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It must have been the blood loss. The fact that everything blurred. All of the sudden. Where there would usually be questions running through his mind — how had this happened, who had it out for him, why hadn’t he been strong enough — there was nothing. His legs had brought him here. He couldn’t quite bring himself to be surprised. Every fucking thing in his life always brought him back here.
Well not here. Not at Naruto’s doorstep per se. To Naruto.
Everything would always bring him back to Naruto. Stupid, stupid. If he’d had any headspace he would have thought about how he’d denied Naruto’s request, begging, for him to come here. Time and time again. He would have been ashamed that he would suddenly come here when in need, instead of just once in a while when Naruto asked. He guessed Naruto knew he was selfish by now. More than that, he could barely see the door with his blurred eyes. He recognized it, though, and his body found that enough to let him absolutely collapse. If it had been any other day he would have thought about how he didn’t know if Naruto was even home, or when he’d come back. He would have taken time to sense his chakra. Now, the implication of the front door to the shitty apartment was clear: Naruto would find him.
Not that Naruto hadn’t found him everywhere else. Really. Maybe it didn’t matter.
He blacked out.
When he woke up, Naruto was doing some paperwork at the dinner table. Sasuke didn’t quite know Naruto knew how to do paperwork, but he figured that wasn’t the reason he couldn’t keep his eyes off him. Something in his heart settled. Calmed. He watched as Naruto pushed his hand through his hair and frowned, wrote everything on a separate note — messy, scratching things away — before writing the right thing down on the official documents as neatly as he could. Sasuke watched the small wrinkles between his eyebrows. He wasn’t used to seeing Naruto like this. So serious. Maybe he wasn’t used to seeing Naruto at all, these days. He’d known that seeing him again would make him feel like this.
It was one of the reason’s he’d avoided coming back.
Suddenly, Naruto looked up. “Oh!” he said. He pushed his paperwork aside, not bothering to finish the sentence he was writing even though Sasuke had seen him put effort into forming it. Sasuke wanted to joke about it, but it felt like there were weights pressing on his chest. Kind of like he’d puke up blood if he’d try to talk.
Naruto scrambled over, sat next to the couch, next to Sasuke, and reached out. He pushed Sasuke’s hair out of his face — which he hadn’t realised was there — and then pulled his hand back as if he’d done something he wasn’t allowed to do. He was. Always. Naruto didn’t know that, though. Sasuke wasn’t about to tell him either.
“How are you feeling?”
Sasuke didn’t answer. He looked down to see if there was actually something weighing on his chest. He found himself in Naruto’s clothes. Which meant Naruto had changed him into this, somehow. It had probably been a hassle.
“That bad?” Naruto tried to laugh, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He laid his hand on the couch next to Sasuke, as if he couldn’t touch him but wanted to be close regardless. “I was — I was really worried there for a second. Um. Sakura patched you up, don’t worry. She, she did a good job. You know I’m — I mean I had kyuubi heal you before she came in but that was mainly, keeping you alive and stuff, but the patching up was — uh — yeah her.” Naruto laid his head on the couch, next to Sasuke, near his own hand. When he looked up again, he breathed out shakily. “You scared me, Sas. You were — I don’t know.”
Sasuke didn’t want Sakura to know he was here, in this state.
He didn’t want anyone to know he was here except for Naruto.
Most of all, he didn’t want Naruto to look the way he did. “Sorry—” he mumbled. “Shouldn’t have come.”
“Oh shut the fuck up.” There was no real bite in Naruto’s tone. “Always come here. Fuck that. You should always come find me if you need anyone. For anything really. I’ll be here.”
Sasuke looked around in Naruto’s apartment. Shitty looking apartment, still. More plants these days. It was only anything like a home because Naruto lived here. He had lived here for as long as he remembered. He wondered if staying here was one of Naruto’s many ways of waiting for him.
“Or if you don’t need anything. Whenever you just want to, you know.”
He made a sound to tell Naruto that he’d listened, though it was hoarse and soft. Then, he tried looking at his own body again. He pushed the blanket Naruto had laid on top of him down and then slowly pushed up the orange sweater. He ignored how wearing a hoodie so typically Naruto made him feel. Instead — he looked at the cut in his stomach. It was a bit longer than ten centimetres, on the left side of his stomach. It looked pretty bad. Must have looked awful — if it looked like this even after Sakura healed him. She wasn’t one to leave scarring if it could be avoided. Naruto had said he’d scared him. Still afraid of losing him, after everything. It would have been stupid, dying like this. Not that he’d die from anything but Naruto’s hands. No way.
He watched as Naruto’s hand lingered, next to his stomach. The worried look in his eyes. He wondered if Naruto had spent the morning cleaning his blood off the entrance, off the floor.
It would have been so fucking stupid to die by anything but Naruto’s hands.
“You can touch me.”
“What?”
Sasuke laid his head back, looked at the ceiling. “You wanted to.” It was no question. He knew what someone looked like if they wanted to touch someone. He was glad no one had ever called him out for looking at Naruto that way. Not that people often saw them together anyway — he looked for Naruto in private places. Or when bleeding out, apparently.
“You must really be out of it,” Naruto mumbled.
“Mhm.”
Naruto reached out nonetheless. Sasuke kept his eyes on the ceiling, afraid. Naruto’s fingertips touched his stomach, tracing the wound that still felt like it was burning. His fingers were warm, a little sweaty and calloused. He wondered if Naruto had ever touched him so softly. If anyone — after his parents died — had done so.
It felt a little like a hand to the forehead when he was sick.
“Did you—” Win. Kill them. Finish the job.
“Yeah.” It was stupid he’d been so badly hurt in the first place.
Naruto hummed a little. Sasuke figured he would have gotten up at the asscrack of dawn on a murder mission if Sasuke had said no. “Does it hurt?”
Sasuke took all of his energy to turn towards Naruto, to look at him. The boy was beautiful. For a second, he felt glad he’d come to Naruto’s shitty apartment. He was still hurting, yes , but he barely felt it .
“Not anymore.” he forced out before passing out again, Naruto’s hand still on his stomach. A comforting feeling. He was safe, it told him. He’d made his way to where he was supposed to be.
Sasuke stayed. He didn’t quite know what came over him, but he did. The first day, he could have left, probably, but it would have been uncomfortable. Every time he got up he felt nauseous. The first time he tried getting up, too fast because he was pissed off and done with laying around, he started hurling right away. He dragged himself to the toilet as fast as he could. Naruto dropped whatever he was doing and came running. As Sasuke felt the vomit push through his throat, his nose, Naruto took his hair and held it up. Sasuke hated himself in that second. Naruto’s fingers in his neck were too warm. Sasuke was pretty sure he’d gotten vomit on his hair anyway, no need for Naruto to fucking bother.
Still he didn’t push Naruto away.
Naruto kept his hair back with one hand, let his other one caress Sasuke’s back. He felt weak. “You probably have a concussion,” Naruto whispered when the worst had passed.
“No shit.” Naruto dropped his hair in favour of getting him a glass of water. Sasuke had been right, it was slightly wet. He took the glass for Naruto’s hands and chugged all of it down at once. “I’m going to cut my fucking hair off.”
“Huh?”
“It’s getting in the fucking way.” Sasuke got up again. He’d do it with a kunai if Naruto didn’t have a scissor.
Before he knew it, though, he was out of balance again. Naruto grabbed onto him, keeping him in place. “Wow, steady. You okay?”
Sasuke didn’t reply.
“You should sit down again, maybe.” Sasuke wanted to roll his eyes, but figured that that wouldn’t help him keep upright. He walked towards the couch and felt Naruto’s hands on his arm. “Also, please don’t cut your hair off. It’s beautiful like this.”
“Think I care?”
“Probably not but I—” Naruto cut himself off.
I do. He’d wanted to say. Sasuke suddenly didn’t feel so angry anymore. Not with his hair, at least. Just with himself. A little. For his beating heart. For being here even though he should know better. “What?”
“It’s nothing.” Naruto pushed him down on the couch again. “Really. Nothing. You should rest. Lay down.”
In the evening, Naruto made them both cup ramen. Sasuke wondered if Naruto hadn’t learned to cook anything, still, or if he just didn’t feel like doing it. He had learned to write proper papers, in line for being Hokage, whatever. He should know how to make some fried rice by now. Sasuke wasn’t too bothered by the ramen. He sat up straight carefully, the cut in his stomach hurting like a bitch, and started eating.
Naruto chatted in between bites, telling him stories of missions and of the village. Sasuke knew he’d been gone for a long time, and that he wasn’t quite interested in anyones life, really, but it made him realise how much time had passed. Their old classmates were married, or getting married. Sakura pretty much owned the hospital these days and was starting an orphanage. Ino was taking over for her father, trying to figure out what to do with the flower shop. Even Akamaru had gotten pups.
Everyone was building a life.
It wasn’t right.
That wasn’t right at all.
Naruto told him all of it without blinking an eye. Excited for them. Kind to a fault. It pissed Sasuke off. Did Naruto not realise that he was the only one stuck in place? What the hell was he doing in this same apartment? Taking care of Sasuke who would leave again once he could stand up without puking his guts out?
None of it seemed fair. “Aren’t you going to marry anyone?” He asked, maybe too much out of the blue. He had no idea what Naruto had been talking about.
“What?”
“Or date.”
Naruto had almost finished his ramen, was about to bring his cup to his lips to drink the last bit of broth. “I don’t know. Someone confessed to me.”
Sasuke hadn’t known that. Naruto told him everything about everyone, but he hadn’t told him. The weight on his chest was back again — tugging. Maybe that hadn’t been the blood loss. “But?”
“But nothing.” Naruto put his cup down, frowned at Sasuke. “Would you want me to do that?”
Sasuke put his cup onto the table. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”
“Oh.” Why was that a surprise?
“Do you want that?”
“I don’t know. Not really. Maybe someday.”
Sasuke didn’t answer him, even though Naruto looked at him a little confused — lost. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. He knew Naruto didn’t feel the same way he did. He didn’t know if he’d feel better if Naruto had talked to him about some girl he liked. About still wanting to marry Sakura or whatever. About the person who confessed to him.
None of that would make him feel better.
Not that this didn’t suck.
Sasuke didn’t leave the next day, even when he could stand again. He did get up, but instead of leaving he walked to the grocery store. Naruto was still sleeping, his mouth open and his bedsheets between his legs. It was probably for the better; Sasuke wasn’t in the best mood. His stomach was still hurting, he was tired from sleeping on the couch and Naruto had no vegetables, no eggs, no coffee. No nothing.
When he stepped outside, he realised that Naruto had tried to clean the hallway, but that the outside was still covered in specks of blood. He briefly wondered if the neighbours were used to that by now, but decided to forget it. Coffee. Eggs. He headed to the grocery store.
Which was right around the corner.
Still, he didn’t manage to even get to said corner before he felt himself being pulled back. Naruto. His chakra ruffled. His hair too. “You’re leaving?” His voice sounded hoarse with sleep.
Naruto was wearing sweatpants, ones he hadn’t been wearing before, but still had the same sleeping shirt on. His hair was a mess and there was a bit of dried saliva in the corner of his mouth. “You didn’t even say anything,” he added, his voice soft.
“Coffee,” Sasuke said, ignoring the eggs and vegetables for a second. He hoped Naruto understood. Naruto knew him better than anyone. So.
“Oh!” Naruto straightened his back, awkwardly. He looked down at himself, at his pyjamas and slippers. “Getting breakfast? Oh, okay. Yeah. Can I come?”
Sasuke eyed him. He quite liked this look — his hair sticking up and a soft look in his eyes. He doubted the other villagers appreciated it just as much. Actually, since everyone loved Naruto now, or whatever, they might like it. That idea made him sick with jealousy. Sick with something much worse than jealousy.
“Sas—”
“You’ve got dried saliva on your chin.”
“Oh!” Naruto rubbed his chin. “Shit, yeah Ino gave me shit for it on my last mission as well. Apparently I sleep with my mouth open.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto somehow managed to rub everywhere but in the right spot. “Hope I don’t snore.”
He took Naruto’s chin in his hands, rubbed the white spot away. “It’s fine,” he said. Naruto stood there, silent and embarrassed, blushing. Sasuke didn’t want to think about what that meant. “Let’s go.”
Naruto took a while to reboot, but once he had, he came running after him. “So I do? Snore, I mean.”
Back in Naruto’s apartment, Sasuke made them omelettes. One with vegetables for himself. A plain one for Naruo. Naruto lingered in the kitchen. Sasuke had shot down multiple c an I help? ’s and was now trying to deal with Naruto just watching him. He let him, though. Didn’t really want the distance between the kitchen and the couch between them either.
So they stayed close, seemingly for no reason.
The same way Naruto had walked behind him, sometimes next to him, in the supermarket. As if he was afraid that Sasuke would disappear the second he looked away. He guessed that he had done so, often. He didn’t quite feel like leaving yet, now, though.
It was still early.
Naruto’s frying pan was sent straight from hell — burning even the easiest omelette. Sasuke scratched Naruto’s omelette from the bottom and gave Naruto a glare. “Get a better pan.”
“I don’t even use it.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Whatever then. I don’t care.” What Sasuke wanted to say was: if you want me here, make it a place where I can be. What he added was, maybe, already too close to what he really meant. “Not all of us can eat cup ramen every day.”
Naruto stared at him. Sasuke wondered if one calm day together was going to destroy them, if he kept going like this. Naruto’s brain seemed to be having an error. Sasuke didn’t feel much better off either. Being next to Naruto made him want to stay. Being in Konoha, in this apartment, made him want to throw something through the window.
Sasuke scooped the egg onto a plate and pushed it into Naruto’s hands before he could say anything. “Go sit.”
Naruto, maybe in shock, whatever, did so. Sasuke watched his own omelette burn, feeling stupid. It wasn’t like he was doing much better than Naruto; he didn’t even have a house. He’d go insane if he was the one still living in his childhood home, though.
The house where he’d been lonely. He’d hear the voices of the villagers there. Did you hear what happened to the Uchiha-clan? Much like he heard the voices of the villagers here. That kid is a monster, you should stay away from him.
How did Naruto do it? Were the few plants he’d added really enough to not feel all those years?
Sasuke scratched his omelette from the pan and threw it on his plate. He sat down on the ground near Naruto’s legs. “Hey Sas.’
“Hm?”
“What do you think I should do, then?”
Sasuke watched him. “I’m not exactly the person to ask for advice.”
“Oh fuck off with that.” Naruto rubbed his neck. “I mean, it’s not like Sakura has never said it. That I should move, but I don’t know — what if things change?”
That surprised him. Somehow.
Even though Naruto was still here. Unmovable.
“Do you not want that?” It couldn’t be that Naruto was happy like this, right?
“I don’t know.”
Sasuke ate a bit of his omelette, thinking about that. Then he asked: “What’s the worst that could happen if things change?”
Naruto shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Another day, Sasuke would have given Naruto shit for saying I don’t know, I don’t know as an answer to everything. Now, he pinned Naruto with a look and said: “Humour me.”
“Sas— I don’t know— maybe that you stop coming over or something.” Naruto looked away awkwardly. Then, he started waving, panicked. “Actually nevermind. No. I just don’t know, okay.”
Sasuke breathed in. Why — why had he not expected that obvious answer? Naruto had always made things about him. Always. Still, every time he did, it seemed unfair. How could Naruto throw his life away for him? Why couldn’t he choose himself?
That answer was, maybe, obvious too.
It was the reason he didn’t ask the logical follow up question. What’s the best that could happen?
Because Sasuke knew what the best that could happen was.
A better pan, that’s for sure. Maybe some coffee, vegetables in the fridge. A garden. Sasuke staying in Naruto’s house. That stupid genin picture of them standing in the hallway. In Naruto’s best case scenario, they had their own rooms, filled with things they liked. Naruto would linger in his doorway to tell him stories he’d already heard, that he didn’t care about — and still Sasuke would listen because he enjoyed hearing his voice. Enjoyed being near. That was Naruto’s best case scenario.
But in his own — well.
One room, for both of them. A house at the outskirts of the village. Waking up from Naruto snoring, or drooling or whatever. Naruto’s hand on his hip, sleepily pushing his morning hard-on against him, Sasuke staying in place just to enjoy it a bit longer. Waking the other up by kissing his neck, or pulling him closer — blowing him. Then, with Naruto’s taste still on his lips, drinking morning coffee or tea or juice in the garden or on the veranda or in their kitchen — maybe, in bed. Round two. Naruto fully awake this time.
Sasuke pushed his plate away.
He didn’t ask Naruto what the best that could happen was.
He had no right to judge Naruto for being afraid of change.
“It’s not like I’ll suddenly stop coming over if you live in another house,” he said, instead.
Naruto snorted sarcastically. “Yeah, you already almost never come over.”
Sasuke. Stupid. Stupid or maybe just lost in his own fantasy, said: “If you didn’t live in this shit apartment, maybe I’d come over more often. You know. To rest.”
“Oh—” Naruto’s voice sounded soft. Surprised. “So you—”
Sasuke got up. “I’m getting more coffee.”
“No!” Naruto shot up as well. “Uh, you’re still healing. Let me. Let me get it. It’s fine.”
Slowly, he sat back down. Naruto didn’t really know how to make a proper coffee, but then again it wasn’t that he wanted a coffee that much anyway. He just, very much, did not want to be having this conversation anymore.
And he’d probably drink whatever Naruto would give to him anyway.
Sasuke left the next day. He tried to do so while Naruto was still asleep, even though he had kind of promised he wouldn’t. He scribbled out a note saying nothing much — not where he’d be going, not for how long he’d be gone — on the back of their grocery receipt from the day before. Will be back, he wrote. That was more than what he would have done before. It was fine.
He was not about to start feeling guilty now. For fuck’s sake.
Once he got close to the door, though, he heard Naruto’s tired voice from the bedroom. “Be safe.” He simply said. Awake, just barely, and somehow not trying to stop him from leaving.
Sasuke turned around. Naruto was lying on his side, looking at him from his bedroom. His hair was ruffled, his eyes thick from his sleep. He still had the blankets up to his chin.
Maybe if Sasuke kept on leaving, one day Naruto would stop trying to get him to come back at all.
“Sure,” he mumbled. A stupid request to be agreeing to.
It wasn’t that he’d forgotten about their conversation, when he got back. Nor was it that he had forgotten how well Naruto could pull through once he’d set his mind to something. So maybe it was his lack of chakra. Blood loss. Maybe it was the fact his eyes were stinging and his head was hurting like a bitch. Maybe it was the fact that he was annoyed and sick of these bounty hunters out for his head when he wasn’t even really doing anything.
Whatever it was. He tried to open the door to Naruto’s apartment, and it was closed. Then, he was stupid enough to not realise, and tried the window. He undid the lock from the outside, silently irritated that Naruto lived in such a shittily secured place, and slipped inside.
Then, he realised he was standing in an empty apartment.
How long had it been? Two weeks, maybe three. It wasn’t his longest leave by far. Maybe quite the opposite, with the way his body ached for this stupid stupid sense of familiarity. For bickering, having breakfast together, Naruto’s snoring, god.
His first instinct — worry, not a second thought about the flattening this joke of a village — was replaced by his own words ringing in the back of his mind. If you didn’t live in this shit apartment, maybe I’d come over more often.
He guessed he shouldn’t have underestimated the things Naruto would do to get him into this village. He couldn’t help but feel a little glad as he slipped out of the empty apartment and closed the window.
He’d never be coming there again.
It wasn’t hard to find Naruto. The idiot never kept his chakra suppressed when in the village. His new house was surprisingly far away from his old apartment. Near the outskirts of the village. A good, quiet neighbourhood, forever ruined by Naruto’s loud voice. The house wasn’t old, per se, but it was definitely inspired by a traditional minka style. It was built half a metre above the ground and instead of the dark wood, the design was light brown. While the windows were made of glass and not paper, all of the doors seemed to be sliding doors.
Sasuke stood in front of the house for a while, appreciating Naruto’s choice, until the door was slammed open clumsily. “You’re here!”
Sasuke nodded, stupidly. Naruto was looking excited, his grin bright and red on his cheeks. He also looked tired. “You weren’t at the apartment.”
“No, I— eh— I’m here now! I mean. I got this house. Last week.” Everyone and their mum in this damn village was probably delighted that Naruto finally decided to move. No wonder they had assigned him his — well, beautiful house.
“Hn,” Sasuke nodded, then moved to enter the house.
Naruto stepped aside, his eyes not leaving Sasuke’s face. Looking for a reaction.
On the inside, the house looked much like he’d expected. Wooden and light. It had a big kitchen, even though Naruto would probably never use it. Naruto had brought his plants and they were standing in the corners of the room. Back in his apartment it had seemed like he’d had a lot of them, here they mainly gained attention because Naruto had absolutely no furniture yet.
He hadn’t brought his couch, not his bed, not his shitty cutlery.
The only thing there was their genin picture, standing on the kitchen counter.
“I just came back from a mission,” Naruto said, as if to explain the emptiness. He had somehow still found time to move. “They were happy, y’know. That I asked if there were available houses. Showed me a few. Some way too big. Uhm — yeah — I got to choose.”
He had chosen well.
Sasuke hummed to tell him that he’d heard — he hoped Naruto could hear the appreciation in it — then he sat down in the middle of the room. Tired. “Was your mission tough?”
“Oh, uh, yeah a little.”
“Yeah, you look like shit.” He looked bright and sunkissed, but there was some colour drained from his face, his eyes a little unfocussed.
“Yeah thanks asshole, always great to see you too. Have you ever moved right after a mission? Do you know how tiring that is?”
He let himself fall down on the floor, in the middle of the room, looking at the ceiling. “The last time I moved I was not able to feel anything, to be completely honest.” There was a rice paper lamp hanging from the ceiling, probably came with the house.
Naruto fell into silence, sighed, and then sat down next to him. “Fair,” he mumbled. He let himself fall down next to Sasuke, looking at the ceiling as well. “There’s a lot to think about now.”
“Mhm, but do you like it?”
“Hm, the house? I guess. Do you like it?” He did.
He would have chosen something like this, if he’d ever get to live somewhere. If he’d ever allow himself to make something into a home. He could pretend he wouldn’t, but there’s no point. The house was beautiful. “This isn’t about me.”
Naruto turned to him. “Why not? I tried to think of what you would like, when picking.”
Sasuke frowned. “Why?”
“Because— well, of course I wanted a house where you would like to be. You know, for if you’re around.” He said it as if it was the most normal thing in the world. It was far from a normal thing to do, though. “But also. You asked me, but I don’t know what I want, what I like. So I just — was the first thing I thought of when choosing.”
Sasuke hummed.
He didn’t dare to look at Naruto, felt his eyes on him.
“Does it have a bath?”
“Oh, uh, yeah.”
Sasuke nodded, looked at Naruto. A big mistake. Naruto’s eyes were hopefully and mercilessly blue as always. He was nervous. “I guess I would have picked his house.”
Naruto, for a second, didn’t know what to say. His face brightened. As if suddenly he wasn’t so tired anymore.
“I might stay for a few days. To rest,” Sasuke added.
In that empty house, Sasuke ran himself a bath. The bathroom was big and traditional. There were small mirrors hanging on the wall, two of them, and stools standing opposite of them. A shower head. Buckets. A square bathtub that could fit two people.
Sasuke waited for it to fill, Naruto still laying on the floor in the other room. He didn’t quite know what to do, what to feel. He watched the bathtub, listening to the sound of the water clattering.
He let himself soak in the warm water. He calmed down to an extent that it scared him a little. His head in the water, his hair floating around him. All the sounds around him fading away. The world was quiet.
When he lifted his head, he heard Naruto walking around in the living room. He slowly pressed the water from his hair and rubbed it from his eyes. It had been a while since he’d taken a real bath.
Not a hurried one in an onsen.
Not a loud one with Suigetsu and Juugo.
One where he could stay for as long as he wanted. Until his muscles had turned soft and his fingertips wrinkled. Until he was warm enough to think of his mum running a bath, his father going in first and him and Itachi after. His mother throwing in another bucket of warm water, scrubbing his back. Right until Itachi was too old and Sasuke didn’t quite get why teenagers couldn’t take baths with their family. He tried not to linger on that memory.
Tried not to think of Itachi at that age.
How young he’d really been.
Naruto knocked on the door. Way too loudly, he told him through the door that he was going out for groceries. “You need anything? Store’s almost closing.”
Comforting. He didn’t know how else to describe it. “Coffee. Eggs. Some fruit.”
“I don’t have a pan yet.”
“Coffee and fruit, then”
“Okay!”
“Oh, and Naruto—”
“Yeah?!”
“Shampoo.”
In the evening, they lay together on Naruto’s stupid small futon after fighting about who was going to sleep on the floor in a travelling sleeping bag — giving up after a while. Naruto didn’t fall asleep. Sasuke didn’t either, but there was less of a surprise in that.
Sasuke turned around to find Naruto looking at him. “You’re not sleeping.”
Naruto kept his hands close to him, pressed to his chest, almost as if he was afraid to touch Sasuke. They had never been good at touching without fighting. Or without hurting each other. That much he knew. Laying next to Naruto in this empty house — empty house that Naruto had gotten because it reminded him of Sasuke — Sasuke felt willing to try.
“It’s different here,” Naruto answered.
He guessed that much was true. It was different. Naruto had needed that change. He might not have wanted it as much, though. It wouldn’t be the first time he didn’t want what was best for him. He wanted Sasuke to be here too, regardless. Stupid.
“Hm— Is that a bad thing?”
“No. I mean, you’re here.”
So that outweighed.
“Yeah.”
Naruto was quiet for a little while. “How… how do you make a place feel like it’s yours?”
Sasuke looked down at their bodies, the blanket low but covering them both. He wished he could give an honest answer, but he had no fucking clue. He remembered his mother bringing in flowers sometimes. He remembers how it had smelled of miso in the morning. How they lit incense after incense on the engawa to keep bugs away on summer nights.
Was that what made it theirs?
He remembered being allowed to pick something to put on his own wall, as a child. He didn’t even remember what it was that he chose. What had he liked, back then? Maybe a shinobi he looked up to, or a drawing of a cat?
“The plants are a start,” he offered uselessly. Then he asked: “Isn’t there something you want?”
“Hm, I don’t know. Not really. What would I want?”
“Anything really.” Sasuke felt a little hopeless. ”Chopsticks with frogs on them. A poster of the Tale of a Gutsy Ninja. A kotatsu with an orange blanket. ”
Then, Naruto’s eyes were on him, wide and meaningful. Still— very still. Naruto had gotten awfully quiet. Slowly, Sasuke turned his gaze away, looking at the empty wall.
Naruto’s eyes didn’t leave him for even a second though. Nor did he speak up.
Sasuke considered pretending to fall asleep, if it went on longer. Not that he’d fool Naruto, but maybe he’d let him be.
After a little while, though, Naruto spoke up: “You know me really well.”
Sasuke didn’t turn back. He felt stupid. “Well. You never shut up.”
“I guess that’s true.”Naruto laughed. “You think they have that?”
“Hm?”
“Like, a kotatsu with an orange blanket?”
“Probably.”
“Or like, maybe I can get a drawing of ramen.”
“Mhm.”
“That might—” Naruto grinned. Sasuke turned back to him slowly. “Yeah I might actually enjoy that a lot.”
For some fucking reason that wasn’t enough, even though he knew Naruto was happier now. That he was able to sleep, probably. He reached out and laid his index finger against Naruto’s hand, close to his chest. Naruto looked at it, his smile fading a little but the delight still in his eyes — the red still on his cheeks.
Naruto wrapped his fingers around Sasuke’s, holding it much like a baby would hold a grown up. Somehow Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to mind. He could feel Naruto’s heart beating.
“My house used to smell of incense and homemade food.”
“Oh,” Naruto breathed out, surprised.
“Yeah.” He wondered why he even said it.
Sasuke pulled their hands closer to him, automatically pulling Naruto in as well. Their arms pressed against each other, their knees bumping. Slowly, he closed his eyes, pretending that he could fall asleep like this.
No way he would anytime soon. Not with his body burning like this.
Naruto must have been able to feel his heartbeat too.
He wasn’t fooling anyone.
“Go to sleep,” he told Naruto anyway, still with his eyes closed.
Unlike him. Naruto didn’t have to be told twice. He scooched in even closer to Sasuke, until Sasuke could feel his breath, and then he blacked out.
Even though he came to Naruto’s house to rest, the next day he found himself hauling a kotatsu through the city. Of course, the kotatsu wasn’t heavy, per se, and if they had really wanted to, they could have used a jutsu. Still, they ended up carrying it together. Clumsily. People watching them.
The orange blanket had been no problem. The lady almost talked Naruto into a flower pattern, for fuck’s sake. Naruto had declined, after some slightly threatening frowns from Sasuke. He wanted Naruto to make his own choices, but for fuck’s sake. She said it was their most beautiful one, Naruto had said. Of course, it was also their most expensive one. Sasuke kind of wanted to kill him.
They’d gone for a chequered blue and orange one.
Over the next few days, the house got filled up quickly. They bought a pan together, with some complaining from Naruto saying you said you wanted a good one, but I have no idea which ones are good! Most of the stuff was bought by Naruto, though. Going into the city as if he couldn’t quite stop. He bought nothing useful. Not really. The soap was useful, he guessed. Then he also got slippers for inside, slippers for in the garden, slippers for in the bathroom. He got a poster with ramen on it, true to his word. He got bowls, every single one in a different colour. Eight of them, for some reason. Maybe Naruto dreamed of having all of his friends over. Not that he could cook to save a life. He bought chopsticks, not with frogs on them but with orange stripes. He got tea cups. Sasuke felt like he might have gotten those for him; they were made from ceramics in a traditional style, coloured a dark blue.
It seemed like Naruto had made up his mind about making the house his .
And as per usual, as soon as he had put his mind to something, nothing was able to stop him.
Sasuke stayed inside a lot. Moving from the kotatsu — really too warm for this time of the year — to the engawa, where he read his books or researched the people he had been tracking over the last few months. Sasuke declined Naruto’s every day request to go to Ichiraku, not keen on meeting every single person they knew on the way there, but agreed to eating take-out at home.
He ran Naruto a bath.
Realised that no one had ever done so for him before.
He let his heart clench. Ignored it, instead of running away like he usually would.
Naruto got bored in the bath, of course. He kept on trying to talk to him through the door, where Sasuke could barely hear him. After a while, Sasuke frustratedly opened the door to a crack and left it that way. Naruto laughed, went on with his story. Sasuke hummed along with it — Naruto didn’t need more encouragement than that to keep going.
By day three, he realised that he was back to his normal strength. There was no need for him to rest anymore. His chakra was back to normal and his muscles didn’t hurt any more than they usually did. He wasn’t healing — he was lingering.
By day four he realised he’d never been in Konoha for this long since — well. Since coming back? Since leaving? Two nights had been the most he’d ever slept in Naruto’s apartment, and every single time he did he was chakra deprived, bleeding out and not in any state to think much about where he was in the first place.
He’d never admit it out loud, but on some of those nights he had needed Naruto for a sense of safety. Some of those nights, he just needed to make sure Naruto wouldn’t disappear. That someone was there for him. That there was a place for him to return to, even if it was just for those two nights.
Those nights had been the worst ones.
He’d been weaker than on the ones where he was bleeding all over Naruto’s floor.
Once day five came around, he was woken up by an Anbu appearing in the corner of their room. Sasuke felt the presence, let his sharingan spiral alive and had his katana to the Anbu’s throat by the time Naruto woke up. Naruto stopped him just as fast. Of course.
Standing like that, he felt awfully aware of how they’d been laying.
Still on one futon, even though they could have definitely bought another one. Naruto had had his around Sasuke, keeping him from falling off the futon completely, and he’d had his bare leg wrapped around both Sasuke and the sheets.
Now, he was holding Sasuke back from his own stupid murder instincts.
Sasuke debated if scaring someone with a katana to the throat was a fair repayment for imposing. He guessed so. He hadn’t actually done anything to hurt the guy.
“The Hokage requests your presence in ten. It’s an emergency. Uzumaki, sir.”
Naruto nodded, then eyed Sasuke to tell him to drop his weapon already. “A mission? Do you know for how long?”
“That’s classified, sir.” The Anbu looked at Sasuke.
Sasuke rolled his eyes, dropping his sword and walking away from the both of them. He was not about to have a discussion with an Anbu member about Konoha’s stupid rules. It was still dark out. Four in the morning, maybe. If it couldn’t wait until the sun was up, the mission probably wouldn’t be pretty. It wouldn’t be a one that took a day or two either.
“Okay, yeah. I’ll be there. Thanks,” Naruto mumbled as the Anbu disappeared as if he’d never been there.
Sasuke had never stayed while Naruto left.
He had never watched Naruto go, the way Naruto had watched him go time and time again. Or, the way Naruto had refused to see him go time and time again.
Now he watched Naruto spur into action. While he hadn’t forgotten Naruto was a shinobi on active duty, it had been a while since he’d been there to see it. Usually, when Naruto was proving himself strong, they had been the ones fighting.
Naruto took off his sleeping shirt, pulled on his harnass — looking, well fuck, hot — then slipped on his orange sweater the way he always did. Sasuke watched him, sitting on the futon, his katana resting next to him again.
“So—” Naruto mumbled.
“No need,” Sasuke replied. Not like Naruto knew anything more than he did.
“Don’t be an asshole.” Naruto said as he clicked his weapons onto his belt. “I wanted to say, you dick, that you can stay here. I can leave the key for you and just get in through the window when I get back.”
“I’m not going to stay here.”
Naruto sighed. He knew darn well they didn’t have the time to fight about this. “It’s just a possibility. For you.” Naruto grabbed his headband and bound it around his head. Sasuke knew that he was staring up at him. “I didn’t get this house just for me, you know.”
He knew.
He knew that had been Naruto’s intention.
That didn’t mean the house was suddenly his.
Sasuke walked with him to the door. The sun was slowly coming up, just barely, and the house was still dark. The neighbourhood was quiet, though there were some birds already awake.
Unnecessarily lingering at the door, Naruto said: “Okay — I really need to go.” Instead of turning around and walking away, though, Naruto stepped in closer to him, lingered more. He moved awkwardly as if he was using his own body for the first time. “Um, so you can stay here. If you want. But yeah, you can also leave if you want. Just come back. I — this has been. Well—”
Sasuke watched Naruto stumble over his worlds, definitely becoming late for his mission.
“What is it?” he asked, pinning Naruto in place with a look. “What do you want?”
“I—” Naruto glanced at him, then at the house, back at him.
“If you say I don’t know again I will literally stab you and drop your body off at the Hokage’s office.”
“ Jesus, ” Naruto breathed out. “Can’t you be normal for once?”
“No. Can’t you say what the hell you want for once?”
Naruto looked away. “Just give me a second! Asshole.”
“Just tell me. What you want.” Sasuke emphasised it. Because he was sick of Naruto saying I don’t know. I don’t know. What do you want? Like he was not allowed to want anything. That’s what Sasuke told himself, at least.
The real reason was that Naruto was looking at him like they wanted the same thing. Even though that had seemed impossible. Was impossible. Even though Sasuke had not really dared to think of a world where Naruto wanted him too. Not like that.
Still, right now Naruto’s eyes were telling him everything he wanted to hear.
They moved from looking into Sasuke’s eyes, to dropping to his mouth. Stumbling over his words. Red in the neck. So Sasuke asked again, not able to help the fondness that slipped into his voice: “What is it, dead last?”
“Oh fuck this—” Naruto mumbled.
The next thing he knew, Naruto had his hand wrapped around his neck, pressing their lips together soft but clumsily. The touch of their lips was like a question. I want this, Naruto was telling him; fucking finally. Do you want it too? Well, there was no need to ask. Anything. Anything Naruto wanted he could take.
If this was it, well—
Sasuke grabbed Naruto by his blonde hair and deepened the kiss. Naruto made a pleased sound against his mouth, parting his lips. Naruto was too excited, too clumsy, bumping their noses, and Sasuke wouldn’t want it any other way.
He slowly felt Naruto’s hand move from his neck to his cheek, a thumb caressing his cheekbone, temple. Fingers slipping into his hair.
Sasuke came home right there, on the doorstep of that light wooden house.
Then, he ripped his hands away from Naruto’s hair — grabbed a kunai from Naruto’s belt and let his sharingan spiral alive.
Naruto didn’t seem surprised. He had noticed the Anbu behind him too. He didn’t even turn to look at him, just eyed Sasuke with amusement.
Sasuke watched the Anbu from behind Naruto’s shoulder.
“Uzumaki,” They said. Sasuke would give them credit for keeping their voice steady, though there was no mistaking the fear he heard underneath it. They watched Sasuke carefully, maybe hoping Naruto would do something about the threatening look they were receiving. They should have known better, done their homework.
They didn’t have to say anything else, though. The message was already clear: There was an emergency and Naruto was late. For which he would definitely get scolded later on.
Sasuke hoped he’d find it worth it.
That wasn’t his problem, though. He was no longer a Konoha shinobi.
Naruto didn’t look at the Anbu. He was still looking at Sasuke with bright eyes, fucking delighted, as he said: “Yeah. I’m coming right away, so sorry about that.”
Then, shooting Sasuke his biggest grin — red in the neck, his cheeks — Naruto body flickered away. Leaving Sasuke with his heart in his throat and Naruto’s kunai still in his hand.
Probably worth the scolding, then.
He didn’t stay, but he stayed long enough.
The house was quiet, without Naruto’s snoring and endless stupid stories. He found himself enjoying it more than he’d expected. The house. He found himself coming back to the memory of Naruto’s lips on his. The hand in his hair.
He moved to the open kitchen and boiled water. Tired, he made his coffee in one of the nice dark blue cups Naruto had bought. The smell slowly filled the house.
He hated not knowing when he would come back. Especially now. Hated himself for caring so much in the first place. He guessed that it served him right. Finally, he had stayed long enough to know how Naruto felt all the damn time.
He drank his coffee at the kotatsu, glanced around at their best attempt of trying to understand what made a house, a home. Was it that feeling, the feeling of being at home somewhere, that had made Naruto bold enough to kiss him?
Or had it been the fact that he had stayed?
Would Naruto have done so earlier if Sasuke had stayed before? Would that have made him stay, or would it have made him run even sooner? More often? Would it have made him stay away forever.
He felt like running now. Not coming back.
Sasuke slowly sipped his coffee. It was the kind that he liked. The one that he’d told Naruto to get. The dangerous feeling of this house being his nestled in his chest. Or, maybe that wasn’t right. The feeling wasn’t as dangerous as it was scary.
And this house wasn’t his as much as it was theirs.
And it being theirs was scarier than it being his.
That’s what he stayed long enough for. To realise that. He stayed until the sun was up. Until he had finished his coffee and eaten one of the peaches they had bought. He threw the rest of them away because didn’t want anything rotting in the kitchen while they were away.
He supposed that the fact he even gave a fuck said enough.
He took the garbage out. Locked the door. Took the key with him because he had no clue where else to leave it. By the time the sun was standing high in the sky, the village gates were behind him. Naruto’s kunai was hanging between his own. The key was burning in the inner pocket of his yukata shirt.
He forced himself to stay away. He hated how aware of it he was too.
It wasn’t that he was doing nothing. He found hide-outs, wrote down what he hadn’t known before. He destroyed what had to be destroyed. He dropped terrified kids with strong bloodlines off at village gates, or, if there were any, orphanages. Sometimes he answered some of their questions. Most of the time he didn’t. He got attacked by assholes too invested in their bingo books. Found and fought idiots who were too invested in getting more power through those strong bloodlines, or — worse – through the strongest chakras.
He left their bodies somewhere where they would be found easily.
He tried not to think of how many days had passed. He figured Naruto’s mission would take two or three weeks. He decided to go back once the third one had passed.
In between nightmares, these days, he remembered how Naruto had held his face to kiss him. Right before waking up, he had stupid dreams of Naruto laying next to him. It seemed like he was able to hear his snoring, right until the moment when he woke up. Then it was gone.
He returned to the village by the second day of the third week. Frustrated with himself. With the fact that he couldn’t make Naruto wait any longer. That he couldn’t wait longer himself.
In the village he couldn’t sense Naruto’s chakra.
Still, he went on, avoiding everyone and going straight for the house.
He took their key from his pocket, turned the lock. It was his first time not breaking in. He wished he hadn’t returned. He wished he’d never convinced Naruto to move. He wished he didn’t fucking care so much.
Naruto wasn’t inside.
The house was the way they had left it.
There was a stupid ramen poster on the wall. Stupid chopsticks laying on the counter. It had their stupid blue and orange kotatsu. It had the book Sasuke finished laying inside on the wooden floor.
It was the way they left it. It wasn’t empty at all.
Sasuke turned around, shoved the key back into his pocket and closed the front door behind him. This time, he avoided no one while walking through the village. He walked from the house, straight through the centre of Konoha, to the Hokage’s tower.
He found the tower easily. At first he considered sneaking in but decided against it. He walked in through the front door.
And then there were about fifteen Anbu on his neck. He had kind of seen that one coming.
Fighting them was probably not the fastest way to get where he wanted to be, but he wasn’t opposed either. He glanced left, right, above him. There were about six more.
He could take them if he needed to.
“I wouldn’t finish that thought,” an amused voice said, right in front of him. He wasn’t sure if he was talking to him or to the anbu.“Sasuke, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Kakashi-sensei.”
His old teacher smiled at him. He looked tired. Weird in his Hokage cloak. The position didn’t fit him one bit. He wasn’t about to have small talk about his inauguration here, though. “It’s been a while. I felt that you’d been hanging around in the village lately.”
“When is Naruto coming back?”
Kakashi chuckled. “I’m afraid that’s classified and you’re not a Konoha shinobi right now. Yeah, really sorry about that.” He turned around. Was he dismissing him? That easily? “Care for a cup of tea with your old teacher?”
Ah. So Sasuke was going to get some information out of him.
Sasuke followed. The anbu slowly stepped back, disappearing when Kakashi dismissed them casually with a wave of the hand. He closed the door to his office behind them. There, much to his frustration, Kakashi actually started making some tea. Sasuke sat down and looked around. The office hadn’t changed one bit since he’d last been here. The biggest difference was the pile of Icha Icha novels laying on the desk.
“I saw that Naruto finally moved. That’s good,” Kakashi said.
Sasuke hummed in agreement.
“I also heard the group that had been trying to get to the kyuubi chakra was miraculously found dead. That’s good to hear too.”
“Mhm.”
Kakashi chuckled sarcastically. “Always fun to have a chat with you.” He placed a cup of tea in front of him, a saucer with a spoon on top of it. “Oh wait, let me get you some sugar with that.”
Sasuke frowned. Kakashi knew he didn’t like anything sweet.
Still, Kakashi placed two cubes of sugar on his saucer. Then, pulling away, he started talking again. “Sasuke.” He tapped the desk once. “Try not to hurt him more than you already have.” Tapped twice.
Sasuke picked up the cup and drank the tea in one go.
Naruto was coming back in two days.
“Thank you, sensei.” He placed the cup back on the desk and got up, turned to the door.
“Oh, and Sasuke.” Kakashi stopped him. “It’s good to have you in the village. Come by whenever.”
He didn’t know how to answer that. He hadn’t really talked to anyone here. He found himself not minding it as much as he thought he would. He nodded once, then turned back to the door.
“Oh and one last thing.” Now, Sasuke rolled his eyes. Kakashi was annoying him on purpose. No surprises there, though. “Please stop threatening Anbu who are just doing their job.”
Sasuke opened the door. “Make them knock next time, then.”
So two days.
Sasuke got food, opened the door to the garden, pulled a washing line on the veranda and hung out his travelling clothes. Two days. He wrote down all the details on the group he’d taken out. With how many they had been, what their jutsu had been like, every single thing they knew about Naruto. He considered handing the information to Kakashi. Kept it to himself for now.
At night, the house was quiet. During day time, people worked in their garden. After five, kids started coming home, talking loudly until their parents hushed them. Sasuke made rice and ate it with tomato and egg, his legs dangling from the veranda.
He read a book in the evening. The stars were not as bright in the village. The moon wasn’t shy about showing herself, though.
He went to sleep early, hoping his usual nightmares wouldn’t make him regret it.
In the middle of the night the bedroom window opened quietly. Sasuke shot awake and then — then he felt a familiar comforting chakra fill the room. A chakra that felt like a breeze on a hot day, a warm like a fireplace in the winter at the same time. He turned around on the futon, watched as Naruto jumped from the windowpane into the room.
“You’re here,” Naruto breathed out.
“You’re early,” Sasuke answered.
Naruto grinned. “Yeah, I sensed that you were in Konoha.”
“So you, what—”
“Got the mission done a bit faster,” Naruto finished proudly. Sasuke stared at him. He could only imagine what that meant. He was glad he wasn’t the one Naruto had been up against. Glad he wasn’t on Naruto’s team, having to keep up with him trying to run back twice as fast. He was, more than any of those things, glad Naruto was still unapologetic and a little insane when it came to seeing him. “I also might have skipped reporting that I’m back.”
“They’ll survive.”
“Yeah.” Naruto stepped in a little closer. “Hey, y’know, I missed you.”
“Mhm”
Naruto grinned even brighter now. He slipped his weapons off, kicked his shoes into the corner of the room. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was distracting as hell.”
“That’s nothing new.”
“I— asshole. It— I— this was—”
Ah. He’d definitely been thinking about the same thing Sasuke had been thinking about day and night. “You’re the one who kissed me right before leaving,” Sasuke said, keeping his voice steady, just to see how much he could rile Naruto up.
Naruto blushed. “I mean— I— yeah I did! But you— you definitely—”
“Wanted that.”
Naruto became very still. “I mean. I hope so.”
“I did. What about you?” Sasuke asked.
“Huh?”
“What do you want?”
Naruto laughed — finally getting what the hell Sasuke was on about. Remembering what Sasuke had asked him before they had kissed. He laughed and slipped his vest off as well.
“You’re a jerk, you know that,” he said. Still, he lit up like the sun itself.
“Yet here you are.”
“Yeah,” Naruto mumbled. “I want to touch you.”
“Mhm. Do it then.”
Naruto stared at him for a little while, as if the words didn’t quite reach his brain. Or as if his brain didn’t connect the words to his body yet. Then, too slowly, Naruto slipped his hands into Sasuke’s yukata, pushing it open. He slowly caressed his ribs, his hip to his armpit. “This is so amazing.”
“What? My chest?” He deadpanned.
“No, you fucker, I meant coming home to you.”
“Mhm, sure. Kiss me again?”
Naruto didn’t have to be asked twice. Though he was still smiling brightly when he brought their lips together, clanking their teeth. Whatever. Sasuke didn’t mind that Naruto was clumsy. He actually didn’t mind anything right now. He felt Naruto smile against his lips. He wanted Naruto’s hands everywhere.
He parted his lips, let Naruto kiss him breathlessly.
When he tried touching Naruto, his fingers bumped against his harness. The harness that Sasuke had enjoyed seeing him leave in before. He didn’t want Naruto to have anything on right now, though. He pulled back. “Take that shit off.”
“Okay, okay yeah.” Naruto pulled it over his head, threw it into the same corner where he’d left his shoes. Sasuke gripped Naruto’s skin and pulled him in closer as soon as he could.
Naruto had by now managed to push open Sasuke's entire yukata, had done so as if his life depended on it, and now pushed down Sasuke’s underwear.
Then, suddenly, he seemed to think about what he was doing. “I— shit — can I blow you?”
His hands went straight to Naruto’s hair. “Fuck, yes.”
“Ah yeah? Can I—”
“You’re having great ideas today. Just do anything you want.”
Naruto laughed. “I always have great ideas. Couldn’t you have worded that a little—”
“ Naruto. ” He was killing him. Sasuke needed him right now. How the hell had he fallen for this idiot. Sasuke was so hard and Naruto was—
Laughing brightly.
He knew how he’d fallen for him.
It hadn’t been quick. It had been slow and painful and it had been the only light in his life. Naruto was. Being in love with him was. He was still the light. Still laughing at him even after everything.
He was bright now, smiling against his lips and kissing him apologetically as he mumbled. “Okay okay, I’m on it.” The only person who’d joke around with him right before moving down to kiss him on his stomach.
On his tights.
Then, placing his lips around his cock.
Sasuke was incredibly, undeniably gone for him. He had been. He could barely remember when it had started. Was it when they were kids and he realised they understood each other? Or was it when he realised that Naruto wasn’t about to give him up? Was it after he’d lost everything and Naruto somehow remained?
Sasuke’s vision turned white as Naruto slid his tongue over the base of his cock. He gripped Naruto by the hair tightly, trying to breathe calmly. His hands moved up and down with the rhythm Naruto was keeping.
Sasuke tried to get his brain back into his body but every touch was a surprise. Pleasant. Fucking amazing. Naruto wasn’t shy. He had never been. He tried to take all of Sasuke into his mouth, gripping his tights while he did so.
Sasuke hoped that his fingertips could leave bruises.
Naruto took the tip of Sasuke’s cock into his mouth, sucking while licking at the same time, experimentally. “Fucking hell—” Sasuke breathed out.
Naruto moaned out at the encouragement, taking Sasuke into his mouth all the way. He pressed his own cock, his hips, against the futon roughly. Maybe Naruto was enjoying this as much as Sasuke was. Fuck.
Sasuke pushed Naruto’s hair out of his face. He needed to see him. Naruto, noticing Sasuke looking at him, opened his eyes and looked up. Blue eyes. Fucking hell, those blue eyes drove him insane.
Sasuke took a fist full of Naruto’s hair. “Let me fuck your mouth—”
Naruto just moaned out, pressing his lips around his cock tightly. Sasuke saw that as enough of an answer. An undeniable yes. He held onto Naruto’s hair and pushed his hips up. Naruto moaned loudly, closing his eyes.
He hadn’t expected to ever see Naruto like this. He was so hot.
Sasuke thrusted into Naruto’s mouth, his vision becoming blurry. The inside of Naruto’s mouth was so warm, so fucking good. The sound of Naruto’s moans, muffled by his cock, went straight to Sasuke’s chest, tightening. Imploding.
He was gone.
He was in love.
“Oh god, fuck— I’m—” He pushed his eyes open. He didn’t want to miss Naruto looking like this. Naruto just moaned out louder and louder. He gripped Sasuke’s skin tighter. “Naruto—” He moaned.
Naruto understood him — always — and so he looked up at him with those blue eyes and Sasuke— hit his limit.
He started cumming with his hands still in Naruto’s hair. He watched as Naruto tried to swallow, got cum on his lips, on his cheek. Sasuke grabbed his cock, pulled himself against Naruto’s face, spreading his cum onto the tanned skin. Onto his wet lips.
And then he lay, panting, staring at Naruto like he wasn’t physically able to look away.
Naruto collapsed next to him, looked at him with wide eyes. His lips were bright red. There was cum on his cheek, slowly becoming softer dripping onto their pillow. Naruto looked at him like he couldn’t quite believe what had just happened.
“Fucking hell, Naruto—”
Naruto nodded. “Yeah, you can say that again.” His voice was hoarse, fucked out.
“Did you—”
“Just cum in my pants without being touched? Yes, asshole. I don’t know if you noticed but you’re hot as fuck.”
Sasuke laughed. God, he felt so light. Naruto stared at him like he’d just gone insane. Maybe that was fair. Sasuke didn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so freely either. Maybe he was going crazy.
“You’re laughing at my expense!” Naruto said. He was laughing too though. Fuck it. They were happy. They were joking. Naruto had just blown him away, quite literally.
Sasuke pushed him. “Fuck off, I love you.”
Oh.
Oh fuck. He had not meant for that to come out. Not now. Maybe not ever even, but definitely not here; joking around, both naked and dirty and half dressed.
But he had said it.
He’d meant it regardless. So he wasn’t about to take it back.
Naruto didn’t say anything either. He just stared at him with those bright, bright eyes, going into shock maybe. “Oh,” Naruto whispered.
Sasuke sat up. He had to take a shower. He was dirty as hell. Naruto was too. He could start the bath for them, even though it was midnight. Naruto must have been tired too, dirty from his mission. A bath would be good.
He moved to get up. Naruto, though, grabbed his hand. “Asshole, don’t run.”
“We’re dirty.”
“Sasuke— hey—”
Sasuke looked at him, fumbled, of course. Waited for Naruto to speak.
“I love you too,” Naruto whispered. “I love you more than anything in this entire world. I didn’t know what it was, for a long time. That feeling. I just knew I couldn’t miss you. That I couldn’t live without you. Also, I just really like you, you know. You make me happy and I think I get how you work. You get me. But I know what that means now. I’ve known for a while now. I’ve loved you all this time.”
“Mhm—”
“Yeah?”
Sasuke interlaced his fingers with Naruto’s, where he had been holding him back. “Yes.”
“So you’re not leaving?”
“I wasn’t leaving. I was going to run a bath.”
Naruto blushed. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“You have cum on your face.”
“Trust me, it’s not just on my face.”
“And you didn’t even wash up after your mission. Disgusting.”
Naruto pulled himself up by Sasuke’s hand. “Okay. Yeah, a bath then.”
The sun had just gone up when there was a knock at the door.
Naruto was laying spread out all over the futon. He had a leg wrapped around Sasuke, an arm too. He hugged him so close that Sasuke could barely move. At the sound of the knock, Sasuke turned. Naruto had his face pressed against the pillow, his mouth hanging wide open.
Sasuke couldn’t even bring himself to mind the stupid look. He just felt peaceful.
And last night had been — well. It had been everything he had never dared to think of. They had washed each other until the only signs of sex were the red marks on his tights. They had stood kissing, long and slow, in the middle of the bathroom while the bathtub filled up with warm water. Their bodies had fit together like puzzle pieces in the bathtub. In their bathtub. Naruto had washed his hair. When he was done Sasuke had pressed himself up close to Naruto’s body, letting himself rest in Naruto’s lap, kissing his wet neck slowly and biting down on it softly. Just because he wanted to. Wishing it would leave a mark.
Naruto had returned the favour, sucked at his neck, curiously.
He guessed the marks that Naruto had left on him were still bright red on his skin. He kind of hoped they’d never fade.
Another knock at the door. Right.
Sasuke ripped his eyes, then his body, away from Naruto. He pulled on his yukata and wondered who the hell even knew they lived here. Sakura, maybe? Or maybe Naruto had filled in a form somewhere. This person probably wasn’t here for him, but then again there was no way in hell he was about to wake Naruto up after his mission. After yesterday.
So he unlocked the door, shoved it open.
There, in front of the door, was an Anbu with a bird-like mask. He held out a page to him. “For Uzumaki. Hokage asks for him to report back.”
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, amused. An Anbu knocking, making themself known. Now that was unusual.
“Did the Hokage also command you to knock?” The Anbu didn’t say anything. He guessed that that was enough of an answer. He kind of wanted to laugh. Instead, though, he took the paper. “Will get this to him.”
With that, he shoved the door closed again and left the paper on the kotatsu. He slipped back into the bed. Naruto woke up, opened his arms for Sasuke to return to the same spot. “Hm, who was that?”
“Your report. No need to hurry with it.”
“Hm— okay, great.” Naruto snuggled his nose against Sasuke’s neck. “Stay here today?”
Sasuke brought his hands to Naruto’s cheeks, pulled back a little so he could look at him. Naruto opened his eyes, looked back at him with his tired, bright eyes. He blinked slowly.
Sasuke loved him. Slowly, he pressed his lips to Naruto’s.
His lips were warm. The room smelled of them.
“Wasn’t planning on leaving,” he mumbled.