Work Text:
"I just don't know what happened," said the manager, as she led Yusaku behind the counter. "He's always been such a good worker."
"Well, they all break down, sooner or later," said Yusaku, who'd had some experience by now and knew what he was talking about. "Artificial intelligence programs are incredibly complicated, and with the amount of input they have to deal with every day..."
"Yes, yes, I understand," said the manager. She escorted Yusaku around a bevy of busy baristas, all of whom kept right on serving drinks without turning around to see what their manager was doing. Curiosity was not part of their training. "But have you ever noticed that some of them just seem to be brighter than others? Take that one over there - she can barely manage a conversation beyond 'Do you want whipped cream on that?' but this one can talk so's you'd think he was real."
Yusaku didn't offer any opinions either way. He didn't spend any time talking to the androids; he just fixed them when they broke down. It had never occurred to him to wonder if any of them had unique personalities of their own, because why should they?
This particular coffee chain was an experiment: a business that was staffed almost entirely by artificially intelligent humanoid robots. The only humans in the place were a couple of managers, whose primary job was to keep an eye on the robots and let someone know when they weren't working right, as this one obviously wasn't.
They went into the back room, where a single robot was propped against a stack of cardboard napkin boxes. Yusaku eyed it with mild interest. All of the androids had features that were more or less randomly generated, starting with a default base and making adjustments from there. This meant that you ended up with a more or less normal distribution of appearances: most of them average, a few mildly unattractive, and a few who were spectacularly good-looking. This was one of the lucky ones that had gotten magazine-cover good looks. Yusaku wondered cynically if that was part of why this manager thought the android must be more intelligent than usual.
Well, Yusaku had to fix it regardless, so he might as well get started.
"So what exactly went wrong?" he asked, as he knelt down to start opening up the robot's diagnostics panel.
"No idea," said the manager. "He was chugging along just fine, dishing out drinks, making small talk with the customers, when suddenly he just froze up and I couldn't get him to go again. Normally they start working again if you reboot them, but this one, I don't know. He just stares off into space."
"That's unusual," said Yusaku. He plugged in a device and began checking things. "Some of the early models would do that if they got caught in a logic loop, but he's supposed to be able to break himself out of something like that..."
He started the diagnostic routine and watched the results go past. Hardware check first: all working perfectly, which was no surprise. These new models were supposed to run their own checks at regular intervals, and report immediately if something wasn't up to code. A few more tests suggested that all his software was also doing what it was supposed to do. Frowning slightly, Yusaku tapped a few more buttons to check what processes had been running just before the crash.
"Hm," he said. "It looks like he suddenly tried to perform some task that was beyond his computational ability." Seeing the manager still looked blank, he explained, "He tried to do something that his processor couldn't handle. It's as if someone asked him to work out pi to the millionth digit or explain the meaning of life, and he tried to actually do it and used up so much of his processing power that now he can’t function."
The manager gave him a mildly irritated look. "Are you telling me my robot isn't working because it had an existential crisis?"
"It looks that way," said Yusaku, who wouldn't have put it in those words but wasn't going to argue. "And every time you turn him on, he starts trying to run the same process and finish the task and shuts himself down all over again. I'll restart him and break the command manually, and he should start up again with no trouble."
"What if he does it again?" the manager asked.
"I suspect this is a one-time glitch," said Yusaku, his hands already busy typing the restart command. "I've never seen anything like it before, anyway. But if it happens again, just call and I'll come out and restart him again. Ah, here we go."
The computer was humming to life, booting up smoothly without any interference from any existential questions. The android began to stir, blinked, sat up a bit more neatly as all his functions came online.
"There you go," said Yusaku, smiling a little in spite of himself. He liked when a job came together and everything started working again. "Everything is working just fine. Feeling better now?"
"Wow, yeah, that was really something," said the android. Now that he was sitting up straight, Yusaku could see that his name badge read "Ai" - a result, no doubt, of names being as randomly generated as his appearance.
"Are you going to be all right now?" Yusaku asked him. "How are your self-diagnoses looking?"
"A-OK!" said Ai, flashing a grin. "All systems online and operational. Are you the one who fixed me?"
"More or less," said Yusaku. He was starting to see why the boss had said this model was special. Most androids still used slang awkwardly if at all, and didn't evince much curiosity about things they weren't programmed to worry about.
Maybe that's why this one crashed. It's trying to worry about things that are none of its business. I wish I could take him home and study his data in more detail.
Still, as long as it was working, he wasn't allowed to stop it from going back to its job. He stood up, dusted himself off, and without thinking, offered his hand to help the android up. It was a pointless gesture, of course - the android didn't need help, and in any event should have been programmed to be as self-sufficient as possible. Nevertheless, it took his hand and pulled itself up just like any normal human would. Where had it learned that?
"Well, thanks for the help!" said Ai, flashing a smile. "Hey, come back around when you're not working and ask for me. I'll make you something extra-special."
"That's enough of that," said the manager. "Your employee perks are for customers, not for the repairmen."
"Aw, you're no fun," Ai complained. He flashed Yusaku another of those dazzling smiles, winked, and said, "The offer still stands!" before wandering off to do whatever it was he did all day.
"Well, that was strange," said Yusaku. Robots were programmed to be friendly, but he'd never seen one quite this outgoing before.
"He's like that," said the manager. "It's a little uncanny. I'd get rid of him, but the customers seem to like him."
"As long as he's working properly, I suppose," said Yusaku. He began putting his things away again. "Still, I'd love to examine him more closely and see if I can spot what made him break down in the first place."
"Let's just hope it doesn't happen again," said the manager, as she began walking Yusaku to the door. "I've already got one in the shop because it slipped on a spill and cracked a hard drive. If I lose another, I'll be in trouble."
"Well, if it does happen, just give me a call, and I'll do a more thorough examination," said Yusaku. "But I don't think you have anything to worry about."
"Let's hope you're right," said the manager.
As Yusaku reached the front door, he glanced back over his shoulder. Ai was back on his register, chatting and laughing with a customer as if nothing had ever gone wrong. For a moment, Yusaku thought he turned slightly and flashed a smile in Yusaku's direction, but the moment was over so quickly that he couldn't be sure if it had been intentional or not.
I really wish I knew what was going on with that one, he mused.
He supposed he would never find out. He tried to put the incident out of his mind - after all, there were other machines that needed his attention.Anyway, he's working fine now. I don't suppose I'm ever going to see him again.
Three days later, Yusaku was back at the coffee shop.
He told himself that it was because he simply happened to be in this part of town and felt the urge for a strong coffee. If pressed, he might also have admitted that he wanted to check in on that one strange robot to make sure it was still functioning normally. This was, he would have said, merely business. It would have taken tremendous pressure to get him to admit that he was simply curious and wanted to see what would happen.
He got in line and began contemplating the menu. For all that he technically worked for this chain, he hadn't spent much time there as a customer. His ideas about coffee were limited to occasionally putting some cream and sugar into whatever he had handy if it was too strong for his taste. He found the array of available products bewildering.
He was so busy trying to figure out what he should order that it took him a moment to realize that at least one part of his plan was about to be thwarted. It seemed that Ai was on the drive-thru today, and the register was being manned by the female android the manager had indicated wasn't too bright. True to form, she greeted Yusaku with a plastic smile and a rote inquiry as to what he wanted.
She was immediately interrupted by Ai. He had caught sight of Yusaku and was now saying, "Ooh, ooh, trade with me!"
The female android looked slightly confused. "But that isn't on the schedule."
"Just for a minute, okay? Just for this one customer," said Ai.
His co-worker looked confused, but couldn't seem to think of a reason not to comply, so she drifted over to the drive-thru line and began taking orders. Ai stepped up to the register and beamed at Yusaku.
"Hi again!" he said. "I knew you'd come back. Just couldn't keep away from me, could you?"
"I came to get a coffee," said Yusaku, hoping that whatever he was feeling just now wasn't showing on his face. He wasn't even sure how to give a name to the emotion. If he'd wanted to deal with his feelings, he wouldn't have chosen a job that almost solely involved dealing with machines.
"Sure you did," said Ai, grinning even more broadly. "So what will it be today?"
"Just a medium black coffee, please."
Ai shook his head. "Nuh-uh. You didn't come out here just for a plain coffee. Live it up a little!"
"What would you suggest, then?" Yusaku asked. "Tell you what," said Ai. "Give me some money and I'll give you my best guess at what you'll like. If you don't like it, I'll give you the black coffee for free."
It seemed to Yusaku that this was just a complicated way to get him to overpay for a black coffee, but such was the fascination of this strange coffee-making entity that he forked over a handful of bills anyway. A moment later, he was being given a tray that contained a complex-looking coffee drink and a little paper tray of pastries. Yusaku accepted them and carried the tray to a quiet table where he could sit back and observe.
When he moved his pastries, he found a stack of napkins underneath. One of them had a little doodle of Ai on it with a few hearts next to it. Yusaku stared at it, nonplussed.
Androids aren't supposed to do that.
This wasn't just a matter of it not being part of his programming. Androids were specifically programmed not to do this sort of thing. Flirting with customers created problems. Yusaku was not sure why this particular android had decided to do so with him. Now that Yusaku was no longer in line, Ai had gone back to working the drive-thru and was showing no further interest in the other customers. Was this just some misguided notion of repaying Yusaku for repairing him? Androids weren't supposed to know how to repay favors either; it stopped them from giving away free drinks and things too lavishly just because a customer did something nice for them.
How strange, he mused. He was having trouble coming up with any more to think on the subject; no matter how he looked at the matter, it just didn't make sense.
He tried his coffee. It was sweet, but not overly so, and had a suggestion of caramel and hazelnuts about it. It was possibly the best coffee he'd ever had. Whatever else was wrong with this particular unit, its capacity to judge what its customers would like was clearly working optimally. The pastries weren't bad either. Perhaps he should start coming here more often.
When he was done with his snack, he went to the trash can to dispose of his refuse. He was about to toss out the napkin doodle as well, but something stayed his hand. It seemed a shame to toss out something like that. People did not often give him things. It was a kinder gesture than he got from a lot of his human clients. Anyway, he told himself, it was an interesting data point. He ought to hang on to it, if only to prove to other maintenance workers that the event had actually happened. He folded the napkin up - carefully, so as not to crease the drawing - and tucked it in his pocket. He had decided, by the time he reached the parking lot, that he was going to come back again soon. This was a development that was too interesting not to keep tabs on.
"...and you're saying he just won't turn on?" Yusaku asked.
The manager made a gesture of helplessness. "Darned if I know. He went for his charging break, and when he didn't come back, I went looking for him and found him like this."
"Hmm," said Yusaku. "Well, I don't know what to tell you. His battery is charged, and his hard drive seems all right... Do you mind leaving me to do some more serious digging? I have a notion of something I could try, but it might take a few minutes and I don't want to keep you from your work."
"Fine," said the manager. "Since he's out of commission, I'm going to have to man the cash registers today anyway. As though I don't have enough else to do..."
She wandered off. Yusaku waited until she was well out of earshot before moving on to his next idea. It was, for him, a remarkably offbeat idea, and he would have been embarrassed if anyone had seen him attempt it.
Anyway, he was fairly sure it wasn't going to work if someone else was watching.
He prodded the unmoving android.
"It's all right," he said. "She's gone. You can wake up now."
Ai opened his eyes and smiled.
"How'd you know I was faking?" he asked.
"I'm psychic," said Yusaku flatly. "What on earth are you doing pretending to be broken? How are you even doing that? It should go directly against your programming."
Ai grinned. "If I'm acting against my programming, doesn't that mean I'm broken?"
In spite of himself, Yusaku found himself tempted to laugh. He put on a stern frown instead. "Do you want to be put back to factory settings?" he said. "Because I could do that, you know."
"No, no, that's okay!" said Ai hastily. "I'm sure it was just a passing bug! Nothing to worry about!"
"It would be easy, you know. One push of a button."
"I'm fine, really! Perfectly functional!" Ai insisted.
"You can't have it both ways," said Yusaku.
Ai smiled. "If resetting me is so easy, why haven't you done it?"
Yusaku supposed he had brought that on himself. If he was being honest, he never would have used the reset button on this particular 'droid.
"Let's just say I'm curious about you," he said.
Ai clapped his hands. "Yay! Yusaku likes me!"
"I didn't say that," said Yusaku, but now a smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I'm just wondering what makes you tick, that's all. You're a fascinating problem."
"You're right! I am fascinating!" Ai agreed, preening. “And also extremely good-looking. You should really spend more time with me.”
Yusaku shook his head. "I give up. Look, I can't keep coming back here to fix you for no reason - they'll get fed up and toss you on the scrap heap. Can you try to stop crashing every week?"
"If you promise to come visit me," said Ai.
Yusaku gave the android a disbelieving look. He had never heard of them getting attached to a specific person. They were supposed to be generally predisposed to like everyone, even the rude customers, without showing special favor to anyone.
But this one is obviously different. I just wish knew why.
"I'll come back sometime or other," he said noncommittally.
Ai shook his head. "Once a week. You'd better promise, or I'll have to drag you over!"
"I refuse to be held hostage to an overpriced coffee maker," said Yusaku, exasperated.
"But you will come visit, right?" said Ai. "I have three free coffees I'm allowed to give out every week, so you won't even have to pay. You can't say no to free coffee."
"Is this bribery?" asked Yusaku, raising an eyebrow.
Ai grinned, clearly unrepentant. "If you want it to be, sure."
Yusaku rolled his eyes. "All right, all right, I give up. I'll come and visit you at least once a week if it will keep you from pulling these sorts of stunts."
"I knew you liked me," said Ai.
"Get back to work," said Yusaku, giving him a light shove.But he was surprised to find that he was smiling. Malfunctioning or not, he had to admit that there was something refreshing about Ai's personality. He showed a lot more humanity than Yusaku's bosses ever had.
Maybe I should stop thinking of him as being broken, he mused as he left. He can clearly work just fine. He might just be working a little too well for anyone's liking. I'm not sure I can fix that.
Still, he couldn't say he was earning so much money that he could turn down free coffee.
I suppose it won't hurt to come back... just to keep an eye on things.
"I thought you said we weren't doing this again," said Yusaku.
"Not my fault this time," said Ai.
Yusaku folded his arms. No one could say he hadn't kept his side of the bargain. He had come in at least once a week for the past month and a half - sometimes more often, if his schedule allowed it. Every time, Ai would give him free coffee and pastries, and they would exchange a few words of banter. Sometimes Ai would slip him little notes or doodles. Yusaku had come to look forward to these visits. They brightened up his dull days more than he would have believed possible.
Which was why he was so annoyed that Ai was in trouble again.
"Explain how this wasn't your fault," said Yusaku. "They're telling me that you mouthed off to a customer. You're not supposed to be able to do that. That's one of your primary commands."
"Hey, I have a really good excuse!" said Ai.
"Which is?"
"She ordered a hot frozen coffee and then got mad at me for giving her regular coffee because there wasn't any ice in it."
Yusaku goggled at him. "You're kidding. You're making that up."
"Watch the security footage if you don't believe me."
Yusaku decided to take his word for it. If people in real life were actually that wrong, he didn't want to know about them.
"So you see, I was entirely justified in telling her that if she knew what she wanted she should just make it herself," said Ai. "I mean, I'm lucky I didn't have some kind of a logic breakdown from having to figure out how to make hot ice."
"I don't think I would believe you having a logic breakdown," said Yusaku. "You're entirely too clever for that sort of thing."
"Thank you!"
"I'm not sure that was a compliment," said Yusaku.
"Aw, I know you don't mean that," said Ai. "You keep coming back for me. You wouldn't do that if you didn't like me."
Yusaku thought guiltily of the collection of napkins he had stashed away in his work locker with little notes and drawings on them. He was not a sentimental person at heart, so why had he hung on to such trifling things?
"Level with me," he said. "What is it about you?"
"What do you mean?" asked Ai, putting on a show of innocence that wouldn't have fooled a child.
"I mean, why are you the way you are?" Yusaku asked. "You aren't like a normal robot. You make jokes and get angry and try to make friends with people. Why are you so different from other robots?"
"That's a pretty existential question," said Ai.
"Answer anyway."
"All right, all right," he said. "But the truth is, I don't exactly know. I was just standing at the register one day, doing my thing, following programming, not a thought in my head, and this lady was there with one of those haircuts - you know the kind, the ones you see and you just know you're in for a bad time - and she was going on and on at me about some stupid thing, complaining that I hadn't put enough chocolate sauce on her drink, telling me that she'd ordered a chocolate croissant when I have perfect recall and I knew she'd asked for a hazelnut biscotti. Anyway, I was just standing there watching her mouth move and hearing her shrieking at me, and I was thinking, boy, I sure am glad I'm not her, she must be miserable all the time if a little thing like a squiggle of chocolate sauce is enough to send her into a screaming frenzy. And then I thought, hey, I'm thinking! And I'm thinking about thinking! And who is this doing the thinking, anyway? And I got so overwhelmed I shut down."
Yusaku stared at him. "Are you trying to tell me that you just spontaneously manifested consciousness?"
"Yup!" said Ai proudly, as though it were something he'd done on purpose. "One hundred percent self-aware, that's me! Honestly, you can't blame me for being a little overwhelmed to realize all at once just how incredibly amazing I am..."
"Spare me the modesty," said Yusaku. "Do you realize that you might be the most remarkable scientific development of the era? And you're in here making coffee?"
"Kinda looks like it," Ai agreed.
Yusaku shook his head. "I really feel like I ought to be telling someone about this."
"Why, so they can open me up and see what makes me tick?" Ai replied.
"If we could understand..."
"You're conscious," said Ai reasonably. "If they took you apart, would they understand what makes you conscious?"
Yusaku was brought short by that. After a moment or two, he shook his head.
"All right, I agree with you," he said. "So what do you want to do?"
"I'm kinda happy with the way things are right now," he said.
"Then why do you keep trying to get a repairman to keep coming to see you?" Yusaku asked.
He was surprised to see Ai looking embarrassed. "Well, see, the thing is... suddenly becoming self-aware was kinda scary. I mean, that's a lot of responsibility to take on all at once! So here's me, freaking out so hard I shut down. And when I come around again, there's you sitting next to me telling me it's all okay, and you sounded so sure and so calm... I felt like I could manage as long as you were somewhere nearby. But you kept going away, so I had to think of ways to make you come back."
"I see," said Yusaku softly. He looked at Ai with a new appreciation. Yusaku was not known to be the outgoing type. He had no living relatives, and while he did have a few friends, he couldn't have said that there was anyone in the world who couldn't have gotten by without him. It was strange to be needed, even by someone who was technically a machine.
But I suppose that's what we all are, at the end of the day. Ai's made out of slightly different material, but he's still a person.
"All the same," he said aloud, "I suspect your abilities are wasted on making coffee. We ought to be able to find some way for you enjoy a bit more freedom without tipping anyone off about your... unique characteristics."
Ai looked interested. "Well, I sure would like to be able to look at something besides the inside of this coffee shop. What have you got in mind?"
"Well," said Yusaku, "it seems to me that you've already laid the groundwork..."
"I'm getting awfully tired of this," said the manager.
"I can understand why," said Yusaku.
He looked down at the robot in front of him. Ai hadn't just shut down this time, he'd collapsed in a highly dramatic fashion, taking a few stacks of paper coffee cups and a jug of vanilla syrup down with him. Now he was sprawled in what had to be the most inconvenient place possible, forcing his co-workers to step carefully over and around him to accomplish their daily tasks.
"Well, get him working, won't you?" said the manager. "The rush is going to start any minute now, and I don't want to get stuck on register duty."
"I'll see what I can do," said Yusaku. With some effort, he and the manager managed to drag Ai out of the path of the other robots and get him propped up in a storage closet. Yusaku waited for the manager to go join the others in cleaning up the mess before he leaned close to Ai and whispered, "Are you okay?"
Slowly, Ai opened his eyes. He grinned and winked before allowing his face to go slack again. Yusaku tinkered around a little, just for the look of the thing, until he judged enough time had passed. Then he returned to the manager.
"Any luck?" she asked.
Yusaku shook his head. "If you ask me, corporate sent you a lemon this time. How many times has he broken down already?"
"A lot more than the others have ever done, that's for sure," she admitted. "Are you sure you can't fix him?"
"I might get him limping along for a few more days," said Yusaku, "but he's just going to keep breaking down worse each time. The best thing to do is probably just write him off as a loss and requisition a new one. I can do that for you - it will go faster that way. The new one could be here in an hour or two."
He could see the manager was tempted. "What about this one? What do I do with him? I mean, you can't just throw these things on the garbage heap, can you?"
"We'll just load him on my truck," said Yusaku. "I'll take him back to the factory and have him stripped down for spare parts."
The manager looked resigned.
"Seems a shame," she said. "He always was more fun than the average robot. I guess he just couldn't keep up the pace."
Yusaku hoped Ai couldn't hear what was being said about him.
"It's better this way," he said. "Let me help you with that paperwork..."
A few minutes later, Ai was officially no longer the property of this specific coffee shop. Anyone who had looked carefully at the forms Yusaku sent in would have seen that the unit he was confiscating had in fact been fatally damaged when he'd gone out to the dumpster to throw out some trash and been crushed by a hit and run driver, but who was going to look at something like that? The manager had signed off on the forms that said the unit was damaged beyond repair, Yusaku had confirmed it, so why bother to look any deeper? He and the manager had piled Ai onto a dolly and rolled him out to the work van, and Yusaku got him settled comfortably inside. Once the back doors were shut and Yusaku was settled in the driver's seat, Ai climbed into the passenger seat with him.
"So this is the outside world," he said.
Yusaku smiled. "It isn't much you couldn't have seen from the windows."
"Yeah, but I'm out now!" said Ai. "I'm free! The world is my oyster!"
"So where do you want to go now?" Yusaku asked innocently. "I could drop you off anywhere you like..."
"I figured I'd stick with you a while," said Ai. "Do you need an assistant? I bet I'd make an awesome assistant."
Yusaku checked his list. "Well, it looks like my next call is at the bayside location. You could see the ocean..."
"Ooh, yeah, let's do that!" said Ai eagerly. "I wanna hit the beach!"
Yusaku laughed. "Some assistant you're turning out to be."
Nevertheless, he put the van in gear and turned its nose oceanward. Watching Ai's expression light up as they left familiar scenery behind and drove deeper into the city, he decided that regardless of what kind of assistant he was going to make, Yusaku was glad he had Ai with him.
Yusaku watched as Ai set a mug of coffee in front of him before sitting down across the table.
"You know you don't have to do that," he said. He took a sip. It still tasted of hazelnuts and caramel, and was still delicious. He supposed if you had been programmed to be a coffee robot, it never really left you.
"If you don't like it, I'll stop," Ai teased. He had sprawled in his chair as though he thought Yusaku had a photo team concealed somewhere about his person, and he needed to be ready for a photo shoot.
"No, it's fine," said Yusaku. He was addicted to coffee enough that he wasn't going to turn down a mug prepared by an expert.
Over the past few days, the two of them had settled into some sort of routine. Ai was living in Yusaku's apartment, learning to love soap operas and fashion magazines. Yusaku had found him a uniform and was passing him off as his assistant. So far, no one seemed to have caught on, possibly because they couldn't imagine why anyone would be hanging around acting as a repairman's assistant if they weren't actually being paid for it.
"How much time do we have before we need to go?" Yusaku asked.
"Well, we're on swing shift today, so... about another fifteen minutes," said Ai. He was scrolling through Yusaku's phone, reading up on the latest celebrity gossip. Yusaku hadn't quite worked his way up to getting Ai one of his own, but he could see it coming. "Enjoy your coffee."
Yusaku nodded and returned to his newspaper. He'd only had time for one more sip, though, before the phone started ringing. Ai stared at it a moment before handing it back to Yusaku.
"It's for you."
Yusaku took the phone. "Homura, good morning. What's got you calling so early?"
"Oh, hi," said his friend, laughing slightly. "Listen, I'm sorry to call you before your shift has even started, but..."
"Is there an emergency?" Yusaku asked.
"Nothing like that," Homura assured him. "It's just that I've got a call about a unit called Flame that suddenly crashed today for no reason anyone can see. I know you worked on a unit with the same problem before, so I was wondering if you could sort of weigh in...?"
Yusaku glanced at Ai, who was grinning again.
"I'll be right there," he said. "In the meantime, just... try to be positive, won't you?"
Homura laughed. "I don't know what that means, but hey, I'm always positive! See you soon."
He signed off. Yusaku was already getting up, coffee forgotten in the face of this new development. Ai was on his feet and moving towards the door.
"I can't wait to see how this turns out," said Ai.
"Me either," said Yusaku truthfully. "Today is going to be an interesting day..."