Work Text:
Tubbo was exhausted after a long day of work.
He hated that he would have to work such long hours just so he and his two roommates could afford to live. Especially given the fact they also worked full-time minimum wage jobs and can barely afford a three-bedroom apartment with a kitchen and living area that sort of blend together.
He would’ve thought the three of them working could bring in more income, but unfortunately the cost of living was simply too much.
Tubbo pulled the jingling keys from his pocket and unlocked the door before pushing it in and stepping inside.
Immediately, Tubbo almost tripped over some blankets on the floor and nearly fell into the couch, causing him to curse silently under his breath.
“How many times do I have to tell them to put the blankets back on the couch?” He grumbled as he tossed the blanket over the back of the couch.
Tubbo took note of how quiet the house was, which meant that either his roommates were upstairs playing video games or out for the afternoon at the shops.
He knew their work schedule and they both had today off and were supposed to go shopping, so Tubbo hoped it would be the latter.
The small boy let out a contented sigh for the quiet and walked into the kitchen, making sure to step around the goat to open the fridge.
Wait.
Goat?
Tubbo quickly turned on his heels and blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing correctly.
He knew when he left for work this morning they did not have a goat sitting in their kitchen, how the hell did it even get here? He didn’t even know there were goats that lived near the big city the boys took residence in.
The goat looked up at Tubbo, chewing on an old dish rag before leaning forward to sniff the boy.
The brunette froze in place as he watched the goat. “Hey buddy… You’re a friendly little guy… right?” He asked hesitantly.
However, much to Tubbo’s dismay the goat dropped the rag and leaned up and bit onto the bottom of his shirt.
The boy let out a scream and jumped back, his shirt tearing a bit, before climbing onto the table.
He then heard two sets of footsteps running down the hall towards their kitchen.
The first face to appear was the tall blonde who took in the scene in front of him quickly, holding in his laughter as he saw his terrified friend standing on a table feet away from their new pet goat. Next, the tallest roommate peaked over, his white and black bangs falling into his face as he immediately knew what was going on.
“Tubbo!” Ranboo exclaimed nervously. “You’re home early…”
Tubbo shot him a look. “I am home at the exact time I said I would be home. Why the fuck do we have a goat in the kitchen!” He shouted.
Tommy put his hands on his hips and shook his head.
“Be nice! He has a name. It’s Henry.”
Tubbo grimaced but forced himself to speak through clenched teeth. “Okay, why is Henry here then?”
“Well-” Ranboo moved into the room so they could get a better look. “You see, we were out shopping and we were complaining about our small space and this old man overheard and told us he could help us fix our problem.”
“Okay… How does that relate to the goat?” Tubbo questioned.
“Oh!” Tommy butted in. “Well, obviously I was skeptical but Ranboo kept asking this man questions.”
“Actually that was you-”
“Quiet boob boy!” Tommy interrupted. “So, Ranboo was asking this guy how he could possibly fix our situation and he brought out a goat and said that if we have this amazing goat in our house we would have more space. I told Ranboo we should consult you first, but they guy said he was leaving town soon so this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. So, we bought the goat!”
Tubbo stood up straight on the table and looked at his roommates with a blank stare.
“You bought a goat because a strange man told you it would fix our space problem?”
“Yep!” Tommy exclaimed happily.
“In our defence he made a great point.” Ranboo said sheepishly.
“You do realize this is a scam right? I mean, the goat just made it so that there is less space within our house and now we have an entire extra mouth to feed. Please tell me you didn’t spend that much on it.”
“Well…” Ranboo looked away, knowing he was about to be yelled at.
“How much did you spend?” Tubbo asked flatly.
“Half our budget.” Tommy said.
Tubbo nearly jumped out of his own skin. “Half our food budget? Are you two stupid?”
Tommy huffed and looked at Ranboo. “I told you he wouldnt understand.”
Tubbo had to take a deep breath before he said what he needed to.
“Well, we cannot keep the goat.”
Tommy looked horrified. “What? Why?” He exclaimed.
“Because firstly, we do not have a barn or food for the goat, secondly we can't have a goat shitting wherever in the house and we do not have a backyard, and finally it's destroying our stuff! I mean look at my shirt!” Tubbo exclaimed, pulling his work shirt out to show the missing fabric chunk.
“We can’t just get rid of him.” Tommy whined.
Tubbo looked over at Ranboo who looked equally as sad and knew he couldn’t just give the goat to another stranger.
“Tommy, your dad lives on a farm now right? Because he likes having extensive land to build on right?”
Tommy nodded. “Yeah, why?”
“Do you think he would be happy to take Henry? Then you could at least go visit him when you visit your family.”
Tommy thought but nodded. “Yeah I don’t see him saying no. But are you sure he can’t live with us?”
Tubbo sighed. “Tommy, you and I both know that he will be much happier living on a farm than in a cramped apartment.”
Ranboo nodded. “I agree with Tubbo. As much as I don’t want to get rid of him, if he’s with Phil at least he can be happy.”
Tommy let out an exasperated breath but walked over to Henry and bent down, putting it.
“Henry,” He began, “What do you think? Would you rather live here in the apartment with me and Ranboo and go on awesome adventures, or live on a stinky old farm where you would live your life eating grass and… well whatever else goats do.”
Henry just stared up at Tommy, still chewing on the fabric from Tubbo’s shirt before looking to the door.
Tommy’s head fell in defeat. “Looks like he agrees with you too Tubso.”
The blonde then stood up and put his hands on his hips.
“I guess we gotta go to Phil’s farm to drop it off.”
“I’ll get the car.” Ranboo said, grabbing their keys and running downstairs and out the door.
Tommy grabbed the rope off the counter and attached it back around the goats neck. Once he was secured, Tubbo stepped off the table and walked to the door waiting for Tommy to bring his new goat.
Henry followed happily but once they got to the top of the stairs, he stopped.
Tommy looked confused and kept trying to pull the rope but the goat simply would not move. Tubbo walked behind it and tried to push but the goat decided to resist with all its might.
“What the hell?” Tubbo asked, baffled. “I thought it was cows that did not go down stairs. Goats should be able do stairs just fine.”
“Well he came up just fine!” Tommy argued.
“Well, cows go up stairs easily too, they just refuse to go down.” Tubbo pointed out. “Maybe goats are the same?”
Ranboo had come back by this point to see what was keeping them so long and just shook his head.
“No, goats don’t have issues going down stairs, he’s just being stubborn.” They said as he reached into their pocket and pulled out a carrot which caused the goat to immediately follow them down the stairs.
“See?” Ranboo grinned
Tommy and Tubbo both shared a look of defeat as they had easily spent 5 minutes trying to push the goat down the stairs when all he needed was a bribe.
They loaded the goat in the car, forcing Tommy to sit in the back with it, and drove off towards the farm.
It was an hour out of town, so the drive was pretty quiet, Tommy and the goat even ended up falling asleep on each other which provided a very quiet ride.
When they arrived, they got out of the car and were quickly greeted by Tommy’s older brother Techno who had decided to stay and tend to the farming so that Phil could focus on his buildings.
“Tommy! Tubbo! Ranboo! What a surprise. What brings you three around?” He questioned.
Before any could answer, a goat climbed out of the car and just looked at Techno.
“Oh. I see. Where did you get a goat?”
Tubbo just held up a hand. “Long story. But, we were hoping maybe you and Phil could use a goat addition to your farm.”
Techno walked over, looking over the goat.
“He seems to be in really good health which is surprising. I’m sure we can find some room.”
Tommy’s eyes lit up. “Really? Okay awesome! So his name is Henry and he gets all the ladies so if you have any lady goats he will definitely be the favoured man. He also loves carrots a lot and-”
Techno just put a hand on Tommy’s head and smiled.
“Why don’t you three come inside and we can discuss the goat’s needs over some food. You must be hungry as the drive from the city is quite far.”
The trio nodded and headed inside while Techno took Henry to their barn. When they walked inside, Phil was in the living room drawing out new blueprints for something to fill the back garden space.
He looked up, expecting to see Techno but was pleasantly surprised to see his youngest with his roommates.
“Oh! Tommy, I wasn’t expecting a visit from you today. What brings you down?”
“They bought a goat and tried to keep it in our apartment.” Tubbo explained.
Phil seemed confused but decided not to question it further as he knew his son.
“Well, since you are here why don’t I make you boys some food and we can catch up. I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long.”
Tommy and the others all smiled.
They spent the day at Phil’s and eventually had to head back once it started getting dark. The drive was quiet, Tubbo couldn’t help but miss the goat a little but he knew it was for the best.
When they got back Tommy opened the apartment and walked in, a wide grin on his face as he walked around.
“Look how much space we have!” He gasped.
“Tommy I don’t think-” Tubbo started but Ranboo followed him in and agreed.
“I can actually move around the kitchen now!” Ranboo smiled widely.
Tubbo really did think about arguing that it was all a placebo effect, the apartment was not in fact bigger but instead they had just removed a large animal from the middle of their kitchen.
However, both his roommates seemed to be happy with the outcome and clearly felt like geniuses so, Tubbo figured he would let them have this one.
“Yeah, you know what. We do have more space. Thank you guys.” He smiled.
Tommy and Ranboo both high fived in victory, knowing they had won.
“However, if you ever spend our money carelessly like that again I will kick you both out and bring the goat back.”
The duo put their hands up in surrender.
“Fine.” Tommy huffed in a playful nature.
Tubbo did not know how he would continue to live with them, but he did admit it always made for an interesting story.