Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Go. Run. Now."

Those three little words had drastically altered the direction of Vaggie's afterlife.

She didn't regret them. No. Not one bit.

But there were times when her dreams take her back to that horrible day, and she's filled with dread as her body tossed and turns as she attempts to sleep. Her hands grasp at the blankets as she tries to find an escape from the horrors, but there is no way out when horrors are your own memories, there's no escaping the darkness of your mind.

Charlie sleeps softly next to her. Her sleep is peaceful, her hair loosely falling all around her. It had been a pretty late night at the hotel, filled with trust exercises. The entire day had been rough, but Vaggie had been the most upset with her failures trying to bring the group together, which by extension had upset Charlie as well. Neither ever felt quite right when they had to take time apart to think. 

After lying in the bed a long time, Charlie had fallen asleep holding her girlfriend close. Not much time had passed when Charlie had turned away, migrating back to her own side of the bed, but now, the tossing of coming from Vaggie's side was enough to pull her from her own dreams. She blinks hazily, attempting to take in the room before she quickly realizes what's happening: Vaggie is having night terrors again. An exceptionally frightening one.

While not as common anymore, the princess can't help but notice the night terrors have been happening more often over the last few months, accelerated when they had moved into the hotel, probably brought on by the newly received news. The extermination had been moved much closer and would be happening more frequently than before. 

Even though Vaggie seemed cool and collected in the public eye, Charlie knew how much these exterminations affected her. There was once a time where they haunted her daily. Where she had been nearly slaughtered by the angels herself. She was lucky to be alive, but it hadn't been an easy recovery at all. It had taken months to bring her back to a level where she could function, even longer until she was willing to go outside again. 

Vaggie was brave to fight to get better. Charlie isn't sure if she could be as strong in the same situation.

Since the move, Charlie had done everything she could to make Vaggie's room as comfy as possible. The room in Lucifer's palace had become home for Vaggie, the only place she felt comfortable in Hell. They'd spent so many nights together, cuddled in each other's arms, Charlie telling wonderful stories about her family and childhood.

It had been quite a shock when she'd been asked to move out with Charlie, to move into the hotel. She had worked hard to hide the worry in her eyes as she accepted. She supported Charlie's dreams more than anything. She would follow her wherever her dreams may lead. After all, she was her protector.

Even then, more than anyone else, Charlie knew how unsafe her girlfriend felt in the hotel, away from Lucifer's palace. Whenever she had to sleep somewhere new, even with Charlie sharing the bed, there was thick worry in the air, a tension that Vaggie did her best to hide, but her girlfriend knew better. The only reason she'd been able to fall asleep since the move was Charlie's arms holding her close, petting her growing locks of silver hair until her eyes drooped closed and she drifted off.

Vaggie whines again, turning away from Charlie in a violent motion. The blankets are ripped towards her, but that is the least of Charlie's worries. She was hoping that she would settle again if she gave her a chance, but it's only getting worse as the seconds tick past. Unable to let her girlfriend suffer another moment, she reaches over and gently shakes her girlfriend's shoulder, trying to wake her.

When Vaggie jumps awake, Charlie moves to give her some personal breathing space. Vaggie would never hurt her, but she's often at her most violent after her night terrors. She's been warned before to never wake her. Not out of malice, but for Charlie's protection. Even then, Charlie doesn't care. It's not like she can be hurt; the least she can do is help Vaggie. 

Vaggie's hands turn red as she continues to grasp onto the blankets with all her strength. Her scars are pulsing with the same beat as her overbeating heart: her eye scar, as well as the one Charlie doesn't know about, hidden away on her back. The one she's happened to hide for years, knowing it's too late for Charlie to know the truth. Not after she's kept it secret for so long. 

Finally, things begin to adjust back to normal. Her heart rate lowers as Charlie places an understanding palm on her arm. Her good eye is able to take in the light of the small lamp Charlie's turned on. Kicking the blankets to her feet, she gives a forced smile to her girlfriend, thanking her for waking her up. She reaches over for her spear and lays it across her legs, holding it in her hands as she tries to slow her breathing.

When Charlie asks her if she's okay, she promises she's fine. 

Leaning her spear back against the wall, the former angel pushes the memories down once more.

Something is wrong. Despite being one of Adam's earliest girls and always achieving the highest kill count of anyone in the angelic army, she was beginning to feel guilt for the enemy. Despite being created for this very purpose, new thoughts had been creeping into the back of her mind. Thoughts of guilt and repentance. 

She wasn't sure who to blame. Maybe it had been that little spider she'd befriended recently, the one named Molly. Usually, Vaggie only hung out with fellow exterminators and Adam, but when she'd spotted the little angel crying on the corner, some type of maternal instinct had kicked in. She couldn't just leave her there, crying alone with so many people around. It just didn't feel like the right thing to do.

When Vaggie had hesitantly approached the crying girl, asking if she needed help, the girl had confessed to missing her twin brother even among all the luxuries that Heaven could provide.  It was the first time Vaggie had been exposed to someone unhappy in their society - she wasn't even aware these types of feelings were possible here - and it had planted roots in the soldier's mind that things maybe weren't so perfect after all. 

Armed with only her spear and her battle uniform, the battle rages on around her. These beings - these souls - never had a chance against Vaggie and her kin. They all had the power and the best weapons that Heaven could craft, created from the purest of metals, while the sinners only had fear and suffering. They didn't even try to fight back. There was no point in them working together. It was every sinner for themselves. 

Adam - her lead commander - had shouted, sending any angel available down the nearest alleyway after a sinner who was attempting escape. With Lute already busy elsewhere and no other angels available, Vaggie had followed the shadow herself, knowing despite her newly growing guilt, she had a job to do. For her one purpose, cleansing the world of sinners to keep Heaven safe. To keep her home safe.

But when she saw the young figure crouching in the corner of the alleyway, tears rimming his blackened eyes, something tugged in her chest. She had struggled to do what she was supposed to do, and was ordered to do by her commander. She shows the little boy mercy. 

It was a mistake she immediately regretted, but had learned to accept with time. Giving the small child a chance to escape.

Before she even had a chance to return to the chaos of the battlefield roaring behind her, Lute's shadow was rising up over her, towering above her slender figure. It was too late to try to attempt an escape and too blatantly wrong to talk her way out of it. Vaggie knew Lute had witnessed the whole thing, from her hesitation to the escape of the little boy. The senior had always had it out for Vaggie and this was the perfect chance to rise above her position, pushing down Vaggie in the process.

The spear in her hand falls to the ground as the angel raises her hands out, trying to defend herself as a last attempt, to push her fellow exorcist away for a chance to escape. Maybe if she could reach Adam, she could confess her sins and get forgiveness. But Lute's rage happens so quickly and before Vaggie knows it, she's slicing her holy blade right through Vaggie's perfectly sculpted face. It slices directly through her eye, easily slicing through all the nerves and ripping it out.

Vaggie falls to the floor in agony, pain screaming intensely in her limbs. The screams escape through her mouth without her even realizing it's happening. Golden blood spills to the ground in front of her, and she's sure she would vomit if her body wasn't hurting so much already. She can't imagine pain any worse than this.

She tries to back away from Lute. Vaggie has to escape or she's going to end up dead. The only hope now is Adam. Even if she messed up this badly, surely he would give her another chance after how many sinners she's slain. Heaven could fix her. She's seen damage much worse fixed before. It wasn't too late for her to reprove her loyalty. She would start again from the bottom of the ranks. It didn't even matter if she would have to report to Lute from now on.

She would never question Adam or Heaven again, if only he could free her from all this misery and suffering.

But it's too late for forgiveness. Not with Lute. Not after showing such weakness to the sinners.

The angel looming above her speaks, but Vaggie can't make out the words. Her ears are ringing, and there are still the sounds of murderous killings happening in the background. It all mixes together. This only worsens when Lute knocks her back to the ground, smashing her head to the brimstone with her boot violently. Vaggie's face cuts against the sharp rock, and she desperately tries to push herself off the floor. 

More blood rushes down her face. It drips down into her mouth with no mercy. 

Suddenly, Vaggie is being tugged backward, starting where her wings connect to her body. There's some relief as she finally escapes from the harsh ground below - her face no longer being smashed - but she's immediately filled again with dread as her wings are too tight, stretching backward in a way they were never meant to go. All she can do is scream.

They're breaking. Slowly at first. Vaggie can feel her skin stretching, her tendons threatening to snap.

Then with one last swift motion, her wings give out behind her. They're ripped from her body with levels of pain the angel could have never thought possible. Gold blood splatters the pavement around her as her nerves search for her wings, unable to find the connections. When her wings are unable to be reached, her whole body begins to break down and crave death.

Since when had she become so delicate? Was she always able to be hurt like this or was it due to the sins she had committed, witnessed by the only person with enough vengeance to end her life? She should have tried harder to turn her eye away from her kin's actions, and carried on like it was any other normal extermination. Killed that little boy. After all, he was a sinner, no matter how small and scared he had appeared. He was dangerous, like all demonkind.

Vaggie looks up one more time to see the one figure split into two. It's hard to make sense when everything's so blurry and messy, but she thinks one of them is Adam. It has to be. He's the only one shaped like that. Yes. He's come to help her. Take her home. Help make her whole again. Grant her forgiveness.

Instead, the two of them toss her wings aside in a pile of trash, alongside the sword that is proof of her betrayal.

Vaggie lies there, broken and bleeding out in the dirty alleyway. 

It's impossible to tell how much time has passed, but the angel is suddenly woken up by the explosion of fireworks in the sky above her. 

She's never made it this far before. The army is always long gone by the time the bells signaling the end of the extermination are rung. By now she and her kin would all be feasting and celebrating such a job well done, Adam sitting proudly at the end of the long table, boasting of how proud he was of his girls. The blood on their uniforms a symbol of honor as they toast to the numbers killed. Then she would go home and spend a year enjoying herself. Plenty of bubble baths to be had.

Not this time. Who knows if they're partying above without her. Maybe they've noticed she's gone and they're organizing a rescue. Deep in her heart, she knows that's not true. It's just her brain trying to find some kind of hope as she dies in a puddle of her own blood. Adam and Lute will cover up what happened. No one will ever know what they did.

Vaggie looks to the sky, taking in the beauty of the fireworks as she struggles to find each next breath.

Red. Purple. Orange. Beautiful colors she never knew existed in Hell. 

Commotion is beginning to stir around her. The angel can hear shutters opening, weapons being pulled from corpses, last screams from the sinners who had been so close from escaping, but are now being looted for their weapons and meat. She can hear cannibals feasting on the bodies of the dead. Skin ripping from razor-sharp teeth. 

Is this what happens after each extermination? 

Vaggie knows she's dead if she stays here, even though her body is already crying with pain. If the thought of being ripped apart alive wasn't so terrifying, she probably would have let herself lay here until she bleeds out. Never before has she been so alone and purposeless in her life. How can she start over in the place all of Heaven fears most?

There's no chance she's going to give the sinners a taste of her flesh. Not today. She forces herself to keep going.

A spike of adrenaline rushes through the fallen angel, and before she has a chance to question it, she's standing on both her legs. It feels weird without her wings balancing her, but she's just going to have to make do. There's no time to be sad.

Vaggie's uniform is priority one. It makes her stick out like a sore thumb, the silver colors bright in the many shades of red that surround her. It puts a target on her back. She knows that if any sinners were to find an angel left behind, they would have the time of their lives ripping her to pieces with zero mercy. With shaking arms, Vaggie manages to slip off her bloodied exorcist dress. She uses it to wipe the remaining blood from her face and tosses it in the nearest trash can. Her boots slip off quickly and she tosses them in there as well.

Next are her wings. They're still warm as she picks them up, light as a feather, but at least blood has stopped leaking out of them. It takes everything she has not to vomit. Her heart breaks into two as she tosses them into the empty trash with her uniform, knowing this is the last time she'll ever see them again. From now on, she'll be forever half an angel.

Finally, the halo that hovers above her head. A strong reminder of her heritage and her cause. It clanks as it hits the side of the metal can. 

With the last of her strength, Vaggie grabs a bag of garbage and throws it on top of her discarded items. She pushes the bag down with the largest amount of strength she can muster, making sure that they're buried the best she can, unsure if Hell even has garbage collection. It's not a perfect plan, but it's the best shot she has right now.

Her adrenaline is beginning to wean. With the pain returning tenfold, her hands begin to shake. She needs to get as far away from the blood, as quickly as she possibly can.

With weary legs, Vaggie manages to stumble down the alleyway. Each step takes focus and effort, gravity threatening to pull her back to the ground beneath with every weary step. It's a fight to even stay awake - she thinks she has a concussion - but she does her best to push through, getting as far away from her blood as possible.

It's futile. She doesn't even make it ten steps before she falls, hitting the dumpster behind her.

Something pulls Vaggie back from death. There's a new shadow looming over her.

The angel weakly opens her remaining eye, prepared for the worst. She hopes that whichever sinner has come for her will at least show her mercy by making her death quick and painless. She doesn't deserve an easy death after all the trouble she's caused, but she's accepted her fate either way. She's ready to leave this realm.

Instead of a sinner, her good eye focuses on a beautiful woman dressed in red.

It's her. The princess of Hell, daughter of the fallen angel, Lucifer, and the first woman, Lilith. 

Her kin had all told stories about the little bitch and her passion projects, how much of a failure she was to all demon kind. There had always been a special prize offered for any angel who could slay her, bring her horns to Adam and they would reap the rewards. No one had even come close. Lucifer made sure she was locked away during every extermination, away from the slaughter. Even with a deal to keep hellborn sinners safe, Lucifer didn't trust the angel army to keep their deal. His only chance to keep his daughter safe was to keep her close.

Now she was here, distressed to find Vaggie clinging to life in a dirty alleyway.

Not that it bothered Vaggie one bit. Of course, the princess would be disgusted with her presence. Someone like her would surely see through the thin disguise of her exorcist under clothes, knowing immediately that she was really an angel left behind by her people. It was angels like her that killed Charlie's kind. Vaggie expected zero mercy from the princess of Hell.

But instead of ending her misery, the princess leans to the ground and offers her sympathy. Vaggie can only stare back in shock as the princess reaches into her scarlet jacket, pulling out a roll of fresh bandages. With delicate hands, the princess wraps the bandage around her lost eye, keeping it tight. Even though her eye had already stopped bleeding from the blood loss, it felt more secure with something wrapped around it. Less exposed. 

Vaggie's body doesn't even try to flinch away from Charlie's touch. There's no fight left in her. Only the fog that tries to pull her under and the constant ache of pain. She would let the princess do what she needed to do so that she could feel better. There's no reason to fight anymore.

It helps a little, the bandage around her damaged eye. It helps her good eye finally focus on the scene before her, a smile of thanks coming naturally for her savior.

Charlie smiles back, a bit of blush dancing across her face. 

Vaggie wants to say something, but she can't quite find the words, the darkness threatening to drag her down once more. Her head nods a bit before Charlie shakes her lightly, trying to bring her back. The smile is quickly covered with a look of panic. 

"Hey. You need to stay awake. I'll help you, but you need to stay with me. Okay?"

Vaggie tries to nod, and when that doesn't work, she tries to reply, but even her words are coming out in slurs. 

"Here. Are you cold? You look cold. Take my jacket and then I can get you help, back at home."

The princess pulls the jacket off and wraps it around Vaggie, unsure if this will actually help the trembling coming from her body. But she has to do something for this hurt girl with the most intoxicating smile she's ever seen. She would help any of her citizens, but there's a bond that ties her to this one. Like something had been calling her to this very spot.

With the jacket now unknowingly covering Vaggie's ripped back, Charlie pulls her up from the dumpster. The girl's legs are so weak that she has to lean on Charlie to keep herself up. Not sure where they're going to go next, the angel's eyes open in surprise as the princess opens a small portal into a messy bedroom.

With the assistance of the only one willing to show her kindness today, the two step through the portal.

Vaggie is given her own room in the palace, one that's much tidier and undecorated for the most part. A room meant for Lucifer's guests.

Over the next few days, the angel spends most of her time sleeping in the overly plush bed, coming in and out of consciousness for short bursts. The wounds she suffered were serious - her head injury even more so. Charlie is shocked by the cruelty of the exterminators. Even though she knows them as bloodthirsty murderers, the damage done to this girl is even worse than she can imagine. It's a surprise she's even survived this long.

But Charlie refuses to give up. She stays close to the girl, helping whenever needed as nurses from the sloth ring do their best to keep her hydrated and medicated, as well as any medical care that requires privacy.

Besides that, Charlie tries to give her plenty of space. She spends most of her time in the corner of the room, staying on a small loveseat she had managed to drag in with little effort. While too small for her body, it gives her somewhere to rest her hooves. Even then, she spends very little time sleeping, mostly attempting to comfort the girl while she sleeps.

Whenever Vaggie sleeps, she seems to scream and panic. Almost like she's being sucked right back into the extermination.

It's day four when Vaggie finally comes to long enough to take in the room around her.

Hell's princess, Charlie Morningstar, is sitting cross-legged on a couch in the corner of the room, a book in her hand. There's a quick peek of yellow eyes from over the book before the princess realizes that the girl is awake again, rushing over to make sure everything's okay. 

"You're awake!! I was so worried. You seemed so out of it since we got here. Do you remember what happened?"

Vaggie groans. Her head is killing her. It seems to throb with each word the princess speaks, yet, she doesn't wish for her to stop talking. It's a relief to see someone hoping that she's okay. No one else had come looking for her. Not even in her dreams. Yet Charlie had been here all this time, taking care of her the best she could, using her magic to stop the bleeding and pain whenever possible. 

Speaking of blood, Vaggie can feel the hardened mess on her back. Her mind still feels her wings there, but she knows better. The pain says otherwise. They're gone.

On top of the pain, she can feel dried blood and flesh being pulled back together. The princess may have seen the golden bloodied scabs, too, but her clothes haven't been changed since she was brought to the tower. And when Vaggie pulls forward, her shirt doesn't stick to the bed behind her, so it's likely that hasn't bled onto the bed. It's still possible the princess has no clue about the wounds on her back.

The princess' voice is gentle as she asks, "What can I get for you?" 

Vaggie takes a moment to think. What are her next steps if she is going to survive? Food? Water? Clean herself?

Yes. Cleaning herself feels like the right next step. That way she can scrub the blood from her backside, and maybe get into some new clothes that better hide the damage from Lute. Also, there's a layer of brimstone coating her skin, mixed with sweat and tears. She doesn't remember ever feeling this dirty in Heaven. Maybe it's just the way things are down here, but she really doesn't like the way it feels on her skin. 

"You wouldn't happen to have showers here, would you?"

Charlie laughs. Then she pauses and her face gets more serious, trying to cover up her laughter. 

"Oh! You're serious. We do, yes. Although a bath is probably better."

Vaggie hums in agreement. She still feels weak and she knows her legs won't be able to support her for long. She can't ask Charlie for assistance, at least not with her secret. It would just take one wrong turn for the princess to see the still-fresh scabs that were once her wings. How would she explain that, even to Charlie?

Vaggie appreciates how kind the princess is being, but she needs to put her own survival first. No matter how nice she is, she's still the princess of Hell.

"A bath works, too. And maybe a fresh pair of clothes, if you have anything to spare."

"Are you sure you don't need help? I won't look. I promise."

Whether she would look or not, Vaggie knows she has to do this alone. The princess means no harm. It shows with the gentleness of her eyes. And even if this was a ploy to trick her, why would she wait for Vaggie to consent when she was unconscious for nearly three days? If there were suspicions of Vaggie's identity, it would have been so much easier to check while she was out. No attempt had been made. The princess had been insistent that Vaggie's clothes stay on unless medically necessary.

When Vaggie looks up, there's no suspicion on the princess' face. It's an expression of worry and pity.

"I'm sure. I feel okay. I'll be quick. In and out."

Charlie bites her lip in hesitation but nods in acceptance. "Okay, but I'll be right outside the door if you need me. Just call for me and I'll be right here."

The princess takes one last look at Vaggie through the half-closed door, before forcing a smile on her face. The look of worry underneath almost makes Vaggie change her mind, but thankfully, the door closes before she has a chance to say anything. Instead, she quickly locks the door and sighs in relief. 

Looking around the room, Vaggie finds a large mirror, also in a thin layer of soot. Wondering why everything feels so dirty down here, she wipes a circle clean in the middle of the mirror. Turning her back, she tries to assess the damage. Or at least how badly this is going to hurt.

The scab is large, but thin, soaked up mostly by the back of her undershirt. The dark golden color is healing nicely, though Vaggie knows she's going to have to keep it clean if it's going to heal without scars, a task which seems like a near impossible in a place like this. Sure, there must be some kind of cream or magic that can heal her. Whatever they used on her eye seems to be working well, though she also feels stitches where her eye once was. But she can't risk asking for more, no matter how much pain she bears.

Grabbing the hairbrush, Vaggie quickly brushes out her hair. It only takes a few seconds with how short it is, then she takes a deep breath, knowing the next part is going to hurt more than anything she's experienced so far, and with the princess sitting outside the door, she can't afford to make a single sound. 

Putting the hairbrush handle in her mouth so she can't scream, Vaggie begins pulling off her stuck undershirt. It takes everything in her to not scream as the newly healed scabs are ripped clean and blood drips to the bathroom floor once more. She bites down as a rush of pain and adrenaline takes force in her body, but slowly, it starts to get more tolerable. The wooden brush splinters in her teeth, but does its job. She's able to stay completely silent.

Taking a look into the mirror once more, Vaggie feels a bit less worried. There's much less blood than when they were originally ripped off, her body healing at a much quicker speed than a human possibly could. It's messy, but once she's finished cleaning up the ripped flesh, it should continue to heal with little risk.

With her bottoms quickly pulled down as well, Vaggie finally steps into the tub. The water is warm and relaxing, but not so hot that it burns her. It smells clean but with no overwhelming smells. It's much simpler than the spas she's become accustomed to in Heaven, but even then, the water relaxes her tired muscles like never before. She takes a deep breath as she closes her eyes and tries to forget all of her worries, pretending she's still at home, celebrating with her kin and commanding officer. 

But when she opens her eyes, she doesn't see white and gold. She sees red. Only red. The color of pain and damnation.

It doesn't take long to wash up. The angel slowly washes her arms, then her face, and finally her back, making sure not a single drop of blood remains on her body. There is a quick second of what the fuck when she finds a small rubber duckie floating in the tub, but besides that, it's a pretty normal bath overall. She feels so much better once she's clean.

Once finished, Vaggie carefully steps out of the tub. Charlie was right. She does feel tired already. It hasn't even been that long since she woke up, and she's barely accomplished anything, but her body is still sore from the battle. It longs to return to the comfiness of her new bed. All she can think of is sleep.

With the tub still full, Vaggie quickly uses her shirt to wipe up the few drops of blood on the floor. Then she throws the shirt in the still-warm water, doing her best to wring out all of the stains. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it has to be clean enough to not raise suspicion. When that's finished, she pulls the plug to drain the tub and grabs a red bathrobe that's conveniently hanging on the back of the bathroom door. 

Only once the robe is tied tightly around her body, does Vaggie open the door.

Charlie, unsurprisingly, is sitting outside the door, her body slumped against a wall with her arms wrapped around her legs. Her head rests gently on her knees, sleeping quietly for the first time in days. She debates if she should even wake the sleeping princess, but she could still use a pair of clothes, and she isn't quite sure how to get back to her room. 

(And although she hates to admit it, she would miss the company. It feels weird being alone after spending so long in a team.)

So, she nudges Charlie's shoulder, trying her best to gently wake her up.

The princess' head slowly rises, one eye blinking before the other. A yawn stretches on her face and Vaggie has to hold back a smile when she sees how cute it is. It looks like she hasn't slept in days, but even exhausted, she's happy to see Vaggie. 

"All done?" 

Vaggie nods in return. She's clean once again, even though her body still aches.

"All done. Now let's get you to bed. You need to sleep."

The next day, Vaggie is getting ready for bed in the oversized bathroom when she takes a look in the mirror, getting ready to brush her teeth. Moving around to find a better angle, the angel tries to get a better look at her smile, but no matter what angle she tries, two of her teeth in the front are beginning to lengthen.

Her heart pangs for what she once had, beautiful flowing feathers and her halo. Normal teeth.

Is that why these fangs are growing now? With no symbol of goodness, there's nothing to protect her from Hell's essence? Or is it just the time spent in Hell that causes her body to change to fit her surroundings? Though she's different from the sinners she's seen before, arriving in Hell with a new sudden form. Her changes seem more slow, brought on with time. She finds it unnerving to see her body change no matter the reason.

As much as the angel hates these new features, she knows it'll help her blend better among Charlie's people. And the more she blends in, the less trouble she's likely to stumble into. She needs to be prepared in case things ever change, if she ends up having to find a new way to survive. A backup plan, just in case Charlie casts her out as well.

Is it wrong to go from one purpose to another so quickly?

It's been something that's been on Vaggie's mind lately.

It took less than a week for Charlie to move her stuff into the room right next to Vaggie's, always there in case she's needed by her guest. With Vaggie's wounds healing nicely, the only thing that haunts her now is the night terrors. Even though they happen nightly, making it extremely hard for her body to rest and heal, Charlie is there each time it happens. Stroking Vaggie's hair as tears leak from the angel's eyes, only for her to toughen back up once awake. 

A few days later, Vaggie notices Charlie has "accidentally" left her jacket in the room before heading to bed. Unsure if she should wake her after a long day, Vaggie decides it would be better to just keep it until morning. No one would even know if she held it close all night, the sweet scent of her savior keeping the terrors at bay.

The longer her hair grows, the more her body changes. Her scars are mostly healed over now, and while she would never let anyone see them, it's much easier for her to hide where her wings were torn. She does have phantom limb pain from time to time, but she's an expert at acting stoic. Not even Charlie - who she spends most of her time with - suspects she's in pain. Though the night terrors continue to return night after night.

Everything seems to come back to Charlie. 

Night terrors? Charlie is the one to pull her from her dreams.

In pain? Charlie is rushing to her bedside, using her magic to lessen the throbbing. 

Vaggie smiles? Charlie's blushing and doing that cute little hair tuck. Every. Single. Time.

Even hanging in Charlie's bed watching television, Vaggie feels so safe in her scent that she can't help but fall asleep. It takes no longer than ten minutes before Vaggie is out, but the princess never moves. She just watches her sleep with a smile on her face.

Vaggie can't deny what's been happening. She's beginning to catch feelings for Lucifer's daughter.

No angel had ever made her feel the way she feels around Charlie. Sure, she admired her commanding officer. But Adam was a douchebag most of the time, and much closer to Lute than he ever was to her. Vaggie wouldn't lay with him if he was the last man on Earth.

No. No man has ever drawn her attention. Not in the way Charlie's smile does, like a moth drawn to a flame.

This isn't right. Vaggie knows it. An angel and the princes of Hell. That's wrong. It's as simple as that. Two opposing forces could never create such a bond, and Vaggie feels guilty for even thinking about kissing her. It's an urge she tries to push deep, deep down, no matter how hard that may be.

But that's not what her heart wants. Each smile, each gentle touch, the way she gently tucks her hair behind her ear whenever she blushes. All these little things start to build up, causing the angel's heart to ache with something new, something more longing than ever before. Something she can't push down, no matter how hard she tries.

Even if nothing ever happens between them, Vaggie will be Charlie's protector. As a friend, bodyguard, or if the stars ever align, lover.

With Charlie, time seems to barely tick by. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and before Vaggie realizes, she's no longer counting the days in Hell.

Things would have likely been different if she'd ended up anywhere else. There's a possibility she wouldn't even be alive right now. Her life was so drastically changed when she was cast from her people, and even more so when the princess had shown her mercy, taking her in to live with her. It made her time in Hell a little easier, knowing someone was there for her, someone who really cared about her. 

Vaggie wasn't a fan of people before, but with Charlie, things are so different. They spend most of their time together. Not only has she learned so much about Vaggie - her likes, dislikes, boundaries, pet peeves - but Vaggie has learned more about Charlie than she ever thought possible. Enchanting stories of her childhood and her dad's magic, the separation she feels from her father, and her dream to improve her people's lives, made more urgent with her mother's - the queen of hell's - disappearance years ago.

She learns about the hole in Charlie's heart. With her dad lost in his thoughts, and her mother gone who knows where, it's no wonder that Charlie spends so much time with her new friend. Not that Vaggie would ever complain. She'll take every minute of Charlie's attention that she can get. But it makes a lot more sense now. The princess trusts so easily and it's clear that she's been hurting, even if she keeps a strong face. She's as appreciative of Vaggie's company as the angel is of hers.

Things are perfect, until they aren't. For reasons unknown to Vaggie, things are changing. It seems like Charlie is visiting her less and less. And with the brief times she gets to see the princess, she seems exhausted, run down to the bone, barely taking off her jacket before falling asleep in the bed next to Vaggie. 

At first, she just assumes the princess is busy, stuck in royal duties or something. It's not like she was away much before, but she was the princess of Hell. There must be things she has to do sometimes, right? While Vaggie knows she can't always be the top priority in Charlie's life, there's still a pit in her stomach from the break of communication between them. Her instincts just know something is different than before. 

That night, before Charlie has a chance to pass out, Vaggie pulls her from the bedroom to the dining room, making sure she has something to eat. It's a small gesture from Vaggie, but Charlie is as appreciative as could be. Most of the food had been cooked by the angel herself and while it wasn't as good as the food Charlie was used to, it had given Vaggie something to do while her mind wandered all day. 

"Charlie?" 

The princess looks up from the table with a little "hm?". It's cute, but Vaggie can't let that distract her. It's clear how exhausted Charlie is. This might be her only chance for her to say something, before she loses her nerves.

"You seem busy, busier than before. I'm worried."

Charlie nods in reply, first slowly, then a bit more as she tries to reassure Vaggie that everything's great. Vaggie doesn't fall for it. She knows better.

"I'm worried because I know you have duties and that's okay, but you're not eating. You're barely sleeping. And I... I miss you.'"

Charlie takes another bite of the badly cooked roast as if she's buying for time. When she's finished chewing, she's rearranging food around her plate with her fork. Which is fine. Vaggie doesn't mind waiting if she needs some time to find the words, but as seconds turn to minutes, Vaggie starts getting more and more worried.

"Charlie? Please. You can talk to me."

"It's nothing," Charlie replies. She looks up at Vaggie, trying to force a reassuring smile on her face. A smile that Vaggie sees through completely. "I'm always busy this time of year."

Vaggie tilts her head. Normally something that would be so cute to Charlie, but there's no reaction this time. Not even blush or hair tucking.

"What time of year?"

"You know," Charlie utters back, twirling her fork in the air and learning forward. Hoping Vaggie catches on without her having to speak the words.

It takes Vaggie a few seconds of hard thinking before it kicks in. After a whole year with Charlie, even she's shocked by the time passing so quickly. But there were no calendars in her room, and she hadn't seen any need for a cell phone here, so the passage of time had been weird. How could she be so stupid that she'd forgotten the extermination?

"Oh, I'm sorry. I had forgotten."

"No no no," Charlie affirms. "It's not your fault. I didn't want you to have to remember."

A strong silence fills the room, both girls unsure of what to say to the other. Both wanting to take away each other's pain.

The angels will be here in a couple of hours. And while Vaggie has been promised that the palace is completely safe from the angelic army, the whole idea of Lute returning sends Vaggie spiraling. Surely, they think she's dead after what happened. Right? That would be the safest assumption. Why would they spend time hunting her down if she's already dead in their eyes?

Charlie is powerful. She must be if she's the princess of Hell. Vaggie thinks back to one time when someone had set off the princess, her demon form fighting through her usually put-together appearance. Seeing such a powerful display of power from demons would normally have uneased the angel, but around Charlie, she feels safe. Her instincts that would normally shout DANGER are dulled even when the princess is at her most powerful. 

Then there's Razzle and Dazzle, the two little dragon-like bodyguards that seem to hover around Charlie from time to time. Vaggie's not sure how such little guys could cause damage, until she learns that they were brought to life by Lucifer himself. 

If Lucifer is able to bring things to life, he must be more powerful than anyone Vaggie has ever met before, demon or angel. Only the seraphs had that ability, though Vaggie had never actually witnessed it happen. She had just heard of such things. It makes her somewhat nervous to meet Charlie's dad, but after living together in the palace for an entire year, she has yet to see him leave his private suite. Probably for the best. If anyone was to recognize her angel heritage, it was him.

Even with the protection of the entire Morningstar family, Vaggie's panic can't be calmed. She tries to push it down, but the trauma is constantly bubbling back up, turning her dreams into terrors once again. Bad sleep makes her scars ache more than they usually do, with pain that's mostly settled over the last year, but with her heart rate so high over the last twenty-four hours and her night terrors returning over the last week, it's all come flooding back in.

Questions race through her mind while Charlie's gone for the day, doing last-minute preparations for the extermination. Had her sisters forgotten about her so easily? Would they come looking for her? If they come looking for her, would it be to save her, or would it be to finish the job?

A gentle knock on the door pulls her attention. Charlie's knock.

"Come in."

The princess looks exhausted. It's been a long day in preparation for the extermination tomorrow. While Vaggie has spent the day cooped up in her room, Charlie's been out doing what she can to help her people. Preparing medical supplies, rebuilding shelter walls, catching up new arrivals to tomorrow's events, and fortifying the border around the pride ring. 

As Charlie rests on the edge of the bed, Vaggie can sense there's something else on her mind. 

"What's on your mind? You can tell me anything, you know."

Charlie takes a deep breath through her nose. It can be hard for her to speak her mind sometimes, even when this has been such a tough week for both of them. But, she's also worried for her friend, so she knows she needs to step up and say something. While she's been busy, Vaggie's been pent up all week in her room. She'd been avoiding looking at herself in any mirrors, trying to cover her eye scar with her bangs more than usual, and she'd even heard her friend crying the night before.

"You've been cooped up in your room all week. I'm getting really worried for you."

Vaggie takes Charlie's hand in hers, rubbing her thumb in an attempt to reassure Charlie. It was just a week ago that Vaggie had been trying to help Charlie, but once again, Charlie seemed to be the one doing all the work in this friendship. Being gone all day and then supporting Vaggie, too. "I'm okay. Promise."

"You don't seem okay. At least to me."

Instead of opening up as her heart says, the little voice in Vaggie's head wants to pull away. It reminds her that she doesn't belong here, saying that all these people are her enemy. But if that was really true, it would mean Charlie is also her enemy also. And Vaggie loves her more than anything in the world. She could never believe that.

Still, she pulls her hand back and stares directly at the floor, avoiding the princess' gaze. 

"Vaggie, you trust me, right?"

With a bite to her lip to hold back tears, Vaggie returns a small nod. She trusts her with all her heart. 

"Then I need you to tell me what's wrong. And trust that it'll be okay."

Silence fills the room, this time from Vaggie. Usually, Charlie's the one who has trouble speaking up, but when it comes to emotions, Vaggie knows she's pretty stunted as well. She holds back from a fear of rejection and pain, especially from her only friend since her downfall. But she knows she can't hold it in forever.

"I... I don't feel safe."

"Oh...."

"It's not you. I promise. I know how strong you are, but they're strong too. And last year, I wasn't strong."

A few more words and Vaggie finds her crying in Charlie's arms once again. She's been holding these feelings in all week, trying to be there for Charlie. If this is a hard week for Vaggie, it must be even worse for the princess. Watching her people be slaughtered each year. Vaggie's problems are so small in comparison.

But Charlie doesn't judge or dismiss her friend. She just holds her tight as Vaggie lets it all out on her shoulder, the princess knowing how hard this must be for Vaggie. She always tries to keep everything in, trying to stay stoic when things are hard, but it was only a year ago she was experiencing a major trauma. It can be so important to cry. Crying is an important part of living. It brings the people we love close. And Charlie would never judge her for that.

Even when the tears begin to slow, Charlie continues to stroke Vaggie's hair, pausing every so often to play with the strands of her bow, whispering sweet words to her. This is something magic can't fix. It will take time and support to help Vaggie get past this.

"I think you're so strong, Vaggie," she shares. But this isn't about what Charlie thinks or Charlie's abilities. It's not meant to be an accusation, but a confession. Something that must have been so hard to share. All Charlie cares about in this moment is helping Vaggie. "What can I do to help you feel safe?"

Vaggie shakes her head. She'll be okay. Really. It helped to let it all out. She was being silly, anyway. She was safe here.

"Come on, Vaggie. Talk to me. What can I do to help you feel safe?"

Thinking back, there was one thing that always made Vaggie feel safe. Even if it was a symbol of her people's killings, it was something for Vaggie to hold onto when anxious. A hand-sculpted weapon made especially for her.

"Maybe a spear. An angelic one... I know you hate weapons but if I can defend myself, defend you, then..."

Charlie stops her suddenly. She doesn't need to explain herself. That's quite a powerful weapon, one that could do a lot of damage to her people. It wouldn't be able to kill her or her father, but it would leave either of them seriously wounded. Not that anyone's dared to try before. 

And yet, she trusts Vaggie with her life. If that's what she needs to feel better, then it's hers.

"Vaggie. It's okay. I'll track one down for you. And then tomorrow, I'll be here with you the entire time. Does that sound good?"

"I understand if you have other places to be. You're important here."

"Vaggie..." There's sadness in Charlie's voice. "You're important, too. I want to be here, with you. If you want that, too."

Vaggie nods into Charlie's neck. She wants that more than anything.

There's chaos in the air. Even though it can't be seen through the palace walls, Vaggie can feel it in her bones.

She can easily sense the presence of the angels in the pride ring. Like some sort of bond between them, there's something that draws them all together. A mystic-type force that aids them in battle, but even with her wings cut off and her halo discarded, the connection is still there, only weakened. Vaggie wishes it would stop.

It can mean only one thing. If she can feel their presence, they can sense her in return. It terrifies her.

Charlie had stayed true to her word, acquiring the weapon for her. Vaggie's not quite sure where she got it, but she doesn't dare ask.

It's nearly identical to the one she had before, fitting it perfectly in her hands. She holds it tight as she paces up and down the room, ready to react to the smallest noise. Even without her wings, she would put up a fight, doing all she can to protect herself and the woman she loves. 

Meanwhile, Charlie sits gently at the edge of Vaggie's bed, her hands folded gently in her lap as she waits for the extermination to end. It feels like they're there forever, both too wracked with nerves to say anything, but keeping a smile on her face whenever Vaggie turns to check on her.

Vaggie isn't sure how she stays so calm. It boggles her mind. Just once, she had tried to sit next on the bed with her, but within a few seconds, her heart had begun racing uncontrollably. Then her leg starts bouncing, and before she knows what she's doing, she's pacing around the room once more. Back and forth with every passing minute. Waiting for this to all be over. 

"Vaggie..." 

It's Charlie's soft voice from the bed, but Vaggie can barely hear it above noises outside. Wings, beating together as they return through the portal.

It's over. The extermination is over.

A hand on her shoulder pulls her attention from her pacing. Vaggie's body relaxes into the touch.

"I need to go send the signal. I'll be right back. I promise."

Vaggie nods in response. She'll be fine. The worst of today is over.

It had been a long twenty-four hours, but things were finally beginning to settle.

Charlie leaves to shower. While Vaggie felt sad leaving her alone, she knew the princess needed some time alone to grieve her people. Charlie was usually the one who needed time to think things over. To get her feelings worked out until she was ready to face the world with a more positive outlook. For now, Vaggie would give her space.

With her spear leaning against the wall, the angel takes a look around the room, pondering what to do in the meantime. She was tired, too, but she feels too wound up to sleep. Instead, she takes the time to help Charlie out, making sure the bed is made and pillows fluffed for bed. Then quickly picking out Charlie's favorite set of pyjamas - the ones she had lent Vaggie on her very first night at the palace - folding them in a neat pile on her bed. Then she spends a few minutes tidying up.

Once everything is as stress-free as Vaggie can make it, she heads back to her room. Only then does undo her bow and get into her bed.

The angel lays there for an unknown amount of time. She thinks about her time with Charlie. Just a year ago, she thought her life had been over. She had even wanted it to be over. What was the point of fighting when you no longer had a cause worth fighting for. No friends, no family, not even a reason to live.

But now, things are so different. Vaggie wants to live. To keep fighting for not only Charlie but herself. She sees that hellborn aren't always bad. If there's goodness in Charlie, there may be good in the others as well. Her mind is open to the possibilities.

A light knock and Charlie steps through the door. She's wearing the pyjamas laid out for her, her wet hair dripping water. It had been a nice surprise to find her room all tidied up, but there's somewhere else she'd rather be tonight. A person wants to spend the night with.

Even though Vaggie is still lost in her mind, she takes the hairbrush from Charlie's hand without a second thought. The princess settles in her lap as Vaggie gently starts brushing out her hair, detangling any knots she finds with her fingers. It takes a long time with the amount of hair Charlie has, not that the angel minds. She would spend the entire day spoiling Charlie if given the chance. This is her happy place.

"It's been a long day. Let's get into bed," Vaggie says as she finishes with the brush, setting it on her bedside table.

There's no point in the princess returning to her room. Instead, she crosses the room and climbs onto the other side of Vaggie's bed, not bothering to get under the covers, but reaching for Vaggie's hands instead. Not only because she's sure her scent will keep the girl calm after such a horrible day, but it makes Charlie feel safe to know she isn't alone. 

The two girls lay in bed, foreheads touching and fingers entwined. 

Charlie reaches over to tuck Vaggie's hair behind her ear, the same way she had that very first night when she'd discovered her alone in that alleyway. Looking into her beautiful peach-colored eye, blush dances across the princess' face once again. She tries to hide it, but a hand reaches towards her chin, pulling their eyes back together.

With her heart pounding until it nearly explodes, Vaggie leans forwards and kisses Charlie.