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“Yes it’s quite wonderful, isn’t it?”
Maddie blanks, jaw falling slack at the downright adoring look on Vlad’s face. This is not the reaction she expected when she came to ask about the apparent death threats he has been receiving from none other than that wretch Phantom.
No, she expected eerie calm like he seems to be about everything these days, all cold calculations and sharp glares; or perhaps horror that such a powerful ghost is targeting him. Maybe he would be relieved that she and Jack are coming to his aid.
But no, the mayor seems almost giddy about the issue. This is the softest he’s looked at anything since college and it’s about threats on his life of all things!
“Wonderful?” She grimaces, as if she bit into an especially bitter lemon. “How is being threatened by a ghost wonderful?”
Vlad doesn’t seem to hear her, laughing softly to himself as he shakes his head. “Oh, Maddie. How wonderful it is to see the boy take charge for once! At long last he’s leaving that old ‘goody two shoes’ act in the dirt where it belongs!”
Maddie raises an eyebrow, gawking at her friend.
“He’s finally learning how powerful he really is! How much he has to gain from exerting that power! Not just on me, but on the world! Fudgenutters, the words he comes up with-” A grin splits across Vlad’s face, and he whirls to face her, a manic gleam in his eyes. “Do you want to see?”
“The threats?” Maddie deadpans, beginning to wonder if Vlad is possessed, or if he’s just lost his damn mind.
He nods enthusiastically before walking back behind his desk, the sappy smile never leaving his face. “What else?” He snaps lightly, swiftly removing a thick dossier from one of the drawers. “Just listen to this! ‘If you don’t, I will hang your frozen kneecaps as trophies above my bed’ So creative, isn’t it?”
“Thanks one way to put it-“ Maddie tries to cut in, only for Vlad to steamroll on in his violent praise of the putrid protoplasm’s threats of extreme harm to his person.
“Yes, yes,” He nods sagely, “And this one, ‘I will hogtie you to that gaudy chandelier- fair it is rather overzealous- ‘in your underwear, maybe that will get through your thick skull!’ It's all in the delivery really. See, he even included an illustration for that one!”
Maddie nods slowly, unconsciously shifting towards the office door.
“He really captured the true essence of a threat! The implied promise of repentance. It’s not just in letters either, no he’s getting so much better about following through, it’s just brilliant!”
Maddie nods along, inching towards the exit. “That is lovely, Vlad, but I’m afraid I have to talk to Jack about this… development. Bye!”
“Ah, yes of course…” Vlad hums as the door creaks open, “And, Maddie, one last thing. If you ever do succeed in harming Phantom, his threats will not be the ones you have to worry about. Good day!”
Maddie’s heart is racing as she speeds out of the town hall.