Work Text:
-- S.T.A.R.S +claire (Sexiest Team Americas eveR Seen) --
jillsandwich
anyone see the rookie earlier
christmastree
theres a rookie?? since when
betterredfield
chris even i knew this
christmastree
YOU DONT EVEN WORK HERE
betterredfield
EXACTLY
jillsandwich
hes hot too, go see hes at the front desk
christmastree
holy shit youre right
betterredfield
HAH gay
christmastree
says you
betterredfield
homophobe??
christmastree
wtf
bossman
get back to work or i swear im firing you all
christmastree
thats not fair claire doesnt even work here and she started it
jillsandwich
technically i started it
christmastree
jill youre meant to be on my side :(
jillsandwich
since when am i ever on your side
christmastree
fair
jillsandwich
can wesker even fire us?
bossman
you wanna find out?
jillsandwich
nope
bossman
thought so
christmastree
that was actually hell
jillsandwich
drama queen
christmastree
no seriously i dont think ive seen that much paperwork in my life
jillsandwich
calm your tits
e=mcscared
what??
betterredfield
oh thats goregous im so stealing that
jillsandwich
my insult :(
betterredfield
mine now
christmastree
GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP
jillsandwich
what now
christmastree
DIRECTLY INFRONT OF US
betterredfield
theres a bitch near my motorcycle
christmastree
yes but look at WHICH bitch
betterredfield
im so lost
jillsandwich
HOLY SHIT THATS THE ROOKIE
e=mcscared
theres a rookie?
christmastree
HAHA see im not the only one
jillsandwich
she technically also doesnt work here, she has an excuse
christmastree
shes here more than claire
jillsandwich
claires here more than you dont lie
christmastree
no she isnt
betterredfield
guys the rookies leaving
jillsandwich
chris go get your man!!
christmastree
i hate you
not joking
jillsandwich
you love me
and the rookie now go
christmastree
im not even gay??
betterredfield
you had a crush on harrison ford when you were like 10
christmastree
how do you know that you were 4
betterredfield
BECAUSE YOU NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT FOR LIKE 2 YEARS??
jillsandwich
AS MUCH AS I LOVE WATCHING CHRIS GET EXPOSED
the rookie is almost gone CHRIS GO
christmastree
i hate you both fine
betterredfield
this is so fun
jillsandwich
look at him hes so awkward
e=mcscared
i wish i was with you guys rn
jillsandwich
this isnt pretty but god is it funny
betterredfield
oh shit did he get his number??
jillsandwich
CHRIS HAS RIZZ?
betterredfield
no way, he probably said it was for work or some shit
e=mcscared
ok wait, exactly how hot is this rookie
betterredfield
becca, you're married (insanely hot)
e=mcscared
billy doesn't have to know (hotter than the last new guy?)
betterredfield
consider me shocked (WAY hotter)
jillsandwich
is he hotter than billy though?
e=mcscared
nobody is hotter than billy :)
jillsandwich
ew, happy couples
betterredfield
hes like billy but if he was 10x more pathetic
jillsandwich
he 100% listens to mcr
e=mcscared
how tall is he
betterredfield
id guess like 5'10 ish
oldassman
What's going on?
betterredfield
BARRY
jillsandwich
DAD
oldassman
Jill, I'm not your dad
jillsandwich
let me deal with my own issues, until then you're my dad
betterredfield
does that make him my dad by proxy?
jillsandwich
no get your own dad
oldassman
I'm nobody's dad!
betterredfield
ooh whose telling moira
jillsandwich
not me, already had to do that enough times
e=mcscared
not me, i dont know her well enough
betterredfield
well make chris do it
jillsandwich
works for me
oldassman
For the love of god that's not what I meant
betterredfield
ooooh you made dad mad
jillsandwich
my dad, not yours
e=mcscared
is he my dad?
jillsandwich
obviously, you were in stars
betterredfield
but chris was in stars and we have the same dad
jillsandwich
oh good point
betterredfield
so..??
jillsandwich
you can be his adopted daughter
betterredfield
what im not adopted
jillsandwich
no but chris is
betterredfield
ohhh fair
oldassman
Are you done?
jillsandwich
shut up old man
oldassman
Hey, don't speak to your father that way.
jillsandwich
SO YOU ARE MY DAD
christmastree
GUYS
betterredfield
go away chris we're talking to our dad
christmastree
THIS IS IMPORTANT
betterredfield
what
christmastree
GUESS WHOSE NUMBER I GOT
e=mcscared
no way
oldassman
Wait, who's number?
jillsandwich
the rookie :)
oldassman
Chris is gay?
christmastree
IM NOT GAY
betterredfield
mhm sure youre not
e=mcscared
add him to the group!
jillsandwich
dont add the rookie he isn't stars
christmastree
alright fine
christmastree changed the group name to RPD (really pretty dicks)
jillsandwich
chris no
jillsandwich changed the group name to sexy police officers
christmastree
fine
christmastree added Unknown Number
Unknown Number
uhh hi?
jillsandwich
HELLO
betterredfield
holy shit
christmastree
hey leon :)
Unknown Number
oh hey chris :)
jillsandwich
iii see spaaarks fly
christmastree
jill stop quoting taylor swift
jillsandwich
whenever youu smile
Unknown Number
get me with those green eyes baby
jillsandwich
AS THE LIGHT GO DOWN??
Unknown Number
GIMME SOMETHING THATLL HAUNT ME WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND
jillsandwich
CAUSE I SEE SPARKS FLY
Unknown Number
WHENEVER YOUUUU SMILE
christmastree
oh my god theres 2 of them
jillsandwich changed Unknown Number's nickname to favouriterookie
jillsandwich
wait wait wait, do introductions so the rookie knows who we are
favouriterookie
do i have to be called rookie??
jillsandwich
yes.
favouriterookie
mhm ok
christmastree
ok im starting
hi im chris im 25 and i hate everyone here
jillsandwich
chris thats such a bad introduction
christmastree
ALRIGHT YOU TRY
jillsandwich
HI im jill im 23 im a lesbian pronouns are she/her and i like taylor swift clearly
christmastree
you're so lame
fine im straight pronouns he/him
betterredfield
no he isn't
christmastree
claire istg
betterredfield
hes in denial
christmastree
NO IM NOT
betteredfield
dont bother lying
christmastree
IM NOT LYING??
betterredfield
whatup im claire im 19 and i never fuckin learned how to read
favouriterookie
jesus christ
betterredfield
WHAT it was so perfect :(
anyway im also a lesbian pronouns she/her
e=mcscared
hi! im rebecca im 22 straight and married :) pronouns she/her
jillsandwich
there's also barry, wesker and brad they're all straight he/him im pretty sure
OH barry and wesker are both 38 and brad is 35
favouriterookie
sounds fun?
jillsandwich
wesker is the big boss man, brad is a wuss (sorry brad) and barry is our dad
favouriterookie
oh, nice
should i do mine orr?
betterredfield
yes hurry
favouriterookie
oh ok, uhh im leon? im 22 bisexual he/him
christmastree
oh cool
betterredfield
hes so gay panicking rn
jillsandwich
can confirm
christmastree
go away im not im completely fine
favouriterookie
can i change my name now
jillsandwich
i have an idea
jillsandwich changed christmastree's nickname to dumbass1
jillsandwich changed favouriterookie's nickname to dumbass2
dumbass1
im actually rioting
dumbass2
well this is something
dumbass1
@bossman
come online please
bossman
what do you want
dumbass1
can you fire jill please
bossman
no
dumbass1
shes the one who put that speaker in your office that you couldnt find for 4 days
bossman
jill
jillsandwich
CHRIS
bossman
when you get to work tomorrow come straight to my office
dumbass1
HA
jillsandwich
chris i swear to god if you got me fired
dumbass2
im sorry jill did WHAT
jillsandwich
IT WAS ON APRIL FOOLS
bossman
jill do you know how many hours i wasted looking for that speaker
dumbass2
wait, i have one question
jillsandwich
mhm..
dumbass2
what was it playing?
jillsandwich
....
california girls..
dumbass2
oh im gonna love it here