slicing the zucchinis and looked at Charles.
“Just that. Same hair color and texture, same eyes, same face features; even similar mannerism. If you put them side by side, I’d recognize Jean only by the way she carried herself” Charles was leaning against the table, looking towards the patio and his students. They were far enough that the conversation wouldn’t carry. “There is something about Madelyne that makes her feel more human.”
“Have you checked?
“Yes.” Charles was avoiding his eyes. “I screened her – both mentally and using more conventional tools. She is as legit as they get.”
“But you’re still suspicious.” It wasn’t a question.
“Everything about her is just too neat. Loving parents who passed away years ago, estranged from both sides of the family tree, she travelled often leaving everything behind, never had steady employment, just short jobs here and there,” Charles said.
“There isn’t anyone to confirm that she exists.”
“She mentioned some childhood friends, but not enough for me to find them.”
“Have you talked to Scott about this?”
“No, it’s not my place and he looked happy.” He could have bet on that.
“Even if she is legit, it can’t possibly be healthy,” he said.
“He is not a child anymore, and will have to deal with the consequences of his actions by himself.”
“So, you do think there will be consequences.”
Charles sighed and rubbed his eyes. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but then thought better of that; it took him until Erik finished with the carrots before he found the right words. “Jean was exceptional. There could never be another like her. Madelyne, for all her decency and kindness is a pale imitation of perfection. And Scott, one day, will realize that he did not marry Jean, merely her shadow. And it will be too late.”
“Do you feel guilty for not stopping him?” Erik asked. He stopped what he was doing so he could watch Charles.
Charles refused to answer or even look in his direction.
When they were younger Charles used to deflect, answer an uncomfortable question with a question of his own, sometimes completely change the topic. Not anymore. Now he knew better. Erik would keep them on track if it was an important discussion to have.
This wasn’t, so he allowed Charles to stew in this silence for a few more minutes.
“You said she was pregnant. How many months is she along?” he asked after seeing there will be no more information coming his way unless he intervened.
“Eight. Scott said Madelyne wants a home birth. There just aren’t hospitals close enough for them to go to if her waters break early. They even hired a midwife who will assist her.”
“They seem prepared,” Erik said, “are you going to visit them to see the baby?”
“Not right away. I’ll let them have their privacy for a while. Maybe they’ll even visit when she gets her strength back.”
“You just don’t want to go to Alaska.”
“No, I don’t,” Charles said and let out a short laugh. “I will be honest; I do not share their passion for the snow and isolation. It sounds so lonely.”
“From what you told me they’re not lonely at all; they have friends and family there with them.”
Before Charles could say anything more, they heard a female voice calling towards them. “Are you fellas gossiping?” the young woman asked and approached the table. He saw her earlier at the patio talking with Pyotr, but didn’t have the time to ask for her name.
“Only about the good,” Charles said with an easy smile, the tension in his shoulders melting away. He then turned towards him and said, “this is Rogue, she is a relatively new student here.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rogue.” He tried to sound casual, like he belonged there.
“We’ll see if I can say the same about you.” The amusement in her voice was enough to let him know she was teasing. She then turned towards Charles, “are you even helping, professor, or just bothering this poor man?”
“I’m helping the only way I know – by giving advice. Plus, it’s always lovely to see Erik wield a knife for its intended purposes.”
He caught her glancing at his hands for just a second. “I bet.”
“Did you need anything, Rogue?” Charles asked.
“I came here for drinks. Logan finished the beers we brough out and the kids wanted something sweeter than water,” she said and crouched down to reach the cooler under the table. “Do you guy want a drink as well?” she asked then looked at him, “we have beer, wine, and gin for gin and tonic. We also have non-alcoholic options.”
He was about to say that a gin and tonic would be perfect when Charles said “I have a better idea. Would you please go to my office and look in the cabinet behind my desk. There you’ll see a tall bottle made of dark glass. Bring it and two glasses.”
“Make it three and you’ll get your scotch.”
“Fine by me, but only if it will stay between us,” Charles said and tapped the side of nose twice.
“Deal. I’ll be back in a few.” Then she took off taking the cooler with her. They watched her make her way back to the patio.
“Isn’t she a bit old to attend your school?”
“Any mutant regardless of age deserves to have someone teach them how to control their powers. And she really needs someone to help her.”
“She seemed perfectly happy.”
“Rogue’s powers are always on. When she touches a person she gains their abilities, feelings, memories, and leaves the other person weak and hollow for some time. She is not fond of her lack of control, and there were times when absorbing another person’s memories was traumatic for her.”
“And you’re helping her?” he asked.
“I’m trying.” Charles’ petulant tone told him everything he wanted to know. “Anyway, let me help you,” he said and took a knife from the stand.
“I thought I was supposed to be helping you.”
“No need to split hairs, just tell me what to do.”
So he did. He showed Charles how best to hold the knife, and how to make sure he wouldn’t cut himself, and which veggies needed to be peeled, and which are tastier boiled, fried or roasted. Charles was focused on him, and he was focused on not missing anything from this impromptu cooking lesson. That’s probably why it took him some time to notice the strange sensation. He stopped mid-sentence it hit him.
It was coming from Charles’ knife; both blade and handle were made of metal, so he could feel Charles’ warm fingers grasping it and his thumb circling the rounded tip and going up and down as far as he reached occasionally. If not for the intensity in Charles’ gaze he’d consider that normal fidgeting.
“Stop it,” he hissed. Charles didn’t stop, if anything the caressing became more eager.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Someone will notice,” he said and looked around.
“Erik, no one cares about us; we might as well be alone.” Charles moved closer to him, cornering him between the table and the wall. It was now almost impossible to see them from the patio. “But if you’re worried, it won’t take long to find a room with all four walls and a door with a lock.” Charles punctuated by squeezing the handle a few times.
It was becoming harder and harder to stay focused – his mouth was getting dry, and he was getting warm despite the evening chill. But he couldn’t just drag Charles behind a column and do to him anything he wanted, not while he was here with Lee. Charles started using his other hand to trace his fingers down the edge, then up along the dull side, up and down, up and down, faster and faster. He needed to talk to Lee, the sooner the better.
It was Rogue’s voice that snapped him out his stupor. “You want an appetizer with this?” she asked and slightly raised the bottle. He didn’t even notice her approaching them, but Charles certainly did because he took a step back without Erik even noticing.
“No, thank you, dear,” Charles said and took the bottle from her. He poured him and Rogue two fingers of scotch and himself only a few drops on the bottom of the glass.
The scotch was bitter, just the way he liked it, with a hint of honey and liquorice. Rogue didn’t seem to appreciate it as much – she scrunched her face and was holding her hand to her mouth trying to stop the coughing fit. He promptly passed her a piece of fresh bread from the basket on the table.
“Didn’t expect it to be this strong,” she said while still holding the bread to her nose.
“It’s not a shot, you’re not supposed to gulp is down,” he said somehow amused, “take small sips to be able to enjoy the aftertaste.” The first time he tasted good alcohol he was already desensitized to the burn of moonshine; it still took him years before he could taste the subtle flavors in a good scotch.
“I’ll go see what the rest are doing,” Charles said, “be on your best behavior while I’m gone.”
“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Rogue said then turned and winked at him.
And then Charles was gone leaving him with only a pat on his back and a growing void in his chest.
“Let me help you finish here so we can go and cook it all.”
She tried reaching for the knife Charles used but he stopped her hand. “Take this one,” he said and handed her his own, “it’s smaller and more manageable. Charles almost sliced his hand open with that one.” He set it aside and took another, clean, knife to finish the job.
“All right, but just so you know I’m much more durable than a simple kitchen knife.”
“I don’t doubt it.” They worked in silence until everything was sliced, and the table was cleaned and wiped down. He had to ask her, he wanted to know, “why are you so cordial towards me? I would think you being on the team makes us natural enemies.”
She took her time answering, “let him who is without sin cast the first stone. When I first came to this school, I was far from innocent, yet the professor didn’t care about my past mistakes and the people I hurt – he took me in against the wishes of the rest of the x-men because I was in need for help. And now here he is, helping another lost soul. I believe that people can change, and I trust his judgment about you.”
“You seem to put a lot of trust in him.” He poured them another glass of scotch each.
“He’s a good man,” she said, then took the offered glass with a small ‘thank you’. “You don’t seem to trust him much.”
“I do, I trust him more than I could ever trust myself. But I worry what will happen the day his students will see him for who he is – a man. Will you be disappointed? Will you blame him for not being able to meet your expectations for him?” He sat on one of the chairs and looked at the garden, searching for Charles’ face in the small crowd. “Will you leave him when he needs you most, the way I did?” Not even two full glasses and he was already getting tear eyed.
His limbs felt heavy the way they haven’t in days and the exhaustion from the day came over him all at once. The harsh light of the naked lightbulb was hurting his eyes, the grasshoppers’ song was getting on his nerves and the uncounted flowers were just visual noise that obstructed his view of Charles; he wanted the barren lawn back.
He heard Rogue drag another chair and sit beside him. “I can’t say what will happen a year or a day from now. I can’t promise to hold his hand for the rest of his life, and I don’t think that’s something he needs or wants. At most I can promise I will not forget what he did for me until now.”
“That will have to be enough.” Nothing will ever be enough for him.
She didn’t say anything else for a long time, but he appreciated that she didn’t leave him alone. “Did you know my mother is a precognitive? She often said she knew something would happen yet didn’t do anything to change the future. When I was little, I thought she was lying, that she was pretending to see many futures to seem more powerful. Now I think she got tired of searching for that sequence of actions that will bring her the perfect future.”
“Precognition is a powerful gift.” He hadn’t heard of many precogs so far.
“Yes. Her name is Irene Adler by the way, maybe you two met.” Rogue was getting more comfortable in the chair now that the minefield of his feelings was behind them.
“Can’t say we have, but I heard about her.”
“She knew I would leave them and join the x-men a long time ago, but she didn’t do anything to stop or dissuade me. It was a choice I had to make by myself.
“My other mom went nuclear,” she said and laughed. “She couldn’t believe I wanted to become a superhero and not join her on whatever scheme she had going on at the time. Technically we’re on different sides of the barricade now, but I know she still loves me. She says it every time we meet.”
“Being a hero is a dangerous job.” Her good mood was contagious.
“I know! The heroes never strike to kill. But the villains can do anything they want.” He genuinely laughed at this.
“My own children decided the superhero life is more suited to them. I told them the same thing – they will be in a much greater danger and who knows for how long they will keep people’s goodwill. The public opinion is so capricious. But they wanted to do the right thing, so they left to join the avengers.” At this she threw back her head and laughed with such mirth he couldn’t not join her.
“Don’t be too hard on them, they were in their full teenage rebellion stage.”
“The only person I should be hard on is myself. I made so many mistakes with them… Now I just wish them to be happy and healthy.”
“Maybe if they’ll see that you changed, they’ll give you another chance; I would.”
“Thank you.” He enjoyed the cool breeze a little longer. “I think I will retire early tonight. Please let Charles know; and if you’d do me the favor of saving me a little bit of everything?” He was tired, but he was pulled back from that pit of despair for tonight.
“Sure, no problem. Sweet dreams.” Rogue stood up as well and started gathering the remaining food.
He threw another look at the patio, Charles was still nowhere to be found; it was fine, he will sleep alone tonight and in the morning they will meet again.