Chapter Text

CHAPTER 1

FELIX

There’s a guy a few desks down staring at the bruise on Felix’s wrist. Felix really should be concentrating, because his Korean isn’t really at the level that he can understand all of the professor's poetry analysis without giving it his full attention. But Professor Kim has such a soothing low voice that it’s so easy to let it fade into white noise while his thoughts turn to other things.

And so, instead of concentrating, he’s been rubbing his thumb over the faint purple bruise on his wrist. The tingle that runs through him as he fingers that imperfect bruise isn’t what it should be. These bruises weren’t made by a Dominant, just some vanilla guy he’d met at the bar last night, who had listened to his heat of the moment urging of ‘harder’.

Stupid, but maybe not as stupid as trying to find a Dom online, especially given that his Korean reading is worse than his speaking. Felix is desperate, but he likes to think he hasn’t reached total stupidity. Yet.

He honestly hadn’t thought much about kink after he’d traded Sydney's spring flowers for the autumn leaves of Seoul. He’d had too many other things to focus on: a rusty second language to exhume, a new dorm to get accustomed to, not to mention classes, and getting used to living in a new country. Classes, and homework, that kind of thing has never come easily and it’s ten times harder in a second language. But the harder it is the more he wants to try. The more he wants to prove he can do this. He always wants to push himself harder, past his limits, to prove he can be good and this is no different. He’s determined not to miss his old life, to prove that he can stand on his own and make a new life where he gets everything he needs and everything he deserves.

Part of him had wondered if it was more than just being busy though. If he’d left that piece of himself back in Seoul. If after too many times of being broken and not put together all the way, those parts of him just aren’t there anymore. So when the need to submit had hit him so hard he was knocked breathless, despite the overwhelming force of it he had felt grateful. Knowing he’d escaped with all of himself, that this part of him had just been on pause until he was in a better place.

His classmates have all been so nice, and he's pretty sure some could even become friends, if he just works a little harder, puts a little more time in. It feels greedy to want more than that. But he’s always wanted too much. And he doesn’t just want to be Yongbok Felix Lee, college student who loves dancing, gaming and baking. That’s all him but it’s not all of him. He doesn’t want it to be all of him. To remain as diminished as They’d made him feel.

It’s just that the gratitude doesn't lessen the ever growing urgency of this itching under his skin. It’s all the accumulated months worth of need, no gradual ramp up, just everything all at once.

Suddenly, Felix wants again. He needs. To be fucked, of course but more than that. Because he always needs more. (Too much, they’d said. Too much even for a greedy little slut.) He needs to be ordered around. He needs to be spanked and slapped. He needs to be a good boy. To be a good toy. To be pretty and useful and nothing.  

Suddenly he’d needed it enough to be stupid.

Because last night was stupid. As much as he wants, as much as he needs now, that need like a second skin, like an ever present ringing in his ears, always part of him…

He made himself a promise. He will never again be just a warm hole for anyone who actually sees him as nothing more than that. That’s what he’d promised himself when he’d deleted Woojin’s last texts as he sat in the plane waiting for takeoff.

This time, he’s promised that he'll be smart about it. He’ll find balance. Kink-Life balance. He'll find the kind of Dom he deserves. And he can’t do that by settling. Not the way he’d done in Sydney and certainly not the way he’d done last night.

Felix isn't good at pessimism, is the thing. He can't maintain it for very long, even when maybe he should. The optimism is as much part of him as his need for submission, an unkillable, intrinsic part of him, just the way he's wired. So he can't help thinking that maybe his luck's about to change.

Because now there's that guy a few desks down staring at the bruise on his wrist. Taehyun, Felix thinks his name is, and he’s handsome, like an idol or an actor who would appear in commercials for mattresses or shampoo or soap. He’s that kind of clean and crisply handsome.

Most importantly, he’s staring at Felix not in confusion, but with understanding. The kind of understanding that sends a prickle up Felix’s spine.

Felix gives up concentrating on Professor Kim entirely and looks back at the guy, catching his eye. Then he lets his cardigan fall off his shoulder, just a bit, so the guy can see the bruise on his upper arm. This one is fainter, but he knows the guy sees it, because his eyes narrow, like he’s considering something, and when Felix smiles at him, he smiles back, and nods, once.

The rest of the class is a lost cause, sacrificed to the buzzing excitement under Felix's skin. It’s been so long. And now that something is maybe finally happening, he feels every one of those days.

By the time he’s packed up and left the lecture hall,  the hallway is full of students. He scans the crowd, trying to find the guy's pale beige hair in the fast-moving tide. The simmering excitement in his stomach is boiling over into something jittery and acidic but then a dry voice says, "Over here."

He turns to see probably Taehyun smiling at him.

“Hi,” Felix says, catching up to him with a smile of his own. “So, I couldn’t help noticing you…noticing.”

“I noticed,” He says, matter of factly. “Let’s go somewhere to talk?”

“Sure,” Felix agrees. “I’m Lee Felix, by the way.”

The guy blinks a few times, “Not Yongbok?”

“Also Yongbok,” Felix agrees, even though the name still feels a little strange. Back home, only his family has ever used it. “But if we’re going to be…friends,” He puts a hand on the guy's bicep, just for emphasis. The hardness of the muscle beneath his shirt is too delicious not to give it a little squeeze. “My friends usually call me Felix.”

“I’m Kang Taehyun,” Taehyun tells him, not seeming at all surprised by Felix’s blatant groping.  “But we should definitely move this to somewhere a little more private.”

***

They end up at a secluded table in the quad, under a brilliant red maple tree. On the short walk there, they exchange the requisite preliminaries. Taehyun is majoring in psychology, and as is the norm for Felix’s classmates here, he’s younger. This time, Felix is a little surprised. Taehyun is so self-possessed, he seems older.

“So,” he says when they sit down. “I wanted to ask you about your bruises. I’m assuming they’re sex bruises?”

Felix is startled into laughter. “Yeah.”

“Fantastic,” Taehyun says, with a cheerful smile. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“Ah really?” Felix asks, “Would you be interested in giving me some more?”

Taehyun’s smile freezes, his eyes wide and blank for a moment. Then he shakes his head.

“Sorry, I should have clarified. I’m vanilla, and I have a boyfriend.” He must see the way Felix’s heart sinks, because he quickly adds, “But I might have a hook up for you.”

Now it’s Felix’s turn to blink. He turns the word over in his mind. “A hook up?”

“First things first.” Taehyun says. “Are you into kink?”

That word, he’d looked up.

“Yes. I’m a submissive.”

“Perfect.” Taehyun says. “How would you feel about making some money from it?” He winces a little. “I promise this isn’t a pyramid scheme. And I realize that’s exactly what someone would say if they were trying to lure you into a pyramid scheme so...”

He rummages in his bag and takes out a small paper rectangle. It’s a business card.

“Hit List…Entertainment?” Felix cocks his head, studying it. "Is that like…a talent agency?"

“Not exactly. Let's just say the word ‘entertainment’ is doing a lot of work,” Taehyun says drily. “I’m an escort.”

The word's in English, so Felix is fairly sure he’s understanding and yet…

“Escort like…”

“People pay me for sex.” Taehyun explains, still in that patient, matter of fact tone. “Men, to be more specific.”

Felix looks from the card back to Taehyun, with his clean cut idol face and his carefully sculpted muscles. “You must be really popular.”

Taehyun grins. “I do alright,” He acknowledges. “One of the Dominants at work is looking for a full-time submissive. I was wondering if you might be interested.”

***

Felix presses his fingers to his pulse, counting as it rises with the elevator. But for once it's excitement pumping through him, steady as a drumbeat, rather than nerves. He doesn't remember the last time he felt this way. He’d been excited to come to Seoul and start school, but that had been one of so many mixed emotions, because that decision had felt as much like running away as it did an adventure.

This excitement is like a sparkler in his veins, all glitter and white hot light, almost searing in its purity. It's that fever-pitch anticipation that is almost indistinguishable from arousal. Because maybe, just maybe he's found it.

The perfect solution. Because the truth is, he doesn’t totally trust himself to be able to do this without some boundaries in place, not anymore. And someone working at a company like this is already vetted,  a good Dom. If nothing else, a Dom with no expectations he hasn't met.

***

His first glimpse of Hit List Entertainment looks like a cross between a hotel lobby and maybe an entertainment agency, with chairs and a low table, and a big flat screen TV showing a parade of gorgeous guys that Felix can only assume must be the escorts.

A pretty guy with a bright smile and boyish good looks waves cheerfully from the front desk. "Welcome back, hyung!"

"Thanks, Kai." Taehyun smiles at him. "Can you let Hoseok-hyung know we're here, if he's ready? This is—"

"The new potential sub, right?" Kai interrupts with a grin. "Don't worry, he's ready." He turns to Felix. "You can just go knock." He points to a door a little beyond the reception area, "Trust me, he'll be happy to see you."

So Felix knocks.

"It's open," A voice calls.

"Uh, hi," Felix says, as he steps in the room, feeling a bit awkward despite himself, "I'm Lee Felix, I came to interview for the position of submissive?"

The man who rises energetically from the desk is handsome, with icy bleached hair and a sunny smile. "Hi, I'm Jung Hoseok, one of the founders of Hit List Entertainment. It's a real pleasure to meet you. Thanks for coming down here on such short notice."

"Oh, it's not trouble at all," Felix says. His voice is breathy with nerves, now that he's here, in front of the man who's going to decide whether or not he's good enough to get this chance. Taehyun had told him not to worry, but he wants this so badly that it's hard not to. His hand slips to his neck again, and he takes a slow breath.

“Why don’t you have a seat?” Jung Hoseok says.

It's not an order, but there’s a weight, a confidence behind what is otherwise a polite request, that pings Felix’s brain in a very particular way. Jung Hoseok is definitely a Dominant. And just like that, his whispering nerves settle. He was told to sit, so he sits.

Hoseok has to have noticed just how quickly and obediently Felix followed his not actually an order, but he doesn’t comment.

“So I'm sure Taehyun told you what we're looking for,” Hoseok says. "But just so we're clear: We're looking for someone to work exclusively with one of our veteran Dominants, so you'd be doing scenes together while clients watched, rather than subbing for clients."

"Yes, that's part of what appeals to me most. I think it's…what I'm looking for right now."

Hoseok smiles encouragingly. "Why don't you tell me a little more about what you're looking for, then."

"I spent the last few years very…involved in the kink scene in Sydney, and I have a good idea of what I like and what I want as a submissive. I love kink. It’s part of me, and I’ve been missing it since I came to Seoul. I want somewhere I know I can trust, where I can play without judgment, with a Dom who I know I can trust, who I know respects me."

"That's all very important," Hoseok agrees, "But there are other places to get that. If you wanted, I could give you the names and addresses of a few clubs that are safe and welcoming. You could find any number of Doms who would be very interested in playing with you. So why make it your job?"

It’s what he’s been turning over in his head ever since he talked to Taehyun. This is the right place for him. He just needs to be able to explain it properly.

Because I need this like I need to breathe.

Felix presses his lips together so he won’t say that, and takes another deep breath.

"I did a lot of public play and I always liked the idea that I was…being useful to the people watching. Like, fulfilling a need for them. And in this case…it's a literal service, right? I read through loads of customer reviews on the subway here. And I can see how people who find their way to a place like this…really need it. It's a really special place to them. I really like the idea that I could be something healing for people. If that makes sense?"

"It does." Hoseok gives him a little understanding smile, so Felix keeps going.

This part is a bit harder to admit but he thinks it's important too. Maybe even more important.

"I think I need more structure than I had in Sydney, and the roles here all seem very clear. Not…sub/Dom, that kind of thing but like…the Dom I work with, he'd be my coworker and…we'd be playing during specific hours, the hours that I was scheduled to work, doing specific things that clients pay for. It's all very clear, in sense. And I just think that structure like that is…something I'm really looking for. Being professional."

Somehow he makes himself stop talking, because now he's just rambling, talking in circles again. There's a long silence, but Jung Hoseok is smiling now, easy and approving and Felix feels lighter, like all those words were stuck in his chest and he can breathe more easily.

"We definitely appreciate professionalism here," Hoseok says."And we do want everyone coming into this to be very clear about the fact that it is a job. I think everything you're looking for is something we could help to provide." His smile has faded slightly, but his resting mouth is still curved a little, keeping his face open and approachable. He has the kind of sharp, handsome features that probably look very intimidating when he's in Dom mode. The thought makes Felix's belly warm. "I do need to ask a few logistical questions first, about your school schedule and that type of thing. But also…I hope you won't take offense if I ask, what's your first language?"

"English," Felix admits, "We did speak a mix of English and Korean at home though, and I…I'm taking all my coursework in Korean here at school."

"Your Korean is quite good, from what I've heard so far," Hoseok says, "And I'm sure it wouldn't be an issue in most ordinary situations. The reason I'm asking is…have you ever done a scene in Korean?”

“No…” Felix admits .And he doesn't need to track his pulse to feel the sharp spike of anxiety. If he's come this far only to lose out because of his language ability… "If it would be too much of a disadvantage to have someone who can only do scenes in English, I’m confident that I can learn."

“I’m sure you can,” Hoseok agrees. “And we can keep that as something to explore down the road, but as luck would have it, the Dom who's looking for a sub is fluent in English. Many of our clients speak English, and we do have foreign clients too, so it will be an asset to have a sub with English speaking capabilities. Of course with a voice like yours, I don't think most people will care what language you're speaking."

An English speaking Dom? It's even more than Felix had hoped for.

"I’m thinking you and Chris could do quite nicely together. If you're amenable, I would like you to have a trial session. It’s not an audition, it's more like a chemistry test to make sure that the two of you would be interested in working together on a regular basis.”

"Okay," Felix says. "Yeah, that sounds good to me."

"Wonderful," Hoseok says. "I can see if Chris has time today, since you're already here, or if today is too soon for you, just let me know what day would work…"

"Today's not too soon." Felix says. "Today's great. Today would be fine."

CHAN

Chris enters the room with a welcoming smile on his face. Job interviews are always nerve wracking, even when they don’t require you to put yourself in a very intimate and vulnerable position with a complete stranger. He wants to try and create an atmosphere that will put this potential sub at ease.

Sitting in the chair is the prettiest person Chris has ever seen. He has a sharp chin and jaw made delicate by his features which are soft and rounded: large eyes, a small round nose, and a full heart-shaped mouth. It’s a sweet and refined face that makes any eroticism in his delicate and lush prettiness seem accidental. His longish hair is silky, bleached a soft yellow blonde, fluffing around his face and almost brushing his collar.

Once the shock has passed, Chris steps fully into the room, his smile back in place. If this interview goes well, this guy — Lee Felix, he remembers — is going to be very popular.

“Hey, nice to meet you, I’m Chris.” Chris greets him in Korean.

“Hi, I’m Felix. Thank you for taking time out of your schedule for me.” Felix’s voice is rich and deep, the polar opposite of his pretty, delicate features.

His Korean seems good, from what Chris can tell, but Chris figures he should switch to English given that Hoseok had specifically asked if Chris could do a session in English with Felix.  

“It’s no worries. If you’re thinking about working here, I’m happy to make sure it’ll be a good fit for you.” Chris tells him, switching to English.  

The wide smile that lights Felix’s face is like sunshine, warm and bright and beautiful, so beautiful Chris feels it in his solar plexus.

“You’re an Aussie?”

Even in English, his tone is just as deep, with a pure, clear depth like a lake. It’s a really good voice.But that’s not what has Chris’ heart beating a little faster than it was before. Lee Felix sounds like home.

“Yeah,” Chris confirms needlessly. “I grew up in Sydney.”

“Oh wow, so did I!” Felix laughs a little.  “Do you know Club Taste? I used to be a regular.”

A tingle runs down Chris’ spine, like the opposite of feeling as though someone walked over his grave. He can’t stop smiling.

“I used to rent one of the dungeons there.” He says. “Until I moved to Korea last year.”

What are the odds that while working in a mostly illegal escort service in Seoul, Chris would run into another Australian? A ridiculously pretty, Aussie submissive? Who used to play at the same club he worked out of? This is fate type stuff.

“Wow, so we really might have even been there at the same time then.” Felix says. “Maybe we ran into each other and didn’t know it…”

“I feel like I would remember seeing you.” Chris says honestly. “But still, we could have been there at the same time, you’re right. ”

“And now you’re here.” Felix says. “And so I am.”

“Now I’m here.” Chris echoes, still smiling.

“Sorry,” Felix says. “I don’t mean to be weird, It’s just…I haven’t met another Aussie the whole time I’ve been here. And then Taehyun told me about this place, and that they were looking for subs, and… not only do they have an English speaking Dom but you’re from Australia too?” His smile is like sunshine, lighting the whole room.

“No, I get it.” Chris tells him. “It’s wild. It feels like fate or something, yeah?”

Felix nods. He’s so pretty that Chris sort of loses about 30 seconds or so just looking at him, before he remembers what they’re actually here for.

“So let’s go over the basics, yeah?  Hoseok told me you had some experience, and I guess you must, if you were a regular at Club Taste.”

Felix nods eagerly. “Yeah, I got into the scene my first year at Uni, so…” He counts on small tapered fingers. “Three years ago? And I’ve been…I would say, quite active, since then?” The word ‘active’ is doing a lot, judging by the way he bites his lip. “And then I moved here, and well.” He shrugs. “I haven’t been here that long, only since September but I wasn’t really able to play those last few months in Sydney.”

Chris is about to reply, but Felix keeps talking, an artless rush of words like he just needs to get it out, so Chris just lets him.

“I kind of…wasn’t in the right place? But this is the longest I’ve ever gone without playing since I started…And I’ve been missing kink so much,” He gives a little disbelieving laugh. “So I kind of jumped at the chance when Taehyun told me Hit List was looking for someone to be a professional sub.”

“Speaking of, I just wanted to pause here,” Chris says, “to make sure you’re aware that given the nature of our company, I’m expecting this role to include sex during scenes, including penetrative sex. I want to make sure you would be comfortable with that.”

“Thank you,” Felix says politely. And then he adds, his words tumbling in an eager rush, “I’d kind of assumed, from the questionnaire, and I would be ah, very comfortable with that.”

That low thrilling voice, the barely there lip bite, and Chris hasn’t missed the way Felix has been looking very appreciatively.

“Great,” Chris says. “It’s honestly my personal preference for scenes, as well.”

Felix nods. “I can’t believe this is like, a proper job.”

“It is, and it’s my job to make sure you like it here enough to make it your job.” Chris tells him.

And if it’s up to him - which it is - he’s going to make sure Felix likes it here. He’s going to give him the best session he’s ever had.  

“So given how much you seem to be missing it, and that you’re thinking about making this your job, I guess it would be fair to say that kink is a big part of your life?”

“I love it,” Felix answers. His whole face is lit up. With his bright smile and his golden hair, Chris can’t help thinking of the sun again.

“Let’s take a look at the kind of things you love,” Chris says, unable to suppress his own smile. “And we can see what type of scene we might want to do today.”

“Oh, yeah, here’s my sheet,” Felix hands him a piece of paper, the standard issue kink sheet they ask every prospective client and employee to fill out. For the first time, Felix looks a little hesitant. "Sorry if it seems like…a lot.” His laugh is tinged with uncertainty. “Hoseok-sshi told me to fill it out as thoroughly and honestly as possible. So I just…marked off everything I could think of that I like? But I don't need everything that's on here. If it's too much, or if some of these things are hard limits for you…"

"Why don't you let me worry about that?" Chris tells him, using his most reassuring voice. "I'd rather have too much information than not enough. You did this just the way you should have."

"Okay," Felix says, with a slow smile. "Okay."

"This is one of my favorite parts." Chris confides to Felix. "Getting to know each other."

And he's not saying it just to make Felix feel at ease. He really does love this part: Gathering all the pieces from a new sub so that he can put together the perfect session that will give them everything they’re looking for from him. Figuring out the way he wants to best meet their needs, and just how those needs intersect with his own skill set. Even with all the information here, it's impossible to know exactly what Felix will be like as a sub until they’re in Room 318, but it’s a good place to start.

“Let’s go through this then, one by one.” Chris suggests. Especially given that Korean isn’t Felix’s strongest language, he wants to make absolutely sure that he’s setting the limits he thinks he is for every item. This is the kind of thing there can’t be any confusion or misunderstanding on. "Don't think about me while we're going through this, okay? This is just for me to get an idea of what you like. No judgment or expectations."

Felix nods. "Okay." He says. His smile is less tentative now.

This stage is always about putting the other person at ease. Chris has never been embarrassed by kink, except for during his very first lessons when he was still learning how to articulate what he liked and why he liked it. It’s always been a job for him, after all, so it was easy to have that mindset — would a carpenter be ashamed of his tools? A businessman?

But he knows it's not easy for most people to talk about something so intimate with someone they've just met, even and sometimes especially if that person is going to be doing those things with them.

But Felix is quick to warm once they start talking. It's clear that he’s used to talking about kink, absorbing Chris’ questions and suggestions thoughtfully, and answering them frankly. Felix is happy to expand more on his yeses when Chris presses for details, and he answers without hesitation when Chris asks more about his hard limits to make sure doesn’t accidentally cross a line.

“So did you leave this next one blank on purpose?”

“Oh,” Felix says. “I uh, I wasn’t sure what it meant,” His cheeks are ever so slightly pink. Embarrassment looks adorable on him, but in this case, Chris wants to help him clear it up.

“No worries,” He says, “This ones a bit of a euphemism. It’s asking about cumplay. Facials, that kind of thing.”

“Oh!” Felix’s face lights up. And that’s. A really nice bit of info there. He takes his pen and makes a nice enthusiastic circle around YES. “Yeah, I really like that kind of thing. I really like…to be made a mess of?”

It’s breathless and excited but not embarrassed at all; he’s embarrassed by lack of knowledge, not kink. Good. Also, Chris feels so lucky right now. Because holy fuck, does he want to make a mess of Felix.

First though…

"I know how hard idiomatic expressions are, and this isn't the kind of vocab you'd run into unless you're actively looking for it. You can always ask me anything," Chris says. "I moved here for middle school, and I definitely wasn't fluent then, so I know what it's like. You're doing really well."  

The praise brings a smile to Felix's face immediately, which shouldn’t be surprising, given the fact that he had not only checked yes for verbal praise, he had written ‘Good boy’ with a smiley face and a heart in the margins.

The last section is the open ended question that tries to get a little more granular about specific feelings the client is looking for, any specific requests like names they want to be called, things like that. This section, Felix has filled out in English.

“I hope that’s okay,” he says. “I wanted to be sure that things were like, really clear? And since I was told we’d be doing the session in English, I thought it would be okay?” His teeth bite into his bottom lip. “Also I honestly don’t know how to say ‘pretty little cumslut’ in Korean and I didn’t want to look it up on my phone.”

“That's totally fine. I think clarity is most important here anyway.” Chris says, utterly delighted. "Really, this is all great stuff."

This just keeps getting better and better. Going through this sheet together has only deepened Chris’ initial sense of possibility, of something like fate. Seeing everything Felix loves and wants laid out like this…Well, it’s honestly got Chris feeling a little giddy.

“So I know you were worried about our compatibility,” He says slowly, “But I think you and I are going to have a lot of fun together today.”

Felix’s eyes positively sparkle. "You do?"

“Oh yeah. Let me show you what l mean.” Chris says. “You showed me yours, so I’ll show you mine?” He waggles his eyebrows and Felix laughs, a bright guffaw of amusement laced with barely contained excitement.

Chris has his sheet in the back of his clipboard, but as he reaches for it, he has another idea. Felix’s sheet is marked up diligently now, with little notes and translations in the margin, like a cheat sheet that Felix will need to memorize for a test. The idea of handing him Chris’ own sheet, crisp and translationless, doesn’t seem kind.

“Actually, I’ve got a better idea,” Chris says. “If you don’t mind, why don’t I just check off my items on your sheet? So you’ve got a bit more context.”

Felix relaxes visibly. “Thanks, mate.” The grateful phrase is tossed off like it’s automatic, but the sheer familiarity makes warmth spread through Chris’ chest. Again he has the sensation of being home.

He takes Felix’s proffered sheet, and marks it off. The process is easy. It’s the sheer overlap of items, when put side by side like this, that’s dizzying.

He hands the sheet back to Felix, who blinks at it. Chris sees the moment the full implication hits him.

“Oh,” It’s more breath than words, almost a gasp.

Up until now, everything has been mostly theoretical. Chris hasn’t even started planning their scene. But that sound does something to Chris. Suddenly it brings everything, all of those overlapping possibilities, into the realm of reality.  

“I think,” Felix says, having found his voice again, “that we will uh, definitely have a good time.”

"I told you." Chris says, with a smile.

“I really like these sheets,” Felix adds. He sounds more confident now, just like Chris hoped he would, his deep voice warm and effusive. "It’s fun to like… see everything laid out together like this." His tongue darts out to touch his lips, soft and pink. “To know that you like the things that I…need."

It’s official. Chris is beside himself over this guy's voice. It’s absolutely gorgeous. He can’t wait to hear how Felix sounds when he begs.

But first, there’s a bit more business to attend to before they can get to the fun. He flips to Felix’s final sheet and scans it.  

“Thanks for the specifics on the aftercare checklist. As you saw, debriefing and check-ins are standards for clients, and they’ll be standard for you if you work here.  Now if there’s anything not listed here that you need, feel free to let me know.”

“Ah, really? Like what?” Felix tilts his head, curious.

“That’s up to you.” Chris says. “I knew a Domme in Sydney who played the harp for her subs. I’m no harpist but pretty much anything you need, I’ll try to make it happen. I could probably manage piano or guitar if it was something easy. Haven’t played much since I was about 13 or so but I could give it a go.”

Felix laughs. “For today, chocolate, head pats and reassurance should work.” He says. “I don’t want to make you do an acoustic set unless I actually get the job.”

Chris grins. “I’ll be looking forward to it. So, now that we know what we both like and the aftercare you need, let’s chat about what we want to do today, yeah?”

So they talk things through. It doesn’t take long before Chris has the shape of the session in his head, growing easily and organically. Felix seems to have less experience actually planning out scenes, and would probably let Chris take the reins entirely, if he’d wanted to, but when Chris coaxes him to add his own opinions and requests, he’s all eager earnestness. He's definitely a talker when it comes to things he's excited about, but it's oddly endearing. Not to mention a good quality to have, if they’ll be planning multiple scenes a week together.

“Oh,” Felix says suddenly, during a lull in their discussion. “I uh just realized I should probably mention something.”

“Go for it,” Chris tells him, warmly. “You’re among friends here. And hopefully coworkers?”

He smiles until he coaxes an answering smile from Felix. But he can see where Felix’s small hands are twisting in his lap.

“It’s okay,” He says, “Really, no need to be shy or embarrassed. I’ve been working professionally as a Dominant for 5 years, there’s not much I haven’t heard by now. I promise, whatever it is, I’m not gonna judge you.”

“It’s just…I tend to go into subspace pretty easily. And like I mentioned earlier, it really has been a while since I’ve gotten to play. So…I might go kind of deep. Probably will, I mean.”

“Noted,” Chris nods slowly, giving Felix his most reassuring smile and watching Felix soften a little. “How deep are we talking?” He just catches himself from adding ‘baby’, the way he might do when comforting a girlfriend. Something about Felix makes him feel protective. “Non-verbal?”

Felix nods, but he doesn’t look at Chris.

“Do you mind if I touch you?” Chris asks.

“I don’t mind.” Felix says, shaking his head. He still doesn’t look up though.

Chris puts his fingers, gently but firmly, under Felix’s sharp chin, and tilts his head up.

Felix acquiesces beautifully, so obedient that Chris, mindful of what Felix has just said, takes a moment to rephrase what he’d been going to say so it won’t sound like a command.

“Whether you decide you want to work here or not, you should remember that when it comes to kink, you don’t ever need to be ashamed of anything you like or anything you do.” Chris tells him. “Unless it’s in the context of a scene and we’re doing humiliation play. Okay?”

“Okay,” Felix says slowly. “So like I said, I tend to go a bit deep into subspace. And it can happen quite quickly. And I…I can go non-verbal, like you asked.”

Chris nods. “Thank you for telling me. Now I know what to watch for. I’ve worked with subs who could go pretty deep into subspace, and I always enjoyed playing with them.”

“Oh, really?” Felix asks. The hope in his voice squeezes something inside Chris’ chest.

“If any Doms made you feel badly about it, they shouldn’t have. It’s a good thing. It’s… beautiful. But let’s just get to know each other more and see how things go, yeah? I would never preemptively take something off the table. If you go deep into subspace, I’ve got you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hold yourself back. Just let go. I promise I’ve got you.”

“Okay,” Felix says, nodding, almost as if to himself. “Okay. Thank you.”

“It’s no worries,” Chris tells him.

Felix still seems a little shy though, smiling and ducking his head, busying himself by pushing up his sleeves. His slim, muscled forearms hint at a toned body beneath his soft lavender sweater and jeans. He has delicate wrists, small enough for Chris to encircle easily with one hand. In fact, someone has held Felix by the wrist recently, hard enough to leave his skin mottled with imperfect smudges of light bruising.

Chris reaches out for Felix’s arm. “May I see?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Felix says. Again, this part is easy, no trace of shame as he proffers his wrist for Chris to examine.

The bruising is uneven, barely there in places, with the pressure points like the shape of finger tips, dark enough to last a few more days at least.

The closer he looks, the surer Chris becomes that it’s worse than amateur work, merely the byproduct of a bout of slightly rough but mostly vanilla sex. He wonders if Felix had asked for these, and it makes his heart ache a little, the idea of this pretty submissive who knows exactly what he wants, trying to get it from people who are utterly unequipped to give him what he needs.

Even if nothing else comes of this session, Chris can give Felix what he needs.

“So I’m not sure if Hoseok-sshi told you, but the office guidelines on marking for our in-house submissives is that generally it’s best not to leave marks that last for too long after a session.  Both for the comfort of other clients and to dissuade anyone who might get the wrong idea about what’s allowed here.”

“Sure, okay,” Felix nods. “That makes sense.”

“But,” Chris says, “Given that the ship has already sailed, in this case…if you’re up for it, do you want me to make these nicer? Mark you up properly?”

Again, there’s that little intake of breath, the one that sounds like a siren call to his Dominant side.  

“Yes, please.” Felix says, and Chris was right about how good that word sounds in that deep voice of his. Felix is still a little breathless as he adds, almost shyly, "There's another one, on my upper arm."

"Shall I fix that one for you too?"

Felix nods, eagerly. "Yes. Please."

“Wonderful.” He says, fighting back a smile. “Remember, if you need to safeword at any point, we use the traffic light system here at Hit List. And like I said before, even if you safeword out completely, it won’t have any bearing on our decision to offer you the job. If anything, we’d feel even more comfortable offering it to someone knowing they were aware of and not afraid to insist on their own limits.”

“Got it,” Felix agrees. “Red, yellow, green. I know my safe words, and I’ll use them if I need to.”

“Very good.” Chris says. He doesn’t miss the way those two words make Felix’s face go soft. Information he is definitely filing away for when they’re actually in dynamic. “Now, shall we get started?”

"I’m ready.”

"Our receptionist Kai will show you to the playroom in Room 318. I want you to get on your knees and wait for me. When I enter the room, the scene will begin, and you’ll address me only as Sir. Alright?”

Felix nods slowly. There’s a quietness to him now, a soft glow, like he’s already moving towards his submissive headspace.

“Alright.” He says. It sounds like, Yes, Sir.

Chris can’t wait to get into Room 318. Whatever happens after, he has a feeling this is going to be one of the most rewarding sessions he’s ever done…

FELIX

The rug beneath Felix’s knees is thin enough that the grit of the floor bites into his knees a little.  Out of the corner of his eye, he can see there's another rug, thicker,  and fluffier. It looks like it would be like kneeling on a cloud. Comfortable. Luxurious, even. He would barely feel it.

But he doesn't want comfortable. He doesn't want luxurious. He wants to feel. He wants to feel every single thing.

He asked Chris not to go easy on him just because it’s a trial, and Chris smiled, seeming pleased. That's what Felix wants. To please Chris.

He knows he can kneel prettily. He can stay on his knees for as long as he needs to. Hours probably, with any old bruises long healed. He’d told Chris as much while they planned this scene, and Chris had given him another pleased smile and said he doesn’t want that from Felix today.

There’s a security in knowing what Chris wants from him. With Woojin and the others, Felix had felt like he was guessing half the time. But Chris has promised to be clear, not only beforehand, but during. The thought settles him, had settled Felix so much that he’d been ready to kneel for Chris then and there.

So now that he’s here in this room, and the session has really started, it’s an easy slide into that feeling, easier than it's been in so, so long. Not the plunge of gravity but like taking a breath and letting himself sink under the blue waves of Bondi Beach.

He takes that breath, and lets go of everything but what his Dom wants. Which right now, is for him to wait. His yearning curls around the waiting, perfuming it, sanctifying it. Until he melts into it. Until he becomes the waiting. The slow thud of his heart in his chest. The nip of a small pebble beneath the thin rug.

The click of the door pops under his skin, like a bubble.

“Hello, little one.”