Chapter Text
Ed’s leg bounced underneath the table, a nervous tick he'd never managed to grow out of. He rechecked his watch: ten to seven. The date was at seven. But it’s his bar so he was kinda already there. Not like he was waiting or anything. Like he was excited or something. Nah, Stede was just another date.
Not like Lucius showing him one picture of Stede made his heart beat faster. Blonde, curly hair, and shining hazel eyes. And that was just the top of him, Ed hadn’t seen much below his broad shoulders, covered as they were in a suit. Even Lucius thought he was cute in a quote “old man kinda way.” But he was otherwise glaringly sparse with details about the man.
“I work for him,” Lucius had said a couple of nights ago in the bar. He was there for his usual Wednesday night date with Pete, so was a little distracted as his boyfriend had yet to appear. “He’s…alright.”
“Alright?” Ed asked, still staring at the phone Lucius held out to him, the picture smiling back at him. “That’s it?”
“I don’t know,” Lucius scoffed, taking an exaggeratingly dainty sip of his drink, “he’s got some redeemable qualities. He’s weird. He thinks he’s funny. He’s smart, don’t tell him I said that.”
And that was that. Pete walked through the door and Lucius was lost to him afterward. So Ed was left with a bit of a mystery. A handsome mystery. He tried desperately to remember everything Lucius had ever said about his boss. Random little factoids came to mind: coffee with one sugar, no cream, and something about working with real estate. Okay, yeah, so maybe he was a little anxious to find out more about Stede. Maybe he was looking forward to the date. Sue him.
So he sat at one of his own tables (one he’d bought from a junkyard, sanded, polished, and painted by himself) and let his leg bounce and let his fingers drum aimlessly against the tabletop. He could feel Izzy glare at him from the office. He couldn’t see into the office as it was down a hallway and the door was shut, but he somehow knew Izzy was glaring. Izzy was usually glaring.
The door to the bar opened, Ed looked up and nearly fainted right there on the spot. Blonde hair attached to a man (rectangle?), dimples as he smiled, arms. No longer covered in a suit, but a fitted light blue dress shirt that stretched over those broad shoulders and frankly stunning chest. Calves. Eyes. Did he mention arms? What the fuck?
Ed was drooling.
“You must be Ed?” Stede said as he walked up to the table Ed was sitting at. “I’m Stede. Though you know that, of course.” He laughed nervously. Dimples again. Shit.
Ed might be in trouble.
“Hi,” Ed answered, a little high-pitched. He cleared his throat, “Hello.”
Ed stood and somehow managed to stretch out his hand. Stede kept his (ridiculously cute) smile as he returned the handshake. Solid, warm, soft, warm. Ed’s heart thumped so harshly it shook his ribcage. Oh, yeah, he was definitely in trouble.
“Hello,” Stede whispered. They stared. And stared.
“Cough,” a loud voice made them both jump. Ed turned to find Archie, one of his servers, standing there with arms crossed over her chest. “Drinks, boss?”
“Uh, yeah,” Ed turned back to Stede and gestured for them to sit. “Shall we?”
“Oh, yes!” Stede trilled. They sat across from one another before Archie handed them drink menus. It wasn’t any shitty plain menu, not on Ed’s watch. It was Blackbeard’s Menu. It really leaned into the pirate theme. And the gay theme. He liked giving the drinks funny names. Fang and Archie even added in one or two (one time he even let Lucius name a drink the “YAAAAS QUEEN”). But Izzy tended to go for the more obvious names.
Ed quickly scanned the menu, already knowing what was on it far too well, but he wanted to give Stede some time. Usually, Ed would have a nice, local beer on his dates. And if Ed had to take a guess, he’d say Stede was a bourbon or whiskey guy. A fancy brand, top shelf, no expense spared. Lucius had off-handedly mentioned once that his boss was (to once again quote) “fuck-off rich.”
He wasn’t really sure how someone like Stede would react to the cocktail (heavy on the cock, as Ivan would say) names. But Stede was smiling, big and toothy (were those fangs??), his eyes sparkling. And goddamn those dimples!
“I love a good pun!” Stede giggled. Normally his date would smile a little and then pick the least provocative name on the menu. So Ed wasn’t expecting Stede to say: “What would you recommend, Ed?”
Now, as a bartender, Ed hated people asking that. Because if the customer didn’t like the drink it was his fault (and then they usually asked for a free drink to compensate them). But for Stede? Ed kinda wanted to give Stede anything he could give. He was pretty sure if Stede asked him to jump off a cliff, he would.
“Well,” Ed tried for sultry, looking at Stede with heavy lids and fluttering eyelashes, “I’m not sure what you like.”
Stede’s cheeks went a little red. Cute. Fuck that was so cute.
“I, uh, I like something fruity.”
“What a coincidence,” Ed let his foot slide over to press a toe against Stede’s, “so do I.”
Redder. So much redder. Yeah, Ed really liked this guy. Oh, God, he was in so much trouble.
“I guess the…” Stede looked away and went even more red, “...the Fabulous Booty sounds good.”
“Two Fabulous Booties, Archie,” Ed said, not even looking away from Stede for a single second. He could feel her roll her eyes, but she walked away without comment.
“I’m afraid to say Lucius didn’t tell me much about you,” Ed wanted to know everything there was to know about this man. Needed to know.
“Why does that not surprise me?” Stede laughed, his color starting to go back to normal. “He did tell you he works for me?”
“That’s about the only thing,”
“Oh, goodness! Well–” Stede cleared his throat, “my name is Stede, obviously. Stede Bonnet. I’m 46, I’m newly divorced and newly out.”
There was a pause where Stede seemed to focus on Ed’s reaction. Ed tried his best to school his face, but he was a little surprised. It was clear that Stede was nervous about one of those things. Could be the divorce, could be coming out. Both of those are pretty major life events.
“The few dates I’ve been on, they’ve been a little put off by me having just come out,” Stede continued. Just then Archie returned with their drinks. Stede took a small, hesitant sip (with his pinky out?! Who the fuck does that?!). “Oh! Oh, that’s yummy!”
Ed smiled. Yummy? What a fucking weirdo. Ed was obsessed with him.
“I think it’s great that you came out, no matter when it happened,” Ed replied, sipping at his own drink. It was pretty yummy. “Better late than never, and all that.”
“Thank you,” Stede whispered. “It was…” he sighed deeply, “a very long road.”
“I’m proud of you,” Ed meant it. Stede smiled back at him, showing just a hint of sharp incisors.
“My father was a very overbearing man, to put it politely,” Stede said, his smile almost instantly vanishing. “He pushed for me to marry the daughter of one of his friends, which I did, hoping to gain some kind of approval from him. I didn’t, of course. It took until his death for me to finally be able to accept who I am.”
Stede sighed again. His eyes were far away, falling back into the past. Ed knew the feeling well.
“Know a thing or two about shit dads,” Ed replied. What was he doing? He never talked about his dad. Especially on a first fucking date. “Death is nature's greatest gift when it comes to ‘em.”
“Cheers to that,” Stede clinked his glass against the side of Ed’s softly. “There’s a strange kind of freedom in it. Is that a terrible thing to say?”
“Fuck no,” Ed immediately answered. “I’m glad every day my dad is dead and gone. Can’t fuck with me or my mom anymore.”
Stede’s eyes went soft and wide, sympathetic. But not in a way that made Ed feel patronized. It made him feel…understood.
“He sounds awful, Ed. I’m glad he’s gone, too.”
A sudden warmth spread through Ed’s chest, like there was a small candle burning right under his ribs. There was something about Stede, something so pure, so accepting. Ed felt like he could tell him anything. He needed Stede to feel the same.
“So you and your wife divorced?”
“Yes, we had a quite frank discussion a month or so after he died, filed the paperwork a week later. It was all quite amicable, no fighting over this or that. We actually co-parent better now than when we were married.”
Ed froze. Stede must have noticed, his glass stopped in the air halfway to his lips.
“You have a kid?” Ed tried to sound nonchalant and felt like he was missing it by a mile.
Stede looked concerned, but replied, “Two. My daughter Alma is 8 and my son Louis is 4.”
“Oh,” was all Ed could muster. He’d never really been around kids before and definitely had never dated someone with kids. After his shit childhood and pretty shit adulthood he was certain he’d done the world a favor by not having kids.
“Is–Is that a problem?” Stede placed his drink back down, twirling it nervously. Ed felt his heart sink.
“Well, I mean, I just…never around kids much,” Ed tried to explain. “Don’t think I’d be good with ‘em.”
“Because of your father?” Stede asked bluntly. Ed nodded. “Understandable. My father made me reluctant to have children but more reluctant to treat them the way he treated me.”
“Yeah, I think it just messed me up. Never really got to be a kid m’self, y’know?”
“So, that’s a dealbreaker for you?” Stede frowned. Ed didn’t want to say yes, he really didn’t. He liked this guy, way more than any other guy he’s dated in the last…forever. But kids? Shit. Kids were a big deal. They were young, too. Fuck, so young. And just going through their parents getting divorced.
“I really like you Stede –”
“But?” Stede interrupted. His body was rigid, shoulders almost up to his ears.
“I’m sorry. Kids just aren’t my thing.”
Stede took in a deep breath before releasing a soft sigh. He nodded and finished his drink. That was it. Stede would say it was nice to meet him and then walk out of his bar – out of his life – forever
Ed really didn’t want that to happen.
“Could we maybe be friends?” Ed asked tentatively. Because he needed this man in his life. Every part of his being screamed at him to keep Stede, never let him go, by any means necessary.
Stede seemed to think on that for a moment before nodding slowly, “I think I’d like that.”
Ed couldn’t help but smile. “So does that mean I can trauma dump on you?”
“You can tell me anything you like, Ed,” Stede answered and gave a soft sort of sad smile in return,
Oh god. This was a bad idea. Ed was not going to survive.
It might be worth it.
–
“A bookshop?” Ed asked as he chewed on one of his fries.
“Yes, well, I couldn’t stay at my father’s company. Turned that over to Zheng – she’s super tough. Always loved reading, loved books. They were my escape in childhood.”
“That’s awesome, mate,” Ed dipped his chicken tender into the homemade (everything was homemade, Roach insisted) ranch dressing.
“Well, she’s far more qualified than I am,” Stede said before taking a bite from his hamburger. Oh god, the noises he made. Jesus. “MMMMM! Oh God! This is incredible. My compliments to the chef.”
“Oh, yeah, Roach is fucking awesome!”
“Roach?” Stede suddenly looked at his burger with more trepidation.
Ed laughed, “Nah, it’s okay. Just a nickname. He’s an amazing cook.”
Stede seemed to mull that over before shrugging his shoulders and digging into his food again.
“Just don’t live above the shop, I made that mistake,” Ed suggested. As soon as Stede took a hiss of air through his teeth, he knew the advice was too little, too late.
“Bit late, I’m afraid,” Stede said, laughing. “Just seemed economical.”
“It is, but it’s also annoying as fuck. Never get a day off.”
“Oh, I didn’t even think of that!”
Ed laughed, “No one does.”
“I suppose I really haven’t had a day off since moving in. And there’s still a month before the bookshop even opens.” Stede paused, fiddled with his napkin. “You’re more than welcome to come, by the way.”
A month? Stede was already planning for them to be together – as friends! – in a month? Ed liked that idea.
“I’d love to.”
–
Four hours. They’d been talking for FOUR. FUCKING. HOURS. One topic after the other, flowing together. Perfectly in sync. He even told Stede about Jack. Which was not something he ever did.
“We lived together for a couple of years,” Ed said, taking a swig of his drink and shrugging one shoulder. “He thought of it more as being roommates.”
“But you didn’t?” Stede asked, a little red. God, that was so cute.
“Mmm...” Ed shook his head. “I mean, I didn’t think it was serious. But I thought we were…y’know, something.” Ed shrugged again. “We weren’t good for each other, that’s for sure.”
Stede nodded. Like he understood. Ed doubted that. He knew if he broached this subject it was likely that Stede would never want to speak to him again.
“We got into a lot of trouble,” Ed cleared his throat, looked away from Stede. “Drugs and stuff. Stealing. Jail.”
Ed dared to glance back up, cautiously. The only reaction was the lift of Stede’s eyebrows, but otherwise, he didn’t seem too taken aback. Which was more than a little surprising. Ed was usually too much. Or not enough.
But Stede…was Stede. He sat and listened. He didn’t pass any judgment, just accepted Ed the way he was. The candle in his chest burned brighter, hotter, steadier.
Ed couldn’t remember the last time he’d talked to someone for so long. Two days ago when he called his mom, maybe? Never with a date, that’s for certain. Usually, he’d have a drink, make a joke about living above the bar, ask if his date wanted to see said living quarters, and fuck all night. But Stede wasn’t his date. This wasn’t a date.
“I’d better head home, it’s getting quite late,” Stede said eventually, checking his watch. He made no move to leave.
“Yeah,” Ed answered, also sitting still. Instead, they just stared at each other, smiling softly. Until Stede took a breath and stood. Ed followed suit. “You aren’t driving, are you?”
“Ed,” Stede giggled, “I’ve only had a couple of drinks.” They stared again. It was beginning to be a bit of a habit. “I’ll get a ride.”
A realization struck Ed just as Stede took his phone out of his pocket. Well, two realizations: one, neither of them had so much as looked at their phones since the moment they sat down together and two, Ed didn’t have Stede’s phone number.
“There,” Stede pressed something on his phone screen, “Uber is on its way.”
“Wait,” Ed stopped him before he could put his phone away. “We should probably have each other's numbers, yeah? For friend reasons.”
For friend reasons? What the fuck was that?? Ed mentally kicked himself.
“Oh, yes, of course!” Stede said, already handing Ed his phone. “Go ahead and add yourself in.”
Ed flipped the phone around and came face-to-face with Stede’s kids. Well, shit. They looked young. Of course they did, they were young. They were cute, too. Like chubby cheek, tiny teeth, father’s eyes kind of cute. Ed clicked open Stede’s contacts before he could dwell on it for too long.
–
“You’re a fucking idiot,” Archie said the second Stede was out the door to his waiting Uber ride. Ed watched him through the front window. Watched him turn back toward the bar, spot Ed, and wave.
“Yeah,” Ed replied as he waved back, “I know.”