Chapter Text
The first time it happened, it was pretty innocuous honestly. Ava had been living with Bea for about 5 months in their one bedroom apartment, and yes, you heard that correctly, it was indeed one bedroom. Apparently, there had been some kind of miscommunication with their rental applications resulting in both of them living in the same apartment, completely unaware of this predicament until they both attempted to move in, at the exact same time.
It had been awkward and a bit frustrating, Ava won’t lie. Neither of them wanted to give the place up because not only was it incredibly affordable but it was also located only a couple of miles from their college campus. She had been given the option to remain in the dorms –as had Beatrice– but when the listing popped up one day while she was looking for a place, sick of communal bathrooms and sharing a room with someone who was up all hours of the night, typing away on their laptop, she decided to schedule an appointment to see the place.
She had been taken with the place instantly. There was something about it that just felt like home. So of course she applied for the apartment and the whole living alone deal was another major selling point for her. This would be her place with her own bathroom and bedroom and kitchen— just hers.
It didn’t quite work out that way though. When she met Beatrice as she was moving in, they were both pretty confused. To put it lightly. Not to mention, moving was stressful and frustrating in nature so yes, yes maybe they argued a bit too. Neither of them wanted to give the place up and all of their shit was already there so they just… moved in together.
Beatrice had offered to take the couch that night leaving Ava with the bed until they could figure out a more permanent solution. There wasn’t another bedroom nor was there space for an extra bed anywhere. It was a small place but Ava had liked the cozyness of it.
When they had called the landlord to try and get some answers the dude wasn’t much help at all and merely told them to, ‘work it out amongst themselves’ like they were two children fighting over who got to use the PlayStation first.
But after having the opportunity to get to know the girl for the first couple of days, Ava realized, she didn’t mind sharing the apartment with Beatrice. In fact, the more she thought about it, the place would be too quiet and lonely without her presence. Beatrice wasn’t as vocal about her feelings but she dropped her arguments about one of them moving out at around the day 4 mark.
From there they just— forgot about it? They didn’t discuss it and neither of them looked for places to move into. They simply split the rent (which made it super affordable so you wouldn’t hear Ava complaining) and everything else right down the middle. It was an even 50/50 partnership through and through.
For a while there, they had stuck with alternating who slept on the bed versus couch but after a week's worth of pinched nerves and stiff necks, Ava had convinced Bea that they could share the bed. That they were two mature enough adults who seemed to be becoming fast friends so what was the harm? They could just stay on their own side and it would be easy, peasy, lemon squeezy.
There was one tiny detail she had overlooked though, the bed truly wasn’t made for two humans to sleep in it. It was small, and luckily her and Bea were small humans, but it was a challenge and a half to go the entire night trying to sleep on the edge of the bed to give each other space.
Ava wasn’t exactly the most graceful person in the world either so this led to her falling off the bed and hitting the ground rather hard in the middle of the night. Sometimes when she was perfectly asleep no less. She had had dreams in the past where she was falling but never had that dream become a reality the moment her eyes shot open.
So, Ava proposed a new plan. As any intelligent person would.
Rather than strictly keeping to their sides of the bed in order to avoid touching each other at all costs, they could both lay more towards the center and if they touched in the middle of the night? Who the hell cares. If Ava woke up with her arm thrown over Bea’s waist it was absolutely no one’s business except their own and Beatrice seemed more than happy in agreeing to these new terms and conditions.
They wouldn’t worry about it and accidental cuddling/touching was simply another part of them living together as roommates. Just like how they had a running grocery list on the counter so that they could write down what they needed before forgetting. It was just normal roommates behavior, not a big deal.
Super casual.
And it honestly was. Ava was a naturally touchy person and although Bea didn’t really give off that vibe at first, she quickly softened and initiated touches just as much as Ava did. It was simply part of their growing friendship. They cuddled and hugged and held hands and it was completely and totally fine.
Because they were just friends, after all.
But after months of this growing comfortability around each other, things had gotten a bit more… intimate for lack of a better word.
Ava had been in the kitchen making brownies because she could and had accidentally caught the bowl where the batter was in with her elbow, effectively spilling it all over herself.
Not only was her shirt utterly ruined but she had gotten it all over her arms and neck and somehow, her face as well. In other words, she was a hot mess and a simple sink could only do so much for her.
So, like any reasonable person would, she decided to take a shower. The problem was, however, that Beatrice just so happened to be in said shower.
Generally, whenever one of them showered they kept the door cracked open because the ventilation wasn’t the best and the steam would make just about everything wet. So Ava did what she has done a million times before, knocked on the open door twice and entered the bathroom.
This was normal for them. Bea would be showering and Ava would have a random question to ask her and so she would pop in really quickly. Or maybe Ava was bored and/or lonely and chose to sit on the toilet lid while talking to Beatrice as she got clean. It’s not like the shower curtain was seethrough or anything so it really wasn’t that big of a deal if they both were in there at the same time.
No harm, no foul.
“Hey, Bea?” Ava called out as she entered the room.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
In order to not make an even larger mess, Ava carefully took her shirt off and folded it up to prevent any batter from hitting the floor. “So–” She drew the world out. “Slight issue.”
Beatrice popped her head through the shower curtain to be able to look at Ava. Her eyebrows raised as she took in her disheveled appearance. “What on Earth did you do?”
Ava licked some of the batter off of her face. “I was making brownies and I kinda sorta knocked the bowl over and dumped it all over myself.”
Beatrice lifted one manicured eyebrow. “I see that.” She looked her up and down, giving her another quick once over.
“Yeah so anyways, I was wondering how much longer you are going to be in the shower because not to rush you or anything but this stuff is in my hair and I feel like the longer it sits the worse it will be to try and clean.”
“Come here, let me see.” She pulled the curtain back slightly, not revealing anything inappropriate outside of a bit more of her neck and the top of her chest with one of her arms outstretched in an open invitation.
Naturally, Ava obliged and closed the distance between the two of them.
Beatrice tugged her shoulder gently to get her to turn around. “How in the world did you manage to get batter on the back of her head?? That doesn’t even make any sense.”
Ava shrugged. “Natural talent? These things just happen to me Bea, you know that better than anyone.”
She hummed in agreement. “This is true. Honestly, it’s pretty bad. I don’t know how you are going to get this all out yourself. Come on, I’ll help you.”
Ava turned her body around so fast she was scared she accidentally gave herself whiplash. “What do you… help me how?”
“I’ll wash your hair for you.” She replied nonchalantly. Like she wasn’t offering to shower with Ava sans clothing.
“You mean you want me to— while you are naked? And I am naked??”
Beatrice laughed, pulling the shower curtain back more as an open invitation. “It’s fine, Ava. We change in front of each other all the time and we are both girls here. You don’t have anything that I haven’t seen a hundred times in the mirror myself.”
Ava blanched. “Well, yeah but… you want to shower together??” She squeaked, voice far higher pitched than it has possibly ever been.
“We don’t have to if you aren’t comfortable. Just figured it would be easiest. Up to you though.”
How in the actual fuck was this girl being so casual about this? Like it wasn’t weird at all?
Ava had never been more confused in her entire life.
She’d never say no to a free hair cleaning though, so—
“Uhh alright, okay. So should I just…” She vaguely gestured in a removing all of her clothes signal.
Beatrice shrugged, appearing completely casual somehow. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t generally shower whilst fully clothed. Keep them on, take them off, completely your choice.”
There were a lot of things in life Ava has yet to fully understand— like how people are able to whistle or know how to file their own taxes without the help of the internet or an accountant. Evidently though, there was another item to add to that list. And this entire situation, definitely earned a spot in her top 5.
“Right, yeah, cool.” She nodded to herself as she began to remove her socks and pants.
Beatrice had stepped back into the shower with the curtain closing behind her, most likely to resume her previous task of getting clean. As one does.
What one does not do —except for Bea and Ava… apparently— is get clean with their roommate with absolutely no barriers of clothing to preserve any form of modesty or privacy. But, well, there truly was a first time for everything.
With her bra off and underwear following shortly after, Ava decided to send up one last prayer to god or whatever the fuck higher power there may be that she didn’t make a complete ass of herself and accidentally stare at Beatrice’s nude form. Because that would be inappropriate and rude and really, honestly, she can’t believe that this is her life right now.
“Well, here goes nothing.” She whispered under her breath, pulling the shower curtain back and carefully, oh so carefully, entering the shower. So carefully, in fact, that her foot managed to catch the edge of the tub sending her flying forward into the very unforgiving tile wall right in front of her.
“Shit!” Ava yelped at a ridiculously high pitch, alerting Beatrice to her inevitable demise and would probably result in her losing her front two teeth.
Thankfully, Beatrice always has had amazing reflexes and so before she could slam her face into the wall, she reached out and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her back up to a standing position.
“Are you alright?” Beatrice asked, staring directly into her eyes with a concerned look on her face.
Ava stuck one of her thumbs up in affirmative with an idiotic grin on her face before completely forgetting herself and letting her eyes drop momentarily. The brief sight of Beatrice’s chest fully bare sent her eyes flying to the ceiling. “Yeah, yup, totally alright. All thanks to you, of course. As always, thank you for saving me.” She spoke to one of the lightbulbs above them.
“It’s not a problem, honestly. I’m just glad I don’t have to make another unplanned trip to the emergency room. It feels like we are there just about every other week.” She snorted.
Ava allowed her eyes to become unglued from the ceiling in favor of narrowing her eyes at Beatrice. “We are not there every other week, you are exaggerating.” She scoffed defensively.
“The entire hospital staff knows you on a first name basis and you send birthday gifts to one of the nurse’s kids every year.” Beatrice unhelpfully pointed out.
With an indignant huff, Ava crossed her arms over her chest. “Yeah because me and Ruth are super tight and it has absolutely nothing to do with my recurring visits, for your information.”
Beatrice looked at her dubiously then. “Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself. Now turn around before you accidentally break your ankle. I need to get this batter out of your hair before it starts to harden.”
“Fine.” Ava agreed, turning her back to Beatrice to allow her to begin her arduous task. It was honestly better like this anyways because now she couldn’t see Bea and wouldn’t have to worry about accidentally staring at her because from what little bit she had seen earlier, she has a phenomenal body that Ava could easily get lost in looking at.
Gentle hands began to massage her scalp, making Ava let out a sigh of relief at the contact. “That feels nice.” She murmured.
Beatrice had always been pretty talented with her hands which was especially true when it came to her massage skills. Normally she just massaged Ava’s back whenever it bothered her over her shirt but, this was good too.
With the soft sounds of water running in the background, Beatrice worked silently and effectively and before she knew it, Ava’s hair was completely free of any residual brownie batter.
“Okay, your hair is all clean. You should be able to easily get the rest of it off of you by yourself. I was almost done showering before you came in anyways so just give me a moment and it will be all yours.”
Ava nodded, her back still to Beatrice with her arms crossed over her chest to try and at least somewhat cover herself. “Cool, cool. You do you— or I mean, clean yourself. Not like do do yourself. That would be weird with me still in the shower. But, I mean, no judgment if you normally do or anything it’s just with me here it’s kinda awkward, am I rambling? I feel like I’m rambling. Right, I’m just going to stop talking starting… now.” She laughed nervously.
God, way to make a complete and total fool of herself. Sometimes she really did need to learn when to shut up. And she planned on working on exactly that— the second she was no longer in the shower with Beatrice, that is.
“It’s okay, Ava. I understood what you meant.” Beatrice snorted. “Anyways, I’m all done now so the shower is yours. I’ll probably be gone though by the time you get out, I have class.”
The sound of the shower curtain sliding open and closed let Ava know that she was finally in the clear to turn around. “Right, yeah. You have your philosophy lecture. Have fun and I’ll see you later tonight. I shouldn’t be out too late as long as Hans isn’t short staffed today so I don’t have to help him close.”
“Okay, just let me know. I’m making dinner tonight so if you get home after I have gone to bed I’ll save you some leftovers in the fridge.”
Ava mentally fist-pumped the air. Beatrice was an excellent cook so she always looked forward to having dinner there for her after getting off from an exhausting shift at the bar. “Awesome, thank you!”
“No problem. Have a good shift at work.”
And with that, Beatrice left the bathroom allowing Ava to finally finish her shower in peace.
***
The second time it happened wasn’t all that different from the first only this time, the end result was Ava receiving an impromptu haircut leaving her once long locks resting a bit above shoulder length.
Don’t ask her how –because she still doesn’t know– but she ended up getting gum in her hair. At first she did her usual googling to try and resolve the issue herself but unfortunately for her, all of the peanut butter in the world clearly wasn’t going to save her. Not when after each unsuccessful removal attempt it resulted in the gum somehow getting more tangled in her hair.
So, like she did with all of her unsolvable problems, she took it straight to Beatrice. Who took one look at her, facepalmed, and once again, dragged her back into the shower to see if some soap and water might help.
It didn’t, at all. And neither did her seeing Beatrice without a lick of clothing… again. Because apparently communal showers were just a thing they did in dire situations like this one. Even if it didn’t help one singular bit, it happened, still.
But it was fine because during both times their motives were pure and platonic and merely focused on the mission that was Ava’s uncanny ability to get random shit in her hair. So it wasn’t a big deal, really.
As long as you ignored the logical part of your brain that screamed this was in fact not normal and possibly the farthest thing from platonic it was fine. Completely and totally fine.
And Ava was fine too. So fine, in fact, that her brain had started replaying the memories of them showering together on repeat whenever she had so much as a singular second in which she allowed her thoughts to wander. But it wasn’t a big deal and they didn’t talk about it and so what if Ava’s teeny tiny crush on her roommate was starting to get a wee bit out of control? It was absolutely no one’s business but her own. And anyways, she was dealing with it as best she could (i.e. ignoring it like it didn’t exist in hopes of it somehow going away).
The third, fourth, fifth, and against all odds, sixth time it happened though?
Yeah, she didn’t really have a good excuse for those. At all.
The third time occurred after they had finished working out together because apparently, ‘cardio is good for your health and staying in shape improves a person’s quality of life as they age’ as Beatrice had explained to her one morning before forcing her to run three miles and subsequently making her legs become the consistency and stability of Jell-O on an airplane during heavy turbulence.
As a reward for her early morning torture, Beatrice offered to help her get clean and so naturally, they ended up in the shower together yet again.
After that though? It just kind of became this unspoken thing. Like a part of their daily routine as though it were as simple as brushing one’s teeth or eating breakfast.
If both of them were home at the same time in need of a shower then they just… did it together. To save time or maybe just because they could and Beatrice didn’t seem bothered by this development one bit. She wasn’t the one forcing her eyes to the ceiling and internally reprimanding herself whenever her gaze started to wander unconsciously. No, instead, Beatrice showered right next to her like it was the most normal thing in the world and not something that has come back to haunt her in her dreams late at night with soft exposed skin and endless adorable freckles taking up permanent residence in her mind.
So it was cool. Super cool, actually. And not at all an issue for Ava’s growing decidedly not platonic feelings for her roommate.
It wasn’t a problem. And Ava certainly wasn’t about to make things awkward by making it one.
***
Here’s the thing about not making something an issue though: not everyone will be willing to ignore what is so plainly right in front of them.
***
For the most part, Ava was what you could call a ‘social butterfly’. She liked meeting new people and making new friends. It was one of the reasons why she loved her job as a bartender so much because people from all over would sidle up to the bar and more often than not, tell her their life stories.
But for all of her workplace acquaintances, regular customers, and friends she has made throughout her life, by far the person closest to her was and would most likely always be, Mary (with Beatrice being a close second but in an entirely different way in which she didn’t care to examine at the moment).
For the past couple of years they have pretty much had a standing designated get together day in which they would meet up at a coffee shop, park, or more often than not, Mary’s house she lived in with her wife Shannon, and just shoot the shit over a beer or two.
They would vent about whatever was on their mind all while poking fun at the other because that’s just what they did. It was their tried and true dynamic, after all.
So.” Mary started, taking a seat on one of the nearby recliners with Ava lounging comfortably on her couch, beer already in hand. “How’s the wife?”
Ava rolled her eyes. Not this again. She took another sip of her drink. By the looks of it, she was going to need a little bit more than liquid courage to get through this conversation.
“Bea isn’t my wife and no, we are not dating for like the hundredth millionth time already.”
“Could have fooled me with how close you guys have been getting lately. Seriously, Ava, what’s up with that? Because I really don’t get it. Never in my life have I seen you be that close to another person without you dating them.”
Right, well, apparently they were doing this… again.
“We are just best friends who sleep in the same bed and shower together, it’s really not that big of a deal.”
Mary looked at her then, jaw practically dropping to the floor. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before shaking her head in disbelief, holding out her hand in a ‘stop right there’ motion. “Okay, pause, back all the way up. What in the ever-loving ‘and they were roommates’ bullshit is this? I knew about the bed sharing which is suspicious but passable enough as platonic but why in the world are you guys showering together?! Are you guys having platonic sex too??”
Ava scoffed defensively. “No we are not sleeping together—“
Mary’s eyes narrowed at her.
“Shut up! I don’t mean it like that. We sleep together but we don’t sleep together. That would be weird.”
“Oh, well, I’m glad you draw the line somewhere.” Mary deadpanned.
Ava rolled her eyes. “And we shower together sometimes because…” She paused, searching for a plausible explanation. Or just an explanation. Something is, after all, better than nothing. “Because it saves water.” Ava finished confidently, proud of herself for being able to think while on the spot like that.
“An environmentalist now are we?” Mary stared at her, completely unimpressed.
Ava nodded. “I mean the fucking— our planet is like, dying or whatever the shit. It’s the least we can do honestly.”
Mary raised both of her hands up in surrender. “I’m done. This is actually insane behavior, and for you baby girl, that’s saying something because you do dumb shit once every 2 hours like clockwork. You want to shower with your best friend and act like it’s normal? Be my guest because I just can’t with you. For all I care you guys can start going down on each other and say it’s a ‘platonic bonding exercise’ like fucking trust falls or whatever.”
“For the last time, we aren’t having sex!”
“Ava you know what the girl looks like naked while also being naked, it’s not that far of a jump.”
The finger she had raised in protest slowly deflated, mouth slamming shut.
Okay so like, maybe Mary had a point. But she wasn’t about to tell her that. She would actually never let Ava live it down if she did.
“Alright, look, I understand that it’s not the typical dynamic roommates have but—”
“Yeah.” Mary scoffed. “You can say that again.”
“—But, Bea isn’t acting like it’s anything weird and so I am just doing my best to go along with that. If she’s fine then I am fine and that’s all there is to it.”
“Right, except you clearly aren’t fine because your face just turned 10 shades brighter. Seriously, you would put the ripe tomatoes I buy at our local farmer’s market to shame.”
She had hoped that Mary wouldn’t have picked up on that fact or that maybe just maybe, the burning she felt on her face wasn’t as noticeable as figured it was. But alas, it appears she wildly underestimated her friend’s ability to see right through her calm facade.
Ava hid her face behind a nearby throw pillow. “I don’t want to talk about it.” She mumbled.
Mary sighed. “Of course you don’t Ms. ‘If I pretend the problem doesn’t exist it’ll just disappear’. You know that doesn’t actually work in real life, right?”
“Well not with that attitude.” She argued back weakly.
“Not with any attitude, you dingus. I love you Ava, but I swear, sometimes you are the dumbest person I know.”
Ava threw the pillow at her. “Really know how to charm a woman, don’t you. Whatever. I’m dealing with it, okay?”
“And by dealing with it you mean burying it behind 100 layers of denial and delusion. But sure, whatever makes you happy.” She threw the pillow back at her, hitting Ava square in the face.
“No headshots! That’s the rule!”
Mary held her hands up in surrender. “My bad, my bad. I didn’t mean to hit your face. I was just aiming for your shoulder but well, let’s just leave it at happy accidents.”
Ava held up one hand, flipping her friend the bird. “Happy accident my ass.” She grumbled.
“So, just to be completely clear. Your plan is to continue showering and sleeping with Beatrice and pretend that everything is status quo and like you aren’t falling head over heels for the girl?”
She nodded. “Yep, see, now you’re getting it.”
“Have I told you this is a terrible idea yet?”
“Only about a thousand times. Listen, I got it under control. Trust me.”
Mary shook her head. “Famous last words.”
Ava understood her friend’s concern. Truly, she did. But it wasn’t necessary.
She could and would continue to act like everything was fine and as if the entire situation was the epitome of casual.
So what if she showered and shared a bed with her roommate? It’s like they say, what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger. And with any luck, by the end of this, Ava would be a close second to the strongest woman on Earth. Or so she sincerely hoped.
Only one thing was for sure.
She needed another drink— and possibly a lobotomy. But for now, a simple beer would have to do. She could research top-rated neurosurgeons in her area later.