Chapter Text
Andrew was in the middle of methodically making it through his triple chocolate fudge ice cream when he heard a sharp intake of breath that caused his hairs to stand on end. He looked up sharply on instinct and was met with a pair of striking blue eyes that he hadn’t seen in 3 years and didn’t think he would ever see again.
“Andrew?” Neil murmured, half shock, half awe. His voice was caught in his throat and he looked like he’d seen a ghost.
Andrew resisted the urge to swallow the knot in his throat and stood. Neil was only a couple of feet from him and he looked almost the exact same as he had in juvie. He also looked very, very different. He was wearing a loose fitting Palmetto sweatshirt in an irritatingly orange color and a pair of athletic shorts that were short enough that Andrew had to force himself not to stare at Neil’s legs. He had always had trouble with looking at Neil’s legs. His hair was shorter and looked like it had been cut in a salon, clean and styled and bringing out his best features. The haircut made his jaw look sharper and his eyes look bluer. It also made the fresh scars on his cheek more apparent. They looked grotesque in the harsh florescence of Sweetie’s.
Andrew couldn’t help but step up to Neil, rest his hand on the scars adorning his cheek and caress the skin carefully, “What happened to your face?”
Neil sucked in a breath and stared at Andrew in that way he always had, like he could see straight down to Andrew’s soul, “Dashboard lighter,” he murmured, his eyes too busy cataloging every inch of Andrew’s face to give away any hint of emotion at the admission.
Andrew cataloged that information away for later, here was not the place to ask Neil for more details but the idea of someone melting Neil’s face made him sick.
“When did you get out?” Neil asked, bringing Andrew’s attention back to him, away from the thought of him being hurt so extensively.
“4 months after you. My sentence didn’t change.”
Neil smirked and Andrew avoided looking at his full pink lips, “I’m surprised you were able to manage that.”
Andrew rolled his eyes, “It was easier once you were gone. No one there to cause problems. The environment was much calmer.”
Neil snorted and rolled his eyes, “Yeah right.”
Andrew stayed silent. Tried to resist asking but he couldn’t help his curiosity, “Where’d you go?”
Neil let out a breath, his eyes glanced at Andrew’s table, where Aaron, Nicky, Kevin, Matt and the girls were watching them closely, but he looked back to Andrew, lowered his voice imperceptibly, “I was in Nevada for a while, then Arizona. Then I went down to Mexico. And then I got caught.”
“Caught,” Andrew repeated, felt his stomach roil at what that implied. What Neil might have experienced. The scars on his face showed hints of the horror but Andrew had heard the stories about Neil’s father. He knew a dashboard lighter was only the beginning of his personal brand of torture.
Neil swallowed and his eyes darted around the room, looking for escape, “I’m fine Andrew.”
Andrew clenched his jaw. Apparently Neil hadn’t lost his penchant for pathological lying, “Don’t lie to me Neil.”
Neil huffed, something like fondness coming into his eyes at the words and Andrew glared.
Neil shook his head, that almost grin still adorning his lips as he looked at Andrew’s glare, “I missed you saying that. Missed you glaring at me.”
Andrew ignored the way his heart stuttered at the words and huffed, “Why? It’s not like you’ve ever listened to me.”
Neil bit his lip, looked contemplative, “I did. I listened. Remembering you was one of the only things that kept me alive Andrew.”
Andrew refused to acknowledge the intimacy and depth of that statement. How it shocked him and calmed him all at the same time. He had almost forgotten how blunt and upfront Neil always was about his feelings. How he could say the most vulnerable things without blinking an eye.
“Don’t,” he ground out, his voice tight.
Neil nodded easily, glanced to Andrew’s eyebrow and ghosted a finger over it but didn’t touch, “This is new.”
Andrew knew he was talking about the piercing. Something he had gotten a year after he got out of juvie. Neil had never seen it. He had been long gone by then, with a new name and identify.
“Didn’t look menacing enough?” Neil teased when Andrew took too long to reply.
Andrew snorted and ignored Neil’s prodding, even though he secretly loved it. Had desperately missed Neil’s teasing and mischievous eyes. He had never thought he would see him again.
“I like it. It looks good,” Neil murmured, his voice soft with adoration.
“How are you here?” Andrew asked, felt a little bit like he was choking. It took all of his willpower to keep the emotion out of his voice.
Neil’s gaze darted around again, “Can I tell you later? It’s a little bit… public.”
Andrew nodded and Neil started pulling out a battered flip phone, holding it out to Andrew, “I have a phone now. It’s shitty. But you can put your number in. I’m in the dorm closest to the library. So you know where I am.”
“I’m in the athlete’s dorm,” Andrew murmured as he entered his phone number into Neil’s phone. Added it to his favorites and emergency contact list.
“Athletes? You still play exy?” Neil asked excitedly, his eyes sparkling in the way they only did when exy was brought into the conversation.
“Yeah, I do.”
Neil’s grin widened into a smile and he looked so, so beautiful, “That’s amazing Andrew. I want to go to your games.”
“Or you could join the team. Our striker’s shit.”
Neil laughed but something painful flashed across his gaze, he bit his lip and bent down, pulling down his sock, revealing a metal prosthetic foot, “Unfortunately I don’t think that’s something I can do anymore.”
Andrew felt his heart stop. His foot. He lost his foot.
Neil smiled at Andrew’s shocked expression but it was a pained thing, “I just wasn’t fast enough.”
“Neil,” Andrew choked out. He felt sick. They cut off his foot. He spent his whole life running and they took his foot.
“I’m alright Andrew,” Neil said softly.
Andrew shook his head. He really couldn’t think about this right now.
“Go. I’ll call you later.”
Understanding flooded Neil’s eyes and he nodded. Andrew hated it. Hated that he could have so much empathy when he was the one who lost so much.
“My dorm is room 128. It’s a single,” Neil said. And then he walked away, his gait steady. You couldn’t even tell what he had lost.
Andrew swallowed. Shoved all the emotions Neil had just brought up down, down, down. He needed to see Bee.
“So… who was that?” Nicky said with a teasing tone, after Andrew had stood there for a beat too long, watching Neil’s retreat.
Andrew did not have the energy to deal with him. He just sat down heavily and scooped his now melted ice cream into his mouth. Aaron kicked Andrew’s shin and glared at him.
Andrew sighed. He hated how pushy his family was sometimes, “We were in juvie together.”
“Are you going to tell us his name? He seems nice. He’s gorgeous,” Allison said matter of factly.
Andrew just stared at her, debated answering, he didn’t like Allison, “Neil.”
“So are you two-“
“No,” Andrew bit out, less his answer to the question but more to the question itself. Neil was none of their business.
“But that’s not-“
“No,” Andrew said again, his tone sharp.
Nicky opened his mouth again and Andrew was tired of it. He got out of his chair, probably more aggressively than normal, and stalked out of the restaurant. They could find their own way home.
-
3 hours later Andrew was at Neil’s door. He couldn’t wait, couldn’t sleep and couldn’t think until he saw Neil again. Until he knew what happened. He had spent the prior 2 hours at Betsy’s office trying not to have a meltdown. And now he was here. He figured out the only thing that could really calm him down was Neil. Even after three years without him, just one encounter and he was back to that addictive need to be around Neil. He would categorize it as some form of self harm if Neil didn’t make him feel so calm, so sane. Bee said having support didn’t make you weak. Caring didn’t make you weak. Andrew had been trying to believe that since Aaron came into his life, since Neil. Neil coming back was just another trial. Another step towards letting himself care. It made him sick. But he faced it - because he couldn’t sleep until he knew Neil was okay. That he was staying.
Andrew knocked on the door of Neil’s dorm room and it only took Neil a moment to get to the door. He let Andrew in immediately with a smile and Andrew raised his eyebrows.
“It’s furnished.”
Neil rolled his eyes with a grin and settled on a couch he had pushed against the wall, “Uncle Stuart bought me stuff. Said I would sleep on a cardboard box if I had the choice.”
Andrew hummed and followed Neil’s lead, sitting next to him on the couch, “He’s not wrong.”
Neil looked at Andrew then, eyes softened, and it became very clear then that this was the first time they had been alone together in 3 years. First time they had ever been truly alone, without security guards or inmates steps way.
“It doesn’t feel real. I thought about this so many times,” Neil murmured.
“Thought about what?”
“Finding you. Risking it all so I didn’t have to be away from you. But I had to keep you safe,” Neil said, absentmindedly picking at a thread on the sleeve of his sweatshirt. A nervous tick that Andrew had memorized, hadn’t seen in so long.
“Martyr.”
Neil huffed and rested his head against the back of the couch, turned so he was facing Andrew, “Maybe. But somehow i’m here now. With you.”
“Somehow,” Andrew said plainly, “You’re telling me you didn’t specifically pick this school because you knew I was enrolled here?”
Neil smiled sheepishly, looked down, “Uncle Stuart wanted me set up in England, so I could be near him. But I told him there was someone in South Carolina I had to be near. I didn’t know details, but I found out that you were here. I had to come.”
Andrew nodded. Loved hearing every thought and word coming out of Neil’s mouth but he couldn’t wait any longer to know.
“Your foot Neil.”
Neil swallowed and sat up, pulled off his sock and shoe to reveal his prosthesis. It was metallic, almost robotic. The amputation was right at the lowest part of his calf muscle, surgically stitched and healed.
“It’s the best prosthetic money can buy. I can even run with it. Uncle Stuart helped, with my recovery. And rehab,” Neil rambled while Andrew stayed silent. While he tried to process all this.
“How Neil?” Andrew bit out.
Neil closed his eyes, took a breath, “Meat Cleaver. One of my father’s people- They caught me, drugged me. And they started with my face,” Neil motioned to the scars resting there, “And then they took me to the basement of my father’s warehouse. They were going to take my whole leg. They wanted to take both. They taunted me with it. Did it all so slowly. I was too slow to run. But Uncle Stuart had caught wind that my father had found me. He made it there right before they cut off the rest of my leg.”
“Can I touch it? Yes or no?”
Neil nodded and Andrew kneeled down, took Neil’s foot in his hand. He examined the prosthetic, how it connected to his leg and how it was removed. He caressed the skin above the amputation, “Can you feel that?”
Neil bit his lip, shook his head, “Not really. Not there. A lot of the nerves were damaged. They tried to fix it as best they could in surgery but… the cut wasn’t clean. I have phantom pains, but the skin around the amputation doesn’t have feeling otherwise.”
Andrew swallowed and nodded tightly, sat back up on the couch, “You promised you’d stay safe. When you left.”
Neil’s expression shuttered, “I know,” he murmured, “But i’m okay now Andrew. I- It’s… I won’t pretend I was okay. But i’m here now. Alive, talking to you. Neither of us are in a cell, or handcuffed. We both made it out okay.”
“I never should’ve let you run.”
Neil shook his head, “You couldn’t have stopped me. I never would have put you in danger.”
Andrew glared at him halfheartedly, “Stupid.”
Neil huffed out a laugh, “Can I hold you? Yes or no Andrew?”
Andrew nodded. He needed Neil close right now. Never wanted to let him out of his sight again. Neil responded to his nod by scooting in close, tucking his nose in Andrew’s neck and twining his hands through Andrew’s hair. Andrew held him tightly in turn, breathed in his scent, felt his soul settle.
“I missed you. I thought about you every day. I hoped you were okay,” Neil murmured, pressing a chaste kiss to Andrew’s neck.
Andrew let out a quiet sigh, squeezed Neil’s waist with a hand, “I’m okay.”
He felt Neil smile against him, “Good. That’s good.”
“So you’re here now? For good?” Andrew asked.
Neil nodded, “Yeah. Gonna get a degree. Try to be a normal functioning human.”
Andrew snorted, “That’ll never happen.”
Neil chuckled quietly. “True.”
“So no exy? You said you could run.”
Neil sighed, settled further against Andrew on the couch so they were cuddling now, “I can. But not as fast. And I can’t move the way I could. The dexterity is gone. And it hurts sometimes. Pinches. I couldn’t be good enough to play.”
“I’ve never known you as one to give up,” Andrew murmured, tucked his head against Neil’s.
“I haven’t tried. Been too scared. Maybe you could take me to the court? We could try.”
Andrew almost wanted to make a teasing comment about hating exy, but he knew this was too important to Neil, “We can. Whenever you’re ready.”
“Okay. I’d like that.”
They spent the next few hours just holding each other, talking, kissing. Andrew learned that Neil had only been on the run for a year and a half after leaving juvie before he got caught. The last years were spent in surgeries, recovery, rehab. He said they went through three different prostheses before they found the one he had now. He said the phantom pains were debilitating sometimes and physical therapy was a part of his daily life now. Along with regular therapy. Andrew had raised his brows at this, Neil had always abhorred the idea of therapy. But he said that his uncle said he wouldn’t fund his school unless he took care of his mental health, along with his body. Neil said he didn’t mind it so much anymore, and that it helped.
Andrew updated Neil too, that he was still playing exy (sigh) and that he was majoring in criminal justice. That Aaron was around and he was horrible but also not so horrible at all. He lied and said he hadn’t spent every day the past three years thinking about Neil but Neil smiled in that way that meant he could see right through Andrew’s bullshit. Andrew pretended not to love that even though he did (he really did). Eventually Andrew had to go before Aaron and Nicky started blowing up his phone and him and Neil planned to see each other again tomorrow. Andrew really didn’t want to ever go longer than a few days without seeing Neil for the rest of his life. But he’d keep that to himself.
So they separated for the day and Andrew felt more at peace than he had in a while. It was a good day, and Neil was back, and he was staying. He knew there would be bad days, for him and for Neil. They were both too fucked up to be able to go too long without a bad day sneaking up on them. But at least now they’d be together for it.