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Growing up, Red was always reminded of why exactly her mother picked out her name. Red was the color of hate and rage. It was the color of a roaring fire that tore through everything in its wake. It signaled danger and brought upon fear into those who saw it. But most importantly, it was the color of the blood that poured from the open necks of those who chose to disobey the Queen of Hearts.
Every time Red was forced to sit through a beheading, she would watch as the red liquid puddled underneath the body. It stained the skin, making it match her namesake. She would fight the urge to vomit. She tried to calm her gut's impulses, but she would fail every time. She would run off to some nearby bush, hurl, and be dragged by card soldiers back to her disapproving mother.
The Queen would shake her head, "Red, one day you will have to make these calls. You must show the kingdom what happens to those who disobey. Their blood will stain the pathways the citizens walk on. Their last remains serve as a reminder to follow orders."
Red would stare at the cleanest spot she could find on the ground. There normally weren't many to choose from, so sometimes she would have to settle on a spot with a small splatter. She wouldn't speak, rather she would just nod her head and hope her mother would move on. She never did.
"Your name is another reminder. They'll see the red in the streets and be reminded of their future queen. They'll know that their disobedience will only result in punishment from her royal highness. Red isn't just a color or a name. It's a warning. It's a threat. It's you."
Red would nod again as her mother caressed her cheek, "Now go grab a mop and clean up this mess. Being around the blood will make you less...squeamish."
And so a mop would be forced into Red's hands as her mother walked away with her head held high, as if she hadn't just watched the life be taken away from somebody right in front of her. Red didn't have a lot to be thankful for, but she could appreciate that her mother at least had the body and head removed from the premises. One time, Red had been asked to move the remains after a particularly violent round of vomiting, but as soon as she touched the body she had passed out. While the Queen had initially showed concern for Red when she came to, it was quickly revealed that the concern was for Red's blood-soaked clothing.
"Seriously, Red. You must be more responsible. I had the servants use rare material for this gown and now it's ruined!"
So the movement of the remains stayed the card soldiers' job, and Red was continuously forced to clean up the blood that spattered the streets. At least until she was strong enough to keep her breakfast down. When that would happen, she didn't know. She would swallow her pride and mop up the remaining blood. She'd mop for hours, making sure each crack between each brick and stone was spotless. At least as spotless as it could get. The once pale concrete between the stones had been stained pink from the constant beheadings that took place on it. The first time Red had been forced to clean the pathways, she had broken down at not being able to bring the cracks to their former glory.
Maddox had found her in the dead of night. She was kneeling on the ground, sobbing as she tried to scrub out the stains with her coat. He had hugged her, helped her up, and told her there was nothing she could do. She fought his grasp at first, crying out that she had to make it spotless or her mother would punish her even more. Maddox had whispered calming words into her ear, that the pavement was always that color, that she didn't have to be perfect, that her effort had been enough. Once she had calmed down, she stood up and apologized to Maddox.
"There's no need for apologies, Princess," He had taken off his hat and bowed, "I'm just your friendly tutor and friend."
Red had almost started to tear up again at the thought that Maddox could be her friend. She wiped the few new tears that had formed and walked off with a small smile, "Don't call me princess."
Now Red had another friend besides Maddox. Never in a million years would she have thought that she would find somebody that meant as much to her as Chloe did. After their time traveling adventure, Chloe had been her rock. She was the only one who understood what Red had gone through with her mother, even if Red had never told her the full extent of it all. Chloe never pushed to know more, she just pushed Red to be open with her feelings. Red would explain that she was upset, and when Chloe would ask why she would simply give the bare minimum. She could tell that Chloe always wanted to know more, her curious look in her eye always gave her away, but she never prodded.
As Red looked into Chloe's worried yet curious eyes once more, she sighed. She had another nightmare. She was once again cleaning up the blood in front of the castle, but this time the blood, her namesake, belonged to Cinderella. Her corpse had been left to show Red what her insolence had done. She had hesitated, shown the royal a mercy that the Queen of Hearts deemed undeserved. She had tripped over something solid, and as she fell to the ground some deep part of her knew it had been Cinderella's head that had caused her downfall. However, instead of hitting the ground, Red had shot up in bed. Chloe was right next to her, whispering kind words as she tried to get Red to breathe evenly.
Once Red had recovered, Chloe had asked what her nightmare was about. As per usual, Red had described it in two words, "My mom."
And that's where they were. Chloe stared at Red, practically beckoning her to continue. Normally Red would bring the blue-haired girl into a hug. The two would lay in her bed until they fell asleep, and in the morning Red would pretend like nothing happened, that she hadn't been an emotional mess the night before. But tonight wasn't a normal night. In just a few hours her and Chloe would arrive in Wonderland for a weekend vacation. After Red had spent months not answering Bridget's letters and calls, the Queen of Wonderland insisted that Red come and spend a few days with her.
Red had told Chloe about the request, and Chloe had convinced Red to go and get to know the new version of her mother. Red had only spent a day with her, after all. While it had been one of the best days of Red's life, it had also been exhausting. After the original excitement of having a loving mom wore off, Red realized she didn't know how to interact with this version of Bridget. Every conversation made her feel like she was playing a part. She was a detective, searching for clues in what Bridget was saying and doing to try and find the right thing to say. It's why she hadn't responded to any calls or letters, she just didn't know what to say.
Chloe had told Red she'd go with her to make things easier. Red had appreciated it. Chloe was her rock, after all, but she didn't know everything. She just knew that the Queen of Hearts was pure evil, but she wasn't aware of what that evil had resulted in. Red sighed, "There was blood. I was cleaning up blood. From a beheading."
Red's sentences were stilted. She had never opened up to anybody like this, not even Maddox. With him, she hadn't had to. He had seen everything, he didn't need an explanation of what had happened to her. But Chloe had no idea. She only knew about the beheadings, not the aftermath, "My mom would make me clean up the blood afterwards. She said it would make me strong since I was too weak to stomach watching them. Being around the blood would make me used to it."
Chloe softly rubbed circles on Red's back, "I'm so sorry."
"It's whatever," Red swallowed, "It's not like it actually happened now. We fixed things, she's fine. I'm getting worked up over nothing."
"It's not nothing," Chloe moved her hand from Red's back to cup her cheek, "It happened. It may not have happened in this timeline, but it happened in the one we lived in. You lived through that. Just because it didn't happen where we are now doesn't mean it's any less valid."
Red shook her head, "I wish I could just shake it off. It's like now that it's over I can't forget it."
"That's okay. We'll work through it, together," Chloe softly laid a kiss on Red's forehead.
"I'm happy you're coming with me," Red laid back down, motioning for Chloe to lay next to her.
"Me too. I've always wondered what Wonderland was like," Chloe giggled at her pun.
"I'm getting serious deja vu right now," Red let out a dry chuckle, "I'll have to introduce you to the jabberwocky."
"What's a jabberwocky?" Chloe asked ironically.
"A monster that eats annoying girls," Red smiled. Who knew that when her and Chloe had first met that they would have ended up where they were now. She certainly hadn't, but she was happy things had ended up the way they had. With her girl by her side, she felt like she could do anything.
Almost anything.
As Red and Chloe approached the Wonderland castle, Red started to shake. Chloe squeezed her hand which helped to ground her, but not entirely. She felt like she was walking on air. She looked down at the pavement to make sure she was actually on the ground. The first thing she noticed was that the cracks in between the red bricks were white as snow. They were unnaturally clean. Or were they naturally clean? That was the way they were supposed to look. There wasn't supposed to be layers upon layers of crimson blood resting within it.
Red let out a wet laugh, "It's so...clean."
"Was it not before?" Chloe raised a brow.
"For the most part, yeah," Red shrugged, trying to play off her emotions, "Just this area was normally a weird color...for some reason."
Chloe gave Red an odd look but didn't prod. They made it to the large entrance where two card soldiers opened up the doors for them. In the doorway stood Bridget in a large pink gown, "Oh darlings! It's so good to see you!"
Bridget ran up to Red and engulfed her in a hug. Red's body immediately tensed. She slowly loosened up her arms and awkwardly wrapped them around her mother, "It's good to see you too..."
She was relieved when her mother let go of her and ran over to Chloe, "Oh and little Charming, you've gotten so big!"
"I don't think I've gotten any taller since orientation," Chloe gave an awkward laugh as Bridget hugged her.
"You could have fooled me!" Bridget released Chloe and looked between the two girls, "Now come on! I know you've been on the road for quite awhile, so I made sure to have lunch hot and ready for you both."
Red and Chloe looked at each other before following Bridget to the castle's dining room. Chloe moved to pull out Red's chair, but was shocked when the chair took a hop back by itself. Red sat in it and laughed, "Here in Wonderland, everything has a mind of its own."
Chloe looked at the chair next to Red. She tried to will it with her mind to move, but it didn't budge. Red rolled her eyes and scolded the chair, "Stop giving her a hard time and let her sit."
The chair moved, allowing space for Chloe to sit in it. She let out a shocked squeal when the chair moved again, this time closer to the table. Red laughed. Chloe had so much to learn about how things worked here. Then again, Red did too. She only knew the basics of how the magical objects and creatures worked. She had no idea what laws or regulations this new Wonderland held, if any.
Bridget sat down from across the two girls. All of their plates were full of food, more than Red had ever been given in one day, much less a single meal. Her mother had always been strict about what she ate in order to instill discipline. The Bridget in front of her, however, seemed to have never thought about her food intake, "So girls, how has school been?"
"It's been good!" Chloe spoke first, covering for Red as she nervously picked at her food, "Swords and Shields has been really fun. I was a little nervous when they made me the captain, especially since I'm a sophomore, but I really feel like I've proved my position to the team."
Bridget looked to Red, "And you, Red? How are things going with you?"
"Fine," Red muttered. She shoved a bite into her mouth.
Bridget looked hurt as Red focused on her food. Red wished she could make her mother feel better, but she genuinely had no idea what to say. She knew her mother wanted her to tell her how great school was going, how she had a million friends, and how she was so happy she could die. But that wouldn't be the truth. She was barely passing her classes since she was so behind due to the curriculum her old mother had given her, she was constantly having nightmares, and the only friend she had was Chloe.
"You know," Bridget started, "When I went to Merlin Academy I had a hard time. I was very naive, and thought that everybody would want to be my friend. Really, a lot of people immediately sensed how new to the world I was and treated me horribly. I was too unaware to notice their fake kindness. I let people push me over, have me do their homework as a favor for a friend, have me take the blame for something I didn't do in order to save a fake friendship."
She looked to Chloe, "Even after I met your mother, Chloe, I still had trouble. While she would point out when people were being rude to me, I still had a hard time accepting just how cruel the people around me were. I thought that if I was nice enough I would change them. I would make treats for them, hoping they would get the other students to like me. But one day I was handing out treats and something awful happened."
Chloe and Red shared a knowing glance as Bridget continued her story, "Uliana, Ursula's sister and your principal's aunt, stole too many of my flamingo feather cupcakes. As you two know, you can't have more than one flamingo feather. Uliana morphed into a sea witch, flamingo hybrid and chased Ella and I across campus. The entire time I was apologizing to Uliana as if she hadn't been the one to steal my cupcakes. Later, I considered going back to Uliana and apologizing, but Ella and two transfer students stopped me."
Red almost choked on her food, "Transfer students?"
"Oh yes," Bridget smiled, "They were only in school for about two days before they disappeared back to whatever land they came from, but they made quite the impact."
"Do you, uh," Red swallowed the rest of her food, "Do you remember anything else about them?"
Chloe nudged her from underneath the table, but Red didn't care. She wanted to know what this new version of her mom thought of her even when she didn't know Red was her daughter. She reached for Chloe's hand and gave it a squeeze.
"They were very color coordinated, similar to you two. There was one who dressed in blue, but I didn't speak with her much."
"And the other one?" Red's eyes widened with curiosity.
"She actually made quite an impact," Bridget chuckled to herself. Her eyes were far away, lost in a memory, "She was very odd when I first met her. She was closed off. I complimented her outfit and she acted like she had never heard a compliment before. I tried hugging her and she stepped away. I tried to be understanding, but I also couldn't understand why somebody could be so averted to positivity."
Red felt tears springing to her eyes. Her voice cracked, "Yeah, that's so weird."
"That's what I thought at first too, but then the next night her and the other transfer student came into my room. She told me how her mother hated everything about her and limited everything she did. Suddenly everything made sense, why the girl was so closed off. She had never felt love the way most of us had. The only love she had ever known was from somebody who had mistreated her. It was no wonder she was so unnerved by my compliments. She wasn't used to hearing them often, if at all."
Red's lip quivered. She tried to keep her composure as she spoke, "You said she made an impact on you..."
"She did," Bridget smiled, "I made a promise to myself that day that if I ever had a daughter, I would never treat her that way. She would only know love and kindness. She would know that I valued everything about her. I actually named you after her, you know."
"I didn't know that," Red's eyes widened.
"It serves as a reminder to me of how important love is. That love can truly change a person," Bridget gave a small laugh, "And also it's one of my favorite colors. Besides pink of course."
Red felt a tear escape her eye. She stood up, her chair creaking at the sudden motion, "Can I be excused for a second?"
She didn't wait for an answer, instead she ran through the halls until she found her room. Thankfully in this timeline it was in the same spot, though oddly enough there was a door this time. She wasn't allowed a door in her previous room. It was another means of control from her mother, she had nowhere to hide. But now, in this timeline, she had a hiding spot. She opened the door and made her way to her bed. It was heart shaped, just like her old one. She ran a hand over the heart-patterned comforter before she slowly sat down.
Once she hit the bed, it was like a dam exploded. She quickly started to sob and gasped for air. Everything was hitting her all at once. Her mother in this timeline truly loved her, but Red would never get to know what growing up with that love was like. Her mother had worked so hard in this time to make sure Red didn't turn out the way she was. Bridget literally named Red after herself as a reminder to not fuck up her kid. And here she was, the fucked up unloved girl that Bridget had met so many years ago. This version of Bridget didn't deserve that, not after the work she had put in.
Suddenly Red felt a familiar hand on her back, rubbing circles as it always did, "I would ask if you're okay, but I feel like I already know the answer."
"This is so fucked up," Red sobbed.
"I know," Chloe spoke softly, "It's not fair that you didn't get to grow up with this version of your mom. But now you have the chance to know what it's like to have a mom that loves you. Isn't that worth something?"
"You're right, it's not fair, but not for me," Red looked into Chloe's eyes, "Bridget worked so hard to get a kid that wasn't the messed up version of me she met in the past, but that kid is literally me. How am I supposed to face her when I know I'm everything she worked so hard to avoid?"
"I don't think that's what she meant, Red," Chloe said, picking her words carefully, "I think she meant that she thinks everybody deserves to know love. You hadn't when she met you, and she saw how upset that made you. I think she just wants you to know what love feels like."
"But I'm not the daughter she raised. She doesn't even know me," Red sniffled, "Once she finds out I'm nothing like her, what is she going to think?"
"I'm not sure," Chloe sighed, "I think it's going to be an adjustment for both of you. Obviously you don't have to tell her everything about the time travel stuff, but you can try opening up to her. You already have something in common, you both have struggled with school. I think that could be a good spot to start, and I think she might think so too since she already brought it up."
"I won't know what to say to her," Red wiped her nose on her sleeve as she started to compose herself.
"Maybe not now, maybe not for awhile," Chloe grabbed Red's hands, "But someday, you'll be able to talk to her like it's nothing. You won't have to think about it one bit, and when that happens you won't even notice it. It'll become natural. You just have to give it a shot. Trust the process."
"Ugh" Red playfully rolled her eyes, "Why are you so good at pep talks?"
"I'm just charming, that's all," Chloe shrugged.
Red nudged the blue-haired girl, "That's debatable."
The two made it back to the dining room, but the table had been stripped and Bridget was nowhere to be found. Red walked up to one of the servants, "Have you seen Bridg- I mean my mom?"
The servant pointed, "I believe she's in her quarters. She seemed a little upset, though, so she may want some alone time."
Chloe gave Red's hand a supportive squeeze as the two headed towards Bridget's room. The two walked down the hall to a red heart-shaped door. Red turned to Chloe, "I think I need to do this on my own."
"You sure?" Chloe asked. Red nodded. Chloe gave her hand a final squeeze, "Okay. I'll be right out here."
Red took a deep breath and opened the door. Bridget was no longer in her gown, instead she was in a matching set of silk pink pajamas. She laid on her side and stared at the wall. Red slowly closed the door, "Mom?"
Bridget turned over and sat up, "Red? Are you alright? You ran off after lunch. I went to go after you, but Chloe told me not to."
"I'm better, but I've also been better," Red sat on the edge of her mother's bed and fidgeted with her hands, "I'm sorry for leaving lunch so abruptly."
"It's okay, darling," Bridget scooted over to be closer to Red, "I just wish you would tell me what's wrong. I've never seen you this upset before."
"You were right," Red sighed, "I'm having trouble adjusting."
"Oh sweetie," Bridget ran a hand through Red's hair. She tensed at the touch, which Bridget noticed and removed her hand, "I had a feeling. When you stopped writing I got a feeling. I stopped writing to my mother when I went to Merlin Academy, too."
"Really?" Red's eyes met her mother's.
"Oh yes. For the first few weeks we wrote back and forth, but as the year went on I slowly stopped. Responding just got harder and harder since I didn't want to tell her the truth, that I was having a hard time making friends."
"Did she ever find out?"
"Yes," Bridget gave a soft smile at the thought of her mother, "When I came back home for winter break she noticed something was off. She sat me down and asked me how school was really going and I just broke."
"Sounds familiar," Red gave a nervous laugh.
"When you ran off, I realized I shouldn't have brought it up. Especially with Chloe right there," Bridget reached for Red's hand, "I'm sorry."
"You shouldn't be the one apologizing," Red looked away from her mother, "I iced you out for months, and didn't even want to see you this weekend. If it weren't for Chloe I wouldn't have come at all. But it's not like you did anything to deserve that. I should have just sucked up my feelings and dealt with it."
"Oh Red," Bridget sighed, "You can't ignore your feelings. They are apart of you. You need to open up and let them out. Why do you think I bake so much?"
"Because you like to bake?" Red guessed. The mother she grew up with never baked. She thought it was beneath her and a servant's job.
"That's one reason," Bridget giggled, "But also because it lets me get my feelings out. I put my problems in the batter and stir them away. Similar to what you do with your drawings."
Red's eyes widened, "You've seen my drawings?"
Bridget laughed, "Of course I have. You used to show them to me all the time when you were little."
Right, Red thought, I actually spent time with my mother in this timeline.
"I know you don't like to do it as much anymore, what with school and your royal duties, but I think you should get back into it. Don't let the pressure of school get to you. And if you need anything, I'll always be here."
Red's eyes teared up once again. She didn't know how she had enough water in her body to be crying this much in the past 24 hours, but here she was, crying again, "I love you, Mom."
"I love you too, Red," Bridget embraced Red, and this time she didn't flinch or tense up.
It was a good spot to start.