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Alastor had always been more of a fighter than a lover .
What he adored , he devoured , what he held close to him was subsequently torn to shreds . Alastor was not one to be delicate about things , and he never would be . He relished the feeling of cracking , ripping , tearing , anything that involved him digging his claws in deep , urging himself to hurt , to cause pain and incite screams . Alastor would never spare affection , nor physical contact , after all , why bother oneself with such trivial matters ? Matters of pleasing others were irrelevant , the idea in and of itself absurd to him . Alastor waved any care he could muster up away without so much as a second thought .
If Alastor didn’t need to , then he wouldn’t , as a general rule of thumb , so he simply did not do most things . And that had been working out just fine until Vox came into the picture .
Not just Vox , his Vox . Alastor’s and Alastor’s alone — that was important . When his silly picture box had waltzed down into Hell so cluelessly , building a name for himself with a genuine smile , not the ever - present , straining grin that Alastor maintained , he couldn’t help but be captivated by the sheer spirit of the man .
Naturally , Alastor wanted to break it , as all things . To crush that television between vermillion claws and watch that very same color trickle between his fingers .
Vox knew Alastor as nothing but gentle . He knew Alastor wasn’t a huge fan of being touched — that was okay ! Vox found it difficult to keep his hands to himself a lot of the time , considering how much he enjoyed sharing affections through actions , but he learned quickly to respect that due to the panic on Alastor’s face when he’d put an unexpected hand on his shoulder . Usually , Alastor would be fine with Vox touching him if he asked first — however , it was always good to ask , especially since Vox didn’t want to risk seeing Alastor be upset with him again . Many things upset Alastor , and Vox didn’t want to be one of them .
All Vox had ever wanted was to cause joy , to spark something in Alastor . He’d always used his shiny grin as a means to an end , to charm or convince the people . After all , Vox’s expression came from joy , not just mandate , unlike Alastor .
There were very few things Vox wouldn’t do to see the corners of Alastor’s grin soften with that little sigh he always let out . So delicate , so .. sweet . Alastor was so sweet when he wanted to be , despite the absolute monstrosity he was more of the time . Vox supposed those two things could coexist .
And Vox had realized a long time ago , even if Alastor didn’t love him , he still brought Alastor some form of joy .
It was oh - so hard to believe that Alastor didn’t love him now , here , though , despite every other sign pointing to such . Vox gasped , emitting a fluttering cry from his speakers as Alastor rammed into him , as if his life depended on it . He held Vox’s hips down , pressing him further into the pillows — although , not without too much strength , which didn’t go unnoticed to Vox . He silently thanked the sinner above him , holding his world over him and still ensuring not to damage him in the process .
Vox rocked his hips back needily , desperate to take as much of Alastor’s length as he could . He picked up the downright filthy sound Alastor made at that , priding himself at being able to please Al like that . Vox felt so good , so wanted , so fucking perfect like this — it was like nothing could ever go wrong again . On the next thrust , Alastor punctuated his movement with a huff , hands moving to grip tight to Vox’s ass , squeezing it . Vox giggled . He wanted so badly to turn around , to look Alastor in the eyes while he was fucked , but the position Alastor held him in simply wouldn’t allow it .
“ L — Look at you . You feel so perfect on top of me . ♡ “ Vox managed out , honeyed words of praise spilling from him easily , too easily . It was almost second - nature the way he cared for Alastor , even in words , even now .
The deer let out another soft sound , his movements slowing and speeding up clumsily . Alastor had never been a particularly methodical lover , simply following what his body desired . What his body desired was to buck deep into Vox’s warmth beneath him , and stay there for as long as that curling in the bottom of his stomach remained there , and not a second more .
Vox felt fucking grateful Alastor chose to fuck him in the first place — as far as he was aware , Alastor didn’t do this , not often at least . He’d always just given off the vibes of inexperience to Vox — and that was fine by him . Vox outright delighted in the way Alastor practically came apart by simple reassurances , how genuinely happy he looked when he fucked Vox . It was , in fact , the happiest Vox had ever personally seen him . He locked that thought away into his brain to mull over later while daydreaming about Alastor .
Alastor leaned in , pressing his lips to Vox’s back , kissing there gently . Shock coursed through his body — Vox tilted his head back , his lips parting with a soft ‘ oh ‘ sound . Alastor had never been a lover — not to Vox , not to anyone . He didn’t kiss — but here he was , and Alastor planted another and another messy , open - mouthed kiss to Vox’s back , his sloppy movement speeding back up as he did .
And right then and there , Vox had never felt as loved as he had right then . Contrary to popular belief , Alastor had never had any interest in sexual deviance . He liked his experiences plain and simple , the sheer idea of sex overstimulating on its own . He liked fucking Vox , he didn’t like Vox fucking him , and that was that , Alastor only did what he liked . As much of a sadistic fuck as he was , Alastor preferred to keep that out of the bedroom . Almost as if he was entirely different here , every kiss he pressed to Vox laced with as much love as Vox knew he’d ever get from the man .
Vox drank it in , making it worthwhile for Alastor with exaggerated panting and rocking his hips back , his neglected dick twitching against his stomach . He didn’t usually bother too much pleasuring himself until Alastor had got off — Alastor himself paying him mind was better than the best orgasm anyone could give him . Even better , Alastor being happy with him . Alastor rocking into him with care .
Alastor pulling out , Alastor putting Vox onto his back , Alastor slamming back in and pressing his lips to Vox’s screen .
Vox felt his vision go blank as he let out the most meaningful sound he’d ever made — a simple moan , but it echoed through Alastor’s skull — and came on his stomach , fully untouched . Guilt prodded at his sides for coming before Alastor — but he shoved it away . Internally , Vox knew Alastor didn’t actually care too much about it — edging , control , whatever , it didn’t matter to Alastor sexually . He was more focused on getting off and finishing up than anything .
Or , at least , that was what Vox thought before Alastor captured his lips in the gentlest kiss yet , rocking into him one , two , three times before releasing deep inside of Vox , trembling as he always did when he came , but it felt different . Immediately snapping back into control , Vox ran his fingers through Alastor’s hair , their hips pressed flush , and pulled away from the kiss . “ You did so good , sweetheart , so fucking amazing . “ Vox looked up at Alastor with a loving smile — Alastor looked back with an unreadable expression .
It certainly wasn’t bad — Alastor pulled out and collapsed back on the bed , catching his breath without saying a word . Vox hummed , rolling over to him and laying on his chest , lighting a cigarette and blowing the smoke out into the air . Alastor groaned , grabbing it from him and taking a drag of his own .
“ You’re always so lovey - dovey when we fuck . “ Vox whispered , the room almost too quiet for Vox’s too - loud feelings . “ You get all happy , it’s like you’re in a whole different place . “
“ .. Quiet . “ Alastor mumbled in return , taking another inhale of the stolen cigarette . “ It is over , no need to speak about it further . “ He wasn’t harsh about it , simply .. reflective . As if prompting Vox to ask more .
“ Aw , c’mon Al — “ Unsure what to say , Vox paused before sighing and snatching the cigarette back . “ .. Well , at least I made you happy , eh ? “
Alastor grunted , his eye twitching . He flicked Vox’s antenna , making him squeak in irritation . “ Why must you always focus your whole self - worth on what others think of you , Vox ? It gets you nowhere . “
Vox paused . His cheeky smile faded . He went silent , knowing damn well Alastor was right .
Vox was not happy — he was not well , he was not even close to okay . Alastor brought him ever closer to salvation if even by a little bit , that little bit being the sweetest thing Vox would ever experience , or at least that was how it seemed . He’d always come back for a hit of attention .
” I just want you to like me , I guess . “ Vox let the words spill forth , a display of honesty that sent a shiver down his spine . Perhaps he was just sex - drunk , or maybe tired . He knew he’d regret it in the morning — but the words didn’t stop . “ I want you to love me . To care . To be gentle to me . I want to make you happy . And — And I think that making you cum makes you happy . That’s what I think . It’s what I’ve noticed . “
Vox felt the way Alastor’s arm around him loosened at that .
Alastor just didn’t know what to fucking do . Vox’s words surrounded him from all sides , caging him in in a box of “ make him feel good enough “ . Not quite sure how to do that , Alastor shifted further away from Vox — he could practically hear the sound of a heart breaking , but he just didn’t fucking know . Alastor never fucking knew what to do , not with Vox , not with anyone .
“ Hey — “ And just as he’d expected , Vox piped up anxiously , his claws petting Alastor’s shoulder gently . “ You okay , Al .. ? “
“ I wasn’t going to do this . “ Alastor mumbled , almost guiltily . “ This wasn’t the plan . “
He’d been there to start a fight with Alastor . He’d pounced , well expecting Alastor to fight back . It had become nearly a weekly thing — they fought on Wednesdays , fucked on Thursdays , and fully ignored each other on Fridays , then let the cycle repeat next week .
Alastor had clawed at the sleeve of Vox’s suit , clawing the arm open fully . He hadn’t meant to catch a glimpse of the red underneath — but when he did , Alastor caught Vox’s eyes for a moment . He knew . They both knew . Alastor ceased his fighting back , carefully rolling up Vox’s sleeve to examine his wrist , holding it in nearly a bruising grip as he observed the deep carvings into Vox’s arms .
He knew . Self - inflicted injuries . Alastor , quite frankly , had not anticipated this . He wasn’t sure what to say .
” You’re pathetic . “ He managed out . “ What kind of sad , sick idiot cuts himself ? “
And to Alastor’s surprised , Vox had laughed it off , making him guilty . He said something that made Alastor’s head spin and brushed it away. Alastor shook his head . “ No , no , Vox ! What makes you do this ? “
Another half - assed answer . Alastor raised his voice , grabbing Vox by both arms ,
but Vox had still seemed so unaffected . He laughed again , patting Alastor on the nose .
“ Why , you miserable fool ?! Why cut yourself ? It won’t help , not a single soul will notice or care for you more — “
” That’s why . “ Came Vox’s soft , gentle , unaffected answer . “ No one will notice . “
And fuck , if that didn’t make Alastor’s heart ache . His grip on Vox faded into gentle touch — and he mentally ran through every time he’d called Vox pathetic , miserable , worthless , his stomach sinking . It was far too much to apologize for , and for once , Alastor was rendered speechless . He set a gentle hand on Vox’s arm , stroking over the area .
This had to have been his fault .
” I’m sorry , Vox . “ Alastor couldn’t remember the last time he’d apologized . His heart felt fucking alive again , like it would beat out of his chest at any moment .
Vox .. giggled . It was unsettling how nonchalantly he was taking this — he pushed Alastor’s hands away from him and crawled into Alastor’s lap , setting a hand on his chest and grinning at him . “ Aw , don’t be upset , Al . I’ll make you happy again . “ Vox straddled his lap , rolling his hips down .
Alastor was a weak , weak man — his brain clouded up , all his thoughts drifting away ..
.. Fuck .
He wasn’t supposed to give in like that .
“ Aw , but we had fun anyways , didn’t we , Al ? “ Vox smiled that dazzling smile up at Alastor , practically dripping with the need for approval .
Alastor removed the cigarette from Vox’s mouth , tossing it out the window , off the balcony , into the night . “ .. You , my dear , make me very happy . “