Archive of Our Own ^beta

Nate sighed as he looked around at his family. He had no idea how things had gotten this far out of control, but it was starting to wear on everyone's concentration. They were all in their places, mere moments from the opening act, but the tension in the air was so thick Nate could feel it pressing against him like a heavy wool blanket.

He remembered a time when everyone was happy, smiling and laughing up until the moment they stepped into the spotlight. But since Woolsey retired, everything had gone downhill quickly.

"Don't you dare fuck up again, Chaya," Sora said, pulling Nate's mind back to the present.

"Me?" Chaya asked, "I seem to remember you landing face first into Nate's chest because you released too soon."

Nate took a deep breath and turned away from his bickering troupe mates. He needed to try to get into the proper head space for the performance. Someone needed to be on their A game, and that someone was usually him.

He heard Elizabeth introduce the clowns, which was their cue to climb up onto the trapeze. Nate sighed deeply and headed out. Bates was his catcher tonight; he hadn’t heard anything from the man today, and he hoped that meant he'd been preparing for the difficult catch they had planned.

Once they were all in place and the clown act was coming to a close, Nate knew it was too late to speak to his troupe. He just prayed that the show would go off without a hitch.

Nate could hear Elizabeth introducing them. He could hear how weary her voice was, even if the crowd couldn't yet. They had a thinner crowd than at past performances, and Nate could only think that that was because they'd slipped. Pegasus Circus was not the thrilling entertainment it once had been.

It was only when the music started that he realized he'd missed his starting mark. Cursing himself, he waited the extra beat so he'd be on track before he pushed off the platform. He could see Bates glaring at him already. Nate put more body into his first swing to catch his missing altitude, but then he was caught up with Sora, and they were set for their first tandem flips.

Nate had been on a trapeze in his parent's yard as soon as he could hold onto the bar. He'd been held through his first flips; his father's hands guiding him up and over a stationary bar. This was in Nate's blood, and he never felt more alive than when he was in the air, just him and the bar.

As the music crescendoed, Nate launched himself into the air. The movement in the corner of his eye told him Sora had done the same, and he smiled to himself as he curled into his flip.

It was muscle memory that told him when to break out; when to reach up for the hands he knew would be there to catch him. One palm, then the other, landed solidly on wrists and Bates had him. They swung as the crowd clapped, and when Nate heard the music signal, he let go. Bates launched him back towards his own bar, and Nate caught it at the top of its swing easily.

As he turned and rode the bar back, he could see Bates' face again. He wasn't glaring anymore, and Nate held onto the hope that maybe they'd get through the routine solidly tonight.

The second tandem flip had him flying through the air with Chaya. His forward summersaults matched her reverse summersaults perfectly, and the muted smacking he heard from his left told him that Rakai had caught Chaya as perfectly as Bates had caught him.

As his feet made contact with the platform for a second time, he felt the clenching in his stomach loosen a bit.

He had a moment to breathe as Sora made a solo flight, and then it was time for his solo.

The crowd cheered loudly as Sora made contact with her catcher, only to be thrown back to her bar a moment later.

Nate took a breath and held his bar, waving at the crowd as Elizabeth informed them of Nate's signature flight. They'd done this countless times and practiced it so often that Nate could do it with his eyes closed. This time was no different, except that Bates' swing was just a beat off. Nate counted the seconds, waiting for Bates to be in the perfect position before he started to swing.

He pushed off, arching his body forward and back, swinging as high as he could. He could feel it in his bones that something was off, but Bates' was swinging perfectly in time to catch him. At the peak of his upswing, Nate launched himself forward, flipping and twisting as he soared through the air toward the man that had caught him hundreds of times. Nate sucked in a breath as Bates started his back swing too soon. 'Shit,' he thought a mere second before he arched his body forward, grabbing Bates' only outstretched hand with both of his. Nate felt the pop in Bates' shoulder before his hands slipped and he found himself falling, staring up at the agonized face of his catcher.

Nate knew how to fall; it had been one of those things engrained into him since he first started learning. He was grateful for it now, because through his surprise he was still able to twist correctly and bounce down onto the net. He stayed there after he settled, just watching Bates make it back to his platform, his arm limp at his side.

Nate knew if Bates was lucky, he'd just dislocated it, but it could still be enough to end his career. Nate wasn't sure how much he really cared anymore. This circus had been his family for as long as he could remember, but not anymore. He'd had enough. He was done.

Above him, he could just hear Bates cursing as he started down his ladder. Nate could hear the crowd murmuring and knew he should move, if for no other reason than to show them he was alright.

"Stacks," Nate heard Lucius hiss at him from below. "You all right?"

Nate grumbled and finally moved. He heard the sounds of relief moving through the crowd, but none of it mattered. Woolsey had made this circus great, it had been huge, Nate had grown up here, with these people, Woolsey had been like a grandfather to him and Nate had loved him. As Nate flipped over the edge of the net the finality of the action he'd done millions of times in his life broke his heart.

"Stacks!" Lucius hissed again, but Nate just waved him off. It was time to go.

Behind him, he heard Elizabeth telling the crowd that Stacks had to go check on his partner; the trapeze troupe is very tight knit, much like a family. She called the clowns back in as the next act rushed to get ready early.

Nate left through the closest exit and leaned against one of the supporting poles of the Big Top. He didn't want to do this, didn't know what he'd do with himself, but he knew he had to go. Maybe he could find a job with another circus eventually, but he kind of doubted it. What would someone else want with a second rate trapeze man?

"Nate?" Sam's voice came from behind him and he turned in time to see her come out of the Big Top. "You okay?"

"How's Dean?" Nate asked, waving at the little radio in Sam's ear.

"He's got a dislocated shoulder," she sighed. "It's good you let go when you did."

"I'm leaving, Sam. I can't do this anymore," Nate looked up at his closest friend and saw the anguish on her face. "This circus is dying and I can't be a part of that anymore."

"Nate," Sam said and reached for him.

Nate twisted away from her approaching hand and she pulled it back.

"Listen," she continued. "A bunch of us feel the same way. Xiao is the cancer that's eating this family up from the inside. Selling to her was a mistake, and I think Richard knows that. We've been in contact with him, and he's very upset with the way things have been handled. If you can just hold out a lit-"

"No, Sam," Nate interrupted her. "Even if Richard does come back and take over, nothing will be the same. Dean has a displaced shoulder, I ended his career tonight."

"HEY!"

Nate sighed and pushed off the pole he'd been leaning on. He knew this had been coming and thought maybe it's why he hadn't just headed straight for his trailer.

Rakai and Dean had come around the side of the tent. Both men looked pissed; Nate thought he should be too, but all he felt was tired.

"You just fucked up Dean's shoulder so bad he can't catch anymore!" Rakai snarled as they got closer.

"We don't know that yet," Sam said, trying to diffuse the situation. "We have to get him examined thoroughly by a-"

"No, its over," Dean growled. "It's over because he wasn't where he was supposed to be."

"I was exactly where I was supposed to be!" Nate protested, finally feeling his anger rise. "You were the one who was off swing!"

"You released too soon!" Rakai shouted. "I saw it!"

"Bates had been off since the beginning of the stunt! I had to wait for him," Nate growled.

"If that's the case, you didn't wait long enough!"

"Stop it, Rakai!" Sam stepped in. "If Nate hadn't released when he did, they both would have been swinging there indefinitely."

"At least I'd still be able to perform then!" Bates grunted, obviously in pain.

"Guys, it's pointless to stand here and argue about who holds the blame," Sam said calmly. "Bates needs to see Perna, and then go to a hospital."

"I know whose fault it is," Rakai hissed a moment before pain bloomed across the right side of Nate's face.

Sam's gasp of surprise barely registered as Nate leapt forward, his fist connecting with Rakai's jaw.

Rakai staggered, but then he was coming back for more. Nate braced himself, but the blow never came. Sam shoved Rakai back just as security came around the tent to break up the fight. "This is your fault, Stackhouse!" Rakai shouted, but Nate had already turned to leave.

He made it to his trailer before Sam could catch up. He knew he'd have to come out of the trailer and hitch it to his truck before he could actually leave, but for now all he wanted was a little time alone. He needed to get the trailer ready for traveling anyway.

Nate sank down into his chair, the same chair his father used to sit in, and looked around at the only home he'd ever known.

He'd been born into this circus. His birth certificate said Fresno, California, but only because that was where they were when his mother had gone into labor. This trailer had been where his parents had brought him when they left the hospital. It had been where he'd taken his first steps. Every time they stopped in a new city, his dad would set up Nate's practice bar, and they'd worked on Nate's technique.

He and Bates weren't even that far apart in age. They used to play together before they were old enough to actually perform. Nate's dad would even get Dean on Nate's bar. They'd been flying together since they were sixteen, and Dean decided he'd rather do trapeze than acrobatics. He'd been welcomed into the troupe with open arms, because he was part of the family.

Nate sighed as he looked at the poster hanging above the couch, the one that depicted him at age three, being thrown from one man to another as they flew through the air. Below the action scene were his parents, holding him between them, with Marshall Sumner, Richard Woolsey and Janet Frasier surrounding them. His parents troupe had been phenomenal, never a slip up, never a fall. Nate missed them more than he thought he would. He couldn't help but wonder how disappointed his parents would be if they knew he was a truck hitch away from leaving the family they'd been a part of for so long.

Nate shook his head and looked at the newer poster hanging on the back of his door. This one was of his troupe, the action shot was of Nate doing the trick he'd done tonight. Below that, was him standing in the middle of Dean and Rakai, Sora and Chaya on the ends.

Nate closed his eyes, willing the tears not to fall. He had to leave; there was nothing else for him here. The family was falling apart; he'd ruined one of his best friends’ careers tonight. He was done, he had to go.

Taking a deep breath, Nate left the trailer and headed for his truck, ignoring Sam's protests as he went.

"Nate, please, don't do this!" Sam pleaded as Nate got into his truck and backed it toward his trailer. He'd get the trailer ready once it was hitched. For now, he had to solidify the fact that he was leaving. Both for himself and for everyone else.

"I can't stay here anymore, Sam," Nate spoke softly as the trailer hitch clicked. "I'm sorry. We're all off our game, and we're only going to keep hurting each other. I can't do that again," he waved away her protests. "I know it wasn't just my fault back there, but I won't be part of it anymore."

"Where will you go?" Sam asked quietly.

"I don't know," Nate sighed. “Maybe Florida; visit my folks. Maybe college," he chuckled. "Higher learning's always good."

Sam sighed and Nate took pity on her. Putting a hand on her shoulder, he pulled her into a loose hug.

"Thanks for everything, Sam. You've been a great friend, but I have to do this."

She nodded as tears slipped out of her closed eyes.

"Let me know what they say about Dean's shoulder, yeah? I'll keep my email active so we can keep in touch."

He didn't wait for an answer, just turned back to the trailer and went inside. He knew Sam would contact him.

Once everything was secured and ready for travel, Nate left the trailer. He wasn't surprised to see Sam still standing there. He hugged her again. "Tell everyone I said good bye, and when you talk to Richard, tell him I'm sorry for the way things turned out."

This time, he did wait for an answer, and it came in the form of a nod. Nate smiled sadly and kissed her cheek.

"See you around, Sam," he said as he climbed back into his truck. With a quick glance in his side views, Nate pulled away, leaving his life and his family behind.

---

A few months found Nate in the same city long after Pegasus Circus moved on. He was in a diner not far from the ally where he'd parked his trailer when a silver haired man burst through the door with flyers in hand.

"Rodney's Circus of Amazing Wonders and Feats!" the man announced grandly. "We'll be in town from the 20th to the 25th. I have flyers with information and ticket prices; can I leave some here?"

"Sure," Nate's waiter shrugged. "We won't be actively handing them out but you can tack some to the bulletin board there."

"Great," the man grinned and went for the board near the door. "I also hear that the pie here is not to be ignored."

"They do have good pie," Nate replied dryly.

The man nodded at Nate before turning to the waiter. "Then a nice piece of apple pie wouldn't go amiss. A la mode, please. And one for my new friend here," he made his way over and sat across from Nate at the table before slapping one of the flyers down in front of Nate. "You ever been to a circus?"

Just looking at the man made Nate homesick. He remembered going out with the barkers when he was young. He'd ride on Teal'c's shoulders as they went from shop to shop in a new town.

Nate sighed as he looked at the flyer. It likely showed the Circus' biggest crowd drawers, trapeze, acrobats, lions and tigers, tightrope.

With a sad smile Nate shook his head. "Nah," he finally answered the man's question.

A moment later, the waiter came back with two plates of pie. "Tough break, Nate," he said. "I know you wanted to be moved on before the next one came around."

Nate sighed and shook his head. "Thanks, Henry."

Nate looked back up when he heard chuckling from across the table. The man stuck his hand out to shake. "Jack O'Neill," he said before retracting his hand when Nate didn't take it. "I thought you looked familiar. I heard about what happened. Bad luck."

Nate scoffed, "Bad luck, sure." he stood up. "Thanks for the pie, but why don't you have it," he nodded and headed toward the door of the diner.

"We're short a trapeze artist." Jack said and Nate stopped in his tracks.

He missed performing, missed the connection between him and his circus family. Nate didn't know if Jack's words were an offer or just a statement, but he had to admit that he was tempted to hear more.

Jack apparently Jack took Nate's hesitation for exactly what it was, and he continued speaking. "Nate Stackhouse, right? From Pegasus Circus?"

Nate nodded. He knew better than to get his hopes up. He knew exactly how hard it was for an outsider to be welcomed into an existing family.

"Here," Jack said and got up, walking over to Nate. He took Nate's hand, shaking it and pressing a card into it at the same time. "I'll talk to Rodney, you think about it and we'll be in touch."

Nate looked down at the card and found a hand written phone number on the back of the 'Rodney's Circus' card. He nodded, stuck the card in his pocket and left the diner.

As much as Nate tried, he could not think of anything else. Rodney's Circus had only been around for about a decade, but they had already proved themselves around the world. He didn't put much stock in Jack's plan to "talk to Rodney," but the seed had been planted anyway.

Finally, with a groan of frustration, Nate snatched up his cell phone and dialed. He nearly hung up twice as he listened to the rings, but before he could lose his nerve completely, there was a click. "Nate! How are you, son?" his father asked by way of greeting.

"Hey, dad," Nate replied. He'd been putting off this phone call ever since he left Pegasus; he just hadn't wanted to disappoint them. Now, though, he needed their advice.

"Is that Nathan?" Nate heard his mom's voice in the background, and then there was another click as she picked up the second line. "Hi baby, how are you?" he asked.

"I'm okay, I guess. I actually have something to tell you both."

"Yes?" his father asked expectantly.

Nate took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I left Pegasus," he said quickly.

"We know that, sweetheart," his mom told him.

"You do?"

"Of course, son," his dad said. "Richard called us. You don't have to worry, we understand."

"Oh," Nate sighed. That was a weight off his shoulders.

"I'm guessing that's not the only reason you called, though," his mother assumed correctly. They both knew him so well; he wasn't really surprised that they knew he had something else to say.

"The barker for another circus came to town today," Nate told his parents. "He recognized me, said they're short on the trapeze and that he'd talk to his boss."

"What's the circus?" His father asked. Nate knew that just because they were out of the game didn't mean they stopped keeping up on the competition.

Nate pulled out the card, not because he didn't remember the name, but because he wanted to stall for just another moment. They may have known he left Pegasus, but that didn’t mean they wouldn't be disappointed that he was looking at joining a new circus. Pegasus had been their home, their family for so long. Finally he took a deep breath and said, "Rodney's-"

"Take it!" both his parents said in unison.

Nate was dumbfounded for a moment and sat in silence as his brain tried to reboot. "I didn't even tell you the full name."

"Rodney's Circus of Amazing Wonders and Feats, right?"

"Yeah mom, how'd you know?"

"Because Rodney's circus is the only one well known enough to have balls enough to even approach someone of your standard," his dad told him.

"Well, there isn't even an offer yet, I just talked to the barker."

"Yes, but there will be an offer," his mom told him confidently.

"And when there is," his dad added, "take it. Rodney's is the real thing. They're fairly new, but they're good. Better than most."

"As good as Pegasus was once?" Nate asked.

"Better," they both told him.

"Take it, son. It'll be good for you to be with a good troupe again."

Nate sighed and nodded, even though his parents couldn't see it. "Did you hear what happened at Pegasus?" he asked.

"We did," his father sighed. "That wasn't your fault Nate, and Richard really should have known better than to sell to an outsider."

"Things happen for a reason, Kitten," his mother reminded him. "Maybe you were meant for a greater troupe, and Dean was meant to do something else with his life."

Nate shrugged, unsure of how much stock he put into 'higher purposes.' "Yeah maybe," he agreed.

"You know you can always come here for a while if things don't work out," his father reminded him. "We'll always be here for you but I want you to seriously consider Rodney's circus."

"If I get an offer, I will," Nate assured them.

"Nathan Stackhouse, do not just sit around and wait for the call! Let them know you're interested!" his mother admonished. "The barker gave you a card, use it."

"Okay, okay," Nate laughed. "I will. Love you."

"We love you too," his father replied. "Keep us updated."

"I will. Bye guys."

---

"Rodney's Circus of Amazing Wonders and Feats, my name is Jessica, how may I help you today?"

Nate opened his mouth to reply but he could hear someone chuckling in the background. "Rodney really makes you say all that Jess? And you let him?"

"Shut up, Jason," the woman on the phone said pleasantly. "Sorry about that, how may I help you?"

Nate laughed. "I was actually trying to follow up with something I was told by one of the barkers," he started.

"What's Jack said now?" the woman sounded wearily amused, probably used to the barker's antics.

"He said you were down a trapeze artist." Nate was technically doing what his parents had told him to the day before, but he was also testing to see if Jack really had mentioned him to anyone.

"You must be Nate Stackhouse then," the woman sounded genuinely pleased to hear from him. "Jack said he'd talked to you, but he neglected to get any contact information from you. Rodney wasn't pleased," she chuckled a little at that.

"Stackhouse?" the muted male voice asked. "We're taking to Stackhouse? Oh man that would be so cool! The guy's brilliant, Jess! Have you ever seen him perform?"

"Of course I have, Jason, I went to the same performance you did," Jessica sighed. "Anyway, let me get a contact number for you. I'm sure Rodney would love to speak with you personally."

Nate gave her his information and then they both signed off. It felt good, Nate thought, to have a real, tangible prospect.

Nate wandered around the tiny apartment he'd rented before finally standing in front of the window and looking sown at his trailer parked in the alley. He wasn't sure what exactly to think about everything that had happened lately. The woman he'd talked to, Jessica, made it sound like Rodney might really be interested, and who ever that Jason guy was certainly seemed excited at the idea of him. He was nervous though, he'd only ever been with Pegasus, and he wasn't sure how he'd fit into anything else.

He decided not to get his hopes up just yet; he hadn't even talked to Rodney, after all. After a few more minutes of standing at the window, Nate decided to go down to his trailer. It was where he always got the most thinking done.

He was barely in his chair before there was a loud pounding on the door.

"Mother fucker!" Nate shouted part irritated at the interruption and part startled at the unexpected noise. He got up and opened the door, ready to ream someone good, but was surprised to find Jack, the barker, standing there.

"How'd you find me?" he asked.

"Seriously?" Jack asked and invited himself in. "It's a small town, and I didn't think there'd be many circus trailers parked in back allies. I saw one and took a chance and oh look, here you are."

Nate wasn't sure if the guy was being an asshole or if this was his normal personality. Jessica had made it sound like the man was always saying something he maybe shouldn't. Instead of bothering to reply, Nate just sat down in his chair and looked at Jack.

"Did you want something specific?" he asked.

"Well, I'd ask if you thought about what I said, but the call I got from Rodney a bit ago told me you'd already called him."

"Yeah, I did. He send you to do an interview?"

Jack chuckled and held up a DVD. "Not so much. I just thought you'd like to get to know the troupe. You got a TV?"

Nate nodded and pointed toward the cabinet set into the wall across from the couch. He moved to the front of the trailer and flipped the switch to turn on the battery then sat on the couch with Jack.

Jack popped the DVD into the player and leaned back in the couch. "So this troupe, the first thing you have to realize is that we're all crazy," he started as the camera spanned the layout under the Big Top. Nate could see right away that this was a professionally done movie.

"There's no net under the trapeze," Nate realized as he took everything. The ringmaster was making his announcements to the crowd; Nate noted that every seat in the house was taken.

"It's not an amazing wonder or feat if there's a net," Jack chuckled.

Nate didn't reply; the ringmaster, who'd introduced himself as Cam, was announcing the Flying Firebirds. The catchers, John and Wes, waved from where they swung. The stationary bar above them held Teyla and Aiden, and then the flyers, Jason, Damien, and Katie were introduced. "You don't look like you're a man short," Nate commented as the lights changed and the music started.

“This particular movie is a few years old,” Jack told him.

The music was faster than Nate was used to, and it seemed a pretty strange mix of genres, but the crowd was going nuts as Katie, Jason, and Damien all started tandem swings. The three released at the same time, Nate was surprised to see. Wes caught Damien and Katie while John caught Jason.

"Nice," Nate commented as Wes tossed Katie back to the swinging bar. He took hold of Damien's hands, swung him out three times before tossing him as well. The man caught the bar seemingly without even paying attention. The next flight was just Jason and Damien, flying in perfect unison.

Nate watched as the show unfolded before his eyes, he followed the flyers with his finger as his mind created fragments of new performances.

"Your guys are amazing," Nate commented as the music slowed and the show came to a close. "I could do so much with them," he added, keeping his eyes on the screen.

The ringmaster was calling out their names, sounding as astonished as the crowed no doubt was. Then he was calling their names again, making sure everyone knew them, the camera going in close on each member as their name was called.

"John Sheppard," the ringmaster shouted. "Wes Ferreh, Aiden Ford and Teyla Emmagen, Katie Brown, Jason Markham,"

Nate took a moment to put a face to the voice he'd heard over the phone earlier.

"...and Damien Sevoir!"

The crowd howled as Damien made a sloppy salute, only to fling himself off the platform a moment later.

"Shit!" Nate shouted at the same moment someone on the screen shouted "Damien!"

"Fuck! I'm taking his place, aren't I?" Nate asked quickly as the camera panned out, just in time to catch a net springing up from under the sawdust to catch the falling maniac.

Nate's breath was coming in and out quickly as his eyes took in the screen. The man he'd come to know as Wes seemed to be glued to the ladder, mid-descent. "Jesus Christ," Nate whispered as Jack chuckled beside him.

On screen, Wes had finally come out of his shock enough to make it down the ladder. Nate watched as he hurried over to where Damien had just flipped off the side of the net. Wes grabbed Damien by both shoulders, shaking him as he shouted something the camera didn't pick up. Damien was too busy laughing to take whatever was being said seriously, but then Wes hauled Damien close and kissed him hard. The crowd went nuts again, whistling and cat calling as Cam the ringmaster laughed and called out the clowns.

"Rodney just about wet himself," Jack laughed, pointing to the side of the ring where a solidly built man paced, his face red and expression sour. "He's all about the illusion of danger, but no one ever expected Damien to do that."

"You guys are crazy," Nate laughed. "So how does the net work?"

Jack rewound the DVD until just before Damien jumped. "See that clown there? Leaning against the post? That's Evan. His only duty while the high flying acts are going is to stand there, lean against that post, and watch."

"There's a button or something," Nate guessed. "Under his hand, and when he pushes it the net releases."

"Got it in one," Jack grinned. "Evan's got the best reflexes in the whole group."

Nate nodded; he supposed one would have to have good reflexes to be trusted with seven lives.

"Okay," Nate said and looked Jack in the eye. He really wanted to be part of the troupe he'd just watched fly. "What do I need to do?"

Jack smiled and took Nate's cell phone off the table between them and the TV. He dialed a number and then handed the phone to Nate.

Nate took the phone and put it to his head just in time to hear someone say "Nate Stackhouse, I presume."

"Yeah," Nate replied.

"Excellent. Rodney McKay," the man introduced himself. "John and I will be in town tomorrow morning. We'll do a spoken interview; I want to get to know you before I bring you into my home and introduce you to my family."

"I understand that," Nate said, and he did. He'd watched Richard do the same thing a few times. "Where do we go from there?"

"If I like you, and feel like you can be trusted, then you'll do a working interview. I've seen your work Nate, and it's impressive, but I want to see it in person."

"I take it you'll provide the catcher."

"Of course, Jason Markham has volunteered his services."

"Okay, what time are we meeting tomorrow?"

"I've got your number; I'll call you when we get in. Let's meet at that pie diner Jack met you at."

"No problem."

"That's what I was hoping you'd say. Get some rest Nate, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Nate agreed and hung up the phone when the line went dead.

"Don't worry," Jack said, "He sounds like a bear, and he usually is, but he's a good guy, and he takes care of what's his."

"Good. Now, if you don't mind, I need to get some rest."

"Right, see you around, Nate."

Nate stayed on the couch and watched as Jack left the trailer. He knew he wouldn't be going back up to the apartment tonight, so he leaned over and rested his head on the couch arm.

It was quite possible that he'd be joining a new circus in the next few days, and while that was exciting it was also terrifying. He laid there thinking of Rodney and the circus. About Damien and Wes and their obvious relationship, it was good that Rodney didn't have an issue with gays in his circus. He thought about Aiden and Teyla, Katie and John. He wondered if it was the same John Rodney was bringing with him to the interview. He thought of the massive upper body strength Wes must have to catch two fliers at once when one of them was a man. But for some reason, his mind kept wandering back to Jason's face and that smile, and he remembered the excitement in his voice when Jessica had said Nate's name.

Maybe his parents were right, maybe there was something more for him outside of Pegasus. Maybe Rodney's circus would be good for him; maybe he'd be good for the circus. Maybe there really was something great waiting for him there.

That thought followed him into sleep.

---

Nate woke when his cell phone buzzed the next morning. It was a text from an unfamiliar number; One hour out- thought you'd like the warning. Don't order anything with lemon in it- McKay's allergic. John.

Nate hurried up to the apartment, showered and dressed, and headed for the diner. His heart was pounding with his steps when he got there. He'd never been this nervous meeting anyone before. It was a strange feeling.

Outside the diner there were only a few cars, but Nate spotted Rodney's right away. It was an eco-friendly hybrid hatchback, dark blue, with Rodney's Circus of Amazing Wonders and Feats sprawled across the sides. They'd beaten him there.

Inside the diner, Nate recognized them immediately from the DVD Jack had showed him. "Rodney McKay?" he asked as he approached. "I'm Nate Stackhouse."

Rodney looked Nate up and down as John Sheppard peered at him over his menu. "You haven't changed much since your last promo shots," Rodney observed.

Nate chuckled and pushed his menu over to the edge of the table, he already knew what he would order. He nodded his thanks and smiled. "To be honest, I've heard plenty about you and your circus, but the first time I saw you was when Jack showed me that video the other day."

"Which video? Oh probably the one with Damien being a moron," Rodney scoffed. "That video is a few years old now. Wait, you'd never seen us perform before?"

Their waiter came up to them then and asked if they knew what they wanted. "Pumpkin pie," Rodney answered promptly, "and make sure that no citrus or citrus cleaners was used on any utensils or serving areas. I am deathly allergic and I'm sure you do not want to know what anaphylactic shock looks like."

Nate fought back a smile as Rodney spoke to the waiter. When it was his turn, Nate ordered the cherry pie.

Once the man had moved on to John, Nate turned his full attention back to Rodney. "No sir, I've never seen you perform. Not that I didn't want to, but my life pretty much revolved around the circus. You don't get as good as I am by checking out the competition."

"That has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard in my life!" Rodney exclaimed. "You check out the competition so that you can do things better. How do you improve yourself otherwise?"

Beside Rodney, John rolled his eyes and ordered the pecan pie.

Nate sighed and shook his head. "If you're always worried about what someone else is doing, how are you going to have time to worry about what you're doing?"

He smiled at John and then looked back at Rodney. "Besides, Dean and Rakai were all about checking everyone else out. I didn't ever have to worry about going myself."

He nodded, feeling a little cocky. "I'm pretty sure that you'll appreciate my dedication once you watch me fly."

"Oh we've seen you fly plenty of times, haven't we, John?" Rodney didn't wait for John to answer. "What I'm looking for is people who can take other's performances and break them apart, think outside the box, then make something completely original out of anything and nothing. I want original thinkers who aren't afraid to use the old things either. That probably didn't make sense. That's fine. Stackhouse, we change our routine before every new city, did you know that? Most circuses find what works and run a whole season with it."

"I'd heard that," Nate replied. "Did you know that almost every routine we did came out of my mind? Did you know that as I was watching that recording you say is from a few years ago, my mind was creating at least three new routines?" Nate took a drink of his lukewarm coffee and sat back as their pies were delivered. He kind of regretted ordering anything. He wasn't sure how this interview was going, but he figured it couldn't be good considering the way he was talking to McKay.

"Look, Rodney, you say you've seen me fly plenty of times, and I believe you. But you've never seen me fly for you. You've never seen me up close and in person. You've never seen me put my life in the hands of someone I've never even met before. I've always flown with people I've known for years, people I grew up with. This guy you want me to perform with, I don't know who he is. But I'm willing to trust him, because of the things I've heard about you, Rodney. The question is, are you willing to do the same for me?"

Beside Rodney, John laughed. He clapped Rodney on the shoulder as Rodney turned to glare at him. "I'd say he's exactly what we're looking for."

John turned to Nate. "We'll call you when either D and Wes or Jason gets into town. It shouldn't be more than a day or so."

"Why can't you do it?" Nate asked curiously. "I saw you catching on that video."

Nate thought he saw John go at least one shade paler, but he wasn't sure if he should apologize for the question, or wait for the answer. His gut had done him right so far today, so he decided to wait.

"I don't perform anymore," John said after a silent moment.

Nate waited for another few seconds before deciding that John wasn't going to elaborate any further. He nodded, "Okay, so, in a day or two," Nate said and stood up from the table.

"We'll contact you," Rodney said.

Again, Nate nodded and took his pie to the counter for a to go box before he left the diner.

---

"I screwed it up," Nate told his parents when the line picked up.

"What did you screw up?" His mom asked.

"Rodney's circus, I fucked up my chances."

"How?" his father asked him.

"I was a dick."

"In what way?" his mom questioned.

"What happened, Son?"

"I told him the truth, dad, rather than telling him what any circus owner in his right mind would want to hear."

"Alright listen," this was his mother’s stern voice, the one that said she wasn't playing. "We didn't raise anyone other than Nathan Stackhouse, and I wouldn't expect you to be anyone other than the man you are, whether you're interviewing for Rodney or for the Queen of England!"

"Secondly," his father added seriously. "No one ever said Rodney was in his right mind. The man's a genius! He had at least two doctorates in different subjects, and yet he owns a circus. John, his boyfriend, has a degree in applied mathematics."

"Wow, I didn't know that." he was beginning to feel a little foolish, which was one thing his parents could be counted on to do. They put him in his place; they gave him a firm but gentle whack upside the head and let him know exactly why he was being an idiot.

"Listen, boy, do some homework while you wait for their call. Every single person Rodney has with him has above average intelligence in one thing or another. They were all circus born, but they're a mix from all around the world."

Nate sighed as his father’s words. They were all smart and all Nate knew how to do was swing. The spoken interview was over, he may or may not have messed it up, but he was still nervous.

"You're going to do great, baby, I just know it."

Nate smiled at his mother’s confidence. "Thanks mom, dad. I should probably get some sleep."

"You do that, and let us know how everything goes," His father ordered.

"Will do, dad. Good night."

"Night son."

Nate hung up the phone and flopped back on his bed. He wasn't sure what to think about today, John seemed to like him well enough, but Rodney seemed pretty unimpressed. He didn't know how they eventually chose who got in, if they took turns, flipped a coin, arm wrestled, or if everyone had to meet him and then take a vote.

He sighed and closed his eyes against the bright mid-day sun as it streamed through the trailer window. He couldn't let himself dwell on this, if he did, his stomach would be too knotted up to even think about performing. And wouldn't that just be the topper on the perfect cake?

He decided to try for a nap; maybe the time would pass faster if he was asleep.

---

When the call came the next day, it was in the form of pounding on his trailer door. "What is it with you and pounding," Nate asked before he even had the door fully open. "Can't you knock like a normal person?"

Jack grinned. "Nope! Nate Stackhouse, this is Jason Markham," he indicated the dark haired man behind him, who waved. "I figured you two would want to get to know each other a little while the Big Top gets set up. Today's your big day after all, Stacks!"

"So they're really going to let me fly?" Nate asked. He had nearly talked himself out of hoping since his interview.

"Rodney was pretty impressed with you," Jason replied with a smile. He had a really nice smile, Nate thought. "Jess and John both said so, so it has to be true."

"Rodney was impressed with me?" Nate hadn't gotten that impression at all, but these were the guys who knew Rodney best.

"Well, I gotta go supervise set up," Jack clapped his hands together. "Nate, you'll drive Jason back with you, won't you?" Jack walked away before either man could answer.

When Jason looked at Nate, he shrugged. "We can stop at the diner for coffee on the way," Nate offered as he moved to unhitch his trailer from his truck.

Jason moved to help him secure it to stand alone. "No thanks," Jason answered apologetically. "I'd kind of like to get back as soon as I can. I'm a little OCD about making sure the trapeze is set up just right."

Nate chuckled and moved toward the front of the truck. "I was actually kind of hoping you'd say no."

Nate had always felt the same about watching the trapeze set up. He and his troupe were the ones hanging high above the ground after all.

Once Jason was in the truck and they were both buckled in, Nate started the engine and pulled out of the alley. "Rodney must be a pretty hard guy to read," he said as he drove. "I really thought I wouldn't be getting a call back from him. I didn't think my interview went well yesterday."

"The thing you need to know about Rodney is that he hates pushovers," Jason chuckled. "Also, he makes people cry. Fair warning."

"Makes people cry, huh?" Nate asked amused. "Thanks for the warning."

It was quiet for a moment before Nate realized they weren't actually doing anything to get to know each other.

"So," he said, breaking the silence. "The only video I saw of you guys, you were flying. Since you're going to catch me, I assume the five guys, well, four since John doesn't perform anymore, change position."

He'd always wanted to change position, but Richard liked keeping the troupe as they were when they started. He'd talked the guys into changing position during practices, but they weren't allowed to switch it up for the show.

"Three," Jason corrected quietly. "We have three guys right now; myself, D, and Wes. We all switch around, yeah, but more so now days. It's pretty much imperative that we all know how to fly and how to catch, since the act is changed up so much."

"Three guys," Nate said and mentally replayed the ring master's announcement. "Aiden," he said once he'd figured out who was missing from the list Jason had just given him. "He doesn't perform either?"

He was pretty sure he wouldn't be getting any kind of inside story as two why the troupe went from 7 members down to 5, so he decided not to even ask. "So is Rodney looking for another guy or has one already been hired? Jack told me you were down one man. Am I replacing two?"

"Right now we're only looking for one man. I'm hoping that's you because I've seen you perform and you're really great," Jason spared him a smile. "Turn left up here, it'll take you straight to a big field."

Nate smiled, "Thanks. You looked pretty great yourself."

He made the left turn and could see the top of the tent. His stomach clenched at the sight, he couldn't wait to actually get there and hear the sounds of the preparations. He'd only been away from the circus for a few months but he'd missed it from the second he put his truck in gear.

Nate closed his eyes once he'd parked the truck and just listened, breathing in through his nose to take in all the familiar smells. "God, I miss this," he said, mostly to himself. After a moment, he looked over at Jason. "You ready?" he asked, although he supposed it should be Jason asking him.

Jason smiled gently at him. "It's every circus troupe's worst nightmare, what happened with Pegasus. I hope you find a place here with us." Before Nate could reply, Jason opened the truck door and hopped out. "Let's go find Rodney and check out the trapeze. Hopefully we can get our warm-ups in soon."

Nate bit his lip and climbed out of the truck, following Jason toward the circle of trailers in the distance.

"They were my family," Nate said softly. "I was born and raised in Pegasus but I couldn't stand there and watch them fall apart. I'd really like to join you here at Rodney's, I hope it works out."

"There you are." Nate turned toward the voice and saw Rodney standing just outside one of the trailers. "The trapeze is almost up," Rodney continued as he ushered them toward the big top. "I'll give you guys a few minutes to learn each other’s styles, and then I want to get down to business."

As Nate followed Rodney, he looked over at Jason. "Hey," he said quietly. "When we get to the actual jump, I wanna do something. Can you catch me?"

Jason gave Nate a slow grin as they followed Rodney. "Something new and never before seen? I love a challenge. If you can time it, I can catch you."

They walked through the tent door and Jason immediately made his way towards the trapeze setup. "You got a practice outfit with you? If not, we have extras," he waved at a woman who looked so similar to himself they could only be twins. "Hey Jess, where's my stuff?"

"I threw it in the changing area, along with some stuff that might fit Nate," Jess replied, gesturing off to the side of the tent. She smiled at Nate. "It's good to meet you, Nate. Everyone's been looking forward to it after Rodney came back in such a snit." Rodney huffed indignantly and Jason laughed as he headed off toward the changing area.

Nate didn't understand how Rodney being in a snit translated into him possibly having a place here, but he figured he'd just go with it for now.

"I've got my outfit in the truck; I like it to fit properly. I'll be right back."

oOo

Jason felt like he could hardly contain his excitement as he emerged from the changing area to see Nate coming back, his uniform bundled under one arm. While Nate changed, Jason made his way over to his sister. "Can you believe this?" he grinned. "I get to fly with Nate Stackhouse!"

Jess rolled her eyes at him. "It is pretty cool; he's quite a good flyer."

Jason knew she was just trying to wind him up. "You know he's one of the best," he replied as Nate came back towards them dressed in the dark blue and white of the Pegasus Flyers.

"Yeah, something new," Nate finally answered Jason's earlier question. "And don't worry, I can time it. Let's get some practice in first, it's been a few months and I just want to play in the sky for a minute."

Jason nodded. "Sure, let's go," he took the half second to admire Nate's backside as the other man headed for his ladder- Ladon wasn't there to get jealous, so why shouldn't Jason look?- before he climbed his own way up to the catcher's bar.

Over the years, Jason had seen quite a few of Nate's performances, either in person or online. He'd always wondered what it would be like to fly with him, and now he was actually going to get the chance to. He knew he was probably being a little bit of a fanboy, but as long as he didn't act like it he thought it'd be fine.

When he got to his platform, Jason did his usual visual check of the rigging and the net below them before testing out his bar. "I'm set," he called to Nate, who was doing his own check. Jason grabbed his bar and swung out, lazily going through his warm-up routine. As he swung, he played with one and two armed pull ups before he flipped over his bar and hooked his knees around it in a catcher's hold. Nate was finishing his own warm up and Jason had to admire his form as Nate swung back and forth.

"Can you time off me or shall I time off you?" he called to Nate, a happy grin on his face as he added more altitude to his swings.

"You guys going to play all day or are you going to show me something interesting?" Rodney yelled from the ground.

Jason flipped his middle finger in Rodney's direction. "If you want to see more than if he can fall gracefully, you better let us do our jobs, Rodney," he laughed.

"I'll time off you to begin with," Nate answered. "When we get to the big jump, we'll see."

"Gotcha. Come on then, show me what you got," Jason grinned his challenge.

Nate started off simply enough, which Jason was expecting; you don't jump right into the hard stuff with a catcher who's a stranger. He began with a neat double flip, and as their hands closed around each other's wrists, Nate's momentum adding to Jason's for the backswing, Jason noted that Nate had a great sense of timing. They'd all seen the YouTube video of Nate's fall and there had been some question about his sense of timing when stressed. Jason hadn't been worried, but it was a valid concern. He was just happy to prove it wasn't.

At nearly the apex of his next swing, Jason checked for Nate's bar and then released Nate, who flipped again on his way back. "You hold a steady swing," Nate called once he was back on his own bar. "Keep that pace, be ready."

"I'm always ready," Jason laughed, but he did as he was asked as Nate swung twice and then launched again. Jason recognized it as the same signature move he'd attempted his final night with Pegasus. It was more complicated than Jason was expecting Nate to give him so soon, but he was ready nonetheless, and was exactly where Nate needed him to be.

Hands clasped wrists, and Jason could feel the sting in his knees and calves as Nate's mass pulled hard on him. This was a move with a lot of power behind it and Jason knew that if they were going to regularly integrate it into shows, he was going to have to do a little more body work to be able to catch Nate regularly. Wes could catch this move without breaking a sweat, but then he was used to catching D.

They swung the move back out, and Nate gave him a challenging smile. "You ready for me to try what I wanted to try? You still up for it?"

"Is it as powerful as that last one?" Jason called back. He knew that up where they flew was no place for pride. "I gotta be honest, that last one was almost more than I can handle right now."

"I think it'll be about the same, maybe less," Nate replied. "It'll be more spread out over the whole backswing at least."

Jason nodded. "Alright, I'm up for it. You want wider swings?"

Nate nodded and Jason moved his body, gaining altitude in tandem with Nate.

Nate draped his swing over the hook and moved to the higher platform. Jason watched as he stepped up and he could tell that Nate was counting the seconds, getting the timing perfect for whatever his jump was going to be.

He had to admit that he was as nervous as he was excited. This was going to be new, something Jason hadn't seen before, so he couldn't envision the work of Nate's previous catcher. But that was what made it so exciting.

He saw Nate unhook his swing as Jason was headed into his back swing. 'Ok,' he thought, 'here we go.'

When Nate jumped, it was too fast for Jason to get to appreciate the full effect; part of his mind was grateful that Rodney always filmed things like this. The rest of Jason was tracking Nate, figuring out trajectories as Nate spun, then twisted into a tumble. Nate didn't reach for Jason until the very last second, when Jason had already started his backswing. Hands clapped onto wrists, and Nate's momentum sped up the backswing, but Jason was expecting that. As they neared the apex of the backswing, Jason got an idea; it could be brilliant, as long as whoever was catching Nate was stronger than Jason was currently.

Adrenaline coursed through Jason as they swung forward again, partly because he'd just caught an original Stackhouse flight, and partly because of his idea. He couldn't wait to share it with Nate.

Jason tossed Nate back to his swing and he caught it as effortlessly as Jason had ever seen. Jason sat up and watched as Nate did a very well put together dismount flip down onto the net. As Nate bounced, Jason caught a look at his face; Nate looked as excited as Jason felt.

Once Nate was off the net, Jason did his own flip down and let himself bounce an extra time as he pictured his idea again. "Nate," he called as he flipped off the side of the net, but Nate was already hurrying toward him.

"Oh my god!" Nate exclaimed as he rushed toward Jason, "I had an idea when we did that!"

"Me too," Jason grinned and gestured toward the still swinging catcher's bar. "It would have to be someone like Wes catching you right now but what if on that back swing you flipped up..."

"And got on your bar!" Nate finished his thought. "Whoever caught me would maybe have to do it by my feet though."

"Well, that was-" Jason heard Rodney start as he came up beside them, but Jason cut him off. He was on a roll and couldn't stop.

"Not necessarily," Jason knew they were both talking fast, but this idea was brilliant. "You could curl up with your knees between the catcher's..."

"Hey," Rodney tried again.

"Ooh, yeah and then flip up at the end of the backswing!" Nate laughed, and Jason liked the excited color in Nate's cheeks.

"Hello..." Rodney said, drawing out the 'o'.

"Then, what if I flipped off the bar and the catcher caught my hands!" Nate continued.

"Yes! Then he could toss you back to the swing."

"Shit! That's brilliant!" Nate shouted and Jason thought Nate was just a second away from grabbing him and spinning him around.

"As the person who says whether you stay or go," Rodney said firmly. "I think maybe you should talk to me before you go off making plans."

"Right," Nate said and turned toward Rodney.

No one could ever predict the way Rodney would react, but Jason hoped the ridiculous smile on John's face was a sign that Nate got the job.

"So, does he pass, boss?" Jason asked with a grin.

Rodney looked between the two of them for a minute, and then glanced at John, who was still grinning like a maniac. "Well we should really look over the footage again," Rodney started, but then Jason snatched the camcorder from him. "Hey!"

"No, I agree, let's review it! I wanna see that last brilliant shot like you guys saw it down here," Jason rewound the tape and kept it out of Rodney's reach at the same time. Rodney gave up when Jason hit play and Jess, John, and Nate all gathered close to see it.

By the end of the tape, Rodney and John's quiet comments had turned into interested surprise (Rodney), and enthusiastic exclamations (John). Jason grinned as he closed the viewer. "So boss, is he in?"

Rodney glared at Jason for a moment longer before turning to Nate. "No nets during performances, remember. Still up for it?"

Nate grinned and Jason thought he could see every last one of his teeth.

"Absolutely," Nate said confidently.

"Alright then, you won't perform this city since the troupe already has it all worked out, but when we roll out, you come with us. You have a week to get ready to leave."

Jason could barely contain his excitement. He wanted to run and tell the rest of the troupe that they had Stackhouse now.

"I don't need a week," Nate said.

"Well go get your trailer then," Rodney waved Nate away. Jason grabbed his jacket and threw it over his uniform before following Nate out. "I'll have the boys scoot over so you have a space," Jason grinned and gestured toward the circle of trailers. "That double wide is Wes and D's, I'll scoot over and you can park between us."

"Okay. See you in a bit then," Nate said as he headed back toward his truck.

---

Wes popped his head out of the trailer when he heard Jason's engine turn over.
"Well I guess that answers that question, D," he said, answering Damien's inquiry about whether or not Wes thought Rodney would hire Stackhouse.

"Guys!" Jason said excitedly as he rushed toward their trailer. "Guess what!"

Wes chuckled and descended the steps, letting Damien out of the trailer as well.

"I'm firin' up th’ grill tonight fer a party, yeah?" Damien grinned as he followed Wes outside. Wes could see that Jason was nearly vibrating with excitement.

"Yeah! Rodney told Nate to go get his trailer!" Jason was grinning almost ear to ear.

"Fantastic!" Damien clapped Wes on the shoulder. "When do we get ta see ‘is interview tape?"

"When do we get to see him?" Wes corrected. "Seriously, that man has the stuff legends are made of. Think how amazing he'll be with a troupe like us."

"He said he'll be back in a little bit," Jason told them. "Oh man, you guys should have seen it! He was amazing! It was fresh! He'd never performed that jump before."

Wed laughed and draped an arm over Damien's shoulders. "I think Jase may be a bit smitten, D," he said.

"Yeh, but we knew that'd happ'n. E's only been followin' the man's every move for the last ten years at least," Damien joked.

Wes smiled as the blush crept up Jason's neck. "Come on, D, let's get ready. We have to welcome the man properly." He turned toward the spot where Damien's grill was and spotted Ladon coming around Katie's trailer. He turned back to Jason. "Will you be joining us tonight, Jase?"

Wes watched the grin slide off of Jason's face as he caught sight of Ladon. "I hope so," he sighed.

"Jason," Ladon smiled and slipped his arm around Jason's waist. "How'd it go?"

"It went great," Jason leaned into Ladon's shoulder. "Rodney's signing him on."

"Good," Ladon smiled and kissed Jason. "Ready to go home?"

"We’re gonna cook out when Nate gets back with ‘is trailer," Damien said, but Ladon shook his head.

"Practice is early tomorrow and Jason and I need our rest."

Wes felt the anger rising in his throat. Jason was his family; he'd been with Rodney's circus as long as he and Damien had. Ladon hadn't come in until Jack retired and they needed another tight rope walker. He knew it wasn't fair to be excited about one person coming in from the outside and hate another, but Ladon hadn't ever fit in with them.

"Seems to me like Jason is a big boy and can take himself to bed," Wes couldn't stop the words before they tumbled right out of his mouth.

"Yes, he is," Ladon remarked. "But if I let him hang out with you two not only would I never see him, but he'd be as worthless as you are."

Wes reached out and stopped Damien as he started toward Ladon. He didn't want to, but they all knew how Rodney felt about them performing with bruises. "Not yet, D," Wes whispered.

"Right, like you're ever going to let him off his chain," Ladon said, and Wes very nearly let Damien go. He refrained though; Wes could hear the sound of a diesel engine approaching and he didn’t want Nate’s first impression of the troupe to be sullied by walking in on a fistfight.

"Unlike you," he said calmly, "I don't keep my lover on a chain. He's free to do what he likes. I just don't think Jack would appreciate it much if he has to come out of retirement and walk on his bad knee because you can't get off the floor."

Wes saw Jason's eyes harden before he drew away from Ladon and glared at all of them. "This is supposed to be a good day, guys. Do we really have to do this?" He turned and stood in front of Ladon and squeezed his hand. "Come on, Ladon, let's hang out for a little while at least. It's still early anyway. There'll be plenty of time for sleep."

As Nate’s truck and trailer pulled carefully into the spot Jason had made for him, Ladon used Jason's grip on his hand to pull him away and around the side of the trailer. His angry voice could still be heard but Wes couldn't make out what he was saying. "Man that guy's a piece of work," Damien sighed as he turned back to his grill. "I'd give a lot to be able to pound him into the ground right now."

Wes sighed and joined Damien. "I know, a one of these days I won't stop you." He turned and looked back toward the place where Jason had disappeared. He hated that his friend had gotten caught up in such a fucked up relationship. "I doubt we'll see Jason again tonight."

"Hey."

Wes turned back and saw Nate Stackhouse walking toward them. He couldn't keep the smile off his face. "There's the man of the hour!"

"Wes, right?" Nate asked.

"That's right, and this is Damien."

Nate chuckled and looked at Damien. "I watched the video of your stunt," he said.

"Oh I could have killed him for that!" Wes said and punched Damien in the arm.

"Aw come on! The crowd loves it!" Damien protested.

"Hey, where's Jason?" Nate asked. "He and I had an idea while we were flying and I wanted to talk to him about it."

Again, Wes felt his anger flare. He'd been so excited just a few minutes before, and now the man Jason had fought to get into the troupe was there and Jason was holed up with his asshole boyfriend.

"Think he called it a night," Wes said and hoped his disappointment wasn't evident on his voice.

"Oh," Nate said, and Wes thought he sounded pretty disappointed himself.

"What’s yer idea then?" Damien asked as he sprayed lighter fluid all over the briquettes in his grill. "Also, fire in the hole!" Damien grinned and Wes quickly herded Nate back. D dropped a lit match above his grill and ducked.

FWOOPH!

The fireball had barely dissipated before D was on his feet again. "Yer idea?" he prompted again. Wes noted with amusement that Nate was staring at D with an open mouth.

"Oh, well I want to work on it with Jason first before we talk about it." Nate finally answered.

D nodded and pulled his smokes out of his pocket. "Fair enough. Next order of business. Tell me you're a meat eater. I keep those veggie not meat things around for Adrian, but I really am not a fan of cookin' em. Smoke?"

Wes took one of Damien's hand rolled cigarettes and offered one to Nate. "I only allow myself one of these a night," he said and handed the tin back to Damien when Nate shook his head.

"Oh yeah, I eat meat with the best of them. I don't mind vegetables, but a burger is supposed to be made from cows, not carrots, green beans and beets."

Wes couldn't help but laugh at that. "Holy hell, Nate, you're gonna fit in perfectly here."

Damien grinned and nodded, "he'll fit in better’n Ladon ever did, no question! Yeh drink, mate? There's a selection a beers an alcohol an mixers in that cooler. Help yerself. I gotta go dig up th' meat," Damien wiggled his eyebrows teasingly at Wes as he headed into their trailer.

"Did I see the dinner signal?" Wes heard Jack call. A moment later he and Daniel made their way into the circle of light cast by Wes and D's yard lights. Not far behind them were Teyla, Ronon, and Katie.

"D's just gone in to get the meat," Wes answered. "Everybody, this is Nate Stackhouse, our newest trapeze artist."

Once the introductions were done, Wes went to the cooler and pulled out a beer for himself and one for Damien. Nate joined him and chose the vodka and a soda.

"So, you liking it so far?" Wes asked and Nate mixed his drink.

"Yeah, everyone seems pretty cool. I just wish Jason were here, I'd really like to get this idea hammered out so we can get it on the books."

Wes nodded. "He'll be around tomorrow," he said.

"Hogging all the brews as usual I see," Jack said ad he pushed his way between Nate and Wes.

"Eh shut it, they're ours to hog old man," Wes replied playfully.

"I'd be careful if I were you, Wes," Nate said. "Given the beating he gave my door a few times, I'd be willing to bet those scrawny arms pack quite a wallop."

"Scrawny my ass," Daniel said, joining them at the cooler. "His arms are my second and third favorite parts of his body."

"Don't ask what 'is first favorite is unless yer okay with an NC-17 reply," Damien called from the grill.

"I already kinda figured," Nate laughed.

"So do you catch too? All I've ever seen is you flying," Katie asked curiously as she pulled a bottle of dark beer from the cooler.

"I've caught in practices," Nate answered, but never in a performance."

"No worries, mate, we'll get yeh trained up," D called. "How do yeh like yer steak?"

"You cook more than just well done?" Nate gave D a jokingly wide eyed look.

"I happen to be th' Grill Master," Damien informed him. Wes hid his smile behind his beer bottle.

"Well in that case I'll have mine medium well," Nate decided.

Damien laughed. "After all that shock yeh order it well dead but with a juicy center? Listen ta this guy, Wes. Probably doesn't even know what ‘e really wants. Here, 'm gonna make yeh th' Damien Sevoir Special, Stackers."

"Oh god, Damien, don't!" Katie laughed.

"Naw, 's good, Katie," D grinned. "I just got a new batch a sauce an spices from my mom. No green stuff this time, I swear!"

"That sauce is too strong for beef," Katie protested.

"Who said anythin' about beef?" Damien asked innocently. "This is buffalo. I know a guy here; called 'im before we got in an then we picked it up when we took Allie into town."

"Speaking of Allie," Wes trailed off as he went to their trailer door. He poked his head inside and glanced around. "Hey Al, you hungry?"

"Oh god yes," the girl's voice preceded her body by only a fraction of a second. "I'm starving!"

Wes smiled as he jumped off the steps, giving her room to fly out of the trailer. "Allie, slow down," he laughed. "I want to introduce you to the new guy." He put a gentle hand on the back of Allie's neck and guided her toward Nate.

"Nate, meet Allison Sevoir, our daughter. She's the most talented eight year old you'll ever see on the silk."

"Nice to meet you Allie," Nate said as he bent to shake the girls hand.

"Nate Stackhouse?" Allie asked. "Oh my God! Uncle Jason is going to have a stroke!"

Damien laughed as the fire on the grill flared for a second. "Allie, no fair talking about Jase when ‘e's not around to defend himself."

"Oh right. Daddy I want mine medium rare."

"We already know babe," Wes said and patted her shoulder.

Wes smiled as Nate watched Allie trot off toward the grill. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

Nate looked at him for a second before he answered. "You guys are such an eclectic mix. You’re Irish and Damien's Australian. I've heard a few other softer accents as I walked through. There are more same sex couples here than Richard Woolsey would have been comfortable with and you and D even have a kid. I'm thinking I'm going to like it here."

Wed chuckled and draped an arm over Nate's shoulders. "I think you're gonna love it here. The thing is, for all the YouTube videos we've seen of you, we know nothing about you personally. So..."

"So," Damien interjected. "The real question is whether you're gay or straight."

"Damien Sevoir!" Teyla admonished.

Nate laughed and shook his head. "It's fine, Teyla. Actually, I'm about as gay as you can get without being flaming."

"I knew it," Jack grinned when Nate looked at him curiously. "Gaydar," Jack said conspiratorially as he tapped his temple.

"Well there is a first time for everything," Daniel replied lightly as he settled in the chair next to Jack.

"Hey I've been practicing this Gaydar thing!"

Wes chuckled went to help D with the grill. "The obvious follow up question, Nate," Wes started, but Nate grinned and shook his head.

"Nope, not seeing anyone."

"Shame," Damien sighed. "'s no fun ta just be friends with yer right hand."

"Daddy!" Allie smacked him lightly. "I am right here, and that is gross!"

Damien laughed. "Sorry Sunbird. Here's yer steak, yeh want th' sauce?"

"Mmm of course I do!"

Damien handed her plate to Wes, who slathered the Sevoir Special Sauce over the steak and then gave it to Allie.

oOo

"Hey Jason."

Jason's eyes snapped open when he felt Ladon's hand on his hip. "Not tonight, Ladon, I have a headache," he sighed.

"Are you gonna pout all night?" Ladon sounded annoyed and Jason almost laughed.

"You're the one who said tomorrow's a big day and we needed our sleep," Jason reminded him. He could hear everything that was happening at D's and it hurt that he couldn't be there.

"I just want some time with you baby," Ladon whispered.

Jason turned away from him and faced the wall, the wall that Nate and the others were on the other side of. "You want all my time," he said sadly.

"Is that so much to ask?" Ladon spoke as his hand rubbed over Jason's hip to his belly, where it slid under his shirt. "We're in a relationship, Jason. I let you have plenty of time with the troupe; you help choreograph the acts, you practice with them, hell, I even let you eat with them sometimes. I want you to myself at night."

Jason took Ladon's wrist and pulled his hand off of his stomach. "I said not tonight."

"I think your head is just fine," Ladon said angrily. "I think this has to do with that new guy out there. You want him, don't you?"

"Seriously, Ladon? I don't even know him; I've caught him once and nearly broke my knees in the process. What I want is to be able to hang out with my friends for more than a few minutes at a time. I'm tired of this jealousy you have going here. You don't need to stake your claim every time I'm around the guys. Everyone knows we're together, no one has ever tried anything with me since you came along."

"You saying they did before?"

"It doesn't matter, that was before."

He heard Ladon's put upon sigh a moment before the hand returned to his hip. "Come on baby, I want you."

"No. I'm going to sleep, if I have to do it on the couch to get some peace, it's fine with me."

"Fine," Ladon huffed and Jason felt him turn over.

Jason sighed softly and closed his eyes, listening to the happy voices through the wall and wished he was out there with them... and happy.

Jess would kill him if she really knew what this thing with Ladon had turned into. She was already disappointed that Jason had even gotten with him in the first place. If Jason was being honest with himself, he was mad at himself too. Ladon hadn't seemed like the overly jealous type when they started seeing each other, but the signs had been there. Jason had just been too blind.

Now, he was stuck. He could hear D and Carson and Laura's voices in his head, telling him to just leave; walk out of that trailer and stay with them until Ladon had been moved back into his own space. Jason couldn't do it though. As much as Ladon pissed him off and made him unhappy sometimes, he also made Jason feel special.

Jason sighed, told his brain to shut up, and tried to sleep. It was early yet, but if sleep was his only escape, he was going to take it.

---

The next morning, Jason woke up sore and cranky. Ladon was still asleep, so Jason crawled off the end of the bed, took a quick shower and left the trailer. Something low in his gut clenched tight when he saw Nate's trailer parked between his and Wes and Damien's. He heard Nate's voice in the back of his mind, saying that he was gay.

He thought about the way Nate wouldn't tell Wes and Damien about their idea until he'd talked to Jason about it. Mentally, he counted the number of times he heard his own name in Nate's voice and thought about knocking on the door. Instead, he just sighed and turned away.

Last night had been Nate's first official night with Rodney's circus, Jason had fought for him from the second Jack had mentioned his name. He should have been there to help welcome him, but he was laid up in bed with a man he could barely stand to look at anymore.

With another heavy sigh, Jason walked toward the meal tent.

oOo

Damien woke up with a blissfully sore rear end and memories of quiet late night sex.

"Morning sleepy head."

Damien turned toward the voice of his lover, smiling at wet hair and towel covered hips. "I was jus’ thinkin' about ya," he said. His accent was always thicker when he first woke up, and when he was aroused, but he could say the same about Wes.

Wes chuckled, closed the door to their bedroom and dropped the towel. "I bet you were," he replied as he opened the closet and pulled out a tee shirt and Damien's favorite pair of jeans. They were dark blue, tight and hung low on his hips. "You know what I was thinking?"

"What?" Damien asked as he rolled out of bed.

"You should shower, and then we should take Nate around and show him off to everyone."

"Everyone who wasn't here last night, you mean." Damien said, moving up behind Wes' still naked body and pressing his own equally nude form against him.

"Right." Wed turned and wrapped his arms around Damien's shoulders, pulling him even closer and kissed him deeply. "Now go shower."

Damien groaned as Wes broke the kiss and gave his order. It wouldn't be hard to get Wes over to the bed for an early morning snuggle, and more, but Wes was right. They had things to do today, and showing Nate around was one of them. "Alright," he said, pulling on a pair of pajama pants and heading for the bathroom.

Once he was showered and dressed, Damien and Wes had banged on Nate's door expecting to wake him up, but Nate had opened the door almost immediately. Now they were a quarter of the way around the circle of trailers and Nate had met Siler, Amelia and Chuck, the lighting specialists, and Keller and Laura. Carson's trailer was next and D was happy the yapping dogs weren't out yet.

"Let me guess," Nate chuckled as they came to a halt outside the fence around the trailer's yard. "Dog man."

Damien grinned. "Carson Beckett is our dog trainer, our medical doctor, and sometimes our relationship councilor. Oi! Carson! Dogs! Radek!"

An unholy barking racket was triggered by Damien's shouts. A few moments later a wild haired, thin framed man in pajama pants opened the trailer door with his foot. Dogs streamed into the yard as the man struggled to get his shirt on. "That's Radek," D added.

"Damien!" Radek snapped once his shirt was on. "You are not to do this with the dogs. Carson was asleep!"

"Everyone’s asleep until they’re woke up, Radek," Damien supplied helpfully.

"We came by to show off our new member," Wes said and pointed to Nate. "Nate Stackhouse, Radek Zelenka, and somewhere inside there is Carson. D already told you about him."

"The pleasure is mine Mr. Stackhouse," Radek said and came across the yard with his hand extended. "It is an honor to have someone of your talent join us. The trapeze hasn't been quite the same since Aiden's accident. The boys have been stretched too thin."

"What're yeh talkin' about, Radek?" Damien asked incredulously. "We haven't been stretched any more’an usual."

"I don't think that's what he meant D," Nate said, slapping Damien playfully on the shoulder. "It's nice to meet you, Radek. What do you do?"

"I am head tech and lighting department. I make you look good," Radek said through a smile.

"That's not all he does," Carson spoke as he came out of the trailer.

"Ano, am also contortionist," Radek added as Carson came up beside him.

"It's good to meet you, Nate. I'm sorry we weren't able to come to the festivities last night," Carson said as he shook Nate's hand.

"No worries," Nate told him. "We've got plenty of time to get to know one another."

"That we do, Welcome aboard Nate."

"Come on Stackers, we've got a lot of people ta meet an less time ta do it," Damien said and guided Nate away from Carson's trailer.

---

"Hello boys."

Damien rolled his eyes and turned toward the annoying voice of Ladon Radim. "Hey, Ladon. It was awfully quiet in your trailer last night. Not feeling well?"

Wes chuckled and posed Nate forward just a bit. "Nate Stackhouse, meet Ladon Radim," he said lightly.

"Hey Ladon," Nate said and held out his hand.

Damien scowled as Ladon rolled his eyes and ignored Nate's hand. "I know full well who he is," Ladon spat.

"Well aren't you pleasant?" Nate asked and pulled his hand back.

Ladon scoffed as he walked forward. "I'd be careful if I were you buddy," he said softly and bumped Nate's shoulder with his as he walked by.

Damien turned and watched him walk away. "That sounds suspiciously like a threat, don't yeh think Wes?"

"It certainly does, D. I think I might have to loosen that chain sooner than I expected. I simply cannot have two of my troupe mates being threatened."

"Two!?" Ladon shouted and turned back to face them. "I'll have you know that I've never threatened-"

"Hey!" Jack shouted from nearby. "Ladon! If you've got time to cause trouble you've got time to get your ass up on that wire! Don't think you don't need the practice, I saw you nearly misstep last practice. I won't have Daniel's life threatened by a dipshit like you."

Damien smiled and waved as Ladon stalked toward the changing rooms.

"What the hell was that about?" Nate asked.

"Eh, he's a newbie that never fit in," Damien told him truthfully.

"He's a jackass is what he is," Nate replied.

"Truer words have never been spoken," Wes said.

"Who's the other person he threatened?" Nate asked.

Damien sighed, not wanting to step into something he should steer clear of. Then again, maybe it would be good for Jason if Nate knew.

"There you guys are!" Jason interrupted before Damien could get the words out.

"Here we are!" Damien grinned. "Yeh gonna help us with the two penny tour?"

"Actually, I was hoping we could cut that short for now. I wanted to talk to Nate about this idea we had," Jason grinned. "Once we get it fleshed out, we can talk to you guys about it."

"Aw, yeh make us feel so left out," Damien joked. He steadied his gaze on Jason, letting him know exactly how he felt.

Jason lowered his head and shrugged. "I'm sorry, but this is something we have to work out on our own before anything else can happen."

Damien nodded, knowing Jason took his meaning, and that Jason wasn't talking about his and Nate's idea.

"Don't keep us in the dark for too long though, you know how Damien gets," Wes added.

Jason chuckled but it sounded dry and humorless. "Yeah, I know. Come on, Nate."

Nate looked and Wes and Damien, nodded and followed Jason away from them.

oOo

Nate followed along beside Jason and wondered what had just happened. The entire conversation between Jason, Wes and Damien had sounded cryptic and had Nate curious. He wondered for a second if Ladon had anything to do with that.

"I'm sorry I missed the party yesterday," Jason said as he led Nate towards the trailers. "Wait here," he gestured at the table outside his trailer. "I'll get some paper and we can draw out the idea fully and then we can show it to Rodney and the others." He disappeared into the trailer, and then came back with a pad of paper and pencils.

"So I was thinking we'd start as we did at your tryout," Jason started as he sat down, not giving Nate any time to get a word in. "Then your catcher would catch you and at the top of the backswing you'd get up on his bar."

Jason sketched it out on the paper, pausing at the catching point. "Wes could probably catch your feet, maybe even D could do it, but I think hands are better."

Nate nodded and watched Jason as if he could figure something out just by looking at him. After a moment he shook himself and spoke. "Yeah, it's risky catching the feet. Maybe we could do that in a year or so, after we've all worked together and know each other’s styles."

He watched as Jason nodded. "That'd be better," he said. There was something different about Jason this morning, but Nate didn't know him well enough to tell what it was. Maybe he just wasn't a morning person.

"So," Nate added after a moment. "I hook my legs over the catchers bar; we'd still be swinging hard from the force of the catch. As the bar swings forward, I'd sit up and by the time we reach the back swing I'd be standing." He watched as Jason sketched the act.

"Then on the upswing, you could flip off and the catcher would catch your hands again. That would help strengthen the swing again." Jason spoke as he drew.

"We'll have to time this just right. Teyla or Katie could grab my swing once I fly to Wes, and throw it back out just before Wes tosses me back."

"Question is," Jason asked, finally looking at Nate for more than a second. "Is it a regular toss back, or are you going to do a famous Stacks flip on the way back."

Nate laughed and shrugged, "We'll have to see the timing first. If Wes gets enough swing from catching me the second time, I might be able to flip back."

"I guess it depends on when the swing is thrown back out too," Jason added, looking down at his drawing.

"Yeah, it'll take some practice, but I have no doubt we can do it. Hey, are you guys going to practice sometime today?"

"Most likely, why?"

"I'd like to watch if no one minds."

"I'm sure no one will mind," Jason said and closed his notebook.

It was quiet for a moment and just as Jason moved to get up, Nate spoke.

"Jason."

"Yeah?" Jason asked, tucking his notebook under his arm and standing up. Nate stood up as well.

"Look, I know we don't know each other but, is everything okay?"

It looked like Jason was going to sit down but instead he just nodded. "Everything's fine just... I guess your flight was a little too much for me after all, I'm a little sore today."

Nate felt his expression change, if he'd known he'd hurt Jason he'd have asked for another catcher. "Damn, I'm sorry, Jason. You're still going to be able to perform tonight, right?"

Jason smiled softly and nodded. "I'll be fine, Nate, don't worry about me." He nodded again before turning and walking away.

Nate watched him go, wondering what it was that was bothering him so much, and hoping he hadn't offended Jason.

---

Nate dialed the phone and made his way back into his trailer.

"Tell us everything!" His mother demanded when the line picked up.

"Hello to you too mom," Nate said with a light laugh.

"Stop beating around the bush kitten, we know you were hired."

"And just how do you know that?"

"Richard told us. He called us the day after you told us about your interview and we told him you had one. He called Rodney last night to ask if he'd hired you and then he called us with Rodney's answer."

Nate sighed and chuckled. "I'm a big boy mom; you don't have to keep checking up on me."

A soft sigh made its way across the line before his mom spoke again. "So, how's your new troupe?"

It was Nate's turn to sigh. "They're great, something’s bothering me though."

"It's just because you aren't used to them. You've performed with the same people for the past several years. It's just going to take you time to get used to the new ones."

Nate sat on the couch, looked at the poster on the back of the door and hoped his mom was right.

"Oi! Stackers! Practice time!" Damien called from outside Nate's trailer.

"I gotta go, mom."

"I heard," Nate's mother laughed. "Have fun, kitten. We'll talk soon."

D was waiting for him when Nate came out. "Yeh ready?" he was dressed in the red and gold uniform, a hand rolled smoke in one hand.

"Yeah, but I'm just watching this time, right?" Nate asked as they walked.

Damien nodded. "Think Jess is gonna measure yeh fer a new uniform too. So can you tell us about the stunt yet?"

Nate shook his head. "Maybe tonight we can get the whole troupe together and Jason and I can tell you. I think he wanted to run it by Rodney though."

"Mm, I saw him talkin' ta Rodney before I came ta get yeh."

The tent was bustling with activity when they got inside. Carson had dogs over in one of the rings; Nate was pretty sure he was training a group of them to be a walking pyramid. In the other ring, Radek was having a discussion with Evan Lorne and David Parrish, who were clowns, if Nate remembered correctly from his brief meeting with them. The main ring was still set up for the flyers; Jason was working some complicated looking move with Wes as his catcher.

"They're a well oiled machine."

Nate turned and saw Ladon standing behind him. "Yep."

"They don't need you to throw a wrench into things."

"You know, Ladon, you're the only one who seems to think I'm going to be a problem."

"Maybe that's because I'm the only one in this place that knows who you really are."

"Oh yeah? And who is that?"

"A risk, a threat to those five people up there. We all know what happened at Pegasus. Why you left."

Nate took a deep breath and leveled a fierce gaze at Ladon. "You want to walk away from me right now," he practically growled.

Ladon laughed. "Take it easy Nathan," he said as he walked away.

"Ladon!" Jess snapped, making both Nate and Ladon jump; neither of them had noticed her approach. "Why are you such an idiot? Have you forgotten I'm Rodney and John's proxy when they're not here? You think you're being slick, but you're really not. Like at all. Now get up on that damn tightrope and do your job."

She turned back to Nate and smiled. "You wanna watch for a while or shall I get your measurements first?"

Nate grinned as Ladon slunk away like a scolded puppy. "Buh-bye sweetie, you take care now. Don't... You know, nearly misstep like you did last practice." He chuckled until Jess cleared her throat.

He looked up at his troupe then over at Jess. "Nah, you can get my measurements and then I'll watch."

"Alright, come on then," Jess said and started out of the tent.

Nate followed her to her trailer and stepped inside.

"Ladon is a real ass pain," Jess said as she pointed at the spot where she wanted Nate to stand. "Don't let him get to you, and if he causes too much trouble, just tell Rodney."

Nate shrugged, only to be smacked hard on the ass.

"Be still!" Jess said firmly. "Unless you like your uniforms looking like shit."

"Sorry," Nate said and stood perfectly still with his arms out to the sides as Jess had positioned him. "I can handle Ladon."

"Mm," Jess hummed noncommittally as she quickly took Nate's measurements. She wrote them all down as she did them; arms, shoulders, chest, waist, inseam, and legs. "Okay, any special requests?"

Nate put his arms down and shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Okay then,” Jess smiled at him. "It's nice to have you here; the troupe seems jazzed again."

"Thanks," Nate smiled. "I guess I'll go watch now. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll get to fly today too."

"Knowing D and Wes, I'd count on it."

Nate closed Jess' trailer door, turned, and came face to face with Alison Sevoir. "Hi Nate," she smiled up at him, "you going to practice?"

Nate took in her flowing uniform of white, red, and gold and nodded. "I take it you are too."

The girl nodded and walked at his side back toward the tent. "Yeah I have a lot of work to do on my new act. This is the first one they've let me design all by myself and I need it to be perfect," she glanced up at him with wide eyes. "Will you watch me go through it and give me your opinion? Please? I know you want to watch the flyers, but I really want you to see it."

The ring where Carson had been working was now set up with the rigging for flying silk and Nate could see Damien looking over every inch of it. "Sure, I'll watch you," Nate answered, and Allie squeaked and gave a little jump.

"Brilliant! Okay, it'll just be a minute," she hurried off to her father and he helped her get set up. Laura and Radek came over and had a quiet discussion about the ropes before they both nodded and then little Allie was up in the air.

As she began her routine, Damien came to stand next to Nate. "Think my girl's gotta crush on yeh," he chuckled. "She hardly ever asks fer anybody special to watch 'er practice."

Nate laughed lightly. "She's a cute kid," he said as he watched Allie twirl above them. "She really is talented too."

D grinned. "That's my baby. She's always kinda been an overachiever. Yeh get all measured fer yer new kit?"

"Yeah, I just got done before Allie found me," Nate answered.

Nate looked back up and watched as Allie spun, waving the silk beside her. She'd incorporated all the crowd favorites into the act, spinning by her foot and then by her neck. He could certainly tell that she was circus born.

"Hey," he said to Damien without taking his eyes off the little girl high above him. "Is it okay to ask who Allie's mother is? I mean, it's obvious that she was born here, and everyone treats her like family."

Damien chuckled, "of course it's ok to ask. Laura Cadman, the tiger girl gave birth to her. Wes and I wanted a baby, we were very close to Laura so she offered, and we took her up on it. Allie knows, but Laura told her it's okay to just call her Laura."

Nate nodded and clapped as Allie started descending the rope. "Very nice!" he commented happily. "I didn't see a single thing wrong with it."

"Really!?" Allie squealed as she rushed toward him, wrapping herself around his legs.

Nate laughed and put a gentle hand on the girls back. "Perfect," he said.

"Did you see daddy? Did you watch me?" she asked Damien.

"I sure did, sunbird, you were amazin'."

Allie giggled and hurried off in the other direction.

"You gonna watch for a bit?" Damien asked. "We took a break so Wes and I could check over the silk."

Nate nodded and looked up at the trapeze. Jason had moved over to the catchers bar and was now catching Katie. "Is Jason okay today?" he asked. "He said the jump I did yesterday was too much for him and I hurt his knees. That was probably why he went to bed early last night."

Damien shrugged. "’e took an Advil before practice but ‘e wasn't complaining about it. Jason's good about being honest with ‘is injuries. ‘e had a big day yesterday, lots of excitement. Jason's a fan, you know. Allie wasn't lyin' last night. ‘e probably crashed off his meds. That happens sometimes an ‘e goes to bed early."

"His meds?" Nate asked, curious.

"ADHD," Damien answered.

"Ah," Nate nodded. He watched Jason grin at something Katie said as they swung out of a catch. A moment later, Jason flung her high into the air and as she flew, she curled into a ball and tumbled almost all the way down to the net, only breaking out at the last moment for her landing on the net.

Jason came down a moment later and once they were both on the ground, he grabbed her and spun her around.

Nate felt his stomach fall just a bit at sight of the two. He took a breath and looked back at Damien. "I'm guessing it's break time before we go again?"

Damien was smiling when he turned away from Jason and Katie to face Nate. "Yeh, that'd probably be best. Hey, you hungry? Wes an I have a fridge full of leftovers from last night."

"D always makes enough to feed the entire circus even though only a handful of people ever show up," Wes said from behind Damien.

"Well I don't want anyone ta feel left out if they do show up. Besides," Damien replied, "it leaves us with food for the next day."

Nate chuckled and looked over to where Jason was still happily talking to Katie. "Yeah," he said, looking back at the other two men. "I could probably eat."

"Jase, Katie," Damien called and they both looked over. "We're all going to our place fer leftovers. Coming?"

"Yeah! I'm famished!" Katie replied right away.

Nate noticed Jason look around the tent hesitantly before joining their group below the silk. "Yeah, since I missed it last night," he said.

"Lovely," Damien slung an arm around Nate's shoulders and steered him out of the tent, the other's close behind. Nate noticed that Jason and Katie stuck close together, discussing something as they walked. Katie laughed at something and shoved at Jason's arm, and he grinned.

"So, yeh want the Special Sauce again? Yeh liked that, right?" Damien asked as he ushered Nate inside the double wide trailer.

"Yeah, that was pretty good," Nate replied.

He and Damien got the food together and Wes came in to grab plates. When they came back out, Jason and Katie were bent over a pad of paper, drawing out what looked like a new idea.

"Whatcha got?" Damien asked as he set steaming plates of food in front of them. Damien set his and Nate's plates down at the other side of the table.

As Nate sat down across from Jason and watched Jason's face light up. "We need to check with Allie and ask her if we can borrow from her act, but when Katie and I were up there we watched some of her practice. Look," he turned the notebook around for Nate and Damien to see. "When Katie launches, she's going to aim for my upper chest. We're trying to figure out how to work it where she spins down one of my arms during the backswing. I don't know if it'll work like we're thinking but we wanna play with it some more later."

"Wow," Nate said and took a bit of his buffalo steak. "That sounds pretty cool. You'd have to wear white sleeves that night or Katie's powder would show." He knew Jason probably knew that, but he felt like he had to say something since he was looking so hard at the other end of the table.

"Yeah, we've got several different outfits to choose from," Katie replied.

"In fact, it's probably time to design some new ones," Jason added.

"Yeh should talk to Allie about that," Damien said. "She's taken an interest is fashion design lately."

"She's got some pretty good sketches too," Wes said through a mouthful.

"Hey, have you guys ever thought to add Allie in on the trapeze?" Nate asked. "She may not have enough power to launch herself all the way to the catcher, but-"

"Oh I saw that on YouTube!" Jason exclaimed excitedly. "Someone posted a bunch of old Pegasus trapeze acts. You were what, four or five?"

Nate smiled at Jason's excitement. "Three actually."

"You were on trapeze at three?" Damien asked.

"Not really," Nate replied. "I'd climb up, jump to the catcher, he'd get a good swing going and toss me up to the stationary bar."

"Stop being modest," Jason poked playfully. "I have the link on my laptop, D, I'll show you later. But the catcher threw him to the stationary bar, then that guy would toss him back to the catcher, who'd toss him over to his dad on the swing. Then his dad tossed him to another male flier on the platform and he'd do this cute little wave before jumping down to the net."

"Damn, Jase," Wes said lightly. "How many times did you watch that video?"

Nate could swear he saw Jason blush before he bowed his head and said, "a few. I was trying to come up with new ideas."

Wes and Damien laughed and Nate took pity on Jason's embarrassment. "Allie's too heavy for all of that, but we could figure something out if she and you guys are interested."

"Maybe," Damien shrugged. "She's never shown as much interest in the trapeze but we'll mention it again."

oOo

When Jason finished his lunch, he cleared his plate and waved at them. "I've got to go check in with Jess, see what's going on."

"Yeah, I'm off too guys," Katie smiled. "See you in a bit."

Nate waved at the two of them as they left. He hated the dark hollow feeling he'd had since he saw Jason and Katie on the trapeze. He'd just gotten there but Jason had never given any hint that he was even bi-sexual or interested in Nate at all, except in a professional way. He had no reason to feel that way, except that it had been Jason on that video that had started Nate thinking that Rodney's might be the place for him.

"Ah that was good," Wes groaned as he moved over to the couch.

"Better the next day," Damien said and joined him.

Nate turned in his chair until he was facing Damien and Wes. "So," he began conversationally. "Jason and Katie huh?"

"Huh?" Damien gave Nate a strange look. "What are you talking about?"

"Jason and Katie?" Wes laughed. "Naw, there's nothing there. Jason is as gay as you and I are."

Nate looked at the two men for a long moment, the tightness in his stomach loosening just a bit. "Oh," he said, "I'd have never guessed. He and Katie seem so..."

"Close?" Damien asked.

"Yeah."

"Rodney got them from the same circus," Wes told him. "They grew up together."

Nate felt ridiculous, he didn't really know why, it wasn't like he knew.

Damien laughed and Nate looked at him. "Yer a little smitten aren't ya?"

Nate smiled shyly and dipped his head. "I've taken a bit of an interest, yeah."

"Okay then," Damien said. "But it's gonna take more’an a bit of an interest ta get ‘im outta his current situation."

"Situation?" Nate asked.

"D," Wes said, "maybe we shouldn't be the ones to say anything."

"I know, I've been warring with myself over that."

Nate watched the two for a minute before things clicked into place. "Ladon," he said, it wasn't a question. He's seen plenty of guys like him in his life; he didn't know why it didn't click before now.

"Smarts," D nodded.

"So when you said Jason probably crashed off his meds," Nate continued, "what you meant was that Ladon kept him at home."

"It's been almost a year now," Wes sighed. Nate could tell he wasn't really comfortable talking about Jason when he wasn't there. "It's pretty rare we see much of Jason outside of practice and performances these days."

"He's not happy," Nate didn't make it a question.

Damien shook his head solemnly. "No, ‘e isn't."

"What can we do?" Nate asked. He knew there wouldn't be much they could do. It had to be Jason's fight.

"Support him," Damien sighed and sat back. "There's not much more we can do."

"Don't start anything with Ladon either," Wes added. "Believe me, Rodney I aware of the troupe's issues with Ladon, even if he may not know the particulars of Jason's situation. According to Jess, Rodney's getting pretty tired of hearing complaints."

"Does Jess know?"

"I don't think so," D replied. "Or at least not fully. She's smart though. I bet she knows more than she lets on."

"Speaking of Jess, we should get back to the tent before she comes looking for us," Wes got up and cleared the table. "Suit up," he added with a glance at Nate. "We'll probably get you flying at some point."

oOo

The troupe ran through their routine twice without a hitch before Wes called a stop. Damien kept swinging as he looked down at where Nate still stood watching them. "Oi, Stackers! Wanna fly?"

"You gonna catch me, D?" Nate asked, but he was already out of his jacket and climbing the ladder.

Damien watched Nate powder his hands and take the bar Teyla offered him. He grinned at Damien and pushed off the platform, curling his body up and around his bar at the height of his swing.

Damien took Nate's clues and shifted his weight, making himself swing wider. He watched as Nate played gracefully on his bar before finally looking like he was ready to get down to business.

"Careful, D," Jason said from the platform behind Nate. "He has some power behind him."

"So I've heard," Damien called back, keeping his eyes on Nate.

After a few more swings, Nate left his bar. Damien focused all his attention on Nate's trajectory, thankful that Rodney kept video cameras trained on all the practice areas.

The catch was flawless, hands and wrists meeting with a satisfyingly dull slap.

Wes' whistle sliced through the air as Damien prepared to toss Nate back to his bar. "That was graceful!"

Damien smiled proudly as he released Nate, watching him twist himself in the air to catch his bar.

"Oh yeah," Damien said loudly, "this is going to be a brilliant partnership!"

"Glad you think so," Nate called back once he was back on the platform.

"I can't wait to see what you bring to the next show!"

---

That evening Damien held a massive cookout for everyone. He was happy to see that even Ladon and Jason showed up, though Ladon stayed pretty much attached to Jason's side the whole time. After the fourth time Ladon led Jason away from talking to Nate, Damien had had enough.

"Jason, why don't you get the sketch of that idea you and Nate had," D grinned. "Rodney's here, and we're here, and I know we're all dyin' ta hear it."

Rodney turned toward them and nodded. "You did mention wanting to show me something."

Jason glanced and Nate and smiled. "Alright," he slipped out of Ladon's arm and went to get his notebook.

Damien grinned at the disappointed look on Ladon's face as Jason hurried away.

"I'll be right back," Rodney said once Jason was in the trailer. "I need another beer."

"Ha, Rodney and his special beer," Adrien, the lead acrobat laughed as Rodney left.

“Rodney’s special beer is damn good,” Allison Porter, another acrobat, poked Adrien in the side. “You should ask him for one some time.”

“And get my head bitten off?” Adrien shook his head. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

"You should have seen Nate's flight yesterday, D," John said, obviously changing the subject, before tipping back his beer. "It was amazing."

"We've heard," Wes said.

"Whas'sa matter, Ladon?" Damien asked when Ladon huffed loudly.

"Nothing," Ladon scoffed. "I just don't get as excited about a man that yanked someone's arm out of socket."

"Ladon!"

Damien turned toward the shout and saw Jason standing just outside the circle of light given off by the Chinese lanterns.

"What? It's what happened."

"Ladon," John said in a warning tone.

"None of us know what happened," Jason said.

"We don't need to know what happened, we know that there's a man out there that will never perform again."

"Ladon, shut the fuck up," John growled.

The tension in the air was so thick, Damien thought he'd be able to reach out and touch it. He wanted to launch out of his chair and beat the hell right out of the man, but Rodney would be back at any moment.

"It's fine guys," Nate said softly. "I think I'm going to head to bed anyway." he got out of his chair and headed toward his trailer.

"Nate," Jason said as he turned to watch him.

"Don't go, mate," Damien said, "you haven't even told us yer idea yet."

"Jason can tell you," Nate said as he disappeared into his trailer.

Every eye in their party turned to glare at Ladon.

"Come on, Jason," Ladon said and put a hand on Jason's elbow. "I think it's time we turn in too."

"No," Jason turned and pulled his arm out of Ladon's hand. "You can go to bed if you want, but I'm not done. Though I won't be needing this tonight," he shoved his notebook into Ladon's arms. "Please put that back on the table."

"Jase," Ladon said, obviously trying to sound hurt.

"No, Ladon," Jason said and took a step back. "What you said tonight was unforgivable."

Ladon's face hardened and he opened his arms, letting the notebook fall to the ground. "Fine, remember that when one of you is laid up in the hospital."

Damien wanted to stand up and cheer as Ladon walked away, but he knew that would only make matters worse. He looked at Nate's trailer, a light was still on and he was tempted to knock on the door. He'd seen Nate's face when Ladon had mentioned his catcher. That was still an open wound and the lover of the man Nate had the hots for had just poured salt into it.

"You know what, maybe you should sleep in your trailer tonight," Jason called as he collected his notebook off the ground.

Ladon stopped and turned back to glare at Jason. "If that's what you think you want, I promise you'll regret it."

"Just go," Jason shook his head and turned back to the group.

Damien's heart sank as he watched the drama. Jason and Ladon did this every couple of performances and it always ended the same way.

“I’ll catch Rodney before he comes back,” John said has he got up. “You can show us the idea later, Jason.”

Jason nodded and John clapped him on the shoulder before making his own way across the circle.

oOo

Wes sighed and he pulled the covers over himself and Damien. "Well that happened again," he said.

"Yeah," Damien replied with a matching sigh. "Maybe Nate bein’ ‘ere’ll change the outcome, but I doubt it."

"Damn, Nate. I can't even imagine what he's feeling. I mean, we tell him not to start anything with Ladon and then Ladon says something like that."

"He'd have been in ‘is rights ta beat the fuck right out of ‘im. No one would have blamed him."

"No," Wes said and pulled Damien closer. "But he'd have blamed himself."

"Yeah, I guess," Damien said and rested his head on Wes' chest.

"I mean, Pegasus used to be one of the best until Woolsey sold it. Who knows what was going through anyone's mind that night Nate fell. We've all seen the video, it looked like Nate was the only one with his head in the game."

"That's because ‘e's professional above all else."

"We saw that tonight. Anyone else would have beaten the shit out of Ladon."

Damien shook his head and moved closer. "This always happens right before a show."

Wed nodded and draped his arm over his eyes, "I know."

Damien nosed at Wes' skin before snuggling closer and wrapping his leg around one of Wes'. "John saw the whole thing this time at least."

"Rodney already knows that Ladon is a problem. What he needs is another tightrope walker first. It can't be Daniel all alone and Jack can't do it anymore," Wes stroked Damien's back as he talked.

"I wonder if Nate knows anyone from Pegasus who might be good," Damien mused as he arched into Wes' touch.

"Mmm," Wes hummed as Damien's hand slid below the covers. "Maybe, not sure right now is the right time to ask him though."

"Nah, maybe after this week," Damien said before planting a soft kiss to Wes' chest.

Wes moaned softly and turned toward Damien. There was no reason to even pretend they were going to sleep. He pulled Damien in close and kissed him, squeezing handfuls of Damien's naked ass. "At least we don't have any problems," he said after he broke the kiss.

"Us, have problems?" Damien grinned as his hand wrapped around Wes' quickly hardening cock. "Never us."

Wes groaned and kissed him, not just to make D stop talking but also to keep himself quiet. He traced along the crack of Damien's ass with his finger as Damien moaned into Wes' mouth.

They never actually fucked during performance weeks, which was something Wes hated at the current moment. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself deep in Damien's ass. Instead, he just shifted his weight, rolling Damien onto his back.

"God, why did we make that rule again?" Damien sighed, even as he reached for the lube and poured some into his palm. He reached between them and liberally coated both of their dicks.

"Mm, because it's hard to perform well with a sore arse," Wes huffed as he lined them up and ground down.

"Oh!" Damien gasped. "Right."

Wes whimpered as he began thrusting against his lover. "Fuck, D," he groaned and captured Damien's mouth is a sloppy kiss.

Damien whimpered softly and arched below Wes. "I can't wait until this week's over," he whispered in Wes' ear. "I'm gonna ride you so hard an fast."

"Jesus, Damien," Wes groaned and pressed down harder. "You can't say stuff like that when we're doing this."

He shifted his weight again, pulling Damien with him until they were laying on their sides. Reaching between them, Wes wrapped his hand around both their dicks. "Tomorrow," he breathed as he and Damien matched each other’s pace as they thrust into Wes' hand. "I'm blowing you."

Damien pressed his mouth to Wes' shoulder as he shuddered against him. "Yeh like it when I say stuff like that. I'll be all nice and tight after a week of nothin' in my arse. Yeh can do just enough ta get us slick and then press in."

"Agh," Wes grunted, and rolled Damien back onto his back. He pressed his hands under Damien's shoulders, using them as handles to help him thrust faster.

He knew Damien was close because of the way his hips stuttered as he thrust up against Wes. His own breath was leaving him in tight little grunts. Damien had told him once that those grunts were how he knew Wes was close.

Damien moaned and gripped Wes's ass hard, pulling down tight.

Wes shuddered when he felt the heat of Damien's come spread between them. He gentled his thrusts, easing Damien through his orgasm. Only a moment later, his muscles tightened and he whispered out a moan as he came.

Damien sighed happily and kissed him, his hands rubbing up and down his back. Wes stayed there for a moment before rolling to the side and grabbing a towel left next to the bed. "I always worry we're not being quiet enough," he chuckled as he gently cleaned them up.

"Mm," Damien stretched languidly and pulled Wes close again after he tossed the towel back off the bed. "I can always gag yeh next time," he grinned.

Wes laughed lightly and snuggled against Damien. "Maybe after the show."

"Nah, after the last performance of the week, Allie'll be at Laura's, we can be as loud as we want."

"Oh yeah," Wes smiled and pulled Damien closer, going back to their previous position.

oOo

Nate finally rolled over and closed his eyes against the small amount of light that was almost constantly present at the circus. It was what he was used to, what he'd grown up with. In fact, when he'd had that small apartment, he'd had to sleep with the bathroom light on, because he didn't know how to sleep in complete darkness. Usually it didn't bother him, but tonight was a different story. He couldn't turn his mind off. He kept re-playing his last night at Pegasus, watching himself fall, thinking of the sickening pop he felt when he grabbed Dean.

Ladon was right; Dean's career was over, even if he did do something else with the circus, he'd never fly again. Trapeze was what Dean loved, it was what he chose to do and now he wouldn't do it again.

He wondered if it was at least partially his fault. Was he reckless like Ladon thought he was? He'd known that Dean's timing was off, and yet instead of waiting another few beats before jumping, he'd let go when he was supposed to. Instead of just falling, which was something crowds expected from time to time, he reached out and grabbed one of Dean's arms, even though the man wasn't in the position to catch him.

Then more recently, he'd hurt Jason. He hadn't intended to, and it wasn't that bad, but that was beside the point. He'd seen the video, seen Jason flying rather than catching. When he met Jason in person, he'd seen the man's slighter frame, his shorter stature. He hadn't paid that any mind though, he'd only thought about impressing his would be boss, and he did a jump he knew had a lot of force behind it, twice. One of which he'd never actually performed. He should have either done a lighter flight, or insisted that Wes catch him for the interview. He'd been selfish though, he wanted it to be Jason that caught him. Jason had caught his eye from the moment Nate saw him on that video. Of course, Rodney's circus was full of beautiful people, and Damien and Wes were far from ugly, but it had been Jason that made Nate's stomach tingle, Jason that made Nate want to work for Rodney.

Now though, Nate wasn't sure if it was what was best for anyone involved. He'd never run from anything in his life, but that had been a life born and raised in one place. He didn't know anything else, and he didn't know how to be at Rodney's.

Part of him wanted to hitch his trailer up and head for the hills, but he was being selfish again, he'd had fun today. He'd enjoyed his time in the sky with this troupe, and he was going to listen to that part.

In his younger days, he'd just have gone to his parent’s trailer and laid all his worries on their table, and they'd make him feel better. They'd tell him he was right or wrong and help him figure out what to do and where to go. His parents were in Florida though, retired and happy, and most likely asleep at the moment. He'd have to figure this one out on his own, and he would, he'd done it before.

As much as he hated seeing that miserable look on Jason's face, he knew he'd have to back off. For whatever reason, Jason wanted to be with Ladon, and Nate had no right to interfere with that.

After several long moments, Nate rolled onto his stomach, hugged his pillow and went to sleep.

Nate woke to find Jason knocking on his door. "We weren't sure if you wanted to have breakfast with us this morning," he said quietly. "I'm sorry for what Ladon said. He's being an asshole. None of us share his opinions."

"You don't have to apologize for him," Nate replied. He pulled on pants and a shirt over his boxers and left the trailer with Jason.

"Yes I do," Jason sighed. "He hangs around our troupe because of me."

"Well, he's your boyfriend, it's what's expected," Nate replied as he followed Jason to the meal tent.

Jason didn't speak. He just shrugged and dipped his head.

They found the rest of the troupe going through the breakfast line and caught up with them at the table they chose.

"Mornin' Stackers," Damien said as he dug into his biscuits and gravy. "I'm afraid house meals'll have to do it for ya fer the next five days."

"No problem," Nate replied as he took a bite of his own breakfast.

"Yeah, but just you wait until after this city," Wes said cheerily. "There's nothin like one of our post performance barbecues."

"Damien goes all out for those," Katie smiled.

"Okay everybody!" Conversation around the tent died out and all eyes turned to look at Rodney, who was standing in the center of the the tent. "We're expecting a full house tonight. Sales look just as good for the rest of the week. It's time for focus and no mistakes. The last circus that came through here was...I'll leave it at disappointing. These people are waiting to be impressed, and I know we can go above and beyond that," with a nod, Rodney turned away and sat next to John for his own breakfast.

"No pressure," Nate muttered, but Damien just smiled and clapped his shoulder. "It'll be great."

Nate wasn't worried. He wouldn't be performing tonight anyway or at all this week, but he knew that the last circus Rodney had mentioned was Pegasus. It had been almost three months since they were here, but Rodney's was the first circus through this town since they left.

"I can't believe Rodney said that," Katie said softly. "he knows you're sitting right here."

Nate shrugged, "he wasn't lying," he told her. "Pegasus was pretty disappointing."

"I'm sorry it keeps getting mentioned," Jason said. "I mean it wasn't your fault, but between Ladon and Rodney, you must be feeling like shit today."

"It is what it is," Nate replied, purposefully not agreeing or disagreeing. "It happened, I'm not happy about it, but I don't need to be treated with kid gloves because of it. Who knows whose fault it was, it doesn't matter anymore anyway."

He took another bite of food. He hadn't meant to sound that abrasive, but what could he do about it now besides apologize for being his own kind of asshole.

"I'm not worried about the performance," he said, changing the subject. "You guys are the best, I don't think you have it in you to disappoint anyone."

"Rodney wouldn't have said that if he thought it had anything to do with you, Nate," Teyla reminded them. "He wants you here and he knows you're going to do great things. Rodney doesn't say things like that without reason. He's simply motivating everyone to perform to the best of their ability."

"Stackhouse, Damien," Rodney called, "a word, please."

Nate looked up when he heard Rodney call his name. He and Damien stood up and followed Rodney over to the side of the meal tent.

"Wassup boss?" Damien asked and leaned against one of the support poles.

"I was thinking," Rodney looked between Nate and Damien. "After the trapeze act, do you want to do some improv? I hate not letting Nate fly but there isn't time to work him into the planned act."

Damien grinned. "I'm up for it. Nate?"

Nate smiled and nodded, "yeah, I'm up for it. Just do a few moves as a sort of introduction to the troupe."

"Exactly," Rodney said. "I'll make sure your uniform is ready by tonight. You can suit up and after the act, Cam will introduce you as our newest member and Damien will catch for you."

"Sounds good," Nate said. He'd been a little disappointed to learn that he wouldn't be flying during this performance, but he understood. This was perfect though, it was a chance for him to prove to this city that he wasn't a screw up.

Jess found Nate later with the rest of the troupe in the big top. "Ready to try on your new outfit?" she grinned.

"Absolutely," Nate waved at the others and followed her to the changing area. Jess handed him the uniform and stood outside while he changed. The fit was barely any different from his old uniform.

"Well?" he heard Jess ask as he turned in circles in front of the mirror.

Nate smiled at himself. "It'll take a while to get used to looking down and seeing red and gold," he chuckled.

Through the mirror he saw Jess peek inside. "It fits good though?"

Nate nodded. "Yeah it feels great."

"Good! Now go out there and fly for a bit and make sure it works well," Jess shooed him out of the changing area.

"Lookit you!" Damien laughed. "Yeh ready ta try it out?"

"Yeah," Nate grinned happily. Damien gestured at the ladders and pulled his jacket off as Nate started to climb.

Once they were both in the air, Damien matched Nate's tempo. "What do you wanna perform tonight?"

Nate just swung there for a moment, shifting his weight to gain momentum. He watched as Damien did the same, preparing to catch him no matter why he decided to do.

"I don't know, I didn't think I'd be performing so I didn't think about it."

He let go, somersaulting once before opening his body and reaching for Damien. The catch was perfect and seemingly effortless. Damien tossed him back to his bar and Nate twisted before grabbing it.

Using his arms to pull his body up, Nate flipped over the bar before turning to face Damien again. "What do you think, Jason? You've seen a lot of my acts, do any of them look like they wouldn't be too far off from what you guys are doing tonight?" he asked before flying to Damien again.

Jason sat on the edge of the flyer's platform, his legs dangling off the edge. "Well, what we're doing is pretty different than most of Pegasus' current stuff was. Honestly I don't think you should focus on any one particular jump. We'll let you play around with ideas for a bit but neither of you should fly too much today."

"Ok, so just let it happen," Nate said once he was back on his bar again. "I can do that." He turned and swung back to the platform. Once he was on his feet again, he twisted and reached around himself and above him.

"How's it feel?" Teyla asked.

"Good, it's perfect." He looked at Jason, "Jess sews these on her own?"

"Yup, she makes all of our uniforms," Jason replied, looking proud of his sister.

"That's impressive. Why doesn't she do trapeze too?"

Jason sighed, "She was born with weak bones. The doctors said the only thing that saved me was that we aren't identical twins."

"Damn, bad luck," Nate said.

"Yeah, no one else in our family has it that we know of. Just one of those things I guess."

"Well, she's certainly good at what she does," Nate said as he stepped to the edge of the platform.

"Yeh gonna stand around all day or are yeh gonna fly?" Damien asked from where he was still swinging.

Jason smiled. "Do that flip you showed me the other day. The one we have the idea for."

"Oh, good idea," Nate said. He grabbed his bar, jumped off the platform and started swinging.

"Swing wide, D," Jason called out.

Nate watched as Damien started swinging wider.

"Why do I get the impression yeh know what ‘e's gonna do?" Damien called back.

"Because I do."

"Pay attention," Nate called. "I'm about to release."

"Gotcha, no worries," Damien called back.

Nate kept his eyes on Damien for a moment longer, making sure they were in sync. Damien was bigger than Jason, but smaller than Wes. He didn't want to take the chance that Damien would be distracted and his jump would hurt him.

He squeezed his eyes closed for a moment and pushed everything except the jump out of his mind. Him being distracted or feeling inadequate could lead to injury as well.

After a moment more, Nate let go of his bar, did a double somersault and twist before reaching out for Damien's hands. Another flawless catch and something inside Nate's stomach unclenched.

"See now," Damien smiled down at him as they swung. "Yer worked up an worried an I saw that. No worries, Stackers," he tossed Nate back at his bar and grinned. "Is this part of that move you guys haven't showed us yet?"

Nate swung back to the platform and hooked his bar. He should have known that his feelings would show on his face and body language. Especially to someone who had done this for as long as Damien had.

He sighed and looked over at where Damien was sitting on his bar. "Yeah, that's the beginning of it. How was the catch?" he asked.

"Forceful," Damien shrugged. "I can take that though. You put a lot of power in that jump. I take it you guys had more planned."

"Yeah," Jason grinned. "You wanna try it?"

"Lay it on me," D replied eagerly.

"Okay. When you catch him, flip him up on your bar on the backswing," Jason instructed.

"Flip ‘im?" Damien asked. "Onto th’ bar?"

"Yeah," Nate said, getting excited about the idea again. "Just swing me back, I'll use the momentum of the back swing and our clasped arms to swing my body up. I'll hook my legs over your bar, between yours."

"Sounds erotic," Damien joked.

"I'll sit up and get to my feet when the swing starts forward. At the hight of the upswing, I'll flip off and by the time the back swing gets started, you'll catch my hands again."

"That'll give you more momentum on back swing again," Jason added. "Then you toss him back to the bar, he'll do a fancy flip and come back."

"It won't take long to complete, but Jason will keep my bar swinging ready."

"What do you think?" Jason asked.

"Let's try it," Damien grinned. "Come on, Stackers, gimme yer best shot."

Nate swung again, getting his altitude before he took a breath, envisioned what he was about to do, and launched. Damien's hands clapped around Nate's wrists and that's when he noticed the problem.

"Yer turned the wrong way, mate," Damien chuckled. "I can turn yeh."

"Do it," Nate laughed. Damien let go of one wrist and grabbed Nate's other arm with both hands as Nate twisted his body. A moment later, Nate was watching Jason's grinning face recede as they flew backwards.

"Up yeh go!" Damien warned, and Nate was ready as Damien let Nate swing as far as the apex of the backswing would let him.

The momentum of the back swing made getting his body curled easy. With his legs draped over Damien's bar, their asses pressed together must look pretty comical, and he hoped Rodney was filming this as well.

Getting into a sitting position was a little more difficult than he'd expected. He was working against gravity at this point. He managed, however, with much less tugging than he'd have thought it would take.

Once he was on his feet, he had to wait for the upswing again since it took him so long to actually get to standing. Finally, though, he pushed off, tumbling once before reaching for Damien.

"Thought yeh were gonna do two flips," Damien said.

"I was, but we need to practice this, I ran out of time," Nate laughed.

"Okay, ready to go back?"

"Yup."

"Here ya go, mate."

With that, Nate was flying back across the air only to see his bar swinging back toward Jason.

"Shit!" Nate laughed as he fell.

"What the hell!?" Rodney shouted at Nate bounced on the net, howling laughter like a maniac.

"Sorry mate," Damien hollered down to him. "Threw ya back too soon."

"Damien! Jason! Nate!" Rodney continue shouting. "You have a performance tonight! Get your asses down here and relax!"

Nate flipped over the net and came face to face with Rodney. "Tell me you had a camera on that! Please."

Rodney stared at him as Nate heard Damien land on the net behind him. "I always have the cameras running in here."

"Your face!" Jason howled as he rolled off the side of the net after Damien. "You should have seen your face when you missed the bar!"

Nate grinned and turned away from Rodney. "That move definitely needs more work, but that was a pretty cool first try."

"We'll work it more after this week," Jason clapped Nate on the shoulder. "It looked great though, I bet it's going to be a crowd pleaser. Didn't it look good, Rodney?"

"Mm," Rodney hummed. "The potential is definitely there. We'll clean it up later. Now, go back to your trailers or wherever, and rest."

"I think I need some core work," Nate laughed as the three of them left the big top. "It was entirely too difficult to sit up."

"That's gonna have to be a show starter," Jason commented, patting Nate on the shoulder. "You'd be too tired to pull it off at the end."

"No way ‘e could do it at the end," Damien agreed. "None a us could."

"Hey," Nate turned toward the shout. "Nate Stackhouse right?" the man asked.

"That's right," Nate said and held out a hand. "I don't think we've met."

"Cameron Mitchell," the man said, shaking Nate's hand. "I'm the ringmaster."

"Ah I was wondering when I'd meet you."

"I saw what you did in there," Cam said and hooked his thumb over his shoulder. "You looked good."

"Thanks," Nate said. "It was fun."

"It looked like it was. Hey, you want to grab a beer after the show tonight? I've got a few kinds in my trailer."

"Absolutely, sounds good," Nate accepted. Cam was another of those beautiful people Rodney surrounded himself with, and sharing his company wasn't going to be any great hardship.

"Great, I'll catch up with you later then," Cam smiled and turned away.

Cameron had a great smile, Nate thought as he turned back toward his troupe mates. Damien looked about ready to laugh out loud. "What?"

"You an Cam! ‘e came runnin' up to yeh like ‘e'd seen somethin' worth chasin!" Damien did laugh then.

Nate felt color rising on his cheeks and shrugged. "It's just beers," he said mulishly.

"He liked what he saw," Jason confirmed quietly. "I think I might actually take Rodney's order. I need to go home and get some stuff done before the show. I'll catch you guys later."

Nate watched as Jason turned and walked away.

"Don't mind ‘im, mate," Damien said and clapped Nate on the shoulder, leading him toward their trailers. "’e gets this way sometimes."

"You don't think he's upset that I'm gonna have a few beers with Cameron, do you?"

"Eh, yeh can never tell where Jason's mind is. I know ‘e's caught yer eye, and I love ‘im like a brother, but yeh can't just sit around and wait fer ‘im ta leave Ladon."

"I thought that's what happened last night." Nate dipped his head, "I heard the entire exchange through my wall."

"Yeh," Damien agreed, "but that happens from time to time. Look, don' worry about Jason, ‘e'll be alright. Come on, I want ta tell Wessers that you got a date with Cam tonight. Wes has a slight crush on ‘im yeh know."

Nate laughed, "First, it's not a date, and second, doesn't it bother you that your boyfriend has a crush on someone else?"

"Nah, he's crushin' on Cam, but I'm the one ‘e's givin' it to every night. We know where we stand, an that's together. Besides, it'd make me a hypocrite ta be mad at ‘im fer lookin' and Cam when I like gettin' an eyeful a Carson."

Nate laughed and flopped down into one of the lawn chairs outside Damien and Wes' double wide. "Good point."

oOo

"You causing trouble again, D?" Wes asked as he came outside the trailer. "Rodney just texted me and wanted to make sure you were actually here." He took in the expressions on Damien and Nate's faces and rolled his eyes. "Did he catch you flying?"

"Nate an Jason told me their new idea an we did a run-through," Damien grinned. "Rodney kicked us out, but then Cam comes runnin' up an invited Nate back to his for beers tonight."

Wes stared at Damien for a moment, Cam wasn't antisocial or anything, but he very rarely invited people to his trailer. "Wow," he managed finally. "That's great. You accept?"

Nate nodded, "Yeah, I didn't see any reason not to."

"There is no reason not to," Wes told him. "Cam's a great guy." He paused and looked at Damien. "Wait, did you say they told you their idea?"

"Yup," Damien grinned, "an we did a run-through. It wasn't anywhere near perfect, but even Rodney said it has potential."

"Was it hard? Tell me about it."

Nate laughed but Wes' attention was focused of Damien as he explained the jump.

"Sounds complicated, but amazing. Damn I wish I'da seen it."

"You'll have plenty of chances," Nate said, pulling bottle of water out of what was usually Wes and Damien's beer cooler. "It's going to take a lot of practice before it can be put in a performance. I did a spectacular fall there at the end."

Wes laughed and got a water of his own. "I can't wait to see the footage." He looked around, finally aware of their missing member. "Hey, where's Jason?" He didn't add that Jason always stuck to them like glue before a performance... and after a break up.

"Said he had some things to take care of," Damien shrugged, but Wes saw something in his expression. It had something to do with Cam and Nate, and if they didn't play this right Jason was going to have no reason to ever actually leave Ladon. "Hey wanna go to Carson's? We haven't picked on 'im in ages."

Wes laughed. "Okay let's go."

When they got to Carson's the trailer was still silent. "Damn," Damien sighed. "Ooh he has the loungers out."

"Dibs!" Wes said, jumping over the fence and flopping down on the chair that was slightly taller.

"Ah Wes, ya wanker!" Damien said as he sank down into one of the two lower chairs, the one on the right side of the door.

Nate took the second low chair, sitting beside Wes. "You guys are fun," he said through a chuckle.

"We certainly always try ta be fun, don't we, Wes? If we weren't fun we wouldn't be doin’ our jobs," Damien levered himself up, leaned over, and snatched Wes' hat off his head.

"Hey," Wes reached to grab his hat back, but D was already too far away.

"You get the big chair, I get yer hat," Damien grinned.

Wes heaved a put upon sigh and sank back into his chair. "Well I guess that's fair."

He watched as Damien sat back down, leaned back and dropped the hat over his eyes.

Nate chuckled and leaned further back in the chair. "Now what?" he asked.

"Now, we relax," Wes told him.

"We came to Carson's trailer to relax?"

"Nah, mate," Damien said from beneath Wes' hat. "We came here ta pick on 'im, but ‘e's still sleeping, the lazy ass. So we relax until he wakes up."

"Ah, I see," Nate replied.

Not even five minutes later, just as Wes figured Damien was working up to a light snooze, the trailer door banged open and dogs poured out into the yard, leaping on top of and over Damien. "Aagh!" Damien yelped.

"Och, well it serves you lot right for sitting there!" Carson laughed as the last dog jumped solidly on Damien's stomach on his way into the yard.

"Ah, Carson," Damien whined. "We just came to visit ya. Why you bein' mean."

"Because, you're sitting in my yard on Radek's favorite chair."

"This piece of..." Damien started before looking up at Carson. "It's a lovely chair."

"Uh huh," Carson chuckled.

"Uhg!" Wes grumbled. "Now it reeks!"

"Well," Radek said from the doorway. "You are essentially sitting in their bathroom."

Nate burst out laughing and vaulted over Carson's fence. "Sorry guys, but I don't lounge in anyone's toilet."

oOo

Jason stood just outside the rings and watched the crowd arrive. It was a good crowd; full of excitement and energy. They wanted great things, and Rodney's people were going to show them great things.

"Showtime," Cam murmured as he passed Jason, and then he was out in the middle of the ring. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages," Cam began, his amplified voice booming around the big top. "Are you ready to see wonders that will live in your imagination forever, feats that will leave you amazed?"

The crowd erupted into applause and cheers as people continued looking for their seats.

"We'll give you lions and tigers," Cam continued, "elephants, dogs and horses. We'll show you acrobatics, tight rope and contortionism! The clowns will put you in stitches and on the silk, eight year old Allie will steal your hearts.

When you leave tonight, your palms will hurt from applauding, but your spirit will be soaring as high as the fabulous Flying Firebirds!!!"

Jason listened as Cam told the crowd that hotdogs, cotton candy, shave ice and souvenirs would be available throughout the show. He really was good at getting the crowd’s attention, and apparently Nate's too. Jason sighed and went over to the rest of the troupe. They'd be the third act tonight, which was good since John wanted Damien on horseback tonight as well.

"We ready guys?" he asked simply to say something.

Damien was missing, since he was with Alison Porter and the horses, but Wes clapped Jason on the shoulder. "We're all set."

Jason nodded and moved to lean against the rail as Carson's dogs charged out to the center ring, followed by Icarus, Carson's grey cat. The crowd tittered at the cat bounding after the dogs, but as soon as Icarus leaped onto the largest dog's head and balanced there while the dog paraded around, the crowd was applauding.

"Ladies and getlemen, boys and girls, Carson's Amazing Animals!" Cam announced as Carson entered the ring.

Jason watched as Carson did a quick wave to the crowd before waving his little stick and instructing the dogs and cat into their first big trick.

The crowd applauded as Carson's terrier leapt up and stood on his back legs on top of the shepherd's back.

Jason laughed along with the crowd as each trick was performed.

"It's amazing what he can do with those dogs," Nate said, joining Jason at the railing. In the ring, the dogs were running one behind the other, Icarus running the other way, jumping from one dog to the next.

"He's good at what he does," Jason agreed.

"I'm impressed that none of his dogs have taken a dump yet."

Damien laughed as he joined them them. "They never do," he said. "Carson has more class than that."

"He's trained them all to poop on command," Jason chuckled. "It's hilarious to watch."

Carson ended the performance with all the larger dogs standing staggered around the ring while the cat and two of the small dogs leaped from back to back, ending with the three of them sitting up on the three largest dogs.

As the crowd applauded loudly, the clowns came out and made a big show of chasing the animals out of the ring. Jason glanced skywards, knowing what was coming next. The clowns were largely diversionary; giving the crowd something to watch while Daniel and Ladon climbed to the tightrope.

Jason felt his chest tighten a little as he watched Ladon climb. He missed him. It was strange to wake up alone, to not have someone there to talk to.

"And now," Cam announced, bringing Jason's mind back into focus, "Ladon Radim and Daniel Jackson will take your breath away as they perform dangerous and amazing feats in the sky! With only a thin wire separating them from certain death, see them defy gravity itself!"

Ladon was good, but not as good as Daniel was, even Jason could see that. Daniel carried his balancing pole half way across the wire, turned to face the crowd, and then turned and walked back the way he came. Ladon did the same, waving to the crowd behind where Daniel had waved.

Jason always held his breath when Daniel rode his unicycle over the wire. He didn't understand how they could do that. People thought trapeze was dangerous, but Jason thought tight rope was a thousand times more life threatening.

The crowed oohed and ahhed and applauded grandly as the act finished. As Cam and the clowns bounded into the ring, Jason glanced at his troupe.

"Shall we?" Damien grinned.

It had been decided that Nate would come up with them so that he wouldn't have to climb up while Cam announced him at the end of the act. Jason felt his excitement rising as they climbed. He loved this; flying above the crowds was what he lived for.

"And now, an event I know you've all been waiting for, the Flying Firebirds!"

The tent erupted in applause as the spot light shone on the trapeze and they all waved at the crowd.

Jason was catching tonight and he took a deep breath as he hooked his ankles under the hooks and leaned back. Damien and Teyla grabbed their bars and swung out as the music started. The crowd cheered as Wes and Jason caught them at the same time before tossing them back. The two flyers flipped once before grabbing their bars and swinging back to the platform.

They'd worked hard on this performance. They'd made it unlike anything they'd done before. It was getting difficult to make every show completely different, but they'd managed. Having Nate with them would make things easier. Jason pushed those thoughts out of his mind as he caught Katie. He needed a clear head for the performance, and especially for this move. Keeping his eyes on Damien’s swings, he timed it before throwing Katie through the air. The crowd gasped and applauded as Damien caught Katie, both of them swinging back and then launching at Wes at the apex of their forward swing.

They went through the rest of the performance. No mistakes were made, they'd practiced long and hard before tonight. One more jump, and Cam would be announcing the addition of Nate Stackhouse to their troupe.

Teyla and Katie swung on one bar while Damien swung on the other. They flipped and twisted, until they were in position to be caught.

Wes caught both of the girls while Jason caught Damien. A moment later, all three fliers were on the platform and Cam's voice was filling the tent.

"And now, it's my great pleasure to inform you that Rodney's Circus of Amazing Wonders and Feats has a new family member. It's my honor to introduce to you, flying for the first time as a Firebird, the incredible Nathan Stackhouse!"

Cam pointed up to the trapeze and the spotlight honed in on Nate. He waved and leapt off the platform, swinging high before releasing and somersaulting his way over to Wes.

Jason heard the smack of hands on wrists and swelled proudly at the perfect catch.

The crowd howled and clapped loudly as Nate was tossed back to his bar. As the applause died down a little, Jason could swear he heard someone shout "I love you Nate!"

Nate grinned out at the crowd before looking back at Wes. “Again?” his expression asked, and Wes gestured at himself. Nate flashed another smile before he grew serious, concentrating on whatever it was he had planned. He flipped and twisted toward Wes, his body lithe and graceful, and Wes caught him almost perfectly. They swung an extra time before Wes threw Nate back, and Nate performed a neat summersault before catching his bar and swinging up onto the top of it to sit and wave at the cheering crowd.

"Aren't they great folks?” Cam’s voice boomed around the big top. “They deserve another introduction. I give you..."

The light shone on each of them in turn as Cam shouted their names into the microphone.

The troupe stayed for the rest of the acts; most of them had secondary things to do after their performance was over. Rodney's circus was small still, and everyone pitched in to make things go smoothly. After Cam made the final thank yous and the crowd started clearing out, everyone pitched in for clean up. Finally, tired and slightly sore, Jason and the rest of the troupe closed down the tent and headed back for their trailers.

"Hey," Jason turned at the sound of Ladon's voice.

"Hey," Jason replied quietly. He was still mad at Ladon for what had happened, but just behind Ladon, Cam was jogging towards where Nate walked with Damien, Wes, and Allie.

"You looked great up there tonight," Ladon said as he caught up to Jason.

"Thanks," Jason sighed.

"About that beer," Jason heard Cam say to Nate.

Jason turned in time to see Nate grin at Cam. "Ready when you are."

As the two peeled off from the group and headed for Cam's, Jason turned back to Ladon. He felt torn between going home to an empty bed and thinking about what Cam and Nate may or may not be doing, or inviting Ladon (who Jason knew was bad for him and he was still mad at) to join him. He'd probably still end up thinking about Nate though.

Jason faked a yawn. "Well I'm beat. I'll see you all in the morning," he waved at Wes and D as well as Ladon before opening the door of his trailer. He didn't look back to see Ladon's expression.

oOo

Cam's trailer was directly across the circle of trailers from Nate’s. He followed Cam inside and sat down on the couch as Cam got two beers out of his mini fridge.

"You have a good voice," he said as he took the beer Cam handed him.

"Thanks," Cam replied, twisting the cap off his bottle. "I used to do acrobatics until I blew out my knee."

Nate took a long drink from his bottle and asked; "How'd you do that?"

"I decided to go to university. I tried out for the football team and I made the cut. After a few seasons, I started feeling cocky about my abilities and stopped being so careful."

"God tackled huh?" Nate asked.

"Spectacularly," Cam acknowledged. "I spent months in PT, and then I went back to circus life. I couldn't do acrobatics anymore though, so I started being the ring master. Rodney heard me when he was scouting for his circus and he made me an offer I couldn't pass up. So here I am." He tipped his bottle toward Nate and Nate clinked the neck of his bottle against Cam's.

"Here we are," Nate corrected.

"Right. So, what happened with you? I mean, we've all seen the footage and it wasn't pretty."

Nate sighed and told Cam the story of how Woolsey sold the circus and how Xao had destroyed it. "Everyone started tearing each other down," he said. "No one seemed to have their heads in the game anymore. I guess that even includes me. If it had been any other time, I'd have just let myself fall rather than reaching for a catcher that wasn't ready to catch me."

"Bates' injury wasn't your fault," Cam said, repeating the words Nate had heard a thousand times since it happened.

"Maybe not completely, but it wasn't completely his fault either."

"I'm not saying that," Cam moved over to sit next to Nate. "All I'm saying is that the team was falling apart and the trust wasn't there on all sides. You can't blame yourself for all of it."

Nate shook his head and looked over at Cam. He didn't want to continue talking about Pegasus Circus, but he wasn't ready to leave Cam's trailer just yet. "You got another beer?" he asked and drained the last of his bottle.

"Of course," Cam replied as he got up. Coming back a moment later with two more beers, he sat down beside Nate again.

Nate smiled at him as he took his bottle and opened it. He didn't think it was his imagination that Cam sat a little closer that time.

"So," Cam asked, "you seeing anyone from before?"

Nate chuckled and shook his head, appreciating that Cam seemed to have picked up on his subject change. "No," he replied. "I haven't been with anyone for a while now."

"Me neither," Cam shrugged. "It's been a while since anyone caught my attention."

The way Cam was looking at him made Nate ask. "And I've caught your attention?"

Cam smiled. "Yeah, you have."

Nate smiled and lowered his head, just a bit. "I'm honored," he said and took a drink of his beer. "You're a very handsome man, Cameron, gorgeous in fact. However, I've just gotten out of a bad situation, I ended a man's career, whether it was my fault or not. I'm not really looking for anything more than a few beers with a friend."

Cam nodded and tipped his bottle toward Nate again. "I can do that, although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed."

"I'm sorry," Nate apologized.

"Don't be, it happens. You're not sexually attracted to me, I can understand that. In fact, I think I may know why. That's fine too, he needs someone decent."

Nate chuckled and turned away, taking another drink.

"I hope my attraction to you won't discourage future beers though," Cam said, sounding hopeful.

"Of course not," Nate told him. "I may not be looking for a relationship with you, but as the new guy, I can use as many friends as I can get."

"Can I come in or are you two naked?" Nate heard a woman's voice call from outside the trailer.

"Is that Jess?" Nate asked.

Cam chuckled and nodded. "We're not naked, Jess. It's just beers."

"Ah but you yourself said earlier that you were interested," Jess grinned as she opened the door and came inside.

Cam groaned and went to get Jess a beer. "Well that isn't going to happen," he replied.

"Oh," Jess said as she sat on the chair across from the couch. She took the beer Cam offered her, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Jess," Cam told her, sitting back down on the couch, a little further away from Nate this time.

"Well, this is awkward," Jess chuckled as she took a drink.

"No it isn't," Nate replied. "It's just three friends having a beer."

He watched as Jess and Cam exchanged a look. "So Jess," he said, breaking the silence. "What'd you think of the show tonight?"

"It was great," she said excitedly. "You did very well, and the crowd simply roared when Cam announced you. Obviously you're a fan favorite."

Cam laughed. "Yeah, at least one woman in the crowd loves you, Nate. Or was I hearing things?"

"You were definitely not hearing things. In fact, her exact words were, and I quote, ‘I love you, Nate.’"

Nate chuckled and felt a blush creep into his cheeks. "If she only knew I prefer the company of men."

"Maybe she does," Jess said lightly. "Some women are into that you know."

"You being one of them?" Cam asked jokingly.

"Well," Jess said though a grin. "I came here tonight, didn't I?"

"Oh goodness," Nate chuckled. "What have I gotten myself into?"

"You love it and you know it," Jess laughed.

Nate shook his head lightly. "Now this is awkward," he joked.

oOo

"Ah," Damien protested, squinting his eyes as the sun glared off of Nate's opening trailer door. He and Jason were having a cup of coffee and talking about the night’s performance. "Watch the eyes mate, I need those ta see who I'm catchin'."

"Sorry," Nate said as he sat in the chair beside Damien. "Where's Wes this morning?"

"E's takin' a shower. What’re yeh doin' in your trailer anyway? I thought you'd be spendin' the night with Cam."

"Really?" Nate asked with his head cocked a little to the side. "You really thought that?"

"Well yeh, ya went over there last night."

Nate chuckled and shook his head. "First, I'm not that easy. Second, I'm not interested in anything more than a few beers with Cam."

"You're not?" Jason asked, leaning forward to see around Damien.

"No," Nate answered. "I mean, he's cute and he seems like a really great guy, but I'm just not attracted to him. To be honest, he's not my type."

"What is your type then?" Damien asked, turning his head enough so that Jason wouldn't see him waggling his eyebrow.

"Never really thought about it," Nate said nonchalantly.

Damien knew he was lying, Nate knew exactly what his type was, and Damien was pretty sure he knew too.

oOo

Jason was expecting to be woken up, but at least Damien had the sense and decency to wait until it was nearly noon. "Rise an shine, mates! Food's on! Enjoy it while it's hot an before yeh go inta town!"

Jason smiled to himself and dressed quickly before leaving his trailer. Stepping out into the sunlight, he saw Nate blinking at them blearily from his own trailer. "It's D's post performance party," Jason called to him.

Nate laughed, "D will take any excuse to have a barbecue, won't he?" he asked as he opened his trailer door.

"Pretty much," Wes answered from his chair.

"Absolutely!" Damien shouted happily. "We just came off a week a hard performin'. We deserve a well earned breakfast on the barbie!"

Nate laughed and flopped down in one of the chairs. "Did I hear D say you were going into town?" he asked, looking at Jason.

"He was shouting to everyone," Jason replied as he took a lawn chair. "I don't know if I will or not. Evan and David were talking about museums and greenhouses and I guess it would be nice to get out for a while. They always invite people to go with them. Did you know David has a doctorate in botany? He took years off the circus life to go to school for it."

Nate chuckled and shook his head, "No, I didn't know that, but I can't say I'm surprised. I only talked to him once but he went on and on about the plant in my window. He seemed utterly heart broken when I told him it was fake."

Damien laughed and threw more bacon on his portable griddle. "David thinks fake plants are the anti-Christ."

"No," Wes interjected, "not that they are the anti-Christ. He thinks they were created by him."

"Fake plants are great for anyone with pets or for those of us who can kill a plant if we look at it wrong," Jason laughed. "I'm awful with plants."

"You don't kill them by looking at them," David's voice preceded him into Damien's yard. "If you did then there would be a rash of plant deaths in every greenhouse you visited with me."

"Maybe he keeps his eyes closed," Nate joked. "I'm with Jason, though. For me, the plant killing process begins when I think about getting one. My mother has two green thumbs and can grow a forest from a single acorn. Me, on the other hand, I can't grow anything."

"Except yourself," Wes said with a laugh. "You're almost as tall as me."

Nate shook his head. "Would you believe that when I was young they thought I was going to be a dwarf? It took me forever to start growing. Woolsey actually started talking about hiring a tall man and starting up a sort of side show act. My mom almost decked him, so he dropped it."

Jason tried to imagine Nate as a dwarf and really couldn't. Before he could say anything though, Damien plunked down a plate of bacon, eggs, and two pancakes in front of Jason.

"You got the skillet part working again, I see," Jason chuckled.

"It was too tragic, not being able ta cook eggs an cakes outside last time," Damien grinned. "Eat up!"

Nate smiled at the plate Damien handed him. "Damn, it's been far too long since I've had a home cooked meal that looks this good."

"Why thank yeh, mate. Tuck in, it's better when it's hot."

Jason watched out of the corner of his eye as Nate dug into his food, then took a bite of his own.

"Anyone doing anything interesting in town today?" Nate asked as they ate. "I didn't do much besides eat at that diner Jack found me in, but I was thinking about hitting the mall. I could use some new civvies to go with my new life."

"You're going to the mall? Can I go with you?" Allie appeared out of seemingly nowhere at Nate's elbow. Jason laughed when Nate jumped.

"I was just about to say," Wes chuckled, "we were probably going to the mall too, knowing Allie."

"Jason?" Damien asked. "Yeh wanna go?"

Jason thought about that for a moment. "Yeah, I think I could handle a shopping trip."

"Great," Nate said happily. "It's settled then, shopping and maybe lunch at some stupidly rugged restaurant. I'm dying for a bloomin' onion!"

"Oh no," Wes said, but before he could say anything else, Damien cut him off.

"Oi! If yeh'da told me ya liked a good bloomin' onion I coulda made you one days ago!" Damien exclaimed. "However, this shoppin' trip gives me a good reason ta look fer a bigger and better deep fryer."

Jason smiled at his troupe mates as D and Wes got into a good natured argument over deep fryers. He finally refocused on his food and took a bite. Damien always made the best food; it was really a miracle any of them were in shape to perform with how much Damien always tried to feed them.

He looked up again as Katie joined them at the table. "Sounds like we're going shopping today," he told her.

"Hope someone warns the town," Katie joked.

"Hey, 'm not that bad," Damien tried to plaster an injured look on his face, but his grin was winning.

---

A half hour later, the food was gone and the trash was bagged and in the garbage truck but the conversation was still going strong as everyone piled into Nate's pickup truck.

Jason rode in the cab with Nate while the rest of the troupe were in the bed.

"Ay, ya know where yer goin' there, Stackers?" Damien asked, pecking on the window.

"Not a clue, D," Nate answered. "I thought we'd just drive around until we found a mall."

"Sounds like a plan," Damien agreed.

Jason laughed and shook his head. "He really is an idiot," he said jokingly. "But he's our idiot."

"And we love him," Nate added.

"Yeah," Jason agreed and nodded toward Nate.

He was happy Nate was fitting in so well. Now if he could just get his own shit figured out, everything would be perfect.

Once at the mall the group split up with the plan to meet at the play area in an hour. Jason and Nate decided to get the clothes shopping out of the way first, but it didn't take long for Jason to see something shiny out of the corner of his eye.

This time it was the Apple Store. "Jason?" Nate came up beside him as Jason was playing with the display iPad. "I was talking to myself as I walked for like five minutes before I realized you weren't behind me."

Jason chuckled and let the bird shoot across the screen toward the pile of wood and pigs. "Sorry," he said as he watched a couple pieces of wood break.

"Angry Birds, huh?" Nate asked as he activated the second display.

"It's stupid how addicting this game is," Jason replied as he pulled the second bird back.

"I know." Nate looked at Jason hard enough to get his attention and he looked up.

"What?" Jason asked.

"Bet I could beat you at this game."

"You think!"

"Only one way to find out."

"You're on pal," Jason said as he restarted the first level.

They were able to get through nearly twenty levels before a harried looking employee came over and gently told them they were going to have to let others try out the iPads. Jason sighed and turned off the game before turning to the employee. "How much for two?"

"Jason," Nate started, but Jason shook his head.

"No, it's on now. We gotta see who can beat who," he grinned at Nate.

Nate laughed and shook his head. "I'll buy mine then."

Fifteen minutes later, the two of them finally left the apple store and made their way toward the department store.

"I was totally winning though," Nate laughed.

"Oh, no you were not. I remember finishing at least two levels before you."

"Yeah, but I broke more wood."

Jason looked at Nate, trying to keep the broad smile from crossing his face, but he was failing miserably.

"Oh," Nate said as he broke into a laughing fit.

They managed to get to the department store without Jason getting distracted again. "Think you could pull this off?" Jason grinned as he held up a loud Hawaiian print shirt.

Nate took the shirt and held it against his chest in front of a mirror. "I don't know. Pretty hot though, don't you think?" Nate laughed and turned toward Jason.

Jason stared at Nate for a moment before laughing. "Hot in a burning my retinas kind of way," he snatched the shirt back from Nate and stuffed it in the rack. "Okay I have to get some new jeans."

"Me too," Nate followed Jason to the pants section, but then Jason lost track of him as he looked for pants he liked.

"Hey," Nate called a while later. "Come tell me what you think."

"Think of what?" Jason asked as he made his way toward Nate's voice. Jason looked up from the tag he was examining just in time to see Nate step out of the fitting room in tight, low slung black jeans.

"Um..." Jason stammered stupidly as he stared at Nate's hips.

"Yes? No?" Nate asked.

'Oh God yes, please!' Jason's mind screamed, but he said "Yes. They look good."

"Good, I like them. They feel good."

Jason wanted to put his hands all over Nate's hips, wanted to see for himself just how good those jeans felt. "Yeah," he replied blankly, still staring.

"What have you found?" Nate asked, peering at the bundle in Jason's arms.

"Huh? Oh, just a couple things I wanted to try," Jason glanced down at the pants. "Jeans and cargos."

"Well, let me change back into my jeans and you can model for me." Nate smiled and it nearly made Jason's knees melt. It was weird, he'd never felt this way about someone, not even Ladon when they'd first gotten together. Nate was doing stupid things to the butterflies in Jason's stomach, making him think things he couldn't remember ever having thought before. He'd had crushes before, in fact, he'd had a crush on both Damien and Wes when he'd first met them. What he was feeling now felt different though, it felt like more than a mere crush. It'd practically broken him when he thought Nate was going to sleep with Cam. Now that he knew Nate wasn't interested in Cam that way, the feelings in him seemed even stronger and stranger.

Nate came back out of the changing room a moment later, the new jeans draped over his arm.

"Go on, I'll be here," Nate said and sprawled out in one of the chairs.

oOo

Nate gave Jason a couple minutes before he realized Jason wasn't coming out. "Well, don't I get to see?" he called.

"The jeans look dumb," Jason sighed through the door. "The cargos fit good though."

"Let me see the jeans," Nate asked. He'd seen the brand and knew they were good jeans. He doubted they looked bad on Jason.

He heard Jason sigh heavily, but after a couple more seconds, the latch snicked, and the door opened. Jason came out with his head down.

Nate took in the tight fitting blue jeans, the way they accentuated the muscles on Jason's legs and the curve of his ass.

"Damn," Nate whispered breathily as Jason turned to face him.

"I know, they're stupid," Jason grumped as he turned to go back into the fitting room. "I'll find another style."

"No," Nate protested. "Those look great, Jason."

"They're too tight on my ass and they make my legs look lumpy," Jason complained.

"They don't make your legs look lumpy," Nate told him. "They show of your muscles, and I don't know if anyone's told you this before, but you have an amazing ass." He hadn't really intended to say that last bit, but now that it was out there, there was nothing he could do about it. He certainly wasn't going to take it back when it was true.

Jason gave him a surprised look, but Nate could see he was pleased. "You think so?"

Nate nodded as Jason studied himself in the mirror. "Heh," Jason mumbled to his reflection. "Ladon would be so pissed if I brought these back with me."

The mention of Jason's boyfriend, or ex, whatever he was, made Nate realize what he'd said. He wasn't sure what to say now. He could laugh and tell Jason that he should definitely buy them then, and that's what he wanted to say, but he didn't know how Jason would take that.

Wes and Damien had told him that Jason and Ladon had break ups every few shows, and always get back together. Nate hoped it'd be different this time, but he didn't want to get his hopes up only to be hurt when Jason took Ladon back.

"Well, let me see the cargo pants then?"

Jason turned and smiled at him. "Yeah, okay."

The cargo pants even managed to show off Jason's ass a bit, and after a little consideration, Jason bought both the jeans and the cargos. As they left the department store, Jason checked his watch. "We'll have to meet up with the others soon."

"Yeah," Nate agreed. "Oh hey, a Hot Topic."

Jason looked where Nate pointed and grinned. "I'm seeing hair dye and Rodney going purple in the face in our future," he laughed as he grabbed Nate's had, cut them across the flow of shoppers, and pulled him inside the dim store.

Nate wasn't sure how he felt about hair dye. His hair being as light as it was meant that the red would be very red. He followed Jason over to the dye anyway. "If we get the stripper, you could do your hair blue. You'd look good in blue hair," he laughed.

"Right," Jason replied, "it'd be my luck that the stripper would make my hair fall out."

"Maybe, but you might look good bald."

"Yeah, sure."

"Ooh, look, what do you think about this?" Nate asked as he held up a shirt with Queen on it. "This would look great with a pair of those black pants with the chains, don't you think?"

"Laura's really good at dying hair," Allie was suddenly beside them, which meant Wes and Damien wouldn't be far behind. "You could always ask her."

"Hey what are you doing in here?" Nate reached over and ruffled her hair a little.

Allie ducked back, giggling. "I love this store, and my dads like to come in and laugh at the Unmentionables, though Spencer's has more for them to laugh at."

"Well, your dads can go laugh at Spencer's if you want to hang with Jason and I," Nate said, looking at Wes and Damien.

"What are you guys doing?" Allie asked.

"Trying to figure out what color we should dye our hair. Want to pick a color for Jason and one for me?"

"Yeah!" Allie shouted and plopped down on the floor in front of the dye.

When they left Hot Topic, Jason had bright orange hair dye and Nate had green. They also had bags and bags of stuff from several stores.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready for lunch." Nate said and he tossed his bags in the back of the truck.

"BLTs an a Bloomin' Onion?" Damien suggested.

"If we're ready to go home, yeah," Jason agreed, glancing at Nate. "Anything else you want to do?"

"We should make a stop at a grocery store," Nate said as he climbed into the truck. "I think we're probably going to need more beer and vodka, right?"

"There's always a need for more beer and vodka," Wes replied, hopping into the truck bed.

"Well okay then, let's go." Nate started the truck and left the mall lot.

"Hey Stackers," Damien said when Nate parked at the grocery store. "Pick up a large onion and some nice lookin' steaks, will ya? Jason knows the kind I like."

"Alright," Nate called back as he and Jason headed toward the entrance.

Once in the store, Nate found that he had to keep Jason on task more than in the mall. He seemed to get distracted with everything; reading labels and the little ad signs and the magazine covers. After the third time Nate asked about the steaks, Jason groaned.

"Sorry, steaks, yes," Jason looked over the selection and picked out a bunch of one of them. "He likes those ones."

Nate looked down at the thick cut steaks and nodded. "Damn, those look good," he said as he pushed the cart toward the alcohol isle.

"We should get a bunch of snack foods while we're here," Jason said. "We'll be hitting the road in a couple of days and the good stuff gets picked over pretty quickly when an entire circus is getting easy traveling food."

"Good point," Nate answered. He put several bottles of vodka and different types of beer into the cart. "What's your favorite snack food? I'm partial to veggie straws and bananas myself, although I'm not one to overlook an occasional Ding Dong if it crosses my path."

"Smart Pop," Jason grinned, grabbing a couple bags of popcorn from the shelf. "Also grapes, cherries, and sunflower seeds. Oh, we should grab some Rockstars or Monsters, whatever's on sale."

"Oh..." Nate sighed, drawing out the 'o', making the word sound pleasured. "Cherries. I think those may be my one real weakness."

Jason chuckled as he tossed a few bags of veggie straws into the cart. "Well, we're going to have to get some then," Jason smiled.

Nate looked at Jason, unsure exactly what to think about what he just said. He smiled slightly, "Maybe we could share them."

Nate moved around the cart, reaching for the kettle cooked jalapeño chips and accidentally bumping his elbow against Jason's shoulder. "Oh, sorry," he said. He didn't know if Jason was wearing cologne or aftershave, or if he just naturally smelled good, but it was driving him crazy.

Jason smiled and didn't move away from him. "It's okay," he shrugged. "What's driving you crazy?"

Nate hadn't realized he'd said anything out loud. "Nothing," he replied quickly.

Jason gave him a look that said he knew he was lying. "Out with it. Is it me? I didn't take my meds this morning. I meant to but I forgot."

"No, it's not that," Nate hurried to say.

"Then what is it? Is something wrong, Nate? You've seemed a little, I don't know, off today."

Nate bowed his head, he couldn't believe he'd actually said that out loud, and now Jason thought something was wrong.

Sighing, he looked up at Jason and shrugged. "Nothing’s wrong," he said. "It's just that..." he supposed there was no harm in telling the truth. It was okay to think someone smelled good, wasn't it? "You... You smell really good." Nate gave a shy smile and turned his head back to the bags of chips on the shelf.

"Oh," Jason laughed softly. There was an awkward pause for a moment before Jason smiled to himself. "I'm glad you think so," he finally admitted quietly. Nate was slowly getting the impression that Jason didn't actually get a lot personal compliments.

"So," Jason said after a moment. "It's my smell that's driving you crazy?"

Nate smiled and nodded, "Yeah, sorry."

"No, no don't be sorry." Jason chuckled and looked at his feet. "I don't think anything about me has ever driven someone crazy before."

Nate didn't think a single sentence had ever hurt his heart so much before. The look on Jason's face and his posture made Nate want to hurt Ladon even more than Ladon's remark about Dean's career had.

"Hey," Nate whispered and put a gentle hand on Jason's cheek, making him lift his head. "It's not just the way you smell that's making me crazy."

Nate wasn't sure if it was the way Jason was looking at him or the softness of Jason's skin or both, but he found himself leaning close, unable to stop himself, until his lips were pressed softly against Jason's.

Nate felt Jason sigh softly and kiss back, his hands tentatively moving to Nate's hips. The kiss stayed soft, even as it deepened a bit; both of them exploring, just barely tasting.

Jason's cell phone ringing brought Nate to his senses and he pulled away. "Shit, I'm sorry," he sighed, running a hand through his hair and glancing around. "That's probably Damien, wounding what's taking so long. We should hurry up."

Jason blinked at him slowly and licked his lower lip. "Yeah," he agreed quietly as he pulled his phone from his pocket. "Hey, D," he answered it.

Nate tried to think of something to say the entire way back to the trailers. He started a dozen sentences in his head, but they all sounded stupid so they never made it out of his mouth.

He'd liked the kiss, he wanted to do it again. Jason tasted as good as Nate thought he would, and he wanted to reach over, pull Jason toward him and kiss him again, deeper. He knew he shouldn't though. If Jason still thought o himself as being with Ladon, then there was a possibility that he could think Nate had taken advantage o him during a vulnerable time. Nate didn't want that, he wanted Jason, but only when Jason wanted him back, and not as a rebound relationship that would end in a few days.

oOo

Once back at the trailers, Jason sat and watched as Damien directed Nate and Wes around to help him get everything ready for cooking. The steaks were just beginning to sizzle on the barbecue when Jason sighed and got up. "I forgot to take my meds this morning, I guess I should go do that and put my new stuff away."

"I'll call Laura about dying your hair later," Allie piped up.

"Thanks," Jason smiled at her before heading off to his trailer.

Damien waited until the door closed before turning to Nate. "What’id yeh do?"

"I... What?" Nate stammered, looking at Damien. "I didn't..." he sighed and rolled his eyes, "I... I kissed him."

"Okay, but what’id yeh do?" Damien asked again, stepping back from the grill and putting a hand on his hip.

Nate lowered his head for a moment before he looked back up at Damien. "I didn't do anything," he said. "I kissed him, and then I apologized."

"You..." Wes cocked his head and stared at Nate. "What'd you do that for?"

"I couldn't help it!" Nate defended himself. "He was right there, and he smelled so fucking good and I just... kissed him."

"We got that," Damien said. "But why the hell did yeh apologize?"

Nate glared at Damien. "You guys said he and Ladon do this all the time. What if he still thinks of himself as being with Ladon?"

"Nate," Allie said, stepping out of the trailer. "Did Jason kiss you back?"

Nate's mouth dropped open and he made an undistinguished noise and looked at Damien.

"Well?" Damien asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Uh," Nate grunted. "Yeah, he did."

"Then why are you worried about Ladon?" Allie asked.

"I..." Nate shrugged and bowed his head. "I don't want him to think I'm trying to take advantage of him or anything."

Wes sighed and moved up behind Nate, putting his hands on Nate's shoulders and leaning in close to his ear. "He kissed you back, Nate," he said softly, but loud enough for the others to hear.

Nate groaned and dropped his head back onto the back of his chair. "Fuck," he said, scrubbing his hand over his face. "I guess I messed that up."

"You need to fix it." Allie told him firmly.

"She's right, Nate," Damien said gently. "Yeh ‘member when we said no one can tell what's going on in Jason's mind?"

"Shit," Nate whispered and lifted his head, looking toward Jason's trailer.

"Yeah," Wes said softly.

Damien plastered a smile on his face when Jason’s trailer door opened. "’Ay, Jase," he said happily.

"Hey, D," Jason replied, less happily.

Nate sighed and stood up. "Jason," he said softly, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Jason glanced at Nate and shrugged. "Sure," he turned and headed back the way he came, and Nate hurried to follow.

Once they were in the shade of Jason's trailer, Jason turned to face him. "Look," he started, but Nate hurried to cut him off.

"About the kiss,” Nate said quickly. “It wasn't whatever it is you're thinking. I just didn't want you to think I was trying to take advantage."

Damien walked around the grill until he was facing the place Nate and Jason had gone. He could see them and hear them perfectly, but he positioned himself in a way that would make it look like he wasn’t listening. If anyone said anything, he'd just tell them that Jason's trailer was so close to his grill that he couldn't help but over hear. In truth, he really was listening, and silently pulling for Nate. Not only because Jason needed to be away from Ladon, but because Damien could tell by the way Nate and Jason worked that they were meant to be together.

Jason gave Nate a wide eyed look. "Take advantage of what? Oh. D told you that Ladon and I tend to do this breakup thing around performances," he looked down and picked at a bit of paint that was peeling on the side of his trailer. "Ladon has... issues. I just can't really deal with them sometimes."

Nate nodded, "I just didn't know if you still thought of yourself as being with Ladon since you guys seem to have a... I don't know, a routine," Nate said, looking at the paint Jason was picking at. "I don't want you to think I was kissing you just to piss Ladon off for what he said to me the other night."

Jason looked up at Nate, "Then why did you kiss me?" he sounded hopeful, even to Damien's ears.

Nate sighed and looked at Jason. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "Because, I'd been thinking about it since the first time I saw you. I hadn't said anything because you weren't available. Then today, we spent a lot of time together, I spent the entire day pushing away the urge to do anything to you, and then you were right there. We were so close, you smelled really good and I just... I lost control. I apologized because even though you kissed me back, I didn't know whether the kiss was really welcome or not." Nate sighed when he finished talking, but he didn't lower his gaze from Jason's face.

Jason smiled softly. "It wasn't unwelcome," he admitted.

Damien had to turn away at that, and he caught Wes watching him. The two shared a triumphant grin. Jason had admitted to his interest, and now it was just up to Nate to reel him in. With any luck, Ladon wouldn't be in the picture much longer.

Wes tipped his head toward Jason's trailer and Damien flipped the steaks, as he continued eavesdropping on his friends.

"Good," Nate said through a soft smile, “because I'd really like to do it again."

"So kiss him already!" Allie shouted from where she sat on the steps of Nate's trailer.

"Alison Sevoir!" Damien shouted, but it wasn't an angry sound. "Eavesdroppin' is rude."

"Pretending like you weren't listening in too?" Nate asked.

"Yup," Damien said and flipped another steak, no longer trying to hide the fact that he was listening.

"I've wanted it for a while now too," Jason said.

Nate smiled and put a hand on the back of Jason's neck, pulling him in until they were kissing again.

"Now that's a kiss," Damien said as he watched Jason wrap his arms around Nate’s shoulders.

Damien watched for a moment longer before turning away, just in time to see Ladon standing at the edge of Damien's trailer, staring over at Jason. "Damn," Damien muttered, waiting for Ladon to say something, but after a moment, he just turned and walked away.

It was for the best. Jason would be much happier without Ladon pulling him down all the time. Damien wasn't stupid enough to think there wouldn't be some sort of fallout from this though. He just hoped that Jason knowing Nate was interested would be enough for him to kick Ladon to the curb.

Damien focused his attention on his steaks for awhile, hoping Ladon wouldn't be making another appearance any time soon.

Nate and Jason finally made their way back over to the group, both looking a million times better than they had a few minutes ago.

"What happened?" Katie asked when she joined them several minutes later. "Why is everyone smiling like that? What'd I miss?"

Damien laughed as he brushed some of his special sauce on the steaks. "Nate an Jason got tagether," he said.

Katie's mouth dropped open for a second. "You mean, together together?" She asked as she rushed over to Jason.

"We didn't get together," Jason said. "We kissed."

"But that's not to say we won't get together," Nate added.

Jason smiled and looked at Nate. "Yeah," he said quietly. "No one's saying that."

"In all likelihood, they will. Don't you agree, D?" Wes asked.

"Oh absolutely," Damien nodded. "I'd say there's about a ninety-seven and a half percent chance."

"Wow, those are good odds," Katie said, smiling at Jason. After a moment she leaned forward and kissed Jason’s temple. "Congratulations darling, you deserve to be happy."

oOo

The party lasted well into the night. Damien ended up drunkenly grilling burgers because everyone got hungry again. At least half the snack food they bought that day had been eaten, and almost all of the alcohol they bought was gone.

Nate and Jason had kissed a few more times, groping each other's asses at least once. When things started to die down though, Katie and Teyla had made Nate and Jason go to their own trailers. They were going to anyway, but the girls wanted to make sure neither of them made any drunken decisions they may regret later.

Now that Jason was alone in his trailer, he was glad for the insistence. If Nate had invited him, he most likely would have gone, and since this... thing, between them was so new, he didn't know what would have happened in the morning.

He just sat on his couch, drinking bottle after bottle of water to bypass any sluggishness he might feel in the morning from having drank so much. He thought about how happy everyone was that he and Nate had kissed. He thought about how they all kept telling him he deserved to be happy. He'd thought he was happy, but now that he was really thinking about it, he realized he hadn't actually been happy for a while now.

Things had been great with Ladon at first, they talked all the time, they liked the same kinds of things and they got along well. Jason hadn't even noticed when Ladon had become the controlling, jealous man he was now. Thinking back, he saw that it had happened pretty early on in the relationship, and he had no idea why he stayed for as long as he did. He was disgusted with himself for it now, and he didn't know how Nate could want a man as pathetic as he was.

He was about to go to bed when there was a light knock on the door. Jason couldn't keep the smile off his face when he thought that it might be Nate out there knocking.

"Hey," he greeted as he opened the door. "Oh," he said when saw Ladon on the other side.

"Yeah," Ladon said and slid past Jason into the trailer, "Oh."

"What are you doing here, Ladon?"

"I came to see you. Isn't that what boyfriends do?"

"As I recall," Jason said, turning toward Ladon and crossing his arms over his chest. "We broke up."

"Yeah, but we do that all the time. It's the pre-performance nerves, but we always go back to normal once the show is over. Honestly I think we perform better when we're longing for one another."

"Honestly,” Jason said in a mocking tone, “I haven't thought about you all week, let alone longed for you."

"Oh I think you have. I've seen you looking at me."

"No more than I've looked at any one else."

"What has he done to you, Jason?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Nate, what's he done to you?"

Jason just stared at Ladon for a moment. "Nate hasn't done anything to anyone," he said.

"I'm worried about you. I held my breath every time he performed this week. I just know he's going to hurt one of you."

"I think you need to leave," Jason said and pointed toward the door.

"No, Jason. This is important, I can't let you get hurt."

"No one is hurting me."

"I saw you today!" Ladon shouted.

"Okay. And?"

"I saw the way he was forcing himself on you! How your troupe mates just stood there and watched!"

"Get out." Jason growled.

"No, I'm not going to let that homicidal outsider come in here and ruin us!"

"You ruined us, Ladon! You wouldn't let me do anything but work! I couldn't even hang out with my friends because of you!"

"That's not true; you wanted to stay in with me."

"No, Ladon. You made me feel worthless, like no one out there really wanted me around. You're poison, Ladon."

Ladon looked hurt as he stepped toward Jason, "You don't mean that baby," he said softly.

"Yes I do."

"No! You don't! We break up all the time and you always take me back because you need me, Jason."

"HEY!" A voice called through the door, "some of us would like to actually sleep tonight!"

Jason recognized Nate's voice and opened the door. "I meant it this time, Ladon. I'm going to sleep on Nate's couch. You need to have your shit gone by morning."

He didn't wait for a reply, just walked out of the trailer, closing the door behind him.

"You don't mind if I take up your couch tonight, do you?" he asked as he made his way to Nate's trailer with him.

"Not at all," Nate replied and opened the door for him.

"Thanks," Jason said. "Sorry we woke you up."

Nate chuckled, "I wasn't really asleep."

"Oh," Jason smiled and followed Nate into the trailer.

"Want some water or anything?" Nate asked as he pulled a pillow off his bed and grabbed a light blanket from the closet.

"No, thanks. I think I've about had my fill of liquids tonight," Jason chuckled softly. He was quiet for a moment as he took the bedding from Nate and laid it out on the couch. "I'm sorry you had to hear all that."

"Don't worry about it," Nate sat next to him, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "You were strong back there. I know it can be difficult, dealing with those situations."

Jason shrugged, staring down at the knitted blanket. It looked home made. "Hopefully it'll stick. Hopefully he really will get his crap out of my place tonight. And not steal all my meds. Again."

Nate sat up and looked at Jason. "Seriously?"

Jason was about to tell Nate that Ladon had stolen his medication at least once, and he'd had to go an entire month without it, which hadn't been fun. Before he could say anything though, Nate was off the couch and out the door.

"Oh shit," Jason mumbled when he heard the sound of muffled voices. He stood there for a moment, waiting for the sounds of a fight. When he heard nothing but the angry voices he'd heard since Nate left, he relaxed and headed toward the door.

"I'm serious, Ladon," Jason heard Nate's voice clearer when he opened the door. Nate was standing half way between his trailer and Jason's with a grocery bag in one hand. He was turned away from Jason with his finger pointed at Ladon. "Jason wants you out tonight. If you still have shit in that trailer tomorrow morning, you're gonna find it at the thrift store."

"You gonna steal my stuff?" Ladon asked.

"That's Jason's trailer, anything in there is his come sun up. If he doesn't want it, we'll get rid of it. On the other hand, if anything that doesn't belong to you is missing, we'll charge you with theft."

"Rodney won't believe you, He knows Jason and I go through these spells every few months."

"As I recall, we've got at the very least six witnesses that saw Jason break up with you. And at least that many that heard him tell you to leave him alone tonight."

"No one heard that but you, outsider. Who're they gonna believe?" Ladon asked.

"They'll believe me," Nate replied, “and I'm sure Damien and Wes heard Jason tell you to leave tonight."

"No they didn't."

"Sure they did."

"It was just you," Ladon said angrily.

"No, it wasn't."

"Liar!" Ladon shouted. "Damien and Wes weren't there!"

"Sure we were, mate," Damien said from the steps of his trailer. "Now if yeh don' mind, Wes was just about ta fuck my brains out since Allie’s over at Laura's. Stacks, fill us in tomorrow. Remind us where we were an what we ‘eard, yeh?"

"You got it, D. Have fun tonight."

"Oh I plan to."

"Nate," Jason said from the doorway. "Nate, come on. Don't waste your time on him tonight."

Nate turned his head and nodded at Jason. "See you around, Ladon," he said as he walked back to his trailer.

"Here," Nate said and handed Jason the grocery bag. "I don't know if that's all of them, but that's all I could find."

Jason opened the bag and stared down at what had formerly been the contents of his medicine cabinet. "You didn't have to do that," he started, but Nate grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"No I didn't, but I wanted to. You deserve so much better than him." He didn’t sound accusatory; Nate spoke as if he were simply stating a fact.

Jason had to lean up and kiss him. "You know, I think I'm starting to see that," he smiled softly at Nate before turning and setting the grocery bag next to the couch. "We should get some sleep. Take down is in the morning, then a lot of driving."

"Yeah," Nate said and turned toward the bed at the back of the trailer. His was one of the older trailers, no real rooms, just partitions that gave the idea of a room. The only real room was the bathroom.

Jason sat down, swung his legs up onto the couch and spread the blanket out over his body. With a long sigh, Jason relaxed back against the pillow. It smelled like Nate, and Jason smiled at the memory of Nate taking it off his own bed. Nate smelled good, and Jason would gladly spend the night surrounded with that scent.

Jason turned from one side to the other; he tried laying on his stomach and then his back. It wasn't that he couldn't get comfortable, Nate's couch was ridiculously comfortable; the problem was that he couldn't turn his mind off. He opened his eyes and they landed on one of Nate's posters. He had a lot of them, spanning his life. Jason smiled as he looked at the tiny boy in one of the posters, it was obviously Nate. He hadn’t really changed all that much over the years, he was taller and his features were that of a grown man, but the little boy in the poster couldn’t be any one else.

"Hey Nate," Jason asked quietly, “those your parents?"

"Yeah, and their troupe. They were amazing," Nate replied.

"You get to talk to them much these days?" Jason asked.

"Pretty often," Nate answered. "They’re retired and living in Florida so I don’t get to see them much, but we talk on the phone quite a bit. What about you?"

"Oh," Jason sighed. He'd known Nate would ask, so at least he was prepared. "We make sure to visit them every time we're in Oregon. There was a fire. Jess and I were sixteen." Jason was exhausted so that statement didn’t elicit the emotional reaction it usually did, his voice didn’t even crack a little, and he was glad of that.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Jase," the bed creaked a bit, like Nate was getting up.

"It's okay," Jason hurried to say. "It was a long time ago. It wasn't long after that that Rodney took the two of us on."

Jason hit the button that made his watch glow and winced. Grabbing his phone, he lit it up and used the light to see by as he pawed through the bag of medicines. "What are you looking for?" he heard Nate ask.

"My melatonin,” Jason answered. “I'll keep us up all night otherwise." Finding it, he shook out two tablets and swallowed them dry. "Goodnight, Nate."

"Night," Nate yawned.

Jason looked around for awhile longer, the light from the lamps outside was enough for him to be able to make out some of the posters hanging on Nate’s walls. He pretty much watched Nate grow up as he looked from one poster to another and then another. Nate looked to be about two or three in the oldest poster, held between a man and a woman who could only be Nate’s parents, Nate grew up to be the spitting image of his dad, but with his mom’s hair. In another picture Nate was probably ten, and then he was a pimply teenager in another. As Nate grew older, so did the other people in the posters, then there were different people all together, but it was obvious that Nate had been the center piece throughout the years.

Nate’s other circus had literally been his family, maybe not brothers and sisters, and maybe not blood, but people Nate loved and who had loved him. Jason had learned over his years with Rodney’s circus that it was a family, but this circus was a mesh of this and that and it had worked out wonderfully. He and Jess hadn’t been born to Rodney’s circus the way Nate had been born to Pegasus. Thinking about his own parents tonight had Jason realizing just how difficult this change must be for Nate. He was handling it very well though, even with all the issues that had sprung up with Ladon. He just hoped that Nate didn’t end up regretting his decision to join Rodney’s circus.

Nate was the last thing on Jason’s mind before he finally fell asleep.

oOo

Nate rolled over and grunted when the light shining through the window hit him in the face. He turned onto his back, opened his eyes and sat up. He looked toward the couch and saw that Jason was still asleep.

Nate smiled at the sight. Jason was facing the back of the couch with one arm and one leg thrown over the back. The blanket Nate had given him had fallen onto the floor and Jason's shirt had rucked up enough for Nate to see a good portion of his bare back. Jason had a nice back, Nate observed.

Slowly and very quietly, Nate got out of bed and headed into the shower. That bit of flesh he’d seen seemed to have burned itself into his mind. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Jason for awhile now, and he didn’t know if it was the kiss they’d shared yesterday or the sight he’d woken up to this morning, but it seemed to be worse.

He blew out a harsh breath as he stepped under the hot water. He had been strong so far, and now wasn’t the time to give in. Jason was just a thin wall away from him, he’d be able to hear any sound Nate made, and Nate knew he wouldn’t be able to be that quiet.

With a shudder, Nate turned the water from hot to cold, closed his eyes and thought about building card castles. It was an odd thing to think about, he knew, but it was the only boring thing that came to mind. After a few minutes he felt in control enough to actually wash.

Jason was awake when Nate came back out of the bathroom, his robe pulled tight over his naked body. "Morning,” Nate said, trying hard not to look away. He hadn’t jerked off in the shower, he had no reason to feel uncomfortable.

"Hey," Jason smiled sleepily. "I didn't want to leave while you were in the shower. It seemed rude, kind of… one night stand-ish." Jason chuckled and looked down at his blanket covered lap, but not before Nate saw the light blush fill his cheeks.

Nate shrugged, "Want me to go over there with you?" he asked.

"No it's okay. I'm sure Wes has already checked it out," Jason said softly.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Nate agreed.

"Thanks for letting me crash here."Jason said.

"Any time," Nate replied, giving Jason a nod before passing him on his way toward his dresser.

Once Nate had his back to Jason, he heard the rustle of the grocery bag followed shortly by the soft snick of his door being closed.

Nate smiled, remembering the way Jason had kept the blanket over his legs even though he’d sat up. The weird feeling he’d had since coming out of the shower dissipated a little as he started to get dressed.

Once Nate was fully clothed, he left the trailer only to be waved over to Damien’s trailer.

"Everything alright?" Damien asked, handing Nate a cup of coffee.

"I think so," Nate replied, gripping the mug between his palms and glancing toward Jason’s trailer.

Damien seemed to read his mind. "Wes checked it out this mornin’. Ladon threw some things around but everything seems ta be there," he put a plate of pancakes on the table and waved at Nate. "Better eat up. We'll be wanted fer take down soon."

Nate was nearly finished eating when Jason emerged from his trailer, freshly showered and wearing the jeans they'd bought at the mall the day before. Nate knew he was staring, but it wasn’t just Jason's choice of clothes that was different. Jason held himself better; he seemed more confident than he ever had in the time Nate had known him.

"There's our Jason again!" Damien laughed. "I knew he'd come back to us."

Jason laughed and accepted the plate and coffee cup D held out for him. "I'm just sorry it took so long to bring him back."

---

Take down was an all day affair, but Damien had set up a CD player to one of the big speakers. Fast, happy, bouncy music played as the whole circus troupe worked, and Nate felt more like he was at a party than doing work.

At last, the music cut off as that final speaker was packed away and Nate and Jason stood side by side, surveying the place where the big top used to be. They'd all done great work; the field was clean and empty again.

"Now what?" Nate asked.

Jason shrugged. "It's up to Rodney but I suspect we'll sleep here tonight and get an early start in the morning."

"There you two are," Allie rushed up to them, Laura in tow behind her. "I told Laura you guys bought hair dye."

Jason's eyes lit up. "Oh yeah!" He turned to grin at Nate. "Shall we do that now? We'll get to see Rodney's face at dinner if we do it now."

Nate laughed and nodded, he'd forgotten about the hair dye. "Yeah, let's go."

"I'll meet you guys at my place," Laura said and headed back toward her trailer.

Nate and Jason went back to their trailers and got the dye, then they walked together to Laura's trailer. Laura had a small table and a couple chairs covered with towels sitting outside. One of her windows was open and she had her radio playing through it. Nate recognized the sound of Maroon 5.

"I have to admit," Nate said, stopping just before they got to the trailer. "I'm a little scared."

Jason chuckled and patted Nate's shoulder. "It'll be okay, Laura's really good."

"Well, come on, boys," Laura called.

Nate followed Jason over to the chairs. "Who first?" he asked.

"Let's do you first," Laura grinned, grabbing Nate's arm and pulling him into the chair. "How light or dark do you want the green?"

Nate sighed and looked at the pictures on the box. He could go as light as a mint green, as bright as a lime green or as dark as a forest green. "Um," he said as he studied the box trying to make his decision. "Let's go with this one," he said pointing at the emerald shade of green. "It's not too dark, but it isn't ridiculously bright either," he told her.

"You got it," Laura said, taking the box and preparing the contents according to the instructions.

"I should talk my dads into doing this," Allie said as she bounced around to 'Moves Like Jagger'. "Wes would look good with electric blue hair, don't you think so Jason?"

Jason laughed. "I think he could really pull off that color. Do you really think you need to talk them into it though? I imagine they'd do it anyway."

"Maybe. I want to dye my hair purple," Allie replied.

"How you doing, Nate?" Jason asked as Laura rubbed the dye in.

"I think you'd look good with purple hair, Al," Laura told her. "You should talk to your dads about that too."

Nate chuckled, "Right now I'm doing great," he answered Jason's question. "My head is very sensitive and this feels phenomenal."

"Uh oh," Allie laughed. "Maybe you should have done it then, Jason."

Before Jason could reply, the song changed and Allie squealed. "Oh my gosh! I love this song! Adam Levene is so talented. I'd do him."

"Alison!" The three adults said in unison.

"What?" the girl asked. "My dads say that all the time."

"Well you're eight," Jason laughed. "You're far too young to say that."

"Okay," Laura pulled off her gloves and patted Nate's shoulder. "Scoot over, I'll get Jason started while that sets. We have to bleach his hair first."

Nate moved to the second chair and watched Jason sit down. Laura quickly set about separating Jason's hair into sections, but then she only applied the bleach to some of it.

"What?" Jason asked, and Nate realized he was looking at them strangely, trying to figure out what Laura was doing.

Nate shrugged, "It's just weird. I'd watched my mom color her hair plenty of times growing up, but she never bleached it. It looks really complicated." His eyes flicked to Laura as movement caught his attention. Her eyes were big and she was making a shushing face. He smiled, confused, and nodded.

"What?" Jason asked. "What's she doing?"

"I'm just bleaching your hair, Jason," Laura said and smacked his shoulder with the back of her hand. "Now be still."

Laura's watch went off just as she finished applying the bleach. Replacing her gloves, she came over and checked through Nate's hair. "Looks good, now let Allie help you rinse it out," she pointed to the hose that was snaking its way out the trailer door.

"Lay on the table there," Allie directed as she fetched the hose. Laura handed her some shampoo as Nate climbed onto the table and let his head rest over the side.

"Ugh, that's cold!" he laughed as Allie turned the hose on and rinsed his hair.

"You big baby," Allie giggled as she kept working.

"I'm not a baby," Nate fake whined.

Allie laughed and let the water go a little closer to Nate's forehead than was absolutely necessary.

"Ah," Nate complained and squeezed his eyes closed. "Are you a certified hair rinser miss?" he asked.

"Keep it up and I'll certify your face with my hose, buddy."

Nate laughed but didn't say anything else, and after a moment, Allie pushed the excess water out of his hair and applied the shampoo.

"Are you purring, Nate?" Jason asked with a little laugh.

"No!" Nate lied.

"Uh huh," Laura said. "You're just like a cat I used to have. A tiny rub to her head and her motor started running."

"Oh my god, you are totally purring," Jason said gleefully.

"Well, I did tell you that my head is very sensitive. In the right setting, it gets my motor started too, if you catch my drift."

"You're talking about sex," Allie stated without question.

Nate felt his face get red and Jason laughed. "That's our Allie; ever perceptive."

"Oh please, my dads gave me The Talk when I was seven," Nate could practically hear Allie roll her eyes. "They said The Talk has a Part Two, and I'll get that when I'm thirteen, but they're my dads; you think I haven't heard it all before? I know what they're doing when I spend the night with Laura. Just like I know what Laura's doing whenever Alison comes over."

"Ooo-Kay now," Laura laughed and shook her head. "Allie, finish up and go choose another CD."

Allie sighed and started rinsing Nate's hair again. "Wow, Nate, this is going to look awesome when it's dry."

"Get my hair dryer while you’re inside, kay babe?" Laura said as Allie wrapped a towel around Nate's wet hair. "I don't want to wait for natural drying."

"Okay." Allie told Nate he could get up before she headed inside. A moment later, music Nate recognized from the tent take down came on. He didn't know the name of the group, but he liked the beat and tempo of their music.

"Who is this?" Nate asked, motioning toward the window.

"Ah," Jason said. "Cat Empire, Damien's most favorite group in the world. Rodney hates their stuff, but he admits that the tear down goes much faster when D plays it."

"Yeah, that went much faster than I expected," Nate said.

"Laura," Allie called through the trailer. "I can't find the hair dryer!"

"It's under the bathroom sink," Laura called back.

"I looked there!"

"Check my bedroom then."

"I did."

"Kitchen?"

"Nope, not there either."

Laura sighed and took off her gloves. "You're almost done, Jase, just have to let it sit now," she said as she went inside. "Be right back."

"Well this has been an enlightening hour," Jason joked once Laura was inside. "I'm gonna have to try this playing with your hair thing."

Nate laughed and rubbed the towel over his hair again. "You can do that anytime. It feels like it's already dried a bit. How's it look?"

Jason looked him over critically. "It looks great. Very vibrant. Should do it again for St. Paddy's day. For now I want to see you in a black shirt... or maybe shirtless, with that hair."

Nate laughed and pulled his shirt over his head. "It is actually pretty hot out here." He smiled and moved back to sit in the chair beside Jason's.

"Okay, time to rinse Jason's hair, dry it and dye it," Laura's cheery voice proceeded her out of the trailer.

oOo

Once the dye had set, Jason laid across the table again and let Allie wash his hair for the second time. "How's it look?" he asked her once she'd rinsed the shampoo out.

"It looks awesome," she giggled, which only made Jason more nervous. He'd seen the looks his three companions were giving each other, and he was sure there had been some silent communication going on between Nate and Laura earlier.

Laura came over with the blow dryer. "Allie, want to go grab the hand mirror for me? Let's let them see."

It didn't take more than a couple minutes to dry Jason's hair, and then Allie handed him the mirror with a huge grin. Jason's eyes widened as he looked at himself. "Tiger stripes?"

"Isn't it cool!" Allie crowed. "I told you Laura's a genius."

Jason had to admit, his hair did look cool. Laura had dyed most of it orange, leaving uneven lines his natural dark color. It really did look like a tiger's fur. "It does look awesome," Jason grinned.

"Lemme see mine," Nate asked and took the mirror when Jason handed it to him. He looked, turning his head from side to side. The color was great, uniform all around his head and a very nice bright emerald green. Jason wouldn't say anything, but he was slightly disappointed that they hadn’t given Nate any cool designs.

"Laura," Nate said, "I'm impressed. You did an amazing job."

"Well thank you," she replied proudly. "Let anyone who asks know that it's my handiwork."

"You know we will," Jason said and grabbed Nate's wrist. "Come on, Nate, let's go get you that black shirt."

Nate chuckled and followed Jason away from Laura and Allie.

"Holy shit!" Damien said when Nate and Jason got closer to them. "Look at you guys!"

"Thanks," Jason said as he dragged Nate toward his trailer. "Laura did it."

Nate laughed as he followed Jason into the trailer.

Once inside, Jason dug through the Hot Topic bag they'd gotten yesterday and emerged with the black Queen shirt. He turned back to Nate with the shirt in hand and paused, looking him over. "You know what, I think I like it better with no shirt," Jason laughed. "I'll wear the shirt."

Nate shrugged agreeably. "You don't have to wear a shirt either you know."

Jason glanced down at the tee. "Yeah I do," he said quietly. "Anyway, that wasn't my whole reason for bringing you in here." He tossed the shirt on the table and moved closer to Nate, sliding his arms around Nate's neck. Jason's fingers slid into Nate's hair and Nate felt Jason's blunt nails on his scalp. "I've wanted to kiss you since we started the damn hair dying thing."

Nate moaned and rolled his eyes back as Jason continued rubbing his head. "Mmm, that's good, because it was pretty hard to restrain myself when Laura went inside."

He opened his eyes and looked at Jason for a moment before leaning in and claiming his mouth. He put his hands on Jason's hips, running his hands up under his shirt.

After a moment of soft, closed mouth kissing, Nate opened his mouth and ran the tip of his tongue over Jason's lips, seeking permission to deepen the kiss.

Jason whimpered softly and opened his mouth.

Nate dove deep inside, relishing the taste of Jason's mouth. He poured every bit of his soul into the kiss, trying to silently tell Jason just how much he appreciated him. Nate moved closer to Jason, his bare chest rubbing the fabric of Jason's shirt. Nate didn't want to rush anything, but he really wanted Jason out of the shirt, wanted to feel his chest, bare against Nate’s own.

Jason turned away from the kiss, breaking it with a loud smacking sound as Nate pushed his hands further up Jason's shirt.

"No," Jason whispered and pushed Nate's hands down.

Nate looked at Jason, his confusion no doubt showing on his face. "Oh, okay," he said, taking a step back.

"No," Jason said hurriedly and reached out, putting his hands on Nate's hips. "Not no to the kissing, that was great. I just... don't want to take my shirt off."

"Oh," Nate said again, stepping back in close to Jason. "Can I ask why?"

"Remember last night when you asked about my parents and I said there was a fire?"

"You were there too?" Nate asked, "you were burned?"

Jason sighed and nodded. "Not too bad, but it left scars on my left shoulder, front and back and about halfway down the left side of my chest."

"I'm sorry," Nate told him gently. "Can I see?"

Jason closed his eyes and turned away from Nate as if he were ashamed. "No," he said brokenly. "I'd rather you didn't, they aren't pretty and... I don't like them."

"Okay," Nate whispered and gently turned Jason back to face him. "But if this thing between us is going to work, and I really, really want it to, you can't hide yourself from me forever. Just think about it, okay?" He kissed Jason again, starting out gently like before, but quickly deepening it again. He pulled Jason close, keeping his hands over Jason's clothes, moaning into Jason's mouth as he reached down, cupping Jason's ass and giving it a gentle squeeze. Jason groaned and used his grip on Nate's hips to pull them closer together, though he didn't try for any bump and grind.

"Oi, you lot comin’ ta dinner?" Damien called.

---

Jason lay awake in his bed for a long time that evening, even though he'd taken his sleepy pills. He knew he needed sleep so he could drive the next morning, but his brain wouldn't shut up.

He didn't want to show his scars to Nate. They weren't nice scars by any sense, and even though he'd miraculously not lost sensitivity in his left nipple, no guy he'd been with had ever shown any willingness to play with it. Even Ladon, who had actually said the least about the scarring, had only ever played with the right side of Jason's chest.

Jason had looked into any and all possibilities to try and fix the scarring but most were too expensive, or would require too much time in one place, or would prevent him from performing for too long. He'd given up on that idea years ago. Now, Jason just dealt with it. It did make it difficult though; and this new thing with Nate was bothering him more than usual. Jason didn't want to see the quickly masked horror, pity, and disgust he knew he would see. At the same time, Jason felt ashamed that he was so self conscious about it in the first place.

"This is stupid and you're being an idiot," Jason sighed to himself. Kicking back his blanket, he stuck his feet in a pair of flip flops and quietly left his trailer. The grass crackled under his feet as he made his way across the circle to Jess' trailer and knocked quietly.

"I hope, whoever you are, that you don't cause us all to die in a fiery sleep deprived crash tomorrow!"

Jason smiled as he listened to his sister rant all the way to the door.

"Jason," she said surprised. "What happened?" She stepped aside, letting Jason into the trailer.

"Nothing's happened," Jason sighed as he came in and sat on the couch. "My brain won't shut up."

Jess sighed and sat on the couch. "This isn't the best night for that, Jase," she said softly. "Have you taken your sleeping pills?"

"I know. I took them like an hour and a half ago. I just," Jason groaned. "I'm sorry; I should have let you sleep. It's stupid, but I guess I need to hear that from someone else. I keep thinking about the scars."

Jess nodded and sat down on the couch next to Jason. She put an arm around his shoulder and guided him into a lying position with his head on her lap. She began rubbing his hair, the way their mother used to do when either of them were having any kind of issues.

"This is about Nate, isn't it?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," Jason sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm worried about how he's going to react. You know they're not nice looking."

"Oh Jason," Jess sighed. "You're never going to know until you show him. Trust me, Nate's different. I don't know how I know that, but I do. Your scars are part of you, and Nate wants you. Shit, he turned down sex with Cameron Mitchell because of you. He made me swear not to tell you that that was his reason for not wanting to sleep with Cam, so you can't let him know I told you."

"He did?" Jason opened his eyes and looked up at his sister's upside-down face. "Why? I mean, he didn't even know that Ladon and I were actually going to break up then."

She shrugged, "I don't know," She told him. "I mentioned that you and Ladon weren't together at the moment and that he should make his move. He said he didn't want to risk that he'd be a rebound fuck and have his heart broken if you got back with Ladon. I asked that since he wasn't going to make his move on you, why not sleep with Cam and at least get some sort of pleasure while he was waiting for you to open your eyes. Guess what he said. Go on, guess."

She paused for only a few seconds, and continued speaking before Jason could. "He said he doesn't like meaningless sex. I get the impression that you've gotten hold of an old fashioned kind of guy. There aren't many of those left in the world, you need to hang on to him for as long as you can, Jason. He's one of the good ones."

Jason's eyes widened as Jess spoke. "Well that's good to know I guess," he closed his eyes and relaxed a little under Jess' hands. "I'm sorry I woke you up with this."

"It's okay," Jess said. "We're siblings, and we're all the family either of us has, we have to be here for each other."

Jason nodded, he could feel himself already drifting toward sleep, and he wondered if he should go home or just stay on Jess' couch. He thought about things as he drifted, the stuff Jess said about Nate made a lot of the things Nate had done make more sense. Like apologizing after kissing Jason, and walking away when Ladon mentioned Dean Bates. Nate would have been well within his rights to have beaten the hell out of Ladon, but he hadn't, and that was probably because he didn't want Jason to be upset with him. He sighed and shifted his position as Jess continued rubbing his hair.

"I just have one question, Jason," Jess said after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"What the hell happened to your hair?"

Jason snorted in laughter. "Nate and I got hair dye at Hot Topic and Laura dyed our hair. His is this bright emerald green. It looks really cool. I didn't know Laura was giving me tiger stripes though."

"Well, it doesn't look all that bad," she said. "So if you're done with your freak out, I'm going to bed, you can stay here if you want."

"Thanks," he replied and let her get up. He still wasn't sure if he was ready to show Nate his scars, but he felt better about the thing they had started.

Jason woke up when Jess came out of the bathroom the next morning. "Time already?" he moaned, burrowing his head in the couch pillow.

"Yeah," Jess sighed. "Come on, let's go get snack foods before everyone else gets their butts in gear."

Jason sat up, pulled the shirt he’d abandoned in the night on, slipped his feet in his flip flops and followed his sister out. "I have to go get pants," he reminded her, gesturing at his Killer Rabbit sleep pants. "And my wallet."

"I'll drive you around to there," Jess told him as she got in her truck.

Jason was kind of glad no one on his side of the circle was awake yet. Once he'd changed pants and took his meds, he and Jess headed out to the grocery store.

At the store, Jason grabbed bags of veggie straws, some fresh apples and bananas, popcorn, and a few bags of jalapeño chips for Nate and him to share.

"You okay?" Jess asked as she loaded the cart with soda and juice.

"Yeah," Jason replied pulling a pack of bottled water off the shelf. "Just thinking about... everything."

"Everything about Nate?"

Jason nodded, "This is the first time I feel like a relationship could last forever, and the first time I really want it to. I... Jess," he looked at his sister, giving her a moment to grasp the enormity of what he was saying. "I think I could spend the rest of my life with him."

Jess' eyes widened. "Okay, Jason, listen to me carefully. I encourage you to get with Nate. I do. He seems like a really amazing guy and from what I know of him I can totally see the two of you living happily ever after. But, go slow, okay? Really get to know him. He hasn't been here long yet, and yes, he seems genuine and I'd nearly bet money that he is, but..."

Jason closed his eyes and groaned. "Yes, I know, I get it. You're right."

"Well don't get upset," Jess said, taking a step closer to her brother. "Listen, Jase," she put her hands on his shoulders. "You deserve to be happy, and for all we know, Nate could be the absolute perfect guy for you, and I hope he is. Like I said, I'd be willing to put money on the fact that he's the genuine article, but I know how you are. You tend to jump in with both feet, and that's not always good. All I'm saying is that you should take it slow, get to know him and let him get to know you. It can't hurt, and if he's the guy I think he is, he'll be perfectly willing to wait for everything that comes with a relationship. Okay?"

Jason took a deep breath and nodded. He knew Jess was right, and this was the kind of thing that made him truly value her. She could make him see reason faster than anyone else could. "Okay."

Jess leaned over kissed his cheek. "Alright then. Anything else we need?"

"Cherries," Jason grinned. "I watched Nate put away that entire bag the other night."

"The man likes cherries then, that'll be good to know at Christmas."

Jason laughed as they pushed the cart back to the produce section again.

"There ya are!"

Jason turned and smiled at Damien, Wes and Nate as they walked over to them.

"Wes wanted to break into yer trailer to see if yeh were still breathin', but Nate here wouldn't let us," Damien said as he tossed a bag of Oreo cookies into their cart.

"Thanks, Nate," Jason said with a smile.

"No problem," Nate replied and took a small step closer to Jason. "Everything okay?"

Jason nodded and slipped an arm around Nate's waist. "Yeah, I think everything is good, actually," he looked at Nate's face and leaned up to kiss him softly.

"So, you guys all set?" Jason heard his sister ask the others.

"Just pickin up a couple last minute essentials," Damien chuckled.

"We don't want to be caught with nothing to barbecue when we stop tonight," Wes said.

"We just recharged the battery for the portable freezer," Damien added. "We got steaks, burgers, some of those veggie-things fer Adrien and I still have some buffalo." He looked around, "Although I was plannin’ on savin’ that fer a small private barbecue I plan on having ta celebrate the fact that Nate and Jason stopped pussy footing around the bush an actually started kissing in public."

Jason laughed and glared at Damien.

"I need to get some more cherries," Nate said, completely ignoring Damien.

"Oh, I got you some already," Jason said with a smile.

"Oh, thanks," Nate said. "And I got you this." He dug around in his cart for a second then pulled out a bag of trail mix that was heavy on the raisins, just like Jason liked it.

"Right. Time to run away now, I'm feeling some mushiness here," Damien laughed, pulling Wes away.

Jason didn't even bother to look at them. Nate hadn't heard about Jason's fondness for raisins from him, so it had to have been D who told him.

Some stress in Jason lifted once the circus was actually on the road; he didn't like staying in one place for too long. Now it was just him and his music, following behind Jess in their convoy.

Every now and again, he found himself thinking about Nate, somewhere behind him in the row of trailers. He pushed his hand into his bag of trail mix and chuckled as a group of kids in the back of an SUV waved frantically. Smiling, Jason waved back before focusing his attention back on the road.

oOo

"Hey, I like that song!" Damien complained when Wes pressed the forward button on the CD player.

"I know," Wes replied, sitting back taking a long hit from his cigarette. "But you listen to it so much that it's beginning to make me feel physically ill."

Wes liked the Cat Empire as much as Damien did, but if he had to listen to Rhyme and Reason again today, he wouldn't be responsible for his actions.

"Look, we'll pick a song we both like," Damien agreed. "Oh, looks like Jess had a blow out. Let's pull over an give Jason a hand with that tire."

Wes pulled the trailer to the side of the road in front of Jess, trailer. "Everything okay?" he asked as he hopped out of the truck.

Nate pulled up behind Jason's trailer just as Wes and Damien got over to Jason.

Jason was shirtless and sweaty as he wrestled the replacement trailer tire. "Yeah, things are okay," he grunted as the large tire finally slipped into place. Jason sat back on his heels and grabbed lug nuts off the ground.

Jason still hadn't noticed that Nate had pulled up by the time he'd finished. With a groan, he stood up straight and bent backwards, loosening his back muscles. "Damn those are heavy."

Wes had seen Nate walk around his trailer and head toward the others. He had a good idea as to why Nate stopped walking when Jason stood up. Jason was very self conscious about his scars, and Wes was pretty sure he hadn't shown them to Nate yet.

He watched as Nate walked back around to the outside of the trailer.

"You guys alright?" he shouted a moment later, most likely giving Jason the choice to cover up or not.

"Shit," Jason moaned and quickly reached for his shirt.

"We're good," Damien called and headed around the trailer in Nate's direction. Wes followed.

Without talking about it, they both blocked Nate's path. He looked up at them, surprise and worry on his face. "Hi guys. What's going on?"

Damien cocked his head a little to the side. "Is this gonna be a problem, Nathan?"

"Nathan? What are you talking about, Damien? Is what going to be a problem?" Nate looked back and forth between them for a second, his worry showing on his face.

"You came around and saw his scars, yes?" Wes asked patiently, more amused at Damien than anything else. His partner was just as protective of their friends as he was.

"Is it gonna be a problem?" Damien asked again.

"His scars?" Nate asked. "How shallow do you guys think I am?" Nate asked, sounding offended. Wes didn't blame him though, Nate was a good guy, and if someone had asked Wes that kind of question about Damien, he'd be pretty damn offended too.

"He told me about the scars," Nate continued. "He didn't want me to see them yet. Why would his scars be any kind of problem for me?" It sounded like his offense was escalating into anger.

"We're just making sure he isn't going to get hurt," Wes told him truthfully.

Nate's face went blank. "How many god damned people have mistreated him?" Nate asked, his anger focusing in a better direction. "Seriously! I want names and addresses!"

"Even one’s too many," Damien sighed. "Anyway, I'm glad ta see where yeh stand. Not that I really thought this would go any other way, but I can't be too careful."

"What are you guys doing back here?" Jason asked, glancing around the back of the trailer.

"All situated?" Wes asked.

Jason nodded. "We'll have to call Rodney and do a stopover in the next town with a decent tire store, but this'll get us there."

oOo

Once they were back on the road, Nate couldn't get Jason's scars out of his mind. He wasn't disgusted by them, they weren't as bad as he thought they might be, and he was only shocked to see them because he hadn't expected to see them.

It hadn't even been the scars that had made Nate's breath catch. Jason had been stretching, the sun glistening off of his sweaty chest. Nate hadn't been able to pull his eyes away until Jason started to straighten up.

He'd gone around to the other side o the trailer because Jason hadn't wanted him to see his scars. Now that it was over, Nate regretted that decision; he should have just stayed where he was and let Jason know that he saw. It felt like he was hiding a nasty little secret, and Nate didn't like that feeling. Now, however, he not only had to tell Jason that he'd seen the scars, but also that he hid the fact that he'd seen the scars.

He was torn, his mind warring with itself. On one hand, he could tell Jason that he saw and deal with how ever Jason felt about that. On the other hand, Nate could wait and let Jason show him when he was ready, but then he'd have to deal with this stupid churning in his stomach for who knew how long.

The sun had barely even started its descent when Nate followed the rest of the convoy off the highway. He parked his trailer behind Wes and Damien's and started setting up for the night.

"Hey," Jason said from behind Nate.

"Yeah?" Nate asked, not looking up from his task of stabilizing the trailer.

"I'm going to go with Jess to the tire shop. We'll be back in a little while."

"Okay," Nate replied, finally turning to face Jason. "I'll see you in a little bit."

"Yeah, Damien is getting ready to set up for a barbecue. See if you can stall him until I get back."

Nate chuckled and nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

Jason thanked him, leaned in for a kiss and left.

Nate's stomach tightened as he kissed Jason back. It didn't loosen when the kiss broke.

"Damn it," Nate groaned as he flopped down in one of Damien's lawn chairs. He felt eyes on him and when he looked up, he saw Damien staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What's wrong with yeh?" Damien asked, coming over to sit next to him.

"I don't know whether to tell him I saw the scars or not," Nate groaned. "He didn't want to show me yet but he deserves to know I saw them."

"Sounds like yeh got it figured out to me, mate," Damien shrugged. "So what's wrong with yeh?"

"Nothing, I guess," Nate sighed. "I just don't want him to close off or jump to conclusions."

"Yeh keep acting weird e's gonna do that anyway," Damien answered.

Nate sighed, "You're right. I'll tell him when he gets back."

"Good call," Damien replied and moved to get up.

"Oh hey," Nate said, stopping Damien from leaving. "He wants you to wait to start cooking until he gets back."

Damien nodded, "I wasn't gonna cook yet anyway. The plume of fire is much more impressive when it's a little darker."

Nate chuckled and leaned back.

---

Nate had gone around the circle of trailers passing time by helping everyone get set up for the night.

Finally, he saw Jess' trailer heading into the lot. He waited until Jason got closer to the group before getting up.

"Hey," he said, jogging over to Jason. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," Jason answered. "What's up?"

Nate looked around. They weren’t too close to the rest of the group, but they were close enough and Nate didn’t want to have this conversation in front of anyone. He had no idea how Jason was going to react, and he’d rather be alone with Jason so he could explain himself quickly. "Can we maybe talk privately?" he asked.

Jason looked skeptical for a moment, but he nodded and led Nate over to his trailer and inside. "Everything okay?" he asked.

Nate sighed and looked at Jason, he had no idea how to start. "I know you didn't want me to, and I didn't do it on purpose,” Nate began, deciding to start out by explaining himself, just so it’d be out there. “I've been thinking about it all day, and I feel like I have to tell you. It's the right thing to do, after all." This was ridiculous, Nate thought, it shouldn't be this hard. "I didn't set out to do something you'd asked me not to do, or rather, to wait for but-”

“What are you going on about, Nate?”

Jason’s voice seemed to kick Nate’s brain into gear. With a sigh and a quick glance to the ground, Nate took a deep breath and looked directly at Jason. "I saw your scars today," he blurted.

Jason's face went blank for a moment. "You came around the trailers before I knew you were there."

That didn’t seem to be a question, but Nate felt compelled to answer anyway. "Yeah, I wasn't expecting you to be shirtless."

Jason stared at him for a moment before clearing his throat. "Is this going to be a problem?" he asked quietly. Nate could already see him drawing back, walling himself in.

Nate frowned and furrowed his brow. "Do I come off as that shallow?" it wasn't an angry question.

“What?” Jason asked sounding shocked and maybe confused.

"Damien asked me the same thing," Nate explained.

“Oh,” Jason said. “Yeah, he’s pretty protective.”

“I’ve noticed.” He stepped forward and put his hands on Jason's shoulders. "And to answer your question, no," he said firmly, leaving no room for argument. "This is absolutely not going to be a problem. They're just scars, Jason. They're part of you, part of your skin, part of your body. How could they possibly be a problem when I want you as badly as I do?" He sighed and shook his head. "I'll ask you the same thing I asked Damien, how many fucking people have mistreated you?”

Nate gave Jason a moment to think about it. He wasn’t expecting an answer so he wasn’t surprised when all Jason did was sigh and look away. It was answer enough though, and Nate felt his gut twist with anger at all those people.

“You deserve so much better than what you've had,” Nate said softly. “I want to be with you, Jason. I want to make you happy. I don't care that you have a few scars, they don't matter. It's what’s on the inside that matters to me."

Jason sighed and finally looked back at Nate, the small smile on Jason’s lips made Nate’s heart flutter a little. After another moment, Jason stepped forward, slipped his arms around Nate's waist, resting his head on Nate's shoulder and nuzzling his neck. "Just hearing you say that means a lot, Nate," he whispered, sending a shiver down Nate’s spine as his warm breath puffed out against Nate’s neck.

Nate wrapped Jason up and held him close. "Anybody who would say differently is an asshole."

Jason laughed and kissed Nate's jaw. "You've just insulted probably about half the people I've known since the fire."

Nate sighed and closed his eyes, pulling Jason just a bit closer. He didn’t know how many people that was exactly, but like Damien had said earlier, even one was too many. He didn't understand how anyone could let such a minor thing like a little scarring distract them from the man Jason really was.

"Well you have nothing to worry about with me," he said softly and kissed Jason's jaw. "It doesn't bother me at all."

Jason moved his head enough to kiss Nate deeply. "Okay, good. Just, don't be offended if it takes me a while to really remember it."

"Oi! Yeh two wanna be out here when I fire up th' grill?" Damien called from outside.

"Yeah, we're coming," Nate hollered back to D, then looked at Jason. "Take all the time you need, I have nowhere else to be." with a soft smile, Nate kissed Jason again and they headed out to join the group.

Damien waggled his eyebrows at them. "Settled?" he asked, squirting more lighter fluid on the coals.

"Yeah," Jason answered a small smile on his face. "We're good."

"Right then! Everyone back up to the minimum safe distance," Damien laughed, grabbing a matchbox off the table.

Nate backed up a few steps before looking around and backing up further to stand with the others.

"Isn't this a little excess- Whoa!" Nate flinched as the coals ignited, the plume of fire nearly making a small mushroom cloud.

"What were you saying?" Jason asked with a grin.

"Never mind," Nate chuckled.

---

The morning dawned bright and breezy and Nate had sat on the steps of his trailer and watched the sky change color as the sun rose. He wasn’t usually one for early morning solitude, he’d rather sleep in as long as he could, but his mind had woken him up at three am and refused to let him get back to sleep.

They’d been on the road for a few days now. Damien had a barbecue every time they stopped for the night and Nate and Jason usually ended up making out between Damien’s trailer and Jason’s. They hadn’t had any more trouble out of Ladon. He’d been around; Nate had seen him glaring at Jason a few times. He decided to keep an eye on the man but not to confront him.

His days were filled with softly playing music in the cab of his truck, occasional phone conversations with his parents, and thoughts of Jason. This thing between them, relationship, it was an actual relationship now, was getting more and more involved. Jason still hadn’t shown Nate his scars, but it had only been a couple of days, and Nate wasn’t rushing him. They made out; they sometimes rubbed against one another until both of them were a breath away from coming, and from time to time, they’d doze together between getting off the road and dinner. Nate was extremely comfortable with Jason.

Nate was deep in thought when his phone rang, startling him. He knew it wasn’t his parents, they had a specific ring tone, and whoever was calling him now didn’t have a set tone. Nate pressed the button on his Bluetooth, “Stackhouse,” he said.

“Hey there,” Jason’s cheery voice greeted him.

“Hey,” Nate replied, smiling because he’d just been thinking about Jason. “I was just thinking of you,” Nate voiced the thought.

“Yeah?” Jason sounded pleased.

“To be honest, I’m usually thinking about you.”

Jason laughed lightly before speaking again. “So, we’re about three hours out from where we’ll be stopping before set up,” Jason told him. “I already cleared it with Rodney, so if you’re up to it you and I can veer off up here and spend a little time alone. We can catch up with the others a little later.”

Nate smiled, “Are you asking me out on a date, Jason?”

“Well, I suppose I am, but don’t you think it’s about time? We haven’t had any time away from the others since we got together.”

“We haven’t had any time alone since we went to the mall and the grocery store that day,” Nate replied. “And yes, I do think it’s about time we had an actual first date.”

“Excellent,” Nate could practically hear Jason’s smile. “Just follow me; I’m going to get off on an exit a little way up the highway. I’m familiar with that town and I think I could show you a good time.”

“Lead on,” Nate said through a smile.

---

Nate looked around as they turned off the highway. The town was laid out not far away from the highway, and it didn’t take long before Jason was pulling off the road and into the parking lot of a grocery store. “You don’t think they’ll mind if we park here, do you?” Nate asked as he hopped out of his truck and stretched his legs.

Jason grinned at him and shook his head. “No, it’s cool. Jess and I used to stop by here every time Hammond’s Circus passed through. I learned to drive here, actually.”

“Really?” Nate laughed and looked around again. The grocery was a local one, no big recognizable corporation signs. The pavement was old and cracked in a few places, and the paint on the building was old and faded, but the place looked fairly well cared for. The noise of the highway was hushed and Nate could hear bugs calling to each other from the scraggly grass that bordered the parking lot.

“We performed here a few times too,” Jason shrugged. “Come on, help me get my trailer off so we can take one truck.”

“Where are we going?” Nate asked as he pushed the wheel blocks into place.

“Well, as corny as it sounds, I was thinking dinner,” Jason replied as he released the stabilization arms. “After that, well, I know we already kinda live that life but there’s a carnival that’s usually going on this time of year, if you’re interested. I’d have to check and see if it’s happening right now, but if it is,” Jason trailed off as he unhitched his trailer.

“You know,” Nate smiled and wrapped his arms around Jason’s waist, “I do have a fondness for the Tilt-A-Whirl,” he kissed the back of Jason’s neck fondly.

Jason turned in his arms and grinned. “Let’s go then.”

They ended up at an outdoor sandwich shop. The smell of fresh bread, fresh greens, and cool meats made Nate’s mouth start watering as they stood and waited for their turn. “I’m not surprised this place is still around,” Jason grinned, taking in Nate’s reaction. “They make the most amazing sandwiches.”

Nate watched as the people who had been called up to collect their order walked past. The sandwiches were big; each one made from an individual baked bun. Meats and greens and condiments in many different colors peeked out from between the sliced bun. Groaning happily, Nate turned his attention to the menu. “Wow, that’s a lot of choices,” he chuckled. The bread alone came in white, wheat, oat and honey, sourdough, rye, whole grain, and the Baker’s Special of the Day. Every vegetable Nate could think of was offered, along with a wide variety of meats, cheeses, and condiments.

“What are you getting?” Nate asked, feeling a little overwhelmed.

Jason grinned. “I’m getting a few things. Jess would kill me if I didn’t get her a turkey on rye. They also sell take-and-bake calzones and bread. I like to stock up. Have you made up your mind yet?”

There was only one customer in front of them in line now. Nate looked at the menu again. “I don’t know what to choose,” he admitted.

Jason laughed. “So get one for now and a couple for later.”

“Good plan,” Nate chuckled.

“Turkey on rye with the fixings,” Jason started when it was their turn. “Also two turkey pesto, one on oat and one on the special, six calzones and two dozen bags of dough, please.”

The lady behind the counter squinted at Jason for a moment before laughing. “Jason, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Jason smiled, “I’m sorry I don’t remember you.”

“My grandfather owns the store your trailer is probably parked at.”

Jason’s eyes widened. “Oh, you’re Cassandra! Janet’s daughter! I didn’t even recognize you!”

The lady grinned and finished writing down Jason’s order. “I didn’t really expect you to. It’s been a while and I’ve grown up a lot since then.”

Jason laughed and prodded Nate forward. “Nate has an order too. Just put it all on the one bill please. I’ll tell Jess I saw you though. Who knows, maybe we’ll be able to talk Rodney into making a stop through here next summer. Oh that reminds me, is the carnival going on?”

“Right off the main drag,” Cassandra pointed farther into the town, away from the highway. “That would be great, but I don’t know if we could get enough customers out here to make it worthwhile,” she replied sadly.

“Nah, we can probably make it work. You got major cities on either side of you, after all. We can make them meet in the middle,” Jason patted her hand before turning expectantly to Nate.

“Oh, uh,” Nate struggled to make up his mind, finally giving in and ordering four different sandwiches. Jason tacked a few more onto the order before they paid and walked away from the booth.

“Oh god that was delicious,” Nate sighed as he sat back in his chair. Jason polished off the last bite of his turkey pesto and hummed in agreement.

“I told you you’d like this place. Come on, let’s get the rest of this stowed in the trailer and then find that carnival.”

They heard the carnival through the open windows before they saw it. Tinny music led them to the smells of fried foods and cotton candy, and then they saw all the cars parked haphazardly like strange weeds in a field. “There it is,” Jason smiled and found a place to park.

They paid the ticket man and got their hands stamped before they were released onto the sawdust covered fairway. “What do you want to do first?”

“Think they have a Tilt-A-Whirl?” Nate asked as he scanned the rides.

“Think you can handle it after eating?” Jason teased, but he was already leading Nate to a small booth where they paid for a page of tickets for the rides.

“Can you?” Nate laughed. “I only ask because I don’t feel like being puked on.”

“Oh shut up, a little carnival ride isn’t gonna make me puke,” Jason shoved at him playfully.

They found the Tilt-A-Whirl, and then the Sizzler, and the swings. “Want to go up?” Jason asked, pointing at a pair of tall poles at the far end of the fairway.

“What is that?” Nate asked, suspicious of the mischievous grin on Jason’s face.

“It’s called the Ejection Seat,” Jason grinned. “Watch.”

A few moments later, Nate noticed two black rope looking things moving up to meet the tips of each pole. “Here we go,” Jason murmured, and then-

“Oh hell no,” Nate’s eyes widened as he realized that the black ropes were actually giant bungees. A two person cage of some sort shot up into the air, going far above the poles before falling again. It bounced grandly five or six times before it was slowly lowered to the ground and out of sight again.

“No?” Jason wheedled, squeezing Nate’s hand. “It’s really fun.”

“You’ve been up in that death trap?”

“Me and Jess go ever time we catch the carnival,” Jason gave him a sly look.

Nate watched the Ejection Seat go off again. Distantly, he heard the screaming of the contraption’s occupants. He glanced back at Jason with a dubious look, but Jason just chuckled and grabbed Nate’s hand, dragging him forward. “Come on, you’re not afraid of heights, are you?”

“Of course not,” Nate grumbled fondly. He loved seeing Jason lit up like this.

The Ejection Seat was even more terrifying up close. “What’s to stop those bungees from snapping?” he asked Jason as they stood in line. “Do they make you sign a waiver? I won’t go on a ride you have to sign a waiver for.”

Jason snickered and paid the guy who was going down the line. “No waiver. And the bungees won’t snap. Don’t be a chicken.”

“I’m not being a chicken,” Nate protested as he was directed to take off his shoes and empty his pockets into a bin. “I’m asking legitimate questions. Why no shoes or things in our pockets?”

“Because they’ve had things fly off of people before,” Jason answered as he led the way up to the ride.

The seats weren’t even caged in, Nate saw as they got close. It was two seats with a metal circle curving over the top of the seats and continuing down under them. The bungees were secured to the circle, and the seats had the kind of restraints found in fighter planes. “If I die from this I’m haunting you forever,” Nate grumbled as he sat down gingerly.

After they were strapped in, Jason reached over and squeezed Nate’s hand for a moment. “It’s a blast, I promise. Hold onto the bars and don’t let go.”

Nate squeezed Jason’s hand back and then they both reached for the handles by their heads. Nate waited, looking down at the crowd below them, over at Jason’s happily expectant face, up at the bungees making their way toward the top of the poles, and then back down at the ride operator. “So when is it gonna start?”

“Wait for it,” Jason replied serenely.

“I am waiting, I just want to know when it’ll go so I can- OOOOHHH FUCKKKKKK!!” With almost no warning, Nate’s stomach and the soles of his feet seemed to have been forgotten on the ground as the chair shot into the air.

“AHAHAHAHAHHHHHH!” Jason crowed with breathless, exhilarated laughter as they seemed to hang suspended in the air for a moment. The chairs were slowly tilting forward, giving Nate a crazy breath to take in the full extent of the carnival, the town, and the highway beyond, before they tilted the rest of the way. Then they were suddenly plummeting straight down, the earth seeming to reach up for them greedily.

“I HATE YOU!” Nate shouted as the bungees snapped taught. Again, there was that half moment of suspension, like the whole world was taking a breath, before they rocketed back into the air.

Jason was still cackling like a madman in the seat next to Nate as the world spun crazily. Finally, what felt like both seconds and hours later, the bouncing slowed, and they were slowly sinking to the ground. Nate’s legs felt like rubber when they were released from the death trap. He stumbled a little going down the stairs off the platform, but Jason was right there to steady him. “Tell me that wasn’t fun,” Jason challenged as they collapsed in the dry grass next to their bin of possessions. “Go on, tell me.”

“That wasn’t fun,” Nate intoned, but the more seconds ticked by and the more his breathing steadied, the more exhilarated he felt. “That was, that was…”

“Yes?” Jason’s grin was wild as he watched Nate’s face.

Nate shoved Jason down, leaning over him for a kiss, which Jason returned eagerly. “Holy shit.”

“I know, right?” Jason laughed, still laying on the ground and looking up at him. “Best thing ever.”

Looking down at Jason’s happy face, Nate couldn’t disagree.

oOo

Jason sighed happily as he wiped steam off the bathroom mirror. It was good to be off the road again. Toweling off his head, he took a long look at himself. His hair was still orange, though the color had faded somewhat. It poked out in every direction and Jason used his hands to flatten it down. The movement pulled a bit on the scar tissue on Jason's left shoulder. The scars always pulled a bit, but Jason faithfully kept up with his exercise, so the scarring never got so rigid that he couldn't perform.

Jason stared at the scars in the mirror, remembering the flaming curtain that had draped itself over his shoulder as he tried to help his family get out. He remembered the pain, remembered screaming, his lungs filling with the thick black smoke. He didn't remember the rescue; he'd fallen unconscious by then. He'd woken up next to Jess in the hospital, George Hammond and Carolyn Lam standing over them, telling them sadly that their parents hadn't made it.

Ever since then, almost everyone Jason met had told him of all sorts of ways to reduce the scars, or had reacted negatively to them in some way. Nate, who, Jason remembered, was sitting on the couch right outside the bathroom door, was the first person who hadn't done those things in one sense or another. He'd said he loved Jason, scars and all. Of course, Nate had never seen the scars close up. What would he do if he did see them up close? Jason had been told over and over by Nate and by others that Nate was different.

Jason grimaced and poked at his scarred shoulder. How different was he, though? What would he do? Jason found himself tired of asking himself those questions. He wanted to know for sure before he got too deep with Nate. He was tired of hiding, angry at all the pity he'd been subjected to over the years. Before he could think better of it, Jason wrapped his towel around his waist and turned to the door. He had to know, and if Nate didn't live up to his promises, then Jason could do something to shield himself before it was too late. Bracing himself, Jason opened the door and stepped into the main part of the trailer.

Nate had his cell phone pressed to his ear, Jason remembered him complaining about his dead Bluetooth not long before Jason got in the shower. "Yeah," Nate said to whoever he was talking to. He didn't seem to notice that the bathroom door had been opened.

"I don't know if..." Nate's voice trailed off as he finally looked up and saw Jason standing there in the doorway.

Nate's mouth was open as he stared at Jason, his eyes sliding slowly toward the scars.

"Nate? Nate, are you okay? Nate!" Jason could hear the female voice coming through Nate's phone.

"Mom, I'm going to have to call you back," Nate said and hung up on his mother without even saying goodbye.

Nate hadn't taken his eyes off Jason since he'd noticed him standing there. Although it had only been a moment or two, it was long enough for Jason's mind to run wildly in a million different directions, coming up with a million different questions and as many different scenarios for how badly this was going to play out.

He shouldn’t have done this; he should have known better than to come out like that without any warning. People generally needed time to prepare. But hadn’t that been his whole point? To see Nate’s genuine reaction? Nate was just standing there, staring though. Was that bad or good? He should go back. He definitely shouldn’t have done it like this. Jason was about to go back into the bathroom when Nate finally spoke.

"Stop," Nate said, standing up from the couch. "Whatever it is you're thinking, just stop."

Jason watched Nate's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. He didn't know what to say, he wanted to hide himself away, but he also wanted to go to Nate.

"You caught me off guard," Nate said, stepping toward Jason. "I wasn't expecting you to just come out of the bathroom shirtless."

Jason let out a hollow laugh. "No time like the present, I guess," he shrugged. He resisted the urge to cover himself up and ended up fidgeting a little, not sure what to do. "So," he murmured, all of his bravado gone. "What, ah, what do you think?"

Nate was quiet for a moment, not even trying to hide the fact that he was looking at the scars, which just made Jason fidget even more.

"I think I don't care that you have scars," Nate said softly, slowly reaching toward Jason, stopping just before he reached the scarred flesh. "I think you're a beautiful person, Jason, inside and out. I think I want to hurt the people that have made you so self conscious about your appearance. I also think that I love you. Can I touch you?" Nate asked softly.

Jason stilled and looked at Nate's still hovering hand. Nate hadn't reacted like most people did, and that he still wanted to touch... Jason closed his eyes and nodded.

Jason tensed when he felt Nate's hand on his shoulder. Nate's touch was soft, his palm ghosting over the place no one else had wanted to touch. It felt amazing though, and Jason couldn’t help but lean into Nate’s hand. After a moment of just soaking in the feel of the touch, Jason opened his eyes and looked at Nate. It seemed as if Nate didn't realize Jason was looking at him. His gaze was intent on the imperfection of Jason's shoulder.

Nate didn't look disgusted, or curious, the way everyone else had looked at Jason's scars. Everyone had looked at Jason like he was a side show freak, unable to turn away from the hideousness even as it turned their stomachs. No, Nate's face was wide open, his emotions splayed there for Jason to see. He didn't see anything negative, and at that moment, he truly believed that Nate loved him. Nate really was different, and Jason hadn't realized how much he'd hoped he would be until just now.

Finally Nate looked into Jason's eyes, his hand still moving gently over the scars. "Are they sensitive?"

Nate's question startled Jason and he realized he was leaning into the touch a little. "Uh, not really, I guess," Jason shrugged his right shoulder. "I guess I don't really know. No one's ever really, you know, done much with them."

"This feels good though, right?" Nate asked, still gently stroking.

"Yeah," Jason nodded. "Yeah it does."

"Good," Nate replied.

Jason watched as Nate's pupils dilated right before his eyes. He could hardly believe that Nate didn't mind touching his scars, let alone that he still turned Nate on. Nate's hand slowly inched over the scar tissue, making its way down toward the nipple.

Jason gasped when Nate thumb passed over his scarred nipple.

"Is this okay?" Nate asked. He sounded broken, wrecked, like there was nothing he'd rather be doing at the moment than exploring Jason's body.

Jason was getting hard under his towel, the scratchy material annoying him a bit. "That's great," Jason sighed happily. He wondered if he should be doing more to encourage Nate, but then again Nate seemed perfectly happy with what he was doing.

Jason leaned his head back a little and let his eyes drift closed, just enjoying the touch. Nate made a strangled noise and Jason opened his eyes to look, but then there was warm wet heat on his shoulder. "Oh fuck," Jason groaned. Nate's mouth. Nate's tongue was tracing the scarred flesh and it was amazing. "Jesus, Nate," Jason's arm slid up Nate's back and he sank his fingers into Nate's green hair, gently holding him in place.

Nate hummed as he mouthed the flesh, his tongue teasing the pattern left by the burning fabric.

Jason groaned and his hips moved forward just a bit. They weren't close enough to get any real friction and he ended up just bumping his erection against Nate's hip.

After another moment, Nate looked up at Jason, his lips glistening, his breathing shallow. "I want you, Jason," Nate whispered closing the distance between their mouths. "Can I have you?" he asked, his lips brushing over Jason's.

Jason moaned against Nate's mouth and kissed him hard. "Yes," he gasped when they separated. "Let's ah, go over there. Bed," he felt a little stupid but Jason was too turned on to really care what he sounded like. His current goals didn't run far beyond getting them both naked and on the bed.

Nate thumbed Jason's nipple again before stepping back and pulling off his own shirt. He was working on his pants when he nodded toward the bed. "Lose the towel and get up there, Jase. On your back please."

Jason didn't need to be asked twice. He let the towel fall when he was next to the bed, and then rolled onto it and propped himself up on his elbows so he could see Nate. Nate's eyes didn't leave Jason as he got his pants and boxers down and kicked them and his shoes off. A moment later he was leaning over Jason, their erections brushing teasingly. "You're gorgeous," Nate sighed, dipping his head to trace the scars again.

Jason knew Nate meant what he said, but that didn't stop the blush from creeping into his cheeks. Jason turned away, ashamed of his reaction to those words.

"Hey," Nate said softly and gently turned Jason's face back toward him. "You're gorgeous," he repeated. "You should get used to hearing that from me, because I plan on saying it a lot."

This time, Jason smiled and pulled Nate down for another kiss. They kissed for a minute, Nate rubbing over both of Jason's shoulders, then up into his hair, and then down his arms.

With a moan, Nate pulled away from the kiss and put his mouth back on Jason's shoulder. Jason writhed as Nate's mouth drove him insane. He gasped in a breath and involuntarily arched his back when Nate's lips closed around his scarred nipple.

"Oh god, Nate," Jason moaned, his hands sliding into Nate's hair. "That feels so fucking good."

Jason wasn't sure if it was possible for just a part of his body to be touch starved, but it seemed to be the case.

Nate was relentless, sucking Jason's nipple, flicking his tongue over it and biting down gently until Jason was writhing and moaning loudly.

"Ah, Nate," Jason groaned, shivering from the pleasure.

Jason's erection brushed against Nate's stomach and he humped involuntarily, needing the friction. Nate was driving him crazy with all the rubbing and the sucking and Jason didn't think he could take much more. "Nate, please, I need," he groaned, thrusting up against Nate again.

Nate chuckled and after another moment he pulled off with a small pop.

"I could do this for hours," Nate said.

Jason thought he'd like to experience that, but not right now, while his cock was aching for the delicious friction Nate could provide.

Nate flicked Jason's sensitive nipple with his tongue and Jason almost flew apart.

"Nate, please," he groaned.

Nate growled low in his throat and adjusted himself so he was right on top of Jason, their erections side by side. Jason moaned, his hands sliding to Nate's ass. It wasn't going to take much; Jason already felt like he was riding high. He thrust up against Nate, feeling the slick from their precome. His head fell back against the bed and he was right there, so close...

Nate moaned and set his teeth to Jason's scarred shoulder, and that was it. Jason felt his hole body jerk and lock up as he came messily between them. "Oh fuck," he hissed, teeth clenched. Nate groaned and ground his hips down and Jason felt new warmth between them.

They both stayed frozen like that for a moment, trying to get their breaths back. "Shit, Nate," Jason finally sighed, stroking lazily at Nate's back. How had he gotten so lucky?

"Think I'm the one who got lucky," Nate sighed into his ear. Jason blushed. He hadn't realized he'd said that out loud.

Nate kissed Jason's shoulder and rolled off, sprawling beside Jason on the bed. "Now we have to shower," he chuckled.

Jason rolled onto his side and grinned at Nate. "Yeah, but it was worth it."

Nate chuckled and leaned in for a kiss. He stopped just inches away from Jason's mouth. "Completely worth it," he whispered.

Jason hummed his agreement and closed the distance between their mouths. His left nipple tingled with sensitivity and he thought that was a feeling he could get used to. No one had ever done to him what Nate just had.

His life was perfect, and he wouldn't ever have to worry about hiding his scars again. It didn't matter what anyone else thought of them, Nate didn't mind them. Jason would probably go so far as to say that Nate liked them, and his was the only opinion that would matter from then on.

After another few minutes of kissing and snuggling, Jason forced his way out of Nate's arms.

"We really need to shower," he said.

Nate nodded and got out of bed with Jason. They headed for the bathroom and Jason started the water.

It was a minor miracle that they actually got clean. Nate didn't seem to be able to keep his hands off of Jason's body. It was only their age that kept them from having round two in the shower.

Eventually though, they did get clean, and Jason ushered Nate out of the shower.

"We should get some rest," he said.

"Yeah," Nate agreed as he ran a towel over his hair.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Jason asked hopefully. He wanted to feel Nate's arms wrapped around him all night long. He wanted to wake up to Nate's beautiful face next to him, he wanted to do so many things to and with this man, he couldn't even list them all.

"Yeah," Nate said, moving closer to Jason. "I'll stay."

Jason smiled and kissed his lover before heading out to the bedroom.

Jason made quick work of changing the sheets, and then he and Nate were once again snuggled together under the warmth of the blanket.

For the first time in a long time, Jason's mind was quiet enough for him to feel the pull of sleep almost immediately. With a happy and contented sigh, he allowed himself to slip into the darkness of sleep.

He barely registered the brush of Nate's lips on his temple and the whispered "I love you."

oOo

Jason stood at the bottom of the ladder and quickly ran through his stretches again. His shoulder was a little tight, probably because of everything he and Nate had gotten up to the night before. Jason grinned and felt heat rising in his cheeks as he thought about it. Quickly he pushed those memories aside, standing up straight again and twisting. In doing so he took in the murmuring crowd in the first three rows of seats. They were here for the practice, having won the drawings Rodney and Jack set up whenever they went to a new place.

Jason instinctively wanted to make sure they put on a good show, but as Rodney had repeatedly told them, this was only a practice. He had to keep that in mind. He glanced up at where D was already swinging gently on the high bar and and smiled, mentally preparing himself.

"Ready?" Nate asked, coming up beside Jason.

"Yeah, let's go," Jason bumped Nate with his hip and started climbing.

He had to wonder, as he climbed the last few rungs of the ladder, if Nate was looking up at his ass and thinking the same things he'd been thinking a moment before.

"You're blushing," Katie whispered as Jason climbed up onto the platform.

Damn, Jason thought and focused on his breathing as he moved along the platform to his position. It took several seconds after Nate was off the ladder before he could look at him. When he did, he was pleased to see that Nate's cheeks were a little pink as well.

"Ready, boys and girls?" Damien said from the top bar.

"Always," Jason smiled up at him before turning to grab his bar. He pushed it, letting it swing out into the air a few times.

Jason took a deep breath, praying that this would work as well as it had in previous practices.

A glance at Wes let him know that the catcher was ready for him. With another breath, Jason caught the bar and swung out. He let himself swing a few times, getting a high arc before letting go and flying over to Wes.

Wes caught him flawlessly, as Jason knew he would, Wes was the absolute best catcher in the world. A moment later, Jason was standing on the catcher’s platform, and the small crowd was applauding after their collective gasp.

It had been Damien's idea, let the crowd think there was only going to be a single catcher, until Jason ended up on the second catchers bar. It was a good idea, especially since it had gone off without a hitch every time they did it in practice.

Jason recentered himself before he took hold of the catcher's bar that was still hooked to the scaffolding above the catcher platform. He let himself push off with the bar, swinging once before gripping and curling, his palms catching and rubbing slightly despite the powder as he curled himself up and hooked his knees over the bar. He locked gazes with Katie and smiled, gesturing at his own chest.

Jason watched as Katie stretched, twisted and waved at the small crowd. A moment later, her slight form was arcing through the air, aimed directly at his chest.

She connected with Jason just at the start of his backswing and Jason resisted the urge to grab her. She curled her body to the side and let her momentum curl her around Jason as she slipped down his body. She was behind him when she got to his shoulders, and she let go as Jason brought his arms up. As she went past, her hands gripped his wrists and he gripped hers.

His heart was beating a mile a minute as he let the momentum of the catch swing them forward again. With a quick glance down, he was satisfied to see Lorne in position. This was a difficult trick; Katie was facing away from her bar, she was trusting Jason completely to get her back. Another deep breath and he was in position to release Katie.

"Here we go," he said a moment before he threw her back toward her bar.

Jason watched as Katie curled herself into a neat flip, coming out of it just in time to catch her swinging bar with both hands. Below them, the small crowd cheered. Katie swung, grinning widely at Jason.

"Nice!" Wes grinned. "Alright Nate, you're on!"

Jason watched as Nate and Wes set up their timing. Above them all, he could hear Damien talking to himself and doing his own thing on the high stationary bar. Jason didn't see what happened next, all he heard was the crowd gasp and Damien's laugh of "oh shit!"

Jason saw Lorne press the button, but the net didn't spring up.

"Wes!" Lorne shouted from beneath them, and an instant later Wes had grabbed Damien, grunting loudly as Damien dangled by one arm.

“Daddy!” Jason heard Allie shriek from below them, but he couldn’t pay attention to her right then. All his attention was glued on Wes and Damien.

"Fuck," Wes groaned he started swinging harder.

"Here!"

Jason looked up and saw Nate swinging on his bar out for Damien.

Wes grunted again as he tossed Damien over. Damien reached up with both arms, and Nate caught him as carefully as he could, obviously mindful of the fact that Wes had just had to catch him by one arm.

Jason sat up and swung himself over to the platform. Once he was there he snatched up the swing hook and hauled Wes close enough that he could help Wes off his bar.

"You okay?" he asked.

"My knees," was all Wes replied.

It had all been so fast that it was only as Jason helped Wes back onto the platform that it really hit him what had just happened. "Oh god, the net didn't work."

Wes sat on the platform and was rubbing his knees, but he looked up at Jason solemnly. "It didn't work," he agreed.

Jason looked over at where Nate was checking out Damien's shoulder. Damien would have probably died. Or Katie could have, if Jason had screwed up their flight. His stomach lurched and he had to fight down the urge to throw up. "Okay, let's get you on the ground," Jason helped Wes over to the ladder.

Below them, Jason could hear Rodney and Lorne arguing, and a quick glance at their audience showed John and Jess working to keep them calm and in their seats.

They were barely on the ground before Carson and Allie rushed over to them.

"Not here," Nate said and moved to help Jason get Wes into a chair carry. Damien gathered Allie close and his daughter hugged him tight as tears streamed down her face.

"What the fuck happened?" Damien asked in a pained tone, once they were out of the tent.

Carson ushered them over to one of the picnic tables and helped them get Wes situated. As he talked to Wes, Lorne came jogging out of the big top and over to the group. "We think there was a malfunction," he sighed. "We'll do a thorough exam of the net and look at Rodney's recording once the practice audience is gone."

Jason hissed as Carson cut away the material of Wes' uniform. His knees were bruised, worse than Jason thought they should be, but not as bad as they probably could be. Wes and Damien had been flying together for years; this probably wasn't the first time Wes had to catch him off guard.

Wes grunted and Damien and Allie both turned back to look. Carson sat back and sighed. "There's already a lot of bruising. Katie, Allie, be dears and run for ice packs. I want to get a look at Damien's shoulder and then we should take them into the hospital for x-rays.”

"At the risk of sounding insensitive," Nate began, sounding a little shy. "Do you think he'll be able to perform in the show?"

Jason had a feeling he knew what was going through Nate's mind, and it wasn't the show.

"Aye," Carson replied as Katie and Allie came back with the ice packs. He gently laid them across Wes' knees. "I think Damien he will. I'd like to get Wes ex-rayed before I say anything for sure though. However, they will both likely be missing the next few practices."

"Hey guys," John said as he joined the group. "I was thinking, maybe we should change the act from what you'd worked out. If Wes is able to perform, maybe he should only catch the girls, and only easy flights."

"No!" Wes argued, but anything else he might have said was cut off by a loud grunt and hiss of pain.

"I can catch," Nate suggested.

"Yes well, you all can talk about that while I get these boys to the hospital. John, perhaps you or Rodney can accompany me?"

"I'll get the truck," John said as he turned to go. "I imagine Rodney will want to pull the net right away and look over everything with Radek and Evan."

Jason and Nate both helped get Wes and Damien into the back seat of the truck when John had parked it in the soft grass next to the tent. After they were gone, Jason took a deep breath and looked at Nate. "That was terrifying."

"That's an understatement," Nate replied, running his hand through his hair. "At least it was during practice. Something like that could put a circus under real quick."

"I hope they're both going to be okay," Jason said as he started back toward the tent.

"I'm not too worried about D," Nate said, walking beside Jason. "It didn't look like that bad a catch as far as his shoulder goes. I'm more worried about Wes' knees. They looked pretty bad, they were already starting I swell."

Jason sighed as he stopped in the entrance of the tent. A small portion of the crowd was still there, they were most likely the ones who'd won the secondary drawing and were waiting for their behind the scenes tour. "I don't know what we'll do if Wes can't perform."

"We'll get through. Either you and I will catch, or we'll have to talk John into flying again until Wes is better."

Jason nodded as he watched Rodney move over to the small crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen," Rodney started, "due to the circumstances, I'm afraid the behind the scenes portion of the event will have to be postponed until tomorrow. It's been an eventful evening and we have to see to the safety of our performers first."

The crowd murmured a little but no one seemed very upset about the announcement. As they got closer, Jason noticed that one little boy did seem overly white faced and serious. Jason hoped that what the boy had seen tonight wouldn't scare him into nightmares.

oOo

Nate sighed as he sank down into one of the chairs in Rodney's office.

"I've already talked to both Teyla an Katie," Rodney said as he sat behind his desk. "I'm just trying to get everyone's story, try to piece everything together from all the points of view," Rodney said. "We have the video, but the angle isn't the best for seeing what exactly happened. So..." he spread his hands, the universal sign for start talking.

"I didn't see what happened," Nate said. It was the truth; he'd been focusing on getting the timing right for his own flight. "I heard D talking to himself or something, while I was counting the seconds between Wes' back swing and his forward. Our next trick was one of the more difficult ones that we hadn't practiced much. I wanted to get the timing perfect."

"Makes sense," Rodney said. "Did you hear what Damien was saying?"

Nate shook his head. "No, I was too far into my own head."

"Okay, Jason?"

"Pretty much the same," Jason replied. "I heard him talking, but I was focusing on preparing mentally for my next catch. Next thing I knew, D was falling and Lorne was shouting for Wes. Good thing Wes understood what the shout was for. That fall could have been fatal."

"Teyla and Katie said the same thing," Rodney told them. "I was hoping for a little more to go on, but at least now I know that I have the best and most professional trapeze act around. You were all focusing on the job, which is exactly where your heads were supposed to be. I've got Radek taking the net mechanism apart completely. We've already ordered a new one, but I'd like to know what went wrong with this one."

"Good," Nate said. "Not sure how comfortable I'd be flying above a net that may or may not work if we need it."

Rodney nodded. "Thanks guys, you can go. I've just heard from John, they should be back any time now."

Just as Nate was getting up, there was a quick knock on Rodney's trailer door and Radek came in before anyone had a chance to respond. "Sabotage," he growled angrily as he came in. "Someone sabotaged the net releases."

Nate felt his entire body go cold. "What?"

"Who would do something like that?" Jason whispered.

"I do not know," Radek sighed, "but I can show you the damage. Someone tried to make it look like wear and tear but Evan and I both check over the net every time we put it up or take it down."

"How much time do you think it would take to have done it?" Rodney asked. Nate glanced over at him. He was leaned over his desk, one elbow resting on its surface with his hand in his hair.

"Not long. And it was within the last few hours because we did a test run not long before practice," Radek replied.

"Shit," Nate spat. "Could it have been one of the crowd?"

"No," Radek said firmly. "This was done by someone who knows the workings of the circus. Someone who has seen the net being put up."

"Not to mention, the drawing winners are never left unattended," Rodney supplied.

"So it was one of our own?" Jason asked. "Someone we know and trust is trying to... What? Kill one of us? Because that's what would have happened if Wes hadn't caught Damien."

"I hate to even think someone in the family would be that heartless," Nate replied.

"Rodney," Laura's voice came through the closed door a moment before she knocked.

Rodney answered the door, "Laura, what is this?" he asked.

"This is something you need to hear, Rodney," Laura said. "All of you."

A moment later, a family of three were crowding into the trailer.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Mr. McKay," the man said. "We know you're in the middle of a ... situation. But I believe my son has something important to tell you."

The little boy, no more than six or seven, stepped forward and bowed his head when Rodney looked down at him.

"Rodney," Nate whispered. "Sit down, you're scary."

The kid laughed a little but nodded, and Rodney sat down.

"Go on, sweetie, tell Mr. McKay what you told us," the woman said sweetly.

"I saw..." the kid began and took a step back toward his parents, looking back down at his feet. "I saw a man... By the flying poles. I... I wasn't 'posed to be there, but I wanted to see."

The father sighed softly and put a gentle hand on the boys shoulder. "He wanders off," the man explained. "He's very slippery. Before we even knew he wasn't with us, we were being led into the big tent and he was already in a seat. He was too quiet as we walked back to the car, then he refused to get in. He said it was his fault the flyer fell. He told us about seeing the man, and we knew we had to see you."

Rodney sighed and nodded. "Thank you," he said and looked at the boy. "Do you know who it was you saw?"

The boy shook his head sadly.

"Hey," Jason said and reached out a hand. "My name is Jason," he said in a friendly tone.

The kid looked at his parents before shaking Jason's hand and introducing himself as Jimmy.

"You know, it's okay if you don't remember. The performers are always so far away from the seats that it's hard to see them sometimes."

Jimmy nodded.

"I bet you'd remember if you saw him again though," Nate added.

"Yeah," Jason agreed, smiling at Nate and then at Jimmy. "If you want, and if it's okay with your parents, we could walk around and see if you recognize anyone. Your parents could come if you want."

Jimmy looked up at Jason before glancing uncertainly at his parents. "It'd be like a mystery," Jason continued, his expression becoming a little mischievous and playful. "You wanna be my junior detective?"

"We didn't win the behind the scenes thing," Jimmy replied.

"That's okay," Jason shrugged. "If you're my junior detective then you're allowed to go look around with me. And you guys can come back tomorrow night for the real behind the scenes tour."

"We can?" Jimmy perked up at that.

"Of course. Even if we don't see the man tonight, you were very brave and helpful to come here and tell us what you saw," Jason reached up and patted the boy's shoulder. "It's like you're already a junior detective. You saw things that didn't make sense and made sure to tell us."

The kid seemed to swell with pride at that. Nate couldn't help but smile as he watched Jason interact with the kid. He was obviously good with children and enjoyed being around them. Jimmy turned to look up at his parents. "Can I go with Mr. Jason and try to find the man?"

Jimmy's mom looked between Jason and Rodney and then nodded. "Okay, but be safe."

"And don't wander off," his father added firmly.

"I'll keep his hand the whole time," Jason said. "In fact, that'll be our signal. If you see the man, you squeeze my hand. Okay?"

"Okay," Jimmy replied. "I can do that."

"Perfect, let's go," Jason said and led the kid out of the trailer.

Nate took a deep breath and watched Jason leave.

"We certainly hope those two men are going to be alright," the woman said softly.

"So do we," Rodney replied.

"Did Jimmy tell you anything?" Nate asked. "The guy’s hair color? That he was wearing? Anything?"

"No, I'm sorry," she said. "He was very scared. He was afraid he'd get in trouble for having wandered off when we were told to stay with Mr. Parrish."

"He really is a good boy," the dad said. "He just gets over excited."

"The fact that he wouldn't leave without telling us what he saw proves he's a good kid," Nate told them. "Hopefully he'll see the man who was there and we can get everything back to normal."

Nate couldn't help but notice how quiet Rodney was being, and he remembered the rumors about how Rodney hated all children who weren't in his circus. He wondered how true they were.

A moment later, John walked through the door. "Nothing's... Oh, hello."

"Hello," the parents said in unison.

"Rodney?" John asked.

"I'll explain later."

"How're Wes and D?" Nate knew it probably wasn't proper to ask in from of Jimmy's parents, but he had to know.

"Nothing's dislocated on either of them. Damien is fine aside from being a little sore. The catch was sloppy, but good. Wes needs to be off his feet for no less than a week, and keep his knees iced."

Nate nodded, although he knew John was leaving things out because of their guests.

"Is Jess outside?" Rodney asked.

John nodded and poked his head out of the trailer door. A moment later, Jess joined them. "What's up?" she asked, sparing a warm smile for Jimmy's parents.

"I was thinking they'd like some coffee or tea," Rodney told her, and Jess nodded, getting his meaning.

"Sure, if you two would come with me, I can show you to the mess tent," she smiled again and held the trailer door open. "It's just a few feet away from here so you'll be able to see when Jason and Jimmy come back."

The parents glanced at each other and nodded before following Jason's sister out of the trailer. When they were gone and the door was closed, Nate sighed. "Fuck, I can't believe one of our own did this."

"How's Wes, really?" Rodney asked John, ignoring Nate. Nate didn't begrudge him for it; everyone in the trailer was feeling the same anger.

"One of ours did it?" John asked, having missed that revelation while he was gone to the hospital.

"Sabotage," Radek answered grimly.

"John," Rodney got his attention. "How's Wes?"

John sighed and sank into the chair Jason left empty. "Not as bad as he could be, everything is still intact. He strained a tendon pretty badly, so he's going to be completely off his feet for at least a couple of months. He won't be performing in the city at all. Now who were those people, and what did Nate mean when he said one of ours did it?"

Rodney sighed and shook his head. "They were the parents of a kid who saw someone at the net. Jason's got him right now, trying to see if he can figure out who did it."

"Damn it," John sighed and rubbed his face. "This isn't supposed to happen to us."

"Hey," Nate said, "It's gonna be okay. We'll figure out who did it, and get rid of them. This hasn't ruined us. I'm just glad it was during a practice, and-"

He was cut off as Jason walked back into the trailer without Jimmy.

"He find the guy?" Rodney asked.

Jason looked a little pale, but he shook his head. "No, we didn't see him. Look, guys, I'm sorry, but I think I need to go lay down. I still think I might be sick and I might be bordering on a panic attack."

He certainly looked like he was about to pass out or freak out. "You want me to go with you?" Nate asked.

Jason shook his head. "No, I'll be okay. I just need to go home. Besides, you should stay and help Rodney, John, and Radek look through the recording."

"Okay, but text me if you need anything," Nate replied. Jason nodded, gave an apologetic look to Rodney, and quickly made his exit.

“Right,” Rodney grunted as he got out of his chair. “Let’s look at the tape again,” he hit play and sat down. They were at the tail end of Allie’s silk practice, but for once no one in the room was watching her perform. Instead, their attention was on the left corner of the screen, where the trapeze was set up.

Nate sat, leaning forward and studying the tape when Rodney's door flew open.

"Where's Jason?" Jess asked, breathless as if she'd just run a long way.

"He went back to his trailer," Rodney said. "Said he wasn't feeling good."

"Why?" Nate asked, feeling his stomach clench, although he didn't know why.

"Because Ladon did it."

Jess was still talking when Nate got up, ran through the door and across the circle toward Ladon's trailer. He should have known, he berated himself as he ran. Jason had come back looking paler than when he left. Even if they hadn’t seen Ladon when Jason and Jimmy were walking, something the kid said had obviously told Jason who had done it.

As he got close to Ladon’s trailer, the first thing Nate saw was Ladon trying to shove a limp Jason into the cab of his truck. Rage flared white hot inside Nate’s chest at the sight. "Mother fucker!" Nate shouted and slammed into Ladon, knocking him to the ground. In his peripheral vision, Nate saw Jason slide out of the truck into a heap on the ground, but his attention was on Ladon.

"You could have killed him!" Nate yelled as his fist connected with Ladon's jaw. "Why would you do that?" Nate hit him again.

"Because Jason is mine!" Ladon shouted back, swinging up at Nate.

Nate barely registered the sting of the punch to his jaw as he landed another blow to Ladon's face.

The rage filled Nate up and the only way to not explode was to let it out, so Nate did, all over Ladon's face. His vision narrowed down until he was nearly blind, but he kept seeing Damien fall, kept seeing Jason's unconscious form sliding onto the ground, and Nate couldn't stop. "You bastard, you selfish asshole!" he knew he was yelling, knew Ladon was nearly limp under him, but he couldn't stop.

Hands clamped on his shoulders and yanked Nate off of Ladon. Nate struggled, yelling wordlessly, but strong arms wrapped around him and Ronon's voice was in his ear. "Enough! Stackhouse, he's down."

Nate struggled against Ronon for another moment but it was useless.

"Jason," Nate said and looked toward Ladon's truck.

"Carson's with him," Ronon said, still holding Nate tightly.

He watched as John and Rodney knelt beside Ladon. Then Laura was there along with Teyla and Katie.

"That bastard could have killed Damien, and he tried to kidnap Jason. You should have let me finish him, Ronon."

"Yeah, but then you'd be in prison and no one would be better. Come on, let's get you away from here."

"No!" Nate shouted and began struggling again. "Not without Jason!"

"Fine," Ronon kept a grip on Nate's shoulder as they moved over to where Carson was still bent over Jason.

"How is he?" Nate asked, falling to his knees at Jason's side.

"He took a blow to the head," Carson sighed. "He'll have a killer headache in the morning and I've not ruled out a concussion yet. He'll stay with me tonight so I can keep an eye on him."

Behind them, Laura, Rodney, and John were standing over a still unconscious Ladon. "What do we do with him?" Nate heard John ask.

"We feed him to Laura's cats," Nate said without hesitation. "They'll eat him, bones and all. No one will ever know and no one will miss him."

"No," Rodney said firmly. "We are not murdering anyone, whether we have good reason to or not."

"He'd probably make my guys sick anyway," Laura added. "I do, however, have a spare cage we could keep him in until we figure out what to do with him."

"That's a good idea," John agreed.

"Carson," Nate said after a moment. "If Jason has to stay with you tonight, I'm staying too."

"Ah, no lad, sorry," Carson looked up at Nate regretfully. "First, there'll not be enough room, but more importantly, you're riding too high to be any good for Jason when he wakes up. You still want to kill Ladon, and Jason's already had enough excitement."

Nate wanted to argue, but he knew Carson was right. He groaned and scrubbed a hand through his hair before hissing in surprise at the sudden sting. He looked down at his hands and found the knuckles split and bleeding. "Huh."

Carson tisked and peered at Nate's hands. "Right. Let's get Jason settled and Radek will stay with him while I look at your hands."

Ronon bent down and gently gathered Jason in his arms before following Carson towards his trailer. Nate followed, sparing a glance over to watch John and Laura pick up Ladon's still form and carry him away. Nate hoped there'd be some tiger accidentally let loose that night or something.

"What's goin’ on?" a voice slurred as Nate's group passed Wes and Damien's trailer. Nate looked over to see Wes sprawled out in a yard chair with pillows under his knees. "That Jason? Shit, that's Jason. Damien!"

Damien came outside, Allie on his heels. "What's all this then?" he exclaimed as he hurried over to Ronon, who kept on going.

"Ladon," Nate growled as he passed Damien. "Ladon did this, did everything."

"Sunbird, stay with yer da," Damien ordered as he followed Nate. "Ladon tried to kill us?"

"Jason figured it out and went to confront him," Nate tiredly filled him in. "He went to confront Ladon without telling us and Ladon knocked him out and was going to take him away."

"Where's the bastard now?" Damien snarled.

"Laura's throwing him in a cage for the night," Nate answered. Carson's trailer was in front of them now and they followed Carson and Ronon into the yard, pausing in the doorway as the animals streamed out into the yard.

Ronon settled Jason on the bed and Carson fussed over him quietly as Nate and Damien looked on from the entrance. "Doc?" Damien finally asked.

"His vitals are nice and strong," Carson replied. He pulled a penlight out of a cup of pens and pencils and lifted Jason's eyelids. "Pupils equal and reactive, thank goodness. He should wake up when he's good and ready to. Now, let's see to your hands, Nate," Carson stood and ushered the two men out the door. With a called instruction for Radek to call him of Jason woke up, the three men headed back toward Nate's trailer.

"Hey Al," Damien said once they were close to the trailers. "Why don't you go inside for a bit?"

With a put upon sigh, the girl went inside and Nate dropped down on one of Damien's lawn chairs.

"'s going on?" Wes slurred.

"You beat the shit out a 'im, didn't you?" Damien asked, ignoring Wes for a moment.

"That he did," Carson said. It wasn't a reprimand, but he certainly didn't sound happy.

"Good on ya mate."

"Beat who?" Wes asked.

"Ladon," Nate replied, hissing as Carson dabbed peroxide on his knuckles. "He's the one who fucked with the net."

Even in his drugged state, Wes' eyes grew dark and serious. "I'm gonna need that repeated to me tomorrow," he told Damien before taking a deep breath and leaning his head back on the headrest of his chair. "'s just I can't be sure I heard right."

"I'll tell yeh in the morning, Wessers," Damien assured. "Yeh ready ta pack it in?"

Wes thought about that for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah I could pass out now."

"Be back," Damien said before moving to help Wes into the house.

"I got it, D," Wes tried to insist. "I feel good." He tried to push away from Damien and almost fell down. D caught him just in time. "Oh."

"Yeh, oh," Damien laughed. "C'mon, let's get yeh in bed."

Nate turned and watched as D and Wes went inside. He wondered what Wes had in mind for Ladon, but he didn't really care.

"There now," Carson said as he finished bandaging Nate's knuckles. "Try not to hit anyone else."

"There's no need to hit anyone else," Nate replied.

"Aye. It was a joke son."

"Yeah, just make sure Ladon doesn't get out. If I get to him again, even Ronon won't be able to stop me."

Carson sighed and shook his head. "I'll call you when Jason wakes up, although I doubt that'll be before morning."

Nate watched Carson go before closing his eyes for a moment. He took a deep breath, trying to talk himself out of going to find the cage Laura had put Ladon in. The image of Jason sliding bonelessly out of the truck and onto the ground flashed through Nate's mind again. "Fuck it," he hissed, standing up.

"Oi!" Damien's voice stopped Nate. He turned to see the other man standing in the doorway of his trailer. "There'll be none of that right now. Come inside, Stacks. I think yeh should stay with us tonight."

Nate wanted to argue but when he opened his mouth to do so, Damien shook his head and gestured for Nate to come inside. With a small growl, Nate complied.

The trailer was cool and dim, but it didn't do anything to make Nate feel better. "He knocked him out, Damien. If Jess hadn't figured it out, or if I'd have stayed to hear the rest of what she was saying..." he shook his head. "Jason would be gone. Who knows what Ladon had planned for him. The guy's messed up, D. He did it because Jason and I are together."

"Yeh don' have ta worry about ‘im anymore, mate, it's all going to be okay," Damien replied, handing Nate a cold beer.

"Okay? How can you say it's okay? Your shoulder is hurt and Wes' knees are so bad he won't be performing for a few months. I'm pretty sure Ladon wanted it to be me or Jason, but I don't think he cared who he got, as long as someone in the troupe was killed."

"You're killing my buzz, Stakhouse," Wes slurred from where he was curled in the bed. "Don't get me mad tonight or I'll make an incof-inco- hmm, incoherent. Phone call."

Nate glanced from Wes back to Damien, bewildered. "What?"

Damien shook his head. "Never mind him. Here, let's get yeh set up ta sleep."

When Nate settled down onto the sofa, he thought that sleep was the furthest thing away from him. It seemed, however, that now that it was dark and quiet and the adrenaline had worn off, Nate was exhausted. He didn't fall asleep, he plummeted head first into it.

oOo

The delicious smell of coffee woke Damien and he groaned, stretching before rolling over to look out their open bedroom door. Nate was already sitting at the small dining table, a mug clasped between his hands. "Mornin," Damien said, sitting up and scratching the side of his head. Bed head always made his scalp feel weird in the mornings.

"Hey," Nate answered. "Coffee?"

"Hell yes," D sighed and got out of bed, padding into the main area in only his boxers. "Heard from Carson yet?"

"No, but it's still early."

Damien heard Wes sit up as he was pulling down coffee mugs. "Want some, Wessers?" he asked.

"Yeah. Oh fuck, my knees are stiff," Wes groaned.

"I'll get yer meds too," Damien poured two cups of coffee and then grabbed a glass for water.

Damien helped Wes out of bed and into the living room. Gently sitting him down on the sofa, Damien carefully pulled Wes' legs up onto the couch.

"You remember?" he asked as he handed Wes the coffee mug.

"Ladon," Wes said, and Damien nodded. He hadn't thought that Wes would forget, but he had been pretty high on pain drugs.

"Yeah," Damien replied. "Sabotaged the net and tried to kidnap Jason. Nate beat the hell out of 'im, now he's cooling his heels in one of Laura's extra cages."

Wes took a sip of his coffee and looked at Nate before looking back at Damien. "You guys wanna step outside?" he asked.

Damien could see by the way Wes was holding himself that he was in pain, but he also knew he wouldn't take his meds until he was ready. He peeked into Allie's room, satisfying himself that their daughter had stuck to her early mornings and was already out playing. Nodding, he turned around, grabbing Wes' cell phone off the counter as he made his way back through the kitchen.

"Come on, Stackers, let's take a little walk," he said and handed the phone to Wes.

"What? Why?" Nate asked as they exited the double wide.

"Plausible deniability," Damien smiled faintly. "What we don' know can't hurt us. Don't worry about it, Stacks. C'mon, let's go see if Carson's up yet."

"Plausib... Oh, right. Yeah, let's go see Carson."

Damien smiled when understanding dawned on Nate's face. "Like I said last night, don't worry about it."

Radek answered the door with his own version of bed head, which really wasn't all that far off from how it usually was. "Ah, Carson was about to call you I believe. Come in. Come on dogs, outside," Radek got them in and then directed the flow of canine traffic out into the yard.

Jason was still laying on the couch, but he was answering questions for Carson and absently petting Icarus the cat, who was ensconced on his chest. "How's his head?" Damien asked as he sat at the small table.

"Hurts," Jason answered before Carson could.

Nate sat on the floor next to the couch and took one of Jason's hands in his. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Yeah, thanks to you guys," Jason sighed. "Carson filled me in on what happened. I was such an idiot to try to go over there myself."

Damien watched the exchange between the new lovers, and couldn't help but think how perfect they were for one another. Jason had been an idiot for confronting Ladon on his own, but Nate wasn't telling him that. In a few years, once they got to know each other as well as Damien and Wes knew one another, Nate would tell Jason that he was an idiot, but not today.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Nate told him.

Damien watched Jason grimace as he sat up and looked down at Nate's bandaged hands.

"I heard you did a number on him though," Jason said.

Nate chuckled, "Yeah, I guess I did, but I was pissed. Originally all I was going to do was punch him and be done with it. But when I got there and he was trying to get you in the truck... I just lost it."

Jason nodded and leaned forward a bit, resting his forehead against Nate's.

"I'll give you boys a moment, then you'll be free to go," Carson said and motioned for Damien to join him outside.

"How is Wes this morning?" Carson asked once they were outside the trailer.

"Ah, yeh know," Damien shrugged as he watched the dogs chase each other around the yard. "'e's hilarious when he's stoned, an serious this mornin'. He'll be fine after 'e taks his meds."

"He's not taken them yet today?" Carson raised an eyebrow at Damien.

"Had to do something first," Damien shrugged, then jumped a little. "Sorry, my butt's vibrating," he laughed and pulled his phone from his back pocket.

It's done, come back. I want out and you left my pills on the counter asshole.

Damien snickered and locked the phone again. "’e's ready fer his meds an sunshine now, I best go get him."

"Alright," Carson said, "You can take Nate and Jason with you. Jason doesn't have a concussion, but I'm sure he'll be a little stumbley today."

"Alright," Damien poked his head in through the door. "You ready boys?"

"Yeah," Nate answered and helped Jason of the couch.

"How's your shoulder feeling?" Carson asked once Damien was fully back outside.

"Eh, bit sore, a little tight, but it's alright."

"Good, let me know if you need anything."

"Will do, Doc," Damien said as he left the yard.

"Thanks for everything, Carson," Jason said quietly as he and Nate made their way out of the trailer. Damien left them to their goodbyes. Wes wasn't very patient when he was in pain.

Damien's phone vibrated again just as he got to their trailer. "I'm here, Wessers, keep yet shorts on," he chuckled as he opened the door.

"Well it’s about time. My fucking knees are killing me," Wes grumbled as Damien walked into their trailer.

"Here darling," Damien joked as he handed Wes his pill and a glass of water. "We'll get you set up outside and I'll get you some ice." He helped Wes off the couch and out the door. His heart breaking a little with each and every sound of pain Wes made. His lover had a ridiculously high tolerance for pain, and Damien could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen Wes in actual pain throughout their years together.

He settled Wes in the reclining lawn chair in the shade and went back in for the ice. Jason and Nate were talking to Wes when he got back out.

"He's right set on taking all the mystery out of growing old together," Damien sighed, making the jokes mostly for Nate and Jason's benefit. He didn't really want them to know just how much the events had hurt him. He couldn't imagine how things would be if he and Wes weren't able to fly anymore, or if Ladon had actually managed to kill one of them.

With just the right amount of fussing, he got the ice situated around Wes' knees and then flopped down in his own chair. "So what's the plan then?"

"I think I might go lay down again soon," Jason admitted. "My head is still killing me, even though Carson gave me one of those headache horse pills that Radek sometimes has to take for migraines."

"I'll probably join him," Nate said and Damien bit back a comment about not fucking the concussed man too hard.

"We have that behind the scenes thing tonight," Jason mentioned. "I thought we'd invite Jimmy and his parents to stay for a cookout, if that's okay with you guys."

"Who's Jimmy?" Wes asked. He was still talking normally, but the space between his words was just half a second too long, so Damien knew the pills were starting to kick in.

"Jimmy's the kid who saw Ladon doing stuff to the net before practice," Nate answered. "He's a real good kid."

Jason nodded and stood up, swaying slightly on his feet. Nate was up and steadying him so fast Damien almost missed it. "Come on, Jas, let's get you laying down."

"Cookout sounds good," D called as they walked away.

Finally, he and Wes were alone for the first time since the practice. Damien levered himself out of his seat and carefully straddled Wes' lap. "God damn it," he sighed, resting his head on Wes' shoulder.

Wes' arms moved up around Damien's hips and held him close. "He won't get anyone ever again," Wes said, stroking D's lower back with slightly clumsy fingers.

"I know but... Jeez Wes, this coulda been bad."

"I know, but it wasn't, we're both going to be fine, we'll keep flying together, and this time tomorrow, Ladon will just be an unhappy memory."

"I was so scared," Damien admitted, pressing his eyes against Wes's neck. "More fer you than me. The way yeh shouted when yeh caught me... Damn, Wes, I just knew yeh were done. I can't imagine flyin’ without you."

"You won't even have to, babe. I'm not going anywhere. And you know, even of that catch had broken my knees and ended my career, I wouldn't regret it. I'll always catch you, D, no matter the situation."

Damien sat up at that and looked straight into his lover’s eyes. "You always have. I love you, Wes."

Wes' big hands cupped Damien's face and pulled him in until their lips were barely touching. "And you catch me," Wes whispered before kissing Damien deeply.

Damien melted into the kiss, letting all of his fears and worries wash out of him.

When the kiss ended, Damien rested his head back on Wes' shoulder and closed his eyes. His face pressed to Wes' neck, all he could smell was his lover, and he never wanted to move.

They stayed like that until D finally became aware that someone had sat down in the next chair. Opening his eyes and turning his head, he came face to face with Allie. "Hey, Sunbird," he smiled at her. "Come here, there's room next to yer da."

Allie carefully climbed into the chair, positioning herself on the seat next to Wes and slightly squashed by Damien's leg, but none of them cared as she snuggled into them. "Laura's gonna tranqulate Ladon tonight," Allie said, and D didn't bother to correct her mispronunciation. "She's worried he'll make noise while the behind the scenes people are here."

Damien nodded, "That's a good idea," he said and wrapped an arm around Allie, bringing her into the hug fully.

He'd been surprised that there hadn't been more emotional fallout from her the night before, but he supposed it was cut off by the fact that she'd been in on every step of their checkups. She'd admitted at the hospital just how scared she'd been when she saw what was happening. With a boat load of reassurances from Wes, Damien, Carson, John and the hospital doctors, she knew both her dads were going to be fine.

The family hug lasted until Wes' head lolled to the side and he started snoring softly.

Damien snickered. "Hop up, sunbird, your da's gonna wake up with a stiff neck if we don't lean his chair back."

Getting up carefully, although he doubted he'd wake Wes, Damien went behind the chair and repositioned the back into a more reclined position, then got fresh ice for Wes' knees.

oOo

Jason woke to find the sun streaming in from the windows on the opposite side of the trailer. He glanced at the clock and found it was about two in the afternoon. His head wasn't throbbing so much, which was a huge relief.

Shifting a little, he looked down at the man who was curled around him like an overprotective octopus. Nate was frowning softly in his sleep, and Jason smiled softly and stroked Nate's back. "Hey," he whispered, "we've slept most of the day away."

"Mmm," Nate grumbled and rolled over onto his back, scrubbing at his face with the heels of his hands. "Time 's'it?"

"Two pm. The behind the scenes tour starts at five, and although Damien's cooking out tonight, I'm starving. Let's go to the mess tent and see what we can scrounge up."

"Sounds like a plan," Nate confirmed and sat up.

Jason sat up as well, stretching and popping his back as he did so. Nate watched him with a fond look. "Your head feeling better?"

"Much better," Jason smiled and leaned against Nate, his bare shoulder to Nate's chest. The contact was still new enough to send shivers down Jason's spine; he loved feeling that close to someone.

Nate kissed the bruise on Jason's head and slid a hand down his side. "I love you."

"I love you too," Jason grinned goofily at him, but then his stomach growled and Jason chuckled. "Right, yes, getting up."

The mess tent was full when they got there and nearly every person wanted to check for themselves that Jason was okay. Clearly, word had gotten around.

Jason sighed and made his way along the food line. He had always known that everyone cared about him, but his heart swelled with every pat on his shoulders or back. He also loved and appreciated seeing just how much Nate had been accepted into the family. Several people grabbed Nate, hugging him tightly and thanking him for keeping Jason safe.

As much as Jason loved the attention, he couldn't wait to get out of the mess tent and get back to Wes and Damien. That was where he was most comfortable, not to mention, he was looking forward to a drugged up Wes. He had a feeling tonight would be full of laughs.

They found a place to sit down and Jason happily scooped up a forkful of eggs. He'd just gotten the bite in his mouth when John and Rodney sat down across from them. "I wanted to talk about practice," Rodney said without preamble.

Jason chewed and swallowed, nodding. "Okay, I should be good for it in a few days, according to Carson. Was the net reparable?"

"I've ordered a new one just to be safe. As it stands we can set the one we have up in its released position and continue practice until the new one gets here," Rodney paused and took a drink of his coffee. "What are you going to do about your choreography? Wes isn't going to be able to perform at all."

Jason groaned. "I hadn't even thought about that yet. I guess you guys should come back to the trailers with us and we'll get the troupe together and discuss it."

Rodney nodded and shoveled a bite of his omelet into his mouth. "Sounds good. John and I will discuss it with you, but we're going to leave the actual decision making to you and the others."

"I've already offered to catch," Nate said, eating some salad. "I can catch Damien, the girls, anyone."

"We can't forget about the behind the scenes tour tonight," Jason said. "We can talk about it a little bit tonight, but we should use the whole day tomorrow to figure out what to do."

"Damn, I forgot about the behind the scenes," John said. "We're going to need some help getting Ladon's cage into the traveling container so he'll be out of sight. I don't want anyone seeing him and getting any wrong ideas."

"I'll help," Ronon leaned in from the next table.

Nate nodded, smirking. "Me too."

"So, now that that's settled," Jason chuckled, "Wes is on pain meds, and I wanna be there for the hilarity."

John laughed and Rodney rolled his eyes, but he nodded. "We'll talk tomorrow about the trapeze."

Jason nodded and then they all fell into a comfortable silence as they ate.

Jason followed along after Ronon and Nate when they went to stow Ladon's cage. He went mostly so see the damage Nate had done, but he also wanted to make sure Ladon saw him. He wanted Ladon to know that he wasn't in control anymore, Jason was his own man again, and he'd chosen to be with Nate.

He almost gasped when he saw the man. His left eye was swollen shut, his lower lip was puffy and crusty with dried blood, and his nose was obviously broken. He looked like an extra out of a Rocky movie, and Jason made himself stop looking, told himself he didn't feel one shred of sorrow for him.

Jason couldn't help but watch as Ronon, Nate and John were none too gentle as they loaded Ladon into the animal’s travel container.

He and Nate walked with their arms around one another ad they made their way toward Damien and Wes' trailer. Jason tried not to think about it, but Ladon's appearance was branded in his brain or something, and no, he didn't even like the man anymore, but he couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "Why didn't Carson see to him at all?" he couldn't help saying as they walked.

Nate glanced at him. "Carson was a little preoccupied with you and my knuckles," he replied. "Why?"

"I'm just surprised is all," Jason sighed, trying to let it go. It wasn't like Ladon was feeling anything right now anyway, as doped up as he was on tranquillizers.

Nate looked at him for another moment, his pace slowing down, and Jason couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Nate's face was a mixture of confusion and hurt, and Jason hoped Nate didn't think he was mad at him for having beaten Ladon up.

He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if Nate hadn't been there. He'd likely be dead in a ditch somewhere along one of the back roads of this town. Finally, Nate looked ahead again and his walking sped back up.

"Nate," Jason said, stopping, he reached out to grab Nate's wrist, turning him to face Jason.

Nate didn't say anything, but his face held its usual expression again.

"I'm not upset at you for... Beating him, and I don't have feelings for him anymore," it wasn't a lie; he just hoped Nate believed him. "It's just that, Carson's a doctor and Ladon is pretty bad off. I don't understand why he didn't at least give him a cursory once over."

Nate sighed and closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them the hurt look was back. "He tried to kill one of us, Jason," Nate said softly. "And if Radek hadn't seen that someone had tampered with the net, and if that boy hadn't seen someone doing something he thought was out of place, he'd try it again. Maybe the next time Wes wouldn't have been in position to catch Damien, or maybe Katie would have missed her bar, or maybe I'd fuck up the timing and release too soon to be caught. Maybe you..." his voice caught and he turned away, clearing his throat. "I don't feel one bit sorry for him, Jason. He got what he deserved, and I'm not mad at Carson for taking care of you over a murderer."

Jason pulled Nate to him and wrapped his arms around him. "Okay," he agreed. "I know he deserved even more than what he got. I just... I hate to see people suffer I guess."

"Some people deserve to suffer, Jason," Nate said, his arms tight around Jason's waist. "He's not going to suffer enough."

"Oi, yeh two gonna make it over here er what?" Damien called, and Jason looked up to see him standing in front of his grill.

With a sigh, Jason nuzzled Nate's neck and then let him go. His head was hurting a little again and he wanted to sit down for a while. "We're coming, D," he replied.

oOo

Nate kept his eyes on Jason as the day wore on. It seemed like he still wasn't feeling himself, and Nate wanted to be ready to get him into the trailer if he needed it.

The behind the scenes tour was going to start soon. David had called D a bit ago to let him know that the original winners had shown up already. Jimmy and his family weren't there yet, but Nate had no doubt they would be soon. Jimmy seemed to idolize Jason a little yesterday.

"What're we having tonight, D?" he asked, if only to get himself out of his own head.

"I figured a more normal fare," Damien answered. "Hot dogs; kosher, regular, and veggie. Burgers; regular and veggie. Rodney sent Jess out fer chips an stuff."

Allie came out of the trailer dressed in a pretty red and gold dress. Wes whistled and she laughed, twirling around. Her feet were bare and kicking up the loose dirt and dead grass. "Jess made it for me," she grinned.

"Show time," Nate said, nodding toward the small group of people following behind John and Rodney.

"Oh good!" Allie exclaimed. "I'm starving."

Wes chuckled and tipped his head toward Allie. "Alison Ferrah Sevoir, what have your father and I told you about eating people!"

"It'ssssss.....bad?" Allie laughed.

Wes saluted her, his attention back on the approaching crowd. "Welcome to the fine dining portion of your evening, boys and girls!" he greeted.

Rodney shot Wes a Look before directing people into the lawn chairs scattered around the side of the double wide. A little boy broke away from his parents and came hesitantly toward Wes. Nate recognized him as Jimmy when he got close.

Jimmy stopped in front of Wes and he looked up at him shyly. "I'm glad you're going to be okay."

Wes chuckled, "I'm fiiiiiine," he said, waving a hand in front of himself in a long arc.

"Wes is feelin' goofy tonight," Damien said, arching an eyebrow toward the adults, who all chuckled and nodded.

Nate smiled and got out of his chair. "You all probably know, but this is Wes and Damien. Teyla and Katie should be along soon, and this little princess is Wes and Damien's daughter, Alison."

"Who absolutely does not eat people," Wes said, chuckling.

"She swings on the silky ropes," Jimmy exclaimed proudly.

"Allie, yeh got a fan," Damien laughed.

Allie grinned at Jimmy. "Wanna see something cool?"

Jimmy nodded eagerly and Allie led the way to the rear of the trailer, where a jungle gym was set up. "It's got a trapeze and everything," Allie told him. "My dads put it together at every stop."

"Can I play on it?" Jimmy asked excitedly.

"Of course! You guys can too," she added, beckoning the other three kids in the group over.

"Don play too hard," Damien reminded them. "Yer gonna be eatin soon."

Jess, Katie, and Teyla arrived then, Jess carrying bags of chips and snacks while the other two women carried over a long table. "Refreshments?" Jess offered, setting everything out once the table was down.

"Wow," one of their guests said. "I thought this was just going to be a quick walk through to see the animals and trailers."

"No way," Nate replied, clapping his hands as he got out o his chair. "With Damien, everything is a reason to barbecue!"

"Not to mention," Jason added, "Rodney's circus of amazing wonders and feats is a one of a kind operation. We don't do things the way other circuses do."

"Nope, we do it better!" Wes cheered.

"Wes," Damien warned, pointing a finger at his lover.

"What?" Wes asked, pushing out his lower lip. "I wasn't going to say anything bad."

Nate chuckled and looked at Rodney and John, "Jason and I have been sitting out here for almost two hours, We've learned that Wes' filter is a little gummed up with pain meds. Don't worry though, Damien found a threat that seems to work very well."

John laughed and shook his head, "I'll bet he did."

"To be honest though," Jason chuckled, "it is going to be a little like a walk through, but we like to start here with food and socializing. Then it's on around the circle to see the others."

"We'll be here durin’ the whole thing if yeh er the kids get peckish again," Damien added.

"When I grow up, I wanna be in a circus. Or be a detective," Nate heard Jimmy telling Allie. "Ooh or maybe a circus detective!"

"There's no such thing," Allie laughed.

Nate glanced over to see Jimmy pouting a little. "Maybe I'll invent it!"

"Oi, time ta eat, children," Damien called. He placed plates of dogs and burgers on the table next to buns and fixings.

Nate chuckled as the children rushed past him and over to the food. Having eaten recently, he was perfectly okay letting the guests and everyone else fill their plates first.

"Yeh hungry, Wes?" Damien asked from his place beside the grill.

"Starving," Wes replied and sat up as if he were going to stand.

"Wesley Thomas Ferreh, lean yer lanky ass self back in that chair," Damien commanded. "I'll bring it to yeh."

"But you don't know what I want," Wes pouted.

"Wes," Nate started with a chuckle. "You and Damien have been together for a million and a half years, trust me, he knows what you want."

Wes grinned, a truly lecherous grin if Nate had ever seen one.

"Wes!" Damien warned again.

"What? I was only going to comment on how old we must be."

"Of course you were," Jason laughed, moving toward Nate with a plate of food.

The food seemed to go over quite well with their guests, who asked about a million questions while they were eating. Some of the questions Nate thought were truly stupid, but Jason and Damien and the others handled it all like old pros.

Finally, Jess got up and called everyone together. "Time to move on if you want to see everything," she said when a couple of the kids groaned.

"Don't worry, if there's time you guys can come back and play," Allie assured them.

"You're not coming with us?" Jimmy asked sadly.

Allie hesitated and glanced at her fathers. "Dad?"

"Go have fun, Sunbird. I bet you give an even better tour than Jess," Damien chuckled.

Allie grinned and grabbed Jimmy's hand. "Come on, let's go!"

"It's nice to see her with a friend her age," Damien said as the tour group walked away.

"Yeah, one of the draw backs to being in a circus without many kids," Nate replied. He knew all too well how lonely it could be. Of course, Pegasus Circus had plenty of kids in it, so he didn't know what it was like to have no one his age, but he'd never had the chance to make new friends.

"I'm sure she isn't missing much," Jason commented. "Her life here is so much more fun than regular life."

"Speaking of regular life," Damien said and looked over at Laura. "Summer break's almost over. Time for her to start hittin' the books again soon."

"I'll remind Rodney to make out a curriculum for the year," Laura said and stuffed the last bite of her hotdog into her mouth.

"So, what now?" Nate asked after the area fell silent. Wes was beginning to look like he was about to pass out again. "Looks like Wes is about ready for bed."

"No m'not!" Wes argued, lifting his chin off his chest quickly. "M'not tired."

"Rodney and John want to get the troupe together and talk about choreography tomorrow," Jason remembered to tell everyone.

"Send me a text when he gets here then," Katie replied. "Though we should probably think about that tonight. Damien, will you be good for performing?"

"I think so," Damien shrugged. "Wes was able to control my fall pretty well. Carson will probably give me the Look, but I bet I can catch. With Wes out, I won't be flying."

"I'll catch too," Nate said. "I'll catch Jason, Damien, with your shoulder being hurt, I think it'd be best if you catch the girls."

"Yeh, no argument here," Damien replied.

"We should talk John in to flying," Wes said from his seat.

"Now I know you're high as a kite," Jason joked. "You know John isn't going to get up there."

"It's not a bad idea actually," Nate commented. "We're looking at a pretty boring show with just the five of us. Maybe we can talk him in to flying with us in practice to clear out the cobwebs, and get him on the stationary bar for the performance."

"We can try," Jason sighed, "But I don't think he'll do it."

"'e misses it," Damien said. "I can tell by the way he watches the tapes."

"Once you fly you always miss it when you're grounded," Wes said softly. "I miss it already."

"You'll fly again, mate," Damien told him, "Don't get discouraged." He got up and went inside, returning a moment later with fresh ice packs for Wes' knees.

"What about that juggling routine we talked about last year?" Katie mused quietly.

Jason started to shake his head but stopped, thinking. Nate watched him; he could almost see the wheels turning. "I don't know if D's shoulder would be up to that right now. That would be a routine that we'd have to prepare for pretty hard and for much longer than we have."

"I do not think we should change the routine too much," Teyla spoke. "We don't have the time to practice a wildly different routine anyway."

"That's true," Nate nodded. "Some things will have to change though, since I'm catching, not flying, and D's catching. Also, assuming we don't have a stationary bar, that'll change a few things too."

"We'll play with it tomorrow," Jason sighed, pulling out his phone. "I'll text John and tell him to just meet us all in the Big Top tomorrow. I think it'll be easier to figure out if we're all there and can try things."

The afternoon wore on, finding Jimmy and Allie back on the play set. The other tour members had already left, but Rodney had invited Jimmy's family to stay a little longer.

Once the sun set, and Damien had Wes inside and in bed, Nate and Jason went to their trailer as well.

"The tour went well," Nate said as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"It did," Jason agreed. "This one was a little different than any of the others have been."

Nate looked over at Jason, he'd been acting a little off all day, and Nate wondered if it was because of the head wound or Ladon.

"I can go tell Carson to check him over if it'll make you feel better," he said finally.

Jason paused, his own shirt half raised, and thought about it. Finally he sighed and pulled his shirt the rest of the way off. "I'd be more surprised if he hasn't already looked at him to be honest. Carson is a healer first, and he can't stand to see people in pain."

"He hasn't said anything," Nate pointed out. He still wasn't sure if he should get into bed yet or not.

Jason smiled softly and went into the bathroom, returning a moment later with his sleeping pills and a pain pill. "Why would he?" he asked as he went to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water. He handed one to Nate before opening his bottle and taking his pills. "He knows we don't want to hear about Ladon. He probably also knows that I'm going to eventually be overrun by curiosity and ask, but most of all, he'd just want to make sure or himself that he isn't suffering."

"Yeah," Nate replied, sitting on the couch and opening his bottle. He didn't feel guilty about beating the shit out of Ladon. The man tried to kill one of his troupe mates and kidnap his boyfriend, he gave Ladon exactly what he deserved. Jason had been quiet since he'd seen Ladon though, and Nate couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. If Nate had to do it over, he'd do the same thing, but it seemed like Jason was upset about the outcome of the situation. Damien and Wes had both told Nate that Jason and Ladon had a pattern; they'd break up, cool off and then get back together. Nate hoped that wasn't where Jason's thoughts and feelings were headed.

Jason kicked off his pants, left his boxers on and joined Nate on the couch. He curled his legs up and leaning heavily against Nate. "Hey," Jason spoke softly, "I'm glad you did it. I don't regret anything, except for going over there alone. I just hate seeing any person or animal in pain. Honestly, I never should have gone with you when you guys went to move him. I knew it would probably disturb me, but I went anyway because I wanted him to see that he'd lost. I wanted him to see that I wasn't under his control anymore and that I chose to be with you," Jason sighed and picked up Nate's hand, rubbing the knuckles absently. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Nate sighed, "I know," he said softly. He was reassured by Jason's words. "I don't like anything to suffer either, and what I did to him was unexpected. Like I said before, when I saw you, I just lost control. I'm happy here, happy with you. Happier than I can remember being in a very long time, and it would have been unbelievably easy for Ladon to take that from me. From us, the troupe as a whole. If Damien had died, Wes wouldn't have kept performing, and if Ladon had taken you away, I would be gone too." He wrapped his arm around Jason's shoulders. He was amazed at how quickly he'd gotten comfortable in their relationship, how quickly it'd become so important to him.

"I know our relationship is new," he said after a moment. "But I already don't want to imagine life without you. You're very important to me, Jason, and if I had to do something like that again to keep you safe, I'd do it. Without hesitation."

Jason turned to look at Nate; their faces so close their noses almost touched. "I know," Jason whispered before tilting his head and kissing Nate deeply. "Come on," Jason finally whispered against Nate's lips. "Bed?"

"Yeah," Nate whispered back, happy to have the situation and its confusion behind them.

Jason led them to his bed, crawling under the blankets and scooting over toward the wall. He turned around and watched Nate with dark eyes as he made his own way into bed. They curled around each other, Jason latching onto him like an octopus.

"I love this," Jason murmured, setting his head on Nate's shoulder. "I love that we can just be here together."

"Me too," Nate replied, planting a soft kiss on Jason's mouth and pressing forward just a bit with his hips. It wasn't an urgent, needy motion, but a way to convey to Jason that Nate was ready and willing if the mood took Jason.

Jason groaned softly and slid his hands down Nate's back, one pausing to stroke Nate's spine while the other moved down Nate's ass. Nate groaned and pulled Jason closer, something he didn't even know was tight, loosened a bit. He leaned forward, pressing his mouth to Jason's, tasting him, taking him in and savoring every touch. His mind wouldn't let go of the fact that this was almost ripped away from him, that if he'd been a minute later, this wouldn't be happening.

He pressed against Jason harder, bordering on painful. "I want you," he whispered harshly, "Now. I want to prove to myself that you're still here, that you're mine."

Jason kissed him again before sprawling back on the bed and pulling Nate on top of him. "Whatever you want, Nate," he whispered, arching into Nate when their erections met.

Nate sighed and pressed against Jason. "I love you," he breathed a second before pushing his mouth against Jason's.

Jason kissed back, his hands busy pushing down first Nate's boxers and then his own, wiggling a bit to get his over his butt. The next thing Nate knew, Jason's hand was around both of their cocks, rubbing them. "God," Jason moaned, breaking the kiss. "I love feeling you against me."

"I want you," Nate said desperately, crushing Jason's mouth in another needy kiss. "I need you, right now. I want to fuck you, Jason. Tell me I can."

"Okay," Jason sighed, pulling his hand from between them. "The lube's behind you."

Nate smirked as he rolled to get it. "I know."

"Yeah," Jason replied. When Nate turned back, he found Jason smiling fondly at him as he slowly stroked his own cock.

"Don't waste that on yourself," Nate said as he squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his palm and slathered it onto his fingers.

He spread Jason's legs apart and kissed his stomach as he settled himself between Jason's legs. Pressing a finger into Jason's ass, Nate sighed and rested his head on Jason's stomach, kissing his belly. Jason moaned and arched his back, forcing Nate's finger further into his ass. Nate took the hint and added another finger, searching for the place that would bring Jason the most pleasure.

"I love you so much," Nate admitted, kissing Jason's belly again before pressing a third finger in.

"Fuck, god," Jason exclaimed, shoving himself down as much as he could on Nate's fingers. "I love you too," he panted.

Nate huffed a laugh against Jason's lower belly and added a third finger, stroking over Jason's prostate again. "You always make the best sounds."

Jason's erection was nudging against Nate's chin, but he ignored it, opting to move to the side enough to nibble at Jason's hip.

They'd only had actual sex once before, but Nate already had his favorite parts of Jason's body. The sensitized flesh of Jason's burned shoulder was one, the soft velvety feel of Jason's balls were another. He loved Jason's belly button and how responsive he was when Nate lavished attention on it. Which was where he was now, pushing his tongue into Jason's belly button and he pressed three fingers into Jason's ass, grazing his prostate with every other thrust.

Finally, Nate pulled his fingers out, squeezed more lube onto his hand and smeared it onto his cock. He took a deep breath as he lined his dick up with Jason's entrance. "Tell me you want this, Jason," he said, his voice harsh and broken.

Jason looked up at him for a moment, and then deftly rolled them both over. "I do want this," Jason whispered. "I want you, Nate."

Nate watched with wide eyes as Jason straddled his hips and reached back, grasping Nate's cock. His hand felt amazing, but then he was nudging against Jason's hole and that felt even better. Jason sat back, taking Nate's cock all the way in.

Nate closed his eyes and arched his back as Jason sank down onto him. This was going to be one of those moments they looked back on when they were ninety years old. One of the good memories, one of the ones that started it all.

Jason moaned as he sat down completely, bringing Nate back to the present. He opened his eyes, looked up at Jason and sank his fingertips into Jason's hips. The look on Jason's face as he began to move, sliding slowly up and down Nate's dick, told Nate everything he'd needed to know. His insecurities were pointless, his jealousy stupid. Jason's face was open, his emotions easily visible, and Nate could see the love as much as he felt it.

"Jason," he whispered and carefully sat up, wrapping his arms around Jason's waist.

Jason's arms were wrapped around Nate's shoulders, their foreheads resting against each other as their bodies shifted.

"I love you," Nate whispered, pulling Jason's hips just a bit closer.

Jason gasped and shouted when Nate grazed his prostate, "I love you too," he said, his voice shaking. "Only you, Nate, only you."

"Oh Jesus," Nate grunted and gripped Jason's hips, thrusting his hips faster.

Jason moaned and closed his eyes, his head falling back as he raised and lowered himself harder on Nate. "Fuck, I'm gonna come," he whispered, voice cracking. He released one hand from Nate's shoulder and reached down to grip his own cock. After just a couple rough jerks, Nate felt Jason tighten around him and then there was slick heat between them as Jason came with a groan.

Nate groaned as Jason clamped down on his dick. "Ah, Jason," he groaned and thrust up harder.

"Fuck," he sighed as he came, pulling Jason even closer. Once the fierceness of his orgasm passed, Nate took a shaky breath and leaned into Jason, resting his head on Jason's shoulder.

After a moment of sitting there just holding one another and catching their breaths, Nate carefully lifted Jason off of him and laid down beside him. "I'm sorry," he said softly. He wasn't even completely sure what he was apologizing for, beating up Ladon? Being so jealous over Jason's reaction to seeing him? Allowing the man he never trusted to do something as horrible as attempting to kill one o them? He felt guilty over all of that, even though he had no control over some of it. He rolled onto his side and pulled Jason close, relief washing over him. Jason was there, with him, and safe.

oOo

Damien already had Wes in his chair and breakfast going by the time the others came out of their trailers. "Mornin!" he called as Jason shuffled blearily to a chair. "Where's Stacks?"

"Shower," Jason replied, snatching a sausage off the plate Damien was putting the cooked ones on before settling down near Wes.

Jason only looked half awake so Damien left him to his munching. He'd just gotten the rest of the sausage off the heat when Laura came into sight, a peculiar look on her face.

"Good morning," she said as she sat down, the expression on her face not changing in the least.

"What's the look for?" Damien asked, putting the sausage plate in the table and setting a screen dome over it.

Laura looked up and at the same moment Jason's trailer door opened and Nate came over to the group. "Nate, did you go see Ladon last night?" she asked.

"No," Nate replied, taking the chair beside Jason.

"Are you sure?"

"He was with me all night, Laura," Jason told her firmly. "What's this about?"

"I don't know," she shook her head. "Maybe Carson took him to the hospital."

"He's gone?" Nate asked.

It took all of Damien's will not to glance at Wes. He'd been pretty sure what his lover’s phone call had been about yesterday and this just confirmed it. "Want me to text Carson?" he asked.

"Has anyone told John and Rodney yet?" Jason questioned right after him.

Laura shook her head. "I came right here once I saw he was gone."

"To check on me," Nate said quietly.

"Don't take offense, Nate," Laura said sweetly. "It's just that-"

"I was the one who beat the hell out of him. I don't blame you though, it's the logical thing to do."

Laura sighed, "What I was going to say, if you'd have let me finish, was that you were the one that nearly lost the most."

"Hey," Wes slurred, "I almost lost Damien. I'd have been right there beside Nate kicking Ladon's teeth down his throat if I'd have been able to walk."

Laura sighed again and shook her head, "Look guys, I'm sorry. I know you all almost lost something important that day, and it was Ladon that tried to take it. I just wanted to check here first."

"No worries, Laura," Damien said when he'd decided the conversation had gone on long enough. "You were right to come here first, but none of us did anything to him."

"We need to call John and Rodney," Jason said after a moment. "If Ladon got loose somehow, I don't know what he'd try next. I think he may have lost it, I don't know if he'd run away or if he'd stick around and try to finish the job."

Damien glanced at Wes, who just shrugged. "So call Rodney, or go over and see him," Wes suggested. "Personally, I doubt we'll see him again; he knows what we're willing to do now, or at least has had a taste of it."

Just before Damien could suggest that going to see Rodney might be the better idea, Rodney and John joined them.

"So," Rodney said, looking directly at Wes. "I just had an interesting call from Carson. He went to check on Ladon and he appears to be missing."

"Yeah, Laura was just tellin' us that," Damien said innocently. "That's weird."

"Uh huh," Rodney said with a raised eyebrow. "I thought those things were over with."

"Extenuating circumstances," Wes said. Obviously his pain medication hadn't kicked in yet.

"Right, well no more," Rodney told them firmly.

"Aye cap'n," Damien said with a sloppy salute.

Rodney sighed and shook his head, but he must have been satisfied because he and John left.

"What was that about?" Nate asked, looking between Damien and Wes.

Damien shook his head. "It's just this...thing."

"You disappeared him," Jason said softly, looking at Wes.

Damien shifted uncomfortably, not sure how Jason would take the news. Jason knew of Wes' reputation of course, so D wasn't all that surprised that he'd figured it out. Jason and Ladon had been off and on for so long though, and Jason had such a heart that this had the potential to be hard on him.

Wes looked at Jason for a long moment before nodding. "Wasn't much else to do."

Nate glanced at Jason worriedly, but Jason kept his eyes on Wes. Finally, Jason nodded. "You're right," he looked down at his clasped hands for a moment before standing up. "Rodney's going to want us all in the big top in a bit to go over the changes to our program. I'll meet you there."

"Where are you going?" Nate asked.

Jason turned and kissed him. "Shower and meds. I'm okay, Nate, don't worry."

Nate sighed and kept watching Jason until he was inside the trailer.

"Rough," Damien said softly, finally sitting down to a plate of food.

"You did the right thing, Wes," Nate said.

Damien looked at him. The man looked confused, maybe a little lost too. He was staring at his clasped hands as he continued speaking.

"I just hope Jason is really okay."

"He said he was okay, mate," Damien tried to reassure him.

"You guys have known him longer than me, he didn't really seem all that okay when he left a minute ago. Maybe it'll take him a little while to actually be okay, but... He's so..." he sighed and shook his head.

"Sensitive," Wes supplied. "He cares about people, maybe a little more than he should. But that's what makes him Jason."

"Did yeh take yer meds, Wes?" Damien asked, not really trying to change the subject, but needing to know. "Yeh seem awfully lucid today."

Wes laughed and now that Damien was really looking at him, he noticed the slight grimace with each movement. "I'm tired of being an idiotic zombie," Wes told him.

"So yeh suffer, fuckin' moron." He hurried inside and brought out the bottle. "I'm not going to sit here and watch yeh be in pain."

"You won't have to," Wes said. "You'll be at practice, up too high to see my face."

Damien turned around and glared at Nate when he started laughing.

"What?" he and Wes asked together.

"You kind of remind me of my parents."

"Let's not ever let them meet then," Allie laughed as she skipped over. Damien hadn't even noticed her come back to their trailers.

"Aw, yeh don't want us makin' new friends, Sunbird?" Damien grinned as he watched his daughter gather food onto a paper plate.

"It's just weird," Allie said as she stuffed a whole sausage link into her mouth. "You shouldn't be like any patents but mine."

"She has a point," Nate laughed.

Damien turned toward Nate, "Shouldn't you go make sure Jason doesn't fall getting out of the shower?"

"Ooh, good idea!" Nate said happily and hurried toward their trailer.

Damien looked at Wes and smiled. "Seriously babe, I don' want yeh hurtin’."

"Once you guys go to the big top I'll take my meds and lay down like a good boy," Wes sighed. "I'm just tired of my brain being gummy when we're around people."

"It's okay," Allie spoke up, giving Wes a hug. "Nobody minds, you know. They just want you to get better."

Wes smiled and kissed her cheek. "I know. You're right, Al. I promise I'll take my meds when you guys head out. I'm okay right now."

Damien knew his lover well enough to know when he was lying, but he decided to let Wes have that one.

"Alright," he said and moved toward Wes. "Then let me get ya inside before we go. Can't have ya further injurin those knees now can I?"

Wes chuckled but allowed Damien to help him out of his seat.

"Jason and I will meet you over there, and we'll take Allie with us," Nate called after them.

"Alright," Damien called back, thankful for the moment alone with Wes. He helped Wes into the trailer and into their bedroom. He put Wes on the bed and settled in beside him, resting his head on Wes' shoulder.

Wes sighed and wrapped his arm around Damien's shoulders. "I don't like you performing without me."

Damien nodded and butted his head under Wes' chin. He wished he could spend the day right there.

"I know you'll be fine, I just don't like it."

"If Ladon hadn't already been taken care of, I'd likely kill ‘im myself. I hate seeing yeh like this."

Wes sighed again. "I know, but I'll be better soon."

Damien nodded again, he knew how much pain Wes was in, he seen it on his face that morning.

After a while, Wes squeezed Damien's shoulder and pushed at him gently. "Get me my pills, you don't want to keep John and Rodney waiting too long."

Damien stayed there for a moment longer before reluctantly pulling away. "Okay," he sighed as he left the bedroom. He grabbed the pill bottle out of the cabinet and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge, taking a moment to breathe before going back into the bedroom.

He couldn't remember the last time he didn't have Wes in the air with him, and although he'd never admit it, it had him a little nervous.

Wes took his pill and then eyed Damien with a soft smile. "It'll be good, D. I trust them and you trust them. Go on."

Damien groaned and nodded. "Alright, alright, 'm going," he leaned down and kissed Wes. "Text Jess if yeh need anything, yeah?"

"I will."

oOo

"You get Wes strapped down and medicated?" Nate asked and Jason glared at him.

Jason knew this was hard on Damien, he knew exactly how much in love the two men were. In all the years Jason had known them, he'd never seen them fight. Sure they had the random momentary squabble just like everyone else did, but they never fought.

"Sorry," Nate said softly and Jason had to inch a little closer to him.

"John and Rodney aren't here yet?" Damien asked, changing the subject.

"We are now," Rodney's voice came from the main tent flap. "Let's get this started."

"We gonna talk to John before we start the practice or after we finish?" Nate asked.

"Talk to me about what?" John asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jason looked from their troupe to the trapeze and then back, considering. "Well, we're a man short without enough time to make up a completely new act," he started, but John was already shaking his head.

"No."

Jason winced and sighed. "John."

"I'm out, Jason. I've been out for a while now. Even if I wanted to, I'm not conditioned for it anymore."

"Why don't we go on up and see what we can make work," Damien suggested, giving Jason a look.

Jason nodded. John would be watching, and it might help him decide once he thought about it and watched them. "Sure. Okay. Damien and Nate, you guys catch? How's your shoulder, D?"

"I'll be good to catch the girls," Damien shrugged. "Doubt I could fly yet."

Jason nodded and headed toward the trapeze. The new net was already delivered, but Rodney had the old net already set up. It was weird walking toward the apparatus and seeing the net just hanging there, visible rather than hidden on the ground. Instinct had him looking around for Lorne before his mind fully latched on to the fact that they didn't need him this time.

Stopping at the bottom of the ladder, Jason looked over and watched Damien and Nate climb up to their platform. Damien was going first and Jason could tell by the way Nate was climbing that he was ready to catch Damien if the need arose.

Jason's chest ached as he climbed up his ladder. It hurt to see Damien in the air without Wes. It was also strange to see Damien on the catchers bar. He switched off as catcher every now and then so it wasn't a new thing, but knowing that he had to catch and couldn't fly hurt Jason in a way he couldn't quite understand. He couldn't imagine having his wings clipped like that. Suddenly, he had a feeling of overwhelming relief that Ladon wouldn't get another chance to hurt them.

"Okay," Jason said once Nate and Damien were on their bars and the girls had joined him. "We're gonna keep this as true to our original plan as possible, though obviously the stationary bar is out, and only one of you can fly at a time to Damien," Jason glanced down at John and Rodney as the girls nodded.

"Ready when you are," Damien called, and Jason looked over at where he and Nate swung.

"Right," Jason smiled and took hold of his bar. It was a very good thing that they all knew their routines backward and forward, not just their own parts. Injuries happened and it wasn't all that uncommon to perform with minor ones. Jason took a deep breath to center himself, then pushed off.

They made it about a quarter of the way through the routine when Jason heard Damien grunt as he caught Teyla. "No, let go, let go," Damien told her, and she did, falling down to the net below. Jason watched Damien curl up to sit on his bar, his hand on his injured shoulder.

"D?" he called.

Damien looked at him with a frown and shook his head. "No going," he sighed.

Jason watched Damien climb down the ladder as he waited for Teyla to get off the net. Once the net was empty, Jason jumped down.

"What happened?" Rodney was asking as Jason flipped over the edge of the net. He didn't sound angry.

Damien shrugged, "It was fine at first, a little tight, but not bad. The more times I caught, the more it started hurting. When I caught Teyla, it was just more than I could handle. I had to drop her."

"You did not drop me, Damien," Teyla protested. "You held onto me long enough to let me know you could not support my weight."

"Yeah, but still, all it means is that I can't catch."

Jason looked around and noticed that the others had joined them while Damien explained what happened.

"We can't do the routine with four," Katie sighed.

Jason knew she was right and looked at John. "What do you say?" he asked quietly. "Will you fly again? Nate and I can catch. If Damien's up for it, he can be on the stationary...oh that won't work. He'd still have to catch and throw up there; we can't leave someone else up there for the whole show."

John shifted uncomfortably. "I'm out of practice," he warned.

Damien clapped him on the shoulder. "Yer brilliant, mate. It'll come back to yeh. As fer the bar, I'll be back. I have an idea. Get practicing," he grinned at them all and headed for the exit.

Jason could tell by the look on John's face that he was worried. He'd hoped that his suggestion of him and Nate being the catchers would alleviate some of his apprehension, but it didn't seem to be.

"John, let's talk for a second," Rodney said and lead John away by the wrist.

"I didn't realize how scared he was to go back up," Jason said softly.

"It's a scary thing to be responsible for someone's well being, especially after you mess it up," Nate replied, wrapping an arm lightly around Jason's shoulders. "It's just as scary to go back up when you're the one that fell."

"You've never seemed scared," Jason pointed out.

"The trapeze is all I've ever known, I was born into it, and it'll probably be the thing that ends me. The thought of never flying again was what terrified me."

Jason was about to turn toward Nate and pull him into a hug. The tone his lover had just used, along with mentioning the end of him, broke Jason's heart a little. Before he could move though, John and Rodney were coming back over.

"Okay," John said, not meeting anyone's eyes for more than a second.

"Okay," Jason repeated. "Nate, if you can catch John, I'll play with the girls," he smiled as he said it, and Katie laughed.

As Nate and Jason headed for the catcher's side, Jason saw Teyla take John's shoulders and bend her forehead to his. They spoke quietly for a moment before they joined Katie at their ladder.

Jason couldn't help but be a little excited; it had been a long time since John flew with them. John had been one of the best and if this performance worked out, Jason thought that it would be a much better ending to John's career.

"You can't be serious," Rodney's voice caught Jason's attention and he turned back around to face them. Damien was approaching with Allie's hand caught in his own.

"Oh," Jason said, taking hold of Nate's wrist and leading him back toward Rodney.

"As a matter of fact, Rodney," Damien said through a smile. "I am."

"She's a little girl, she hasn't been trained on Trapeze," Rodney argued.

"Yeh she has," Damien countered, stopping in front of Rodney. "She's got two trapeze parents, Wes and I woulda been stupid not ta train her. She may not have ever been up there, but we've been tossing ‘er back and forth practically since she's been able to hold ‘er head up."

"I don't know," Rodney said.

"She wouldn't be flying," Jason said, knowing exactly where Damien was going with this.

"Yeah, but-" Rodney began.

"She does the silk, Rodney," Nate said, "and that doesn't even have a hidden net."

"Good point, Stackers," Damien agreed. "Listen, Rodney, the only time She'll be thrown is when she gets tossed up to me, then she and I will be on stationary. It's either this, or have me either lookin like a fool up there alone or not performing at all. Allie's said several times that she wants to be on trapeze when she grows up, let her start easy with this."

Rodney sighed deeply but didn't take his eyes off Damien. "Well, I suppose you are her consenting parent."

"Excellent!" Damien exclaimed and let go of Allie's hand. "You go up with Nate and Jason, Sunbird," he told his daughter, "Then Nate'll toss you to me."

"Okay daddy," Allie replied and slipped her hand into Nate's.

Jason patted her shoulder as they walked back to the ladder. "Excited?"

Allie grinned up at him. "Oh yeah!"

Once Damien had gotten himself on the stationary bar and everyone else was in position, Jason signaled them to begin. He could see Allie trying very hard to listen to Nate's last minute instructions, but Jason knew it was difficult. The silk might not have a net and might require the same precision as the trapeze, but the trapeze was also faster paced. It also had the human element, Jason thought as he watched Nate toss Allie. She did as instructed, curling into a ball as she tumbled upwards. She didn't straighten out until it was nearly too late, but she finally got her arms up just on time for Damien to catch her. Jason smiled, made a mental note to work out when exactly they'd toss her to D in the show, and then focused on his own catching.

He knew things were going to be different and off, firstly because he was catching instead of flying. The addition of John and the subtraction of Damien also put a different spin on the act. This was just practice though, and that meant they'd all take what happened today back to the drawing board and make a workable routine from all the elements.

It was only a few minutes after everyone got into their positions that John joined them. His outfit were the wrong colors, but it still fit from his last performance. Jason decided that that by itself had to make John feel good, and Jess could have him a new one sewn up in a couple hours.

"Ready?" Nate called from beside Jason and the three fliers called back that they were.

Teyla was the first to fly, arching her back gracefully as she straightened out of her tight ball. Their hands met perfectly, creating a beautiful back swing. Jason smiled down at her before arcing forward and tossing her back to her bar.

John was next, Jason saw him standing on the platform, bar in hand, chest heaving as he prepared to take a leap he hadn't made in years.

Jason closed his eyes for just a moment, willing John not to be too stiff, or to release too soon, or to reach for Nate before it was time. When he opened his eyes, John was on the edge of the platform and then he was in the air. The sweet thrill of the old days ran through Jason's veins as he watched John swing forward and back, no doubt refamiliarizing himself with the feel of it.

A moment later, John was curled in on himself, doing a simple forward somersault toward Nate's waiting arms.

The catch was slightly less than perfect, but neither man made a noise of pain, and the grip they had on one another was solid. Jason was glad to see Nate keeping things simple for John at first, tossing him back to his bar without anything fancy.

"Whoo!" John shouted once he was back on his platform. Jason could hear the exhilaration in his voice. "Shit I forgot how much I missed this. A few more simple moves before we do anything good, okay Nate?"

"You do it, I'll catch you, John," Nate called back. "No worries."

John knew their choreography for this act as well as the troupe did, but Jason knew there was going to have to be extra sessions for a bit. He relished the idea. John already looked more alive than he had in a long time and Jason couldn't help but hope that after this John would maybe be willing to alternate in every now and then. Some wounds would never fully heal, but it looked like John was finally reclaiming part of himself again.

oOo

Wes woke from his drug induced nap to the sound of Allie crashing inside the trailer. "I flew! I flew today!"

"What?" Wes levered himself into a sitting position on the bed and blinked at his daughter. Her cheeks were pink and her hair was working itself out of the braid she'd put it in and the girl was practically vibrating.

"I went up on the stationary bar with Dad," she gushed, jumping on the bed next to Wes. "Nate threw me up to him and Dad and I stayed there and twirled and flipped and then at the end he tossed me down to Jason, who flipped me down onto the net. It was soo cool!"

If Wes disliked his knee injuries that morning, he hated them now. He and D had been talking about getting her up there for almost a year now, and he'd missed her first time.

"That's great babe," he said and pulled her down into a hug. "Go get your Da and tell him I'm ready to get out of this bed."

He still felt light headed and foggy as he watched his daughter bounce out of the room. He decided then and there, that he'd be at every practice and performance until he could join them. Even if he had to watch from a drug induced brain cloud, he wouldn't miss his little girl on the trapeze again.

As he waited for Damien, Wes tried to figure out what was bothering him about what Allie said. Inwardly he cursed his medication for making his brain slow, but then he caught the problem. The stationary bar. Damien was on the stationary bar with Allie instead of catching.

"Your shoulder's worse than we thought," Wes observed as Damien endeared the trailer. "Stationary bar?"

Damien grimaced. "Yeh," he sighed. "Got part way through catching and had ta quit. Bright side, we got John flyin again."

Wes stared at Damien. "John? He's actually up there?"

Damien grinned. "Yeh, he's back."

Wes decided that if anything good came out of his injury it was that. He remembered all too well how crushed John had been when he'd stopped performing. He'd hidden it well, but Wes was good at reading people.

"How'd he take it?" he asked after a moment.

"'e was nervous at first, but after his first flight... You shoulda seen 'im Wes, he was like a kid. He was more excited than even Allie was. He did a few of his old Sheppard specials, an Nate didn't even miss a beat when ‘e caught 'im."

Just then, John's braying donkey laugh drifted in through the front door and Wes smiled.

"Help me up, yeah?" he asked. "I want to go out and be with you guys."

Damien shoved his arm under Wes' shoulders and helped him out of bed.

"You need to know," Wes grunted as he stood up. "I'm not missing another practice or performance. If I have to strap a drool cup to my chin after I take my meds, I'm gonna be there."

"That's a charming image," Damien chuckled as he helped Wes through the trailer and down the steps. "I poked my head in an tried to wake yeh, but yeh were dead to the world. I'm sorry yeh missed it."

"Just as long as I don't miss any others. I want to see our girl fly," Wes replied, wincing as Damien eased him down into a chair.

"You'll see her, Wessers," Damien promised. He kissed Wes' head before hurrying back inside, probably for a pillow and ice packs, Wes figured.

He looked around to see that the whole troupe was in their yard. Katie, Jason, and Teyla were bent over Jason's performance notebook, the three talking to each other as Jason sketched things on a page. John, Nate, and Allie were horsing around; Allie was currently on Nate's shoulders as John chased them around the grill and towards Allie's play set. Just as John caught the back of Nate's shirt, Allie shrieked a laugh and reached up, grabbing a bar on the play set and swinging herself up on top of it. Nate tumbled to the ground with a happy shout while John grinned up at Allie. "You win this round," he chuckled.

Wes smiled as he watched them all. It really felt like the family was back together again. He could see the differences in John; how he carried himself like he was walking inches above the ground instead of walking on it. It was how John used to look all the time, back when he was a full time member of the Flyers.

"How are you, Wes?" John asked, flopping down in the chair beside him.

"I'm good," Wes replies through a wide smile. "I'd be even better if I coulda seen you and Allie in the air, but the knees are still a bitch to deal with and D keeps shoving those knock out drops down my throat."

"Those 'knock out drops' are for the pain," Damien argued as he came back out. Pillows and ice packs clutched in his arms, just as Wes predicted.

"Yeah, but they're stealing my life away," Wes returned and focused his attention back on John.

The pills still had his head a little fuzzy, but he could clearly see how happy John was. He'd successfully made it over a hurdle today, and none of them knew what the future held, but Wes was willing to bet that they'd have another flyer full time before long.

"We'll be sure ta take yeh an yer drool cup, ice an pillows to the next practice," Damien assured him as he got the pillow in place under Wes' knees. He fussed with the pillow, and then the ice packs until they were in what Damien considered the perfect positions. "There now, yeh sit ‘ere an sulk an watch all the people," Damien smiled and kissed Wes' head again.

"Thanks," Wes sighed, relishing the cold that was seeping into his sore knees. He glanced over at where Jason was still sketching. "What are you working on, Jason?"

Jason glanced up from his book. "Ideas for the next city," he smiled. "Katie's got some good thoughts for if John wants to fly again."

Wes nodded, hoping he'd be able to fly again by then.

"What are you guys planning on doing this time?" he asked. "The routine is good as it is, but you'll have to cut out either Nate or D's part."

"We were thinking about taking a few elements from both," Nate replied as he watched Allie swing around on her play set. "John's watched me enough to know what I do, and he knows D’s parts pretty well."

"All there is to do is practice," John said, "and I did a little of that today. I say a few more days and I'll fit right in."

Wes smiled and reached over to pat John's leg. "You've always fit in perfectly, John. I'm glad you finally got back at it, we've missed you up there."

oOo

Jason watched Damien and Allie for a moment as John set up his flight. Damien and Allie flowed seamlessly over the stationary bar; Allie's movements spoke of the complete trust she had in her father. With a smile, Jason looked back across at Katie. When John flew, Jason was at the end of his backswing. He got to watch the catch out of the corner of his eye as he swung forward. Most of his attention was now on Katie as she flipped herself into the air. She was at the apex of her flight as John and Nate came together. Yeah, Jason thought as Katie flipped towards him, this was all going to work out.

Once they were on the ground again, Jason moved over to stand next to Nate. They were waiting for Rodney, who was currently discussing something with Jack and Daniel, to come over and speak with them. This was their last practice before the circus began and Jason could already feel the excitement in his belly. They'd changed some things to go with the strengths of the troupe's new members and Jason felt confident they had a solid performance cohesion now. Rodney would be the final judge, of course.

Nate slipped his arm around Jason's waist and squeezed. "It'll be great," he assured Jason.

Jason looked at him and smiled, somehow Nate always seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Yeah," he said, voicing his earlier thought, “it will be."

After another moment, Rodney came over and joined them.

"That was great," Rodney said, sliding in to stand beside John. "Tomorrow's a rest day. Do your cook out, don't drink too much and get plenty of rest." He took hold of John's wrist and pulled lightly. "Good job guys," he said as he and John made their way out of the tent.

Jason, Nate, and Damien made their way over to where Wes was sitting, Allie running on ahead. "That was pretty great," Wes told them. "John and Allie have both worked very hard."

Jason nodded happily. "It got Rodney's approval, too."

"Ready to go home?" Damien asked.

"Ready for steak," Wes confirmed.

Nate chuckled and Jason looked over at him. "What's so funny?" he asked casually.

Nate shrugged, "I get the best of all worlds here with you guys."

"What's that mean?" Allie asked as she did her best to help Damien get Wes into the wheel chair he hated so much.

"Well," Nate said and looked at Jason. “It means that I get everything I could possibly want. Equal measures of predictability and spontaneity, and a family I know will hold together through thick and thin." He looked at Jason again, and he could swear he saw a light blush sneak into Nate's cheeks a moment before he added, "There are a few extra perks too."

This time it was Jason's turn to blush. "Let's enjoy the steak, because I'm starving, then you can tell me a little more about those extra perks."

Wes laughed loudly, and looked over his shoulder as Damien started pushing him toward the entrance. "Hey Al, you wanna spend the night with Laura tonight?"

Allie nodded eagerly. "You know I do! We always have so much fun."

"Go run an tell ‘er ta come ta dinner then," Damien directed with a grin, and Allie took off, still in her flyer's uniform; a bright speck of color glittering in the yard lights.

Jason slipped his hand into Nate's as they followed Damien and Wes across the circle. He suddenly felt more at home than he ever had, even though this circus had been his home for years.

Damien left Wes to Nate and Jason as he set about getting the grill set up. Jason was always uncomfortable when it came to dealing with hurt people. He was absolutely sure that he'd make it all worse.

"You okay?" Jason asked as he gently slid a pillow under Wes' knees.

"Yeah," Wes sighed. "It's not hurting as badly as it has been."

"That's good," Nate said as he laid the ice packs on Wes' knees.

"I'll say," Damien agreed from his place at the grill. He was currently dousing the charcoal with lighter fluid. "Yeh know, since ‘e sent Al ta stay with Laura."

Damien waggled his eyebrows at Wes as he capped off the lighter fluid canister and tossed it back toward the trailer. "Fire in the hole!" he called merrily before striking a match and tossing it on the grill.

Jason flinched as the coal lit with a fwoomth of fire. He couldn't help the flinch, had never been able to, but at least this time it didn't bring up the old painful memories. With surprise, Jason wondered why that was. Maybe it had to do with his new feeling of security?

Soon enough, Allie and Laura arrived. Allie dashed into the trailer and then music came pouring out, flooding the air with the happy sounds of Cat Empire. Jason noticed with quiet amusement that Damien's butt bounced a bit as he sang along and laid the steaks on the now hot grill.

As the smell of cooking meat filled the air, others trickled from around the circle. Allie and Torren danced to the music among the talking and laughing adults. Jason had missed this since Ladon came along. He'd barely ever let Jason stay for these parties.

Ladon had still almost managed to take this all away, Jason thought. He watched everyone in the new light of this thought and felt fiercely relieved that Ladon had not only failed, but would never try again. Wes had made sure of that.

Jason pressed closer against Nate's side where they were sitting at the picnic table, relishing the feel of his body so close to Jason's own. Nate glanced at him as he slipped an arm around Jason's waist. "You okay?"

Jason kissed him softly. "More than okay."

Nate smiled and leaned in a little closer. "Good," he said and kissed Jason again.

Jason could feel how loose and relaxed Nate was. He wouldn't say that Nate had been tense up to this point, but there had been something there, as if Nate was always waiting for something to come along that would start picking at the seams of the troupe or the circus as a whole. Now though, it felt like Nate was no longer waiting for that to happen, it felt like he'd decided that this really was the place he needed to be, like he'd finally felt at home.

He smiled at his lover when the kiss broke. It was almost hard to believe that he could actually be this happy.

"I love you," Jason said softly and rested his head on Nate's shoulder.

A moment later two plates were slid in front of them. "Rare an medium well, as ordered," Damien said and winked knowingly at Jason before he turned around.

Jason took the meaning in that wink; he knew that Damien and Wes were happy for him. It felt good to be with someone his family actually liked, someone his best friends could trust.

It wasn't long after dinner that the others trickled away. Soon after that, Damien stood up from his lawn chair and stretched his back. "Well, 's been fun, but I think 's time ta kick you guys out."

Jason laughed and pulled Nate to his feet. "Have fun."

"You too," Damien waggled his eyebrows at them before levering Wes out of his chair.

Jason spared an extra moment to make sure Damien didn't need any help with Wes, and then he continued on his way.

"Hey," Nate said once they were inside his trailer and pulled Jason into his arms. "We're going to be great."

Jason smiled and leaned in to his lover. He'd almost forgotten that this was Nate's first actual performance with the circus. It felt like he'd been there forever. "Yeah," he said and leaned in, capturing Nate's mouth in a firm kiss.

Jason's hands slid up the back of Nate's shirt as the kiss deepened. Nate's skin was warm and smooth and Jason had the urge to just rub himself all over him. With a smile, Jason pulled back from the kiss and pulled off Nate's shirt. "I think its bedtime."

Nate laughed and helped get the shirt off before reaching for Jason's. "Yeah, I think so."

Jason only hesitated a moment before pulling his own shirt over his head. The hesitation was habit, one he was trying hard to break. Nate had proven over and over again that the scars where loved like any other part of Jason. Nate wanted all of him, and Jason wanted to give it. As Nate's hand came into contact with Jason's bared shoulder, his thumb running across the worst of the scarring, Jason remembered the first time they'd had sex. Nate had spent long minutes with the scars, kissing and sucking and rubbing the skin. Jason had never been particularly sensitive there but Nate had pulled pleasure from the ruined flesh.

Nate leaned in for another kiss, and Jason pressed forward, guiding Nate toward the bed. They were closer than Jason had realized and both men fell onto the bed as the backs of Nate's knees hit the mattress.

"That was graceful," Nate joked as he rubbed his mouth.

Jason laughed and did the same; their mouths had bumped together hard as they landed. "Shut up," Jason whispered and soothed both their aching mouths with another soft kiss.

They both still had their pants and shoes on and Jason realized he could have planned that better. He pulled away from the kiss and got his knees firmly on the bed so he straddled Nate's thighs. He bent over, running his tongue over Nate's left nipple while Jason's hands worked on Nate's belt.

Nate groaned, his hands skidding down Jason's sides. "Oh god, yes," Nate sighed, arching his chest into Jason's mouth.

Jason got the buckle undone and then made quick work of the button and zipper as he gave the other nipple some attention. Finally, he sat back and pulled on Nate's pants and boxers until they were down around his thighs. With a smile at Nate, Jason twisted off Nate and stroked his bared cock. "Can I suck you?"

"Mmm," Nate grunted, thrusting up into Jason's hand. "Not yet."

Jason looked down at Nate, his brow furrowed, bit Nate was smiling just a bit. "It's no fun until we're both naked," Nate sighed breathlessly, sliding his hands around to the front of Jason's hips.

Jason moaned as Nate's hand slipped beneath his waistband, his fingertips barely brushing the base of his penis.

"Ah," Jason grunted when Nate finally started unbuttoning his pants. "Come on, I want you in my mouth."

Nate pushed Jason's pants down and gripped his ass firmly. "You can suck me now," he whispered, "Then I want to make love to you."

"What if I want to suck you off?" Jason kicked his shoes off and got his pants off completely before looking back at Nate. Nate's pants were still bunched around his thighs; Jason thought that was actually a pretty hot look for him. "What if I want you to come in my mouth?" Jason leaned over and licked the head of Nate's hard penis. Nate inhaled sharply and Jason looked up at him as he slowly took the head in his mouth and sucked softly.

"Well then," Nate said, his voice was trembling and Jason could tell he'd get whatever he wanted. "I guess you'll just have to fuck me then, won't you?"

Jason huffed a laugh through his nose as he kept sucking. It was answer enough, and it had the added benefit of making Nate choke out a startled moan. With one hand, Jason reached for Nate's pants, pushing them further down so Nate could spread his legs a bit. Nate seemed to get the idea, and soon Jason was able to slip his fingers back behind Nate's balls as he slid his mouth down, taking Nate deeper.

"Oh shit," Nate breathed, moving his legs to try and shed the pants completely. After a moment, he succeeded, and Jason heard the soft whisper of jeans falling to the floor.

Nate spread his legs wider, lifting his hips off the bed. His breathing was coming in soft long moans as Jason slid his mouth up Nate's shaft, teasing his tongue just under the rim.

"Jason," Nate breathed, threading his fingers through Jason's hair. There was no pulling, no forcing Jason to take him deeper. It was as if his lover needed an anchor to keep him tethered to the world, and Jason was exactly what he needed.

Not that Jason would have minded if Nate had wanted to be a little rough, but that was for another time. Jason liked this. He liked getting to take his time and he loved finding out just what gave him the most pleasure. Jason pressed gently behind Nate's balls and then stroked the skin. Above him, Nate's breath caught and then his hips moved in an aborted thrust.

Jason took Nate's cock in deeply, making his mouth slick as he could before he pulled back a bit, brought his hand up, and stuck two fingers in his mouth alongside Nate's cock. "Oh fuck," Nate groaned, obviously feeling it as Jason swirled his tongue around his fingers and Nate's dick.

When Jason thought they were wet enough, he slipped his fingers out and reached under Nate again. He took his lover deeply as his fingers found their target.

Nate gasped in a breath and let out a whimpering moan as Jason tagged his prostate. Nate's hips stuttered from side to side just a bit, as if chasing Jason's fingers every time he moved them. This was what Jason loved, being able to take Nate apart slowly, watching his lover come unraveled at the edges.

Nate's breathing was getting ragged as Jason pulled his mouth back, focusing his attention back on the head of Nate's dick. He tightened his lips and pressed the tip of his tongue against the slit.

Nate grunted, and his hands fell away from Jason's head to grip the sheets. Jason could feel Nate's muscles trembling and knew he was fighting to keep from thrusting up, deeper into Jason's mouth.

They were still learning what set each other ablaze, what ripped the pleasure from the other like nothing else. Jason wanted him, wanted to be inside him so badly, that it was torture to have Nate's warm tight body surrounding just his fingers.

Nate gasped again and jerked his hips as Jason found his prostate again. "Jesus, Jason," Nate said brokenly. "Suck me harder, I'm so close."

Jason worked his fingers deeper and went down deep again. This time he forced himself to swallow a few times around Nate's cock. It left his throat burning and he knew his voice might not be recovered by morning, but he didn't care. He couldn't care what with the shout the move got out of Nate. "Oh fuck!" Nate grunted, his hips unconsciously hunching into Jason's face. "Jason, shit!"

Jason pulled back to just the head and sucked hard. He wanted to taste Nate. He wanted to savor the come before he swallowed it all down. The image of Nate coming on Jason face popped into his mind and Jason's own hips thrust raggedly forward. Next time, he promised himself.

Nate thrashed slightly with the ferocity of his orgasm, his back arching high off the bed before his body went limp, a long sigh escaping his mouth.

"Jesus," Jason whispered after he pulled off. "That was beautiful," he'd never seen anyone come that magnificently in his life. Their bodies responded so well to each other, as if they were made for one another.

Slowly, once Nate stopped quivering quite so much, Jason pulled his fingers out and slid up Nate's body. He laid his weight on top of his sated lover and reached for the bedside table.

"You're gorgeous," he whispered as he snagged the lube out of the drawer.

Nate wrapped a hand begin Jason's head and pulled him down for a kiss. It was deep and passionate, filled with love and promises and Jason melted into it.

"I want you inside me," Nate breathed once the kiss had broken.

"God yes," Jason groaned and yeah, his voice was pretty wrecked. He kissed Nate's jaw before sitting back again and opening the lube.

Nate was already pretty loose anyway but Jason added a third finger to be sure. Moaning softly, Nate shifted, widening his legs a bit before wrapping one of them around Jason's hip. "Come on," Nate whimpered.

Nate sounded pretty wrecked as well, his voice cracking as he begged Jason to fuck him. Jason wasn't going to deny him, in fact, he wasn't sure it was even possible to deny Nate anything. Especially when he sounded as desperate as he did just now. Jason squeezed more lube into his hand and smeared it over his aching cock.

Nate just about yanked Jason close with his leg and Jason barely managed to catch himself before he fell. With a laugh, he stayed braced above Nate and stared down at him. "Impatient much?"

"Jason," Nate whimpered, his hips rocking up and back so that Jason's cock caught at his skin every time. "Jason, come on."

Jason moaned and ground down a bit, relishing in the feel of his cock sliding between Nate's cheeks. "Fuck, I could totally just do this," Jason grunted, thrusting again. "You feel so good, Nate. So good and I'm not even in you yet."

Nate moaned and pressed his ass harder against Jason's dick, making him grunt. "That's easily remedied," Nate whispered, leaning up just enough to reach Jason's cock. He wrapped his hand around it, gave a light squeeze, drawing a long sigh out of Jason, and lined it up. "Come on, Jason," Nate whispered again, "please."

Jason let out a shaky breath at the feel if his dick pressing lightly at Nate's hole. It was fun to make Nate beg for it, and he could do this for a long time, just tease until Nate was a quivering, pleading wreck, but he didn't want to. Not tonight. Tonight, he wanted to sink into his lover and take him apart, fall apart himself, until they were exhausted and sated and a mess of tangled limbs, until he couldn't tell where he ended and Nate began. Taking another breath, Jason shifted forward, pressing harder against Nate's entrance until the ring of muscle opened and let him in.

"Ngh," Nate grunted happily, pressing himself back onto Jason's cock. "You feel big," Nate grinned up at him.

"I didn't prepare you well enough," Jason sighed as he paused. Nate felt so tight and good around him that he didn't want to stop, but he would if Nate needed more preparation.

"No," Nate's legs tightened around Jason's hips. "It's good, keep going."

Jason smiled and closed his eyes for a moment, preparing to feel the perfect tight heat surrounding him. Once he felt he had enough control to keep from coming as soon as he was all the way in, Jason opened his eyes and pressed forward. He moved slowly, feeling Nate squeeze him inch by glorious inch.

Nate breath was deliberately slow, and Jason could see him keeping himself from pulling Jason in, locking his ankles behind Jason's hips and just grinding down. Nate was enjoying the slow pace as much as he was, Jason could see that in his face; his slightly parted lips, the tongue that darted out to wet them just a bit, the size of his pupils, blown wide with pleasure. Nate's cock was also starting to fill again, he was only semi hard just yet, but Jason planned to make his lover come a second time before he was finished.

When Jason finally slid all the way in, he paused for a moment and just looked down at his lover. "You're perfect," he whispered. With one hand, Jason reached up and stroked Nate's bottom lip. "Ready?"

"Oh yes," Nate sighed before tipping his head slightly to chase Jason's fingers. Jason's cock jerked and he drew in a sharp breath as Nate got a hold of two fingers and sucked them into his mouth.

Jason stared for a few breaths but finally he had to move. With regret, he pulled his fingers from Nate's mouth and planted his hand on the bed so he could thrust into Nate.

"Ah, Jason," Nate moaned, lifting his legs and wrapping them around Jason's hips. "You're so good."

Jason bit his lower lip as he forced himself to keep a slow steady pace. He knew he'd lose control soon enough and give in to the need to pound into his lover. For now though, slow was good, slow was perfect.

Nate looked so good stretched out below him. Jason watched Nate's face, loving how his expressions changed and how he moved whenever Jason tagged his prostate. Nate was fully hard again, his cock rubbing against Jason's stomach as they moved.

"Harder," Nate finally groaned, and Jason was happy to comply. He felt like he was burning up. He wanted all of Nate, and he was going to take it.

Nate sucked in a breath as Jason sped up and thrust harder.

Jason leaned down kissed Nate, hard and wet, but he was beginning to feel the strain of the position in his arms and legs. He broke the kiss with a wet smack and pushed up onto his knees, gripping Nate's hips and digging his fingers into the muscled flesh. Nate whimpered loudly and loosened his legs a little, giving Jason a bit more freedom of movement. He accepted it gladly, pulling out further before pushing back in.

Nate was practically howling by the time Jason felt himself getting close, but Nate had come once already. Jason knew he wouldn't be able to keep up his current pace if he let go of Nate's hips.

Nate's train of thought was on the same track apparently, and Jason's cock jerked as he watched Nate take himself in his hand. His strokes matched Jason's frantic thrusting perfectly and it wasn't long before Nate threw his head back and shouted.

Jason thrust harder as Nate's ass clenched his dick tightly. The tight heat and the sight of Nate striping his own stomach with come was almost enough to drive Jason over the edge. He held back though, just barely, until Nate loosened up and went limp, moaning softly with each of Jason's slowing thrusts.

Jason wanted it to last longer, but when he looked down at Nate and saw him looking up at him, his eyes practically black with pleasure, his wet mouth panting, Jason lost it. "Oh god," Jason groaned as he ground his hips hard into his lover. He shook with the force of his orgasm, his vision narrowing down until all he could see was Nate's face. Finally with one final weak thrust, Jason fell forward, catching himself on his hands.

Slowly, his slipped out and levered his body to the side before pulling Nate in close. "Mmm," Jason hummed, nosing at Nate's neck. "Perfect."

Nate wiggled a little to get comfortable and relaxed against him. Jason would get up in a minute and grab something to clean up with, but for the moment he reveled in their own sweaty, sticky bodies.

Jason sighed happily and rested his head on Nate's shoulder. "I love you," he said sleepily, tracing shapes with his fingers through Nate's small patch of chest hair.

"I love you too," Nate replied without hesitation.

Jason smiled and felt the world get a little fuzzy around the edges as sleep tugged at him. Cleaning up forgotten, Jason let his eyes slip closed.

oOo

Nate hissed lightly as he rolled over and the skin on his stomach pulled tight. He smiled as he remembered his second orgasm and looked at the clock.

It was four in the morning and Jason was snoring softly, curled up into Nate's side.

He groaned and scratched at the itchy skin on his belly. He was warm and mostly comfortable. He didn't want to get up, but the dried come was keeping him from being completely comfortable. He knew that there would be no getting back to sleep until he was clean. Gently kissing Jason's forehead, Nate disentangled himself from his lover’s octopus like limbs and headed for the bathroom.

He thought about his life as the water warmed. He thought about Pegasus circus and the way his life had been before. He'd been with Pegasus his entire life, and even once the arguing started and things began falling apart, Nate hadn't thought his life could have been better. It wasn't until the accident with Bates that he really saw what his life had become. Leaving his family had been the hardest thing he'd done.

Now though, as he thought of Jason, his soft features and gentle voice, he knew that his life really couldn't get better. He had everything a person could hope for. A job he loved, a family that would stand by him no matter what, and a lover he could give his heart and soul to and get the same in return.

He smiled as he scrubbed his body clean, thinking of Jason in the bedroom, his face soft and free of worry as he slept. Nate didn't bottom often, he'd always thought it was to intimate a thing to do with just anyone. But remembering the look on Jason's face last night as he looked down at Nate, the way his eyes displayed complete love and trust, Nate knew he'd made the right choice in going himself to Jason that way. He knew he'd give Jason anything he wanted, no matter what it was.

After turning off the water and drying himself, Nate returned to the bedroom to see that Jason had pulled his pillow close and was snuggling it, his face buried in the softness. He smiled again, gently pulled the pillow away and took its place in Jason's arms.

He couldn't imagine how his life would have changed if he hadn't met Jack in that diner, if Rodney hadn't hired him, and he didn't want to try. Life was perfect now, and he didn't have any plans to change that.

Dipping his head to kiss Jason, Nate saw his soft eyes looking at him. He chuckled and gave his lover a soft kiss. "Didn't mean to wake you," he said.

"It's okay," Jason's voice was rough, probably from sleep and not necessarily from the night's activities, but it sent a thrill through Nate all the same. Jason nuzzled at Nate's neck and sighed contentedly, already drifting back toward sleep. "Long day of lazing around tomorrow," his voice whispered across Nate's skin as he spoke. "We better sleep now."

Nate nodded, yawned and snuggled in close. Now that he was clean he found himself floating happily in that comfortable place between asleep and awake.

"Mmmhmm," Nate hummed and buried his nose in Jason's hair. He was thinking about how much he loved Jason's scent when sleep overtook him.

The morning found Nate alone in bed. From the sounds coming from the bathroom, Jason was in the shower. Nate stretched and grunted as his muscles and bones fell into alignment. His nose told him Jason had put coffee on already, so Nate slumped out of bed and over to pour himself a cup. As he sat down at the table and added cream and sugar to his coffee, Nate idly considered calling his parents. They'd want to know all about the performance though, so Nate decided he'd call them after.

"Morning," Nate looked up as Jason stepped out of the bathroom in his boxers. "Sleep good?"

Jason smiled and slipped back under the covers. “Great, you?”

“Mmhmm,” Nate hummed, tipping his head to lick leftover moisture from Jason’s scarred shoulder. “Damien’ll be banging down our door soon, won’t he?”

“Always does,” Jason sighed, wiggling to get more comfortable. Nate’s arms wrapped around him and they just laid there for a few minutes, soaking in each other’s presence. Nate was half asleep again when his stomach grumbled. Jason turned his head enough to crack one eye open at Nate, a smile on his face. “Hungry?”

“Guess so,” Nate chuckled. He kissed Jason’s temple before giving into the inevitable and levering himself out of bed.

---

Standing just outside the Big Top, Nate leaned against one of the supports and tilted his head up. The stars were just visible over the lights of the Circus. They’d come a long way in the few weeks since Ladon had vanished, but everyone was still slightly on edge. One of their own had done this, had made them all question. It would be a while before they were back to normal, but Nate knew they could do it. This group, this family, had the kind of spirit and community Pegasus had had in its heyday.

Inside, cheering and applause swelled as Cam’s voice poured over the speakers, and Nate knew it was time. He pushed off the support just as Jason poked his head out of the tent. “You alright?” he asked.

Nate smiled and stepped over to his lover. “Yeah. We’re all alright.”

Jason grinned and kissed him quickly. “Then let’s go fly.”