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Yoshiki finds Hikaru by the creek, the banging of drums on the outskirts of his hearing. There isn’t anyone around, and Yoshiki guesses that’s why Hikaru came here. Hikaru asks where Kaoru went, seemingly out of obligation; Yoshiki answers in a dry tone. He tosses him his shaved ice, and they eat in silence.
The cold of ice on his tongue does little to cool him down. The air feels oppressive on his back and the grass scratchy against his ankles. There’s a tension between them that waxes and wanes with every passing day, never quite the same so they never feel on kilter. The silence between them isn’t a choice; it never is.
Yoshiki can tell that Hikaru wants to say something though. His face scrunches up, he won’t meet Yoshiki’s gaze, and he opens and closes his mouth like a fish floundering in a rushing stream of awkwardness. Another one of Hikaru’s mannerisms mirrored perfectly.
He doesn’t feel like playing games, so he sticks the spoon in the ice, brings his knees to his chest, and says, “Just spit it out.”
Hikaru jolts like he truly didn’t expect to be caught. He rubs the back of his head. “Well, I was kind of hoping we’d dance at some point.”
His eyebrows knit with confusion. “Dance? When have you ever wanted to dance?”
Because Hikaru had never said anything like that. Ever. In fact, if Yoshiki brought up dancing, Hikaru probably would’ve asked him if he was thinking of taking up figure skating next.
Hikaru smiles sheepishly. “It seems fun. I wanted to at least try it!” And he looks so hopeful that Yoshiki’s heart clenches. It’d be cruel to turn him down, right?
“I’m not a good dancer,” he warns.
Hikaru laughs. “That’s alright! I’ve never done it ever!”
He lets Hikaru pull him up. His legs feel heavier at the mere prospect of dancing, and he flinches under the hand that comes up to rest on his shoulder. What are they even going to do? The only dancing he’d ever done was the traditional dance they’d learned in elementary school.
“Wait- we don’t really have music,” he says, and while it isn’t a lie, it’s also clearly an excuse.
Hikaru doesn’t take offense, or maybe he doesn’t see it for what it is. He takes out his phone and a few seconds later, there’s some awful pop music blasting from its speakers. Fast-paced and punchy with an electronic backing that makes his ears buzz, it pulls a laugh out his chest that’s way too loud and hearty for how anxious he feels. “What even-? Now I know you’re joking!”
“What do you mean? This song is good!”
He wheezes, slipping out of Hikaru’s arms. “No-! There’s no way!”
Hikaru pouts in a familiar way, but the context is all wrong because the Hikaru he knew would never defend this abomination of chords. They truly are different, he thinks between chuckles, and if there’s one good thing about the song, it’s that it saps all the tension from the air. Yoshiki is still laughing as he brings his arms up. “You really wanna dance for the first time to this?”
“You make it seem like a big deal.” Then fiercer, he says, “And yes I do! This is the first song I’ve listened to and liked.”
The laughter subsides, but he still feels light-headed from it. “Alright, alright. I won’t deny you your first time.”
Hikaru puffs out his cheeks, restarting the song. Autotuned sounds cut through the calming drone of the night, and this song clearly isn’t meant for slow dancing, but Yoshiki dutifully brings an arm around Hikaru‘s shoulders.
They’re completely off rhythm, their steps haphazard as Hikaru narrows his eyes in focus and watches their shifting feet. Yoshiki can tell that he’s being careful to not mess up, and it annoys him a bit. It wasn’t as if Yoshiki would get mad at him for making a mistake, and so, on the kick of a drum, Yoshiki steps on Hikaru’s foot. Hikaru tenses under his hands. Then, Yoshiki does it again. And a third time.
Finally, Hikaru stops looking at the ground and meets Yoshiki’s eyes with a glare. “You’re doing that on purpose.”
“Maybe.” He can’t help the grin that spreads across his face when he does it again.
And then it becomes an all-out brawl as they try to step on each other as much as possible. Yoshiki skirts around Hikaru’s kicks while still keeping his arms around him, pulling him closer for when he strikes back. It’s fun, the most fun he’s had since Hikaru died. Maybe he should feel more ashamed for spinning in circles with a corpse, but he only feels warm with a liveliness as they laugh together. Hikaru crows in victory when he manages to make Yoshiki stumble, and he pounces on the vulnerability with the ferocity of a tiger, unleashing a barrage of steps on his feet that makes Yoshiki laugh even harder.
Hikaru would’ve never done this with him. This song, this laughter, this feeling: it’s all exclusive to Hikaru. The way Hikaru’s eyes glow with a competitive fire that Yoshiki feels compelled to match; how he feels tired and a bit of breath but doesn’t want to ever stop; and the pull to do more and make this night even more special, he feels himself get swept up in all of it.
The song has long since ended, but Yoshiki won’t ever be able to hear it again without thinking of this moment. The singing of frogs and hum of mosquitoes keep the beat for them as they twirl. Their footsteps make little splashes when they edge too close to the creek, and they refuse to look down to check their footworks. Just kept their eyes on each other. Emboldened, Yoshiki moves his hands lower to grip Hikaru’s hips, and in turn, Hikaru brings both arms around his neck. They only step on each other occasionally, small accidents as they get used to dancing in earnest; it still pulls a giggle out of them each time.
His bangs press against his forehead from sweat, so he sweeps them aside to get a better look at Hikaru’s flushed face. He wishes he’d brought his camera; he just has to settle for committing each line of Hikaru’s face to memory. The moonlight catches on the white of Hikaru’s hair, making it look as though he was glowing from deep within, and his crooked tooth is fully on display from the width of his smile. His left eye drips down and pulls back into shape before dripping again as if Hikaru was so excited that he was having trouble keeping it all contained. He finds it beyond endearing. Maybe Hikaru sees something in his face as well because his eyes soften like he can’t believe what he’s seeing either, and his drooping eye slips completely, dripping down his cheek like a stream of happy tears.
This might be what mania feels like, this sudden rise from the depression he’s been caught in. If it is, he never wants to come back down. He tightens his grip on Hikaru's hips. He could pull him closer. It’d be so easy. Their first kiss during a summer festival. It feels straight out of a movie.
Then, Kaoru coughs.
The magic doesn’t drain from the moment, but it does diminish greatly as Yoshiki becomes more aware of the ache in his legs and Hikaru’s face becomes solid. Yoshiki drops his hands and lets them fall politely by his side. Hikaru pulls away fully to look at Kaoru.
Kaoru chews on a pickle with a bored look. “The fireworks are gonna start soon.”
Hikaru perks up at that. “Oh! I’ll go find us the best spot ever!” He takes off running. Yoshiki isn’t in as much of a hurry, and he makes his way towards Kaoru’s side to walk with her.
He spots her pickle jar, which is strangely empty. “How long were you watching?”
“A while,” She answers plainly, taking a swig of pickle juice. “I didn’t know you liked that kind of music.”
He doesn’t refute that like he would’ve before; instead, he says, “You’re going to get a stomachache from all that acid.”
She shrugs, drinking more. He frowns, knowing he’ll have to nurse her when she gets sick later. “Looks like Hikaru found a spot,” she says.
He looks and sees that’s true. Hikaru is waving at them wildly with a wide smile. He almost hits a woman in the face as he swings his arm back and forth. Yoshiki chuckles with amusement. “Let’s grab him before he gets in trouble.”
Kaoru doesn’t move though. She swirls the remaining juice in the jar, and after a moment, she says, “You two looked really happy.”
He blushes, unsure what to say.
There’s a whistle as a firework soars into the sky and pops in an explosion of red and white. Hikaru looks up, and Yoshiki can see his mouth move, probably saying something like ‘oh no! I missed it!’.
“Just don’t kiss in front of me, okay?”
Yoshiki laughs. He doesn’t think she’ll have to worry about that for a while. Ruffling her hair, he says, “We won’t. Now, c’mon. Hikaru is waiting for us.”