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He knows he looks at the man as if he had hung the fucking stars in the sky. He can’t help it. It’s not his fault. Absolutely not his fault. It’s not everyday that you make it to Formula One. It’s not everyday that you meet your idols. It’s not everyday that the hottest man you’ve ever seen is standing right in front of you, big smile on, albeit a touch condescending, eyes shining like you’re a new, exciting toy.
Max was at such an age that he felt deeply uncomfortable in his skin and everything made him anxious and got him blushing. His hormones were raging as if he were a pregnant woman unable to take antipsychotics and he way too fucking horny all the time. All in all he was awkward.
His limbs felt too large for his body, he was skinny, not really for his age, but standing next to grown up, adult men, professional athletes all of which were at least five years older than him. Yeah. It wasn’t a good time.
Even Carlos looked big and scruffy next to him. Fuck’s sake.
His voice was wavering and he never sounded normal, his accent was bothering him and for the first time in his life he felt like even his inner thoughts were lisping at him.
So standing in front of not just anybody but Daniel Ricciardo , THE Daniel Ricciardo, was not a good time. It wasn’t a good time for most, let alone an awkward teenager as Max himself was. He was grateful there weren’t too many cameras around to capture this moment. He just knew he looked awful.
He had always admired Daniel. He had watched him race alongside Sebastian and it had been magnificent. He, and everybody else, knew that Daniel was a huge tallent, maybe the generational one if they ever managed to give him a great car. He had always admired Daniel and now that he had met him, briefly talked to him and all that, he also had maybe developed a bit of a man crush on Daniel.
It wasn’t about actually having feelings for the man. It was about appreciation and inspiration. There was Daniel- handsome, fast and confident. He embodied everything that Max aspired and hoped to be one day.
Day by day Daniel was turning into a totem of the sorts and day by day Max’s blush got more and more intense even after something as simple as a wave. Thing is, Daniel waved in a very cool way. It wasn’t awkward and stiff, it was as if he knew his wave was a God-given gift and privilege. People were queuing for his attention, begging on social media and in real life and Max understood it perfectly well. He also sometimes wanted to beg on his knees for the man to give him his secrets to being this nonchalant and great and fast and funny and original and funny and hot… and.
Another thing was… Max had never really had a girlfriend. He had kissed a girl sometime ago and now that he was in Formula One he was definitely getting some attention. He wasn’t neither rich nor famous but he was on his way and so that definitely upped his status on the dating market. He had gone out with a girl but it had been awkward and weird and she had gotten angry at him when he told her that he wouldn’t be taking her home. She was also at least three years older than him. He had almost shit his pants the second he arrived at the restaurant. He wasn’t even old enough to take her to a bar for fuck’s sake. He wasn’t old enough for any bit of it except the racing and sadly that felt like it was the last thing that mattered to way too many people.
Back to his point. Seeing Daniel strut around with a yet another gorgeous model on his arm was fascinating. Max felt some sort of a burning jealousy that he couldn’t quite place and was making him shiver and feel as if there was some goo crawling underneath his skin. They were always quite similar looking. Fucking stunning. Daniel seemed to go after women with darker hair. Women that had no business looking the way they did. Women that were angelic and once Daniel had tried to introduce one of them to Max and Carlos when they were in the paddock.
“This is Jemma! She’s been on and on about how excited she is to see you race!” Max had blushed harder than ever before and wished for the ground to open up beneath him and swallow him whole. Maybe he could open up a secret tunnel and disappear. Maybe he could run away and hide so that no one had to look at the mess he was.
“I don’t think my parents would’ve ever let me drive a normal car, let alone those monstrosities at seventeen!” She joked and Max watched Daniel laugh and wrap an arm around her waist. The joke wasn’t funny. Max still smiled.
Many people started driving lessons at seventeen and also. The cars weren’t monstrosities ! They were beautiful, fast and powerful. The sound of the engines was far off of what a V10 used to be like but it was still the most beautiful melody Max had ever heard. And sure. He was young but she had no business trying to make fun of that. He was the youngest! Something that no one could take away from him. Not her. Not Daniel. No one!
He had excused himself and his eyes watered as he imagined what Daniel must think of him after the brief and awful exchange. He almost ran back and apologised but his dad was quickly throwing an arm over his shoulders and leading him away, words already laced with venom, being spat away.
So yeah. He had this weird adoration for Daniel and wished to be just like him. He wanted to be Daniel’s friend and go to clubs and flirt with the hot chicks. He wanted to ride in nice sport’s cars and have a model girlfriend just like Daniel.