Chapter Text
'Pen, you are in your regular room, everything has been set up. Eddie will be in the room next to you if you can show her?' Eloise directed.
They had just arrived at Aubrey Hall for a long weekend. A quick girls trip that all three of them had agreed they desperately needed. Eloise had offered up Aubrey Hall as the location, it was easy, and the place was free for the weekend. Penelope and Edwina had quickly agreed to the idea.
Being here though, and stepping into the empty estate for Penelope felt a little strange. Being at the large estate without the entire Bridgerton clan in tow and then some was weird. She actually had never been here with so few people around. The place felt significantly larger than it already was. Everything had an empty echo to it.
Despite herself (and she hated thinking this at all), it felt especially strange to be here without-
'Featherington,'
Nevermind.
Penelope whipped her head around at the familiar voice. Something about the low grating tone never failed to send a shiver down her spine. Coming from the direction of the kitchen, carrying a large plate of sugary sweets was none other than Colin Bridgerton.
It had been around six months since she’d last seen him. For most of that time he’d been gallivanting around south east Asia. As always, she’d managed to morph and twist the image she had of him in her mind. She’d become quite good at assuring herself he wasn’t achingly attractive, and that his looks matched his sour attitude. But once again, she was rendered stunned at the sight of him.
The white Henley he wore hugged his arms and chest in a way that was utterly unfair, his pants hugged his waist making his legs look even longer. She could see the lines of every hard muscle, and wayward curls fell into his eyes, like he hadn't actually done his hair in it's usual coiffed back style. He was displaying a frustratingly handsome look of casual and carefree and she despised how he looked so good so effortlessly.
'Colin.' She did her best to keep her tone calm and neutral. He didn't have an effect on her. Not anymore. The Penelope that was easily flustered by him was left behind in the past. The only thing she was allowed to feel for him now was mild irritation. 'I didn't know you would be here.'
'Neither did I.' Eloise came waltzing in, her backpack for the weekend slung over one shoulder. 'Why are you here?'
Colin took a bite of a brownie. 'Am I not allowed to be?' he asked. ‘This is my home too.’
Eloise narrowed his eyes at him. 'I told everyone we would be here this weekend and specifically said we wanted a girls only trip. No one else around.'
Colin shrugged. 'I must have missed that.'
Penelope rolled her eyes, it didn’t go past her he didn’t apologise. 'Forever proving my point that your literacy skills are non-existent,' she said. 'It doesn't matter El, I'm sure we can manage to avoid him easily enough.'
Colin let out a chuckle before ascending up the stairs with his plate in hand. Penelope scowled in his direction until he was out of site.
‘Sorry,’ Eloise said. ‘I told everyone we were here and we wanted a girls getaway. He’s being an ass.’
‘It’s fine,’ Penelope sighed. ‘There’s not much we can do now. I’ll go settle in and Eddie and I will meet you in the kitchen.’
Penelope hitched her duffle bag higher up on her shoulder and headed up the stairs, Edwina quickly following.
‘Ok, but seriously, what is with these Bridgerton brothers?’ She asked.
‘What do you mean?’ Penelope asked as she walked down the hall counting the doors until she found the room Edwina would be in and pushed the door open.
‘Like do they come out of the womb broody and attractive, or is it something they learn?’
Penelope couldn’t help the way her mind flashed back to her teenage years. Her and Colin spending hours in the garden talking and laughing with each other. Seeking one another out at stuffy events they were all constantly dragged to when they were young. They always made each other laugh. No… Colin hadn’t always been… broody.
Instead she shrugged. ‘I couldn’t tell you.’
‘It’s not fair how hot the Bridgerton’s are.’
‘Er, hello, you and Kate are gorgeous and there is a reason the only thing people questioned about you and Anthony was the age difference.’
Edwina flushed.
‘Sorry,’ Penelope said quickly. ‘I forgot myself for a moment.’
It remained a bit of a sore spot for Edwina. The entire thing was a debacle and one Edwina wanted left firmly in the past. Penelope couldn’t blame her for that. It had become an unspoken rule to not discuss it around her unless she brought it up.
‘Um, anyway, this will be your room. I’m just the next door down the hall so if you need anything just sing out,’ Penelope said. For a moment if occurred to her just how fortunate she was to know this place the way she did. It did at times, feel like another home. ‘There should be everything you need here but Eloise can help if you’re missing something, or if it’s too cold and you need more blankets or… whatever really.’
Edwina nodded. ‘Thanks Pen.’
‘No problems. I’m going to go get myself settled in too.’
Penelope took a step to leave.
‘Pen-‘ Edwina said.
‘Yeah?’
‘Is it ok if I ask…’ she hesitated for a moment. Penelope nodded, she couldn’t think of anything Edwina could ask that would offend her. ‘Why do you dislike Colin so much? He doesn’t seem all bad?’
‘Oh,’ Penelope felt her face heat up at the question. ‘I, um, I used to think he was the nicest boy,’ she smiled softly. ‘But it turned out he wasn’t quite who I thought he was.’
It was a heartbreak she wasn’t sure she would ever fully recover from.
It had been seven years ago, not that she was counting, at Daphne’s twenty first birthday. Right here at Aubrey Hall.
How much it had hurt to go from Colin rescuing her from cruel things her sisters were saying about her. Declaring to her that she was ‘very special’ to him. Only to overhear him, three hours later, declaring loudly to his friends that he would never date her. Laughing at the thought of it. It was absurd to him.
She’d never truly believed she ever had a chance of dating Colin Bridgerton. Not deep down. But it hurt that he found the idea truly laughable. That the thought was a joke. That he had it in him to laugh at her behind her back.
She hadn’t been able to help herself from writing scathing words about him in her anonymous blog, Whistledown.
She hadn’t meant to leave the burner phone she used for it in the Aubrey Hall library.
She hadn’t meant for him to find it.
‘It was you?’ Colin’s voice was short and full of a venom she’d never heard from him before.
‘Colin I-‘
‘Pen, tell me it isn’t?’ He was virtually begging. She half expected him to drop to his knees to plead with her.
‘I’m sorry.’ Tears fell from her eyes. She couldn’t stop them. She was still hurt by him. But the post had been made in anger. She regretted it. Wished she could take it back.
She watched as Colin’s face seemed to harden to steel. Eyes narrowed, jaw set, his mouth was tight. It sent a shiver up her spine to have him look at her this way.
‘I will never forgive you.’
‘Colin-‘
He stormed past her, shoulder knocking against hers without apology as he did.
‘What you did to Marina? To Daphne? What you wrote about El?’ His voice cracked with emotion. ‘You are not the person I thought you were.’
And neither was he the person she thought he was. She thought bitterly. What a pair they truly made. Both of them deceiving each other with kind words and gestures for so long. They’d created something so fragile it had managed to crumble down in the space of one torrid evening.
She stood rooted to the spot long after Colin left. Heart shattered into pieces in a way she knew there was no recovery from.
And there hadn’t been. Their friendship never repaired. Over time, instead of seeking one another out for companionship and a friendly face, they almost seemed to seek each other out, to goad one another into harsh words and scathing looks. Penelope couldn’t deny the way it got her heart racing. Now out of sheer frustration and adrenaline over arguing with him.
Sometimes, often late on nights she couldn’t sleep, or after indulging in a few too many white wines, she missed him. She missed the Colin she grew up with. The boy she could laugh and joke with. The Colin who made her feel at ease, like she could say or do anything and he would still be there for her. She missed his bright, kind eyes. His penchant for heroism and saving the day. The deep unwavering love he had for those around him.
She often longed to have that Colin back in her life.
If he’d ever truly existed.
The only Colin she knew now was one who mocked her. Who insulted her. Who looked for every opportunity to argue with her until she was flush red in the face.
‘I’m sorry,’ Edwina said, breaking Penelope from her thoughts. ‘I know all too well what it’s like to find out someone isn’t quite the person you thought they were.’
Penelope offered a soft smile. ‘I know. You are a far more forgiving person than I have been able to be though,’ she said sincerely. ‘Every time I find myself hoping to a call a truce he… well, anyway. It doesn’t matter. I will endeavour to keep the peace if he does stick around this weekend.’
Edwina nodded and Penelope retreated to her own room to sort herself out, change and head back downstairs.
——
‘So, Pen- we didn’t get to finish talking about how things with you and Debbers are going?’ Eloise said
They had settled in the living room. A giant platter of cheese and cured meats sat in front of them and between the three of them they had already polished off one bottle of wine. Edwina was opening and pouring the second.
Penelope flushed. She had been dating Alfie Debling for around three months now. She enjoyed his company, he was a kind, gentle guy, a couple of years older than her. She had never expected someone like him to be interested in her, but it seemed to be genuine.
‘Good,’ she said.
Edwina rolled her eyes. ‘Please, Pen. Give us detail. I’ve never been more single in my life right now. I need your stories to live through.’
‘Exactly,’ Eloise agreed. ‘How’s the sex?’
Penelope was sure her face was now matching her hair. ‘Oh my god, guys.’
‘Pen,’ Eloise said, her tone serious. ‘You have slept with him, haven’t you?’
‘Yes! Yes, I have,’ she said quickly. Still flushing.
‘So? How is it?’ Edwina pushed.
‘He looks like he knows his way around lady bits,’ Eloise giggled.
Penelope bit her lip, face still flushed red. If she was honest? Alfie did know what he was doing. But while she got close, many times, she’d never quite been… pushed off the ledge so to speak. No one she’d ever slept with had managed to get her there. She suspected the problem was her.
‘It’s good,’ she said. It wasn’t a lie. She enjoyed herself with him.
‘How good?’ Edwina asked.
‘I don’t know! Good, good.’ Penelope said. ‘What do you want me to tell you?’
Edwina rolled her eyes. ‘Is he big? Could he find your clit right away or did you have to show him around? Does he make you come? Is he into anything kinky?’
Penelope took a deep breath. ‘Oh my god. You guys are relentless. I haven’t had enough wine for this.’
‘You’re the only one getting some right now. We need to know,’ Eloise said, she picked up the bottle of wine and topped Penelope up.
‘Ok, ok fine,’ Penelope couldn’t look them in the eyes. ‘He’s… average size, but it’s nice you know? He was already well acquainted with the location of everything. Yes,’ she took a deep breath as she lied. ‘He makes me come. And… so far nothing kinky. Just regular sex.’
‘Oh. That’s a little boring,’ Edwina huffed.
‘Why?’ Penelope asked.
‘I just thought, I don’t know.’
‘No, tell me.’ Penelope pushed.
‘Didn’t you say once you liked the idea of being dominated?’
‘Edwina!’ Penelope squealed. ‘That is not what I said.’
‘Wait, what?’ Eloise asked, her eyes wide. ‘What do you mean?’
‘She doesn’t mean anything,’ Penelope rushed out.
‘Pen said once that she-‘
‘One, I was drunk,’ Penelope cut in. ‘Two, I know for sure I didn’t use the word dominated.’
Edwina raised her eyebrows.
Penelope let out a huff. ‘I just said I like it sometimes when the guy takes control, tells me what to do.’
There was a bang and a clatter from the hallway. All three girls turned their head to the direction of the living room entrance. Eloise was the one who got up.
Penelope couldn’t see what was happening but Eloise started shouting.
‘Colin!’
The red flush reappeared all too suddenly to Penelope’s face. There was no way Colin wasn’t bringing this up in their next, inevitable, spat.
‘You absolute perv listening in on us. Go away!’
‘I wasn’t, I just-‘
‘There are acres of garden and a whole other wing to this house. Go literally anywhere else. Now!’
Edwina turned to Penelope. ‘How much do you think he heard?’
‘Enough that he’ll probably remind me of what I just said at the worst possible moment.’
‘Sorry about him,’ Eloise said as she finally came back into the room. ‘He’s being a real dick lately.’
‘He’s always a dick,’ Penelope countered. It didn’t matter that he was Eloise’s brother, Eloise never once tried to excuse any of Colin’s actions towards her. Something Penelope had always appreciated.
‘More so since he and whatsherface broke up.’
‘He broke up with Meredith?’ Penelope asked. She ignored the smirk on Edwina’s face.
Eloise shrugged. ‘Yeah. He’s been in a right mood ever since.’
‘I can relate,’ Edwina asked. ‘It’s easy to be on edge all the time when you’re not getting any.’
‘Doesn’t give him the right to be perving on our conversation,’ Eloise countered.
‘True,’ Edwina agreed.
‘I sort of wish I’d known he was there. We could have started talking about my sex life. That would have really scarred him,’ Eloise giggled.
Penelope frowned. ‘I though I was being interrogated because neither of you currently had a sex life.’
Eloise raised her eyebrows. ‘Colin doesn’t know that.’
— —
The night had come to a natural close when Eloise fell asleep in the living room. Edwina had drawn the short straw and had to wake her up to usher her to bed while Penelope cleaned up the mess they’d made.
Hours later and Penelope couldn’t sleep. She had been tossing and turning all night and finally had enough. Maybe a warm drink or a snack would help her.
She crept out of her room, tiptoed down the hall, trying to miss any creaking floorboards and accidentally wake anyone else up. Once safely in the kitchen she turned one singular light on. Just enough to be able to see.
She busied herself making a hot chocolate with ingredients she found in the fridge and pantry. She was grateful the Bridgerton’s kept the place well stocked.
‘What are you doing?’
She nearly jumped out of her skin in surprise. She spun around and found herself face to face with Colin Bridgerton.
A shirtless, sleepy, Colin, wearing navy track pants, dangerously low on his hips. She averted her gaze immediately. She was too sleepy, possibly still a little buzzed to be dealing with a shirtless Colin right now. The thoughts that ran through her mind at the sight were far too dangerous for her current state of mind.
‘I couldn’t sleep,’ she said.
‘Neither.’
She nodded.
‘Any chance you’re making extra?’ He asked, eyes flickering to the pot of warming milk on the stove.
‘Sure,’ she muttered.
She turned back around to the stove, grateful to no longer be facing him and his chest, and grabbed more stuff and added additional milk and chocolate to the pan so there was enough for both of them.
‘Thanks,’ he said softly. His tone the kindest she had heard from him in literal years. It caught her off guard.
She didn’t respond, instead stayed focused on her task of making hot chocolate for them both.
‘I, uh, didn’t know you were dating Debling,’ Colin said.
‘It’s still fairly new,’ she admitted. It had only been a few months. Admittedly a fairly long relationship for her, but for someone like Colin, who found dates and girlfriends easily, it was in new relationship territory.
‘Right.’
They fell back into silence for a moment.
‘You know he plans to do a twelve month stint in Antarctica soon?’ Colin asked.
Penelope spun back around to face him. ‘You think I’m dating the guy and wouldn’t be aware of that?’ She asked.
Colin shrugged. ‘I’m just saying. He’ll be gone. Living in a tiny cabin. Up close and personal with other, like-minded researchers.’
Penelope swallowed. She was aware. Very aware. She liked to avoid thinking about it. She didn’t need Colin of all people pointing out to her that in a matter of months her boyfriend would be somewhere very remote, with people, women, who were just as passionate about Antarctic creatures as he was.
‘I trust him,’ she said,
‘You barely know him,’ Colin huffed.
‘I know him well enough.’
‘So you’re going to have a long distance relationship with him?’
‘Why are you so desperate to know?’ She bristled.
‘Would it even be worth it?’ He continued.
Penelope took in a deep breath as Colin stepped in towards her. She could smell his aftershave and deodorant now. She hated that he had to smell so stupidly good. It clouded her ability to think straight and every ounce of her self control was focused on not staring at his shirtless form and keeping her eyes firmly on his.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Staying with him,’ Colin responded. ‘While he is literally on the other side of the world. Surrounded by people who share passions with him. Waiting for a year him to come home when he can’t even satisfy you in bed. A whole year celibate and waiting only for… disappointment at the end of it because after all that time he’s still not going to be able to make you come.’
She couldn’t hide her gasp. How had he known?
The smirk he gave her was enough to tell her he’d taken a bit of a guess and she’d just given away that he was right.
‘Colin, please don’t-‘
‘No really, Penelope. Is he worth it? Worth the wait?’
‘I don’t see how it’s your business,’ she really needed to turn back around and focus on the hot chocolate. The milk would start to curdle if she didn’t.
‘Penelope,’ Colin’s hand came up to her shoulder, hovering a moment before he lowered it again.
‘What?’ She asked, her tone now irritated.
‘You don’t deserve someone like him.’
Oh… oh. Of course. Tears pricked at her eyes once more. Of course. How could she have for even a moment forgotten how cruel Colin could be to her?
‘No?’ She asked. ‘What, is he too smart for me? Too attractive? Too… cool?’
Colin started shaking his head. ‘No, no that’s not what I meant and you know it.’
‘No I don’t. What did you mean?’
‘You can do better,’ he said in a low voice. ‘So much better.’
‘Better how?’
‘Well, for one you deserve someone who can satisfy you in bed.’
Penelope raised her eyebrows. ‘Like it’s so easy? Some women just struggle with it, ok? It’s not his fault.’
Colin chuckled. ‘Please. I could have you screaming my name in minutes.’
‘Prove it then.’
Nope. She hadn’t meant to say that part out loud. Not at all. She flushed.
Colin’s eyes darkened as they swept over her body and her pussy clenched in response to his heated gaze.
Fuck.
‘Since you asked,’ he said, his voice low.
Penelope took in a deep, shuddering breath as Colin’s hand settled on her hip. He gripped her tightly. His hand the started moving, down to her thigh, then inward. She parted her legs to make space for his hand and he smirked.
He cupped her, over her leggings and she gasped.
‘Already so responsive for me,’ he murmured.
One of his fingers teased her slit, over her leggings and she could feel how instantly wet she already was from his touch. She would have been embarrassed, but with the heated way he was looking at her, the way his long fingers teased her, how could she be anything other than soaking wet for him?
She was fucked.
He removed his hand and she whimpered. Whimpered at the loss of his touch. He let out a low chuckle at her response as he brought his hand up to the waistband of her leggings.
He teased her flushed skin underneath as his eyes implored hers for permission to keep going. She nodded. She couldn’t have him stopping now, leaving her on edge and turned on. All of this went against her better judgement, but she couldn’t help herself now. What was a moment of caving? Giving in to desires she kept buried deep down for far too long?
As soon as he had that last bit of permission from her, his hand all but dove in to her leggings.
‘No underwear?’ He asked as his hand found bare skin to touch.
She shook her head.
His fingers found her slit once more. This time there was no fabric between them and she gasped as he slide two fingers through her soaking cunt.
‘Fuck,’ he let out.
‘Please,’ she said.
‘Since you asked so nicely.’
He found her clit, with ease, and rubbed circles around it. Penelope let out a gasp at the way electric shot through her body. Desire ran hot through her body. Colin smirked. His eyes were on her face, watching her. Under any other circumstance she might feel self conscious, too aware of her expressions, but something about the way Colin crowded in on her, held her steady with the hand not currently working its magic on her clit had her feeling safe enough to let go.
His fingers slide down, through her slit and then teased her entrance. She ground her hips into his hand shamelessly. Needing more.
One of his fingers slowly pushed into her.
‘Fuck!’ Her exclaim was louder than she’d meant it to be. Her pussy pulsed around the single digit. She nearly came undone just from that alone.
She met Colin’s eyes and he was staring at her in a look she could only describe as awe and wonder. Eyes locked on each other he started to move his finger, massaging her inner walls, sliding it in and out, fucking her.
With no warning a second finger joined the first and her head rolled back as she sighed. How, with just two fingers did he have her feeling so full? So on fire? Nothing before had ever felt this way.
‘Colin,’ she sighed.
‘Fuck, Pen,’ he murmured.
The hand on her hip gripped her tighter still as he worked his fingers in and out of her. Crooking them just so and he hit spots deep within her, finding parts of her she didn’t even know about.
Colin move forward and placed a kiss on her jaw. It was electric and she let out another moan. His lips trailed down to her neck, and he sucked on her pulse point. It was almost more than she could take.
His thumb joined the mix. He found her clit once more and rubbed circles around it.
It was too much. She was a panting, moaning mess and knew she was only moments away from shattering entirely.
Beep beep beep beep
The ear piercing alarm of the smoke detector broke through their lusty haze.
Penelope’s back straightened. Colin’s head shot up from where he’d been sucking on her neck his fingers, still buried deep inside her stilled.
‘Shit!’ Pen exclaimed.
Colin pulled his hand out of her leggings and she spun back around to the stove where what once had been hot chocolate was now a smoking pot of… well, not much.
Colin sprung to action and managed to quickly find a broom to use to turn the alarm off while Pen took the burnt chocolate mess off the heat and turned the exhaust fan off in an attempt to not reset the alarm.
The alarm stopped.
The smoke started disappearing.
All that was left was the two of them breathing heavily. Avoiding looking at each other.
What the fuck had just happened?
‘Is everything ok?’
Penelope spun around, in the corner of her eye she was all too aware of Colin doing the same. In the doorway of the kitchen stood a sleepy Eloise, yawning.
‘Everything is fine El,’ Colin assured her. ‘We accidentally set off the alarm. Go back to bed.’
‘What are,’ she yawned. ‘What are you two doing?’
‘Featherington was attempting to make hot chocolate,’ he answered her. ‘Clearly unsuccessfully.’
Penelope’s heart deflated. She was back to being Featherington? So soon? He'd just had his fingers buried deep inside her. Had nearly made her come, and already was back to calling her Featherington?
‘It’s the middle of the night.’ Eloise pointed out.
‘Which is why you should go back to bed,’ Colin pointed out.
Eloise frowned. Her eyes flitting between the two of them.
‘Pen?’
‘It’s fine El. I’ll clean up. Get back to bed,’ she said. She was too aware of Colin’s eyes on her.
‘Ok,’ Eloise yawned again. ‘Don’t stay up too late.’
Penelope nodded.
Eloise turned to Colin. ‘Don’t hurt her,’ she said, and Penelope flushed.
‘I won’t,’ Colin’s tone was unusually gentle. Penelope tried to ignore the way it made her stomach flutter.
Eloise nodded and retreated quickly.
There was a long silence between both of them.
‘I should, uh, leave,’ Colin said.
Penelope nodded quickly. ‘Yes. Yeah, that would be uh… you should go.’
‘Good night.’
Penelope watched him leave the kitchen. It wasn’t until he was long gone she registered that she had meant to say ‘good night’ back to him, but the words never left her mouth. She sighed and turned back to the pot on the stove, getting to work with cleaning it up.
One thing was evidently clear.
More than ever she needed to keep clear of Colin Bridgerton.