Chapter Text
(Thunk!) I’m alive…There’s no axe buried in the tree next to my head, as I’d expected there to be. I open my eyes to adjust to the darkness around me, finding nothing. No Mikko, no sign of anyone. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I look at my footpaws, seeing the key to the pawcuffs lying there in the snow. The glint of the metal shining like a ray of hope in the pale moonlight that shimmered against the contrasting dark. My only hope in getting out of this situation, and now it was helplessly out of my reach. Just like Mikko. I thought to myself, causing the tears to spill over. I closed my eyes as tightly as I could, just wanting to wake up in my bed at the guest house with this all being one hellish nightmare. Hell, did I fall asleep during the movie? Am I still back at the guesthouse with Mikko right beside me? God, how fucking stupid am I? How fucking stupid was it for me to not see that he felt the same way I did. I hurt him…I hurt him in so many ways that I didn’t know, and then I left him alone…
Hell, maybe he should have killed me…
At some point I must have passed out, because when I opened my eyes again, the full moon now hung high over me. Even the moon was judging me, or at least that’s what I thought. The shadows on the ground seemed to dance around as I watched them, the gently falling snow sticking out against the dimly lit woods. I looked up at the trees around me, feeling nothing but hopelessness as I stared back into the dismally grey sky. No one was going to find me here; that’s something I was sure of. The trees swayed back and forth, like they were mocking my predicament.
A twig snapped off to my side, sending my heart into my throat. It burned in my ears as I felt my pulse quicken. Was it Mikko? Did he come to finish me off? Did he realize that he was wrong in his metaphor? Was it someone else? As I scanned in a panic to see any kind of movement, anything at all, I found nothing, but I could feel the burning pain in my wrists as they struggled against the pawcuffs. A strangled cry for help left my dry mouth. My throat felt like I’d swallowed burning coals.
Whatever was there, it heard me. And now, I was nervous. I could only hope it was someone that would be willing to help me.
“Oh my god, Arvo?!” I heard, turning my head toward the sound. “Arvo, is that you?!” It called out.
I tried to calm myself again, straining against the dark landscape to see who or what was calling out to me. I tried to call out, but the burning coals in my throat caused the sound to come out in more of a whisper. I couldn’t feel my face, nose nor ears anymore.
In front of me, I saw it. Movement. Hastened movement heading straight for me. “Arvo!” The voice called out again. I felt tears welling up again as I saw a flash of silver hair in the moonlight, then the worried and panicked face of a certain lion with red eyes. “Arvo, hang on!” He called out to me, his voice ringing in my ears.
I was so happy to see him, and no matter how much I wanted to tell him that, the burning in my wrists from the cuffs, the scrapes from the rough bark of the tree on the back of my neck, the ache in my legs from standing in one place for what felt like forever, the numbness on my face from the cold and the excruciating pain in my chest from having my best friend, my first crush, my first love , having been the one to put me here was too much for me. I could only muster enough energy to look at him and nod.
“Vittu–pawcuffs?!” He said, realizing what was keeping me tied to the tree. His breath was haggard, ragged, and each exhale was a small cloud in the open air. “Arvo, do you know where the key is?” His eyes were filled with worry, and I had to wonder how bad off I looked to make him feel this way.
I looked down between my feet, and felt myself blanche. It was gone. The key to the cuffs was nowhere in sight. I had to say something, anything. I tried to work up a bit of saliva to coat my throat, which didn’t do anything. I couldn’t make a single sound. I could see the corners of my vision beginning to fade as I looked at Lake. It’s now or never, Arvo; do it for him. “Ground…” I finally wheezed out, nodding my head toward my feet where the snow had been jostled.
Lake’s ears straightened immediately and he cast his eyes to the ground, looking around quickly in the sparkling white ground. “Vittu–missä helvetissä se on?!” I heard him swear, but it felt like he was a whole block away. I could feel my body slowly giving up, the fading from the corners of my vision now threatening to cover everything in black. I didn’t hear him calling my name at all. I was surprised when I felt a pair of paws on my face. “Arvo, don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare!” He half-screamed at me, and from what I could see, there were tears in his eyes, which shone in the moonlight.
I had to use what little energy I had left to force him back into focus; his fangs bore in a grimace as he sniffled. I could see the dark circles under his eyes, the redness of those eyes, and his hair was wet. He smelled of the generic hibiscus shampoo that he always did, something that I always thought was comforting. I looked him directly in the eyes and nodded.
Lake pressed his forehead to mine, a showing of companionship, and then went back to hurriedly looking around on the ground for the key. “Please…please…anything…” I could hear him whimpering as he looked around, his breaths getting heavier. That was when we both heard it.
(Tink!)
His claws had tapped against something metallic just off to my right. The sound made us both look at each other, then he gripped a pawful of snow, hefting it up with a shaky paw. “I-I found it!” He exclaimed, running behind the tree and quickly undoing one of the pawcuffs that had kept me trapped here. “Vitun tähden!” He swore again, his breathing heavier than before as I felt the sweet relief of the pawcuff releasing from around my wrist. As more tears welled up in my eyes, I tried leaning back against the tree for support, but my aching legs wouldn’t let me remain standing even a second longer. I saw the world beginning to spin in my vision, and just before everything went black again, I felt myself falling into a pair of warm arms. Almost reflexively, I curled into the warmth.
Shit. I can’t carry him back. I wasn’t in the position I wanted to be in, per se, but I knew for sure that there’s no way I could get him back to the guest house on my own. I watched him as we both stayed there on the frigid ground; him curling up against me, and I didn’t know what else to do, so I just held him. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him for a second. It felt like if I did, he’d just…stop breathing. As I watched him, his breathing was even, I think. That’s something I was supposed to watch out for when someone passed out right? Shit. I can’t remember. Why the hell was he even out here to start with? Damn it all…I tried to get him to wake up, but no matter what I tried, he just wouldn’t. I was stuck.
I looked around for anyone at all, and that’s when I saw a beacon of hope coming from the distance. A beam of light was cutting through the trees. Oh thank god, someone else was out here. I just hope it’s not some serial killer…but what if it is a serial killer?! Oh god, could I get Arvo out of here? I can’t just leave him here and save myself. No, no, this isn’t a movie, this is real life. Arvo could really die right now in my arms. Get it together, Lake! Okay, I need to do something, and that beam of light is getting closer. Without another thought, I called out to it. “Help!!” I screamed.
The beam froze, then directed itself in our direction.
“Please! Help!” I screamed out again. It wasn’t until I heard my own voice crack that I realized how scared I was. My arms tightened more around Arvo, feeling his breathing starting to slow down. “Oh god, please! No, no, no, no, no–Arvo, no please don’t–-come on, buddy, please hang in there.” I pleaded with his unconscious body as I tried to jostle him awake. When he didn’t move, I just held him closer, praying that it was enough to keep him from freezing to death.
“Hello?!” A voice came back toward me, and my heart leaped into my throat as I recognized it. “Who’s there?!”
“Coach!! Please, hurry!!” I could feel my eyes stinging with tears as the flashlight was now quickly approaching. I could hear the snow crunching as Coach Devon’s footsteps got closer. “It’s Arvo!”
Finally, with the coach standing in front of us, he put up a paw to his muzzle. “Oh my god, Arvo! Lake! Is he…?” He asked, kneeling down beside us with two fingers pressed under Arvo’s jaw.
“I-I-I don’t know! I think he’s still alive, but I don’t–”
“No time!” I almost jumped out of my skin as he spoke in the same way I heard him command his players. He let out a sigh, and then looked at me with outstretched paws. “Give him to me. I’ll carry him and we’ll bring him back to the guesthouse to get him warmed up.” He tried to give me a reassuring smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s going to be okay, Lake.”
I helped him pick Arvo up, and we began running back to the guesthouse. My chest was on fire as the cold air bit at my lungs, but I couldn’t let Arvo down now. Not when he was there for me when I needed him. Not when I couldn’t do anything besides hope that he didn’t die. Please, God or whoever you are, weaver of fate, don’t take him now… I prayed as hard as I could inside my head.
There was a cup settled in front of me which broke me out of the cage my mind had put on me. There was a teabag inside and steam wafting from the rim. “It’ll warm you up, and might calm you down.” Coach’s voice was gentler now, comforting almost.
I didn’t really drink a lot of tea, but I was grateful for the distraction. “Thanks.” I brought it up to my mouth immediately, burning my tongue. “Hah…hot…”
I couldn’t tell for sure, but I think the coach actually laughed. “Yeah, sorry about that. Cold tea isn’t really conducive for getting you warm.” He looked off over to the other bed in his room, and I followed his eyes to the tiger lying there under three different blankets, including his own and one from Arvo’s room. His breathing hadn’t slowed any more, and it was continuing to be even. “I think he’ll be okay, but I think we should get a doctor here first thing tomorrow morning to make sure.”
“Yeah…” Was my voice always that hollow? I don’t know. It didn’t feel genuine. “I just wish…I knew why he was even out there.”
The coach’s sigh made me look at him. “And you didn’t see anything else, at all? Just found him out there?”
“Nothing, Coach…”
“Just ‘Devon’ is fine when we’re not at the university, Lake.” He said, smiling. I could tell that although he was just as worried about Arvo as I was, he was worrying about me too. It was really…sweet, as weird as that is. “I just…I can’t imagine why he was in pawcuffs and tied to a tree.” He watched the tiger. “Where did they even come from?”
With a shake of my head, I looked back at him. “I don’t know…” I blew across the rim of the tea cup and finally took a drink. It was a sweet, but spiced tea. It had a nutty taste to it that was different than anything I’d had before, and there was a cooling sensation like I’d just chewed a whole pack of chewing gum. I remember doing that once, and man was my mom pissed. She said that if I was going to be wasteful like that, she’d just never let me have another treat ever again. I remember the moment like it was just yesterday. It wasn’t until I looked at Coach again that I realized he was asking me something. “Sorry Coach, I was…somewhere else. What were you saying?”
He sighed again, and I could feel my ears flatten back at the sound, but he gave me a reassuring smile. “I said that if it wasn’t for you finding him when you did and helping him down from there, he probably wouldn’t have made it. You’re a good friend to him, Lake, and you should feel proud of yourself for helping him.”
His words caused tears to prick at the corners of my eyes. Come on Lake, don’t cry in front of the living embodiment of manliness. I blinked them back and I couldn’t help but smile with him. “Thank you Co–er…Devon.” It felt weird, but in a good way, to call him by his name. Almost like he’s a person, and not just a gym teacher or a sports coach.
We settled into an uncomfortable silence that was tinted with worry; one that found both of us staring at Arvo. It felt like my body was flooded with electricity; I couldn’t sit still. Never was the best at waiting for anything, but this felt so much different. My leg bounced uncontrollably as every bit of my being was wanting to walk over to the tiger asleep not even 10 feet from me and shake him awake. I tried to look somewhere else, anywhere, on anything that would take my mind off of him, and my eyes settled on Coach Devon. I watched his eyes unblinking as the red mug he held in his paws wafted steam onto his whiskers. The lamp in his room was casting a betraying warm white into the room, but a shudder crept up my spine as I watched him. His eyes were piercing, focused, but definitely glassy. It was like he was on the verge of tears himself. “Hey Co–Devon…” He kept his eyes on Arvo, but he twitched his ear. “Do you have…any kind of like…medical training?” I mentally slapped myself for how ridiculous a question it was.
He hummed and nodded. “As a coach, I have to have some first aid knowledge for when one of my players gets injured. If I’m not mistaken, don’t Norwegian schools mandate learning first aid too?” His eyes turned to look at me for an answer, much softer than the piercing, worried gaze he had on Arvo.
“Oh uh, I…I’m not sure about Norwegian schools, but in Finland we could elect to take it. I mainly took it so I could feel kind of useful in stressful situations, but I’ve forgotten a lot of it.” I couldn’t help the sigh that left me, and I watched Devon’s eyes go even softer as he turned his head.
“You should get some rest, Lake. I’ll keep an eye on Arvo and if anything else happens with him, I will let you know personally.” His voice was tinged with concern for me, and we both looked at Arvo.
“I can’t, Devon.” I felt the words flowing before I could stop them, “I can’t leave him here. When he wakes up, I want to be there…I doubt I’d be sleeping much anyhow with how much has happened.”
Devon was quiet, and I expected another sigh, but when I looked back, his eyes were closed in what appeared to be thought as his teacup rested against his lips. Finally his eyes opened and he looked at me with a warm smile. “I can’t fault you there. I’d want to do the same thing if I was in your position.” His face and voice fell stern, “as your educator, however, I cannot let you miss any rest.” His expression then turned worried. “I’m also worried about you, too. What were you doing out there so late in the first place?”
“I…” Shit, of course he’d ask that. “I just…needed to clear my head. There’s something going on that–”
“You can’t talk about?” He finished for me as the words hitched in my throat. I could only nod as I silently pleaded with him. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright…can you at least tell me if there’s anyone else I should be concerned about?” I shook my head, not wanting to dive further, and then he hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe you could at least talk to a couple of his friends that we sit with; I know they all seem to be close with Arvo and might want to know about him so that they don’t worry too much.”
“I…yeah. I think Jørgen is still awake. I’ll go talk to him if that’s alright?” I felt a lump in my throat. “I just…want to make sure I’m here when he wakes up, so please don’t…don’t lock me out from that. Is that okay…Devon?” I realized only then how scared I was. It felt like my stomach was going to turn on its head, and my heart felt like it was being ripped in two.
He walked over and knelt down in front of me, looking me squarely in the eyes as I was effectively pinned here by this hulking man. He put his paws on my shoulders and then did something I was entirely unprepared for: he hugged me. “Never.” He said softly, his larger paws rubbing over my back. “I couldn’t ever forgive myself if I robbed you of that moment.” I felt my paws moving on their own as they hugged him back. My breath hitched in my throat and I sniffled. It was then that I fell completely apart. I cried as Devon hugged me. “It’s okay, Lake. I promise…” He repeated over and over.
Devon’s tea was delicious, but it was only just comforting the pain and heartache that I was feeling. Damn…first I have my own thing going on, and now this? I couldn’t have picked a worse time to ask to be alone.
The light in the halls of the guesthouse were casting their warm white glow on the walls, the low hum of the incandescent bulbs nearly imperceptible to most, no doubt, but when I walked by any of the lamps, it felt like I had a thousand angry bees right beside my head. I paused to look at myself in the mirror, seeing my reflection looking just as down and dejected as I felt. There’s no way that I could let Jørgen see me like this. I knew he wouldn’t be awake, I don’t know why I felt the need to lie to Devon, but it didn’t seem right for me to stay there any longer. I forced on the smile just like I had all day today, and continued down the hall.
After a quick text to Jørgen, he surprised me that he was, indeed, still awake. I nearly ran up to our room where I found him at the table, sipping on the hibiscus tea that he seemed to really enjoy. “Lake, you’d better have a good reason for keeping me up.” His cold voice spoke without looking at me, but when he did, I saw his expression shift. “Oh…” I tried so hard on the way here to hold it together, but that look…I couldn’t contain myself. I sniffled, and I felt the tears welling up again. “Oh, Lake…” He stood up and met me in the doorway. “Come in, come in.” His paw on my back guided me to a chair as he shut the door behind us. “Now, now…” He said, taking a napkin and wiping at my face. “Tell me, what’s going on?”
“It’s Arvo he…he’s…” I tried to choke out the words but I had to calm myself down first. “I found him out in the woods pawcuffed to a tree and I don’t know how long he’d been there, so I tried to get him down but then he passed out and he’s still passed out and Jørgen he’s down there with Devon but I don’t know how–”
“Whoa, whoa, wait…” Jørgen interrupted me, taking my paws in his. His expression was unreadable. “One thing at a time Lake. Arvo was…pawcuffed to a tree?” His expression turning into a scowl.
“Yeah…the key was at his feet but I had so much trouble finding it in the snow and I feel like if I had only gotten there quicker–wait…Jørgen?” His expression was filled with rage. “Do…do you know something about this?”
He looked off, finally baring his teeth as he growled. This was a side of Jørgen I’d never seen before. “I can’t believe how foolish I was…” When he looked back at me, his eyes were now filled with remorse, and tears threatened them. “Were they jet black steel cuffs with a key that looked like it was from an old cartoon jail?”
I closed my eyes, trying to remember anything that had happened in the past couple of hours, and then it hit me. “Y-yeah…those…those weren’t yours…were they?” I couldn’t imagine Jørgen doing this to Arvo, but I didn’t really have any other explanation.
“They…they belonged to me, yes. And Lake, I can already see what’s going on in your head: no, I did not lure Arvo out into the woods and pawcuff him to a tree.” He growled under his breath and hissed through his teeth. “But I think I know who did…”
I looked at him, feeling the fur on the back of my neck rising. “Then who was it?!” I was louder than I’d intended, but now I’d gone from worried to absolutely fucking PISSED . What I didn’t expect…was the answer he gave me. As he spoke the name, I felt a hard punch to my stomach.
“Mikko…” He paused before he continued. “He…he came to talk to me. He talked about alternative style, and when we got on the topic of accessories…I guess I got carried away talking about the belts and such, and he borrowed one of my outfits to try it out…” He couldn’t look me in the eye anymore. “The cuffs were part of that outfit…”
There was no way. Absolutely no way. I refused to believe Mikko could do this to Arvo…no way…right? They were best friends, hell, better friends than I was with Arvo. There was no way that Mikko would…but then again I haven’t seen him a lot here today.
“I’ll go to Mikko’s room and get my stuff back from him…I can’t believe I was such a fucking fool…” Jørgen spoke with genuine hurt in his voice.
I put my paws on his shoulders trying to reassure him, but my voice refused to be steady. “Hey. It’s…it’s okay. It’s not your fault and Arvo’s probably not going to die…probably…”
“You have such a way with words, Lake.” He said, rolling his eyes, but looked back at me with a smile. “Thanks…Now you should get back to Arvo. Where did you say he was?”
“He’s staying with Devon. We got him inside and wrapped him up with his blanket and the one from Arvo’s room.” There was a spot on the floor that became interesting to me, and I decided that talking to it was easier than looking at Jørgen right now. “Devon’s…really worried…do you think–?”
“No.” Jørgen cut me off before I could even finish my thought. “Like you said…Arvo’s probably not going to die…probably…” When I look back at him, he surprises me with another smile. “Go to him, Lake. I’ll go talk to Mikko. I’m sure Coach wants some rest too.”
I stood up, not waiting another second. I had to see Arvo for myself. As I was walking into the hall, I get a text message. Pulling the phone into my paw, I see it’s from Devon.
“ plz get down here quick. hes waking up”
My heart jumped in my throat. “Arvo’s waking up…!” I said, my voice cracking again as the words came out. I looked at the bat behind me, who was just putting on his poncho.
“Why are you standing here then? Go!!” He half-screamed at me with a smile on his face.
Nothing else needed to be said. Being as quiet as I possibly could be, I sprinted down the steps, running for Devon’s room. I took a second to catch my breath with my door on the handle. It felt nerve-wracking just standing in front of Devon’s door. I knocked softly twice, and then heard noise inside as the panther opened the door. “Come, quickly.” His eyes and face were full of relief, but it was no secret he was just as tired as I felt.
Walking inside, I looked over at the other bed, just as the tiger began shifting, he put his paw out from under the three layers of cover we had made for him. It didn’t take me more than a moment to take his paw into my own, holding on to it for dear life. I watched his face as his eyes began to slowly open. “Arvo…? Buddy, are you with me?” I said, trying to be quiet as Devon stood back a short distance.
I could feel myself floating in a sea of darkness. The immense pressure crushing the air from my lungs. At the same time, it felt as if every ounce of my body was weighed down by a million hanging rocks. Somewhere in this place was everything, but nothing at the same time. It was cold… I was cold. How did I get here in the first place? I was walking with Mikko, and then something happened…then I remember Lake, but he seemed like he was really distressed?
There was a warmth in my left paw, and I could feel it slowly starting to spread all over my body, but the stones that kept me in place while I was in this darkness definitely still had their hold. I could feel myself slowly being pulled deeper beneath unseen waters. I could still breathe, somehow, like a fish would, I’d imagine. I was dragged down until I finally settled on what I could only assume is the bottom. I didn’t feel like I was floating anymore now. I was definitely resting on the soft sands at the bottom of this endless ocean that I couldn’t even see.
The warmth in my paw disappeared for a moment, but then I could feel it again, this time much stronger and much more intense. It was comforting; like a bowl of hernekeitto. Slowly the darkness faded away, only to be replaced by what I could only describe as blinding light. There were two shadows that took on figures that I thought I recognized, and when the light faded, I saw Lake and Devon standing over me, Lake’s paws tightly gripping mine.
“Arvo…? Buddy, are you with me?” Lake’s voice was shaking, and his eyes were red. I could see that there were streaks of matted fur down his cheeks. Was he crying? Why was he crying? My head was pounding, I could barely feel my ears, my neck felt like it’d been scratched a million times over using sandpaper, and my wrists were burning. I still felt like I was freezing, despite being inside and wrapped under what looked like three different blankets.
I opened my mouth to say something, but at that moment, my traitorous lungs tried to expel something, and I began to cough. I felt Lake and Devon help sit me up as I coughed, the burning in my lungs dissipating slightly as I gasped for every breath I could. Lake’s paw rubbed at my back, and I had to admit that it felt extremely comforting. I don’t know for sure that it was helping, but it did feel comforting. After what felt like too long, the coughing subsided and I noticed then how dry my throat was. I looked at Devon pleadingly and patted the fur just below my chin, hoping he would understand.
Thankfully he did, as with a nod he went around the corner and I heard the sound of water being poured in a glass. While he was away, I looked over at Lake. The lion looked like he had been awake all night. I didn’t know what time it was now, and I hope I didn’t miss too much of the camp, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Lake had slept at all between when I was in the woods and when I got here. Truth be told, the guesthouse was the last place I really wanted to be, but having Lake here, gripping my paw, rubbing my back, concerned for me…it felt nice. It felt like I was finally somehow getting a grip back on reality after being in that darkness for so long.
When Devon rounded the corner again, he had a glass filled with water in his paw, which was my saviour in this moment. I took it from him and immediately tipped the glass back, with some soft reminders from Lake to take it slow, I slowly felt the fire in my throat dissipate and smolder. I knew I had to ask Lake about Mikko, but I didn't want to do that while Devon was around. Mikko was right to feel how he did. After all, I was definitely too much of a coward, and I can't imagine how long he held that against me. His words echoed in my ears, but I just stared at the blankets on top of my legs.
"Arvo?" Devon's voice broke the silence first. "Are you feeling better?" He was smiling, and it looked like he was just relieved to see me.
"Y-yeah…yeah." My voice was still hoarse and it hurt to speak, but I was alive.
And how badly I didn't want to be.