Chapter Text
Little pajama covered feet padded down the stairs. The sound of laughter could be heard coming from the illuminated kitchen. The young boy, no more than 3-years-old, wandered into the cluster of adults drinking wine and conversing with one another. His little blue eyes searched each face, hoping to find the one he was looking for. Most of the adults didn't even notice him as he weaved through the room.
"Well, look who we have here," a sweet, woman's voice announced. "Someone wanted to join the party."
She crouched down to the boy's level with a smile just as a man approached with a look of disapproval.
"I'm so sorry. We thought he was asleep," the man in the crisp suit said scooping the boy into his arms. "Diana!"
Another woman dressed to the nines in a short black dress, her hair curled perfectly under her chin, came pushing through the crowd. She had a smile plastered on her face as she scooped the toddler from her husband's arms. She could tell by the anger in his eyes she would be hearing about this later.
"He is quite the escape artist," Diana said trying to lighten the mood.
Others around her laughed, but her husband, Richard, was not amused.
"Mommy, my belly hurts," the boy whimpered.
Before Diana could respond the toddler began vomiting his dinner all over the kitchen floor, and his mother's dress. There were sounds of disgust as guests tried to avoid being a victim of the boy's tossed cookies.
"Oh, for the love of God, Diana, get the boy out of here!" Richard snapped as two women, clearly the hired help for the evening, rushed over to help clean up the mess.
Diana tried to soothe the crying child as she excused herself from the party. Once upstairs out of earshot, she let her true colors show. She stormed toward a room that had the door closed and burst through it, startling the sleeping recipient.
"This is what you do when we ask you to babysit Jesse?" Diana growled as she flipped on the light switch, temporarily blinding the old woman. "We should've put you in a damn home. You are useless."
"I'm sorry," the elderly woman said as she carefully got out of bed.
"Sorry? You're always sorry! Do you see my dress? The little monster threw up on me! In front of everyone! If you would've been doing your job, this wouldn't have happened!" Diana shouted as she dropped her son on the bed like he was a pile of laundry. "Clean him up. I need to go change."
With that she left the room, slamming the door shut.
"Oh, sweet boy. Come with Maw Maw," she said reaching for him. "Let's get you in the tub."
After bathing her grandson and dressing him in a new set of pajamas, the two snuggled together in the rocking chair. This was their favorite place to cuddle. Jesse popped his thumb into his mouth as he curled into his grandmother's chest. She began to softly sing Edelweiss from the Sound of Music. It was Jesse's favorite calming song. He soon drifted to sleep, safe in the arms of his only protector.
(xxxxx)
The front door to the St. James' mansion swung open as 6-year-old Jesse came running in out of breath. His mother and father were back in town, and he had made a welcome home gift for them in art class at school. He ran into the kitchen to find his mother sipping a cup of tea. His father nowhere to be found.
"Welcome home, Mother," Jesse said as he dropped his backpack and ran to her with his arms open wide.
"Don't throw your things on the floor, Jesse. We aren't trash. Pick it up and put it away where it belongs," she said ignoring the hug he so desperately wanted.
"Yes ma'am," he said as he dropped his arms and walked over to pick his bag up again. "Where's Father? I made him something today. Well, actually, it's for both of you."
"He's in the study. Don't bother him. He's busy," she said flipping the page of her magazine.
Jesse sighed as he walked dejectedly up to his room to put his things away. He unzipped his backpack and took out the picture he had made and laid it nicely on the dresser. He would show them at dinner. Once he changed into his afterschool clothes, he went to the bedroom next to his. He knocked gently before pushing open the door.
"There's my Broadway star."
"Hi Maw Maw," he said climbing into her open arms.
She always gave Jesse hugs. He loved curling into her warm embrace and smelling the floral soap she always bathed with.
"How was school?" she asked kissing the top of his head.
"It was good. I made Mother and Father a picture today. I can't wait for them to see it," he said with an excitement that broke the old woman's heart.
Her son and daughter-in-law where the coldest people she knew. They paid no attention to their son, made him behave as though he were an adult and not a child. They mocked his love for singing and dancing. They left him for weeks and months at a time, leaving him to care for himself when she was too ill to help. She wished she were well enough to take him away from this life, but sadly, her health was declining each year, leaving her at the mercy of her horrendous son and his deplorable wife.
"I'm sure they will love it," she replied.
She hoped for once they would feign interest in their child. But as usual, that was too much to ask. Just as they finished dinner, Jesse, with permission to leave the table, ran to his room and returned beaming with a picture in his little hands.
"I made this for you," he said handing the picture to his father who looked annoyed by the very idea.
Richard stared at the picture before looking back at Jesse questioningly.
"What is it?" he asked.
"It's a picture of you and Mother and me. We are at the park together and I wrote welcome back all by myself," he said proudly.
"Your handwriting is atrocious. Look at this Diana. We may need to put him in special ed or something," he said handing the picture to his wife who barely glanced at it before shoving it back to Richard.
"You don't like it?" Jesse said as his blue eyes began to water.
"Now what have I told you about that crying bullshit," his father snapped as he slapped Jesse hard across the side of his head. "Men don't cry. There will be none of that. Get yourself together and go cleanup for bed."
"Yes, sir," Jesse said biting back the tears that threatened to spill.
As he left the room, he glanced back to see his father crumble his picture into a ball and throw it in to the trashcan.
(xxxxx)
Nine-year-old Jesse hurried up the stairs, excited to share the news with Maw Maw. Throwing his backpack into his room, he bolted to her room and smiled when he saw the 40-something black woman sitting next to his grandmother's bed with a book in her hand.
"Hi Ms. Cassy," he said running over to give the woman a hug.
"Hey sugar, what's all the energy today?" she said giving him a big, wet kiss on the cheek.
Jesse wiped it with his shoulder, casually as usual, before leaning over to give his Maw Maw a gentle kiss. Her health had been rapidly declining in the last few months, so his father hired two nurses who alternated days to care for her. Cassandra Jones was his favorite. She always had funny stories to share about her and her brothers. She had 7 brothers. Jesse wished he had a brother or a sister. Especially when listening to Cassy's stories.
"I got picked for the talent show!" he said with a big, proud grin on his face.
"Well, of course you did," Cassy said happily. "With a voice like that, they would be crazy to turn you away."
"I wish you could come see it," he said with a frown. "You too Maw Maw."
Maw Maw wasn't talking much these days, but he could tell with the looks she would give whether she was listening or not. Currently her eyes sparkled as a small smile stretched across her lips.
"Well, depending on whether or not I'm on duty that day, you know I'll be there if I can," Cassy stated. "And I'll sneak a video to show Maw Maw."
"You're the best," Jesse said diving into her arms again.
If it was legal, Cassy would adopt Jesse as her own. She loved the little boy, and it angered her to no end how terrible he was treated. Sure, he had a house full of toys and electronics, but it meant nothing since he had no one to play with. His parents wouldn't even allow him to have other kids over the house. Kids are disgusting and don't belong in mansions. They belong in zoos was their motto.
"Do you want me to sing the song I auditioned with?" Jesse asked.
"Absolutely! I can't believe you made us wait this long," she teased making Jesse giggle.
"Ok, wait here, I have to get my cd player," he said as he ran from the room.
A few minutes later, he was back and standing at the foot of Maw Maw's bed posed like he was on an actual stage about to perform. As the music began to play, he started dancing a perfectly choreographed dance, before belting out Want You Back as if he were a little Michael Jackson. Cassy moved to the beat of the music from her chair as Maw Maw's hand weakly tapped the comforter covering her.
Suddenly, the music stopped causing Jesse's head to snap toward the door. Glaring at him as though he'd just caught Jesse doing something horrific was his father, Richard. Jesse's face paled instantly as he stared terrified as his father.
"What the hell is going on in here?" he said looking from Jesse to Cassy and back.
"I ... I ... I was ..." Jesse stuttered.
"It was my fault sir. I thought Jesse singing for Eleanor might be good for her. Music is very powerful in healing," Cassandra said.
"Oh really? So, when you get the flu, I should just sing a song rather than take medicine? Does it cure cancer? Does it revive people having heart attacks?" he asked with a snarky tone.
Cassandra had to bite back her retort.
"Jesse, leave your grandmother alone. She doesn't need you in here pestering her," Richard stated.
"I beg your pardon, sir, but his presence is actually great for Eleanor. She adores him and -"
"Did I ask for you to speak?" Richard interrupted.
"No, sir," Cassandra replied as pushed down all the hate she wanted to spew.
"Jesse, go to your room and do your homework and no dessert tonight. I've told you before about this singing nonsense. I won't have my son dancing around on stage like some fairy," he said as he scooped up the cd player to take with him.
"Yes, sir," Jesse replied before leaving the room with his head down.
(xxxxx)
He knew the day would come. It was something he tried not to acknowledge as though that would help slow down time, but it didn't. At 11-years-old Jesse was wise beyond his years to the harsh realities of life. He was woken by Cassy. He knew instantly by the expression on her face why she woke him. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was just shy of 6am. His mother was on the phone with someone crying those fake tears she shed when she wanted attention. His father stood stone-faced in the hallway watching his son slowly make his way into the bedroom.
Jesse carefully climbed onto the bed to sit next to his dying grandmother. Her skin was so pale she was almost white. Her breathing was shallow, signifying the final struggles before her lungs and heart gave out on her completely. He grabbed her cold, boney hand between his, fighting to keep control of his emotions.
"Jesse?" his Maw Maw barely whispered.
"I'm right here," he said pressing a kiss to her hand.
"Never stop singing," she mumbled through her raspy breaths. "You ... are ... a star. My ... star."
As much as Jesse tried not to cry, a tear slipped down his cheek. He quickly brushed it away so his father wouldn't see.
"I promise," he whispered as his lip trembled. "I love you."
"Love ... you."
A few more ragged breaths escaped her before it was over. He didn't want to let go. He held tightly to her hand, wanting to bury himself against her chest as he had done so many times as a child.
"Alright, son. That's enough. She's gone," his father said matter-of-factly.
Jesse climbed off the bed and pushed his way past his father, anger searing through his veins. Not knowing how else to deal with his emotions he began lashing out at anything within reach. He threw his lamp to the floor, the glass instantly shattering. He kicked his closet door until the wood splintered and a hole appeared. He was just about to throw his desk chair at the window when someone came up behind him grabbing his wrist. Jesse spun around, eyes wide with rage, to see his father staring back at him.
"That's enough," he said in an oddly soft voice.
This broke something in Jesse. To his embarrassment and frustration, he began sobbing. He kept waiting for his father to hit him. To tell him to stop crying. Instead, his father just stood there with a look Jesse had never seen on him before. With a gentle pat to Jesse's shoulder, his father turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.
The rise of the sun was the final peace that had been chipped away. Jesse's mother informed him that they no longer needed Cassy. This should have been obvious, but after losing Maw Maw, losing Cassy was too unbearable for his young mind to handle. He begged his mother to let her stay, but in the end, she wasn't a babysitter, she was nurse. It was time for her to go help someone else.
As Cassy wrapped her arms around Jesse, she whispered into his ear.
"I've hidden a few items your Maw Maw would want you to have under your bed. Don't let your parents find it. My phone number is in there as well. If you ever need me Jesse, you call me anytime and I will be there. Do you understand?"
Jesse nodded as Cassy gave him a kiss on his cheek. This time, he didn’t wipe it away.
"I look forward to seeing you on Broadway someday," she whispered before turning and walking out of his life.
That was the day Jesse St. James changed. No longer the sweet, doe-eyed little boy. He was now an angry, cynical, hardened child. A fence was built around his stone-heart. No one would ever get close enough to hurt him ever again.