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Love, Yosuke has found, really freaking hurts.

It’s something inevitable and irrepressible; unyielding and unrelenting. To carve out a piece of your heart for someone else is to make it grow twice its size with care, or slowly wither with neglect. And Yosuke Hanamura’s heart in particular had always been huge, always willing to make space for others. That hadn't always worked out well for him in the past. It was his burning passion that left him so vulnerable to pain—and heartbreak.

But it’s different now. Yosuke could finally say with certainty that his heart felt safe, and that was all thanks to one person. 

“Yu!”

At the sound of his name, the silver-haired boy turned. All around him, the brutal TV world they’d once traversed was completely gone, replaced with a tranquil oasis. Yosuke was certain now, the fog over Inaba was surely lifted. As if there were ever any doubt that his partner would be able to pull it off.

Deep in his heart, Yosuke was pretty sure he’d always loved Yu Narukami. Until Yu came along, there'd been no one in his life who understood him, trusted him, and felt like a true friend and partner. Yu was his best friend, but if you asked Yosuke if there was anything else, it would have been a hard no. And sure, Yu was always kind to him—making him lunches, passing answers in class, and generally being patient as a saint with his ridiculous adolescence-fueled antics. And yeah, the thought of the guy Yosuke hurled himself in death's way for countless times whilst fighting alongside him, suddenly up and getting a girlfriend? It bothered him more than he'd like to admit.

It had to be love—Yosuke could no longer deny it. He was like his other half, and they were so entwined in fates and futures that it was almost hard to tell where one of them ended and the other began. All roads lead to sanctuary with the other’s company. How could it be anything other than love? 

Not like that, though, Yosuke’s brain supplied helpfully. He chuckled to himself at the sight of Yu’s confidant grin despite his certainly beaten-down appearance, made even more obvious with his glasses free from his face. But as he tried to stand, and his legs began to buckle from sudden exhaustion, he was steadied by familiar hands.

“Easy there,” Yu’s voice came from above. 

And like a bolt of lightning, pain and shock and pleasure shot through Yosuke at once.

Oh no, Yosuke thought, strangely numb. It’s definitely like that.

It was hard to tell for certain, but he was pretty sure that his best friend just slaughtered a god while the rest of them were unconscious. Stranger things have clearly happened. 

“You alright, Yosuke?”

The tense feeling in his chest was suffocating. Was it disappointment, at his oft-proven stupidity? Was it joy, from such a realization? Was it shame, from his own inferiority? He began to sway, disoriented. 

Why…? Why did it have to be you? And why did I have to be me?

He couldn’t lie to Yu. Instead, Yosuke gathered all his remaining strength and hugged the taller boy with all the emotion he could muster. The brief exclamation of surprise from Yu went unnoticed as he hugged him back with a quiet laugh. Yosuke bit down on his tongue hard enough for it to bleed.

Love really freaking hurts.

~*~

May 9—20:43

>> Back home safe.

>> gr8! get n e sleep on th train?

>> Not really. Couldn’t stop thinking about you guys.

>> aww. mis us alredy prtnr?

>> You know I do. 

>> Gotta hit the books now.

>> ugh whyd u hav 2 rmind me?? 

>> If you want to get serious, now is the time before it’s too late.

>> y bothr

>> ur gna gt in2 todai r kyodai n m nvr gna c u agen (¬ ¬) 

>> Who said I wanted to go there?

>> um duh ur th genius

>> That doesn’t mean I want to go somewhere prestigious.

>> There are other universities that can provide the education I need for my career.

>> look @ u w career plans

>> im stil kinda lost idk

>> That’s not true.

>> We’re young. You’re allowed to take time for yourself and figure things out.

>> wat if i go to uni w u

>> I would be partial to that.

>> But is that what you want?

>> ur a gud influenc mayb ur smartnss wil rub off on me

>> Is that really the only reason?

>> u caut me. i mis ur lunchs (´Д`)

>> I knew that already.

>> jerk

>> but 4 rl idk wat id do w/o u so

>> sry tht souns lame

>> I understand.

>> Study hard, partner. We’ll make it through together, like we always do.

~*~

Golden Week had come and gone, and the senior members of the former Investigation Team were all collectively faced with a new common struggle: college entrance exams. Though the dates seemed months away, that didn’t detract in the slightest from the fact that studying needed to start as soon as possible if they had any hopes of achieving their university goals. 

Yukiko, despite her consistent academic accolades, fretted an unhealthy amount. The still-ongoing summer meant the inn was still flooded with guests, finding her finite amounts of time to even breathe, let alone study. She convinced herself it was manageable despite how at some point she completely forgot what day of the week it was. Her friends among the staff began to notice the cracks upon her usually immaculate appearance; her baggy eyes often looked through people instead of at them. The moment she knew it had gotten beyond any semblance of control was when intervention came from the most unexpected of places.

“Trust me, I’ll get you whatever you want from the food court.”

Yukiko sighed, tapping her pen on a densely woven web of cursive handwriting before her. “That really isn’t as appealing as you think it is, Yosuke.”

The boy frowned, his dejected gaze falling down to his own mess of scribbles. “That’s the tactic I always use on Chie…”

“It really isn’t necessary, though I appreciate the thought,” Yukiko replied kindly.

“I’m the one who asked you to come out here and help me study,” Yosuke reminded her. “The least I can do is buy you some semi-decent food for the afternoon.”

“If you’re so insistent on returning this favor, allow me some time to think about an appropriate gift.”

“Uh,” Yosuke grimaced slightly. “Something about that tone makes me nervous.”

So that was how every other one of Yukiko’s Saturday afternoons became designated for tutoring her friend for the fast-approaching exams. It was actually mutually beneficial at times, which came as a surprise. Yosuke wasn’t too much of a nag when it came to studying since he was clearly well aware it had been his request to begin with. (Though that didn’t mean there weren’t moments.) 

At present, Yosuke had a pencil pinched between his nose and upper lip in a bizarre expression of concentration, as he used the butt of a pen to scratch a spot on his head. Yukiko was visibly trying not to laugh out loud and take at least five pictures of the scene and send them to Chie immediately. She covered her mouth with a snort when Yosuke tried itching his face and drew a line of blue ink across his cheek.

“What is it?” Yosuke snapped petulantly.

“Y– your, your face,” Yukiko choked on another guffaw, slowly pulling her phone from her bag.

“What’s wrong with my face?” Yosuke asked. “Don’t you even dare take a picture!” But of course, it was too late. Yukiko was laughing almost maniacally, attracting more than a few stares from surrounding Junes customers. Yosuke face-planted into the table. 

“I have no idea how people ever got the impression you were nice,” Yosuke muttered. 

“This is sufficient payment for our session today,” Yukiko told him, pleased. She was typing wildly on the keypad, definitely messaging Chie.

“How gracious,” Yosuke responded sarcastically, rubbing his face without any actual idea of what was wrong with it. Somehow, his efforts were eventually successful in removing the ink mark. With one last sigh, he returned to his practice workbook, drilling logarithms until numbers and letters began to distort and blur. 

After another hour had passed and Yukiko decided they’d done enough work for the day, the two began to walk home. On the way, she finally said, “Hey, I never asked. Why did you ask me to help you study for exams?”

Yosuke raised a brow. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well in all honesty, it never seemed like you were all that invested in studying in the past, let alone with me.”

“Ouch, but fair,” Yosuke reasoned, albeit with his pride a bit more bruised than it was a second ago. 

“Not to mention, you seem to be grasping the concepts rather well,” Yukiko added honestly. 

“I’m stupid, but I’m not dumb,” Yosuke told her, causing Yukiko to squint at him slightly. “I just mean–! I know this may be hard to believe, but I actually had good grades before I moved out here.”

“You’re right, it is hard to believe.”

“Man, you don’t sugarcoat anything, do you,” Yosuke commented with a wince. “But, yeah. I wasn’t amazing, like you or Yu, but I managed fine. Then we moved out here and I stopped caring. I didn’t have any control over my life, so why give a shit about how my grades are when none of it really matters in the end? My parents thought I was still just adjusting to being out here and I didn’t correct them.”

Yukiko pondered this. “So what’s different now?”

Yosuke folded his hands behind his head as they walked. “Last year—the murders, the TV world, us as a group. For the first time in… probably my whole life, the future became something I felt like I wanted. I wanted to at least take a chance at something good. If only learning English were as easy as fighting shadows, though…”

Though she understood the sentiment, Yukiko couldn’t help but say, “Regardless, depending on which university you’re aiming for, it’ll be an uphill battle for you with your current grades. Did you have plans for a specific school?”

“I guess anywhere that’ll take me,” Yosuke said, frowning. “And Yu—well, he can get in anywhere, probably, but it’d be cool if I could go with him, I guess.” He averted his eyes for a moment. 

“Hm,” Yukiko thought aloud. “I see… so that’s the real reason you’re studying so hard.”

“It’s not like–!” Yosuke tried to argue, “Look, I know I haven’t been doing so hot in school. That’s entirely on me! I know I’d be the worst kind of person if I ended up going to school with him again just to use him as a crutch. It’s not just about the school. It’s… me.”

Yukiko blinked at the boy’s admission. “It’s a truly thoughtful prospect, Yosuke.”

“Um, sure. Though, I guess you weren’t entirely wrong. I wanna be by his side, y’know? College is… scary. But with him around, I feel like everything might turn out okay.”

Yukiko knew that feeling far too well.

“…Hey, uh, be honest. Do you think I could have a shot?”

Yukiko’s curiosity piqued for a moment at that particular wording. “A shot? At what, exactly?”

“Getting into a good school, I guess,” Yosuke answered. “And I, um. I know I just said I was willing to take my chance, but, well… I guess I feel like you would know best about responsibilities. Do you think I could even make it that far?”

Yukiko was still reeling from the way her brain conjured a very different question coming from her friend’s mouth. Nonetheless, she considered this one seriously. “That’s not something I can say for you. If you’re willing to work hard and possibly struggle more than you ever have for the chance for something good, I am one to believe those goals can be achieved. You should have much more confidence in yourself, Yosuke.”

The boy started to blush. “Um, thanks. I’ll do my best.”

Yukiko hummed. “What was your potential field of study again?”

“I don’t even want to think about it,” Yosuke mumbled miserably. “I mean, at the very least, I should consider myself lucky that my parents are willing to let me pursue whatever I want.”

“If I recall correctly, you always favored the sciences, right?”

“Sure,” Yosuke conceded, “but I dunno what kind of career I could go for. I’m sure as hell not gonna be a doctor.”

“Maybe not, but you’re also quite good around strangers,” it’s almost enviable, she didn’t add, “I could see you in the kind of business that involves helping people.”

“Well,” Yosuke shrugged tiredly, “if you can think of a job like that while taking into account my current grades, I’m all ears.”

“Nonetheless, it’s a start,” Yukiko smiled, a bit teasing.

More than that, though, she was still stuck on the fact that she’d misinterpreted Yosuke’s question a moment ago, convinced he was going to ask if he had a shot with Yu. A question she already knew the answer to, in fact. She wasn’t going to tell Yosuke this, though. She felt an odd sense of pride for her friend, wondering if she could help him along discreetly…

~*~

June 12—16:51

…

>> did u c th nu mv tho??

>> It’s out already?

>> yea!!! droppd ths mrn i ws losin my minnd lmost l8 fr skool

>> That’s not good. 

>> wel i made it so s fyn! 

>> cant w8 til th albums out m gna play on loop frvr

>> I’ll watch in a bit.

>> I still have to listen to their other albums in full, but from what you’ve shown me they’re pretty good. I’m looking forward to this as well.

>> we shud lisn 2gethr! wnt ur lyv react (*v*)

>> I’ll let you know when I’ve finished my homework.

>> ugh stuk @ wrk til clos

>> mayb nthr dy (TT)

>> No worries. Let me know when and I’ll clear my schedule for you.

>> ur 2 much prtnr (///)

>> What do the slashes mean?

>> nthn dnt wry

~*~

Yosuke was seriously going to get caught at work. Here he was in the storeroom on a stack of crates (not sure what was in them, but it was holding his bodyweight so he wasn’t complaining), texting his best friend. He didn’t even consider how odd he might look right now: Junes apron still on but a broom in the gap between his side and his arm, typing with both hands on his phone, his legs kicking every once in a while with a goofy grin on his face. Honestly, he was begging for a lecture.

“Yosuke, there you are!”

Dammit. Busted.

He quickly shoved his phone in his pocket, even though it was a useless move. Luckily, the one who’d found him wasn’t really gonna give him too much of a hassle. Hopefully.

“Yep, I’m up, Ted,” Yosuke assured, standing. He smoothed out his pants to make himself look a bit more presentable. “Just had to rest my legs for a bit.”

“You looked so happy for a minute, Yosuke,” Teddie observed with his usual giant grin. “Texting Sensei again?”

“Watch it,” Yosuke warned half-heartedly. 

Teddie just giggled cartoonishly, hand covering his mouth. “And you’re closing tonight, too! Sucks to be you!”

“Glad to hear you take so much pleasure from my suffering,” Yosuke groaned. “Go on, take your break, I’ll head back to the floor.”

“Are you sure? But Kao-chan just finished her shift so there’s no one in appliances.”

“Damn,” Yosuke scratched his head. “I can handle that and hang around the produce area. You haven’t taken your break and it’s almost 5. I don’t need you passing out at work on my conscience.”

“You’re too kind, Yosuke,” Teddie said mildly, but there was an air of honesty about it. “Have you taken your break?”

“Yeah, at noon. I’ve got the 12 hour shift, remember?”

“What?! How did you get that schedule?”

“I took it ‘cause I knew no one else would. We don’t have enough staff for me to start complaining.”

“Oh, Yosuke,” Teddie frowned.

“Get out of here,” Yosuke shooed him out. “It’s fine. Besides, I want to save up money anyway.”

“Okay,” but Teddie didn’t really sound all that convinced.

About an hour later, when Teddie was scheduled to end his shift and head out, the blonde boy was still stocking dairy.

“Yo, it’s 6,” Yosuke reminded him when he passed by. 

“Oh, I’m going to stay a little longer,” Teddie said.

“Sure, alright,” Yosuke replied warily. “But let Mom and Dad know or they’ll be on my case.”

“You got it!”

Another hour passed, and Teddie was still here.

“Uh, not that I’m not grateful…” Yosuke started.

“I’m gonna stay until your shift ends, okay Yosuke?”

“I mean, it’s nothing off my back, you’re the one working,” Yosuke told him. “Are you sure you don’t want dinner? I think Mom was making oden.”

“That does sound good,” Teddie put a hand on his stomach. Then he shook his head quickly. “I can wait. I’ll stay with you.”

“Um,” Yosuke didn’t really know how to react. “Okay.”

A few more hours passed, and less and less customers came through their doors. Yosuke thought it was pretty safe for them to take a short break. It was a humid summer night, and Yosuke and Teddie were eating leftover shaved ice from the food court that they would’ve had to throw out anyway.

“This is nice,” Teddie said first.

“Yeah,” Yosuke agreed. He took another few crunchy bites of his ice. “Hey, uh, thanks for sticking around. You really didn’t have to.”

“I was happy to! I know Sensei would’ve wanted me to help out. He was always really nice like that.”

Yosuke sighed, gnawing on his spoon a bit. “Yeah.”

“Plus, I know he would want me to cheer you up.”

“Hm?” Yosuke turned to the other boy, raising a confused brow.

“I know you’ve been sad since Sensei went back home. You’ve been studying a lot with Yuki-chan and taking all these big shifts, like you want to ignore that he’s not here anymore.”

Yosuke’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak, then bit his lip in hesitation. “I mean, everyone’s been taking it kinda hard. It’s just taking a little longer for me to get over it, I guess.”

“I’m sad too,” Teddie admitted. “But I’m happy. Sensei might not be here now but I still get to see everyone! I get to make everyone smile like I used to, and I know he would be proud of me.”

“You really look up to him, huh,” Yosuke managed with a huff of a laugh. “Figures you’d still be calling him Sensei.”

“Well of course! I thought he was so cool and powerful on the other side, but even in this world I was so amazed by all he could teach me.”

“Teach you? About what?”

“Well,” Teddie seemed a bit nervous about saying. He tilted his head, tapping his foot on the ground nervously. “About being human.”

Yosuke blinked for a moment, shocked. “Oh yeah?” His words were barely audible even to his own ears. He cleared his throat before he spoke up again, “How’s… how’s that been going for you?”

“Pretty good,” Teddie was back to smiling, kicking his legs back and forth like a little kid. “Maybe scary sometimes, but still good.”

A thought came in Yosuke’s mind, then, that he knew would not leave. He took a breath before he asked, “So what do you think… being human’s all about, then? From what you’ve learned.”

Teddie seemed to ponder this seriously. “Being human is about… changing. Yeah, that’s what I think.”

Yosuke couldn’t help but snort. “Think you could elaborate?”

Teddie started to pout in concentration again. “Over in my world, things don’t ever really change. Which is nice, but I like it here, too. The moon changes every night, and the grass and trees change colors. And I changed into a boy!”

“Yeah, you definitely did,” Yosuke ruffled Teddie’s hair.

Teddie’s hands flew to his head to slap Yosuke’s hands away with a weak cry. The taller boy just laughed. 

When they settled down again, Teddie said, “I wouldn’t have been able to change without everyone’s help. Including you, Yosuke.”

Yosuke huffed in disbelief. “Really?”

“Of course!”

Yosuke drew his knees up into his chest. He thought about Yu, about the complete 180 in personality he had from when he’d first arrived compared to the day he departed. About how Yosuke was pretty sure he loved Yu even more for it. “Do you think… I can change too?” He asked aloud.

“Sure you can!”

Right. He almost forgot about the bear.

Nonetheless, though… “Thanks, Ted. Maybe I’ll ask for some help with that.”

“Hey, Yosuke?”

“Yeah?”

“I think someone just walked in. With a cart.”

“For the love of– It’s 5 minutes to closing!”

~*~

June 24—23:52

*Call Ended. Time: 03:47:26*

>> Go to bed, Yosuke.

>> hwd u no i ws stil up???

>> I know you. You get restless when there’s a new Jump issue the next day.

>> Also you just told me. Both on the phone and just now.

>> meany

>> ur not so tuff

>> I’ll tell Teddie.

>> DNT U DARE

>> Go to sleep. 

>> ths is blakmail

>> You don’t know what that means.

>> srsly? m i usn it wrng?

>> Yes.

>> 2 tird 4 ths -_-

>> Sleep well. The issue will be there in the morning.

>> u dnt no tht!! it cud be gon wen i get thr!!

>> prtnr r u slp

>> dmn

>> nyt sry 4 kpn u up

June 25—06:05

>> I don’t mind.

~*~

Okina is a fine enough city for some shopping, Naoto supposed. It wasn’t like they did it recreationally like some of their other female peers, but they could admit that it was fun sometimes. If, that is, they actually knew what they were looking for.

“Maybe I should’ve invited Yukiko or Chie-senpai,” Naoto mused under their breath. 

“Oh, hey, that you, Naoto-kun?”

Anyone else would’ve been preferable, Naoto sighed. “Yes, hello Yosuke-senpai.” 

“I’m glad I was able to catch you—I was hoping we could talk. If you’re not busy that is, though it’s tough to catch you these days as it is…”

“You wanted to speak with me…?” They noticed a small plastic bag in one of his hands. “You stopped by the bookstore?”

Yosuke lifted the bag. “Ah, yeah—good eye. Just got some manga though. What are you lookin’ for?”

“I’m… not sure. I unfortunately don’t have an eye for fashion or design, so… I don’t really know what exactly would be my style.”

“Oh, yeah, I get that,” Yosuke scratched the back of his head. Somehow, Naoto doubted this. “Can’t really help much with that, myself. Well, anyway, if you’ve got things to do I won’t hold you up. We can chat another time. Later!”

Yosuke turned to leave. Naoto watched him go, vaguely grateful for his departure. In the next moment, though, they remembered how Yukiko had recently mentioned that Yosuke might need some help with something very important, requesting they try to investigate. Naoto took a long breath just short of an already exhausted sigh. “Yosuke-senpai, please wait one moment.”

Yosuke turned back around, curious. “Hm? Yeah, what’s up?”

“I, um…” Naoto tried coming up with a decent excuse to hold possibly the first one-to-one conversation they’d ever had with the older boy. “What kind of manga did you buy?” That was awful. 

“Man, I should be the one asking you about books—I’ve been kicking my own ass for weeks prepping for college entrance exams,” he chuckled to himself. “Why? You curious about what kind of stuff I read?”

“Well, ah… a bit. I-I don’t read manga much and since I haven’t had much luck on this front, perhaps if I left with a recommendation, this trip won’t have been completely fruitless.” That was even worse.

Yosuke’s eyes lit up nonetheless. “For real? I mean, I’ve kinda just been reading whatever’s popular—I don’t have anyone to recommend things anymore since I’ve told Yu about basically everything I’ve ever read. It’s funny, I used to give some to Chie, before I found out that she just likes reading boring shoujo crap with Yukiko. You’d think with all the kung-fu movies she watches she’d like at least one battle manga, but she thinks they all feel the same, or whatever. The double standard is crazy, I’m telling you.” 

By this point they’re already walking through the generally populated streets, Yosuke’s words starting to blur with the conversations all around them in the summer crowds of the city. Naoto hadn’t managed to get another word in during Yosuke’s long-winded ramble, and they’re still firmly under the impression he’s acting pretty much normal—not at all like someone with something major weighing on their mind that required assistance. Still, though, the way he’d just tried to walk away when they’d been looking at accessories… didn’t it seem more in-character for him to at least voice his own opinion about it? 

“Sorry, I’ve been going on for a while. Any kind of genre you were interested in?”

Yes, this was definitely strange.

“Not really,” that much was true enough. 

“I was gonna say you might like mysteries, but that seems a little too on the nose,” Yosuke said. “I’ve been getting a bit more into seinen lately. Ever heard of Trigun?”

The title alone sounded nothing like something Naoto would ever read. But it did launch Yosuke into another monologue about things Naoto could hardly follow about genres and anime and common audiences. He concluded this by saying, “but who knows? Maybe you’re into that girly stuff too. I mean, you were looking awful hard at those hair ornaments earlier. Looking to impress someone?”

“I… w-well…” While this comment was much more what Naoto had been expecting out of the older boy, they still found themself caught off-guard. What exactly were they supposed to say in response to this?

Yosuke continued, “I remember not that long ago you were super attached to the male school uniform, y’know. What made you change your mind?”

Naoto practically grit out, “N-nothing in particular…”

The boy laughed then, “Trust me, you don’t have to do anything special to get people’s eyes on you. Like, seriously. Though, you could do with growing a few inches, squirt.”

Naoto stopped walking. Yosuke paused a few paces ahead, hands still behind his head in a relaxed pose. “Naoto-kun?”

This was the exact reason she found herself so uncomfortable talking to Yosuke. No matter what, he never thought over what he said, never wondered if it’s ever… “Enough.”

Yosuke’s eyes went wide. “Huh?”

“Why do you constantly do this? It seems like with everyone you’re around you just can’t help but make some sort of jab at them.” Naoto’s voice remained perfectly level as they said this, but inside their heart was racing. 

“Uh– Oh. Well, I…” Yosuke trailed off. “I mean, if you’re really pissed about me calling you that, I’ll stop, really. Sorry.”

Naoto exhaled harshly, shaking their head. “That’s not the point. You do this sort of thing with everyone. You push their buttons and don’t care when they’re clearly irritated.” 

“H-hey, don’t get the wrong idea,” Yosuke argued weakly. “It’s not like I’m, I don’t know, a bully. The teasing is pretty mutual, I’d say.”

“It’s the way you do it, though,” Naoto clarified, voice steadily raising in volume. “You specifically go for things they’re sensitive about. Don’t you even care?”

“Of course I do,” Yosuke tried, “and it’s not like they don’t have equal ammunition on me…”

“So you wouldn’t care if someone else insulted you?”

Yosuke just gave a mildly annoyed face, barely hiding his uncertainty. “Not sure if you remember, but I work in customer service. I’ve basically faced every form of verbal abuse in the book.”

Naoto tilted their head, carefully evaluating this response. “So that’s what it is? You’re frustrated so you like taking it out on everyone else.”

The older boy started to shift on his feet, swaying unconsciously and fidgeting with his hands. “That’s not… Is this some sort of interrogation or something? I mean, I know I said I wanted to talk, but this… wasn’t exactly what I had in mind…”

Refusing to avert their eyes, Naoto explained, “I wouldn’t have had the courage to do this in front of the others, but I didn’t know when else I would get the opportunity to speak to you alone.”

“So you were… waiting for this?”

“Not exactly,” Naoto admitted. “But the opportunity arose, and I wasn’t going to waste it.”

“You… you really hate me, don’t you,” Yosuke mumbled.

“It’s… not like that,” they retracted, finally feeling that brief rush of adrenaline begin to die down. “I know how much Yu-senpai respects you, and I too respect you as a part of the team. So as a teammate, I feel I have a duty to be honest.”

“But not as a friend,” Yosuke clarified.

“That’s… that’s not it either…” Naoto stuttered, before clearing their throat. “Consider… with your friends, doesn’t it feel bad when they remind you of your faults and insecurities?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I–” Naoto scoffed in genuine disbelief. “Are you truly unbothered when people talk down to you?”

“I mean,” Yosuke seemed to be in deep thought, brows drawn together. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care, but I’m not gonna let every single thing bother me. People have been crapping on me about being the Junes kid since the second I got here.”

“What about your friends before Inaba?”

“It was kinda the same,” Yosuke said, now appearing somewhat uncomfortable. “We all knew each other well enough that it felt okay to go after those kinds of things. And maybe it kinda bothered me once in a while but it didn’t really ‘cause it all went around. Friends do that kind of stuff.”

“But–” Naoto frowned. “How can you even call others your friends when all they do is insult you?”

Yosuke went quiet.

“Aren’t they…” Naoto continued, softer now. “Supposed to support you? And help you? If all you have between you are cheap shots on each other’s pride while hiding behind each other’s insecurities… aren’t you just burying the rest of yourself?”

Yosuke’s head turned away. His body was oddly stiff.

Naoto called out, “Y-Yosuke-senpai?”

“Is that all?” It was such an odd tone that Naoto couldn’t really pinpoint the emotion behind it.

“I’m sorry?”

“You had a point going. Was… that it?”

“I… It was,” Naoto confirmed, not sure what else to say. 

Yosuke faced Naoto again. They stifled a gasp at the glassiness of his eyes, his small yet defeated smile. “Thanks, Naoto-kun. For telling me this. I’ve gotta get going now, but… if you don’t mind, I’d really like to talk again soon. Seeya.”

They watched him walk towards the direction of the train station without another word. Naoto felt their feet frozen in the ground the whole time, both in awe and confusion at what had transpired.

~*~

June 30—14:47

*Call ended. Time: 00:19:26*

>> Everything alright?

>> ll gd. y u ask?

>> You sounded stressed but I know you had to run to your shift.

>> Anything I can do to help?

>> not if ur not here w me

>> nah s k

>> If you say so.

>> jus got alot on my mind

>> dnt wry bt me

>> You know me, I can’t help it. 

>> Nanako calls it my “big brother instinct.”

>> wel thn

>> n e advis 4 me niisan?

>> Please, don’t call me that.

>> Maybe fishing?

>> sry

>> w8 wat

>> That always helped me get my mind off of things.

>> ??

>> u no i h8 fish

>> lso i hav no pole

>> It’s not about catching anything. It’s just relaxing. And if you do you can just throw it back in.

>> Where do you plan to go? Samegawa? 

>> I’ll let Uncle know you’re borrowing mine.

>> fair

>> w8 wut do u mean wher

>> wher els wud i go

>> did u fish in th fkn ocean?????

~*~

Rise had been in and out of Inaba for a lot of the summer, what with some modeling work and such. It was a strange comfort to be back in such a quiet place, but it mostly came with the safety of monotony. Which was why she was at least slightly alarmed at seeing a familiar headphone-adorned head at the Samegawa with a fishing pole in his hands on a Saturday afternoon.

“Um, Yosuke-senpai?”

“AH! Oh my gosh,” Yosuke startled, his headphones falling off his head and back around his neck at an asymmetrical angle. “Rise? Wow, didn’t know you were back this weekend. How’s it going?”

“Um, pretty normal, compared to…” her eyes tentatively trailed back towards the fishing rod. “Fishing?” 

“Huh? Oh, yeah! I’m taking a break from studying, Yu actually recommended it. I’m no good at it but I’ve gotta admit it's pretty peaceful.”

“I see,” Rise laughed, though a bit forced.

A grumbling sound was heard between the two of them. “Yikes,” Yosuke said immediately, hand clutching his stomach. “I’ve been sitting here so long I forgot to eat anything. Damn. Um, hey, Rise.”

“Yes?”

“Are you busy? Or, uh, rather, could you eat?” Yosuke asked with a nervous grin. “I’m thinkin’ Aiya? My treat.”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t…” 

“Then we could hit up Souzai Daigaku,” Yosuke supposed.

“The choice in food wasn’t really the issue…” Rise tried to say.

“Then Aiya it is! C’mon, are you really turning down free food here?”

Rise couldn’t help but crack a smile. Yeah, some things really never changed. “Sure thing, senpai.”

She really couldn’t say exactly what her thoughts were on Yosuke. He was weird, sure, but he was a teenage boy who was easy to navigate conversation with since he was predictable. Of course, she’d always preferred Yu, and didn’t really take a specific liking to Yosuke, especially since it was obvious from the start he was a fan.

On the way, Yosuke predictably mentioned, “So I heard you’ve started up with Risette again and everything. How’s that going?”

“Pretty well right now,” Rise answered calmly. “I’m kind of starting from the ground up again, but that’s alright with me for now. I don’t really think I could handle all those things at once right out the gate again. B-but don’t worry, I’m really working hard to make my next album great.”

Yosuke smiled wide. “Glad to hear it! Trust me, when that album hits shelves, I’m gonna be first in line to grab a copy.”

Rise sort of froze in her tracks before responding, “ah, thank you.”

The older boy must have realized his word choice because he immediately backtracked, saying, “And, um, listen, I’m not just saying that ‘cause I’m a fan, okay? I’m pretty damn sure the whole gang is gonna be at the front of that line, even if we get caught in the pouring rain or freezing snow. ‘Cause you’re our friend, and we wanna support you.”

Rise blinked in surprise, momentarily at a loss for words. “I… that means a lot.”

When they arrived at the restaurant, they both took seats at the counter.

“I’ll take a nikudon, please,” Yosuke ordered for himself.

“And I’ll have a curry udon,” Rise said next.

A couple minutes later and their orders were ready. Aika graciously laid down both bowls in front of them in her normal, vaguely stoic tone. “Here you are.”

“Looks great! As always,” Yosuke took his own bowl as well as a pair of chopsticks. “Thanks for the food!”

Rise calmly started eating her own food as well. They were the only two patrons at the restaurant at the time, likely because of the strange hour in between lunch and dinnertime. She hazarded a glance over at Yosuke, who was definitely stuffing his face with meat, but there was also a strange, somewhat melancholic look in his eye that seemed out of place on his face.

“Hey, senpai,” she said, and the other boy looked up. “You miss Yu-senpai a lot, don’t you.”

It was hardly a question. Yosuke just looked back at his bowl with a half-smile, his chopsticks still in the air. “That obvious?” 

The lack of response was already his answer.

They both continued to eat, though Yosuke now lost some of his previous vigor.

“Y’know, I’ve never told anyone else this,” Yosuke started. “But I really used to hate it out here. When we first moved, it felt like just another unfamiliar place. Then, when he showed up… it finally started feeling like my home. And everywhere I looked, it was almost like I’d see him there—but now, he’s…”

Rise watched as he trailed off silently. Without knowing what to say, she decided not to reply. This was… odd. In the few conversations the two had, never had it gone like this. In all honesty, there’d been a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that couldn’t help but doubt that Yosuke had asked to eat with her on simply a whim. Now that Yu was gone… was he really the kind of person to approach Rise like this?

The two went back to eating and after a long while of silence, Yosuke kept his word and paid for both of their meals.

Right as they headed out the door, Yosuke said, “Hey, do you, um, have a minute to talk?”

That question alone was oddly ambiguous, which left Rise conflicted. After a second, she replied, “yeah, sure.” She was strong enough now to handle whatever was to come.

They ended up at some benches not too far from the shrine. The warm air was mild, with no breeze to ease the silence between their words. 

“About Yu,” Yosuke began, “I bet you miss him a lot too.”

Rise sighed. “Yeah, definitely.”

“You two, um–”

“We tried– Well, I tried,” Rise explained, tucking some hair behind her ear self-consciously. “It wasn’t… we didn’t work out.” 

“Oh, um. Sorry,” Yosuke mumbled. “I know that was weird to ask.”

“It’s okay,” Rise assured, though in her mind she dreaded the boy’s next words.

“It’s just that, well,” Yosuke looked away, perhaps flustered. “God I suck at this,” he muttered to himself quickly. “I could really use your help with something. But, before that… I owe you an apology.”

Rise blinked quickly, “What for?”

“I guess… for a while I couldn’t stop looking at you like you were Risette, and it made me act really weird around you. And, yeah, I know that is you literally but it wasn’t at the same time,” Yosuke shrugged uselessly, “I think… I totally failed all you first-years if I’m being honest. I’m not nearly the responsible, role-model senpai like the others.”

Rise was definitely surprised by this turn of events, and even more so by a feeling of familiarity and understanding in her chest. Her eyes slipped shut in contemplation before she replied, “It’s just not the role that comes naturally to you.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“The role of perfect senpai just isn’t meant for you,” Rise explained. “It’s just not the way that you show your true self to the world. For me, I used to think Risette was all an act. But I know better now that she’s the kind of person that people look up to and trust… because that’s the way I want to reach out to others. You’re the kind of guy who laughs all the time, who cracks jokes when we’re all down to lighten the mood. The role that comes easiest to you is the one that tries to make people smile.”

Yosuke’s mouth formed into a pout, though he was thoughtful. “A role, huh? So does that mean it’s just… impossible to break?”

“Why do you say that?”

“A-ah, well,” Yosuke pulled at his bangs awkwardly. “It’s nothing, really. Just that… I’m not sure I like that version of me all that much anymore. The way it comes so easily, yet… When the words come out of my mouth, I wish I’d never even said anything.”

“I understand completely,” Rise said honestly.

Yosuke took a breath, “Whew. Well, uh,” he said in a rush of air, “This is probably the weirdest conversation you’ve had in your life.”

Rise scoffed with a light smirk, “I’d take this any day over a TV interview, seriously.”

Yosuke obviously didn’t believe this, “Oh yeah?”

“Unless…” Rise closed her eyes, before mustering all her energy into a wink and a smile, raising one hand in a trademark idol point, “You’d prefer if this conversation were a bit more fun?”

Yosuke looked like his brain short-circuited for a moment before he smiled wide in a laugh. “Man, I feel like I’m freaking out like crazy on the inside but at the same time I feel nothing.”

“Hey!”

“I-I didn’t mean that in a bad way! Aw man,” Yosuke groaned. “I bet Yu never made himself look like such a fool.”

“You’d be surprised,” Rise sighed fondly, remembering the time she folded a mediocre paper crane and Yu said that it sucked right to her face. “No one’s perfect, not even him. But strong and single-minded—that’s the role he was meant for, the one we all know and love.”

“Oh yeah,” Yosuke managed a small, yet easy smile. “He’s something alright.”

“So then,” Rise returned to her overly sunny personality. “What can I do for you?”

“Are you trying to win me over by acting like Risette?”

“Is it working?”

“Yeah,” Yosuke admitted easily, causing Rise to giggle. “Is it alright if I ask something weird?”

Silent alarm bells once again started to sound in Rise’s mind, though aloud she carefully asked, “Like what?” 

She watched as Yosuke gnawed at his lip. “What do you think love is?”

Yosuke was looking right at her now, and Rise had no way of schooling her face to mask her surprise, “Huh? Are you… being serious?”

The boy fidgeted awkwardly, nodding nonetheless. “I am.”

“Well,” Rise couldn’t yet put her thoughts into words. “What’s your take right now?

Yosuke’s eyes narrowed a bit. “It’s something that just… happens, right? There’s no choice. But sometimes I don’t get the why, I guess? Not just with, uh, being in love,” he murmured with some uncertainty. “With friends too, or even family.”

Rise listened carefully to his words, trying to gauge his real emotions. Finally understanding his question, she told him, “I think some of it has to do with giving a part of yourself. That’s why people say falling in love happens naturally, but staying in love is voluntary. Anyone can love something at its surface if they think that’s all there is. But loving every part, and giving all parts in return to be loved all the same… that’s what’s most meaningful.”

“I get it,” Yosuke nodded. “It’s why people all over think they’re in love with Risette. They think all they see is all of you.”

“Wow, senpai,” Rise giggled, blushing slightly. “You’re actually making some sense.”

“H-hey, now,” Yosuke stuttered out, embarrassed. “I doubt I was immune, either. But seriously, I really think I understand a lot better now. With Saki-senpai…” he took a slow exhale, “...I thought she understood me better than anyone I’d ever met. I knew I loved her then because of that. But even so, I know she must’ve thought I was a stuck-up prick for the way I acted every other second of the day. This role that I can’t seem to break. Sometimes I hear my own voice and can’t recognize myself anymore. Not to mention– actually, nevermind.” He trailed off towards the end, oddly nervous.

Rise nodded in understanding, “It’s hard to feel like yourself when talking to other people when you don’t really know who you are in your own mind.”

“Man, that sounds too crazy,” Yosuke practically whined, holding his head in both hands like it was splitting. “It should be so easy… especially for us, right? What was facing our shadows even for?”

“It was never going to be that simple,” Rise sighed, recalling the past year. “It took me months after confronting my shadow for me to be ready to be Risette again. I bet with your shadow it took some time to accept things as they were, too.”

“Oh, yeah,” Yosuke confirmed, heaving an exaggerated breath as he said it. “Definitely didn’t really make things less complicated, though. Like I’m talking to you right now and I don’t feel like I’m being genuine. Isn’t that insane?”

“Not at all,” Rise told him. “Once you’ve got a way of talking to others, it’s hard to turn off.”

“Definitely. Like–” Yosuke grunted out of annoyance. “How do you talk to girls? For real.”

Rise couldn’t help it; she burst out laughing.

“I’m serious!” Though Yosuke was laughing too, at the sheer absurdity. “Not in a way that’s, y’know, flirting or anything. Like as a person. Why, in my stupid brain, do I feel like I have to talk to them differently or something? O-or do I?”

“I totally get you!” Rise said through her laughing fit. “For me, I always have to think, how do I talk to that guy without making it seem like I’m coming onto him, but still friendly?”

“Seriously?” Yosuke gaped in genuine shock. “That sounds…”

He stopped himself, and Rise watched his whole face drop at once.

“...All of my friends from before Inaba were guys,” Yosuke explained. “And, I’m starting to think that… other than talking about girls all the time, maybe all we did was talk shit about each other. To, I don’t know, make us feel better about ourselves? Doesn’t that sound… doesn’t that sound awful?” Yosuke asked no one, gradually growing quieter. “Am I really like that? Do I really not care about anyone but myself?”

Rise frowned, then replied, “I think… that’s something we all have to work on. Being honest about feelings… it can be really scary. It feels easier just to be selfish sometimes because it feels almost safer. I don’t have to worry about what people will think of me if I act like I don't care about them. But of course you want to show people how much you love them. Of course you want to at least try, even though that gives them the chance to hurt you worse than anyone else ever could. Because it feels really nice, I think—to love and be loved. Don’t you think so?”

Yosuke couldn’t help but just look on at her in complete awe. “Yeah, you’re right,” he nodded, then looking off into the distance.

Rise followed his gaze, then took a deep inhale, knowing that what she was about to say next she’d never truly spoken aloud. “Can I tell you a secret about me and Yu-senpai?”

“Huh? Where’d that come from?” Yosuke startled, face mildly flushed. Then he backtracked quickly with, “But, um, if you want…”

The words passed her lips before she could think them over too closely. “I really, really wanted to believe he could love me. And I know he did. Just… not in the way I thought I needed,” Rise confessed. “I think I knew deep down that throwing myself at the first guy who treated me with basic decency was only going to ruin me in the long run. I think he knew that, too. But I’m grateful to him—to all of you. Now I’ve got hope that there’s other people out there who’ll really love me for who I am.”

Yosuke’s face slowly changed from surprise into a calm smile. “Yeah, he’s really amazing like that.”

Clearing the rest of the doubts from her mind, Rise shook her head quickly.“Sooo…” Rise drew out the word, tilting her head playfully. “Is there someone in particular that you love, senpai?”

“Ah, well…” Yosuke looked away and chuckled nervously. “Honestly, I’m thinkin’ that there’s a lot of people I love right now. But… I just don’t know how to show it.”

Rise never realized she could ever be this comfortable around a guy, let alone Yosuke. It was… oddly refreshing. She cleared her throat before returning to her Risette voice for one last, “Well, I’ve spilled one of my dark secrets, so now you owe me one of your own!”

Yosuke was clearly struggling to keep his cool. “Um, w-what kind of dark secret, exactly…?”

~*~

July 11—20:18

…

>> Don’t you have a rice cooker?

>> sur i do

>> ws tht hv 2 do w n e thn?

>> If you’re not comfortable cooking on a stove, there’s plenty of things you can make with a rice cooker.

>> You can even make pancakes.

>> 4 rl???

>> tht ive gta c

>> I’ve read a lot of good cookbooks, they’re useful for that sort of thing.

>> s tht hw ur so gud @ cookn? all tht readn?

>> It’s part of it.

>> But it’s mostly just practice.

>> Not all recipes are reliable when it comes to measurements. A lot of it comes down to personal tastes and knowing how much is needed for a certain flavor.

>> 2 hrd

>> m lazy (u.u)

>> How did you get good at music? Just by reading all those sheets?

>> hell no

>> lots f messn arond n cn wat wrks

>> o i gt it

>> I believe in you!

~*~

“I’m back, ma.” Kanji started toeing out of his shoes to head up to his room.

“Welcome back, dear. Someone’s here to see you in the shop, if you have a moment.”

Ugh, this can’t be good, Kanji thought instantly, but for his own mom’s sake he just sighed and checked who it was. He sure hoped it wasn’t any cops. 

Somehow, it was worse.

“Yo, Kanji,” said a clearly mortified Yosuke Hanamura. “Got a minute?”

“What for?” 

“Well, uh,” Yosuke itched his face absentmindedly. “I know it’s a good ways away, but uh– I was kinda thinking about Nanako-chan’s birthday, ‘cause I wanted to give her something really nice after everything that happened last year. And, um, I was really hoping that… uh…” He exhaled frustratedly.

Kanji waited with a bored expression.

“Could you… help me make something for her?”

“...Huh?”

“Like those, um… plushies. Do you think you could help me make one for her? Or, y’know, if not, that’s cool, I was just thinkin’ that, uh–”

“Sure.”

Yosuke blinked in surprise. “Really?”

Kanji shrugged. He had no idea what this dude’s game was here, but since it was just the two of them he knew he could deal with it however he pleased. You’re the one who chose the field, Hanamura. I choose the rules of this game. “Yeah, come up to my room, I’ve got plenty of shit.”

That elicited the exact response Kanji anticipated, Yosuke all flustered and exposed. Then, the older boy forced himself to calm, saying “y-yeah, alright. Where should I leave my shoes?”

A few minutes later the two boys were in Kanji’s room, a clean and tidy little place that could’ve easily passed as a girl’s room were it not for the metal band posters on the walls and the leather jackets stashed in the closet. 

“So what kinda thing were you thinking?”

Kanji thought Yosuke looked like he was seconds away from pissing his pants. Nonetheless, his senpai valiantly tried to act normal, though his acting skills could use work. “Well, I wanna make something nice for her, but, well, obviously since I’ve never tried, uh, crafts or anything, I guess if you know what might be easier that would be great.”

“Then my amigurumi are not for you, dude.”

Yosuke balked. “Wh– Seriously?”

Kanji said seriously, “Making those things look even remotely nice takes years of practice. You really think it’s that easy?”

“N-no! That’s not what I meant at all!”

This dude definitely had some serious foot-in-mouth syndrome. “Then what?”

“It’s… I…” Yosuke ran a hand through his hair and looked away.

It was obvious to Kanji from the start that Yosuke was just looking for an excuse to talk to him about something. He’d heard from Naoto that this guy was seemingly making his rounds in awkward as hell conversations that left everyone equally puzzled. That wouldn’t be Kanji, though. He was gonna get to the bottom of this if he had to beat it out of Yosuke himself. 

He sighed. “Try a scarf.”

“Wha–?”

“You wanted somethin’ easy, didn’t ya? Making a scarf is pretty straightforward, even a dude with all thumbs like you could probably do it. Though I can’t guarantee it’ll look great on a first attempt.”

“Seriously? And you’ll show me how?”

“Ain’t that what you asked? I’m not one to back out on deals. And it’s for Nanako-chan—so you’d better listen good or her present will turn out like shit.”

Yosuke nodded vigorously, “Y-yeah, for sure! You got it! Thanks man, you’re a lifesaver.”

Kanji rolled his eyes, “Don’t push it. Besides, if it looks like crap, then it’s on me for being a shitty teacher.”

About an hour passed in relative peace as Kanji showed Yosuke how to knit the scarf. He’d been right—Yosuke was definitely all thumbs, but he couldn’t deny that the guy was at least trying. The scarf might actually turn out decent, though Kanji wouldn’t have allowed it to turn out any other way. After some more time passed of Yosuke’s movements becoming more confident and Kanji moving on to his own project seated at his work desk, the younger boy finally decided it was time to confront the elephant in the room.

“So. Got anything to say for yourself?”

Yosuke didn’t meet Kanji’s eyes, pausing for a few seconds before resuming his pace. “Honestly… I think I’ve said enough.”

Kanji slammed his fist into the table. “Oh, hell no! There’s no freakin’ way you’re getting away with this that easy.”

Yosuke looked up, mouth open, but didn’t say anything.

“You think you can waltz in here and act all buddy-buddy and expect me to move the hell on? Who do you think you are? Be a freakin’ man and own up to your shit, senpai.”

Yosuke lowered his head, swallowing. “You’re right. I… I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Kanji scoffed.

“I guess I didn’t wanna say anything ‘cause any time I do, the wrong words come out. But you’re right. My big mouth got me into this and I guess it’s the same way I’m gonna work myself out.” Yosuke took a shaky breath, and Kanji leaned back in his seat, arms crossed. “I was wrong. And a douche. To everyone, and… especially to you. I wasn’t thinking about anyone else or their feelings ‘cause I assumed they were all cool with it just because I was. It was dumb and immature. I can’t apologize enough.

“I really do consider you a good friend. I respect the hell out of you—and I know I was only trying to make myself feel better whenever I got on your case about… liking guys. I was insecure and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

Kanji nodded with a wry smile, satisfied enough at the older boy’s attempt at groveling. “I’ll take it. You’ve got balls, senpai, I’ll give you that.”

Yosuke managed a pained smile of his own, “Honestly, I’d totally take that compliment if I didn’t feel like I’m about to pass out right now.”

This got a loud bark of a laugh out of Kanji, startling a similar sound out of Yosuke, though much quieter. 

“Uh,” Yosuke said then, “I can’t help but notice you don’t seem all that surprised by this turn of events.”

“I talked to Naoto,” Kanji said in explanation.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Yosuke replied with a sigh. “I knew I wanted to straighten things out with them, too, but… honestly? They kinda scare me.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Well, they are the one who chose to let themself get kidnapped just for the case.”

“They’re damn crazy, that’s for sure.” Despite the words, it was obvious in Kanji’s tone he’d meant this as a compliment of the utmost respect.

Yosuke just huffed, “You’re telling me. When this all started, I swear I’d just been in Okina for some new manga and they’d given me the psychological smackdown of a lifetime. I… guess I never realized how my perception of my friends is so messed up like that.”

“Not entirely,” Kanji raised a brow.

“Huh? How do you mean?”

“You never pull the same crap you do with us to Narukami-senpai.”

“Him? Well,” Yosuke rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s… different. He’s actually the only one who’s ever seen my shadow. Other than Teddie.”

“That so? So you feel like you can be more real with him?”

Yosuke began to protest, “Hey, that’s–! Yeah, no, that’s fair. And probably true.”

Kanji laid it all out, “You’re still afraid of everyone seein’ yourself for who you are.”

Yosuke lowered his eyes, “Yeah. I’m a coward.”

“No way,” Kanji told him bluntly, which startled Yosuke. “Dude, there’s no shame in being afraid of bein’ vulnerable to people. Puttin’ up a front, like violence, or insensitive jokes—that’s the cowardly shit. I’m not above recognizing the shit that’s going on with me. And you’re pretty damn brave for doing the same, senpai.”

“I… thanks, Kanji. I’ve got a way to go, though.”

Kanji half-shrugged. “No worries, man, we’ve all been there. But check yourself goin’ forward, ‘cause I’m still not above beatin’ the shit outta you if you don’t.”

Yosuke laughed, almost relieved. “Yeah, I’ll be counting on you.”

~*~

August 1—08:24

>> Good morning! (◕ っ ◕ ✿)

>> mrn

>> hey who tot u to use kaomoji

>> You did, of course. ( ◠‿◠ )

>> liar i barly use em

>> Alright, it was Rise. (●´ω｀●)

>> Am I doing it correctly?（＾Ｏ＾☆♪

>> ur so cute wtf

>> s a bit much mayb

>> Oh.

>> I assume it needs to be used at the right moment?

>> yep

>> but dnt thnk 2 hrd bt it (^^)

>> Ok! (= ´∀｀)人(´∀｀ =)

>> omg ur killng me prtnr

>> gt nthr long shift 2dy

>> bt mayb my day wont b so bad

>> That was the goal.

>> Work hard!「がんばろう!」ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

>> I don’t need to tell you that, though.

>> You always do.

~*~

It’s about damn time, Chie thought. After weeks and weeks of Yosuke acting weird, she finally got a chance to beat it out of him alone. 

“Do we really have to do this?”

“You’re already here, so there’s no backing out!”

“But Chie…” Yosuke whined.

“Stand up straight! We’re doing some hardcore training today! You agreed,” Chie reminded him.

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t think you had a whole afternoon planned…” Yosuke’s head drooped. “Not even Yukiko’s study sessions are longer than like three hours.”

“What, do you have a shift later?”

“No, but–”

“Then no complaining! Come on, get your game face on, Hanamura! We’re doing strength training first!”

Yosuke looked absolutely pitiful, but nonetheless, he tried hard to improve, only looking nauseous about two times. When Chie started trying to teach him some combat skills, that was the moment Yosuke had to stop her. 

(“I’m not planning to get into any more fights!” He argued.

“I’m not telling you to start any, but I know you don’t wanna get jumped, do you?”)

Hours passed, and the two later found themselves cooling down with a jog through the streets, cars passing alongside them and the sun slowly setting to their west. It wasn’t an entirely useless day, Chie guessed, hardly breathing heavily, meanwhile Yosuke was clearly struggling to keep himself upright. 

“Hey, let’s stop at that vending machine over there and grab some drinks, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, alright,” Yosuke panted.

They approached the street corner towards the machines, Chie already slowing her pace. Then, out of nowhere, Yosuke said,

“I think I have a crush on Yu.”

And Chie fell right on her face.

“Chie!” Yosuke rushed over in a panic.

Chie’s head snapped up. “You… you jackass! You totally did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“What? You fell down all by yourself!”

“You told me that crap ‘cause you knew I’d trip!”

“That’s so stupid!”

They trudged over to the vending machine, both scowling. Yosuke bought two sodas and Chie snatched one out of his hand before he offered it. 

“Shut up,” Chie muttered, then took a sip.

“I didn’t even say anything!”

“You were saying it with your dumb face!”

“Ugh, why do I even bother…”

It was a quiet moment as they both drank in peace. 

Yosuke fidgeted with the cap of his bottle. “So… you’re not mad?”

“Hell yeah I’m mad!”

“Huh?”

“You really know just what to say to get me to lose my balance. You really are a grade-A jerk!”

“Lose your– Chie, I was being serious!”

Chie blinked. “You what.”

Yosuke ran a hand through his hair. “I’m serious. I like him.”

“And you’re…” she looked away, mildly frustrated, though mainly just hesitant. “You’re telling me, why?”

“‘Cause who else am I gonna tell? Him?”

“You seriously have no one else?”

“Oh, shut up!” Yosuke crossed his arms. “So… there. You’re the only one who knows.”

“Is that what’s been going on with you? You realized you liked him and now he’s gone?”

“Well, I…” Yosuke’s shoulders hiked up. “Yeah, sort of. I know it’s not like he’s gone forever, though, so…”

“I’ve gotta admit, though, I’m kinda shocked. Didn’t think you had a gay bone in your body, Yosuke…” Yosuke just shot her a look. “Ohhhh, that’s it! You’ve been getting input from everyone so when he comes back you can impress him!”

“I–” Yosuke stopped. “I guess…”

“What’s up? Why are you so down?”

“It’s just that… well, it’s not really like I have a shot though, so–”

“No way! Don’t even try to pull that crap!”

“Wh– huh?”

“You’re seriously gonna chicken out?”

“Chie–”

“If you don’t shoot your shot, you know he’s gonna get scooped up by someone else!”

“So what–?”

“So what? You’re gonna mess up your one chance with Yu Narukami, dude! After everything you’ve been trying to do with everyone’s help! Doesn’t that piss you off?”

“Sure, I’m mad I wasted everyone’s time, but–”

“Wasted their time? Get it together Yosuke!”

“Will you let me finish?” Yosuke shouted. Chie quieted with her hands on her hips, waiting for an explanation. “Look, Chie, I appreciate your enthusiasm.”

“Uh huh.”

“But maybe it’d be better if someone else got together with Yu anyway.”

“WHAT?”

“Look, that guy could get anyone, okay? And I knew that! That’s why I’ve been trying so hard to be better. But somehow, every time I feel like I’ve learned something, I realize there’s just more of me to fix. And Yu, he– he deserves better than that. He deserves better than me.”

“Yosuke,” Chie started, then broke off, shifting her weight from side to side awkwardly. “What… what the hell’s the matter with you?”

“Sorry.”

“Just– shut up already! Quit it with this weird pity party! This… this isn’t like you.”

“Yeah,” Yosuke laughed to himself, looking away. “It sucks, doesn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Me, I mean. Chie…” Yosuke took a breath. “Don’t you think I’m kind of an asshole?”

Chie’s voice died in her throat.

“Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Well–!” Chie interjected. “Sure I do. But if I really didn’t want you around, you know I would’ve told you off.”

“So why didn’t you?” Yosuke asked genuinely. “Even when I first moved here, and everyone already knew me ‘cause of Junes, you let me stick around with you and Yukiko. I even hit on you guys and you still let me stay.”

“Well,” Chie thought, now somewhat self-conscious. “You weren’t like everyone else. I can’t speak for Yukiko, but… I knew I didn’t have a shot being friends with anyone else because I wasn’t like the other girls. I wasn’t smart, or pretty, or funny. But you didn’t care about that. You liked the movies I watched and the video games I played. All your stupid antics were just something I came to accept about you ‘cause I knew I could trust you when shit got real. I guess… after a while, I just couldn’t really imagine life out here without you.”

“…Damn,” Yosuke said after a moment. He glanced off to the side. “That was… um…”

Chie fumed, “Ugh! I open up to you one freaking time and that’s all you have to say?!”

“Cut me some slack, okay? I’ve never had a girl open up to me before! I’m trying to think of the right thing to say!” Yosuke exclaimed.

“Oh, so if I were a guy this would be all fine and dandy, huh?” Chie shot back accusingly.

“That’s… not it either…” Yosuke sighed, brow creased in frustration. “Getting all emotional and crap with anyone is still weird. I never say the right thing.”

Chie’s mouth twisted. “I don’t care what you say right now. Just say something normal, ‘cause if I keep talking right now while you’re looking like that it’s gonna feel like kicking a sad puppy.”

“Well, you’ve never had a problem with kicking me before–”

“Quit it, you!”

“Ow! ”

Yosuke rubbed his side where Chie kicked him. 

“You’re gonna tell him, right?” Chie said finally.

Yosuke shrugged. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me! After all that?”

“I don’t know, okay?”

“Well, if you don’t tell him, I’ll tell him myself!”

“Huh?! You’d better not!”

“Do it, Yosuke,” Chie grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “He’s your best friend, you moron. Don’t you care about his feelings?”

“Of course I do,” Yosuke choked out. “That’s why I’m keeping mine to myself. He’ll be happier that way.”

“That’s not your decision to make!” She kicked him again.

“Ack– Come on!”

“Tell him! Why are you being such an ass about this?”

“It’s Yu! You know him, he’s– he’s perfect! And I’m… I’m just me.”

Chie couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. “You’re so stupid.”

“Okay?”

“Just do it, Yosuke. At the very least, do it because we all worked so damn hard to help you.”

“…And you won’t tell anyone, right?” Yosuke had to ask. “Though, I feel like you not telling Yukiko literally everything is already out of my hands.”

“Rude, but fair,” Chie supposed. (She would at least try not to spill everything.)

“Alright,” Yosuke agreed. (He knew that already.)

And that was that.

~*~

September 9—11:36

…

>> I’ll just mail myself as a present.

>> dnt joke shd lov tht

>> if ur tht worrid then snd it erly n il kp it saf

>> The problem is I don’t have it yet.

>> I’m probably overthinking.

>> u r

>> I feel bad I haven’t been there for her the past few months.

>> I want to get her the best.

>> s nanako dude

>> shll no tht n e thn u get hr u got w lov

>> You’re right. Thank you, Yosuke.

>> nw

>> s my job as ur prtnr 2 keep u n chek

>> Haha. That’s true.

>> Tell her hi for me, won’t you?

>> tll hr urslf

>> …

>> You’re right again. 

~*~

The knock at the door caused Nanako to jump in equal surprise and excitement, and she rushed to see who was there immediately.

“Hi Yosuke-nii!”

“Hey, Nanako-chan! How’s it going?”

“Kinda quiet,” she admitted, “but fun now that you’re here!”

“Well, yeah, it’s my turn to hang out with you, just like we all promised your Big Bro,” Yosuke said. “Hope you don’t mind, but I picked up some food at Junes in case your dad gets back late.”

“Yay! You can keep it in the fridge for now, I’ll call him later to see when he’s coming back.” 

After a moment, Nanako resettled herself back in front of the TV set where Yosuke joined her on the floor. 

“So, you excited for your birthday next week?”

“Yeah!” Nanako’s eyes sparkled, “What did you get me, Yosuke-nii?”

“That’s a surprise,” Yosuke told her. “But I really hope you’ll like it.”

“I know I will,” Nanako assured. “What do you think Big Bro got me?”

“I don’t know,” Yosuke replied honestly. “I just hope it gets to you on time.”

“What do you mean?” Nanako asked curiously. “Big Bro said he was gonna give it to me in person.”

Yosuke gaped. Yu had never told him that he’d be coming back for Nanako’s birthday. Was it supposed to be a surprise? “Uh, Nanako… are you sure?”

Nanako nodded. “Yeah. He told me over the phone last night. He wasn’t sure for a while and I told him it’d be okay if he didn’t come but he said he really wanted to see me. He’ll be here for the weekend.”

Yesterday? “Man,” Yosuke breathed, still in disbelief. “I had no idea.”

“Really?” Nanako frowned. Then she nodded once, resolute. “We should tell everyone. They’ll all be so happy he’s coming back!”

“Definitely,” Yosuke agreed. “Well, in the meantime, did you have anything in mind for tonight?”

“Oh, I know! Stay right here, okay?” 

Nanako trotted off, leaving the TV playing some reruns of Loveline for a minute before she came back with a truly sizable vinyl-covered chest.

“Woah, what’s this?”

“Rise-nee got it for me a few months ago. I told her I wanted to look pretty like her and she got all this makeup for me!”

“That’s…” Yosuke looked down in awe—sure, it was definitely a kit made for children but it still seemed like a lot. If Rise bought this just on a whim, what kind of thing was she going to buy for Nanako’s birthday…? 

“Um, Yosuke-nii?”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“Chie-nee comes by with Naoto-ue and Yukiko-nee a lot, but you’re never with them. How come?”

“Oh, I…” Yosuke deflated. “Ever since your Big Bro left, I’ve had to spend a lot more time making up for all the days I spent hanging out with him while he was still here, I guess. Lots of studying and Junes.” It was a poor excuse, but it was at least partially true. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let you down, Nanako-chan. Besides,” he added lightheartedly, “I would’ve hated to ruin your girl time.”

“But Kanji-nii comes by too sometimes. He let me do his makeup last week.”

“Oh yeah?” Yosuke couldn’t help but crack a smile. “I’ll try to swing by more often, Nanako-chan. Promise.”

“Okay! Can I do your makeup too?”

Yosuke immediately started stuttering. He didn’t want to disappoint her, but, “U-uh, right now?”

“Sure! But, wait, um…” Nanako looked off to the side for a moment. “Could you paint my nails first?”

“You want me to?” Yosuke pointed at himself.

“Yeah! If that’s okay…”

“Of course it’s okay!” He blurted out at her sudden frown. “I just… I would really hate to mess it up,” Yosuke told her. 

“That’s okay! Rise-nee showed me how to do it and how to fix it if I had to. She got me the nail polish remover and everything.”

Somehow that doesn’t sound safe to keep around a kid, but… Nanako’s definitely not dumb. “Sounds like a plan then,” Yosuke nodded. He sifted through that chest, finding three colors of nail polish, as well as a small bottle of acetate with some q-tips. “Alright. Which color would you like?”

“Pink please!”

“Great choice!”

A couple minutes into this endeavor, Yosuke's hands still wouldn’t keep steady. And of course, since Nanako’s hands were so little, it was even harder to make sure the polish didn’t get all over her fingers. 

He sighed, “Somehow I think your Big Bro would be way better at this.”

“Why’s that?”

“He’s way better with his hands,” Yosuke explained, then started to feel a flush creep up the back of his neck. “I mean, like, there’s nothing that guy isn’t amazing at.”

“Singing,” Nanako said.

“Hm?”

“Big Bro isn’t very good at singing. But please don’t tell him I said that, okay? I know he tries really hard.”

Yosuke blinked for a moment, then laughed loudly. “Only you would know something like that, Nanako-chan.”

“Do you think he misses us, Yosuke-nii?” Nanako asked with a small frown. “I hope he doesn’t feel too lonely.”

Yosuke smiled gently. “Yeah, I know. But I think he’s happy knowing we’re thinking about him, and even more so that you’re here waiting for him.”

“Okay,” she said, brightening a bit. “Yosuke-nii?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you good at singing?”

“Uh,” Yosuke cringed. “I don’t really think so. I just do it for fun sometimes. Besides, none of us can really beat Rise.”

“I like singing sometimes in the bath. Do you do that too?”

“Oh, yeah, for sure,” Yosuke agreed. “But you know who does it all the time?”

“Who?”

“Teddie. Everyone in the house can hear him when he sings.”

“He’s so funny,” Nanako giggled.

As they started talking about their friends, they hardly even noticed when Nanako’s father came home. Dojima stood at the doorway for a moment, watching the two laugh between each other, nail polish somehow on both of their hands. He chuckled to himself softly and hardly felt smug when Yosuke nearly jumped three feet into the air when he announced he was back early from work.

~*~

September 27—22:49

>> y ddnt u tll me u wr cmn bak??????

>> Im so sorry

>> I planned to tell you but it slipped my mind.

>> nah s k

>> wdv bn a nys srpris i ges

>> That’s true too.

>> But I’m no good with surprises.

>> yea i no

>> dnt strs urslf ot tho

>> exams n stuf

>> if u cnt make it wll undrstnd

>> If anything, this trip will be stress relief.

>> I’ll need that.

>> m stl mad @ u

>> jk of crs bt

>> u gota mak it up 2 me

>> Understood.

*Call ended. Time: 05:07:38*

September 28—03:54

>> We’re so screwed.

>> yep d(￣ ￣)

>> gnyt prtnr!

>> Don’t you mean good morning?

>> Sleep well.（◞ ‿ ◟）zzz

~*~

Yosuke woke up in his own room. It was still dark. What woke him up? He sat up in his bed, then his surroundings made him instantly realize what was going on. Outside the border of the floor of his room, there was nothing but dark abyss.

He was dreaming.

He sighed to himself, then tried to stand. Looking out into the distance, he saw a familiar silhouette there. He squinted.

“Susano-o?”

But instead of his familiar Persona, Yosuke himself stepped forward into the dim of the room. His shadow. 

“Just me.”

“Hey,” Yosuke greeted, though a bit on edge. “Been a while.”

“You make it sound like I left,” Yosuke’s shadow said. 

“Right,” Yosuke retracted. “So… what’s up?”

“You tell me,” the shadow shrugged, casual, yet his posture and expression exuded silent intimidation. “What’s up?” He echoed back.

Yosuke swallowed, looking away as to feign confidence. “Why do I even need to tell you anything? You already know what’s going on. I’m basically counting the hours before I see him again.”

“Aw, did he really make you wait that long?” The shadow teased. “Do you think he’ll appreciate all your hard work?”

Yosuke ran a hand through his hair quickly, exhaling harshly. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

The shadow raised a curious brow, motioning silently to go on.

“I’ve been trying so hard these past few months to change for the better, just like I promised I would so damn long ago. But still, I can’t help but feel uncertain,” Yosuke admitted. “I still sometimes feel like I’m nothing without my friends—my real, actual friends that I have now, who reply to my messages and hang out with me not just ‘cause they want Junes discounts. I don’t want to be alone again… I don’t want to let them down… I don’t want to go back to being who I was.”

The shadow slow-clapped, just a few times before grinning wide. “Good show…! Did you have fun?”

“...Fun?”

“Playing pretend, I mean,” the shadow clarified. “With your friends. You saw how they all looked at you. Like a total stranger—and yet you just kept talking, on and on… almost like–”

“Don’t say another word,” Yosuke warned, voice just barely wavering.

“What’s with the hostility?” The shadow asked with mock-innocence. “You want the truth, don’t you? And the truth is… all of your friends were just a poor stand-in for him.”

“That’s not true!”

“Oh, but he would never look at you like that, would he? Your partner wouldn’t judge if you bared your heart, and you wouldn’t feel like you need to swallow all your words while you lie awake at night… or am I wrong?”

“They’re,” Yosuke tried to argue. “They’re still my friends. I want to be able to stand side by side with them with honesty. And–” he continued, “maybe I am afraid to be honest. Maybe with Yu it’s always been different. I know it has.”

“But you do envy the others, don’t you?” The shadow seemed to be examining its nails, bored. 

“That’s… why would I…?”

“They’ve all earned their places at his side, but not you.”

“No,” Yosuke denied.

“They all were able to find their own ways with his gracious help, and doesn’t that just eat you alive inside?” The shadow sneered. “Everyone else has got their shit sorted out and here we are, once again.”

Yosuke’s hands found their way into his hair, uselessly grasping at the strands. He staggered backward. “Stop… no more…”

“All you need to do is admit you know why,” the shadow said. “Why you even started this in the first place.”

“I do know,” Yosuke insisted weakly.

“Was it to be a better person? I don’t think so.”

“It was! ”

“Was it to be brave enough to confess your feelings? Hm… not that, either. Maybe something even more selfish.”

Yosuke squeezed his eyes shut. “Shut up!”

The shadow finally intoned, “You did this because you needed to feel like you deserve to even love him.”

Yosuke fell to his knees, barely managing a whimper. “I…” He could feel the pressure of hot tears in his eyes. “He’s… he’s just…” he choked out. “He’s everything.”

“And I am nothing,” the shadow finished his thought. 

“Why am I the only one…?” Yosuke mumbled, voice thick and unable to gain volume. “Why does it feel like I’m the only one who hasn’t proven myself? Like I’m the only one who, after everything we went through, still feels… broken…?”

The shadow kneeled in front of Yosuke wordlessly.

Yosuke looked up, pleading. “What do I do? I’m trying so hard but I feel like I’m not going anywhere. When will I feel like it’s enough? When will I feel like I’m ready?”

The shadow stared, expression unreadable. “You won’t.”

Yosuke exhaled, and fresh tears fell freely. He laughed breathlessly. “I… I know.”

And for a minute, Yosuke just cried.

“Hey.” The shadow called out abruptly.

Yosuke sniffled, “Uh huh?”

The shadow’s glowing yellow eyes tilted down to meet Yosuke’s bloodshot ones. “Who cares?”

“What…?”

“Why should you have to feel ready?”

“Because… I…” Yosuke rubbed at his face. “He’s already done so much for me. For everyone. I wouldn’t be myself without him. He makes me feel like… like I’m the most important guy in the room, so of course I want to live up to that expectation.”

The shadow scoffed. “What do you want, more than anything? To feel like you’re good enough for him?”

“N-no. You know that’s not true.” Yosuke breathed, “I want him to be happy.”

“Go on.”

“I… want to be the person who makes him happy.”

“Not so hard, was it?”

Yosuke huffed. “Yeah, okay.”

“So go for it.”

Yosuke shook his head. “I… I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because what if he…”

“Rejects you? You’re such a dumbass.”

Yosuke’s gaze wavered, an unintended sigh leaving his throat.

“Of course, because why would you be scared of him rejecting you when you already know that he will?”

Yosuke was quiet for a moment. Then he asked, “Do you still think… that I’d be better off dead? I mean, without him.”

The shadow eyed him strangely. “Probably.”

Yosuke’s eyes slipped shut, “Alright.”

Then the shadow spoke up with a hiss, “You really think he’d leave you behind?”

Yosuke shook his head quickly. “It’s not…”

“You really think he’s just like everyone else?”

“I don’t, I–”

“You make me sick. Don’t you even trust him at all?”

“Of course I do,” Yosuke said with certainty. “The one I don’t trust is myself. If I’m not ready now, who knows when someday I’ll lose my nerve and abandon him just out of self-pity. What if I can never get over my stupid-ass—I don’t know—mental block about… y’know… dating a dude…?”

“Oh, what a pathetic excuse. You’ve been over that for ages,” the shadow grew tired of the ramblings. “That’s not what you’re afraid of. What you’ve been avoiding. It’s the idea of a relationship that makes you act like a prissy little kid watching a couple kiss in a movie.”

“What the hell’s that mean?”

The shadow glared, full-force, causing Yosuke to shudder. “I’ll destroy anything that bores me,” he echoed, words of long past. “And I only like looking at girls from afar for their great curves and long legs…”

“Get to the point,” Yosuke rolled his eyes.

“But never what it would be like to actually go out with them for real,” the shadow finished. “Because that shit is so unbelievably boring. Dating is so lame. What would I possibly be able to talk about with some random hot chick?”

“But, Yu…” 

He paused. Oh. Yosuke finally got the point.

“It was only ever going to be him, huh.”

The shadow tilted its head. “So, what do you say?”

Yosuke finally managed a soft smile, if only to himself. “He’s my partner. I want to be by his side no matter what. And even though I don’t feel ready, I don’t want to miss my chance to tell him that.”

“Good stuff,” the shadow commented.

“Heh, well. Couldn’t have done it without you.”

Yosuke’s shadow leveled him with a stare, but the look held some mirth. “I am you.”

Yosuke nodded. “And I’m you.” He looked down, at the world around them fading away. “Will I… see you again?”

“Check on the opposite side of where the light shines,” snarked the shadow. 

Yosuke woke up.

~*~

October 3—07:13

Group: 8 People

aibou!

>> I’ll see you all tomorrow. 

>> cya soon!!

chee

>> heck yea! can’t wait!!

amayuki

>> We’ll see you very soon! So excited!

ted ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

>> i’ll be waiting with bells on sensei!

s.n.

>> WE AWAIT YOUR ARRIVAL WITH BATED BREATH. 

risechii

>> wat naochan said!! xo ♡ 〜 (ゝ。∂）

kanji

>> LET’S GO!!!!!! Can’t wait to see ya senpai!

~*~ 

It’s a Friday, so that means it’s straight from school to Junes for Yosuke. He quickly waved his friends goodbye, still slipping his shoes on as he nearly tripped over his own feet on his way to his bike. Chie sighed with a telltale shake of her head, as she knew all too well that Yosuke had inevitably lost track of time chatting and was probably going to be late for his shift. Yukiko called out after him that they’d see him tomorrow at Nanako’s birthday party and Yosuke flashed a thumbs up. Without looking forwards, he nearly ran face-first into Kanji, who was still trying to slip through his secret hole in the fence. Yosuke apologized profusely at the sight of Kanji’s slowly clenching fist, despite Naoto trying to calm the taller boy. Finally reaching his bike, he was surprised to find Rise leaning suspiciously on the bike rack beside Yosuke’s obnoxious yellow ride, grinning as he saw her upperclassman approach.

“Got a minute?”

“Sorry, not today,” Yosuke apologized, “Closing shift tonight,” he explained as he unlocked the bike lock.

“Seriously?” Rise asked in equal shock and disappointment. “It’s alright, I didn’t need you today anyway. It’s for tomorrow.”

“Work again after class.”

“Huh?!” Rise exclaimed. “But the party…”

“I’ll be there. It’s just,” Yosuke grumbled, waving his hand vaguely. “Weekends. No one wants to show up.”

“You’d better be there,” Rise leaned over him with her hands on her hips, attempting to be threatening. “Besides, weren’t you the one who organized this whole thing? Kinda rude, I think.”

“I just said I’d come, didn’t I?” Yosuke rolled his eyes. “On time too, if you’re so worried—I know better than anyone that nothing’s more terrifying than Yu Narukami at someone who upsets Nanako-chan.”

Rise started to smile at something that seemed to amuse only her. “Pinky promise me.”

“Seriously?”

As if in answer, Rise held her pinky out.

“Geez. I swear, you’re as bad as Ted sometimes,” Yosuke rolled his eyes, though he did go through with the pinky swear.

Rise giggled, “You promised now, remember,” she drew out in a sing-song tone. “So you’ll be there or face my wrath, Yo-chan! Well, everyone’s probably. But me especially!”

“Whatever happened to ‘senpai,’ huh?” Yosuke mumbled at his own misfortune, though only halfheartedly. But by the time the words left his mouth, Rise was already skipping away. 

It’s been over five months since Yosuke started this… journey of self-discovery and betterment, as it were. And tomorrow was going to be his final test. Well, not really a test, per se, Yosuke figured, his headphones playing upbeat music over his thoughts as he cruised past the shopping district. He sucked at those. Maybe a challenge. Ugh, but Yu wasn’t a challenge, that’s his best friend, for Susano-o’s sake. Anyway, whatever it was, Yosuke was really nervous. He knew in his heart that he’d never be ready for this day, but nonetheless he was going to face this head-on like he knew he had to. 

That didn’t stop his brain from completely shorting out for the next 24 hours. He wrapped up his shift that night and flopped face first on his bed as soon as he got home, then proceeded to have a dream about Yu. It wasn’t… a bad dream, but it made him freak out so hard he ended up waking himself up, hyperventilating. Teddie squinted up from where he lay in Yosuke’s closet, asking if he was alright, and Yosuke panicked so hard he threw a pillow right at his face. And during school, even though it was the usual half-day, he swore he didn’t retain a single piece of information. (Not that it was too unusual, but still.)

As if the gods simply wanted to spite him further, he was stationed at the registers in the afternoon. He was certain at least a few people would gladly take the opportunity to hate the famed Prince of Junes just a bit more than they already did from how long it took him to count cash today. 

It was nearing his hour for a blessed yet fleeting break when, as usual when Yosuke watched a cart pull up to his register, he broke out his usual “did you find everything you were looking for?”

The customer replied, in an eerily familiar voice, “I did, thank you.”

Yosuke had his hands on a carton of eggs, and he knew he had to be really careful with it but he completely froze in place. His head raised slowly to meet the other person’s eyes, which were cool and gray, and had a calm smile to match.

“Yu,” Yosuke only managed a whisper, feeling like his head would explode if he thought too hard.

“Hey,” Yu greeted, waiting patiently.

“Uh– um!” Yosuke straightened up quickly. “Let me, get all your, uh–” He rang Yu up faster than any other customer that morning—actually, probably ever in his whole couple odd years of working as a customer service slave—then leaned over the counter with his chin resting on one hand, attempting at casual. “You’re here.”

“Mhm. Uncle is out with Nanako shopping in Okina. I wanted to come see you.”

“M– me?” Yosuke squeaked. “You didn’t have to do that, I mean, we’ll all be together later…” he scratched his head. “Not that I’m not happy to see you or anything! Because I am, like, I was so surprised to see you here I thought I was going to drop all your shit– not that it really makes a difference since I’ve been blowing it all day anyway ‘cause I didn’t know what to say when I’d see you,” he’s digging himself into a hole, and it’s humiliating. Why can’t he stop talking?

But Yu was laughing, bright and joyous. “I’m happy to see you too, Yosuke.”

Dammit, hearing that laugh in person for the first time in so long… “Well, I’d love to keep talking but I… I’m here for another few hours…” Yosuke told him apologetically.

“Don’t work yourself too hard,” Yu advised, genuine.

“Heh, heard that one a lot these past few months,” Yosuke smiled wryly. “I’m all good, though. For real.”

Yu nodded at him, content with this answer. “Alright then. See you later?”

“Yep,” Yosuke replied, though he was extremely reluctant to let him go. “So… where are you headed before Nanako-chan and Dojima-san get back?”

“Back home,” Yu frowned, only slightly. “I have to get dinner preparations started. There’s a lot of people coming over so I probably should’ve gotten started immediately.”

“What? You’re doing prep all by yourself?” Yosuke asked, incredulous. Then, in a flash of impulsivity (as most of his actions were initiated), he pulled his phone out to check the time. It was only a few minutes past two, and he technically had three hours of his shift left. Screw it, he thought, dialing a number.

“Yosuke? Why are you calling, I’m just on the other side of the store–”

“Teddie, I need a huge favor,” Yosuke spoke quickly. “Yu needs some help getting ready for the party. Can you man register 2 for the next three hours?”

“Aye aye! Anything for Sensei!”

“I owe you big time,” Yosuke told him. “Feel free to let Dad totally grill me on this. See you later.”

“Later, Yosuke! Tell Sensei I say hi!”

“Will do.” He hung up.

“Yosuke,” Yu breathed in disbelief, like he really didn’t know what else to say.

“Don’t sweat it, partner,” Yosuke flashed a grin and a wink. “Besides, it’s better to have me helping you out in the kitchen rather than the girls, right?”

“Don’t say that to their faces, though,” Yu raised a brow.

“It’s just the truth,” Yosuke reasoned, already pulling off his work apron. “Also, Teddie says hi.”

“I’m sure,” Yu took his grocery bags and started leaving the store, leaving Yosuke to follow close behind.

Walking side by side down the street, with Yosuke pulling his bike alongside him and Yu on his opposite side, felt so familiar to the very first time they spoke to each other when Yu arrived in Inaba a year and a half ago. They talked about nonsense like no time had even passed, though it was true that they’d been exchanging messages and calls non-stop these past months. 

Yu let his head hang back for a moment, his eyes slipping shut and taking a deep breath. 

“Feel good to be back?” Yosuke asked.

“I actually got in yesterday,” Yu admitted, meaning he’d been lying in the text message from the previous morning. He continued, now a bit hurried, “But it was already late in the afternoon. I managed to stop by and see everyone else to say hi to surprise them but Teddie told me you had the closing shift…”

Yosuke couldn’t bring himself to mind much. “No worries, seriously. I bet you were exhausted, man. I know I was,” enough to have a dream about you last night, so it’s not like I didn’t see you yesterday– he shook his head furiously. “Plus I’m sure you wanted to have some time with Nanako-chan and Dojima-san before today. But for real, that’s so like you,” he joked, “getting busy meeting up with everyone around town. It’s like you never even left.” 

“I’d agree, but,” Yu tilted his head, “I think Nanako got taller when I wasn’t looking.”

“That’ll happen,” Yosuke lamented. “And she’ll be a whole year older tomorrow.”

Just that statement alone made Yu’s face start to pale.

Yosuke just laughed, patting his friend’s shoulder comfortingly. “Cheer up, she’d be upset if you looked sad.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Yu sighed, before straightening up.

Yosuke bumped Yu’s shoulder with his own when they arrived at the Dojima house. “Well, no time to waste.”

Yu nodded, eyes determined. “Right.”

About 10 minutes later, Yosuke was acting as a functional chopping machine. Granted, the pieces didn’t look great, but Yu assured they didn’t need to look perfect.

(“So, what’re we makin’, chef-san?”

“Nothing crazy. I’m thinking pork katsu curry, and maybe some tempura. I hope we have enough rice.”

“No cake?”

“Rise told me very strictly not to make one.”

“Shouldn’t we, um… be concerned?”

“Maybe. We can bake cookies just in case.”)

Sure, Yosuke’s knife skills were never going to match Yu’s, but that really was not the main issue. The problem was that he was gonna cut his own hand off if he didn’t stop taking quick glances over at the taller boy and realizing how horribly screwed he was.

It’s not like he’s not a good-looking guy, Yosuke thought, slicing into some pumpkin. I mean, duh, I don’t think there’s a single girl in this town who didn’t at some point have the hots for him. Yosuke looked over at Yu again, attempting to be stealthy, then almost choked on his own spit when he saw that he’d rolled his sleeves up, allowing a full view of his toned arms. Oh my god. Oh my god.

“All good?”

“Yep!” Yosuke squeaked, extremely unconvincing.

Alright, so… maybe Yosuke skipped the very important first step in preparing to see Yu again. That first step being the thing he always does when preparing to do anything at all: panic. He’d been trying to convince himself for the past week that everything would be fine—come on, it’s just Yu, right?— but then he had to face his shadow for the second time and he possibly may have realized he was repressing some general anxiety and self-doubt that was maybe probably definitely going to affect how he decided to come clean to his best friend. Come out, more like. Shit.

“It’s all gonna get fried, so don’t stress on making perfect slices.”

“I know,” Yosuke laughed nervously, his chest still burning. “Yep, I got it.”

How is this happening? Yosuke’s mind continued to race. Having a crush on him is one thing, but I’m actually attracted to him? What?

Something that felt suspiciously like Susano-o rolled its eyes hard enough to cause pain in Yosuke’s temples.

Shut up.

Yosuke heard a faint sound behind him, and peeked back to see Yu taking a small taste test of his curry gravy. His tongue darted out to the corner of his lip, and Yosuke almost stabbed himself in the face with how fast he shoved his hands into his eyes.

This is how I die.

YOU’RE SO GAY.

It’s just him, okay! 

“Hey, Yosuke.”

“Yeah? What’s up?” Yosuke prayed his voice didn’t just crack.

“Would you want to see a concert?”

“A concert? Hell yeah,” Yosuke agreed emphatically. “I haven’t been to one since I left Tokyo. I mean, not counting that last-minute show with Rise at Junes.”

“Right, not like that,” Yu chuckled. 

“Why do you ask?”

“It’s almost as if you forgot we both listened to that album a month ago the day it came out over the phone together,” Yu said lightly. 

“The– no, you didn’t,” Yosuke froze in his tracks. “You got tickets for the show in March?”

“Maybe,” Yu murmured, trying to gauge Yosuke’s reaction. 

“Dude!” Yosuke exclaimed. “Yes, yes– a billion times yes, what the hell, man! I could–” kiss you right now, Yosuke was going to say. That would’ve been awkward. “I would drop everything to go to that show with you.”

“Good,” Yu nodded calmly. “Because they’re not actually on sale yet and I wanted to ask before I bought them.”

“Ugh, bro!” Yosuke groaned, and Yu just laughed. “You got me all crazy psyched now. …Thank you. In advance, I guess.”

“Of course,” Yu replied easily. “I’m looking forward to it. I’ve never been to a concert before.”

“Oh, dude, you are in for a treat,” Yosuke encouraged. “Maybe bring some earplugs though.”

“Ah, yeah, that might be a good idea.”

“I’m, um,” Yosuke scratched his neck (not with the hand with the knife, thankfully), “I’m glad you like that kind of music. Well, I hope you do, anyway. Maybe I was just being annoying about it.”

“You weren’t,” Yu said honestly. “I do like it. I’m glad you introduced me to it.”

Yosuke couldn’t fight the growing blush on his face, somehow worse than the one he’d had when he’d been checking Yu out. “Um. Yeah. Anytime.”

“Speaking of introducing things, though,” Yu continued, “Remember you mentioned Trigun to Naoto back in June? They actually started reading it.”

“What? They never told me,” Yosuke was shocked. 

“I probably shouldn’t have told you either, but I felt bad,” Yu told him. “They said the only reason they didn’t mention it is because they knew you’d probably spoil something like you did with that movie last November.”

“That was– okay, yeah, I did feel pretty shitty about that. Fair enough, I won’t mention it until they tell me they finish.”

“You can always talk about it with me,” Yu offered. 

“I know,” Yosuke sighed. “I just feel like there’s not much more to say that I haven’t already.”

Yu hummed in thought. “Do you think it could be adapted into a live action film?”

“How the hell would they pull off Fifth Moon?”

That train of discussion alone lasted them about an hour. Yosuke realized he’d started completely losing track of time, returning to his and Yu’s normal routine of talking nonsense for what felt like no time at all. He loved the feeling he had in his chest, something light and comfortable, completely clearing any doubts or fears in favor of just being with Yu again. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face that whole afternoon.

When Nanako and her dad returned after a little while, they both visibly brightened at the sight of Yu getting to work in the kitchen. Yu, of course, didn’t hesitate in the slightest to drop everything he was doing and hug them both. 

JEALOUS?

Quit that.

“Ah, you’re here too, Hanamura,” Dojima observed. “I thought you mentioned you’d be working all weekend.”

Yosuke laughed nervously. “Um, well…”

“He’s been a big help,” Yu pitched in. “I think we’ll be done with plenty of time to spare before the others arrive.”

“It’s nothing, really,” Yosuke tried to say. “I probably would’ve–”

“Though I too can’t ignore that he cut work.” Yu crossed his arms, the look of faux-disappointment evident on his face.

Yosuke frowned now. “You’re so cruel,” he sighed dramatically. “All I wanted to do was lend a hand. Your Big Bro is such a meanie sometimes,” he stage-whispered offhand to Nanako.

“You made a commitment, Yosuke,” Yu chastised lightly.

Nanako giggled behind her hand, knowing their argument was just for show. “Please don’t fight.”

Those words, though, caused Yosuke and Yu’s hearts to drop into their stomachs. 

“We weren’t–”

“We wouldn’t dream of–”

“Alright, alright, enough,” Dojima waved his hand dismissively. Nanako continued to smile sunnily while the boys regained their breath. “Thanks for keeping Yu company while we were out.” 

“Y-yeah of course, it was no trouble at all,” Yosuke assured. “Oh, crap,” he realized suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” Yu asked.

“I left work so quick I forgot Nanako-chan’s present at home,” Yosuke apologized, shoulders dropping. “I’ll go and grab it.”

“Or you could just ask Teddie to bring it over,” Yu suggested simply. “I’m sure he needs to go home to get his present as well.”

“Good thinking!” Yosuke pulled out his phone to text Teddie. 

But now the problem was they had about a full hour or so before the others were supposed to arrive. Dojima took off briefly for an unknown errand. Yosuke puttered about after completing his previously interrupted task with brief thanks from Yu. He finally settled on sitting with Nanako watching her quiz show, on which he couldn’t get more than one or two answers correct. From the corner of his eye, Yu wiped his hands off on a dry cloth and sat on the opposite side of Nanako. Nanako easily slipped in between the two with a wide smile, quietly putting either hand on top of the two boys’. 

“Big Bro, you’re the only one who didn’t see Rise-nee’s present,” Nanako said absently.

“I remember, she got you a big makeup set,” Yu nodded.

“Yeah, but you didn’t get to see it,” she insisted.

Yu’s face was characteristically blank, perhaps in thought, then said, “ah,” then looked at Yosuke straight in the eye without saying another word.

“Wh– Hey, what’re you looking at?!”

“You saw it too, didn’t you?”

The other boy looked away carefully. “What exactly are you implying,” though Yosuke knew exactly what he was implying.

“You still didn’t tell me what color nails you wanted,” Nanako looked up expectantly.

Yosuke chuckled nervously. “D-didn’t I…?” His eyes trail to Yu’s again, who had a curious brow raised himself. “Um, do you have orange?”

“I’ll take black, if you have,” Yu piped up.

“What?” Yosuke sniped back. “Dude, seriously?”

“What’s wrong?”

“That’s, like… boring.”

“Plenty of people wear black nail polish,” Yu argued.

“Yeah, but you wear nothing but gray, it doesn’t come off the same,” Yosuke waved his hand in an absent circle. “It would probably look better if we swapped colors at this point.”

“Orange doesn’t look good with my complexion.”

“I don’t have those colors,” Nanako told them. “You’re both getting purple.”

Yu and Yosuke did not speak any further.

The first knock on the door came about half an hour later while Yu was still working on Yosuke’s nails, prompting Nanako to open the door to reveal Teddie.

“Hiya Nana-chan!”

“Hi Teddie! Are those for me?” She pointed at the presents in his arms.

“Yep,” though he held them just barely out of reach. “But you can’t open it yet! Saving the best for last and everything… oh, but you can take Yosuke’s, though.”

Yosuke raged while he still had one hand in Yu’s grasp, “Teddie–!”

The next to arrive were Chie and Yukiko.

“Happy birthday Nanako-chan!” Chie cheered the moment she walked through the door.

Yukiko then proceeded to gasp dramatically behind her. “Have you already gotten taller?”

Yu barely hid the way he clutched his chest, and Yosuke stifled his laugh with a, “don’t mess up your nails, partner.”

A few minutes later, instead of a rap on the doorframe, everyone heard a loud “yo, open up!” from outside, followed by a weary voice saying “please, this is getting heavy,” then Rise bursting through the door with a “surprise!”

To the group's utter shock and horror, in Kanji and Naoto’s hands was a giant cake which likely passed more as a wedding stack than a birthday cake. Naoto was clearly struggling to keep their arms steady, while Kanji equally struggled in keeping his balance and not letting the cake topple onto his much shorter friend. 

“Um,” Yosuke said offside to Yu, “I guess that explains why she didn’t want you to make a cake.”

“It’s enormous,” Yu observed with awe.

“Don’t just stand there, dammit, help us out!” Kanji barked. 

“How did you even manage to get this down the street?” Chie quickly relieved the burden from Naoto.

“Performer’s secret!” Rise answered.

“Truck,” Naoto corrected, still catching their breath. “Neither of us were at the wheel, for your information.”

“Not like we thought you were,” Yosuke commented dryly, steadying the cake as well.

“Explains how Dojima-san’s ride just miraculously showed up,” Chie took a quick glance out the door.

“Ooh, does this mean we’re having dessert before dinner?” Yukiko asked far too excitedly.

“Yes please!” Teddie chimed in.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Yu nodded in agreement.

They all turned their heads to Dojima just now entering the house, who averted his gaze slowly. 

“Uh uh,” Nanako shook her head, “I wanna eat what Big Bro made first.”

“Me too,” Rise agreed. 

In minutes, everyone was scattered all over the house with their respective plates in hand, chatting enthusiastically around the almost comically large cake.

“Honestly, it looks too good to eat,” Yosuke couldn’t help but stare. 

“Mhm,” Rise swayed from side to side, still glowing with pride. “Called up the best caterer I know to get it shipped down!”

Yosuke found himself unsurprised that she didn’t, in fact, bake this cake herself. “Is this what you needed my help with today?”

“Yeah,” Rise confirmed with a shrug, “but you wanted to ditch to hang out with Senpai. I get it.” 

“That’s not–” Yosuke scratched his head, slightly ashamed, “I didn’t exactly plan on it. Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Rise laughed, “like I said, I get it. No hard feelings. You should probably be apologizing to Naoto, though.”

Yikes. “I’ll do that,” Yosuke dipped his head. 

On the other side of the room, Naoto was speaking to Yu in seemingly low tones, and Yu had a contemplative look on his face. Whatever they were talking about, it seemed serious. Yosuke would drop his apology later.

“So…” Chie drawled out from beside him, “Yu told me that you helped out in the kitchen today.”

“Sure,” Yosuke wouldn’t rise to the bait. “My arms are still stiff, though.”

“Dang, he worked you that hard?”

“Barely! I meant from your training two days ago! My whole body still aches,” he whined.

“Yosuke, I told you to just use cold compresses and a hot bath,” Chie frowned. 

Yosuke squinted, “Say that to someone who doesn’t have a job that has them on their feet all day. I passed out as soon as I got home.”

Chie raised a brow, “Well, you’re lucky you didn’t cut your own hand off.”

“Aren’t I,” Yosuke mumbled, but his brain did not conjure images of Chie yelling in his face to keep doing military burpees, rather Yu’s intense gaze and gentle encouragement.

“You’re so lame,” Chie rolled her eyes, taking a bite of Yu’s curry.

“Say that again, I dare you!”

Now when he glanced over at Yu, Teddie was in his face gesticulating wildly. Yu had a patient smile, and reached up to pat Teddie’s head. 

“Yosuke-senpai,” came Naoto’s voice from behind.

Yosuke’s heart briefly dropped. “Hey, Naoto-kun,” he chuckled, unsure of their tone.

“Looks like the party is going well,” Naoto tried conversationally.

Their energy was still difficult for Yosuke to match, “yeah…” 

He took a sip from the soda can he had in hand, and Naoto likewise fiddled with the tab of their own. 

Finally, Yosuke decided to bite the bullet, “look, I–”

“I started reading Trigun,” Naoto said suddenly.

Yosuke’s brain processes halted. “Huh.”

“I know I seemed disinterested when you first mentioned it,” Naoto tugged their cap down in mild embarrassment, “but I saw one of the volumes a few weeks ago and I thought the art was… cool.”

“Oh,” Yosuke tried to act surprised. “I’m… glad?”

“Don’t spoil anything! I’ve only read the first three volumes…”

“You could’ve just borrowed my copies, y’know,” Yosuke tilted his head. 

“I was… embarrassed,” they admitted. 

“I see,” Yosuke crossed his arms, “you didn’t want to admit I have good taste.”

“That isn’t true at all!” Naoto argued just a tad too loudly.

“I’m joking,” Yosuke reassured with a smile. “I wanted to say also, sorry for bailing on you guys with the cake. I’m sure Rise told you I said I couldn’t make it.”

“Oh, it was… no trouble.”

Yosuke snorted. “You can be honest.”

“…My arms sort of hurt.” 

“Chie told me cold compresses work,” Yosuke shrugged. “Not that I’d really know from my own experience though.”

“Thank you,” Naoto said regardless.

“‘S the least I can do.”

When Yosuke peered around this time, Yu was trying to help Dojima place candles on the cake. Even though Nanako was only turning 8 years old, she kept jumping up and down asking to put more and more candles. Yu already had a box full of them at the ready, but Dojima stopped him with a firm hand, much to both Yu and Nanako’s obvious disappointment. 

“Yosuke, you’ve barely eaten anything,” Yukiko pointed out when she saw him only with his drink in hand.

“Nah, I loaded up first thing,” Yosuke told her, “you know I can never turn down Yu’s cooking. I don’t think I realized exactly how much I missed having his lunches until I actually ate his food again.”

“I understand completely,” Yukiko put another spoonful of curry in her mouth. “They say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, you know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing,” Yukiko chuckled at a joke only she was in on. 

Yu was next to Rise now, talking about something or other as they walked towards the stairs. That was a bit… odd. Yosuke decided not to think too hard about it and sat next to Kanji, who was staring holes into the pile of Nanako’s gifts that were in front of the television. 

“Nice nails,” he complimented, though the tone was harsh. Nervous energy surrounded the large boy as he fidgeted with his hands.

With a roll of his eyes, Yosuke tried to reassure him, “she’ll like it, dude.”

“You should be more worried about yourself,” Kanji shot back. 

Yosuke visibly deflated. Kanji noticed and bumped his senpai’s shoulder. 

“Yo, what’d I say? I wouldn’t’ve let you screw this up. We’re bearing this burden together.”

“You make it sound like we killed someone,” Yosuke put his face in his hand. 

“Chin up, senpai. Eat some more or somethin’,” Kanji suggested.

“Does everyone notice when I’ve lost weight or something? Geez,” Yosuke pouted. 

Kanji just shrugged. “No offense, but you’re kind of a beanpole, man.”

“Compared to you!” Yosuke threw his hands up, exasperated. And compared to Yu, his brain supplied unhelpfully. 

Nanako then decided to promptly sit in front of them. Dojima took one glance up the stairs and then said to the room at large, “alright, it’s presents time.”

“Yay! Can I open yours first, Dad?”

“Sure thing,” Dojima said, handing over a somewhat flat box that had been messily wrapped in packing paper. 

Nanako didn’t hesitate to rip it apart, cueing Yukiko into grabbing a garbage bag for the loose shreds of paper. Her eyes went huge when she opened the box, revealing a white dress with pastel flowers seemingly painted all over it. “It’s so pretty!”

“I’m glad you like it– oof,” Dojima huffed when Nanako ran into his arms for a hug, squeezing to the point where her father started to wheeze. “You underestimate your strength, kiddo.”

“I’m super strong, like Big Bro!” She flexed a bicep.

The group started to hear a bit of a commotion from upstairs, then saw Yu walking down with a large box, and Rise calling from behind him, “wait, let me help!” 

“Be careful,” Yu placed the box at Nanako’s feet. If placed vertically, it was nearly up to Nanako’s shoulder. 

“Can I open it?” Nanako looked at the neat wrapping and light blue paper.

“Of course.” 

Yu smiled, and Rise took the chance to fold her hands behind her and lean towards Nanako. “This one’s technically from both of us.”

Nanako took better care of opening the present this time, though once she made a small tear, all attempts at gentleness went out the window. Once completely unwrapped, a large electronic keyboard was revealed. The room exploded with shocked noises, along with cheering and a bunch of excited ‘thank you’s from Nanako. 

“Can I curse?” Kanji asked quietly.

“No,” Yosuke told him sternly.

“Holy… crap.”

“I remembered you said you wanted to learn the piano after the Junes show,” Yu explained to Nanako. “And your dad mentioned that your mom used to play. Naoto was nice enough to offer to teach you.” The detective in question nodded silently in confirmation.

“And when Yu-senpai brought it up to me, I knew it was perfect!” Rise added. “Anything for my biggest fan.”

“Looks like we’ve got major competition,” Chie put her hands on her hips.

“You expect us to one-up that?” Yosuke hissed.

“It wasn’t intended to be any kind of contest,” said Naoto somewhat exhaustedly.

“Only the best for Nana-chan!” Teddie roused. Everyone was obviously inclined to agree. “Okay, me next!”

“I thought you wanted to go last, Teddie,” Nanako remembered.

“I changed my mind!” Which was a surprise to no one.

“Okay!” 

Yosuke already knew what Teddie’s gift was. On a seemingly random day in August he asked Yosuke about things he’d spotted in a jewelry advertisement, which Yosuke only observed curiously before realizing the dumb bear had intended to buy something from it (with Yosuke’s money, of course), leading to Yosuke hitting him over the head with the rolled up magazine. Yosuke eventually conceded in telling Teddie what his own gift was, inspiring Teddie’s own.

“You made this for me?” Nanako held up the string of beads full of discordant bright colors and wildly unique shapes.

“I had some leftover crafts from when I was a little kid,” Chie told her. “Teddie asked about homemade stuff girls would like, so I was more than happy to give it up.”

“I love it! Thank you, Teddie,” she hugged the blonde boy.

“I knew you would, ‘cause my present’s the best!”

“Everyone’s present is the best,” Nanako said with a wide smile. 

“Hmm… I guess that’s fine.”

Chie piped up once more. “Alright, next!”

The rest of the gifts went with a similar nervous and excited energy, though the former was easily drowned out by Nanako’s constant enthusiasm. Yukiko gifted Nanako a hair ornament that matched her own formal one she would wear with her kimono during special events; it was a delicate branch of small pink sakura blooms that would clip into a tight bun. Chie got her a puffy pink winter coat, “so next time you can come with us when we all go skiing!” Naoto gave her a set of fancy watercolor paints, anxiously explaining that they weren’t exactly sure what to get, but thought about things they would’ve wanted when they were younger. Kanji eventually revealed that he bought her a bunch of paper cut diorama sets, remembering Nanako’s school project they’d worked on together the year prior. Finally, Yosuke offered the scarf he’d knitted with help from Kanji, which Nanako rubbed her face all over before Dojima helped her put it on properly. 

“It’s perfect!” Nanako said brightly.

Yosuke couldn’t manage more than a wink and a thumbs up, though Kanji didn’t hesitate to rowdily slap him on the back with a laugh, causing the older boy to sputter and cough. 

“We’ve all waited long enough!” Teddie declared suddenly. “I’m going to jump in the cake!”

Yosuke sighed, “No, someone would jump out of the cake… hold on, don’t you DARE–!”

The cake was delicious, and gloriously not jumped-into. To avoid passing out from how stuffed they all were, everyone left one by one, promising to meet up again the next day in the morning before Yu left town again.

Yosuke was the last to depart, helping Yu clean up despite the boy’s protests.

“This was nice,” Yu commented after the house was quiet once more. Nanako was asleep against her dad’s side on the couch.

“With everyone’s help,” Yosuke agreed. Yu hummed in assent. When the air became stagnant and awkward, Yosuke took a deep breath before asking, “hey, wanna head to the floodplain for a bit?”

With one last glance to his cousin and uncle, Yu turned back with a nod, and the two were off.

~*~

“Well, we’re here,” Yosuke announced. “Feels like it’s been forever since we were last here together, y’know, just the two of us.”

“The fistfight,” Yu recalled.

Yosuke chuckled, “Yeah—damn, I had the cops called on my ass for that. As if the one time wasn’t enough…”

Yu couldn’t hide his own amusement as well. “The damage was equal.”

“True, but I feel like you tanked those punches way better than I did,” Yosuke argued. “My whole body felt like one big bruise.”

“It was what you asked for,” Yu said.

“Yeah, it was. And I wouldn’t take it back.”

The two took a seat at the slowly receding autumn grass beside the river. The sounds of the water rushed in their ears like a background melody, the chirping of cicadas in the setting sun a steady whistle in the distance. 

“Yosuke,” Yu finally spoke up. “Is everything alright?”

“Aha,” Yosuke sighed under his breath. “Who sold me out?”

“Rise,” Yu responded. “And Naoto. And Kanji. And Teddie.”

“Uhh,” Yosuke raised a brow sarcastically. “Anyone else?”

“Yukiko, too,” Yu told him. “In different words, but similar sentiment.”

“Figures,” Yosuke muttered. “I’m apparently the only good gossip these days. Well, any day, to be honest. What have they been saying?”

“Just that you were asking them for help and advice. They were surprised, it sounds like.”

“And what do you think?”

“I wasn’t going to make any assumptions,” Yu said seriously. “I was going to ask you myself and trusted that you would tell me the truth.”

Yosuke blinked once, then smiled. “Well, thanks for that.”

“No need for thanks.”

And then Yu waited patiently, watching as Yosuke took a few thoughtful breaths while gazing out onto the shimmering lake. 

“Well,” Yosuke started. “The last time we were here, I said there was a part of me that was jealous of you. But really, it was because I wish I could be just like you. You’re kind, and smart, and strong, and confident… you get along with everyone and you’re able to learn from them. It’s so insanely admirable I had no idea how a person like you could even exist.

“Then when we fought, you totally knocked some sense into me. I didn’t have the right words for it at the time—that even though there was that part of myself I needed to face, I didn’t have to do it on my own. And for once in my life, I was willing to work hard to be better. I didn’t want to feel like I had to seek out excitement just so I could feel alive. I wanted to be able to live my life and just… be happy.” Blinking quickly, Yosuke then hastily added, “…Uh, sorry if that sounds kinda…”

“No,” Yu shook his head. “I understand.”

“Cool,” Yosuke replied awkwardly. “So, I guess… these past few months since you left, I’ve been getting some help from everyone. But, man, I don’t know you did it… You make everything look so easy, meanwhile, I…” he shrugged his shoulders listlessly, “I keep finding more and more challenges, so much so that sometimes it almost feels… impossible.”

Yu opened his mouth to speak, probably with a statement of encouragement. Before he lost his nerve to finally say what he’d intended, Yosuke ignored him and continued.

“The truth is,” he took a shaky breath, “I didn’t just want to get better for my own sake. There’s,” he struggled to find the words, “something I want, for my future, for my life. And I don’t just want to feel like I’ve earned it. I want to feel like– like I’ve earned the right to even want it.”

“What do you mean?” Yu tried to meet Yosuke’s eyes.

“It’s just…” Yosuke shoved a hand into his hair quickly, shaking his head. “Dammit, this is so freakin’ frustrating…” He crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously.

“Everyone seems so prepared to go on with their lives. And I never really cared much about the future before but now it feels like it’s coming so fast I can’t stop it and I’m… I’m scared,” Yosuke’s voice cracked on the final word, “I’m scared that without you guys, I’m nothing. …I don’t want to keep feeling like this. I want to feel like I’m enough. I want to feel like I’m okay. Like I deserve to feel okay. I want to feel like I deserve… to ask you not to go,” tears slipped down his cheeks then, and Yu gasped unconsciously at the sight, raising a hand slowly to attempt a gesture of comfort.

Yosuke’s fists gripped onto his own sleeves tightly. “I want to feel strong enough… to tell you how much I like you.”

Yu froze in place. 

Yosuke sniffled, and rubbed his face quickly with a bitter scoff. “And now I’m crying in front of you. …Again.”

Right before Yosuke was about to cross his arms back again, Yu’s hand grasped his tightly. “Yosuke.”

Yosuke looked down at their clasped hands with wide, unblinking eyes. He said in a near-whisper, “I… I’m sorry, I… I can’t stop shaking. Why… why does this hurt so much?”

“Yosuke,” Yu repeated, forcing the other boy to face his eyes. “Forget the future for just a moment. What do you want, right now?”

“Right now?” Yosuke echoed breathlessly. “Right now, I…” he exhaled, in a sort of hysterical laugh. “I really, really… wanna kiss you.”

And not even a second later, Yu kissed him.

When he pulled back, Yosuke sputtered like crazy, rising to his feet in a panic. 

“Wh– What the hell was that?!”

Yu’s face was contorted with confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“You– I–” Yosuke took a step back, reeling. “Why did you do that? Not even, like, a warning…? That’s… that’s really not funny, dude.”

And Yu realized immediately his mistake was acting before he spoke. He needed to rectify this, now. 

He stood up slowly, watching Yosuke’s gaze carefully. “Yosuke, look at me.”

“…What?”

Yu spoke, with all the confidence and clarity he could muster, “You’re… you’ve always been special to me. And I’m so happy and honored beyond belief to have your trust as your friend—no, as your partner. I feel… that it’s the very least that I can do to make you happy. I want to be the person who makes you happy.”

Yosuke stared. Then, his brows furrowed and he hissed in irritation. “Y-you… you jackass!” Yu opened his mouth, but before he could get out a word, Yosuke grabbed him in a hug. “I was… I was the one who was supposed to say that.”

“Sorry,” Yu apologized sincerely, hugging Yosuke back tightly.

“Dammit, don’t apologize, now I feel like an asshole,” Yosuke mumbled tearfully. 

Their embrace lasted much longer than it likely should’ve, but Yu stubbornly didn’t let go until Yosuke was cried out.

“Damn… shit…!” Yosuke started cursing at himself, angry tears streaming down his face. “I… don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he said, teeth gritted. “This… it still freakin’ hurts. So damn bad.”

“How so?”

Yosuke bit his own tongue for what he’s about to say. “I still feel like all this mushy crap is for girls.”

Yu paused thoughtfully. “Why does every emotion have to be for girls?”

“I don’t know!” Yosuke cried frustratedly. “But my chest hurts like I’m being stabbed, almost like I’m dying. And my body won’t stop shaking, like it’s screaming at me to let go. To run away.” 

“Is that what you want?” Yu asked softly.

“No,” Yosuke said, and although his voice was still trembling and wet with tears, it was certain. “I hate how this feels… so wrong. But I… I still want this so damn much. So please,” he begged. “Please don’t let me go. No matter what I say.”

“I won’t,” Yu assured. “I don’t want to let go. And you can hold on as tight as you’d like. I’ll still be here.”

“Thank you,” Yosuke smiled, finally, and rested his head on Yu’s shoulder. “I can always count on you, partner.”

“And thank you,” Yu returned, “for counting on me.”

When Yosuke eventually stopped crying, the sun was well below the horizon, and the two stood calmly, a somewhat safe distance away from each other. Yosuke had a slight slouch, hands in his pockets, while Yu had a casual hand on one hip.

“So, what now?” Yu asked.

Yosuke blinked. “Uh,” he replied intelligently. 

Yu reasoned, “We would have to be long-distance for a little while, but we’ve applied to the same universities, right?”

“Um, yeah, right,” Yosuke said hastily.

“Something wrong?”

“No, uh,” Yosuke’s eyes trailed towards the ground. “I just– I didn’t really think this far. I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

“Huh?”

“You know what I mean!” Yosuke huffed. “Like, come on, how the hell was I supposed to know you felt the same way I did?”

“Don’t you think that sentiment is the same for me as well?”

“...Yeah, that’s fair,” Yosuke supposed. “So, you like… guys and girls?”

“Pretty much,” Yu confirmed. “And yourself?”

“I’m… honestly not really sure anymore,” Yosuke scratched the back of his head. “Maybe I’m into anyone who’ll even look at me,” he shrugged, vaguely self-deprecating. “But you, man? Seriously, I thought you of all people had taste. Like… me? For real?”

Yu looked at him strangely. “Should I have told you sooner?”

“Ugh, yeah, probably not,” Yosuke realized, cringing at the memories of things that barely happened a few months ago. “How long have you, uh, liked me?”

Yu hummed for a moment before answering, “Probably over a year?”

“A year?!” Yosuke screeched. “Dude, holy shit. Uh–” he stopped himself. “Is that weird? That I’m still calling you dude?”

“Why would it be weird?”

“I dunno,” Yosuke shrugged. “Aren’t we, um, supposed to call each other things that don’t sound like that?”

“Yosuke,” Yu chided, and that was really all that needed to be said.

“I got it, geez,” Yosuke said, running a hand through his hair, “sorry, this is, it’s, y’know.”

“Weird.”

“Uh huh.”

“It’s weird for me, too.”

“Really? You’re taking it like a champ, though, for real.”

“Thanks. You’re really helping me.”

“I am?”

“Yeah,” Yu said honestly. “It feels good that I’m not the only one.”

“Oh, yeah, I guess you’re right.”

They stood for a little while longer, slowly inching closer together again.

“Do you want me to call you other names?” Yu asked out of the blue.

“Huh? Like, um, pet names?” The words alone brought a flush to Yosuke’s cheeks.

“Yeah.”

“Uh,” Yosuke grimaced unconsciously. “Maybe not right now? I’ll get back to you on it.”

“Okay.”

“Do… do you want me to call you something else?”

“No, I’m fine with whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Okay.”

They were standing shoulder to shoulder now. 

“Yosuke,” Yu spoke up.

“Yeah?”

“If you kiss me back now, we’d be even.”

Yosuke looked over at Yu’s completely straight face and snorted. “Oh my God, you’re such a dork.”

Yu managed a smile. “Are you saying you don’t want to? Get even, I mean?”

“I didn’t say that,” Yosuke chuckled, albeit nervously. “I seriously cannot believe you.”

“What are we waiting for, then?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Yosuke huffed before leaning in to finally kiss Yu. Then Yu gladly returned the kiss. Then again. And again. And again. And then several more times back and forth between the two of them that it was almost embarrassing. 

At some point, Yosuke started to beg Yu to stop but the taller boy refused, and Yosuke honestly couldn’t be any happier that he didn’t. He laughed so hard that his sides started to ache and his face muscles twinged, but it was such a wonderful sort of pain, a pain that reminded him of the last time he and his partner had visited this place. 

“You know,” Yosuke said aloud, somewhat incredulous.

“Hm?” Yu pressed another kiss to Yosuke’s neck.

“Stop it,” Yosuke tried to push his face away fruitlessly. “I think all my problems would’ve been solved back then if we’d just been making out. Y’know, instead of punching each other.”

“Maybe,” Yu agreed. “But you already said you didn’t really know how you felt then.”

“Yeah,” Yosuke supposed. Then he shrugged. “Thinking about it is boring though. Can we go back to what we were doing?”

“You don’t even need to ask.”

~*~

The mortification finally returned when Yu asked Yosuke to stay the night. It was obviously an innocent request, but of course Yosuke couldn’t help the thoughts that flooded his brain at the suggestion, and of course Yu had only looked on amusedly as his partner sputtered wildly. After some proper begging and groveling on Yosuke’s end with his parents, he finally had a go bag to sleep over at the Dojimas’.

When the two stepped through the door, they were still hand in hand, laughing softly from whatever nonsense conversation topic they’d already moved past. Nanako stirred from where she sat on the couch, prompting the two boys to freeze. They stared at each other with a finger to their lips saying “SHHH” at the same time, giggling under their breath. Upon seeing Nanako’s now wide eyes staring at them, they both panicked briefly—Yosuke’s blood running cold for a moment before Yu squeezed his hand comfortingly. Nanako approached them, pausing when she saw their entwined hands, then grinned broadly, running at the two with a hug. 

Yu and Yosuke looked at each other, then back down at the girl hugging both of them at once. “This is the best birthday ever,” she whispered. Still on the couch, the elder Dojima peeked over with one eye open, expression openly glad.

Later that night, after about 10 minutes of negotiating who would sleep on the couch and who would take the futon, Yu and Yosuke both decided to sleep on the floor crammed into the same futon. 

“This was a terrible idea,” Yosuke noted, his leg pressed firmly against Yu’s.

“I would’ve taken the couch,” Yu reminded.

“Yeah, nice try.”

The room was silent once more, save the light crackle of the wind from outside. 

“Hey, so, um,” Yosuke started. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“You know what,” Yosuke tried, “for, y’know, everything. Being my friend. And, like… all the other stuff I can’t find the words for right now.”

“That’s not necessary,” Yu told him. “If anything, I think I should be thanking you.”

“Huh? Why though?”

“Being my partner. And all the other stuff you don’t know you’ve done for me.”

“That I don’t know?” Yosuke turned to face the other boy. “Dude, you can’t just leave me hanging like that.”

Yu’s smile was small, sentimental. “Hey, aren’t I allowed to be embarrassed too?”

“No,” Yosuke said immediately, though lighthearted. 

“I see,” Yu replied, serious tone overshadowed by the look of barely suppressed laughter. “I don’t think I’d be who I am without you.”

“That’s…” Yosuke was quick to deny, “that can’t be true.”

“That’s why I said you didn’t know,” said Yu. “You have no idea how grateful I am that you pulled me out of my shadow and became friends with me. That the person I was before coming here was just a hollow shell, going through the motions of existing without taking any moment to stop and live. But you were the first one who ever wanted to just be with me, share a real connection with me. You were the first bond I ever forged here, the catalyst for all my future relationships—meanwhile I was still completely unaware of how rewarding they would all be regardless of my unique powers. I’m happy that I met you, Yosuke. I can only hope that someday you’ll really understand how much you mean to me.”

Throughout the whole speech, Yosuke had become increasingly more and more flustered, floundering in his brain for a rebuttal, to the point that when Yu was finished, Yosuke was practically curled up, with his head in his hands. As if to put the final nail in his best friend’s coffin, Yu just wrapped his arms around Yosuke and placed a kiss on the top of his head. 

“I hate you,” Yosuke grumbled.

“You’re breaking my heart,” Yu replied without any trace of woe.

Yosuke peeked through his fingers. “Haven’t I suffered enough humiliation for one day?”

“No.”

“You suck.”

“At least you’re only with me tonight,” said Yu, a teasing grin on his lips.

“Right, when it comes to tomorrow it’s no mercy,” Yosuke whined, already imagining how the others will make fun of him relentlessly.

“Yosuke,” Yu spoke just above a whisper, slightly alarming Yosuke. “I’m sorry.”

“Hm? I wasn’t serious, I’m fine,” Yosuke told him honestly.

“No, not about any of that,” Yu corrected, “about earlier. I’m sorry you had to feel like that. Like you didn’t deserve to be sad or it would equate to weakness, or guilty for not living up to an unreasonable ideal, or angry with yourself… with anyone. With me.”

“Why would I be angry at you?”

“For not telling you the truth.”

“That’s…” Yosuke trailed off. “You didn’t do it to hurt me.”

“Even still,” Yu continued, “I was never going to tell you.”

Yosuke felt the floor fall out from under him. “…What?”

“I knew the right thing was to give up and try to move on from you, be grateful that I still had you in any way I could. It would only hurt the both of us if I kept wishing for something that would never happen, but… a part of me wanted to hold on. It was selfish. I put that undo responsibility onto you. And even if… whatever we have doesn’t go smoothly, I want you to know now that I’m always going to have feelings for you. Even if… even if I never see you again, which terrifies me more than anything.”

Yosuke struggled for words for the hundredth time that night. He regressed to his old habit of forcing himself to say just something, anything to make it sound like he didn’t just ignore everything. 

“I had a dream about you last night.”

Yu blinked, this becoming among the only times Yosuke had ever seen him truly surprised.

“Dammit,” Yosuke cursed immediately after.

“You, um,” Yu shifted, arms still draped around Yosuke loosely. “A… dream, huh?”

“N-not that kind of dream!” Yosuke’s voice cracked on a word, trying and actively failing to be convincing. “Well, maybe– no, nevermind! That’s not it at all, okay?!”

“I believe you.”

“You totally don’t, stop looking at me like that…”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re just going to go along with whatever I say!”

“I’d do that regardless.”

“Shut up already,” Yosuke moaned pathetically. “It was just a normal dream, alright? Just, y’know… one you’d have about a girl…”

“Uh huh…”

“No, not–! Man, I’m really not helping my case.”

“Nope.”

“It was just kissing, okay? I’d never… really thought about kissing a guy before,” Yosuke stammered, “b-but you’re different, you’ve always been different for me! In so many ways, not to mention… I’m trying to tell you I feel the same way, okay? I’m always going to like you, and no one else is ever going to be that person for me. That you’re quite literally the one guy of my dreams. Shit, that sounds so horrible…! Just ignore everything I said…”

When he finally faced Yu again, the silver-haired boy’s cheeks were flushed bright pink. “I hope you understand I will definitely not be doing that,” he told Yosuke.

“Damn it all…” Yosuke closed his eyes.

Yu found this the perfect time to lean his forehead against Yosuke’s, grinning broadly as they shared both searing heat and breath.

“Yosuke,” murmured Yu.

“Y– yeah, partner?”

“You’re really cute, you know that?”

“Take that back, asshole!” 

Yosuke shoved Yu back hard, to which the taller boy only laughed. After refusing to take back his comment, they wrestled around on the floor for a good 10 minutes before settling back into the exact same position but now on a slightly less neat futon, sound asleep. 

~*~

“I’ve gathered you all here for an important reason,” Yosuke began, immediately realizing how stupid he sounded right after saying this.

“Dude, we’re all grouped around this table like an old Investigation Team meeting,” Kanji observed. “Is somethin’ up?”

“Um. Nothing serious,” Yosuke told him, rubbing his arm awkwardly.

“Ugh, these seats are so uncomfortable if you sit for too long though,” Chie whined.

Yosuke face-palmed now, “It won’t be too long, just cool it!”

“You can sit on my lap, if you want!” Teddie offered.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Chie leaned her elbows onto the table, now appearing fully engrossed in what Yosuke was about to say.

That morning, instead of meeting at the Dojima house as originally planned, Yosuke gathered his friends at their familiar table at the Junes food court. The rest of the group agreed easily enough, despite their dubious curiosity. 

Yosuke swallowed, and he could feel Yu’s burning gaze from beside him, clearly struggling to stop himself from holding his partner’s hand in comfort. Regardless, Yosuke was still calmed by his presence alone.

How do I even say this? Do I start with gratitude or apology? Damn it all…

Yu took an audible deep breath for Yosuke to echo back, which he did. 

“I’ve got some stuff on my mind that I think you all deserve to hear,” Yosuke said, not really making eye contact with any particular one of them. Silently, he braced himself for someone’s interruption again, but received none. An odd pause circulated through the group. “You’re, um, cool with that?” Yosuke squeaked out against his better judgment.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Yukiko tilted her head.

“No offense,” Rise’s mouth upturned slightly, “but this isn’t really new for me anymore.”

Kanji chimed in, “Yeah man, you’ve been ventin’ your shit for months, why would now be any different?”

“You too, huh?” Rise’s brows lifted slightly.

Yosuke slumped, “Please tell me it wasn’t that bad…”

“Yosuke-senpai, please,” Naoto cut in, “understand that you’re in a place of support here. I believe all of us are fully equipped to deal with any harsh truths you might say. We’re all your friends, and this exchange has been equal no matter what you think. We wouldn’t dare laugh now after everything.”

“Not me, though,” Chie shrugged. “You can always count on me to humble your ass!”

“Chie,” Yukiko chastised quietly.

Yosuke cracked a smile at that though, finally laughing. Some of the others did too, Teddie in particular being the loudest. Yu looked over briefly before seeing that his partner was truly having a good time and not laughing at himself. 

“No, no,” Yosuke wiped the corner of his eye. “Thanks, Chie. I definitely needed that.” 

The short-haired girl flashed a lazy peace sign and a wink at him. Yosuke snuck a glance at Yu who nodded once. 

“So, I guess you guys all know that I’ve had some stuff going on the past few months that I wanted to talk out with you guys, and I’m sure you want to know why. That’s what I want to tell you.” Yosuke took another breath, steadying his stance. “It’s hard to believe it’s been almost a year and a half since everything first started. The murders, the TV world, the shadows… our shadows,” among the group, there was a mix of disgruntled, uncomfortable, and nervous faces. “Right? I totally get you,” Yosuke couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You faced your shadow before all of us, right?” Rise recalled.

“Yeah, just this guy and Teddie saw it, but… I’m sure you can assume it wasn’t pretty. There was a lot of stuff it said that I didn’t understand… didn’t want to understand. And even after I took all those words at face value and kept moving forward, I knew there was still more that I was scared to think too hard about. So I just stayed… stagnant. I continued to distract myself, and focused all my attention on the murders to avoid confronting the real issues I have. So long as I didn’t try, I wouldn’t ever change. Even now, I’m still just… plain old me.”

“Yosuke…” Yukiko tried.

“But,” Yosuke continued, “I wanted—want—to do what I can, with everything I’ve got. With all of you guys.” He made brief eye contact with each of them. “And not just with the case. More than anything, I wanted to feel like I could… be an equal, to him,” he motioned to Yu, “and I’m sure you guys all know that he’s not just a special guy ‘cause he’s a good fighter.”

“I know, I throw a mean right hook,” Yu praised himself in his usual unserious tone.

“Don’t I know it,” Yosuke rubbed his cheek.

“Sensei, won’t you show me sometime?” Teddie raised his arms excitedly.

“Sure,” agreed Yu.

“Dude, you are setting me up for a world of pain and potential concussions,” Yosuke shook his head.

“Keep going,” Yu returned.

“Ah, yeah, right,” Yosuke snapped his head back to the rest of them, who looked on amusedly. “Okay, I’ve walked around this for long enough. I–” he cut himself off, exhaling harshly. “I was pissed off. Just, seriously mad. At myself, mostly, but also… also at all of you. For living through the same experiences I did, yet continuing on with your lives as better people, knowing your own faults and going on despite it, and not missing the feeling of an electric strike or slash or punch in the face to remind you that you’re being a goddamn moron for being jealous of your own friends. Shit,” he bit the inside of his cheek. 

“Yosuke,” Chie spoke up seriously, tone hushed. “Is that how you really feel?”

“Yeah,” Yosuke admitted. “And for a while, I thought it might even be better if I just avoided the truth. Because otherwise, I would waste away thinking about how even my old ‘friends’ from Tokyo who don’t give a shit about me anymore probably know what universities they want to go to, and the people who I consider my real friends are going to leave me behind when they all inevitably find the things that really make them happy. And I’ll be mad at them for it. Because I was never able to prove myself worthy of anything more than the nothing I was willing to give.” He smiled self-deprecatingly.

“We wouldn’t do that, man, come on,” Kanji said, not angry, but almost sad. 

“And screw those guys in Tokyo, you’ve got way better stuff to have on your mind than those losers,” Rise added. 

“But whatever we say, it doesn’t matter unless you believe us,” Naoto told him seriously. “So do you?”

Yosuke, for all his hard thinking over this, couldn’t bring himself to answer right away. Months had passed now, and that festering feeling he’d now just spilled was something he’d so desperately wished to be rid of by now. Every study session with Yukiko, knitting time with Kanji, shopping trip with Naoto, impromptu meal with Rise, shift with Teddie, and workout with Chie was supposed to prepare him for this moment. He thought of Yu right beside him, how he had never shown fear in the face of those monsters and yet admitted last night that he was scared to lose Yosuke. He wanted to believe in his friends more than anything. He wanted to believe that they won’t forget about him or disregard him as he runs towards them from behind but never catches up. But it was never really about that. He never had to chase after them. He just had to learn that he could just stand still, and we would already be right beside all of them. 

“Yeah. I do.”

Yukiko sighed, relieved. “You had me worried for a second. I’m glad we were all able to help you feel confident enough to say that now.”

“It’s not easy, though. I’ve messed up a lot,” Yosuke said with a sigh.

“All of us have,” Teddie piped up now, shocking everyone. “That’s just part of being a human, duh!”

“A work in progress,” Yu agreed.

“Yeah!”

The others started contributing to this unexpected conversation, Yosuke unconsciously tuning some of it out as he became startlingly aware of the tears behind his eyes. 

It was that easy, huh?  

YOU MORON.

The voice was loud, even overwhelming, but the tone was still oddly fond.

“Wait, is there something else you wanted to say?” Naoto asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Actually, yeah,” Yosuke blinked quickly, clearing his throat to appear normal again. “I just want you all to know first, though, I really am thankful to all of you for helping me get my head out of my ass. I didn’t know if I’d ever feel good enough but I realize it really wasn’t about that–”

“Get on with it!” Chie called, forcing an end to his downward spiral.

“You’re right! Heh, again,” Yosuke pushed his bangs out of his eyes. He wondered vaguely if this admission would be harder or easier to say than the previous one. “So there was kind of another reason for all of this, though it is related. The more I was able to talk with you guys, the better I felt about the kind of person I could really be. It was this kind of excitement I haven’t felt since I was able to fight off the shadows, without the need for literal proof of my own strength. I was honestly kind of shocked—I never knew I had such… heat inside.”

“Wording,” Chie mumbled.

“Oh, shut it,” Yosuke shot back quickly, though embarrassed nonetheless. “Anyway, the point is, the original reason I started talking to everyone was… for someone in particular. And don’t get me wrong, seriously, I’m proud to have all of you as my friends but I’m also super proud to be this guy’s partner. He’s… special, like I said. And– And I–” he choked on his words briefly. “For that reason, I… Ah, fuck it. I’m very much in love with Yu Narukami!” 

He didn’t know exactly what he expected the reaction to be, but somehow, he did not expect the entire group to shout “WHAT?” back in his face.

“You’re being serious?”

“What the hell!”

“That is…”

“W-woah, woah, uh,” Yosuke held his hands up at the onslaught of indignation. “Let’s do this, um, one at a time, maybe…? Uh, I’ll just get this one over with. Teddie?”

“I don’t get it.”

“What… don’t you get, Ted?” Yosuke was mentally preparing for the worst conversation of his life.

“I thought you like girls, Yosuke,” Teddie said, “I mean all the–”

“NOPE! We’re not continuing that next thought. Alright, just to clear the air, Yu is… he’s different. It’s not that I don’t think girls are pretty. I just… don’t really know if I could really be in love with just any cute girl. Is that enough?”

“Hmm…” Teddie comically put a hand to his chin. “Okay.”

“Great. Moving on. Uh,” his eyes darted over to the next person. “I probably deserve this one. Kanji…?”

“Just tell me one thing,” seethed the younger boy. “Did you or did you not come to air out your shit with me to clear your own conscience about bein’ gay?”

“That’s–” Yosuke stopped short. “Yes. Sort of. I wasn’t just doing it so I couldn’t call myself a hypocrite. I had a lot of shit going on about how I thought I was supposed to act, and I know you did too. I wanted to clear everything up between us for that reason, not because of the… gay, thing.” He had never even said the word aloud up until this point. “Cool?”

Kanji had his arms crossed. “Hmph. Yeah. Cool. But don’t hide that kinda shit next time. I thought that was the point of all the talks.”

“Y-yeah, right. You’re right. Next. Naoto-kun?”

“Please, don’t be mistaken, I have no problem,” Naoto adjusted their cap nervously, “I suppose I was just surprised. Though, I know I do have some improvements yet to be made regarding reading emotions… I’m, erm, happy for you. Truly.”

“Oh. Thanks,” Yosuke was pleasantly surprised. “Rise?”

“No objections here! Phew, I was actually getting nervous,” Rise appeared overjoyed, almost glowing, “for a good while I actually thought you might be into me, actually. But this is totally way better!”

“Huh?!” Yosuke exclaimed. “But I– When did I–”

“Don’t sweat it, Yo-chan, seriously,” Rise assured, “now I don’t have to think about how to turn you down!”

“Uh, yeah, great…” Yosuke muttered, vaguely feeling his past self dying inside. “Yukiko– wait, hold on, you didn’t actually say anything.”

Yukiko was smiling pleasantly. “Oh, I already knew.”

“Chie, huh,” Yosuke grinned sarcastically, unamused. He looked over at the girl in question. “And why were you so shocked? I straight up told you!”

“Sure, but I didn’t know you’d be going and making a freakin’ public announcement!” Chie exclaimed. “And besides…”

“I knew before she told me,” Yukiko finished. “I knew both of you had feelings for each other for quite a while.”

“You…” Yosuke was at a loss for words. His head whipped around at his partner finally, who had a mortified expression, “and you! Why did you of all people freak out when I said that? How the hell could you possibly not know?”

Yu’s face fell, looking away, “Last night, you told me you had feelings for me, but not that… that you were in love with me.”

Yosuke’s jaw dropped. “I… I…” he felt the blood leave his face. “Yu, partner, I…” he took the taller boy’s hands in his own. “Dammit, I’m sorry. I know I’ve never been good at saying anything, hell, just now I can’t help but feel like I’ve been going in circles. But I never wanted to make you feel like I wasn’t serious about how I felt about you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that yesterday and you had to find out like this.”

“Yosuke…”

“Crap, I’m already messing everything up again! Please, let me make it up to you partner, I swear I will, I–”

“Yosuke,” Yu had an apologetic yet wide grin spread across his face. “I was just kidding.”

Yosuke blanched. “Are you… are you serious…?”

Yu wrapped his arms around Yosuke firmly, almost making the boy trip as he was still standing while Yu was seated. “I’m sorry for scaring you, I thought you’d know… I know you love me, Yosuke. I’m so happy…” 

Yosuke did fall over then, straight into Yu’s lap. The taller boy did not let up his grip in the slightest, abandoning all concept of PDA in the (albeit vacant besides the team) Junes food court and tucking his face into Yosuke’s neck. 

“I’m okay, just… let me go! Come on,” Yosuke whined.

“But… you’re the one who told me to never let go…” Yu said, feigning sadness.

“Don’t say that now! A-and you guys…!” Yosuke flailed his arm at the rest of the group, who he couldn’t bear to make eye contact with. “Don’t even look at me! Just let me die…”

Yu unabashedly nuzzled his face even closer to Yosuke. “I’d never let you die, Yosuke.”

“Stop talking, oh my god,” Yosuke pleaded. “How do I make you stop?”

“Do you really want me to?”

Yosuke became dangerously quiet.

“Oookay, well, now that we’ve been thoroughly mentally scarred, how is this going to work out? Yu is still leaving tomorrow, unless you want us to find a duffle bag big enough to fit you,” Chie stood up from her chair, stretching to avoid looking at the two.

“We can– stop biting me– wait until university, but thanks for the concern,” Yosuke gritted out. 

Yu frowned. “Can we…?”

“Don’t mess around now, dude, you can’t fool me twice.”

“Mm. I know. You’re so smart.”

“Quit it!”

Yu just hummed knowingly in response.

“It’s honestly so freakin’ sweet I could throw up,” Kanji said what they were all thinking. “What did Nanako-chan and Dojima-san say?”

“They were both very supportive,” Yu finally released his vice grip, but Yosuke did not rise from his lap, answering his earlier question. 

“That’s good to hear, even if I doubt the result would’ve been any different,” Naoto nodded. “As for your future plans, I do hope you’re able to attend university together.”

“What about right now?” Rise asked. “Anyone hungry? Not here, though, sorry Yo-chan.”

“Yeah, I got it,” Yosuke reluctantly stood up. “Look, I know it’s not gourmet, but seriously…”

“I know, Yosuke,” Yukiko consoled her friend, “but this is, at the end of the day, just a store. And right now, we should get something for Yu that he can’t get anywhere else.”

“Oh, are you offering a traditional meal at your inn, Yuki-chan?” Teddie invited himself over predictably.

“That’s not… Actually, it’s not a terrible idea. It might take some time to prepare, but if no one’s immediately hungry we could stop in the bath before we eat.”

After the words left Yukiko’s mouth, the group all silently eyed each other. 

“Hm, perhaps… not.”

Despite himself, Yosuke was the first to laugh. Yu joined in quickly after, followed one by one by the rest of them. It was honestly so freeing, thought Yosuke, being a part of this. Being a part of this team, being each of these people’s friends. It was freeing to realize there was no reason to worry about these people, who’d now seen his darkest self, turning their backs on him, to know that he would never lose the memories and the sentiments they all shared.

He was relieved, too, to feel the weight of his partner’s hand in his and not feel that ache he’d held for so long at the thought of it… of love, of the crushing weight of fear that he could never be allowed this feeling of pure joy. 

There was still work to be done, but those insecurities and doubts no longer felt like a burden. He was almost comforted that it was there, gazing at the darkness that his form cast on the ground. He looked up again, at each of his friends, and finally at his partner, who met his stare with a mirroring expression. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Yosuke said to them all, to himself.

Naoto put a hand on one hip, closing their eyes with a smile. Kanji let out a loud ‘heh!’ like the statement was obvious. Yukiko nodded, her hand lifting to her face to cover a giggle. Rise folded her hands behind her back, tilting her head and grinning. Teddie spun around quickly then jumped with a cheer. Chie elbowed Yosuke’s side lightly, probably at the weird seriousness of his tone. Yu squeezed Yosuke’s hand just once, pressing close to his side. Yosuke leaned in too, squeezing his hand back.