Work Text:
I’m Not Nobody’s Househusband (Oh But You Are)!
Craig Tucker looks at his watch. It was a quarter to eleven. He bit his lip and continued to relax on the couch, a cheap glass of wine in his hand. Surely they made enough money for more expensive wine, but Craig didn’t like to indulge in more expensive tastes.
He came from humble beginnings, as did Tweek, but Tweek was more adjusted to their richer lifestyle effortlessly. With their house, the way their kids dressed, it was obvious Tweek wanted to spoil everyone.
Craig put a hand on his stomach and quickly recalled the reason why he hadn’t drink on an empty stomach. He usually waited for Tweek to come home so they could eat dinner together, but Tweek’s late night comings were making this hard. He stuck true to what he said and waited, however. He put the wine down on the table and sat back.
Finally, the door opened and Craig looks up and sees the love of his life standing there, looking absolutely exhausted and wrecked. He put his briefcase down and sat in his chair, looking ready to fall the fuck asleep. Craig approached him gingerly and shook him.
Tweek groans and looks up at him. He blinked and then realized who had touched him. He smiles and hugs Craig close. “Hi honey.” He says softly as he hugs the man close to his chest.
“Hi.” Craig says softly and looks at Tweek. He sighs and says, “You look tired. Do you want me to put dinner up and we can eat it later?”
“Nah. I’m hungry as fuck Craig.” Tweek says and gets up. “Moment of weakness with me lying down. I’m fine.” Tweek goes to the kitchen and gets his plate out of the microwave.
Craig watches him and sighs lovingly. He gets his plate out of the oven and sits down next to Tweek. He begins eating with Tweek and the two had a small talk about the kids, about Tweek’s company, about medication and the stupid ass cost of it. They could certainly afford it, but it was still stupidly expensive.
“Uhhh. The reboot of red racer is coming to an end soon,” Craig says nonchalantly as Tweek chews on his macaroni. Tweek puts a single finger up, signalling he wanted to say something but needed to swallow first. He swallowed five seconds later and looked at Craig.
“The reboot was shit Craig.” Tweek says smugly and crosses his arms.
“No, it wasn’t!! It was just a little… weird, but it’s good,” Craig counters.
“13 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.” Tweek says, rolling his eyes.
“Critics are known to suck ass,” Craig says in response, putting his fork down.
“Oh, sure.” Tweek says tauntingly, with a hint of love still in his voice.
“Oh, shut up,” Craig says and clears his throat. “So uh… I went through our statements last month. Why… why did you spend two hundred dollars on a crystal?”
“Because… crystals have a meaning. Spiritual meaning, you know.” Tweek says matter-of-factly. “It’s a way to get luck and that good shit. You wouldn’t know because you frown upon it.”
“Tweek… honey.” Craig sighs, sounding exasperated. “It’s just a fake crystal. You already have good luck. Me.”
“Craig, last time I counted on you for good luck, our bed fell through the ceiling in our old house.”
“That was four years ago.”
“And?”
Before Tweek’s company took off, the two of them lived in a much more simple house with a much more simple lifestyle.
Craig sometimes wished they could go back to those humble beginnings.
Craig scratched his stubble and pointed his fork at Tweek. “You’re lucky I love you or I’d hide all those fucking crystals, and we’d fight over it.”
“I’d win that fight, you fucking loser.” Tweek says.
“Tweek honey, all you do is come home and eat and fall asleep. I go to the gym.”
“I take boxing lessons.”
“You took boxing lessons. As a kid. Which, need I remind you, was a long time ago.”
Tweek sticks his tongue out and polishes off the rest of his plate. He puts it in the sink and actually, for once, began washing the dishes.
Craig finished eating and went to help him, washing his side of the dishes along with Tweek. There was a bit of a comfortable silence, which Tweek remedied by saying,
“You should really start annoying me at work. Like… dick pics or something.”
Craig nearly chokes on his own fucking saliva and looks at Tweek. “What the hell?”
“I’m bored in all those meetings, Craig. My employees tell me the dumbest shit and try to come up with excuses for why it exists. If you sent me a dick pic, I’d be way less bothered.”
Craig rubs the back of his neck. Tweek looks at him expectantly.
“Well Tweek… how am I going to send a fucking dick pic when I’m busy with your children and running errands and keeping up with our financial reports?”
“Send me one when you wake up. You sleep like the fucking dead, by the way. And it’s our children. It takes two to tango, dumbass.”
“Dumbass is fucking INSANE for someone who spent over 200 dollars on a fucking fake crystal you could’ve got on eBay for ten dollars.”
“Shut up.” Tweek says softly and then looks at Craig. His expression is one of bliss and happiness.
The two finish up the dishes and head to their bedroom.
Tweek goes to the shower and quickly takes one. He knew Craig would get him dirty again, not that he minded, but he liked being clean for Craig.
He hopped out of the shower wearing the skimpiest nightwear he had and sashayed as he walked out of the shower. He dropped his clothes on the floor and posed in the bathroom doorway as Craig looked down.
“Put your clothes in the laundry basket.” Craig said as he flipped through different shows on their Netflix catalog.
Tweek scoffs and puts his clothes up and glares at Craig. “Asshole look at me,” He demands.
“I’m picking a movie,” Craig simply says and then adds, “Are you in the mood for romance?”
“Yes. Love making preferably.”
Craig looks him dead on and says, “Most theatrical movies do not feature hardcore porn. It’s more soft core. Because of the ratings and NC-17 and that shit. Which, hence, is why-“
“Shut up, NERD.” Tweek climbs on top of him and grinds down. He hears Craig and feels that he’s hard. He smirks and kisses him.
Craig returns the kiss, however, when Tweek breaks the kiss he sees that Craig’s eyes are open and Craig is definitely still picking a fucking movie as though his hot ass husband wasn’t in front of him wanting a good dicking-down.
Tweek scoffs and grabs the remote from him. Craig lazily tries to reach for it back, but Tweek holds it above his head. Which wasn’t the smartest idea. Craig was taller than him.
Craig grabbed the remote back and sighs. “Netflix hasn’t had anything good since fucking Stranger Things came out.”
“What about uh…” Tweek agreed. He just wanted to argue with Craig. Jokingly.
“Can’t even think of anything, you dumbass.”
“Oh, shut up. Put the remote down and focus on me, baby.” Tweek says.
Craig looks down at his Apple Watch and clucks his tongue. “Hey, I closed all my rings today.”
“Oh, did you? Maybe you can work your birthday cake off.”
“Shut. Up.” Craig says and lays back. “Besides, you’re the chubbier one.”
“What? Says the one who doesn’t work at all. And hasn’t in two years.” Tweek says. “At least I’m working!”
Craig’s eyes darkened a shade, and he looks down. Tweek than realizes. There was a reason why Craig had stopped working. A traumatic experience and injury that had left Craig empty. And to add insult to injury, it had been Tweek who said Craig should stay home for a while.
Tweek sighs and strokes Craig’s chin. “I’m sorry, baby. I… I didn’t mean it like that. I know… I know what you went through was awful. I’m sorry.” He kissed Craig’s cheek.
Craig says nothing for a second before smirking at Tweek, though the pain wasn’t fully gone from his eyes. “It’s fine, honey. So… romance or angst?” He didn’t want to have that conversation, understandably. But his tone made it obvious he wasn’t holding a grudge against Tweek.
“You’re an asshole.” Tweek says but was comfortable with the topic change and has now accepted the fact that Craig obviously didn’t want to have sex tonight. He lays back and relaxes on Craig’s chest.
Craig then does something Tweek was not expecting. He puts a hand on Tweek’s ass and squeezes hard. Tweek groans and looks at him, eyes widened.
“Craig honey…” he says, biting his lip.
“Be quiet unless you’re fucking moaning my name.” Craig says and kisses his neck.
Shit. He loved when Craig talked to him in that tone. He went quiet and looked at Craig with big eyes.
Craig kisses and sucks on his neck lightly, to which Tweek moans softly. He bucks his hips up, wanting Craig to touch him more.
Craig obliges and reaches between his legs and feels how wet Tweek is. He takes a deep breath and smiles. “Goddamn all this to me?”
“Shut up, man. Just get on with it before I beat your fucking a-“
“Tweek. Honey. Yet again. Not going to happen. I could beat you in a fight. Who goes to the gym regularly?”
“You only go because I asked.” Tweek points out, moving closer so Craig’s fingers weren’t just grazing.
“No, I went because you neglected our gym membership for literal months.”
“Fuck you.” Tweek says, glaring.
“Yeah, I’m fucking you,” Craig says and kisses him again.
“Mmmm.” Tweek moans into the kiss as Craig inserted a finger inside. He bucks his hips down again, trying to get more of Craig inside.
Craig fingers him with a single finger, listening to Tweek’s moans and gasps. His little breaths of “oh god” and “please” were definitely making Craig even harder against his thigh.
Craig adds a second finger. He lets out a quiet “a-ha” when Tweek makes a particularly loud moan, signalling he found Tweek’s sweet spot. He continues this slow, agonizing yet sweet pace. Tweek wants it hard. He wants it like he’s a laid down whore getting fucked by someone cheating on their significant other.
Well, that scenario was oddly specific, but alas. He moved his body closer. Craig continues this and Tweek realizes he’s close to cumming. He moans softly and his toes curl. Craig kisses him and Tweek is so close when-
Craig pulls his fingers out and sucks the taste off of them. Tweek stares at him not believing what the fuck Craig just did.
Craig smirks and looks at him. “That’s for saying red racer sucks ass.” He says matter-of-factly.
Tweek whines and grabs Craig’s arm. He realized that Craig was right; his arm was more muscle than usual.
Tweek strokes his arm. Craig’s smirk got even bigger.
“Like my muscles?” He asks.
Tweek rolls his eyes. “No, you ass. Not even that big.”
“You say that about my dick yet you still moan.”
“When did I ever say that?”
“Literally yesterday.”
Tweek rolls his eyes and crosses his legs. “Obviously your dick isn’t small Craig.”
“Mhm.” Craig says and uses his knee to separate Tweek’s legs.
Tweek hums and leans back. “Fuck Craig…” he moans as Craig slid in. He felt so fucking full whenever Craig fucked him.
Craig smirks and lightly touches the belly bulge on Tweek’s soft stomach. Tweek moans as he touched it.
Tweek then decided to try something he knew would turn Craig on. “You know… the men at my office always talk about fucking me and taking me to town… do you think- SHIT!” He said and moaned as Craig thrust hard.
Moans and soft pleas slipped out of his mouth as Craig fucked him. One of his legs was lifted by Craig’s strong grip. A loud moan escaped his throat as Craig fucked into his sweet spot.
“Don’t you fucking dare talk about those assholes. Only I can fuck you like this.” Craig groans and thrusts even harder.
“Craig!” Slips out of his mouth and he arches his back as Craig slides a pillow underneath. Craig grabs his throat and squeezes lightly, which makes Tweek moan even louder.
“Please… please…” he moans drooling on the sheets. Craig grips his thigh even harder. He grunts, eyes closing as the two of them made love. The sounds echoed in the bedroom and Tweek arched his back and gasped as his orgasm came over him. His toes curled, and he bit his lip, body pale against the red sheets.
Craig whimpered as he neared orgasm, and the sound made Tweek want to get on top of him and ride him. Craig whimpered softly as he came. Tweek groans and kisses him softly.
Craig slipped out of Tweek and collapsed in bed next to him. Tweek kisses his jawline and smiles lazily at him.
“You did great Craig… my cute little househusband…” he said softly.
That’s when Craig said:
“I might be your househusband, but you’re my needy little whore Tweek.”
Tweek nearly choked. Not that Craig was lying.
Definitely was not.