Chapter Text
University of Paradis at Stohess
Early August
+
The Bistro was too damn loud. Always. It didn't matter what time Levi came in, whether it was the final hour before the place closed down for the night or the first fifteen minutes of the morning, when the majority of the students were either hungover or still wandering around in a sleep coma fog. Even now, a full two days before the freshmen influx was due to hit the university, the place was overflowing with boisterous, annoyingly happy people who hadn't been stricken down yet with a heavy workload of studies. That would all change when classes began, and it wouldn't change anything—they'd still be loud. Irritating. Grating.
Because when you got right down to it, it wasn't the place that was the problem. No, it was people. Levi preferred to spend the majority of his free time in his apartment alone for a reason—people were too much to put up with.
If he was a fan of music, he'd do the smart thing and get himself some of those pod things he saw everyone walking around with these days and block it all out with melody. But he hadn't been exposed to a whole lot of music as a child, and that didn't change when he was left on his own. He couldn't deny that occasionally a snatch of something would catch his ear and he'd start feeling things—usually some sad violin or piano tune—but when that happened, he'd shut off his brain and heart before it could go anywhere. Feelings only led to trouble and heartbreak. He'd learned that lesson over the years. Whether it was the pain of losing someone he cared about or being rejected by someone he'd stupidly opened his heart to, feelings were fucked and to be avoided at all costs. So...no music.
Instead he sat here in the Bistro (and what a dumb name, it was a damn university cafeteria and not some eatery on the banks of the Seine, why try to fancy it up?) at a table by himself, as usual the only one actually on time for dinner. Then again his friends, if you could call them that (he tended to refer to them in his mind as “the assholes”), were probably stuck in that ridiculously long food line he refused to set foot in. Idiots. If they weren't so damn lazy, they'd just do what he did and prepare meals for themselves to bring along. It would save time, money, and their taste buds.
Then again, if all of them did that, there'd be no need to meet up here, would there? What a blessing that would be.
Why did Levi even put himself through this? When he asked himself that question, he was unerringly drawn back to a movie he'd watched back in his freshman year of high school, before things went south for good. For some reason he'd never understand, a substitute teacher had entertained them all with a film about three students ditching high school for a day. Most of the kids had enjoyed it; some had actually taken notes from the movie about how to fake being sick and getting away with it. Levi, on the other hand, had found the main character to be a manipulative asshole who forced his best friend to go along with his ludicrous schemes. The scene that came back to Levi most often in moments like this was the best friend, Cameron, sitting in a car and trying to talk himself out of going along with it. “He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over, he'll make me feel guilty...this is ridiculous, I'll go.” And even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, Cameron went. Levi understood perfectly—it just wasn't worth the never-ending fight to be left alone when you had friends who were as pushy (Hange) and silver-tongued (Erwin) as his.
Fuck them both for being such assholes.
He focused on unpacking his meal—a thermos of iced tea that he'd brewed himself, a simple pasta dish flavored with lemon, olive oil, and basil, and a salad that would be topped with a tangy dressing. Each time he brought this particular meal, Mike's nostrils flared and he practically drooled while forcing down overdone pizza that tasted like cardboard. That was fine, let Mike be jealous; that was what you got when you depended solely on the crap served in the “bistro.”
Hange's chirpy voice preceded them—Levi could hear them approaching from five tables away. Sure enough, their sidekick Moblit was lapping at their heels in an effort to keep up with both the conversation and their quick steps. They were prattling on about something called mitochondria but interrupted that for a high-pitched squeal. “Levi! You're here!” That was followed by them clumsily dropping a tray to the table before they slid onto the bench across from Levi. Moblit soon joined along with an admonishment to be more careful because “your soup almost spilled everywhere.”
“Oh, what's a little spilled soup? Hi, Levi!” Hange's joy at seeing him was both annoying and comforting at the same time. “I didn't expect you until tomorrow! Erwin said—”
“Erwin's the asshole who contacted me last-minute and said to get my ass down here today. Couldn't give a guy time to prepare, could he? That would be too easy.”
“Well, you know how he is.” Hange waved a hand in dismissal. “He does what he wants. Anyway, how are you? How was your summer? Did you stay with him? I know he offered you his spare room but I also know how you are about that sort of—”
“Hange, for fuck's sake. You just sat down, give yourself five seconds to breathe before bothering the shit out of me. Eat your damn soup.” Hange rolled their eyes but picked up a spoon. Pacified for the moment, Levi nodded politely at Moblit—one of the few humans who didn't annoy him often. “Moblit.”
“Hey, Levi. Have a good summer?” Moblit picked up half of a sandwich and bit into it.
“It's not the worst time I've ever had,” Levi replied vaguely. “Now see, Hange? That's how you greet someone. The man asked a simple question and then shut up so I could answer.” Hange ignored the barb, continuing to suck down what was probably clam chowder but reminded him so much of something else that Levi couldn't fathom eating it in public. Better not to think about that around others, his face might give away thoughts he tried to keep buried. “And you, Moblit?”
“It was great, actually. Hange and I came up with an idea for a joint dissertation and we've been working on it for months now. It's groundbreaking work in the field of science, and I'm really proud of Hange for the breakthrough.”
“Oh, Levi, it's incredible! See, it all starts with mitochondria and the theory that—”
Mike interrupted from behind Moblit. “Hange, he's already bored. I just walked up and I can see that.”
Hange gasped before jumping up to hug Mike, who bore their enthusiasm with grace after setting down his tray which held—of course—pizza. One thing Levi did like about Mike was that he wasn't outwardly demonstrative and respected Levi's aversion to physical contact. Moblit offered the tall blond a nod in greeting, then scooted closer to Hange to make room for him on their bench. “Moblit, good to see you.”
“You, too. Welcome back.”
“Same to you. No sign of Erwin yet?”
Hange shook their head, now seated and halfway done with the soup. Moblit pushed a thick slice of bread toward them and they picked it up to dip it into the bowl. “He's probably stuck with the board doing all that bureaucratic nonsense. Better him than us, though. Hey, where's Petra?”
“She'll be along,” Mike answered around a bite of sauce-covered dough. “Her plane got in late.”
Levi perked up a bit. Petra was another rare human who didn't annoy him to no end. He'd never admit it, but her presence always lifted his spirits.
Mike swallowed and cleared his throat. “Hey, Levi. I know I say this every time, but that pasta smells fantastic. Think I could maybe get a bite of that? Just one?”
Hange sputtered out a laugh. “Nice try, but the man says no every time. What makes you think tonight will be different?”
“Worth a try,” Mike sighed, his shoulders slumping. He tore a chunk off his pizza slice.
Levi reached into his collapsible cooler and pulled out a small plastic container filled with the pasta. He passed it across the table to Mike, whose jaw dropped in shock. “Close your mouth, idiot, nobody wants to see that mess.”
Mike quickly downed the half-chewed food. “Seriously? You brought me some?”
“Don't make it a big deal. I had some left over.” In truth he'd brought it for Erwin, but halfway to the cafeteria he'd decided to give it away instead. This wasn't done out of kindness; no, it was to get Erwin back for changing plans at the last second. Erwin knew how much Levi hated that and had done it to him anyway.
“Wow. You're the best, man.”
Hange was glowing with a bright grin. “Aww, you did miss us. We missed you too, little guy.”
The glare Levi fixed Hange with would've sliced through anyone else—except perhaps Erwin, who received it almost as often as they did. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? Next one gets a kick in the teeth, Four Eyes.”
“Yes yes, I know, a kick in the teeth, a kick in the ass, a blow to the face. I've heard it all before. The fact that it's never happened just proves how much you do like me.”
“What's it like in that fantasy land in your head, Hange?”
“Oh, it's so exciting! Never a dull moment! Moblit, did you eat my bread?”
“No, Hange, it's right there next to your hand.” Moblit physically lifted their left hand and placed it over the bread. “Drink some water, you need to stay hydrated. It's still hot out, you know.”
“Yes, I know,” they droned, but did pick up the bottle and drink from it.
After that Levi let them all catch up, content to quietly eat his dinner. They were used to his silence and took no offense to it. Maybe that was why he kept coming around; as annoying as they could be at times, they accepted his quirks. Of course, he never would've met any of them without Erwin dragging him along and forcing him to socialize. He was never sure whether to thank Erwin or resent him for that.
Speaking of which, where was the man? It had been over a month since he'd been in Erwin's presence and it had made him twitchy. Daily phone calls helped but it just wasn't the same as sharing a common space or even having Erwin's astute blue eyes take him in from across a room. There was something so damn comforting about being the focus of someone so intense, even if it never would be the way he wanted it to be. Why did Erwin have to be so damn honorable?
“Hey guys!”
“Petra!”
All three of the others stood up to hug her. For his part, Levi offered the bubbly blonde a smirk and a twinkle in his eye. It was the best he could do. Luckily, Petra understood him well enough to take it for the warm greeting it was meant to be. “Hi, Levi!” She set down a backpack and slid into place next to him, then thought better of it and scooted to the far end of the bench across from Mike. One more reason Levi liked her—she was smart enough to know better than to take Erwin's spot.
“Hey, Blondie. Welcome back.”
“Thanks! The flight sucked, we got in late, and I barely got through check-in in time to run over here. Now I'm starving and there's no way I'll make it through that line before they start shutting down the kitchen. I guess it's a vending machine sandwich and chips for me tonight.”
Levi watched Mike look back and forth between his second slice of pizza and what was left of the pasta he'd been gifted. After what seemed like an intense debate, he pushed the plastic container toward Petra. “Here. You can have the rest of this.”
Petra's brown eyes widened. “Whoa, is that Levi's?”
“It was,” Mike replied. “He brought it for me.”
“Wow, really?” After confirming that with Levi, who shrugged, she dug in. “Thanks, Mike! I haven't had this stuff in months! Which...I guess makes sense since we've all been gone that long. But this is your first time trying it, right? You didn't have to share!”
“It's uh...you know. No big deal.” The way his gaze ducked away and his cheeks reddened told a different story, though.
Really. So that's how it is, eh? Probably should've seen that one coming, Levi mused. Mike couldn't be immune to romance forever, and Petra was definitely capable of breaking a man down. If Levi was inclined to females, he might not have been able to resist her either. But no, Levi thought that wouldn't have mattered even if he was attracted to girls; the moment Erwin came into his life, his eyes had been firmly fixed on the towering graceful god of a man and never wavered. That was the power of Erwin Smith, able to mesmerize all of humanity to one degree or another. In Levi's case, it had been to the highest degree.
It's probably best that he isn't interested in romance. I'd be a sappy, weak-minded fool like the rest of them. He studied Moblit, who was under the same spell by Hange. Moblit lived to serve them in every way, to protect them, to knock sense into them when necessary. His devotion wasn't all that different from Levi's to Erwin, both of them locked into some weird kind of self-induced loyalty for someone who was too busy with lofty ideals to lower themselves to something as trivial as love. It's bad enough that I follow him everywhere, that I'd lay down my life for him. Imagine if he reciprocated my feelings and desires—we'd never leave the bedroom. Nothing would ever get done. They'd make fun of us the same way we make fun of those stupid couples who make out in the Quad or behind the bookshelves in the library. No, it's better this way.
But fuck, sometimes...
Sometimes he yearned for it. For Erwin's eyes, which were cold and impartial most of the time but when alone with Levi warmed with affection, to darken with lust as they drank him in. For the man's hands, which were actually allowed to touch him, to do more than rest on his shoulder or caress his back during the rare hugs Erwin gave. Levi wanted those hands somewhere else, everywhere else, it kept him awake some nights in an agony of—
Levi quelled a shiver as that strong hand landed on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. Then the baritone voice that haunted his dreams rang out over Levi's head. “Greetings, all.”
A cacophony of welcomes came their way. Erwin smoothly slid into place between Levi and Petra. After a familiar pat to Levi's knee, the man smiled. “Well, here we are. Another year.”
Hange started rambling right away about their dissertation, giving Levi time to study Erwin. He was dressed comfortably in khaki pants and a gray sweater that made his eyes an icier blue than usual. Under the sweater was a white collared shirt, giving his cozy outfit an air of propriety. He was clean-shaven as always, pale blond hair combed into place. Thick eyebrows accentuated the planes of his face. Levi licked his lips to keep from drooling.
Yep, a sappy weak-minded fool. Definitely better off this way.
He'd finished off his pasta and focused now on the three bites he had left of salad. Erwin let Hange prattle on for a bit before gracefully steering the conversation to the others. He held the smile in place until his gaze fell on Petra, who was still working on the pasta. With a frown, he asked, “Did you buy that here?”
“What? Oh, this? No! It's from Levi! And it's amazing, would you like some before it's gone?”
On his other side, Levi hid an evil smirk. Just as he'd planned, Erwin was jealous. He knew exactly where that pasta came from, having eaten it himself numerous times when Levi packed extra for him—or even better, served it to him fresh in the on-campus apartment they'd shared for years. That's what you get, asshole. Next time give me more notice.
To his credit, Erwin showed none of his envy—at least not outwardly. “That's kind of him. Levi does wonders with linguine and olive oil. I'm truly sorry that I won't be able to sample his cooking this year, since we aren't sharing an apartment.”
Levi's chest puffed up at the underlying tone that no one else would pick up on; the man was affronted that Levi would cook for someone else. Not for the first time, Levi wondered if Erwin was jealous of Petra since he'd surely noticed Levi's affection toward her. Or at least his lack of churlishness where she was concerned. Erwin knew even that was a sign of affection when it came to Levi. “And whose fault is that, Erwin? You're the idiot who signed up to be a liaison this year and throw in with the council. You want to play big shot. What happened to your dreams of teaching history? Now you suddenly want to be a bureaucrat and run this place?”
“Levi, as a liaison I'm certainly not going to run the place. It's more of an interim assignment, bridging the gap between students and staff. I'm going to be the voice of the students and see if we can all work together to make sure their needs are met. Besides, I graduated last semester. I couldn't share an apartment with a student anymore.”
“Yet you couldn't bear to leave this place either. You came back.”
“For an internship. Not as a student.”
“But they gave you a damn apartment anyway. What's the difference?”
“The difference is that it's inappropriate for me to room with a student now. We've already discussed this.”
Yes, they had. Levi had said plenty on the subject, only to have each of his arguments dismissed. Most of Erwin's comebacks had involved the word “inappropriate.” Levi had come to hate that word. Everything he wanted in life seemed to come down to it.
Sensing that it was a point of contention between them, Mike smoothly shifted the conversation. “So you're a member of the staff but...not?”
“No, I am a member of the staff. I will have an office onsite. But my job is to represent the needs of the students.”
Mike threw down the crust from his slice. “Well, let them know the students need better pizza.”
Erwin offered a rare chuckle. “I'll see what I can do. I'll also work as a counselor for incoming students. I've been placed in charge of the freshmen, helping them to acclimate to all the changes they're facing and to be available for any questions or concerns.”
“What a great idea!” Petra beamed. “I wish I'd had someone like that to help me navigate this place when I was a freshman. I almost quit school five times and ended up crying most nights for the first semester. I don't know how I made it through all that.”
Levi knew. He'd come across her crying in the library. He'd ignored the part of him that always told him to just keep walking and instead sat at her table and opened a book he had no interest in. He said nothing, just offered his presence—and a tissue. Somehow that had been enough, and an hour later she'd not only cheered up but told him her name and where she was from. What she was studying. How hard she'd worked to get a scholarship and how much harder she'd have to continue working to keep it. That had been what tipped her over the edge. Levi had listened, saying little, and when she'd offered to buy him dinner in the Bistro as a thank you for his kindness, he'd turned her down. But the next time he'd come across her in the Bistro and seen her sitting alone, he'd invited her to join him and his obnoxious buddies. She'd never left.
“Well, that's what I'm here for now,” Erwin nodded. His stomach rumbled suddenly, Levi being close enough to pick up on it. He sighed and reached into his bag for the apple he'd been saving for dessert. Though Erwin smiled when Levi held it out, he shook his head. “Actually, there's a reason I wanted you all here tonight. I'm going to need your help.”
Levi's mouth turned down. Whenever Erwin asked for help, it meant he would have to do something he didn't want to do but would do it anyway because it was Erwin asking. Knowing Erwin was about to piss him off, Levi bit into the apple and crunched it loudly in hopes that Erwin would be jealous.
“Whatever you need, Erwin.”
Levi glared at Mike. Of course that asshole would bend over for Erwin and make the rest of them look bad. He and Mike had gotten off to a rocky start, Mike suspicious of Erwin's friendship with Levi in the early days. He hadn't understood why Erwin had befriended a rude, uneducated young man who bristled every time he was spoken to. It was Erwin who'd gotten Levi up to speed enough to get his GED and then found a scholarship that Levi was able to apply for and win. His entire education was paid for as long as his grades were kept up, and Levi would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about that this year; Erwin had helped him through his classes for the past three years and now that he wouldn't be seeing Erwin as often, would he fail them? Would Erwin even have time to tutor him? If Hange wasn't so damn hyper-focused on their science crap they might help; Moblit might do the same if he wasn't busy with Hange. Nobody else he knew was as smart as Erwin and Hange. At least he and Mike were friends now, or as close to friendship as Levi got, and he was intelligent. He wasn't a brain, though.
Erwin squeezed Levi's knee again as if to remind him his hand was there. Levi hadn't forgotten. Then Erwin straightened his shoulders and launched into one of his speeches that always ended up sounding like what he was asking was on a par with saving the world. “In my effort to make things easier for incoming students, I put forth a handful of new ideas to the council. Most of them were dismissed due to a lack of funds. Or rather, their choice to funnel those funds to other projects that satisfy their needs. However, one of them was deemed acceptable as it doesn't cost the university anything extra and will ensure that each incoming student, save a few, will have access to an upperclassman at all times. Those upperclassmen will be expected to mentor the freshmen and be their safe space, so to speak. Obviously I will also be available for counseling needs and questions, but I'm only one man and I can't handle all of them on my own. Therefore I'm asking all of you, along with the other students who have been here for a minimum of two years, to help me make their transition as seamless as possible.”
Levi's heart was sinking. Dread was climbing up his stomach. The man was going to expect him to make friends with snot-nosed brats coming into this place—as if dealing with them in common spaces like the Bistro and the library wasn't bad enough.
“So you're putting together a team of mentors?” Hange asked. Levi was pleased to see that they didn't like the idea much more than he did, most likely because it would take time away from their research.
“In a manner of speaking.”
“Erwin, I don't have time for extra meetings and appointments. My schedule is already booked solid with classes, and the spare time I will have, we'll be conducting research. Moblit and I—”
“Meetings and appointments won't be necessary. You'll mentor them in a more personal space.”
Mike's brows drew together. Petra looked just as confused. Levi felt anxiety swimming in his chest because whatever the hell Erwin was proposing, he was going to hate it. He set down the apple and wiped his hands on a napkin. “Just spit it out, asshole. What the fuck are you signing us up for?”
“Roommates.”
Petra piped up first. “Oh, but Erwin, I already have a roommate. Hitch and I have—”
“It's all being reassigned, Petra. I'm sorry. You'll be paired with an incoming freshman.”
Mike looked like he was about to argue; he'd been rooming with Gelgar since his freshman year and they got on well. Then he seemed to remember his whole “Whatever you need, Erwin” comment and snapped his mouth shut.
Moblit had the good sense to stay quiet. Hange, on the other hand, was known to be brilliant but couldn't necessarily be said to have good sense. “Erwin, that's not going to work. Moblit and I will be working late into the night, we'll need that extra time that we won't get during the day for studies. You can't split us up, we're a team. Not just roommates, but a research team. I understand your passion for this idea but I have my own passion, I can't just drop it. I'm sorry.”
“You can file a formal complaint with me tomorrow. It will be taken up by the liaison committee and we'll consider your situation as an individual case. But Hange, I'm asking you to help me with this. Not for my own gain, but for the sake of a scared young boy or girl who's facing life alone for the first time. They need your guidance.”
Levi witnessed Hange's resolve wavering. Fuck Erwin and that silver tongue of his.
“Is this just us?” Mike finally asked. “Or...all the upperclassmen?”
“As many as are needed, and since there are more freshmen coming in than what we have available as mentors, that would translate to all of you. The announcement will be made tomorrow but I wanted my friends to be made aware of it before everyone else. I was hoping to have your support in this, since I'm sure there will be pushback. Please consider the needs of the new students before turning the idea away. It's for their benefit. Most of you are only here for one more year anyway, so it wouldn't be longer than that.”
Oh, fuck this man. Here he was using terms like “my friends” and “your support” and “needs of the new students.” He knew exactly how to spin anything to gain sympathy for his cause. Levi himself had fallen for it too many times, though in his case it might be due to his devotion to the sneaky bastard.
Petra was the first to cave, surprising no one. “Well, I guess if it'll help someone have an easier time than I did...I mean, I can't say no to that. I'll miss Hitch but hey, maybe the new kid will be cleaner!”
Erwin turned on his charm with a warm smile and placed a hand over hers. “Thank you, Petra. I appreciate your compassion.”
And then, in predictable fashion, Mike conceded. “Gelgar does tend to come in drunk most nights. I've had to help him through a million hangovers over the years. It might be nice to have a break from that. Then again, I'm not sure I can count on a freshman to be much better about it. Just make sure I get a kid who isn't such a party animal. Will you have any control over that or is it random?”
“It's random but I can pull a few strings for you guys. Petra, I'll see what I can do to find you a roommate who is considerate of others and not so lazy. Mike, I'll do the same for you. Hange—”
“Erwin...I'm still not sure about this. I may file that complaint.”
“If you do, I understand. But I hope you'll back me up in this. It's a good idea, surely you see that.”
“Yes, I see your point. Moblit and I will discuss it tonight.”
“Thank you. All I ask is that you give it due consideration before making a decision. Levi, I already have a roommate chosen for you. I selected him with care, knowing your quirks. I've met with him personally and I think the two of you will mesh very well once you get to—”
“No.”
Levi stood up and started throwing his empty containers into the cooler.
“Levi—”
“I said no, Erwin. I'll have that formal complaint on your desk first thing in the morning.”
“I'm counting on you to—”
“Stop talking. It's not happening.”
Levi slung the strap of the cooler over his shoulder and picked up the thermos of tea. He'd made it four steps from the table when Erwin tried again.
“Levi.”
It was that commanding tone of his that never failed to get through to Levi.
Well, there's a first time for everything. Fuck you, asshole.
This time Levi didn't even falter; he kept walking.
+
An hour after slamming the door to his apartment (his apartment, the one Erwin had promised would be his and his alone), a strong knock sounded against it. Levi ignored it. He knew who it was and had no intention of discussing the matter further.
Because that's exactly what Erwin would have in mind. Discussion. Talk. That's all the man ever wanted to do.
Levi wasn't about to be persuaded by the silver-tongued devil. Not about this.
There was a second knock. Levi continued to hang pairs of jeans in his closet. A snippet of a memory came to him from the first night he and Erwin had roomed together.
“You hang your jeans?”
“You don't?”
Fuck those memories. He'd finally come to terms with the fact that he wouldn't be sharing a room with Erwin any longer, and as much as he hated it, it was better to be alone than put up with some bratty kid who would ask a million questions and talk his ear off.
Then came the sound of a key in the lock. Too late, Levi remembered that Erwin had never given up his key to this place. Fuck.
Well, fine. Let him talk. Didn't mean Levi had to listen.
“I'm disappointed, Levi. I really hoped you'd put the needs of someone else above your own.”
Levi kept his back to Erwin but bristled. How dare he act like he wasn't doing the same thing? And now he was guilting Levi over this? “Don't bother. I'm not changing my mind.”
“You're also forgetting that I'm on the committee. Which means I can deny your complaint.”
Levi finally spun around, hands empty and balled into fists at his side. “And you would, because you're a heartless bastard who cares only about your own ideals.”
Erwin had the sense to look chastened, seeming smaller in the doorway of the bedroom. “That's not fair.”
“It's the fucking truth and you know it. You swore to me that I'd be rooming alone. That was the condition, remember? I wasn't even gonna come back to this place!” And now he was yelling. Levi never yelled. He never raised his voice—except when it came to Erwin. Why did this man have such an effect on him? It pissed him off. “But you talked me into it with your smooth words and the promise that I could live alone. How the fuck do you expect me to react to you going back on your word and shoving me in with some kid?”
“At the time I meant it, Levi. I arranged for you to have this place to yourself and I intended for it to be that way.”
“So what changed? You want to be some damn do-gooder and help out some snot-nosed kids? Fine. But leave me out of it. This is your crusade, not mine.”
Erwin seemed to think over how to proceed next. Strategizing. Coming up with the best move to play Levi like a fiddle. Fuck that, it wasn't going to work this time. Levi turned away and picked up a hoodie from the open suitcase on his bed. Purposely not looking at the bed on the other side of the room, the one that Erwin had slept in for three years. Definitely not thinking about how empty it would seem without him.
“I truly thought you would be the one person at that table to side with me. To understand.”
There it was, the hand on his shoulder. Levi tried not to let it affect him. “Bullshit. There's no way in hell you'd think I would want this.”
“No, I never thought you would want it. But I expected you to understand where I was coming from, better than anyone.”
Stop. Just stop talking. Every time you talk I turn stupid. I lose my own will to yours. Levi shrugged the hand off and hung up the hoodie he'd put on a hanger.
“Tell me, Levi. Why are you here?”
Nope. Not falling for that.
“Levi.” It was the stern tone again. Fuck. “Levi.” Now it was gentle, and why did that undo him even more? Erwin was a sadist. He took pleasure in this, he had to. “Tell me. Why are you here? What are you studying? What is it you want to do with your life?”
Levi's shoulders deflated. So that's the tack Erwin was taking. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck! “That has nothing to do with this.”
“It has everything to do with this. Our goals are the same.” The strong hand returned to Levi's right shoulder, fingers kneading through the fabric of Levi's t-shirt. He could feel the heat and it made him insane as every touch from Erwin did. “We both want to help youth, don't we? Me in the classroom? You in the streets? Remember what we talked about way back then? You'd get them off the streets and into my classroom and I'd teach them a better way of life? To learn from the mistakes of history? To be better people? Together we can change so many lives. That was always our goal.” Erwin's thumb had made it over to Levi's bare neck, to that sweet spot just behind his ear. He was seducing Levi with nothing more than words and a thumb on his skin. Worse, he knew it.
Even worse than that, it was working.
Why? Why can't I ever resist him? “This is not that, Erwin.”
“Tell me how it's different. I can't do anything in a classroom until I've completed my internship. What's wrong with doing good in the meantime? Why is it so horrible to help a young man ingratiate himself to this place? He has no one, Levi.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means he's an orphan. His parents died when he was young. His grandfather took care of him for a time but then passed away. He's been alone since he was fifteen. Emancipated himself. He has no one.”
Of course. Of course Erwin would choose a boy like this, knowing Levi as well as he did. He knew how to twist that knife. “If he's been emancipated for three years, then he's independent. He doesn't need anyone.”
“Just because someone can survive alone doesn't mean they want to. Doesn't mean they're any good at it. I interviewed him, Levi. He's lonely. I can see it. He needs you.”
“He doesn't need me.”
“He does. You're exactly the right person for him to be around because you've lived his life. You understand that he's used to solitude. You won't be on him to talk about himself all the time the way Hange would, or Petra, or anyone else. You'll give him his space. You'll respect his need for privacy. I'm not expecting you to be best friends with him or anything. All I ask is that you're here for him if he has any questions. If he does need to talk.”
“I'm no good at that sort of thing.”
“You are, and Petra is living proof of that. You listened plenty when she talked.”
Was it Levi's imagination or did Erwin spit out her name with a tiny bit of venom? His lips twisted into a satisfied smirk. He is jealous. The knowledge spurred him to say, “Petra's different. She's special.” The way Erwin's hand clamped tighter onto Levi's shoulder was gratifying.
“So is Armin. Levi, I would never saddle you with someone I thought you would hate. I wouldn't do that to him, either. He's much more mature than most his age. He'll respect your boundaries. You just have to make them clear to him.”
“What the fuck kind of name is Armin?”
“It's a shortened form of the name Arminius, which comes from ancient Persia. It means 'universal.' Or 'hero.'”
“Of course you fucking know that. Right off the top of your head.”
Levi felt Erwin shrug behind him. “I read a lot.”
He rolled his eyes. The fact that he was doing that, not yelling, not feeling the intense anger flaring to life inside him, told him he was about to give in. And he hated it. Hated that Erwin could so easily do this to him. The man wouldn't even kiss him! Why did he care so much about some asshole who manipulated the fuck out of others as a form of communication?
As always, Erwin sensed that he was close to submission. “Please do this for him, Levi. For me. I need you. If others see you in support of the idea, they'll fall in line. You never believe me when I say it, but you have the admiration and respect of so many. Help me help the children.”
“These aren't even children!” Levi snapped. “They're adults. Stop making it sound like kids are wasting away on the streets if I don't do this.”
Erwin said nothing; he knew he didn't have to. Instead he used his thumb to rub circles into that sweet spot. Levi's eyes fell closed and he leaned his head back against Erwin's chest. Erwin's free arm stole around Levi's waist and pulled his body closer. He breathed into Levi's left ear.
“Stop that,” Levi murmured, wishing for the exact opposite. He was on fire in a way no one else had ever made him feel before. Only Erwin had this power over him.
“Help me,” Erwin whispered. “Without you, I can't do this.”
Levi licked his lips. Erwin's mouth was so fucking close. Just a turn of the head...
But he'd tried that before. Had his heart trampled with words like “inappropriate” and “unfair” and “I won't do this to you. You deserve someone who will give you his whole heart, not just a quick fix.”
“Please,” Erwin breathed.
“You trying to talk me into a roommate or a fuck? Sure feels like a fuck at this point.”
Erwin's warm laugh rumbled up from his chest. He pressed his lips to Levi's cheek. “Unfortunately my stance on that hasn't changed. You deserve more than what I'm prepared to give you.”
“Even though you want it, too?”
“Even though.”
“You think that'll ever change? Maybe one day when you've achieved your goals? Gotten what you wanted? Could you ever love me?”
“Levi, don't confuse my rejection for a lack of feelings for you.”
Levi swallowed, his heart thumping so hard he felt it in his ears. “Is that a no?”
“It is. I'm as sorry now as I was when we last discussed it. My goal was never to hurt you.”
“So...it's never going to change.”
“I'm afraid not. There's no space in my life for what you're offering.”
He'd known it. It still cut him to his core. But in true Levi Ackerman fashion, it wasn't going to break him. The first time, it almost had. He'd learned since then. Now hearing that it would always be like this...it fucking hurt. He nodded and then spun around to grip Erwin's face in his hands. “I'll do it. But you're not getting out of this without some form of payment.” He dragged Erwin down and slammed their mouths together. Erwin gasped, having not seen it coming, and when he parted his lips Levi slipped his tongue in. A violent shudder ripped through Erwin's body. He grabbed Levi's hips and pulled him closer, hands rough and needy. Levi's arms twined around Erwin's neck as he kissed the hell out of the man, finally taking what he'd needed for over three years and been denied. Erwin was hard against him, hard enough that Levi wouldn't be surprised if he burst right there in his pants, and it sent a thrill through Levi to know he could do that to the man who controlled everyone else with puppet strings. No question he'd been jealous of Petra. The thought made Levi smile into the kiss.
He eventually pulled back. It was okay now that Erwin wouldn't give in—Levi knew he wasn't alone in his attraction to the man, and it was enough. “Thanks. Payment received. Business transaction complete.”
Levi's arms were still around Erwin's neck. The blue eyes weren't ice cold for once; they were dark sapphires glittering with lust. Erwin's breath came in pants. “You're a demon.”
“That's what you get for trying to seduce me into getting your way. Next time stick with words. Trust me, that's all you need with me. This was just a bonus. Or should I say...boner?”
Erwin shoved Levi away. He caught a glimpse of a smirk before Erwin spun around to fix his collar and smooth out his sweater. “That's crude.”
“I never claimed to be anything else. Are we done here?”
When he turned around to face Levi, his composure was back in place. Mostly. His hair was sticking out in random places at the back of his skull. His crotch was still tented. “Transaction complete. Thank you, Levi. I sincerely mean that. Your support means everything to me.”
“I'm still not happy about it. You did promise me my own apartment.”
“I know. I'm sorry I broke that promise. It will be the last time.”
“Considering it's the first time in more than three years, I believe that. You're fucking hot when you're turned on.”
Erwin cleared his throat. Heat soared into his cheeks. “I'll thank you to forget that.”
“Never, Blondie.”
A sharp gaze cut into Levi's. “I thought that was your nickname for her.”
“It was yours first.”
Erwin nodded once. “Don't forget that.”
“Never.”
Satisfied, Erwin lifted a hand and took his leave. Levi followed him to the door, then peered through the curtains to watch the man walk away down the lighted path. His gait was stiff from the erection that hadn't quite calmed down. Levi smiled, which was insane considering he'd soon be sharing his home with a stranger.
Well, he'd deal with it. He felt more sorry for the poor kid who'd have to put up with his bad attitude and frenzied cleaning methods.
“He'll respect your boundaries. You just have to make them clear to him.”
That, Levi would do.