Chapter Text
Going back to the field again
Buck was finally at ease with the whole situation. True, he still loathed being on those blood thinners, although his doctor had started to wean him off them slowly. But being back at the station and having mended what seemed to be broken with his friends and family relieved him. He vividly remembered how natural it had felt to have a nice long talk over breakfast with Bobby after his Halloween stunt. A few days later, it all made sense to him. He even had to admit that Eddie had been right, that he had been too frustrated and self-centred when he hadn’t been able to get his life back as quickly as he had wanted, and he had silently feared not only losing his job but his family too. Silence had been the problem—not being honest with one another—but they all came around eventually.
Bobby had shown him that he was more than just some pretender when he was in gear, that he was just Buck, with or without it, and that Buck was enough. They had thought it as clear as day: them protecting him from being hurt any further, making sure Buck would be okay if he came back. And Buck took it for granted that they would know about his need to be surrounded by his family, doing the only thing he’d thought he was good at. Evan Buckley truly had believed that he wasn’t enough for anyone; firefighter Buckley, on the other hand, sufficed though.
They should have talked about the whole situation more when he first learned that he’d have to take it easy for some time, but all of their and his emotions had been too raw, too rattled by everything that had happened. The fear of losing him due to the damn truck and the bomber kid, and later due to the pneumonia scaring the shit out of everyone who’d been around to witness him breaking down after coughing up all that blood. Not to mention the tsunami. They soothed themselves and thought that even without speaking a word about it, everyone had been on the same page. They shouldn’t have settled with unvoiced expectations. That they did learn the hard way. They should have talked. Especially Bobby and him. Maybe then, this goddamn awful lawsuit could have been avoided.
Shaking his head in slight dismissal of his thoughts, Buck stowed away his civilian jacket and made his way up to the loft. He really should stop brooding about the past. But he was so determined not to let it happen again. He should at least have learned something from it by now. When he reached the upper level, he just had to smile. Bobby was at the kitchen counter, preparing the last bits for breakfast, while the rest of the team were already gathered at the table. The lively chatter amongst his lot didn’t break up when he joined them, and he was grateful. A completely different display from how it had been in the last weeks, a time when the air in the room almost always seemed to drop some degrees as soon as he neared them. Today finally felt like it was supposed to be: a family who gathered in shared, comforting company. Bobby came over and held out a basket with freshly baked slices of bread to everyone, and not long after, they were all enjoying their food, chatting along with each other.
“Well, everyone, I wanted to announce that I decided to let Buck back into the field again, as of now!” Bobby declared all of a sudden, earning him the undivided attention of his team.
Everyone seemed to be happy about it and even cheered for the decision. Eddie patted his younger friend reassuringly on the shoulder when he realised that he didn’t seem to catch on. Buck just sat there, surprise written all over his face, uncertainty shining in his round, light blue eyes. Everyone caught on to the unusual silence of the youngster and focused their attention on him. His lips suddenly felt so dry. He nervously licked them and tried to bring order to the chaos in his mind.
“But… I …” he started, but couldn’t bring himself to continue, as he saw the concern on his colleagues’ faces.
Bobby realised what was going on and just chuckled to show his amusement and to break off the tension. He leaned in a bit more to focus on Evan. “What? That was what you had fought for! And I see that keeping you out of harm’s way is nearly impossible. And I’m not just thinking about Halloween. The only way to find out if you’re ready or not is in the field. Also, in the field, it’s still my rules you have to follow! As I see it, we take it slow. When we’re out there and I order you to stand down, what do you do?” he questioned challengingly.
Buck had listened carefully, and the more he heard, the wider his smile grew. Bobby wasn’t throwing him into cold water out of nothing. It was his way to show him that he trusted him and that he wanted Buck to be ready to fully dive into action again as soon as he finally got rid of those damn blood thinners. His captain would assess the situation on the scene and then decide whether or not Buck would join in the action or be ordered to survey the truck for the time being. This he could do, and he happily realised that this was just another step towards getting his life back on track. An amused chuckle escaped his lips: “I get the pompoms and stand down cheering?” he retorted, making the whole table break out in laughter.
“Then I demand a show that lets the Super Bowl look like child’s play!” Chimney spurted out, rekindling the laughter that was just about to ebb away, as the alarm went off, startling everyone into action.
Buck, visibly shaken, felt unsure of what to do as he got dragged up by Eddie at the elbow: “No time to waste! You heard the Cap’, time for a field trip!” he joked, which brought his friend back to action.
It just took a split second after that for Buck’s brain to switch into its usual professional working mode. If anyone had asked him in this moment how it felt to gear up again, they would not have gotten a voiced answer. But the excitement and spark in his eyes would have been proof enough that Evan Buckley was still alive and kicking and thrilled about it.
➈-➀-➀
Upon arriving at the scene, they were greeted by some first responders from the LAPD. They had secured the civilians to the side, at a safer distance, and assisted in clearing out vehicles that could easily be moved. Bobby took the lead, whilst his team filed from the truck and the ambulance, waiting for further instructions. Their captain had come to a halt in front of a middle-aged police sergeant who instantly began to explain the situation. After that, it didn’t take long for him to re-join his team.
“Okay everyone, triage was set up over there; they will need assistance until the additional ambulances arrive, but Sgt. Wellis assured me that injuries are mostly superficial. But the first two cars to crash are further down the road, and in need of immediate assistance. First responders on site couldn’t secure the locked-in passengers. They are waiting for us to take over. Help will come from the west side, but a flipped truck is blocking the way from there, so we go in from here. Hen, Chimney, I need you with your equipment down there. Assess the situation. Radio to Buck what you need to free the victims, and I’ll come to assist. Eddie, Stevy: check the vehicles for potential leakages and act accordingly. And Buck, if the tows manage to make way to the main wreckages, bring the ambulance down. Alright everybody, MOVE!” Bobby bellowed the last part of his order, and everyone jumped into action.
Buck felt his blood pump heavily through his veins, and the all-too-familiar surge of adrenaline helped him to stay focused. Everything felt so natural right now, even though he wasn’t the one ordered to the front line. But just being at the scene, being able to be part of the drill again, lifted his spirits to a whole new level. A little part in the back of his brain was ashamed of himself. It had needed an emergency situation, a very well life-threatening incident for another innocent person, to make him feel like he belonged again. But he caught his destructive thoughts just in time, pushing down that feeling, and set to the task Bobby had given him. There was no shame in being thrilled about being back at one’s job again, he reminded himself. It didn’t take long, and Buck had sent Bobby with the saw on his way, now impatiently waiting for any new orders while he watched the progress of the tows, hand on the radio and ready to move as soon as needed.
Jogging back to his side, Stevy stopped short before him, taking a deep breath. “We already updated Cap’ over the radio. No leakages. I’m staying on call with you and Eddie is helping out over at the triage. You got anything?” The slightly older man updated him, still trying to catch his breath from running in full gear.
Buck didn’t look at him but was listening: “Yeah, Bobby is helping Hen and Chim to get the victims out. It looks not too severe but as long as the two drivers are still in their cars, it’s hard to say. Their condition could change any second though. I’m still waiting on the tows to clear the road. You should start ahead with a backboard and update me if they’ll need two ambulances on site!”
After not receiving any form of acknowledgment, Buck side glanced at his fellow fireman who in turn started to blink in slow understanding.
“You got it! Good to have you back, Buckley,” Stevy finally acknowledged.
Buck’s colleague got back into action and did what he had told him, making his way down to Hen and the others with the backboard. But the contemplation and hesitation had left Buck puzzled. He didn’t know the man that well. Stevy was from B-shift and there to help out during his absence. They got along okay, but it dawned on him that he had never actually shared any time in the field with him. While it felt natural for Buck to think and act ahead, even after all those weeks on the bench, Stevy must have felt unsure of what to do. It hadn’t been an order from the captain; for him, it was just a suggestion from a fellow firefighter he had never worked with. Buck was glad that the man hadn’t challenged him and was content enough with his assessment that he went with it. He just hoped that he hadn’t overstepped a line with Bobby. After all, it wasn’t the deal that he threw out orders. He was supposed to stay back, waiting for orders and not be the one giving them.
Just a brief moment later, he got radioed: “We need that second ambulance. How’s the situation on the roadblock?” Bobby’s strained voice demanded to know.
Something must have turned for the worse.
“Still two down. I’ll get some reinforcement and start making my way through to you!” Buck answered as he made his way to their ambulance. He radioed dispatch, and they promised to send another team of paramedics their way as soon as backup arrived. The first ambulance was already gone with some of the victims at triage who were to be treated at a hospital. The seconds ticked away as Buck started the engine and just waited for the last car to be towed out of his way when his radio crackled to life again.
“Buck, we need you and the extra ambulance!” Chim’s voice harshly cut through the air.
Buck hesitantly took a look over his shoulder; he could see a new set of ambulances arrive in the distance. Relieved upon sight, he clicked: “Your order is being processed, sir. The block is about to be cleared any second now, and your server is on the way to your table, with backup bringing refreshments!”
He ignored his friend’s name-calling as he started to make his way down the aisle of crashed vehicles, careful not to crash himself. The backup ambulance soon caught up to him, and they listened to Hen's update about their patients. They needed to retrieve them both as fast as they could. Both had lost a lot of blood but were in different stages of consciousness.
Buck and the other driver had to manoeuvre around the still scattered debris. They synchronously turned their vehicles around to give their colleagues direct access to the backs. The new set of paramedics jumped into action as soon as the backup wheels stopped. They rushed to the side of Hen and Chimney to help with their victims as Bobby and Stevy stepped aside to make room for the professionals. It took their captain just a second to stride over to the driver’s side of the 118th ambulance. “You okay, kid?” he asked with a slight hint of concern in his voice.
To Bobby’s relief, Buck just flashed him his boyish smile and nodded. “Don’t worry about me. All fine here, but I’ve forgotten to pack the pompoms!” he joked and had to grin as he saw his superior shaking his head in mock contempt, but with a very approving smile on his lips.
Bobby reached out and patted the youngster on his left arm. “You keep doing you, and by that, I mean well!” he laughed under his breath and went back to check on the progress of securing the injured.
Hen and Chimney had to split up and got into different ambulances. Hen and one of the new paramedics went with Buck, and Chimney with the other one. They would monitor their respective injured and work with the other paramedics to keep both stable enough to get into surgery at the hospital. When everyone was securely seated, Bobby signalled that Buck and his backup were good to go. More wasn’t needed, and Bobby watched as both ambulances took off. He checked the side and went over to Stevy. “Good work. Let’s get the gear and head back to the truck. We’ll check in with Eddie and see if he needs anything else.”
The younger man nodded and instantly started to gather their stuff when Bobby’s radio sounded again. “Cap, we’re nearly a wrap at triage. What’s your status?” Eddie checked in.
“We’re good. Short of an ambulance, Hen, Chim, and Buck, but nearly done here too. Meet us at the truck. I’ll get hold of Sgt. Wellis,” Bobby ordered, satisfied with how well their exertion had gone.
“Understood!” was the short but curt acknowledgment from his ex-military team member, and so they just went to meet up with each other.