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Astarion smiled softly over to where his new lovers sat. They were an odd pair. Valrakas and Kernos had been together for so many years now, longer than he had been alive, in fact; yet, for some strange reason they had decided to add him to their trysts together. The first being at the party they had thrown after freeing the tieflings. Granted he was somewhat accustomed to this. It wouldn’t be the first time a married couple came to him to spice up their love life. Though, from what he had heard, even before the party, the two had no need to spice up anything, but who was he to judge, especially when it got him what he needed.
They were currently enjoying supper, laughing together. They had offered him to sit with them, but he had declined. They had already been too nice, and he did not want to raise his debt to them any higher. Between the kind words and soft touches, he was already racking up quite the tally. Besides, Kernos had already agreed to allow him to feed on him tonight. He would have to make sure to prepare to give them their due afterwards.
It was only until much later and most had gone to bed that Astarion slipped a short distance away from camp. He quickly set to cleaning himself out. Once he deemed himself clean enough, he reached behind himself, slipping a finger gently in. He bit his lip. He pushed two fingers in probably a little earlier than he should have, feeling an unpleasant burn and stretch, but he wanted to be done before his visitors arrived, it wouldn’t do to make them wait. He had no idea how they would respond to that, and he was honestly a bit worried to find out, none had reacted well in the past to having to wait for him.
He nodded after he could comfortably fit two. It wasn’t really enough prep, he knew. Kernos was a fairly substantial size and while Valrakas was smaller, he made up for it with the ridges and bumps that he adorned. It would probably be slightly painful taking either of them, even worse if they both decided to have him at the same time, but he was also aware that he couldn’t allow himself to be any more loose, knowing that such privileges were often a reward that he had definitely not earned tonight.
Sure, they had been sweet and loving the first time, making sure he was plenty loose, and nothing was painful, but he also was aware that was often just a game for most. Allowing him to think them kind, so he wouldn’t expect their cruelty the next time. It always hurt worse when unexpected, something so many of Cazador’s friends often relished in.
He quickly shook himself from his thoughts. He could dally no longer. He made sure not to wake anyone up as he slipped back into his tent, noting that the pair was still awake, if the light coming from their tent was anything to go by.
He made sure the lighting in his tent was adequate before stripping and lying down on his bedroll. He ensured to move his favorite blanket far enough away so that the activities of the night would not tarnish it anymore than it already has been in the past.
He laid down, spreading his legs with his hips canted slightly to the side so that they could readily see and have full access to him the moment they entered his tent. It was a familiar position, something he could do in his sleep. Now, he only had to wait.
And wait he did, for an hour. Then two hours. And so on and so forth. Until he could hear birds chirping, and the dawn rising outside of his tent.
His brows furrowed as he heard the rest of the camp start to stir. Surely, he hadn’t missed their arrival. He had not allowed himself to fall into his slumber like trance. Perhaps, he had underestimated them. Perhaps they were more akin to Cazador’s more cruel friends, who would make him wait a few visits, ensuring that he couldn’t guess when they would strike. He didn’t particularly find them to be that cruel, but he had misjudged before and paid dearly for it. He would not make that mistake again.
Therefore, he went about the rest of his day, acting like nothing was wrong as he silently stewed over if they would visit him tonight or if they wished to draw it out further to where he would actually welcome what they would do to him when they finally came.
When they returned back to their camp, he was exhausted. They had fought a group of gnolls and some people that were hunting their newfound companion. Karlach seemed nice enough. Though, he still wouldn’t trust her quite yet. Something that was not shared with the married couple that wouldn’t seem to let him be.
They immediately invited her back to their camp and their little party. He wasn’t overly certain it was wise, but he knew he had no say in the matter. It would be best not to earn their ire anyways. Though, he would almost welcome it if it meant they stopped their goddamned hovering. They were always checking in with him, making sure he was alright and if he needed to rest given he seemed tired. The last bit seeming only slightly cruel to him given they were the reason he was so tired, but he bit his tongue from saying anything only giving them answers they would no doubt want to hear before moving on.
This time it was Val that approached and offered to feed him. Apparently he and Ker had decided they would rotate in feeding him. Val would take tonight and Ker the next and continue on in the same manner. It appears they intended him to remain indebted to them indefinitely. While he was loathed to be forced once again into yet another never-ending cycle of repayment, he didn’t really have a leg to stand on. If their little party were to continue as they had been so far, he would need the extra strength the two’s blood would provide.
He would endure. He had gone through this once before. He could face it again, surely. At least, that’s what he had thought. But after yet another night of tortuously waiting for them to appear only for the rising sun to greet him once again, he wasn’t sure how many more nights of this he could take.
And then it hit him. Maybe he was simply not doing it right. Some of the guests he entertained for Cazador preferred him to be taken off guard by coming to him and taking him while he was in one of his trances brought on by exhaustion. Maybe just maybe if he pretended to be ‘asleep’ for them, then they would take what he owed them.
He was quicker this time when preparing himself. If they wanted him to be in his trance surely that meant that they wanted as little preparation as possible. When he laid down on his bedroll this time, he made his position much more natural looking, though he did keep his legs slightly spread still, as was expected of him. He had his arms by his sides and fingers curled into circles as he did every night while going into his sleep like meditation, trying to make it look more believable for his guests.
However, he was once again disappointed as he laid in wait for yet another full night, only opening his eyes when hearing the accursed birds again. He swore as he got up and got dressed for the day.
He couldn’t help but be slightly snappy with the couple as the day wore on and his exhaustion made itself more prevalent, especially when they pretended to be worried about his lack of sleep. He nearly wanted to scream at them that they should get it over with then, but he restrained himself. It was already going to be bad enough when they actually did get on with it, after waiting so many nights. He wasn’t so prideful to invite so much more pain by making it worse. Plus, he did not miss the way Ker would give him hurt looks at some of his more cutting words, nor the way Val would shoot a disapproving look his way. Something that both made him feel guilty and filled him with fear.
But after yet another night of uncomfortable positioning and not being allowed even a second of rest, he snapped. Upon leaving his tent and seeing them give him a smile and wave as they sat contentedly eating their breakfast, he stormed over.
Ker grinned at his approach, giving a little wave. “You’ve come to join us!” He scoots over a bit from his position on the log and pats the new space he made. “Want to sit with me?”
Val, however, frowns at the scowl on Astarion’s face. “Is everything alright? You seem a little tense.”
Astarion’s eye twitched and he exploded, consequences be damned. He knew he was probably playing right into their hands, positive now they were just waiting for him to give them reason to punish him, but he could take it no more. He glared over at Ker. “No! I do not want to sit with you!” He then switched his ire to Val. “And no! I am not fucking alright! Gods!”
Val’s eyebrows shot up, confused about the elf’s outburst. However, Ker flinched back, slumping down, and staring at his bread. “I’m sorry.” He looked at Astarion, his head tilted in confusion, feathers slightly puffed up in distress. “What did I do?”
Astarion stomped his foot. “You haven’t done a damned thing! That’s the problem!”
Ker’s brow furrowed his tail coming to wrap around himself in self-comfort. “What did I not do?” He looks back down at the bread and back up at Astarion. He tentatively holds it out to the vampire. “Was I supposed to give you this? Did you want it?”
Val’s lips twitched in a half smile; he never could stop himself from feeling endeared by his husband’s antics. “No, heart. He doesn’t eat like us remember? He’s not going to want the bread. That’s yours.”
Ker looked over at him, still visibly confused. “But he said we were supposed to do something.”
Val smiled gently. “I know. I heard as well. Maybe we should let him explain what he means.” At Ker’s nod, he motioned Astarion to continue. “What have we not done?”
Astarion pinched the bridge of his nose as he watched the two interact. He glared at them both. “So, I did misjudge you. You are crueler than I had initially thought. You really intend to force me into telling you what I’m waiting for? Are you going to make me beg for it as well? Is it not enough that I’ve been made to wait several sleepless nights for you, only for you to not show up?”
Val took a quick breath in as it dawned on him what was happening, and he was hit with a small wave of horror. “Oh no.”
Ker looked between the two confused. “What? I didn’t know we were supposed to come to your tent.”
Val shook his head. “Astarion, we’re not like that. We won’t be doing anything to you that you do not want. There will be no late-night visits.” He paused. “Unless it’s previously discussed and agreed upon.”
Astarion shook his head. No. They were trying to trick him. They must be. No one was that kind as they had been to him without wanting something in turn. “But you’ve been kind to me. Surely you want something for that?”
Val and Ker glanced at each other and back to him. Ker tilted his head again. “We have?”
Val was equally confused. “We haven’t been kinder than usual, love. What exactly are you talking about?”
Now it was Astarion’s turn to be confused. “You’ve been feeding me. Inquiring how I’ve been doing. Ensuring I’m okay when too tired. When we had sex you even were kind to me even then. You want repayment for that, do you not? Most know not to waste such niceties on me without asking something in turn.”
Ker looked horrified; his feathers fluffed to the point of almost hiding his features. His mouth hung slightly agape as he stared at Astarion and looked helplessly back at Val.
Val, for his part, had an unreadable expression on his face with no visible emotions to be seen. “You think that is us being kind, love?”
“Of course it is! Such affections usually do not come without a steep price. And would you stop calling me that?! I do not need false endearments. You can already do with me what you wish. Is that what you are waiting for? Because you can do whatever you wish to me. I will not say no, nor will I fight you.” He paused, frowning. “Unless, I truly have misjudged you and that is what you are wanting.”
Ker looked near tears. Val flinched back. “No! Gods no! We do not want that. We don’t want to force you into anything. And my endearments are not false. I am aware I am known to be slightly deceptive at times, but I have never been known to give false affections or false loves, I can assure you. We do love you.”
Astarion flinched back, his eyes going wide in disbelief. “You love me?!”
Ker could take no more and promptly burst into soft sobs. “What did I do wrong? What have I done to make you think we don’t love you?”
Astarion furrowed his brows, mouth opening and closing as he tried to form the proper words. Val lightly rubbed Ker’s back. “No, feathers. You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s okay.” He looked up at Astarion, sighing softly. “Yes, we love you. Very much.”
Astarion sat down. His legs not quite able to support him as shock slammed into him. He didn’t recall what it felt like to be loved. Though, now their kindness made sense. They must not have wanted him to be in pain that first time because it was their first time and that was special for people wasn’t it? They would be free to continue as normal now. Perhaps, they did not need repayment for such things if it was in a relationship setting. That’s the only thing he could come up with.
Ker and Val looked at each other in concern, unsure if they had managed to actually break him. Val tentatively reached a hand out to Astarion. “Sit with us?”
Astarion soon found himself sandwiched between the two larger men, almost sat atop their laps as they held him. He still didn’t quite understand what was happening but this, this was nice.
Astarion finally laid content in his bedroll, feeling, dare he say, happy? He curled up around his blanket, content to actually rest after the last long nights. He was about to allow himself to slip into his trance when he heard them. The couple were finally coming into his tent.
He tensed. All his muscles near quivering with how tight they had locked. So, he truly had misunderstood. They were lulling him into a false sense of security, and he was stupid enough to believe them. How many times must he relearn this particular lesson? Apparently, always one more time.
He felt what must be Val lie down and wrap around him from behind, making his skin crawl and feel like he was being burned at each point of contact. He squeezed his eyes shut at he felt Ker lie down in front of him, also pressing into him slightly.
He took a sharp intake of breath as it dawned on him. He had not prepared himself tonight. Maybe that was what they had been waiting for? He felt tears well up in his eyes. They had seemed so nice as well. Though, they wouldn’t be the first to be nice before showering him in unbearable cruelty. And what was about to happen would not doubt be incredibly cruel. The two at the same time would surely rip him. Something he was positive they were probably not overly concerned with as Val could easily heal him afterwards if he so wished. That would not make it hurt any less as it was happening though.
Suddenly abject horror hit him. He still had his blanket. It had seen so much already. Cazador’s friends and guests seemed particularly amused by it the few times they had seen it. They always made sure he would never see it in the same light afterwards. He buried his face into it. He wasn’t sure he could take another horrible memory burned into the once soft fabric. It had lost its innocence long ago, but he still felt there was at least a shred left in it. There would be none after tonight.
He buried his face into it, possibly for the last time, and let out a soft sob. He wasn’t sure what they were waiting for, but each moment that passed made his sobs a little louder, his body trembling just that much harder.
Finally, there was movement, but not quite what he was expecting. Val gently removed his arm and scooted back a little. He felt Ker mirror it, both of them giving him more space. His eyes shot open, meeting Ker’s mismatched eyes, watching as the flames danced within them. The dragonborn looked at him, near tears himself. He didn’t say anything, just slowly held his hand out, pausing before reaching Astarion’s face, waiting for something that Astarion couldn’t figure out.
It finally dawned on him, he was waiting for permission. Fresh tears welled up into his eyes, spilling over his cheeks. No one had asked before touching him before. He gave him a jerky nod. The dragonborn gave him a brilliant smile before tenderly wiping his tears from his face. Astarion couldn’t help but close his eyes. If he had ever been touched so softly before, he definitely could not remember it.
He opened his eyes and glanced over his shoulder at Val, who had retreated a bit away from him, but still within touching distance. The tiefling smiled softly at him, holding his arm open. He was quicker this time to figure out what the meaning behind it was. He scooted back, allowed himself to barely brush against him before nodding at him as well, letting the tiefling wrap his arm around him once more.
He looked back at Ker who was gazing at him with pure adoration in his eyes. Astarion had not ever been looked at in such a way before, it made something warm flare up in his own chest, causing him to shyly smile back before snuggling further into the arm wrapped around him. This was nice. He still clutched his blanket like a lifeline, not positive that he was not dreaming or that he could trust them not to turn once he was fully comfortable, but for now he allowed himself to drift into his trance, never feeling more comfort than he did at this moment. And if they did do anything to him, maybe it would be worth it, if he could just continue to have them hold him like this.