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“Gege", Kaeya grabbed Diluc’s hand, his voice pleading— begging to be precise, “Please.. don't abandon me.", he choked on a sob, his eyes filled with tears, lips quivering, his voice lowered an octave, “okay?"
Diluc looked at his grown up little brother, his hands shaking, he has to break free now— he cannot let himself walk on this path further but—
—”Cut!”, The man with grayed hair sighed from behind the camera, “You both, come here"
Kaeya and Diluc looked at each other, perplexed. The atmosphere of separation, longing and affection vanished into thin air.
The director scrunched his eyebrows thinking about the best way to put it, "The dialogue delivery is perfect. The expressions are also perfect, yet.. when you both are on camera.. the atmosphere.. that's not quite right!"
Kaeya lifted his eyebrows and Diluc pondered the words deeply.
The director continued, “Ah, got it! It feels like you two are lovers going separate ways!"
"Pfft—”, Kaeya laughed out loud and Diluc gave him a glare. The director finally finding out the reason behind the strange atmosphere, completely turned a blind eye to the two men's reactions and continued, "Kaeya, do you get it? You're his little brother here! You and your big brother grew up in an orphanage and now in your teens your big brother finally proved himself multiple times to be intelligent and talented and a wealthy person wants to adopt him. At this time, he's your only family, you should fear that you are going to lose your brother rather than.. acting like you are getting separated from your lover!”
Then the director turned to Diluc, “And you! You're a professional, aren't you? The reason you're leaving is not just because some wealthy man adopted you but instead that person threatened you with your brother's life! You are leaving so that you can protect him but why do you instead look like… someone has snatched away your lover from you and that you want to.. yeah! you want to have one night of indulgence before—”
"Cough! Cough!”, Diluc’s entire face reddened.
Kaeya couldn't hold back his laughter, "Pfft— hahahahaha director, thanks for your guidance! We'll make sure to adjust our expressions like you advised"
“Take your time. We will redo this scene again after sometime.", the director walked afar waving his hand at the two most popular actors of the current entertainment industry.
"Gege.”, Kaeya walked closer to whisper in Diluc’s ear, “Are you really thinking of–”
"Shut up”, Diluc reached out his palm to close Kaeya’s lips when Kaeya quickly held his hand, “..but I thought the Director was right..”
Diluc broke free of the hold and turned around to leave when Kaeya chuckled and followed, "Gege! Let's practice!”, the "Gege” was so loud and cheerful that the director almost wanted to ask Kaeya again whether he's learning to play the little brother or gegekink for a BL movie.
Diluc’s heart skipped a beat inexplicably and the next moment the culprit was right by his side, “Let's try and play the brothers well!"
Diluc crossed his arms across his chest, “And for that, why don't you start calling me Gege properly first?"
“Ohhh–", Kaeya fell into a deep thought. “Then how exactly do I call you…”, he looked at Diluc and his eyes curved into a smile, his voice warm as a sunshine, "Gege?” — Thump. The smile was so bright that Diluc could not see him as an innocent little brother mentioned in the script.
"Not right?”, Kaeya pondered, what about.. he lowered his eyes a little, even pouting a little, "Gege..”, —Thump. Thump. Isn't this literally acting spoiled?! Diluc cannot hold back, "Are you doing it on purpose?”
"Doing what on purpose?”, Kaeya’s tone was so innocent that no one can guess the underlying thoughts behind that. Diluc took a deep breath before explaining, "In this part, what we should express is the pain of losing a close family, it involves a deeper desperation than for a lovers’. It was also my fault for not playing my part correctly before, let's practice individually for a while then go over the lines together”
Diluc turned around to leave when Kaeya spoke up, "I don't quite agree.” Diluc stopped in his tracks and turned to look back at Kaeya who looked rather uncharacteristically serious. "The little brother does not have anyone in his life other than his big brother. He never saw the world outside the orphanage. He was bullied by others and the only one he was dependent on was his big brother. So for a person as such, does he understand the difference between familial affection and the one between lovers?”
Kaeya closed his eyes as if he became that little brother in the script himself, "To him, in this entire world only his big brother treats him well ever since he met him at the orphanage. To him, his big brother is his only hold in his life. The only thing he could call his— is his heart.”, Kaeya opened his eyes and smiled, backlit by the sun, his smile shone brighter, "..and he would desperately offer it up, if that could make his big brother stay.”
Diluc stood rooted at place, looking at Kaeya before him, he felt that his own understanding of the characters’ were very much on the surface level. He was 10 years a senior to Kaeya and much more well known, the awards and accolades he gained in the last five years spoke of his glory yet before this emerging actor, he felt he still had a lot to learn.
Kaeya was right. The desperation is not just in the little brother wanting the big brother to stay but instead— the little brother would offer up the only thing he could —his heart, for the big brother to stay.
As for the big brother, his life was pointless outside of his little brother. Everything he did is for his little brother to grow up well and safe— even if it takes for him to stay away from his brother.
The two of them looked at each other from a distance, with the sunset, the heaviness in their heart slowly receded and they felt that they understood each other's point of view a lot better now.
only that, regrettably, the movie they're acting in is not a BL!!!
“Gege", a deep, sinister voice devoid of any warmth but tainted with maniacal passion, sounded near Diluc’s ear causing him to flinch. Kaeya looked at the person chained to a chair before him. He wanted to reach out and hold the hands like he did many times in the past but he was too afraid.. he was afraid to dirty the hands of angels with his filth. But, he was desperate too— for just a touch, to feel human again. He reached out to touch the bloodied cheek and Diluc turned away, avoiding any contact.
His hands hung in mid air, “Do I disgust you now, Gege?", there was finally a tremor in the voice of the man feared by the entire city.
“Stop calling me that!", Diluc’s eyes were filled with fury, “If you had even an ounce of respect for that title, would you treat me like this now?!"
Kaeya looked at Diluc’s eyes that were filled with disgust, hate and.. hurt. Ah, his big brother was really angry this time. Is this the first time he got angry with him? That's good too. It was better than his big brother completely ignoring him. At least that hatred is a poison Kaeya was willing to drink to quench his thirst.
Ever since his big brother left him behind at the orphanage, Kaeya’s life changed. He no longer adored the world beyond the walls of the orphanage, if anything, he loathed that world that took away his big brother. Even if he tore away his heart and was willing to offer it up, what was it worth? Just like him, it was worthless.
And his big brother left, with him he took away the colors of Kaeya’s life.
Kaeya became more reclusive, the smile that shone brilliantly once faded beneath a serene mask. When he did smile, it was scarier than when he didn't. His hands got bloodied, his heart became colder. He became the mafia boss and controlled the entire city’s illegal trades.
When he was little, his big brother told him that when they grow up, they can go to the outside world, see the moon and the stars, see the sun and the sea, earn money and eat lots of good food. Kaeya used to listen with so much hope and excitement back then.
But now everything was in his hands. Yet, the person who made the promise was no longer in his sight. “It was all a lie" , Kaeya realised. His big brother always lied to him! What was good about the sun, the sea, the moon and the stars? None of it could still match the brilliance of his brother's eyes.
It was all superficial.
“Do I disgust you now?", Kaeya called out again, before dropping on his knees, Diluc protested but Kaeya took Diluc’s hand within his, “Do you hate me now, Gege..", no matter if he's the most feared mafia boss or if he's the little brother who had nothing to offer up except his heart, he was still at a loss before his big brother who seemed to never want him. But.. if his big brother does not want him, where could he go?
Diluc turned to look at the person before him, the chains around his limbs reminded him that his little brother is no longer the innocent and naive boy he wanted to protect but his heart still ached at the sight. Isn't he also the reason for this? If only that day he didn't listen to the threats and searched for another way to protect his brother— afterall, he didn't end up protecting him but instead ended up destroying him.
Diluc wanted to reach out but suddenly Kaeya looked up, his eyes revealing nothing of the sadness from moments ago, “It's okay, Gege. Atleast if you hate me, that means I'm important to you"
Looking at the madness reeking from the person before him, Diluc’s lips trembled and tears slid down, the pain caused by the chains against his limbs lost to the anguish in his heart. The wail in his heart drowned even the cries of the devil.
He looked at their current bloodied and unrepairable state, the brothers who promised to see the stars together were long dead and what remained was a wretched and twisted version of their past, clinging onto each other, destroying each other in the process.
— And they say it's not a BL?!?!
The assistant director looked at the scene playing out in front of him and was moved to tears. This.. was acting of its highest quality! The director was even more mesmerized as he looked into the screen for the longest time without realising that he needed to call out— “cut!", the entire shooting spot went into an uproar of cheers and applause congratulating the two for playing the important scene of reunion very well.
Yet when the entire crowd was in an uproar, Diluc could see Kaeya’s eyes were blank, as if he was still the little brother from the movie. Though the scenes they're acting now in the movie is of their long years of separation, off screen, Kaeya and Diluc started growing a lot closer to each other.
It was not uncommon for actors to get a bit deep into the roles so he patted Kaeya’s shoulder lightly and Kaeya immediately recovered his senses— in the next couple of minutes, he even got the strength to tease Diluc, “Gege”, his voice was low and deep, as if he's sharing a scandalous secret. There was no need to call Gege like that!
"We're not acting now!", Diluc responded. “Hm?", Kaeya lifted his eyebrows, "Just help this newbie actor in me. If I stopped calling you Gege , it would be difficult for me to get into character again!”
Diluc looked at the newbie actor in front of him who only got a couple of emerging actors award the previous year and snorted coldly, “If that's the case, then your professionalism needs to be seriously questioned"
Kaeya was rendered speechless by this retort but who was Kaeya if he does not try to challenge Diluc’s limits, “Gege", his low throaty call startled Diluc. Diluc really wanted to know how Kaeya could make that word sound so… scorchingly scandalous. Something that would make anybody's heart feel itchy.
And the next moment, his voice was as warm as the sun, “Do you know that we have quite a big fanbase for our ship?"
“Aren't we brothers in this movie?", Diluc was perplexed.
“Even better", Kaeya laughed out loud.
Diluc was heavily panting, the blood in his hand hadn't dried yet when he opened the door to the dark room with dread in his heart. In his heart, he could only scream, Please be okay. Big brother always only wanted you in life, it does not matter if you are the man feared by the city, it does not matter if you are the little boy who was bullied, as long as it's you, we can slowly figure this out.. But please.. please don't leave me alone.
Crack— when the door opened, Diluc’s eyes widened and hot tears streamed down his cheeks, his lips trembled and the hand holding the door handle shook in fear of the scene in front of him.
Blood splattered around, the young man before him who grew up to be unrecognisable was once again curled in a corner, like when he first found him, yet this time, his face contained no fear.. no pain even when his life was only hanging by a thread.
He weakly looked up to see Diluc standing near the door and mustered up a smile— ah, he no longer knew how to smile genuinely, all he could do was try to imitate the silly boy he was from before. But he loathed that version of him too, after all, if he was capable, his big brother wouldn't have abandoned him.
“Gege..", his voice didn't have any life, the call was not like a man who was on the verge of death seeking help but instead like a person who has long embraced death fulfilling his final wish.
Diluc scrambled his way in the darkness and held Kaeya in his arms— when did he grow up so much?! — “It's okay, don't talk!", Diluc’s words were shaky, “I'll take you out of here.. hospital.. there should be a hospital nearby.. Nothing will happen to you!"
“Hahah— cough! cough!", Kaeya coughed out blood, “Gege, I cannot ask for a better ending than to die in your arms." Diluc shook his head, "Shut up, don't talk!”
"No”, Kaeya continued— that was the first time he said No to something Diluc asked him to do, "You finally don't see me with those eyes full of disappointment, let me talk a bit more”
Tears streamed down and Diluc grew more panicked at the blood coating his hands, Kaeya was losing so much blood. His voice was also so thin that if Diluc didn't listen intently he would not hear it clearly. “Gege, without you, I really did not know what to do… maybe I was just a twisted wretch at my heart from birth and it was because of your presence that I was able to hide my fangs but when you left..”, he coughed more blood, Diluc urged him to stop but he went on, ".. after you left, I had no one who expected me to be an obedient little brother.”
Kaeya tried his best to reach out his fingers to Diluc's cheek but could not.. “Gege.. so don't blame yourself.. I.. I'm happy now", he nuzzled against Diluc and rested his head against Diluc’s laps comfortably, “Let me sleep.. like the days in the orphanage.. when you used to say stories to me.."
“Kaeya.. Kaeya..!", Diluc screamed yet it all felt as if it vanished into thin air as Kaeya continued to mumble, “Gege.. I saw the stars that you described back then.. I still feel that your smile is better than those stars.. do you remember..”
Diluc remembered. He remembered each moment he spent with his little brother.
"It's Gege who didn't protect you well”, Diluc cried out yet the man in his arms only grew more delirious.. "Gege.. I'm sorry.. you.. please don't hate me.. I..”
— “Wrap!", the curtain call came.
“I'm sorry", were the last words in the script yet Diluc’s eyes widened when Kaeya whispered the final words that did not make it to the final cut.
The entire shooting spot froze in silence after shooting the final scene. Diluc’s hand still trembled, he knew the blood was fake, he knew that he could finally shed the role of the big brother who could only watch his little brother walk down the path to hell, but he sat there, unmoving.
Kaeya was worse. He closed his eyes, his lips and fingers still trembling, in his heart the terror of separation still burnt heavily.
The lights came on and everyone gathered started applauding. Diluc was the first to came to his senses though his mind was still clouded with the feeling of losing the closest person to him permanently, his years of experience helped him keep up the expression. When he stood up, Kaeya instinctively hung to him.
The director walked closer and patted Kaeya on the shoulder, “You did well", yet none of those words made sense in Kaeya’s mind, “Sorry, I need some time", with that he gave an apologetic smile before changing to his casual outfit and left the shooting spot in a flash.
“Will he be okay?", the director looked at Kaeya's direction and then at Diluc. It was clear as day that during the day 4 months of shooting, the two actors have grown closer to each other a lot. "He will be”, Diluc really wanted to leave right then and go check up on Kaeya but he was stopped by his manager to thank everyone who worked hard for days in order to complete the filming successfully.
It was 9 at night when Diluc could finally reach the hotel lobby. It was 4 hours since the end of filming and there was a wrapping party scheduled for tomorrow. His steps quickened as he walked closer to Kaeya's room. His hand holding the handle came to a pause and his heart thumped abruptly. An eerie feeling rose in his heart. The filming was already over! He said to himself yet the feelings of opening the room to find a Kaeya wounded and bruised haunted his mind.
Click— the door opened on its own and Kaeya tilted his head with a smile. “You're here?", Kaeya's voice held no sadness or melancholy like it did during the filming. Diluc’s heart settled at the sight.
The filming was really over. They don't have to play the role of the twisted brothers anymore. He walked in, though Kaeya seemed fine, Diluc could sense that there was something off about him. He thus voiced out, “Are you okay?"
“Me?", Kaeya feigned, “Better than ever of course! Gege.. sorry, can I still keep calling you Ge?", no matter how much he wanted to mask his words with mischievousness Diluc could see right through that, “Are you really okay?"
Kaeya smiled— "why not..”, and Diluc walked closer, he was a head shorter than Kaeya but he pulled Kaeya by the collar and pressed his lips against Kaeya’s. “I heard you", he mumbled against Kaeya’s lips.
Kaeya’s final modified words in the script.. “please don't hate me… I love you.” , that was only said for Diluc to hear and nobody else. Just as Diluc expected, Kaeya lost himself too much in the role, he really hasn't snapped out of it. But was Diluc any better?
As the disguise he so hardly put on was finally tore off, Kaeya grabbed Diluc by the waist and deepend his kiss. Clothes shredded, they fell into the bed. “Gege, don't leave me alone this time..", it was not Kaeya, but the voice of the little brother who was never able to confess his love— no, it was not in the script, yet Kaeya and Diluc felt it was the most reasonable course of action.
After all, for two people who only had each other as their oasis in the desert, would they not desperately offer up everything they have to make the other person stay?
And so, they played the final part for the movie, away from the eyes of anybody else. An ending, only Kaeya and Diluc knows. They kissed intensely, using their bodies to show how much they needed the other. Moans and pants filled the room with the cries of “Don't leave me alone", reality clouded with the roles they played, at the height of passion they could not longer tell whether they are still the two actors who are playing the roles in the movie or two brothers who used “acting" as an excuse to lay out their twisted desires.
Yet, all it mattered was that they were right for each other. In the other's arms, everything was perfect. Whether they're the brothers, or the actors, it was all fine as long as it was each other.
— “I love you", they called out louder this time before falling asleep in the other's arms.
When Diluc woke up the next day, he saw Kaeya’s hands wrapped around his waist. Yesterday, he was still a little delirious, unable to say apart from reality and the movie yet now after that night of indulgence, the chapter of the little brother and big brother was finally over.
“Gege..", a hoarse voice sounded near his ear sending his heartbeat into frenzy again.
After last night, Kaeya also felt a lot stable but now there was one more important question in his head.. “you.. do you love me or the younger brother in the script?"
Spot on! That was also Diluc’s question.
He looked at Kaeya, he hesitated at first but when he answered after few minutes he was all the more clear, “I loved the little brother, because it was acted by you”
Indeed. Diluc has been acting for over a decade and in the last five years, he's recognised as the biggest traffic star. What kind of movie has he not acted in before? He has done all kind of sentiments yet his heart never responded to anybody's call like it did with Kaeya’s.
Kaeya smiled, ofcourse a veteran is indeed a veteran and just like that the clouded questions in his head disappeared, and his lips adorned a smile, “Ge..", he pushed Diluc into the bed again, “There's seven hours before the wrap up party.. why don't we—”, taking a mile when given an inch! Diluc wrapped his arms around Kaeya’s shoulder, "Then you better make it quick!”
And thus the next chapter in their story began, this time there was no one to call Cut. They were not that big brother and little brother, they were luckier than them, cause they already found each other before it was too late.
“Is this really not a BL?!", the girl walking out from the theater wiped her tears. The girl holding hands with her broke into a wail, “It's too cruel!!! I need to know the scriptwriter! How can he give them a bad ending like that?!’, she choked on sobs.
The other girl consoled her friend, "We did not even get a kiss…", her friend sobbed, “I want my money back for therapy ah!!"
Another girl from the group of friends who watched the movie together saw these two girls crying and walked to them, “Can we add each other on WeChat or Weibo?. Friends, they might have had a bad ending in this movie but in real life, they are very sweet!!!”
The two girls looked at this person with shining eyes as if blessed by an angel, "Real life?”
"Yes!!”, the new girl replied in excitement, “Kaeluc is real!!! In times like these, just go through the weibo tag for comfort! The alternate endings are all so spicy!"
“Ah?", the girl who was weeping finally wiped away her tears, “Sister, you are really a life savior!”
“Of course! In some time in future, when they confess to each other and get married, we will be OG fans!"
— but what they did not know is that, Kaeya has already put his ring on Diluc’s finger.