Chapter Text
"So, you think you can come down here and fuck with my daughter's project? Well you're wrong. Cause I'm going to fuck you!" Lucifer growls, his tail lashing in anger.
"Uh Dad, its actually 'fuck you up.'" Charlie corrects from her position on his shoulder, trying not to laugh at her dad's mistake.
"That's what I said, right?" Lucifer asks, turning to look at his beautiful demonic daughter.
"Sure, let's go with that." She replies, not wanting to forget about the matter at hand. Which was the fact that the First Man, Adam, was currently glaring daggers at the King of Hell and his daughter.
"Lucifer, finally decided to show up?" Adam chuckles, gesturing to the damage that littered the hellish landscape.
"We had a deal! All Hell born are pardoned from an Exorcist blade, so why are you trying to kill my daughter and her friends?"
"Because redemption will never be possible!!" Adam spats, "Your daughter is a delusional dreamer like you, and you both deserve death!"
"For being delusional or being a dreamer?" Lucifer asks, mildly intrigued to see how Adam will respond.
"For both!" He cries, "You were an angel and you fell for your dreams, you are why humanity is so fucked."
"Hate to break it to you dude, but if you claim to be 'the Dickmaster' then that means every human is a descent of yours, so actually, you're the reason humanity is fucked." Lucifer just grins at Adam. Vaggie lands in the background, back from her fight with Lute and was helping Husk and Angel fight.
"Just shut up already!!" Adam yells.
"OK!" Lucifer chirps and he zooms towards Adam, knocking the First Man onto the ground. He punches his face in, using it as a punching bag to release some of the anger towards Heaven that he has kept bottled up all these years.
"Dad, stop!" Charlie cries, feeling pity for the bested First Man. "Show him mercy."
"Like him and Heaven did for me?? No!! He deserves to die!!"
Lute had managed to break her arm off, and was now circling the battlefield, looking for an easy target. She spots Vaggie, and dives toward her, knocking her off her feet.
While everyone is preoccupied, Adam sits up. He manages to stand, painfully, but he's up. He starts stalking towards Lucifer, intent on finishing what Sera and the others should have finished long ago.
These fucking assholes, how dare they think that redemption is possible, I'm going to fucki-
His internal monologue is cut off by a sharp pain in his abdomen. Adam looks down at his gut to see a silver blade sticking out, golden blood already pouring out of the wound. Everyone stares at the knife with a horrified expression. That is, everyone but Vaggie, who looked so happy you could have assumed Christmas had come early.
Adam hears his lieutenant, Lute, cry out as he collapses to the ground, face first. Niffty stands on top of his crumpled form, and starts stabbing and maniacally laughing. Lute rushes over to him, knocking Niffty off of his back with a wing. She turns him face up, tears in her eyes.
"Adam, sir, don't leave me!" She cries, cradling his head with a wing and trying to stop the external hemorrhaging with her remaining arm.
Adam struggles to take a breath, the knife having nicked his left lung, giving him a hemopneumothorax. Adam smiles up at her as his eyes close.
"NOOOOOO!" Lute wails, tears freely streaming down her face.
"ALL EXORCISTS, RETREAT." She calls out as she maneuvers Adam's body onto her back so that she can fly.
"Hang in there sir, we are going to get you back up to Heaven so you can be fixed up."
Charlie and the gang watch as Lute and the other exorcists flee back up to heaven, and Charlie finally collapses.