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scranklyorganslurper posted
A LIST OF TIMES THE POLICE COMPLETELY FAILED AT ARRESTING SOKOVIA ACCORDS VIOLATORS
hot take, the sokovia accords are shit. more hot take, they make peoples lives far worse. even more hot take, if we wanted to arrest the vigilantes and stuff maybe the cops should actually be good at their fuckign jobs maybe???
- Punisher.
okay ive gone over my opinions on the punisher many times on this blog so just scroll through it and youll find something, but i also think this is just the funniest fucking thing.
he was literally at an anti-cop protest. he was just chilling. on a roof. he wasn’t even hiding. Like theres an image somewhere – cant find it – of him just standing there, in full gear, watching the protest. he was not even trying.
and protesters said they just figured he was there to protest too, and,, to be fair to them, they weren’t exactly wrong. In his defence, the cops shot first. he just like,,, observed them for a couple minutes, erased a bunch from this plane of existence, and fucked off down the other side of the building. and you know whats worse? the cops literally called for backup, and they all just sat there. in the same spot. and had the gall to act shocked when he continued to shoot them.
im just saying, if youre gonna try arrest a madman with a gun, maybe dont all group in the same spot.
and like, should we be celebrating a murderer? no. is this actually really funny? yes.
- Sir Atom.
i think thats his name?? idk hes kinda new on the block so theres no concrete identity. its the one who shrinks really small and. yeah i got no idea what he does, but i think thats his name so we’re going with it i guess.
okay so he was doing his thing, saving some people from getting mugged, and then giving the mugger money? allegedly it was a teenager so i wouldnt be surprised honestly, this guy seems pretty nice. but then the cops rock up, and start arresting the mugger, and then they start accusing sir atom of being scott lang – antman, if you missed his actual name – and like saying hed violated the sokovia accords and his previous plea deal or whatever??
this is all coming from other news articles but im pretty sure the first article interviewing the mugging victims was this one. by karen page so i think im being as accurate as i can.
anyway he kept repeating that he was not antman, was not scott lang, and would appreciate it if he would stop being compared to him, because unlike scott lang, his power set was innate and not made by some old man in a lab. apparently this seemed pretty personal, because, and this is a direct quote from the interview with the mugging victims, sir atom said ‘all those bastards making their powers in a lab, who don’t have to deal with the physical effects that come from actually shrinking down to a miniscule size because they’re protected by a perfectly made suit.’ and like, i got no idea what his beef with scott lang is because he seemed like a pretty cool dude, but if that aint the most hilarious shit youve ever heard of, i dont know who youre kidding.
yeah so and then when he was done ranting the cops tried to arrest him again and he just. shrunk. because somehow these people thought that they’d just be allowed to arrest him after he was done complaining about not being scott lang???
(also, quick aside on that one. If sir atom were scott lang, if, then that would mean the police would be actively looking for scott lang/antman on the streets, when scott lang is allegedly serving house arrest for illegal vigilantism in violation of the sokovia accords because he took a plea deal after the parking lot fight. I think it would be very interesting that there would not be any information regarding him escaping said house arrest available to the public. I’m also not saying it would be suspicious, if that were it fact, the case.)
- Hawkeye
we’ve all seen this video by now, but if you haven’t, quick context. hawkeye was clint barton. that was who you saw during the battle of new york, and also any other avengers mission since then, and also just hanging around with a bow and arrow and keeping people from getting murdered in back alleys. hawkeye is no longer clint barton. she hasnt revealed her name yet (yes she uses she/her pronouns, check this video) which is honestly fair enough, but shes doing a damn good job of being hawkeye, and i love her for it.
but, of course. people are getting confused about it. same name, different person. its like Jessika. theyre everywhere.
so to summarise the most glorious video to grace my computer in at least a day:
- new hawkeye is waiting on a rooftop. not sure why. she just is.
- cops arrive to arrest her.
- they yell hawkeye youre under arrest. she turns around.
- the cops then yell about clint bartons list of crimes
- hawkeye somehow grimaces with her entire body and stands up
- the cops are quiet
- ‘do I fucking look like clint barton!?’
- silence
- a cop goes, not very quietly at all ‘i think this is not clint’
- more silence
- ‘r e a l l y’
so this is great, obviously. another case of the cops having no idea who they are actually there to arrest or for what, we love to see it. but it gets even better.
this part wasn’t caught on video, but its backed up by almost every witness so im going with it. ronin (yeah its another new one, apparently the antivigilante legislation is actually just incentive now) shows up, and is just standing next to hawkeye on the rooftop, looking down at the crowd below them.
and look, people have pointed out that ronin has an identical height and build to clint barton. i think these people are trying to do Cinderella shoe logic and are idiots, but whatever. clearly some of the cops have heard about this and believe it, so they start calling up the charges for clint barton again. hawkeye yells back about her not being clint, and ronin is also yelling about him not being clint.
at some point, the cops realise they can arrest these people even if they arent clint barton, so they start making their way onto the roof. and then ronin and hawkeye just kinda leave. again, i do not understand how the cops keep forgetting that these people run from people for a living.
(again, im not saying that the cops thought hawkeye was clint barton because they were looking for him because hes escaped his house arrest, because if that were the case, then we the public would have been informed that this is something that is happening regarding the total transparency of all accords-based arrests, registrations, identities and status of all individuals who fall under the accords jurisdiction. Because if we weren’t being told that, it would mean that law enforcement officials are not abiding by international law. And its not like that could ever happen, because if it did, it would be a sign of something far more dangerous.)
- The Fantastic Four
honestly this one doesn’t need much explanation. it is still the funniest thing to me that this is a very public, well known superhero team, who literally have a public building just like the avengers did, and they have very much publicly supported not signing the accords, and nothing has been done about it. like i know they were legally sanctioned before the accords, but its been made pretty clear that no other previous arrangements count and they should have been arrested, but they just havent been.
like, literally two weeks ago one of their recurring bad guys – which honestly that should be the priority here? the people who are actually murdering other people??? – caused a minor explosion which the fantastic four managed to contain so that no one got badly hurt. theres live coverage of this and everything. and the police were there, and fucking Reed Richards just looks at them and waits. doesnt say a word. just waits. and like johnny storm is still dealing with some of the rubble and making sure its stable and one of the news cameras just zooms in as a cop approaches him from behind as hes making sure this doesn’t kill anyone and this cop fucking tries to arrest him. that cop then perished because sue fucking storm is an icon and spoke to him so sternly that i nearly cried just from looking at her expression of disappointment.
and like im so glad that ben actually gets the protection of being in a team thats too public to be arrested because he has no way to hide his powers and i do not want to think about what would happen to him if the fucking government got their hands on him.
and yes, half the reason the fantastic four are as safe as they are is because of the connections richards has, but yknow what, i think just this once the rich man is kind of winning right now.
- Xavier and Magneto (and the rest of the x-men)
look ive been pretty chill about the accords but like, as a piece of legislation, they are actually so fucked up. any powers at all and you can be arrested if you dont register. even if you dont use them for vigilantism, youre considered a criminal and honestly not even given basic human rights treatments if you read them properly. and for the mutants, who are just born with their powers? same shit.
so like, professor x managing to keep his school a legal safe haven for mutants to exist is honestly amazing. i know he was trying to hide its existence from the general public, but mutants knowing they have a place they can go to if they cant hide their powers anymore is wonderful.
and while the schools existence is technically legal under the accords, the x-men team? Most certainly is not. yes, we all know these are separate things. mutants arent all one group aligned with the same goals, but the three big mutant groups we commonly know of is xaviers school, the x-men, and the brotherhood. one legally neutral, one group who are doing good things but still illegal for some reason, and another group who is illegal for their existence but also for their other general crimes even if those might have understandable reasons behind them (cool motive, still murder.)
why is this background so important? well, this one is just wild.
what ive gathered seems to be that xavier and the x-men were having a meeting at a cafe, with xavier acting on behalf of the government to get the x-men to sign the accords – yeah i know that doesnt seem right but honestly we just Do Not Know what is up with those guys so this is what were going with for now.
anyway, apparently someone tipped off the local police about the presence of the x-men, because they show up to arrest them. so, the x-men start to leave. unfortunately, these cops were apparently a little bit more prepared than normal, and they brought stuff that would help them hold their own against the x-men.
a fight happens. i dont know the details, except for the fact that there were no civilian casualties – like even injuries – which is weird because this was happening at a cafe. anyway, the brotherhood of evil mutants just shows up.
yeah. wild.
so the brotherhood like fully drags the x-men out, and witnesses are saying that they fully expected a three way fight to break out, but instead the x-men and the brotherhood kinda form a line together and it almost seems natural to them??? and the police are about to fire but then two people start arguing very loudly
and its xavier and magneto
and i had the privilege of watching one of their arguments a couple years ago – it was in ohio somewhere – and let me tell you there is some history there. they always first name each other – magnetos is erik – and its always so personal. like, in the one i witnessed they started arguing over something that happened in the nineties??? fucking wild.
yeah so anyway magneto and xavier are having an argument and allegedly no one moves. like they dont do anything at all. the police dont try and arrest any mutants, the x-men and the brotherhood are standing there like its something they have to deal with pretty frequently – Would Not surprise me – and xavier and magneto are just yelling at each other.
and this is happening for like, 20 minutes? and then the cops just,,, leave. thats it. theyre just gone. and the x-men and the brotherhood just kinda separated and also left. but yknow who didnt leave? magneto and xavier. they stayed at the cafe for ages apparently.
look idk whats going on there but also why the fuck did the police just leave???? like that seems ridiculously incompetent even for them.
Yeah so anyway I wasn’t actually present for any of these so if you have more information for me please give it I would love more context for some of this shit because things seem a bit off and also its just fucking hilarious.
acidic-debt reblogged
+1 deadpool.
Also one time they technically arrested deadpool – like he was fully in cuffs and being forced into the car, but then he just. well. its deadpool. There were several detached limbs
Were they his limbs? I do not know if they were but I wont question it.
>>> the-haiku-bot reblogged
Were they his limbs? I
do not know if they were but
I wont question it
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
temporaryheaven reblogged
also remember that the mutant registration act is very much still a thing, which is separate from the accords, and is half the reason the brotherhood is as big as it is. even without the accords, mutant rights are still pretty much non-existent.
>>> bosybosomblossom reblogged
wait did the accords not make all previous legislation regarding powered individuals null and void??? or did I misunderstand it?
>>>>>> temporaryheaven reblogged
they were supposed to have that effect, except because its specifically regarding mutants and not just powered people in general they’ve gotten away with enforcing both of them. also, people generally prefer to forget about the existence of mutants unless they’re being hateful, so its not like people are calling them out for it.
Bvstycrustacaen reblogged
the police left the mutants alone because xavier has telepathy powers and can influence peoples minds.
>>> glonkerina23 reblogged
Can we please stop feeding conspiracy theories? Like please?? Because this shit just ends up being used by pro-accords people as part of a fearmongering campaign.
livertheft reblogged
op this is amazing but why the fuck do you spell jessica with a k
>>> scranklyorganslurper reblogged
why would you name your kid kessika?????
scranklyorganslurper reblogged
THE PUNISHER THING WAS A FUCKING JOKE OH MY GOD PEOPLE, I DON’T. CONDONE. MURDER
murderriver reblogged
okay but did you checked if the butts match for ronin and clint
>>> murderriver reblogged
oops wrong universe
>>>>>> orborbs reblogged
What.