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While Kacchan was great at giving reporters quotes—sharp, pithy comments that were prime, eye-catching material for an article header—his patience for prolonged interviews was shorter than his temper. In order to prevent a disaster, PR-related or otherwise, anyone looking for a sit-down interview needed to have both Izuku and Kacchan. They either got the Wonder Duo or they got no one.
Izuku didn't mind. They were a team, partners in a partnership. When they were together, they worked.
When apart...
Kacchan had his phone in one hand and his other hand pressed to Izuku's burning forehead. He sucked his teeth. "Yeah, this dork's got a fever. I'm not letting him out of bed, let alone on some studio set."
"I'm sorry," Izuku said with a forlorn sniffle. He wrapped the blankets more snugly around himself.
"Hope those talk show hosts have a second act in mind. What? Because I got to stay here and make sure Japan's number one hero doesn't pass out in front of the stove and die making himself a can of soup. No—no, I'm not—are you shitting me? How about this, you can tell them to suck my—"
Izuku quickly sat up. "Kacchan," he said, reaching for Kacchan's cellphone. Kacchan growled as he handed it to him, grumbling under his breath. "Hello, Ms. Maeda."
"Hello, Deku. I'm sorry you're feeling under the weather." Ms. Maeda always called them by their hero names. She was a no-nonsense type, professional and to the point. She managed their images as pro-heroes and was interested only in Deku and Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight. Some might have thought her cold, but Izuku knew her to be extremely passionate and entirely focused on her work. Ms. Maeda lived and breathed hero work just as much as he did, despite the differences in their occupation.
"Thank you. But Kacchan's taking care of me, so I'll be fine soon. But I'm sad I'll be missing the interview."
"I'm sure watching Dynamight live will cheer you up."
Izuku spluttered, "But, Ms. Maeda—we don't—Kacchan and I always interview together."
"There's no such thing as always, Deku. If Dynamight is still hearty and hale, then he's going. I think the public will get a kick out of seeing him hold his own against Hirano and Merry. Stop pouting."
"I'm not pouting," Izuku said with a pout. "I just—Kacchan—"
"Dynamight is an adult and a pro-hero. He is more than capable of answering questions about himself for an hour. Get some rest. I want you in tip-top condition for your talk at the museum opening next week. Now, please give the phone back to Dynamight."
Izuku mumbled a goodbye and mouthed Sorry as he handed the phone to Kacchan.
Kacchan groaned. "Yeah, I'll do the interview, goddamn. But if they want me to talk for an hour, then they'll get me for an hour, got it?"
An hour of pure, unfiltered Kacchan.
Izuku was sure that they didn't know what they were getting into.
The interview wouldn't start for another two hours, but Kacchan had to leave now. The drive to the studio, make-up, and and prep would take some time, plus, Kacchan thought being even fifteen minutes early was cutting it close to being late.
Today, though, he sat scowling at his boots as he laced them up. Izuku sat at his side, extremely congested.
"I'll be watching your interview, Kacchan," Izuku offered.
That brought out a smirk to Kacchan's face. "I bet you will, fanboy."
"I'm Kacchan's number one fan."
"Stop making me want to kiss you when you're all snotty and shit." Kacchan shoved him back into bed and tucked the blankets up to Izuku's chin. "Medicine and water's on the end table. Heat up some soup if you're hungry."
Izuku grinned. "What soup, Kacchan?"
"The soup in the fridge."
"What soup is that?"
"Oh, for fuck's—the soup I made just for you, asshole. You happy now?"
"Of course I am," Izuku said, snuggling against the pillows. "Kacchan made me soup. Kacchan's the most amazing boyfriend."
"See if I do it again. Next time I'll just let you starve."
"No, you wouldn't, because that's not heroic," Izuku said in a sing-song voice. Then he coughed, and it sounded absolutely horrible, like he had rocks rattling around in his chest.
Kacchan's expression softened. "Hey, I can cancel."
Izuku thumped on his chest with his fist, grimacing. "No! I'm fine. I'll take my medicine and drink my water and eat my soup. Get going—you don't want to be late."
With obvious reluctance, Kacchan walked to the door. He turned, gave Izuku a grin, and said, "Keep your eyes on me, nerd."
"Always, Kacchan," said Izuku.
Fifteen minutes before Kacchan's interview, Izuku bundled himself up in blankets and shuffled to the couch. He had a bottle of water and a box of tissues on the coffee table.
He was sick and tired and nervous, but he was also shaking with excitement, because he never got to enjoy Kacchan being interviewed from the comfort of their own home. He hugged his Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight plush pillow to himself as he waited. Kacchan hated it because he said that it looked like a cross between a gingerbread man and a porcupine wearing his costume. Izuku loved it because it looked like a cross between a gingerbread man and a porcupine wearing Kacchan's costume.
On the television screen the hosts greeted the audience. They were a good pair. Hirano, a former actor who Izuku's mother thought was very suave, and Merry, an ex-idol who was known for her bubbly personality and her bright smile and eyes and, well, everything—Izuku found her luminescence quirk fascinating. Together they made a well-balanced team, putting even the most stoic of guests at ease with their banter and questions.
It was the other guest, Wada, that gave Izuku pause. A public figure who Izuku supposed could technically called a journalist, though he was more a gossip than anything else, constantly searching for scandal for his website dedicated to spreading rumors about celebrities and heroes alike. His articles were always ridiculous, tactless, or both. Just the other week Izuku had seen a piece on Kirishima's heartbreak after his recent divorce. Kirishima had actually called Kacchan, befuddled and concerned, asking him if he knew who he'd been married to. Kacchan had thought that hilarious, but then, it would be another thing entirely if Wada tried to insinuate anything about him. Hopefully Merry and Hirano kept the conversation on track.
Hirano opened with an obvious observation. "Alone today, Dynamight? It's almost unheard of to see you without your partner."
"Deku's indisposed." Kacchan leaned back in his seat. Without Izuku by his side, his guest couch looked enormous. He was like a king on a throne, observing his court with disinterest.
Merry pressed a hand to her heart. Her nails shimmered. "Why, what could be more important than talking with us?"
"He's got a date with a bowl of soup and some cough medicine."
"Ah, I see! So he's not only great at catching villains—Deku can also catch a cold!" Hirano said with a wink. There were chuckles from the audience, and more laughter when Merry groaned and rolled her eyes.
Then she jumped in her seat as if jolted with a bolt of electricity. "Wait! Maybe we shouldn't have said anything. Won't hearing about Deku's illness mean criminals will get bolder until he's recovered?" asked Merry with a gasp.
Kacchan grinned with all his teeth. They gleamed under the camera's light, bright and sharp. "All it means is that they'll be dealing with me and me alone." He looked so fierce and handsome. Izuku could only imagine how he must appear to the audience, who were all seeing him in the flesh. His reply prompted cheers and loud applause and even a wolf whistle.
Izuku smiled at the screen as he hugged the Dynamight plush. So far things were going great! Kacchan was at ease, and the audience clearly loved him. But his pleasure faded as Wada cleared his throat.
"It must be kind of nice to be by yourself, though, right?" the man asked. Izuku had only ever read his articles, but his voice was much like his writing style—smug, as though he already knew the answer to the question and was only asking to so he could enlighten everyone with his superior knowledge.
With a snort, Kacchan said, "Just means I have to work harder to pick up his slack."
"Oh, yes, but isn't it true that absence makes the heart grow fonder? After all, you and Deku are partners in every sense of the word—surely it's nice to have a break once in a while?" It was well-known that neither one of them took kindly to any sort of attempt to pit them against one another. Wada was obviously poking and prodding in order to provoke Kacchan into snarling a response that be could plastered all over the magazine covers the following morning—probably something about how Kacchan's anger obviously masked a troubled relationship. Izuku held his breath, digging his fingers into the poor Dynamight plush, praying that Kacchan wouldn't take the bait.
Kacchan, thank goodness, only raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't call laying in bed with a fever a break."
"You're playing coy," said Wada.
"I'm not playing shit. I don't get what you're asking. I prefer Deku out on patrol with me watching my back, and I'm sure everyone else would prefer him out there with me, too. I know our PR lady is sure as hell missing him now."
The audience laughed. Wada gave Kacchan a condescending smile. "Let me rephrase the question, since you're having so much trouble parsing my meaning. You've been together since high school." Kacchan gave a curt nod. Wada went on, "Don't you ever wonder if you—missed out?"
Kacchan's brow furrowed. "Missed out on what?"
"Oh, well, you know, the fun of dating—"
"Me and Deku go on plenty of dates," Kacchan said. He looked absolutely baffled. "Movies, restaurants, amusement parks, the hero museum, all that shit," he said, counting the locations off on his fingers. The audience rippled with a mixture of awws and laughter. Izuku couldn't hold back his grin. Their last date had been to the aquarium; he had some great photos of Kacchan trying and failing not to look delighted at a herd of seahorses peering curiously at him through the tank.
"But you were together even before the both of you debuted as pros. And now you're in your twenties and you're a household name."
"We're both well-known."
"I'll say! The top hero duo and the top two heroes in the nation! When people talk about heroes, it's impossible not to talk about the two of you!" Hirano finally jumped in to the interview away from their guest. "Oh! Speaking of, we have some quotes from fans here. Let's bring them up on the screen."
Sure enough, on the large monitor behind them, a comment from a fan blared: Considering turning to villainy so Dynamight can kick me in the stomach and spit in my mouth.
Nose wrinkling, Kacchan turned to the camera and said, "Ugh, well that fantasy's staying in your head. It ain't happening."
"Oh, goodness! Let's try a less graphic comment!" Merry gave a wave of her glittering hand and now the screen showed: great explosion murder god dynamight please sir warn someone before modeling again my heart cannot handle seeing another shirtless fitness photo shoot on the billboard on my way to work
They had good taste. Izuku had copies of every photo from that shoot, including the ones that hadn't been used. He'd turned it into a photo album. Occasionally he took it out and admired them out loud until Kacchan got flustered and told him to, "Put that shit away and stop being so fucking embarrassing," blushing all the while.
On the television Kacchan only grumbled in response to the second social media post.
Wada shrugged as if his point had been proven. "See? So, what I'm asking is, considering your popularity, do you ever feel like you might have missed out on the dating scene?"
Izuku could see that Kacchan was growing irritated. He was bouncing his knee, and his arms were crossed, one finger tapping at his bicep, his jaw clenched. "No," Kacchan replied.
Both Wada and the hosts waited. When no further answer was forthcoming, Hirano asked, "Why do you say that?"
"Because Deku's the best. Why would I waste my time with anyone else?"
Only Kacchan could be both so romantic and so himself at the same time.
"Well, we all know Deku is the number one hero—" Wada ignored Kacchan's mumbled, We'll see about that next quarter. "But there's no telling how good he is in other areas if you don't have anyone else to compare him to."
That was rude, Izuku thought with a sniff. He blew his nose into a tissue, frowning.
Kacchan leaned forward in his chair. "You're going to want to be very careful," he said in a low, dangerous growl, "about how you talk about my partner."
"I don't think Wada meant any harm," Merry quickly said with a small, nervous giggle.
But too late, Kacchan's fuse had been lit. Izuku could tell from how his muscles tensed, how that vein in his neck was visible as ground his teeth. He sneered, "Oh, yeah? Wada's a big boy. He can tell me exactly what he meant."
To Wada's credit, he looked straight into the face of danger and without missing a beat smiled and asked, "You don't regret not sowing your wild oats?"
Kacchan's expression turned murderous. He stood. The entire studio went silent. The audio echoed each heavy step of his boots as he advanced upon Wada like a wolf on a wounded deer. "You got a lot of interest who I'm fucking. And you haven't even bought me dinner."
"Dynamight, please don't misunderstood—" Poor Hirano, trying to salvage the situation.
"Fuck you, I didn't misunderstand shit. I know exactly when me and my partner are being disrespected. Sowing my wild oats—the fuck kind of shit is that? Here's a statement for you, asshole—the only person I'm plowing is in our bed right now—"
The broadcast suddenly cut off, leaving Izuku staring at a B-roll video of the city while pop music from one of Merry's own albums played in the background.
He coughed. The plush pillow Dynamight gave him a baleful stare.
"That went better than I expected it to," Izuku told it.
Izuku got a busy signal when he called Kacchan and Ms. Maeda. He figured that the latter was really laying into the former and that, well, what was done was done, so he hoped that Kacchan hadn't caused any large amount of property damage and napped on the couch with the plush pillow Dynamight resting on his chest.
He woke with a start as Kacchan barreled through the front door, grumbling curses and kicking of his boots. "Fucking—"
"Kacchan?"
Kacchan cursed more quietly. "Aw, hell! I didn't know you were out here. Did I wake you?"
"Nuh," Izuku mumbled blearily, rubbing at his eyes.
"You're a shit liar. You feeling better?"
"I am."
A warm, rough, familiar hand cupped his cheek. His boyfriend gave him an appraising look. "Yeah, you look better." Kacchan felt his forehead, fingers tangled in Izuku's sweaty curls. "Fever's gone down, too."
"It's because I ate the soup you made me."
"Yeah, well—what the—" Kacchan's eyes zeroed in on the plush pillow Dynamight. "Get that stupid shit out of here!" Plush pillow Dynamight was cruelly cast to the cold floor and given the finger.
"Kacchan! Don't be mean!" Izuku scrambled to recover it; he dusted it off and placed it back on the couch with a little pat on its head.
"I'm plenty mean." Kacchan wrapped his arms around Izuku's waist. "Did you see just how mean I was?"
"All of it, at least until they cut the broadcast."
"Figures. Live studio audience saw it, anyway. Let's see what the gossip headlines are like tomorrow."
Izuku sighed. He could only imagine what Wada would have to say about the whole thing. "I tried to call you and Ms. Maeda, but I couldn't get through."
"Yeah, she was busy chewing me out."
"I did try to warn her. You just can't be left by yourself. Who knows what trouble you'll get up to. Ow! Kacchan!" He whined as Kacchan pinched his cheek.
"That's my line, nerd! You're like a puppy. Can't look away for two seconds without you getting into shit." Kacchan held the side of his face, and Izuku leaned into his touch. "Fuck that asshole. Acting like we're some kinda reality television couple in a gossip rag."
"I know. He was rude, and obviously trying to get you angry."
"Well, it worked. So what? I don't want anyone talking about us like that. Talking about you like that."
"Protecting my honor," Izuku said with a smile.
Kacchan's face flushed. "I'm—there to protect you when you can't," he mumbled.
Izuku practically melted in his arms. "Oh, Kacchan," he murmured, leaning forward for a kiss.
Or, he would have, if Kacchan hadn't put his entire palm over Izuku's face and held him there. "I'm taking a rain check, nerd. You're still diseased."
"Kacchan!" Izuku whined.
"Izuku. Get back to bed." His tone brooked no argument.
With a huff, Izuku made for the bedroom. Behind him he heard Kacchan's cellphone vibrate, and Kacchan answer, "Maeda, I—no. No, absolutely not. He can cry all he wants, I'm not apologizing for shit! He oughta be thanking me for not punting his ass right through the wall—"
In the morning, Izuku found his ability to breath through his nose significantly improved. He inhaled and smelled freshly steamed rice and miso soup. Invigorated by the scent of Kacchan's cooking, Izuku hummed and grabbed his phone from its charger. Part of his morning routine was to check the news for any villain attacks during the night, or to see if any of their friends had been featured in a video or an article so he could comment on them.
Speaking of which—
How had the world reacted to Kacchan's interview yesterday? Izuku gulped when he saw that Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight was once again trending.
But to his surprise and relief, the articles were extremely kind. Kacchan had repeatedly answered Wada's question, only for Wada to push when Kacchan hadn't given him the answer that he wanted. Most of the commentary seemed not to focus on Kacchan's rage before being cut off, but on his impassioned defense of his partner in hero work and life, Deku.
Impassioned. Izuku liked that. Clips and gifs abounded with Kacchan saying, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "Because Deku's the best. Why would I waste my time with anyone else?" and rattling off all the places they'd gone on dates.
Who knew Dynamight could be so sweet? one article concluded.
Delighted, Izuku scrambled to the kitchen to show his boyfriend the news. "Kacchan! Kacchan, look!"
Kacchan, wearing pajamas and an apron and holding a pan with a still-cooking omelet, screeched, "What the fuck are you doing up? Get your ass back in bed, dork!"
Yes, Kacchan was very sweet, in his own Kacchan-like way.