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Talking to Kouyou’s girls on the sly for advice about how to keep Chuuya satisfied was probably something that most people would side eye him for, but as those people were assholes that looked down on the girls' industry, they bore in their skull scummy brains whose opinion Dazai had no interest in paying attention to.
Besides, Kira was currently giving him some really good advice. Dazai didn't know and didn't ask how she knew so much about what males went through while being fucked, because frankly it was none of his business. All he was knew was that her advice was helpful.
"Let me know that you got the link I sent you for the toy you should use while doing your Kegels." She was saying as Dazai listened carefully with the kind of attention usually reserved for only his most detailed plots. "And some vitamin E spread around your rim will not only help keep it flexible and soft, it'll also help make it look all pretty for your boy. Has he ever drawn you a hot bath after you two fuck?"
"Sometimes." Dazai said, blood getting a little hotter as his skin tingled with the memory of Chuuya lowering him into the hot water, running his hands over Dazai's skin with a soft cloth as his worship of Dazai's body continued in a softer, sweeter way.
Kira nodded in satisfaction. "Make sure he gets you some Epsom salts to throw in there every once in a while, they'll be great to help you relax and recover. There's a CBD suppository that a boy I know swears by for a really rough session, so you might want to have those on hand for when things start getting really hot."
Dazai nodded and opened his mouth to ask her something else when his phone rang. Seeing Chibi’s name flash across the screen with the adorable and overly angry caricature of his lover that Dazai had taken pains to draw himself, Dazai rose the phone to his ear after Kira had granted her waving permission for him to answer it.
“Moshi, moshi!”
“Dazai, you were supposed to be at our place two hours ago! Where are you, you slippery fish bastard?! If you’re floating down a river again I’m going to make you wish the water had finished you off!”
Dazai hummed at the sweet sound of his lover’s annoyance. His Chibi cared for him so much.
“Ah, Chuuya, so cruel to your sweet lover! You’ll be embarrassed to know I’m working hard at keeping you a very happy man right now. No need to be harsh when I’m being such a good boy.”
His smile widened at the wordless, spluttering fluster that came through his phone’s speaker shortly after.
“Are you talking about our sex life to Ane-san’s girls again? You rat bastard, I’m really going to kill you this time-!”
“I love you, too, Slug. See you soon~!” Dazai chirped, and then pressed the end call button to Chuuya’s silence. He’d probably frozen after Dazai told him he loved him. He always did, just a little bit. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be annoyed again by the time Dazai got home.
Or so Dazai was counting on, at least.
His fingers were trembling a little, but it definitely wasn’t because of any type of fear. It was delighted anticipation. If his slug was annoyed when Dazai got home- or even still playing at annoyance- he was definitely going to spank him. Dazai was really looking forward to it.
Now eager to rush home, Dazai threw an apologetic look Kira’s way only to be met with lascivious and amused understanding.
"Hey, you go do your thing, baby girl. I got to get back to work myself anyway. You should bring your boy by sometime so I can make absolute certain he's treating you right! I trust Kouyou-sama’s judgement, but she’s too biased when it comes to him. Me and the other girls want to have tea with the two of you."
Chuuya would probably love that, actually. "I will. Keep your schedule open Tuesday afternoon?" He asked.
"Sounds good." She agreed with a grin, already pulling out a compact to touch up her face. Dazai smiled again as he turned and headed home.
Time to go put some of the girls’ good advice to practice.