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Ena Shinonome wasn’t used to caring. But when she was a naive little girl, she was sweet. Her actions showed she “cared”. Her interests showed she “cared”. But as she grew older, the feeling of “caring” grew out with her.
She actively avoided it.
It would only cause her more pain than she was willing to bear.
That’s why this was strange. That’s why she was strange. Mafuyu Asahina. Ena had felt neutral towards her at first. She felt angry after learning she was OWN. But now? Now she felt herself caring again. She cared for this cold girl, and it frustrated her.
Why Mafuyu Asahina out of all people? She must be cursed. But all of that didn’t matter right now, it couldn’t matter right now. Because at this very moment, Mafuyu Asahina was shaking in Ena’s arms.
It was silent. She could hear the water running throughout the house. The pipes creaked, little splashes formed from water droplets. Like leftover liquid from dipping a brush into water color.
Ena finally decided to say something, she figured they’ve been in silence long enough.
“Mafuyu? What’s wrong?”
She sniffles. She must be getting Ena’s newly cleaned uniform dirty again. So dirty.
“Nothing.”
Ena would be dramatically raising an eyebrow in disbelief if Mafuyu could see her right now. What a pile of bull.
“I really don’t believe you.”
“And how is that my problem?” Ah, at least Mafuyu felt like she could be her real, blunt self around Ena right now. It was a much worse sign when the facade wouldn’t fall.
“Well, it’s really more of my problem. If I don’t know what’s wrong with you, I can’t do anything about it.” She buries her face deeper into her shoulder.
“I don’t care.”
A huge part of why Mafuyu could so effortlessly get under Ena’s skin, was because she reminded Ena of herself. They were both the same awful kind, weren’t they.
She decides to swallow up her pride and denial.
She says it,
“I care about you, though.”
A pause.
“And, I can’t just ignore it when some girl is sobbing her literal guts out on me. In my house. On my bed. You get it now?”
“Oh…” Ena rolls her eyes,
“Yeah, ‘oh’.” Mafuyu changes positions slightly, instead of burying herself, she simply leans her head on the others’ shoulder.
“I messed up.” This could mean a variety of things, but Ena knew where it was all going to connect to eventually. To her mother. That wicked bitch.
“On what?” She asked softly, unlike her usual naturally demanding tone.
“My scores are dropping. Badly.” She inhales. It’s a curse.
I’ve done everything I can think of. Extra-credit work, sucking up to the teacher’s more than usual, endless studying. It isn’t enough. Ena, I’m not enough. Not even as the ideal daughter, as ‘Asahina Mafuyu’. I’m not.”
She’s crying again. Strangely, Ena is crying too.
She quickly wipes it off.
“I can’t do anything. Ena, my chest hurts. Mother will hate me. She’s right for hating me, I took her love for granted. She cares for me so deeply.”
The degree of Mafuyu’s attachment to her mother made Ena want to flinch. Run away, even. Ena knew she was powerless in that area, too. She couldn’t undo all of those years of calculated manipulation with just a few pretty words. That didn’t mean Ena couldn’t try to help her take a step in that direction, though.
“Mafuyu. You aren’t a failure, and you don’t deserve to be hated.” In a rush to object, Mafuyu yells out,
“Why!? How could you say that!? How could you lie to me so easily…” Her chest felt strange again. Awful.
“Yuki.” The use of her online name surprised her.
“I don’t lie about these things. If I despised you, I’d be agreeing right now. But I genuinely believe you aren’t all of those shitty things you listed. I wouldn’t let someone like that so close to me.”
“Your ‘failures’ are irrelevant. Failing is something so fucking human, and so, so fucking normal. You know I do it with my art all the time.”
Mafuyu raises her head,
“But-”
“Yes, I know. It’s ‘different’ right?”
She nods.
“Why is it different?”
“Mafuyu Asahina is supposed to be perfect. Her mother raised her like that. She deserves punishment for not achieving her purpose.”
Ena’s resolve to prove her wrong remained, but every corrupted word Mafuyu spit out, had her wanting to wail like a child. Just how long has Mafuyu been conditioned to think this way?
“Does Mafuyu Asahina really want that?”
She looks like someone just ripped her gut out.
“She…She doesn’t know. But, it doesn’t matter! Her mother-”
Ena abruptly stands up.
“Respectfully, fuck her mother! She doesn’t care for Mafuyu, else she wouldn’t be putting her through so much pain!”
Mafuyu doesn’t say anything back. She knows Ena will be appalled by any comments of praise regarding Mafuyu’s mother.
The artist kneels down in front of her, placing her rough hands on Mafuyu’s knees. Eyes piercing through her soul.
“Mafuyu Asahina is enough.”
What?
Another feeling she was confused by, blossomed in her.
She doesn’t know if she likes it.
“And, well, I like Mafuyu just fine! She can be rude, dense, and straight-up mean sometimes, but that’s just Mafuyu!”
She huffs playfully,
“I have high-standards, so don’t take this all lightly, okay!?”
Mafuyu nods, the sides of her mouth curling up, just slightly.
“Can I hug Mafuyu?”
Another nod. She rather likes that she doesn’t have to speak much when it comes to Ena.
She holds her, wishing that her feelings will reach Mafuyu. Just a little piece of them would do. She swears.
“Mafuyu?”
“Mhm?”
“Let’s run away from everything.”
“Everything?”
“Mhm. From classmates that don’t understand, from unrealistic expectations, and from stupid adults that look down on us just trying our fucking hardest.”
“That sounds nice.” Ena giggles,
“Doesn’t it? Ah, too bad it isn’t easier…”
Mafuyu hopes…
No, maybe hope is too generous of a word for someone like her.
“But, maybe…”
“Huh? Maybe what, Mafuyu?”
She holds Ena tighter,
“Maybe one day we’ll be free.”
Ena smiles, too giddy to reply initially.
Now she’s the one burying her face in someone’s neck.
“Yeah, maybe.”
The stars look after lost children.
Maybe your “care” will grant your wish one day.
Yes.
The sky thinks it will.