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Not getting to have him, losing him to someone else? It puts a sickening Ache in my chest. It makes it feel like my sternum is cracking— Leaving my heart exposed and vulnerable to my own onslaught of attacks.
I blame my mind for letting him find my heart.
It Feels like the pit in my stomach Never went away; it was only ever covered up. Not that it’s uncovered? I don’t just think it’s deep, i Know it’s bottomless. Eating me from the inside out.
Trying to accept the fact he can no longer be mine, be just for me; it makes me want to bawl. It seemed to undo the binds keeping me from being a jealous beast…
Fighting the Fleeting thoughts and urges to be an angry Monster… an animal. It certainly makes me feel like a monster. After all… what human wishes to scream, howl, bite, and claw at and Through someone just to get to him.
I want to claw and scream, i want to bite and destroy them and that part of me that cares too much.
And even more so at the part that doesn’t care at all who I have to go through.
- An Animal