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Neil puts his hands on his hips, surveying the last tangle of wire he’d wound around their room, inching along the walls and even dipping its way across the top of the bookshelf and above the bed. They’re inactive and dim at the moment, but he thinks that they look good even like this, and he takes a moment to feel proud of buying them and putting them up.
Through the open door, Andrew’s voice can be heard from the kitchen, no doubt finishing up the last of the snacks. “Have you turned our bedroom into a light up disaster yet?”
Neil huffs and calls back, “I think they look good!”
He hears Andrew hum, doubtfully. The asshole.
“I’m waiting for you to turn them on, hurry up!”
Neil swears that that only makes Andrew go slower. The wait is agony; he flops down on the bed with a great sigh, torn from his throat unwillingly. This is what he has to put up with everyday. Can you believe it?
“Alright, alright, I’m here,” Drew says as he stomps through the doorway, and even in a pair of slippers his steps are as loud and as blunt as always. They make Neil smile, and he rolls over onto his back just to watch his favorite person put a plate of cookies and two glasses of eggnog on the bedside table, dark brows furrowing as they take in the beauty of Neil’s latest passion project.
“Are these fairy lights?”
Neil perks up immediately, smile growing as his eyes start to shine in excitement. “Aren’t they pretty?”
Never one to dismiss anything that made Neil genuinely happy, Andrew smiles something small and real, just the two corners of his mouth slightly turning up - but to Neil, it might as well be something monumental with how happy it makes him just to see. Andrew’s been smiling more often lately, ever since winter break started and it was determined that the two of them would have the Columbia house to themselves this year, Aaron with Katelyn and her parents and Nicky off to stay with Erik.
Neil had gotten offers from Matt and Dan to go spend the holidays with them and their family, but between anything else and the choice of Andrew, well. He was only ever going to choose this.
It was nice to be able to relax this year. To decorate and bake pastries Neil would try but inevitably leave to Andrew to polish off. Getting to have a tree and wrap presents, ones that weren’t just for show. Wearing matching sweaters just because they could. Trying new things and creating new traditions that Neil wanted to do again, year after year.
He’d always thought that winter was just bone deep cold and brutal survival, but this year Andrew and the rest of the Foxes showed him how different it could be. Between video calls with the others and texts from Kevin reminding him to keep in shape, along with being able to just bewith Drew, Neil was hardly given the chance to be alone.
With enough time, even the face of a cliff would erode under water. That’s how Neil felt this winter - all of his hard edges had been softened, until he was left like this, too big and too small for his body, thankful and finding happiness everywhere he looked. The bright fluorescent lights turned everything fuzzy and turned every old house and familiar piece of furniture into something completely new, exciting.
He didn’t think he’d ever stop being grateful at being alive to see it.
Andrew flicks him on the forehead, and Neil groans, throwing his arms up over his eyes. “Why?” he mumbles.
“When you start getting lost in your own head, I know I need to bring you back before you get any ideas.” Andrew raises a brow, leveling an unimpressed look at him. Unfair.
“When have I ever had a bad idea?” Neil asks, completely sincere. Andrew snorts, which causes him to pout.
“Turn your lights on before I run out of patience.”
Neil hums, trying to affect a pensive tone of voice even as he starts to grin. “What happens if you do?”
Andrew takes a seat beside him on the bed and leans over, the little crinkles at the sides of his eyes something so precious that Neil feels his heart twist in fondness. “I’ll kill you,” he says, pressing a kiss to Neil’s jaw. He feels himself melt as he leans over for a kiss of his own, one he leaves on Drew’s forehead, soft and sweet and light as a feather.
“How romantic,” Neil quips, half meaning it.
They settle in close to each other and have their fill of the snickerdoodles, sugar and cinnamon the perfect combination with the chewy dough that Andrew made. He tries his first ever taste of eggnog, and even if it is very sweet, he finds he likes it, especially the spices that turn it into something of a new favorite. The two of them bicker and tease each other, at ease with the warmth and peace that comes with being so familiar with someone that the intimacy you share ends up being something that is so much and so right. Like a blanket you pull over yourself before you go to sleep. Like a hand you hold, not letting go. It’s like that.
This time last year, Neil Josten had been so sure that he wouldn’t survive past winter. Right now, he’s just glad he’s here at all.
He finally knows just why people love the holidays so much, instead of being the boy who sits at the dinner table watching plastic play pretend, or the kid held tight to his mother in some stolen car or abandoned apartment. His parents are dead. Neil gets to decide how he feels about it all now, and it’s never felt so big.
He finishes off the dregs of his eggnog and turns to reach for the plug in for the lights. “This is going to be amazing,” is what ends up coming out of his mouth, impulsive for all that he means it. As soon as they turn on, Andrew pulls him in by the waist until Neil’s halfway over his lap; he laughs and lays there with his head over Drew’s knee, looking up at all the lights and feeling happy.
A thumb presses down on one of his dimples, and Andrew asks, “Yes or no?”
Neil threads his fingers with Drew’s, tells him his answer, and lets himself get lost in the taste of sweetness and smoke.