Chapter Text
Ten years. Ten years is a long time to be under a spell.
She remembers fighting people she should does know. She remembers feeling the thrill of it up until the only voice that could command her ordered her to stop. She remembers being confused but an order from the princess, from her Queen is absolute. She had glanced over to see why only to feel fear that quickly turned to rage when she saw a sword at the princess’s throat. She remembers lunging forward because something in her knew he would never kill an unarmed person, enemy or not. And if she died in service, she would die knowing she did everything she could to protect her.
Only to be caught in magic as she moves. And the spell that has been part of her for ten years leaves. It goes so quickly, so violently the magic tears out from where it had entwined and buried itself in her soul that it leaves Chloe feeling hollow. Standing in front of the sword, that had once been pointed at Red’s neck, now points at her own heart.
Chloe blinks as if waking and looks at the man in front of her, the tip of her sword dropping downwards, “Chad?”
He smiles, older, wearier, and yet it still tugs at a memory. “Chloe,” he says tentative, moving his sword away from her but not sheathing it. “I’m glad you’re back.” He envelopes her in a hug. And she doesn’t feel a thing. Numb. “We’ll catch up later, promise. I’ve got some issue to address first. Take her to the dungeons.” He gestures at someone behind her.
It takes Chloe a moment to realize he means Red. Her sword is up in a defensive position before it even registers.
“Chloe,” concern laces Chad’s tone and she can’t shake the feeling that it isn’t right. Red doesn’t deserve to be in the dungeons. And although the sword feels wrong in her hands where minutes before it had felt right, she doesn’t move. Doesn’t relax. Can’t help but think of these people, people she now recognizes, as threats. Her limbs feel mechanical as if she’s not quite all here, as if none of this is real. She’s in limbo, stuck in a staring contest with her brother and she doesn’t even know why.
“Hey.” A hand touches Chloe’s shoulder, and she is powerless to disobey. Chloe turns and immediately looks away because there is something in Red’s eyes. “Look at me.” An order. So, she does. “It’ll be fine.” But Chloe can read the lie in her eyes and a spark of something aches in her chest. The “please” the follows is so quiet that Chole doesn’t think anyone hears it. Still, she almost nods before catching herself as she steps back and sheaths her sword.
Red looks regal. Like the queen she should have been if her mother wasn’t alive. She nods at the guards and acknowledges Chad as though she has just lost a particularly complicated croquet game. “Well?” Red drawls impatient, “are we not going?”
“Yes, yes. Take her.” The guards move forward cautiously. One of them is keeping an eye on Chloe. “Wait.” The guards halt again at the Prince’s voice. Chad glances at Chloe searching for something. She’s not sure what he sees before readdressing the guards, “take her to one of the towers, not the dungeons, and post a guard there.”
“My my, what a gentleman, you are,” Red says with the sweetness of a dripping caramel apple that is hiding a nasty surprise inside. She glances at Chloe, and Chloe thinks her expression is a hint softer, “Come visit me in the tower.” It’s sounds like an order but all Chloe can hear is the question, the slight uneasiness. And she sees the hint of desperation in Red’s eyes when she doesn’t answer. And that’s the last thing Chloe sees as Red disappears around the corner before her legs give out and everything goes dark.
It’s months since the retaking of Aurodon from the Evil Red Queen and her daughter, and Chloe can still barely feel anything beyond numbness. She remembers the healers and therapists talking to her family about her. Explaining that ten years is a long time to be under a spell. Although, the other card soldiers seem to have recovered fine in very short order and many of them had been under longer than she had. But hers was different. Intention in spell casting matters, and no one except Red herself, knows what the intention was. And Red, Red refuses to tell anyone but Chloe.
And Chloe finds that she can’t, that she’s a coward. Because whenever she thinks of Red in anyway, she’s no longer numb and numbness is better than feeling that something. Because then she would have to face the memories. The memories that are hers and yet not hers that haunt her like phantoms dogs nipping at her heels. The days go by and mostly she still just feels nothing.
It's rather telling that what Chloe considers her better days, are when she’s not seeing ghosts everywhere she looks and she thinks, that she should be feeling happy. Most days are okay, where she remembers the screams, the sticky blood of her family on her hands, the feeling of being powerless, the whispers that tell her to kill and she thinks maybe she should feel guilty. But the worst days… the worst days are the times she remembers…
Chloe runs a hand through her hair refusing to go down that train of thought abruptly cutting off anything before she feels. Absently she notes that she can now see blue now. After the reclamation of Auradon she had cut it, trying to outrun the memories before she realized not feeling was better than feeling.
Now it’s growing back she can tell is not quite the same bright blue that she had when she was younger. It’s darker now, just a couple of shades. And she’s not sure if she likes it, not sure if she’s missing the bright blue of a naïve child, or the red and black and claimed her as Red’s.
Logically, Chloe knows she should hate Red as much as she hates the Red Queen, hatred for the Red Queen might be the only thing she allows now but she had hated her even back then. Hate them both for what they did to her, for what they did to her family, her mother. For what they did to her home. But in the dead of night when no one can see her. When no one can judge her for wanting what she wants. She wishes to go back to the simple times, when all she had to do was obey. When all she had to do was be whatever her princess wanted her to be. Whether that be a knight or a guard or something more.
And Chloe.
Chloe hates herself for it.