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The bathroom is pristine white; glossy, smooth, immaculate. Eve stands in the middle of the wide, open space, dripping red onto the tile. The blood isn't hers, oh no, her blood is a rich, shimmering golden ichor. All of which is safe inside of her veins, her body unmarred and as fit as the day she was created.
Her helmet slides off easily, releasing her long, brown hair to fall down her back, golden wings flicking at the feeling of the wavy strands settling between them. The robe is next to come off, white and gold silk stained with crimson. It pools airily around her feet and she steps out of it, her heels clicking in the silent room.
"You look like you've seen Hell."
Eve turns to her wife, and snorts, "Oh, you're so funny, Lily."
Lilith stands in the doorway, her robes draped elegantly over her porcelain skin, a rich, dark purple that stands stark against her complexion. Her thick, blonde hair is braided, falling over her shoulder. Where Eve is tanned and rugged, Lilith is posed and regal, like an expensive doll that has never been taken out of its box.
"I know." Lilith watches Eve undress, slipping out of her undergarments and unstrapping her filthy boots. Eve turns to her, fully nude now.
"Do you see something you like?"
Lilith smiles, her violet eyes glinting, "Always."
"You should join me in the bath, then, before we have to tally up the numbers. The boys are waiting."
Lilith rolls her eyes, "I don't know why you entertain them."
"It's tradition."
"You don't get pregnant anymore."
"It's fun."
"I suppose if you enjoy mediocrity."
"It keeps them motivated."
Lilith sighs, "That's true. They really are so simple, aren't they."
Eve walks to the bath, which is full with clear, fragranced water. Steam rises up and dances in the sunbeams coming through the lilac stained glass windows. "That's why they're perfect for the job."
"Well, keep them waiting a little longer, won't you?"
Eve steps into the water, then pauses to look over her shoulder, "Give me a reason to, baby."
Lilith laughs and tosses her braid off her shoulder and unties the fastenings on the front of her robe. "Gladly, darling."
Hundreds of masks stare eagerly up at Eve as she stands at the head of the room, raised on an alter. She surveys her army through lowered lashes, relaxed and refreshed from her bath. Her army, well, they clearly did not take this time to bathe or unwind, as all of them were still in uniform and covered with viscera and dirt. Typical.
"All of you put on a great performance, tonight should be a night for celebration. You slaughtered without mercy, our numbers are higher than ever before. A new record!"
The men cheer and whoop. Eve allows them to carry on for a few seconds before raising a hand. Her army falls quiet immediately.
"It was close, this year. Two of you were neck and neck, but only one came out on top with a mere three kills. Number 217, you had the highest kill count this extermination, killing an impressive 436 sinners."
The exorcist known as Number 217 pumps his fist in the air and yells (fuck yes) and Eve smiles.
"Congratulations, you get to fuck me. So why don't you get up here and take what you earned?" Eve reaches down for her soldier as he runs up to the dais and lifts her effortlessly, taking her into his arms. She lifts his mask and kisses him, curling her wings around him as she wraps her legs around his waist. Her robes bunch up around her thighs and she feels his hands roaming, touching every part of revealed skin he can. The other exorcists yell and cheer, feeding off of each other as she gives her top soldier his reward.
Eve reaches down to lift her robe up and over her head as the exorcist holding her kneels so he can hold her in his lap as he unbuttons his uniform's pants. Once her robe is off, the crowd around them gets louder, and she pulls the exorcist back in for a heated kiss, grinding her hips into him, feeling his fingers slip inside her. Her head falls back and she laughs as he sucks the skin on her neck, desperation in the sounds coming from him, in the way his nails dig into the soft, plush meat of her ass as she moves on top of him.
Back in the garden, after Adam had fucked off with Lucifer and fell, God had made her man after man after man, all slightly different versions of the First One, Adam. But they weren't that sad fuck, these were made for her, and they loved her, served her, nearly worshipped her. She made games, created the rules they had to play by, and whoever won was the one who got to get her pregnant. And that's how she lived in the garden, in paradise, with her smoking hot wife, the first woman, and a bunch of Adam clone rip-offs she had wrapped around her finger. She was the mother of all humanity, and she populated the earth her way.
And now, her men were her soldiers in Heaven, following her orders and killing in her name. And best of all, for the third year now, she got to see the devastation and indignation on Adam and Lucifer's faces as she tore apart their pathetic attempt to make a new life, a kingdom of their own.
God, she was so wet.
"Okay, boys," Eve winks at an exorcist over the shoulder of the one she sits on. "It's time to have some fun and let loose..."
She pats the cheek of the soldier beneath her. Let the show begin.
One year later
Lucifer runs his hands through his hair and exhales slowly, his cheeks puffing out as he does. He's pacing in their palace's office, nerves through the roof. Adam sits at his desk with his feet hiked up on the table, ignoring the mess of paperwork crushed under the heels of his boots, as he watches his husband attempt to burn a hole in the floor.
"Adam, what are we supposed to do? They killed so many sinners last year. If they bring that again tonight, we might as well say good bye to our people. No one will be left to worship us, our reign in hell will wane, we'll be left with nothing."
Adam balances a pen on his upper lip, "You are worrying way too much, babe. That bitch isn't going to do shit. She gets her rocks off doing this every year, she won't allow her little boy toys to take every sinner out or else her yearly fun is over."
"Adam! Be serious! She would murder every last sinner if she could. The only thing stopping her is that she runs out of time."
Adam kicks his feet off the desk and jerks forward in his chair, slamming his hands on the desk, the pen clattering onto its surface. "Luci, chill. You're acting like you actually care about sinners, which last time I checked, you don't."
Lucifer scoffs, "That's not the point!"
"Then enlighten me, dear husband of mine, what the point is."
"It's just not fair that... that wench," Adam snorts, Lucifer ignores him, "Gets to come down here and take what is ours just because God has a stick up his ass about the whole apple thing." Lucifer continues in a mocking tone, "It's always you released Original Sin onto humanity, and never gee, thanks, Lucifer for gifting humanity with free will and the ability to dream." Lucifer kicks the small waste basket and pulls his hat down over his head, muffling a scream.
Adam watches Lucifer with amusement. He opens his mouth to tease him but is interrupted by the bell on the top of Heaven's tower ringing out. He looks out the window as a portal in the sky opens up and sighs, exhausted already.
Lucifer runs to the window, his eye glowing red.
"That's it, I'm going out there."
Adam stands up and crosses his arms, "Oh no you're not. The contract forbids us from interfering unless Eve or her army touches you, me, or a hell-born creature."
"The contract is unfair! We didn't have a choice but to agree to it!"
Adam walks over and places his hand on Lucifer's shoulder. The fallen angel turns from the window and looks up at him, the red glow of his eyes dimming when he sees Adam's soft smile.
"Heaven was never fair, was it?"
And that's the thing-- Heaven isn't fair. They cast Lucifer out and banished him to fall into Hell, Adam by his side for biting the fruit. And although Lucifer has made the best of a shitty, shitty situation and ruled over his new kingdom, indulging in all the gifts heaven had forbade- pride, gluttony, greed, wrath... Heaven couldn't help but still butt its stupid fucking nose in Lucifer and Adam's business and say it didn't like what it saw.
The exterminations were not created because of fear of overpopulation and a possible uprising against heaven, no. They were created just because God could. Because Heaven couldn't leave him and Adam alone in peace, to rule over their ring and live out their eternal afterlives.
Lucifer watches Eve herself come down out of the sky, yielding a spear.
The woman who he caught with Lilith behind his and Adam's back. The woman who would not eat the fruit with them. The woman who cried to God that she and Lilith were being tempted by Adam and Lucifer to stray, to sin.
The nerve of God appointing her to lead the exterminations.
A hand to his cheek turns his attention away from the window and back to warm, brown eyes. His shoulders slump and he looks down. "I'm sorry, Adam. This is the fourth time this has happened and I just... hate it. I want them to leave us alone."
Adam rubs his thumb gently against Lucifer's cheek, "I know, Luci." He steps back and closes the curtains, blocking out the sight of the exorcists reeking chaos in their kingdom, their home. "Let's go lay down, okay?" He holds out his hand.
Lucifer takes it and lets Adam lead him out of the office towards their bedroom.
Heaven would pay for this.
One day, he would fix this.