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He hears the voices first.
He thought he could ignore it, hoping they were for his neighbors. But nothing could ever be that easy could it?
When he hears the knock, he forces himself to relax and think about it realistically.
The knock had been polite. It was only 10 am. No one had flashed into his house yet.
Still. He was wary.
He tried to convince himself that it was most likely just some mortal asking questions for a survey.
It didn’t help. He was still on high alert as he went to answer the door.
He was greeted by a middle aged man and a woman, both of them in semi-casual attire.
He was pretty sure they weren’t gods but then again the woman did look vaguely familiar. It would be just his luck that they were some minor gods.
“Phil Coulson from SHIELD.” The man introduced himself, flashing his badge for credibility.
Percy blinked, confused.
The woman seemed to pick up on his confusion. “Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”
Oh. Well, this was decidedly not a godly issue. But being watched by the government? That wasn’t much better.
This was just great . Immortals had given him a break just for mortals to be after him instead. Seriously, was it too much to ask for something to not be about him?
He’s about to shut the door in their face when the woman introduces herself. “Natasha Romanoff.”
She shakes his hand and he has the feeling that he’s under an assessment.
Oh this was bad . He had been caught up on the news on the Avengers. And if they were interested in him? It spelled trouble. And not the kind of trouble he could run through with a sword either.
“What do you want?” Percy asks, trying to be polite but he knew it definitely came out harsher than he intended.
“We mean no harm.” The guy speaks in a soothing tone, “We just uncovered some recent evidence we needed to investigate further.”
“We’ll just ask a couple of questions and then we’ll be on our way.” The Black Widow adds.
Percy narrowed his eyes. It seemed too easy.
“Okay let’s get this over it.” Percy said, rolling his eyes, already resigned to losing his afternoon.
Coulson laughs. “Oh you seem to be mistaken. We’re not here for you.”
Percy stops short at that. That didn’t make sense. Who else could they be looking for? Annabeth?
He looks at them, the shock and confusion clear on his face.
Natasha’s lips quirk upwards. He’s sure that’s her way of laughing at him.
“We’re here for a Miss Sally Jackson.”
“Jackson-Blofis.” Percy corrects automatically before the rest of the statement catches up to him.
His mouth falls open. “Why do you need to talk to my mom?”
“We have reason to believe that she has powers.”
What the fuck.
That didn’t make sense.
If anyone had powers, it was him .
Nothing about this made any sense.
Percy could feel an oncoming headache. Fuck this. This was way worse. Percy would like the world to go back to blaming him and not his mom, thank you very much.
He’s sure the fates were laughing at him right now.
Instead he forces himself to think rationally.
“What powers?”
“We believe she can turn people to stone.”
Percy blinked. Sure, his mom had turned Gabe into a statue years ago but why was it being brought up now?
“What?” Percy asks blankly.
“We’ve come across three life-like statues recently and have found the structures to be very similar to The Poker Player.”
Of course, only fucking Gabe would find a way to haunt him from beyond his grave. At least monsters didn’t bother him until they were reincarnated.
Coulson seems to take pity on him. “We understand it might be difficult to understand. That’s why Natasha is here. The red room is known to create professionals.”
Nope. Percy couldn’t do this. They thought his mom was working with someone from the red room?
You know what? It was time for a little self care.
He doesn’t bother to hear what else they have to say.
He’s just grateful his mom wasn’t at home, giving him the perfect excuse.
“Sorry, she's not at home.” he says, then slams the door in their faces.
~
“What do you mean you didn’t dispose of Medusa’s head?”
His mother stared at him. “How am I supposed to dispose of it? It’s dangerous if anyone else looks at it!”
Percy spluttered.
“What did you think happened to it all this time?”
“I don’t know, I thought it disappeared!”
Sally pointedly looks at the Minotaur horn hanging in their living room.
And - all right yeah, that was on him.
“So you’ve what? Been moonlighting as a vigilante?”
“Yes Percy I’ve been a part time vigilante all this time.”
Her lips quirk upwards.
“You’re laughing at me.”
“I’m not.” Sally says placatingly, her smile growing wider.
Percy just rolls his eyes.
“So what did you do with it?”
“Don’t worry it’s in safe hands.”
“What happened to not wanting it to fall into the wrong hands?” Percy asks sarcastically.
His mother just smiles, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Oh, that wouldn't be an issue for him.”
Percy wasn’t reassured.“What do you mean?”
“He’s blind.”
….Sure why the fuck not?
Blind vigilantes, what's next?
“So what do we do if the black widow comes back?”
Sally’s smile grows wider. “Don’t worry, I have a lawyer.”
Percy just raised an eyebrow. There was no way they earned enough to have a lawyer on speed dial.
Suddenly, he realizes something. They might not have a normal lawyer but -
“The lawyer’s the blind vigilante isn’t he?”
“I knew you would figure it out.” Sally says, smiling proudly at him, but Percy’s too shocked to really appreciate it.
“Do I even want to know how you met him?”
“I have my ways.” Percy rolled his eyes. People tended to think he got his rebellious spirit from his dad, but they tended to forget who actually raised him.
“Does Paul know of this?”
Her mom smiles widely. “Who do you think introduced me to the vigilante?”
Honestly, Percy should have seen it coming. Most people would have run to the hills by now, but Paul had always been supportive of them. God, he really was perfect for his mom.
Percy sighed. “At least I don’t have to worry about you guys being able to take care of yourselves.”
Sally just laughed at him. “I thought you would have figured that out when I almost stabbed Poseidon.”
Percy didn’t even want to decipher what that meant.