Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The bell chimed as another customer entered the cafe, and Wooyoung scrambled his way back to the register, setting down a steaming cup of coffee at the bar on his way and yelling the name loud enough for the neighbors next door to hear. Breathless from the morning rush, Wooyoung ran a hand through his bangs, already reaching for a new cup and sharpie before he realized who the next customer actually was. 

“Hongjoong,” he greeted in undisguised surprise, though nothing about this was actually unusual. Hongjoong always came around for his morning coffee, and though he did skip some mornings, this was a Wednesday. Ever since the start of the year, Hongjoong had faithfully taken his spot at the corner booth every Wednesday and Friday, and he quirked a brow. “Sorry, sorry,” Wooyoung continued, smacking his own forehead. “Forgot what day it is - the usual?” 

He received a nod in return, and Wooyoung passed the cup over to Yeosang, the only other coworker who worked the opening shift at this godforsaken place. “Hongjoong wants-” 

“The usual, yeah. I got it,” Yeosang finished, somehow always able to keep his composure intact even in the middle of a morning rush. Wooyoung just made a face, going back to the register and taking the order of the next person in line, fidgeting with the strings of his apron. They were beginning to feel too loose around his waist, and he took a moment to retie them, wishing that the time would go by faster. 

Not that he didn’t enjoy his job - he actually loved it, for he loved talking to people and was practically born to stand behind a register. That being said, though, he had gotten about three hours of sleep the night before, and he was already regretting his decision to skip breakfast. He checked his watch for the second time in the last five minutes, sighing upon the confirmation that it still wasn’t time for his break. 

The morning continued on in the same fashion, with Wooyoung eventually forgetting about his rumbling stomach as he chatted with the regulars and made the drinks, and he didn’t even realize when it was time for his break until Yeosang forcibly shoved him away from the register. “Go eat, you idiot,” he grumbled, and Wooyoung’s entire face lit up, already taking off his apron and throwing it over one of the chairs against the back wall. 

“Thanks, Yeosang!” He called over his shoulder, not waiting for a response as he grabbed two large pastries from the display case, popping them into a paper bag and crushing the top part in his fist. He emerged from behind the counter, headed straight for the corner booth. Hongjoong was seated there as usual, his laptop open and a look of concentration on his face, though he glanced up when he heard Wooyoung’s footsteps approaching. 

“Hey,” he greeted, and Wooyoung slid into the seat opposite him, enjoying the comfortable cushion of the seat after being on his feet all morning. He dropped the pastry bag onto the table, ripping it open and tearing a piece from the first one. The moment it touched his tongue he made a sound of contentment, wiping the sugar from his hands with a napkin. 

Hongjoong watched him with a fond smile, and Wooyoung swallowed, his stomach thanking him for the food. “So,” he started, already reaching for another piece of the pastry. “What kind of groundbreaking thing did he do this time?” 

He watched as his friend’s face lit up, and Wooyoung sighed in exasperation, though he couldn’t hide his smile either. “Okay, well, he sat next to me again! He’s been doing that every time now - I feel like it’s a good sign,” Hongjoong gushed, and Wooyoung had to hold back his laughter, for his friend sounded like he was still in middle school. 

“Did you actually say anything to him this time?” Wooyoung asked, and Hongjoong nodded eagerly, which he supposed was progress. Hongjoong had been too scared to talk to the so-called “very pretty man” in his Tuesday and Thursday night psychology class for the first several weeks, even though Wooyoung speculated that he spent a larger portion of the lecture staring at the guy - Seonghwa was his name - than he did actually paying attention to the material. 

“He asked if the seat was taken, even though it obviously wasn’t and he obviously knows that since he’s sat there so many times - I think he just wanted an excuse to talk to me! So I told him it wasn’t, and he sat down,” Hongjoong explained, with heart eyes so massive that an outsider probably would have thought he was telling the story of a marriage proposal. 

Wooyoung nodded in earnest, as if this were the most groundbreaking story he had ever heard. “Wow, sounds like he’s completely smitten,” he agreed, and Hongjoong’s smile grew wider, if that was even possible, before he detected the sarcasm in Wooyoung’s tone. His smile turned into a pout an instant later, and Wooyoung laughed lightly, shoving another piece of pastry into his mouth. 

“Oh come on, Hongjoong. I’m just teasing you - you know I live for these stories.” And it really was true - Wooyoung had wanted Hongjoong to act on his crush for ages, and though his current stories didn’t seem like much progress, they were worlds better than the updates he used to give. He left to go to the bathroom halfway through the lecture today, Hongjoong had said once, stars in his eyes . Wooyoung rolled his eyes just thinking about it. 

“Okay, well, how about this - I did find out something else about him last night,” Hongjoong enticed, and Wooyoung leaned in conspiratorially, resting his chin in his hands. “Our professor asked us a question about our personal experiences when it comes to psychology in relationships, and Seonghwa raised his hand. Of course the professor called on him, and he said that he’s a couples therapist, so he has observed a lot of different relationships in his field.” 

Now that was actually interesting… Wooyoung could already feel an idea forming, and he tried his best to keep the smile off his lips. “Oh, yeah? And did you then tell him that you’re actually an adjunct professor of interpersonal psych yourself, but you still have issues with actually talking to the man you’ve been obsessing over for months?” 

Hongjoong’s change in expression was comical, and Wooyoung burst into laughter before he could stop himself, fully aware that nearly everyone in the cafe had turned to stare. It wasn’t his fault that his laugh was incredibly loud, and he was used to the looks by now, not even sparing them a glance as he grinned at his friend. “I’m just kidding, Hongjoong. But seriously, you never actually say anything to him. He probably thinks you hate him.” 

Eyes widening in alarm, Hongjoong abruptly shut his laptop. “Do you really think so?” He asked, and Wooyoung shrugged. 

“I mean, if it were me, I would want you to actually talk to me,” he reasoned, but Hongjoong scoffed. 

“That’s because you’ll die without constant attention. I would know.” 

“Oh, shut up.” 

~

For the rest of his shift, Wooyoung merely went through the motions of taking orders and passing the cups over to Yeosang, his mind occupied by the new piece of information Hongjoong had shared with him. Seonghwa is a couples therapist. This was the first real thing that Wooyoung had learned about him, other than his name, and it was hard to find the exact man in Hongjoong’s class based on first name alone. He had tried. 

But now… well, now he actually stood a chance, and as soon as he made it back to his apartment after his shift, he sat down at his computer and began his search. 

‘Seonghwa couples therapist’ seemed like a good place to start, so he typed the combination of words into the search bar and limited the results to his location, waiting for them to load. Sure enough, he received several results that seemed like they could lead to something useful, and he clicked on the top one first. “Crescent Couples Counseling,” he murmured to himself, eyes scanning over the website’s front page. 

The logo was simple, and the welcome page was fairly basic, so he moved the mouse to click the drop down menu in the upper right corner. “Our message… schedule with us… location…” Wooyoung bit his lower lip, surprised at how many different parts of this website there were. Just as he was considering clicking out of the website and going to the next search result, he found what he was looking for, and a mischievous smile spread along his lips. 

“Perfect,” he breathed, clicking on the ‘Meet our Therapists’ option, the screen loading for a moment before displaying a new page. Wooyoung clapped his hands together as he stared at the list of names - he was allowed to be dramatic in the comfort of his own apartment, and he hadn’t been this excited about something in a while. 

He wasn’t sure of Seonghwa’s surname, so he carefully scanned over each name on the list until he found the one he was searching for. Park Seonghwa. Wooyoung was willing to bet that this was him, for what were the odds that another couples therapist named Seonghwa lived in the area? He clicked on the name, hoping for a photo that would at least confirm that this man was young enough to be Hongjoong’s love interest. 

And sure enough, the small rectangular photo that popped onto the screen was most definitely the man Wooyoung had been hearing about for months. He had heard enough of Seonghwa’s appearance to recognize the length of his hair, the bangs that hung down slightly into his eyes, the prominent cheekbones and pretty smile on his lips. 

Jackpot. 

The plan was already rapidly forming in his mind, and he leaned back in his desk chair, staring at the picture on his computer screen. Hongjoong would never be able to do this on his own, that had been made very clear by his countless meltdowns over his own awkwardness, and Wooyoung prided himself on being an incredible wingman. Not that he had ever done something like this before, but he just had a feeling that it would go over flawlessly and Hongjoong would be thanking him. 

Not that Hongjoong would know about it - at least not yet, not until he achieved his goal of getting the two of them together. Hongjoong would most definitely murder Wooyoung if he knew what he was planning, and Wooyoung tended to be more of the ‘ask for forgiveness, not permission’ type anyway. 

Minimizing the website page, Wooyoung pulled up his document software instead, opening a blank page and already switching the font color to red. He typed in big capital letters, his fingers flying over the keys as he knew exactly what he wanted to say, smiling to himself. 

FAKE BOYFRIEND FOR HIRE, it read. WILL PAY IN COFFEE. CALL THIS NUMBER IF INTERESTED. He had listed his own phone number below, along with a few requirements for said fake boyfriend. Namely, not an old creep, and not a high schooler either. Among a few other very reasonable things. 

Satisfied with his work, Wooyoung reached over to turn on his printer. The idea was slightly outrageous - he knew that, but he still figured it was worth a try. If no one called from the flyer, then he could always wander around town and try to find someone that way. Wooyoung could be very persuasive, and he knew he wasn’t bad to look at either. 

If he ever found a flyer like this one, he would call the number immediately, because how many people actually had the chance to be involved in one of those fake dating stories? Surely someone else out there would feel the same way and give him a call - he could almost feel it. This was going to work, and he was going to go down in history as the best wingman there ever was. 

Most coffee shops had a message board up on the wall somewhere, though Wooyoung knew he couldn’t use the board at his own cafe since Hongjoong was there so often. He was pretty sure the cafe a few streets over had one, too… though it pained him to have to use the message board of their main competitor. 

Still, it was for the greater good, even if that meant his potential fake boyfriend was a traitor. Wooyoung would have to show him what good coffee tasted like, that’s all. Pleased with his plan, Wooyoung stashed the flyer in the bag he always brought with him to work, already planning to make a pit stop the next morning. 

~

Two days later, Wooyoung received a phone call from an unknown number on his walk home from his shift at the cafe, and he fumbled for the accept button, nearly dropping his phone in the process. “Hello?” He asked breathlessly, praying that the voice on the other line would be a real person and not a robot telling him his car insurance had expired - Wooyoung didn’t even have a car. 

“Hi, is this, um, whoever posted that flyer at the Coffee Bean?” Wooyoung pulled a face at the name of the rival store, but he still nodded his head before realizing that the man couldn’t actually see him. 

“Oh, um, yes,” he responded a beat late, his cheeks flaming. “This is he - this is Wooyoung. My name is Wooyoung.” 

“Okay, well, it’s nice to meet you, Wooyoung. Or, well, not to meet you, but to talk to you. Um,” the man stuttered, and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, grateful that he wasn’t the only one who had apparently lost the ability to speak. How was he supposed to help Hongjoong overcome his awkwardness if he couldn’t even answer the damn phone correctly?

Clearing his throat, Wooyoung composed himself, getting down to business as he walked along the sidewalk. Despite his adult age, he still made an effort to avoid the cracks in the cement, his steps slightly awkward as he skirted around a large one. “Just because you called doesn’t mean you automatically get the job, you know. I still have to make sure you aren’t a creep. Or a child,” he informed, and a laugh carried through the phone. 

The sound was pleasant, and Wooyoung’s lips unconsciously tugged upwards at the corners. “Yeah, well, you also made that clear on the flyer. I was reading it mostly out of curiosity, because it’s not every day that you come across a headline like yours, but I burst out laughing when I read the fine print. I mean, you could’ve been a little less blunt,” the man said, but Wooyoung shook his head. 

“Um, no. There are some weird people out there - you could be one of them, for all I know.” 

“‘Lose my number if you still use Facebook’? Really, Wooyoung?” The man was laughing again, and Wooyoung felt his face warm at the sound of his name spoken by that voice. “I know plenty of people who still use Facebook. That doesn’t make them weird.” 

“Well, do you?” 

“No.” 

Wooyoung sighed in relief, loud enough for the man to hear, and he reveled in the laughter that came through the phone yet again. He had a feeling he was going to like this guy, if only because he was laughing at all of Wooyoung’s jokes. “What’s your name, anyway?” he asked, for that was important to know about his potential fake boyfriend. He prayed it wouldn’t be awful - that could be a deal breaker as well. 

“San,” the voice answered, and Wooyoung grinned. He could see himself pretending to fight with a man named San in couples therapy - it felt right. 

“Okay, San,” he continued, walking along the curb, placing one foot in front of the other and doing his best to maintain his balance. “So you want to be my fake boyfriend, huh?” 

“Well, yes - I heard there was free coffee involved, and I happen to be addicted to caffeine.” 

Wooyoung stopped in his tracks, grin spreading as he clicked his tongue. “That’s too bad - I do believe that drug addiction was listed in the fine print. I guess this won’t work out after all.” 

Protests came through the line instantly, and Wooyoung cackled, enjoying himself way too much. “Okay fine - I’ll let it slide. Tell me, San. How old are you?” 

“Twenty-four. Not a creep, or a child. I think I’m perfect for you,” he answered, and Wooyoung nearly lost his balance on the curb, windmilling his arms to keep from stepping down onto the road. He was glad that San hadn’t been physically around to see that. 

Plus, he couldn’t deny how perfectly this seemed to be working out, for they were practically the same age. “You’re awfully bold. It’s okay, I like that kind of thing,” he quipped right back. “Okay, well, I can’t fully confirm that this will work out until I see you in person. Because, you know-” 

“‘This won’t work out if you’re ugly.’ Yes, I’m fully aware, Wooyoung. I told you that I read the fine print.” 

Wooyoung laughed lightly, the sound carrying along in the breeze and melting into the chirping of the surrounding birds. “Well, this has to be realistic, as I am quite good looking,” he mused, setting San off into another round of laughter. 

He collected himself after a moment, though his next words were still laced with joy. “I knew that the person who made a flyer like that would have to be quite the character, but this has been beyond my expectations,” he said, and Wooyoung could hear the smile in his voice. It was contagious, and his own lips curved to match. 

“Well, you’ll be thrilled to know that you will have the privilege of meeting me next. The Coffee Bean, tomorrow? I’m available all afternoon,” Wooyoung offered, actually excited at the thought of meeting San in person. If this conversation was any indication of how they would get along, then he just might get a new friend out of this whole ordeal. 

“How’s four o’clock?” San asked, and Wooyoung agreed, rounding the final turn and seeing his apartment complex come into view. He figured the call was just about over, and he opened his mouth to say goodbye before San spoke again, his voice curious. “Just wondering - what do you actually need a fake boyfriend for? Like are we trying to impress an ex here, or rebel against your parents, or…” 

His voice trailed off, and Wooyoung shook his head fondly, pleased with himself. “Oh, no. Nothing as silly as that - this is a high stakes operation.” And with that, he ended the call, sliding his phone back into his pocket and enjoying the rest of his walk home.

~

“You want me to attend couples therapy with you?” San asked, his voice loud enough to turn a few heads, and Wooyoung ducked down further into their booth, his coffee sitting untouched on the table. He had bought San a coffee, as stated in their agreement, though the gesture had been pretty much negated when San had insisted on buying him one in return. 

“Keep your voice down,” Wooyoung hissed, pulling his beanie down further, trying to hide his face as much as possible. 

San quirked an eyebrow, his expression one of disbelief. “You buy me coffee, and then as soon as we sit down you tell me that we’re going to couples therapy. No ‘hello’, ‘how are you’, ‘I’m Wooyoung’. Just couples therapy.” And despite his blunt words, he was grinning, twin dimples indenting his cheeks.

Wooyoung loved dimples. 

“Well, if you give me a minute, I’ll explain,” Wooyoung responded, darting his eyes around the cafe to make sure no one was still watching them before sitting back up in his seat. 

However, before he had the chance to explain anything, San was interrupting again. “And why are you dressed like some kind of criminal? Who shows up to the Coffee Bean in all black clothes, complete with a beanie and sunglasses? It’s not even sunny.” 

Wooyoung blushed, tugging the sunglasses free from his face and shoving them in his bag. “You don’t understand - I am committing an act of betrayal by even being here,” he whispered, and San leaned in closer, the collar of his shirt gapping away from his chest and revealing the skin beneath. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” San asked, though he at least had the decency to whisper in return. 

“Well, if you’d let me explain, then you would know!” Wooyoung countered, and San raised his hands in surrender, displaying some very impressive deltoids. Not that Wooyoung was staring or anything. “I am a barista at the Early Bird, but I couldn’t put up my flyer in my store, so I had to use the message board here, even though this store is our biggest competitor. And now I had no choice but to meet you here, and you were trying to be nice by buying me a coffee but I can’t possibly drink it. The coffee here is god awful.” 

San chuckled, muffling the sound with his hand as he reached over and slid Wooyoung’s coffee over to his side of the table. “It’s fine - I’ll drink both. Caffeine addiction, remember?” Wooyoung gave him a look of disapproval, and his laughter only grew in volume. “You know, I didn’t realize that baristas took their jobs so seriously. I mean, every one I’ve ever met just seems like they’re counting down the seconds until they get to leave.” 

“That is not true!” Wooyoung protested, laying a hand over his chest to emphasize how scandalized he felt. “I happen to love my job, as do most of my coworkers. The reason why you think that is because you come here to get your damn coffee - this place sucks. No benefits, and I’ve heard the owner is an asshole.” 

Taking another sip of his coffee, San raised a brow, making a show of swallowing with a satisfied smile. “I mean, the coffee tastes pretty good to me,” he said with a shrug, and Wooyoung crossed his arms. 

“You’re teasing me on purpose,” he grumbled, and San shrugged his shoulders, not at all ashamed of himself. “Well, what do you do for a living then? Since you’re so determined to make fun of me, it’s only fair that I at least understand where your superiority comes from.” Wooyoung mentally tried to make a guess, though all he could focus on was the broad set of San’s shoulders and the chiseled slopes of his face. He was definitely very in shape - perhaps he was some kind of fitness instructor, or he worked a job involving a lot of physical labor. Like a mechanic or a carpenter or something. 

San seemed to notice Wooyoung’s examination, for an amused expression came over his face. “I’m a preschool teacher,” he answered proudly, and Wooyoung couldn’t keep his mouth from falling open, for that was perhaps the last answer he had been expecting. Not only was San extremely physically attractive, but he also spent his days preparing little kids for kindergarten? It felt too good to be true, and he vaguely wondered if he was being pranked. 

“I don’t believe you,” he blurted before he could stop himself, and San tilted his head in puzzlement. Wooyoung blushed, feeling the need to clarify and wishing for the millionth time in his life that he actually possessed a filter. “I just can’t picture you teaching kids all day long - you don’t look like a preschool teacher,” he explained, though now that he actually considered it, the mental image of San surrounded by adorable children was terrible for his health. 

Reaching into the pocket of his jeans, San pulled out his phone, tapping on the screen and shoving it in Wooyoung’s direction. “Well, is this proof enough?” he asked, and Wooyoung squinted at the picture on his lock screen, his heart stuttering in his chest. The photo had clearly been taken in a classroom, with San seated on a carpet with the letters of the alphabet printed on it, surrounded by a bunch of little kids all beaming up at the camera. 

Sitting back in his seat, Wooyoung swallowed forcefully, feeling suddenly lightheaded. “Um, I guess so,” he managed to say, distracted by the thoughts flying around inside of his head. How the hell had his ridiculous ad attracted the most perfect man he had ever managed to come across in his twenty-three years of life? 

“So,” San continued, returning his phone to his pocket and leaning forward, “you still haven’t explained why you posted a flyer asking for a fake boyfriend to attend couples therapy with you, and I must admit that I am very curious.” He lowered his voice conspiratorially as he spoke, as if they were sharing a secret, and Wooyoung grinned. 

“I know it’s not conventional,” he started, “but it will be fun. Basically, my best friend Hongjoong has an embarrassingly massive crush on this guy from his psych class, and he just recently found out that Seonghwa - that’s the guy - is actually a-”

“Couples therapist,” San said at the same time as Wooyoung, their voices overlapping. He shook his head in disbelief, though his eyes were sparkling. “Oh, my god. You’re, like, actually insane. You need a fake boyfriend so you can pretend to fight with him in couples therapy, all so you can actually talk to this guy that your friend likes?” 

Wooyoung nodded, for that was exactly right. He was actually impressed with how quickly San had caught on - it was a shame that their fake relationship would need to be full of conflict, for he had the feeling they would have done a great job of feigning compatibility. “Yes, pretty much - although I would also like to get some actual information out of Seonghwa as well. Like, if he knows so much about couples because he’s already in a relationship, or if there are any potential men on his radar…” Wooyoung pondered this for a moment - he would find a way to bring it up. He always found a way. 

“You should probably also find out if he’s gay,” San deadpanned, and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, repressing the urge to laugh. 

“Well, obviously. I’m pretty sure he is, though. It seems to me like he does like Hongjoong, but Hongjoong is too fucking awkward to say more than a word to him in return.” Hence, where Wooyoung would come in, for he prided himself on being bolder than he probably should be. “So, there’s your explanation. Satisfied?” 

In the time Wooyoung had been speaking, San had drained the first cup of coffee, the cup making a hollow clunking sound as he placed it back on the table empty. “You know, I really feel like I should be questioning this more, as it is incredibly weird, but it sounds like fun. It’s not every day you get to try and convince a therapist that you and a total stranger are actually a couple in need of their assistance.” He shrugged, tapping his fingers against the table. “Plus, it doesn’t hurt that my fake boyfriend is pretty cute.” 

Wooyoung choked on air, coughing into his fist and searching for a way to move the conversation along - San was shameless. “So, is that a yes?” He asked, and San nodded without missing a beat, his dimples appearing as he smiled. 

“Alright, then, we should establish some facts - well, fake facts, but Seonghwa won’t know that. So that when he asks us about our relationship we don’t blurt out conflicting answers and ruin everything,” Wooyoung continued, mentally compiling a list of questions they would probably be asked. “How long have we been dating?” 

San considered this, resting his chin in his palm. “Can’t be too short, but too long might be suspicious. How about two years?” 

Two years sounded plausible, so Wooyoung nodded. Reaching into his backpack, he pulled out a small notepad and flipped it open to keep track of their falsified love story. “Okay, and how did we meet? That’s probably important,” he mused, thinking for a moment before answering his own question. “Oh, how about this - you were a regular at my cafe, and you were so captivated by my stunning good looks and amazing personality that you eventually found the courage to ask me out,” he explained proudly. 

With a wink, San agreed. “That works - maybe minus the embellishments.” Wooyoung shot him a glare, and he chuckled. “I’m just kidding. As your fake boyfriend, I promise to shower you with compliments.” 

“But you’re my fake boyfriend that I’m fighting with,” Wooyoung pointed out, although it pained him to do so, for he rather liked the sound of so many compliments. From San, especially. 

“Okay, okay, you’re right. I swear, I will take my role seriously,” San swore, pressing a hand over his heart, and Wooyoung came to the realization that he was kind of a dork. “Do we live together?” He asked next, and Wooyoung shook his head. 

“I don’t think we should - that might make it more confusing to keep our story straight,” he decided, not sure if they would be able to successfully tackle that can of worms. 

“Okay, but what even is our story?” San asked, effectively stumping Wooyoung, for he hadn’t made it that far yet. “LIke, why are we in couples therapy? What was the final straw?” 

Wooyoung chewed his lower lip for a brief moment, considering the question. It would need to be something believable - not too outrageous, but also not easily resolvable. “What even brings people to couples therapy?” He wondered, for he didn’t possess a wealth of knowledge on the topic. Perhaps he should have done more research. 

“Uh… cheating?” San offered, and Wooyoung instantly shook his head, eyes wide in protest. 

“God no! I’m trying to get information about Seonghwa while also making him like me - that is, like, the worst idea you possibly could have had,” he rejected, and San’s eyes widened comically as well. 

“Well, I’m not saying I condone cheating - I’m not a horrible person! I just figured that must be a big reason for couples to seek therapy,” he defended, as if genuinely afraid Wooyoung was questioning his morals. “I would never cheat on you.” 

Wooyoung drew an X through the word “cheating” in his notepad, his lips curling upwards. “Well, it’s good to know that my fake boyfriend is loyal,” he teased, and San deflated, eyes wandering around the cafe as they both tried to think of another plausible reason. 

Clicking his pen absentmindedly, Wooyoung had an idea. “How about this - tell me what you’re like in a relationship. A real one,” he clarified, and San smirked. “That way we can figure out which of our qualities conflict, and our reasoning for going to therapy will actually be somewhat based in fact, so it’ll be harder to tell that we’re lying.”

Moving on to his second coffee, San contemplated this for a moment. “That’s not a bad idea, actually,” he admitted, and Wooyoung’s expression turned smug, eliciting a grin from his companion. “I’m really loving - sometimes too much, and I always go out of my way to shower the person I love with gifts and compliments and romantic gestures - all of that stuff. Sappy, I know, but it’s important to me that they know they’re loved.” 

He shrugged his shoulders as if he hadn’t just described Wooyoung’s ideal man, taking a sip of his drink. “That doesn’t help at all,” Wooyoung said flatly, and San raised his brows as he swallowed. “I love attention - I think you just outperformed every real boyfriend I’ve ever had.” He hadn’t intended to say the last part out loud, and he was about to open his mouth to take it back when San beat him to it. 

“Well, maybe you and I are compatible, then,” he remarked cheekily, and Wooyoung resolutely tried to ignore his dimples, cheeks burning. Instead he stared at the collar of San’s shirt, avoiding his face entirely, though it didn’t help much - he had wonderfully sculpted pectorals as well. 

“For someone who only just agreed to all this, you definitely have the fake flirting part down,” Wooyoung deflected, staring down at his notepad and missing the soft, knowing smile San cast his way. “Seriously, though, how am I supposed to find a way to be mad at you for that? It won’t work. My turn - I have plenty of annoying attributes, so something will probably work.” 

Not that Wooyoung looked down on himself - he couldn’t change who he was, and he was very comfortable in his own skin. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t aware of his more questionable behaviors, however. “Let’s see. I’m extremely loud - like expect-noise-complaints-if-you-invite-me-over loud, I have no filter and it constantly bites me in the ass, my laugh can be headache inducing according to Hongjoong, I am overly affectionate to everyone I know, and I never stop talking. Among other things.” He fired off the list in quick succession, hardly taking a breath as he raised a finger with each new point he made, counting them off. 

San just stared at him for a second, his mind likely trying to catch up after being bombarded with so many words. Wooyoung was sure that something off his list would work until San just shook his head, lips pursed and his expression more serious than Wooyoung had seen it thus far. 

“No, we’ll have to think of something else,” he stated firmly, and Wooyoung parted his lips in surprise. “I don’t want to use one of your traits as a source of conflict, even if it’s all pretend. Those things are all a part of who you are - it’s wrong for me to act like I don’t like them. It feels mean, and I happen to be very nice, so let’s just think of something else, okay?” 

Honesty practically exuded from his words, his eyes completely earnest, and Wooyoung felt his heart grow warm like the glow of the sun on a clear spring day. Despite the ridiculous circumstances, San cared about not hurting his feelings, and it touched Wooyoung more than he wanted to admit. 

“Okay,” he agreed, and they shared a soft smile before Wooyoung felt the need to lighten the mood. “So, can we center the conflict around how you lied to me about your drug addiction?” 

San spluttered, nearly spitting out the sip of coffee he had just taken, coughing wetly and covering his mouth with a napkin as his cheeks turned pink. “Wooyoung,” he groaned, though his eyes were full of mirth. “It’s just coffee!” 

Finding this to be hilarious, Wooyoung burst into laughter, collapsing against the back of his seat as he watched San recompose himself, several heads turning to stare at the commotion. Wooyoung found that he didn’t care at all - even if the whole world was watching, he had a feeling that he would still be able to be himself around San. 

He settled down eventually, San’s expression still sheepish, and an idea came to mind just as he was beginning to take pity on his fake boyfriend. “Oh!” Wooyoung exclaimed, and San looked up at him, expression wary. “No, this is actually a good idea, I swear - what if we pretend that you asked me to move in with you, but I said no, so now our relationship is awkward and kind of crumbling so we need help!” 

It seemed like a good, neutral source of conflict, and San seemed to agree, his face lighting up in excitement. “That sounds perfect,” he decided, and Wooyoung jotted the idea down in his notepad, drawing tiny stars around it. 

“Okay, now that we figured that out I think we’re ready,” he said, flipping the page to where he had written down the phone number of Seonghwa’s workplace. “Crescent Couples Counseling,” he read aloud, sharing a grin with San across the table. “I don’t think they’re ready for us.”

“They definitely aren’t,” San agreed, and Wooyoung couldn’t believe how much he was enjoying this. He had known he would, but finding an accomplice like San had far exceeded his expectations, and he could hardly keep himself still as he pulled out his phone and dialed the number. 

Before pressing the call button, he looked over at San, remembering that they needed to schedule the appointment for a time when they were both available. “This time next week work for you?” Wooyoung asked, and San nodded. 

“Yeah, my class dismisses at 2:30 every day, so any time after that is fine,” he confirmed, and Wooyoung pressed the call icon, pressing a finger to his lips. 

San obeyed, keeping his lips firmly closed as Wooyoung beckoned him to lean closer, their heads just inches apart as Wooyoung held the phone between them. He couldn’t put it on speaker because the cafe was too noisy, but he wanted San to be able to hear the call. With their faces this close together, Wooyoung could smell San’s cologne, some kind of woodsy, faintly herbal scent. So he smelled good, too - Wooyoung wasn’t even surprised anymore. 

“Hello, you have reached Crescent Couples Counseling, how may I help you?” The voice was female, and Wooyoung tried his best to emulate someone who would actually be calling this place to book an appointment. 

“Hi, my name is Jung Wooyoung, I would like to book an appointment for my… partner and I,” he explained, for the word ‘boyfriend’ felt too casual. 

“Okay, I can help you with that. Jung Wooyoung, is that correct?” He affirmed. “And what is your partner’s name?” Wooyoung opened his mouth before drawing a total blank - how had he not asked San for his full name? 

San silently laughed into his hand, and Wooyoung felt his own amusement stir. Oh no, he thought. I will not start laughing. But why did everything seem funnier when he wasn’t allowed to laugh?

Too much time had passed, and Wooyoung waved his free hand urgently at San. To his credit, San tried to mouth the words, but he was terrible at it and Wooyoung had always been awful at reading lips. 

“Sir?” Came the woman’s voice, and Wooyoung had to clamp his mouth shut to keep the laughter at bay. San was hunched over the table, his upper body shaking with the force of his amusement, and Wooyoung could see tears gathering in his eyes. He mouthed the words again, and this time Wooyoung finally understood, 

“Choi San!” He blurted, his voice way too loud, and San collapsed in his seat, slumping over in the booth, his head hidden from view. All Wooyoung could make out were strange squeaking sounds as San positively died of laughter, and Wooyoung felt so relieved that a wide smile spread over his face, his cheeks aching from restraint. 

A brief pause sounded through the line before the woman’s voice returned. “Very well. Do you have a preferred therapist for this appointment?” She asked patiently. “All of our therapists are listed on our website, if you would like to request a particular one.” 

“Yes - Park Seonghwa,” Wooyoung responded instantly, and San began to sit back up in his seat, wiping his eyes. “Is there availability Wednesday at four?” 

“One moment, please,” came the voice, and Wooyoung could vaguely hear computer keys tapping. “Yes, Wednesday at four with Seonghwa is available. He is one of our best, don’t worry. He will be able to help you and your partner.” 

San was listening again, and Wooyoung panicked, searching for the right thing to say. “Oh, um, thank you. I’m really torn up about all this, you know? It’s been a rough few… months? Yeah. Months. I, um, need help,” he said dumbly, wincing at himself as San lost it all over again. Wooyoung covered his mouth with his palm, exercising more self restraint than he ever had in his entire life as he tried not to burst into laughter. 

“You’re taking a very important step by making this appointment,” the woman comforted, and Wooyoung nodded solemnly. 

“Thank you,” he responded, covering up a laugh by faking a sniffle and doing his best to resolutely ignore San. 

The phone call had felt like it had lasted hours, and when the woman finally confirmed the appointment and hung up on her end, Wooyoung felt like he had just run a marathon. He set the device down and rested his head in his hands, peering up at San through the gaps in his fingers. “How bad was it?” He asked, and San tried his best to school his expression back into seriousness. 

“Well, she definitely thinks you need therapy,” San replied, a grin still pulling at his mouth, dimples shifting as he spoke. “How the fuck did we talk so much and forget to share our full names?” 

He shook his head in disbelief, both of them sitting in silence for a little while as they processed the disaster phone call, until Wooyoung remembered another important thing. “Wait - you still have my number, right?” He asked. “You know, in case I think of any other obvious things that we didn’t cover.” 

“Yeah, I saved it, don’t worry.” San drained the second coffee, setting it down beside the first. “Although, even if I hadn’t, it’s plastered on the wall right there.” Wooyoung jerked his head to follow the path of San’s finger towards the message board where his flyer still hung, bright red letters visible from their booth. 

“I’m offended that you didn’t tear it down once you decided to call me! For all you know, I could get another call right now and fake break up with you,” he insisted indignantly. 

San curved a brow, unimpressed. “I think you are vastly overestimating the amount of people who would agree to something like this. Not to mention the amount that would actually be eligible - you ruled out almost everyone in the fine print.”

“Not you, though,” Wooyoung countered cheekily, and rather than quipping back, San just smiled. 

“Not me,” he agreed.

~

On the day of the appointment the following week, Wooyoung waited anxiously outside of his apartment complex, bouncing on his feet and checking his phone every few seconds. He had been texting with San pretty regularly since their initial meeting at the cafe, and upon learning that Wooyoung didn’t have a car, San had offered to drive him to the appointment. 

His morning shift at the Early Bird had breezed by, and he had spent the rest of the afternoon vibrating with excitement, for he had been waiting for this day all week long. He would finally meet Seonghwa and actually talk to him, all with San by his side as they pretended to bicker. How could that be anything but fun? 

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long before a sleek black car pulled up outside of the complex, the same model that San had told him to look out for. Wooyoung hurried towards the street, already beaming as San emerged from inside the vehicle, walking around to the other side and opening the door for him. 

“Your ride, my dear,” he said dramatically, sweeping his hand towards the open door, and Wooyoung smacked his chest. He should have expected San’s body to be firm with muscle, but it still took him by surprise. The interior of the car was black as well, and Wooyoung sunk into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt as San closed the door behind him, walking back around to his side. 

San glanced over to make sure that Wooyoung’s seatbelt was in place before he shifted the car into drive and peeled away from the curb, speaking over the soft rumble of the engine. “So, are you ready for this or what?” He asked, and Wooyoung grinned, wiggling his feet back and forth excitedly. 

“Seonghwa is gonna have no idea what hit him by the time he’s done with us. We’re about to be the most convincing fake couple ever,” Wooyoung replied, giddy at the thought. “I can already hear Hongjoong thanking me for my services.” 

“Our services,” San corrected, keeping his eyes on the road, and Wooyoung watched one dimple appear on the side of San’s face that he could actually see. “This is a team effort - this would never work if you didn’t have a fake boyfriend as great as me and you know it. I’m basically just doing you a massive favor.” 

Wooyoung shook his head, brows gathering in opposition. “Um, no, actually. It’s not a favor if I’m paying you, which I am, so your argument is invalid.” 

“You’re paying me in coffee, Wooyoung.” 

“It’s still payment! And you agreed to it, so what’s the problem anyway?” 

San smirked, his brows rising as he drummed his fingers on the wheel. “Well, I don’t see any coffee here today, do I?” Effectively stumped, Wooyoung slumped down in his seat and pouted, arms crossed over his chest. Perhaps San did technically have a point, but Wooyoung had been too excited to think of such things. He supposed that he was already beginning to forget that this was an arrangement for the sake of getting answers about Seonghwa - they two of them weren’t even really friends. 

“I’m just kidding,” San said as he came to a stop at a red light, his face slightly illuminated by the color. He glanced over at Wooyoung, unable to hide his smile at the dramatics. “I don’t even really care if you pay me - I mean, the coffee sounded great when I read the flyer, but after meeting you it doesn’t matter to me as much. Plus, I should probably work on that addiction of mine anyway.”

Wooyoung felt the right side of his mouth rise in a crooked smile, his heart content as he adjusted his position in the seat, sitting up again and staring out the window. “We have to be almost there,” he speculated, narrowing his eyes slightly to search for a couples therapy building - whatever that was supposed to look like. 

Several seconds passed before Wooyoung pointed at a sign on their right side, with ‘CCC’ printed in big letters. “That has to be it,” he decided, and San glanced at the sign before nodding and pulling into the lot. Mostly vacant aside from a few cars, he parked as far away from the windows of the building as he could. 

“So they can’t see us out here, just in case we break character,” San explained, and Wooyoung checked his phone for the time, unbuckling his seatbelt. 

“We should probably go inside,” he informed, turning the screen so San could see. “The appointment is supposed to start in five minutes, and they probably need to check us in and stuff.” 

They both exited the car, doors slamming shut in unison, the two of them meeting by the trunk. Wooyoung inhaled deeply, preparing himself to act his ass off, but he abruptly choked on air when San’s larger hand slipped into his own. 

He coughed into the fist of his free hand, looking down at their intertwined fingers and then up at San’s innocent expression, ignoring the butterflies that stirred to life in his stomach. “What are you doing?” Wooyoung hissed, and San squeezed his hand, which certainly did not lessen the effect this was having on his heart. 

“For appearances,” he explained like it was obvious, trying to pull Wooyoung forward to the office, but he refused to budge. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late.” 

“Okay, but we’re supposed to be fighting, so we can’t walk in there all enamored with each other. It wouldn’t make it any easier to fool these people,” Wooyoung reasoned, and San shrugged. 

“So you don’t want to hold my hand,” San concluded, pulling free of Wooyoung’s grasp, and Wooyoung floundered because he didn’t mean it like that. 

“No, that’s not what I-” 

“Oh, I see. So you do want to hold my hand, even though no one can see us right now, and appearances aren’t necessary. Got it.” he winked, and Wooyoung slapped his shoulder this time, cheeks flaming. 

“What - you held my hand first! You’re so annoying,” he grumbled, and San laughed loud enough to send a few birds out of the tree beside them, squawking irritably at the disturbance. 

They started towards the office, San’s smile practically blinding. “You’re just so fun to tease,” he laughed, throwing a casual arm around Wooyoung’s shoulders, even though Wooyoung stiffened and pushed him away a moment later. 

“They can see us now, you idiot!” He hissed, for they had come in sight of the windows now, and San instantly schooled his expression into one of mild annoyance. 

“Right, right, sorry - how’s this? Do I look annoyed?” He asked, and Wooyoung swallowed a laugh, forcing his own features to remain neutral. 

“You look constipated,” he answered bluntly, and San gaped at him before remembering the windows, forcing his mouth into a straight line even though his dimples betrayed his amusement. He shook his head as they reached the door, holding it open for Wooyoung and whispering for only him to hear as he passed. 

“Jung Wooyoung, you are unlike anyone I’ve ever met.” 

~

After checking in, the receptionist led them to Seonghwa’s office, her heels clicking against the wood paneled floor. Wooyoung was pretty sure she was the same woman he had spoken to on the phone, and he forced himself to act somber in front of her, not wanting to fuel any suspicions after the disastrous phone call. 

She seemed to be perfectly polite though, and she rapped her knuckles lightly against Seonghwa’s door, a sign with the therapist’s name engraved on it adhered to the outside. She pushed the door open gently, and Wooyoung peered inside, eyes finally landing on Park Seonghwa himself after hearing about him for ages. 

Seated in a plush leather desk chair, Seonghwa glanced up from a sleek silver laptop at their arrival, closing the computer and getting to his feet with a gentle smile. Dark bangs framed his face, and the ends of his hair brushed at his collar, long but elegant. He looked like some kind of long lost prince even in ordinary clothing, and Wooyoung could suddenly understand why Hongjoong was so enamored. 

“Hello, Wooyoung and San, correct? It is lovely to meet you,” Seonghwa greeted, his voice like velvet as he stepped around his desk and extended a slender hand to Wooyoung first, the closer of the two. 

Wooyoung grasped his hand and shook it, his skin impossibly soft to the touch. “I’m Wooyoung,” he introduced, and Seonghwa nodded once, breaking the handshake and offering the same gesture to San. Already Wooyoung could tell that he had been practically made for this job, his presence so calming and full of welcome that it came to him as no surprise that Seonghwa was one of their best. He felt like he could tell this man anything and not feel judged for it. 

The receptionist clicked the door shut as she left, leaving the three of them alone in the office. Seonghwa moved back behind his desk, setting his laptop to the side and gesturing to the two chairs opposite his own. “Please, have a seat,” he offered, and Wooyoung and San both shuffled over to the chairs. 

The cushions were soft and comfortable, and Wooyoung rested his arms on the sides, resolutely ignoring San as he smiled sweetly at Seonghwa. “So, how exactly does this work?” He asked, and San nudged him right in the place over his ribs where he was most ticklish. Wooyoung disguised his laugh as a cough, barely able to make out San’s retort. 

“Wooyoung, give him a chance to speak. Don’t be rude,” he scolded, and Wooyoung crossed his arms, glaring at San before turning his attention back to Seonghwa. 

“Sorry,” he grumbled, though he felt rather pleased to see how Seonghwa was studying them, clearly buying into their dynamic. 

The therapist smiled gently, making a point to shift his gaze between both of them. “It is quite alright,” he assured. “I am under the impression that this is your first time visiting a couples therapist?” They both nodded. “Okay, well I am going to ask you some questions so I can understand your circumstances and observe your dynamic. Please be honest with me, for I can’t help you if I don’t know how you both truly feel.” 

Wooyoung mentally went over all of the details they had decided on, and he could only hope that San remembered them as well - it would be really embarrassing if they exposed themselves so quickly. “How long have you two been together, first of all?” Seonghwa asked, and Wooyoung answered a beat later, his tone completely natural. 

“Two years. And a few months - our anniversary was in January .” He made up the anniversary part on the spot in order to make it sound more realistic, and he felt quite proud of himself when Seonghwa nodded, jotting the information down in a spiral notebook on his desk. 

Glancing up as he wrote, Seonghwa cocked his head slightly. “And, San, why do you appear to be so surprised about this?” Wooyoung stiffened, turning his head to glare at San, for sure enough he had been looking at Wooyoung in disbelief, probably because of how seamlessly he had lied. 

Wooyoung had always been good at that, but that wouldn’t matter if San blew it all now, and he discreetly jabbed his foot into San’s ankle. “Well,” San blurted, and Wooyoung had to focus on keeping his features neutral, “because Wooyoung has consistently forgotten about our anniversary both years! I bought him very thoughtful gifts, and he had no idea what the occasion was.” 

The answer took Wooyoung by complete surprise, but he did a better job of hiding it than San had, turning to face his partner. “Shut up,” he hissed, enjoying where this was going. “Stop trying to make me look bad already, we just got here-”

“Well, don’t go acting like you’ve ever cared about the date of our anniversary before! You just want to impress him, you fucking-”

“Please, both of you,” Seonghwa interrupted, eyebrows delicately raised. “I understand that you are both harboring a wealth of emotion and hurt feelings, and I promise that we will delve into such issues, but may I first continue with my questions?”

Wooyoung sank down in his seat, shifting as far away from San as possible, both of them mumbling their agreement. “Excellent,” Seonghwa continued, as if they hadn’t just quarreled right in front of him, although Wooyoung supposed he must have been used to that by now - he had probably seen way worse. 

He asked a few more basic questions about their relationship itself, all things they had previously discussed, and they answered each one without a hitch. Wooyoung had fully slipped into character at this point, and he could tell that San had too, both of them enjoying this far too much. 

“Thank you for your cooperation,” Seonghwa said, writing briefly in his notebook before looking at them both with earnest eyes, tenting his fingers against the table. “Now, with that all out of the way, I want to ask you what led you to seek professional help? What has been your biggest conflict currently, and how long has it persisted for?”

Wooyoung resisted a grin, opening his mouth to respond, but San beat him to it. “A few months ago, I asked Wooyoung to move in with me. We’ve always had issues here and there, but I still wanted a life with him always around, you know? So I asked, and he said no, and it hurt my feelings because we had discussed these things before and he had always made it seem like he wanted to live together. I still don’t understand why he would lead me on like that, and it has led me to question if Wooyoung even wants to still be with me.” 

San did a great job of sounding devastated, shaking his head in disappointment, and Wooyoung knew that it was his turn now. “You’re so full of shit,” he countered, mouth gaping open, a hand lightly pressed against his chest. “I said no because I wasn’t ready for that step, and instead of understanding that, you’ve been constantly asking if I’ve changed my mind and berating me over the phone about it! I don’t want to move into your tiny ass apartment with you - last time I went there, the same dirty dishes were in the dishwasher from the week before. That is disgusting, San. You disgust me.” 

Shock overcame San’s expression, his hands gripping the armrests of his chair. “My grandma died!” He exclaimed, face beginning to turn red - his acting was very convincing, much to Wooyoung’s continued relief. “I was too sad to do the damn dishes, and now you’re trying to use that against me? Fuck you!” 

“Well, I wouldn’t have said that if you hadn’t-” 

Seonghwa clapped his hands together once, cutting Wooyoung off and regaining their attention. “That was very telling, thank you. Both of you have reasons for the way that you feel, and I want you to understand that those feelings are valid, regardless of how your partner perceives them. But it is also important to acknowledge your partner’s feelings as well - a big part of being in a relationship is empathy and communication. You may not always see eye to eye, but I encourage you both not to dismiss the other’s feelings either.” 

They both nodded wordlessly, casting silent glares at one another. “Now, I like to begin every one of my sessions the same way, and even though most of this session has been occupied by the introductory questions, I would still like to show you what I mean now, if that’s okay.”

After receiving their confirmation, Seonghwa continued, flipping to a new page in his notebook. “How are you feeling towards your partner today? Not yesterday, or a few months ago - just today. By asking you this every session, it helps me to understand the place you are in each time, and knowing these feelings can help you both to better understand each other.”

Seonghwa directed his gaze towards Wooyoung first, his demeanor just as steady and calm as it had been at the beginning. “Would you care to answer first?” He asked, and Wooyoung nodded, his mind already turning deviously. 

“Today I wasn’t feeling too badly towards San - he only sent me two annoying texts this morning, which is low for him. But then he picked me up to come here, and he told me that I look ugly today, so that really upset me.” Obviously this was not true at all, but Wooyoung had come to the realization that it was quite fun to insult himself and pretend that San had been the one to say it. It felt wrong for him to insult San outright, and he had yet to find anything negative about him anyway. So this way was easier. And way more fun. 

San spluttered, impatiently waiting for his own turn, and Wooyoung struggled to keep the grin from his lips. “Thank you for sharing, Wooyoung,” Seonghwa responded, and Wooyoung gave him a timid smile, as if it had been difficult to share his feelings aloud. “San, what about you?” 

“I am feeling very distraught today, Seonghwa,” San answered, and Wooyoung shifted his feet in excitement, eager to hear how San would retaliate. This was like a game, only they were both insane enough to pretend it was real in front of an actual licensed therapist. “Wooyoung wasn’t being entirely honest - he first told me that he looked ugly, and I denied it, but then he kept insisting that he did until I eventually agreed just to make him stop, but he got mad at me for that and started yelling about how I’m lucky to have him because, apparently, he’s ‘the shit’ and I am… well, just shit. Whatever that means.” 

Wooyoung couldn’t prevent a laugh from escaping at that, the story taking him by surprise, and he clapped a hand over his mouth, trying to appear sheepish when Seonghwa looked his way. “Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed, but… I mean, you have to admit it was funny, right? I’m the shit - like, as in ‘I’m the best’ - and San is just… you know. Actual shit” 

He chuckled to himself again despite the silence. “Yes, I was able to put that together, thank you,” Seonghwa responded, a hint of disapproval in his words, though the calm smile still remained in place. Wooyoung cleared his throat, trying his best to compose himself, though he was having difficulty. 

“Thank you for sharing that, San,” Seonghwa acknowledged, his voice composed as ever as he took in the sight of both of them, San looking mildly offended while Wooyoung was clearly still amused. “Normally during your sessions, I will begin with that question, and we will go off of your answers to explore your dynamic and perhaps where you can be more understanding of one another. Unfortunately, we do not have time for that today, but I wanted you to experience what it will be like next time. I definitely want to see you both here again, as I think I can help you resolve the issues you’re both experiencing.” 

He closed the cover of his notebook, and San and Wooyoung both nodded, sensing that the session was drawing to a close. “Do either of you have any questions for me before you go? About couples therapy itself, or about your own experiences so far?” The genuine desire to help them was obvious in the open set of his face, and Wooyoung cast a look at San, not prepared to ask any questions of his own. 

“Um,” San started, meeting Wooyoung’s eyes before turning away quickly, probably so he wouldn’t burst into laughter. “I don’t think so. You’ve been really great, thank you for meeting with us.” He smiled politely, and Wooyoung mimicked the gesture, for despite their bickering he did want Seonghwa to like them. It would be awkward if he started dating Hongjoong and realized that one half of the couple that he hated was actually Hongjoong’s best friend.

Well, he knew it would probably be awkward regardless when Seonghwa came to understand their motives, but that was something to worry about ages from now. Wooyoung was very much the type not to dwell on future situations, and all he cared about was that he was enjoying himself in the present. Which he most certainly was. 

“You should thank yourselves for taking the first step to improving your relationship in the ways that you want. I am simply here to help you,” Seonghwa responded with a soft smile, pushing back his desk chair and getting to his feet. They both did the same, and Seonghwa crossed the room to the door, holding it open for them and grasping each of their hands again on their way out. “I look forward to seeing you both again.” 

Repeating the sentiment, Wooyoung stepped out into the hallway, and the two of them walked back out the way they came. Instead of stopping to talk to the receptionist, Wooyoung figured he would just schedule their next appointment over the phone, for he was too eager to discuss the session with San without any prying eyes around. 

They stepped out into the parking lot, and they both made a beeline for the car, speed walking to the back of the lot. Wooyoung cast a glance in San’s direction right as San did the same, and they both burst into laughter, unable to keep it together anymore. “That was fucking ridiculous,” San said through his laughter, his eyes shining. 

“That was fucking fun,” Wooyoung corrected, grinning so hard that it made his cheeks hurt. 

He rushed ahead and climbed right into the passenger seat of the car, waiting until San was inside as well and both doors were closed to open his mouth again. “I’m the shit? And you’re just shit?” he asked, still laughing. “How the hell did you come up with that on the spot?” 

“I didn’t,” San admitted, gripping the wheel but not making any move to pull out of the lot just yet. “One of my students said that to one of the other kids a few days ago - I had to tell her it was wrong to say, of course, but it sure was funny. It came back to me in a time of need, I guess.” 

Wooyoung shook his head in disbelief, seeing San in a whole new light. “I think I’ve really met my match with you,” he decided, and San was about to say something in return when Wooyoung sat straight up in his seat, his jaw falling open. “Oh my god! I didn’t even ask him a thing about Hongjoong, or about his type, or about… well, I didn’t ask him anything at all!” He couldn’t believe it, because that had been their entire reason for going, but he had been too busy enjoying himself. 

“Hey, it’s alright,” San said, still smiling. “There’s always next week, right?” 

He was right, of course, and Wooyoung found that he was quite pleased at the thought of doing it all again.