Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kaveh is a good-looking man. He has all the features for such a description–sharp yet large eyes accompanied with long eyelashes, blonde hair that curls at the ends and has become the envy of many teenage girls, even his hands are slender and admired by many.

Though, Kaveh isn’t just good-looking. He is more often described as… pretty.

He’s heard it all the time. Even when he was younger and still a student in the Akademiya, he’s heard a few girls his age call him that. Elderly ladies always reminded him as well. At first, he brushed it off, thinking that he was just being compared to his mother. She is a gorgeous woman after all.

But slowly, as he grew up, as he became taller, more mature, and strayed away from the style that was more akin to his mother’s, he slowly came to realize that people really do just… think that he’s pretty. Less often was he surrounded by people who knew of his mother. As he met with clients and fellow architects, the word, “pretty” or “handsome” would be mumbled around, either right in front of him as a failed confession, or secretly as a shy admission.

Alhaitham thinks he’s pretty. He’s told him plenty of times. He’s said it between kisses, during hugs, and just before they fall asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms.

“You, a scribe, know many words,” Kaveh once whispered against Alhaitham’s lips with a shy smile. “Yet when you describe me, all you can say is–”

“Pretty,” Alhaitham breathed before kissing him tenderly. “I can say more if you want me to.”

“No, that’s–” Kaveh giggled. “Nevermind. This is enough.”

Kaveh is pretty. Whether he believes in such an opinion (or fact, according to Alhaitham) or not, is up to one’s interpretation.

It’s a lovely evening–the type of night where Kaveh simply craves to just spend the rest of it without any worries. He adjusts his hair before walking into Lambad’s tavern where his friends are waiting for him just inside. It’s been a long while since they met up, everyone much too occupied with their own work and so, for such a special occasion, he’s tried a new hairstyle for once. Though, still with his favorite red pins and feather, he’s decided to put his hair up into a high ponytail instead. With the layers in his hair, some pieces stick out but he chooses to ignore them, more excited about meeting with his friends.

He traverses through the tables and crowds of people before finally making it to the back where Nilou had so graciously reserved a table, the considerate sweetheart that she is.

Cyno’s the first to notice him and he waves happily. Nilou follows, a bright smile on her face.

Kaveh takes a seat, his chest already lightening at the sight. The spot next to him is empty, waiting for someone to take it. More specifically, Alhaitham. He mentioned with an annoyed look on his face earlier that day that he would be late because someone decided to send in a whole batch of requests last minute.

“Is that a new hairstyle?” Nilou asks, leaning over the table, peering at it with sparkles in her eyes.

Kaveh laughs sheepishly. “I thought I would change it up a bit. It… doesn’t look bad, does it?”

Nilou profusely shakes her head. “Not at all!” She exclaims before giving him an enthusiastic thumbs-up. “It suits you!”

Kaveh smiles fondly. It seems that when Nilou has even a sip of wine, she becomes much more energetic.

“How come Tighnari isn’t here?” Kaveh turns to Cyno, questioningly.

“Oh!” Nilou jumps up. “I know,” she quiets down after realizing that a whole table nearby had turned to glance at her. “He said that he was preparing something. I heard it’s almost their two year anniversary.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

Kaveh’s mouth forms an ‘o’ in acknowledgement. He turns his attention back to Cyno, whose focus seems to be on something else–his hair. His gaze is fixated on it, watching its every movement. Then, his eyes move down to Kaveh’s face, his expression contemplative as if trying to commit his every feature to memory.

Kaveh narrows his eyes suspiciously.

“What are you staring at me like that for?”

Cyno’s still deep in thought. Then, he looks up, as if someone’s approaching.

And behold, Alhaitham takes his seat right next to Kaveh. He jumps and turns to him in surprise.

“You’re here early,” he says softly.

“Mmh,” Alhaitham simply hums, moving so that he’s sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Kaveh. Then, without another word, he takes Kaveh’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers under the table. It’s his way to ‘recharge’ as he once claimed.

Kaveh stares at it, flustered before clearing his throat.

Nilou observes the sight, giggling loudly with excitement. Someone truly should take her cup away before she accidentally reveals to everyone in the tavern that the Akademiya scribe and renowned architect spend more time kissing rather than arguing.

Finally, Cyno speaks up and Kaveh huffs. The whole time Kaveh’s been here, he hasn’t said a word. Yet, when Alhaitham’s here, he says something?

“Alhaitham.”

The man tilts his head. “What?”

“How do you resist?”

Alhaitham’s hold on Kaveh’s hand tightens. “Resist what?” he asks.

“Kaveh.” Cyno jerks his head towards his direction. “I mean look at him. He’s gorgeous.”

Kaveh freezes. Nevermind. Maybe Cyno should have stayed quiet. He turns to Alhaitham with a grimace. Yet, to his surprise, he faces a relaxed smile.

“I just do.” Alhaitham merely shrugs.

“No way,” Cyno groans. “Seriously, just look. His hair is different and he still looks good. Even under this horrendous lighting he looks like that…”

Kaveh glares at him, a scowl growing on his face. “Are you just going to pretend that I don’t exist?”

“You really do have a nice face,” Nilou jumps in, grinning widely. Kaveh smiles back at her, mouthing a “thank you” as he very subtly, takes her wine glass, inching it away from her.

When he turns back to Alhaitham, he inhales sharply, realizing that he’s now staring back at him. Alhaitham’s eyes search his face with a soft gaze. Then, it wanders up to Kaveh’s hair before he smiles.

“He is pretty,” Alhaitham acknowledges quietly. Then, he leans back against his seat casually, still with his hand holding Kaveh’s. “But then again, when have I ever failed to be a resolute person? Of course I can resist him.”

Kaveh scoffs with a roll of his eyes. Here’s to hoping that after a year of dating, Alhaitham would at least be a little sweeter. He goes to take his hand out of Alhaitham’s grasp but he’s quick to tighten his hold, pulling it closer to his lap.

“Hm, whatever you say.” Cyno looks at them skeptically. “Let go of Kaveh’s hand first. Then we’ll talk.”

Alhaitham stiffens.

He still doesn’t let go. Kaveh’s eyes widen and he stares at their connected hands, his cheeks flushing. His gaze finds Alhaitham’s and he gives him an urgent look as if to say “let go already!”

Alhaitham smiles innocently. Instead of listening, he tightens his grip and brings their intertwined hands up to his chest, holding it close to his heart.

“That’s what I thought.” Cyno smirks, crossing his arms and leaning back against his own seat. Though, his smug silence is quickly replaced by a panicked yelp when he almost falls off. Thankfully, Nilou’s there to catch him.

Alhaitham awakens with a pounding headache. He didn’t even have a sip of wine last night. It must be all those people he’s had to deal with earlier at work, their voices still ringing through his ears like an obnoxious bell. With a groan, he reaches over to the other side of the bed, only to find it empty. Magically, his headache worsens to the point that he grimaces.

Usually, when his head hurts, he grasps onto Kaveh, burying his face in the area between his shoulder blades, relishing in his warm and soft skin. His remedy isn’t present at the moment and that only makes his mood sour further.

He sits up, ruffling through his hair as he blearily looks around. The sun is already up and he can faintly hear the sound of Kaveh bustling about in the kitchen, humming to himself. Sleepily, he climbs off the bed and heads to the bathroom. Sure, Alhaitham could go straight to finding Kaveh, but he chooses to brush his teeth first, lest Kaveh rejects his kisses.

Finally, once he’s done, he shuffles down the hallway to look for Kaveh.

“You’re like a lost cat,” Kaveh often teases, admiring the way Alhaitham tends to pout and blink slowly in the morning.

Alhaitham shakes his head groggily. He will not face that remark anymore. Like a sane person, he will just ask for some pain medicine and possibly a kiss. Then, he will be fine. Then he wouldn’t be a… “lost cat” or whatever Kaveh means.

Yet as soon as he walks into the kitchen and he sees Kaveh, his mind becomes fuzzy.

The blonde man has his back turned, busy preparing coffee for the two of them. He’s wearing a loose shirt, Alhaitham’s shirt, one that reveals the pretty slope of his shoulders. But most of all and most importantly, his hair is tied up yet again in that stupid, stupid, ponytail. It swishes beautifully under the sunlight and when Alhaitham’s eyes wander down, he realizes that the back of his neck is perfectly on display.

Perfectly on display for him.

The warm tone of his skin and the shorter wisps of hair that have escaped the hair tie only serve to make Alhaitham’s longing intensify. His throat goes dry and he steps forward. At some point, he grabs onto the nearby counter, as if trying to hold himself back from stumbling into Kaveh’s hold like a lost cat. A stupidly in love, lost cat.

Alhaitham cannot resist.

He lets go of the counter before quickly wrapping Kaveh’s waist into his arms, pulling him flush against his chest. Kaveh lets out a surprised yelp but Alhaitham pays it no mind, focusing more on burying his nose into his nape. He inhales deeply, feeling warmth spread all throughout his body at the familiar scent of his lover. Like a fierce flame being put out, his headache disappears in an instant. It’s baffling how easily Kaveh can heal him in so many ways–fussing over and taking care of him when he accidentally gets hurt, listening to him closely even when he can’t find the words to express himself, existing when all Alhaitham needs is Kaveh.

“Alhaitham…” Kaveh mumbles, unsurprised.

Alhaitham doesn’t speak. He moves Kaveh’s ponytail further out of the way so that he can tilt his head to press soft kisses to his pretty skin.

Kaveh hums and leans further back into his touch, allowing Alhaitham to indulge himself.

“Clingy cat,” Kaveh sings to himself.

“That’s a new adjective,” Alhaitham mumbles. Still, he never pulls away from Kaveh’s nape, continuously pressing kiss after kiss as if he can’t get enough.

“A suitable one.”

Finally, Alhaitham loosens his grip. Kaveh shifts to face him and he smiles beautifully. Alhaitham’s eyes are still droopy, his lips yet again pulled into a pout. Kaveh swipes his hand across his forehead, brushing away his hair that falls messily over his face, noting the way Alhaitham melts into a puddle at his touch.

“A good morning would be a proper greeting, you know.” Kaveh grins. “I made coffee. Your favorite type too.”

Alhaitham hums, but he doesn’t move, his hands still resting on his waist. No matter how good the coffee sounds, his gaze is still fixated on the man in front of him.

Kaveh laughs with confusion. “Something on my face?”

Alhaitham silently shakes his head. His eyes wander up to his hair. He’s pretty like this. Even in a ponytail, the blonde strands still manage to perfectly frame his face.

“I like your hair,” he stupidly blurts out.

Kaveh raises his eyebrow. “Took you long enough. I had the exact same hairstyle last night, but you were too focused on telling me about my bad taste in wine that you– hm?” He gasps, feeling the strong hands around his waist tighten and hoist him up onto a nearby counter. He sits atop of it, Alhaitham stepping between his legs. He’s about to protest about the coffee getting cold but Alhaitham simply interrupts him with a long and deep kiss. Kaveh sighs into it quickly. It’s moments like these that seem to have the same effect as caffeine. Alhaitham lingers there for a while, the press of his lips enough to satiate that growing desire in his chest that’s appeared ever since he walked into the room.

Slowly though, Kaveh becomes impatient and he grips Alhaitham’s shoulders, pulling him deeper and tilting his head. “Haitham…” Alhaitham smiles against his mouth, his hands wandering down to grasp Kaveh’s hips, yanking him closer to his body. Still, it’s not quite enough and he leans forward, letting out satisfied hums, one after another. He can feel Kaveh shiver as he inches closer, practically sitting on the edge of the counter, with Alhaitham to catch him if he falls.

Kaveh pants breathlessly once they break apart. His cheeks are a pretty pink and it seems that his ponytail has begun to come loose from Alhaitham’s wandering hands, which only makes the man gulp and try to lean in again.

“I thought you said you could resist me.” He playfully knees Alhaitham in the stomach with a teasing expression.

Alhaitham tries to think of an excuse. He really does. But with Kaveh staring at him with reddened lips, his chest still heaving from the previous events, all he can admit is, “I lied.”

“Oh?” Kaveh smiles knowingly. “So you can’t resist me?”

“Is there any other way to put it?” Alhaitham deadpans.

Kaveh laughs. “Is it the hair?” He asks. “I thought you wouldn’t like it as much, honestly.”

“It suits you,” Alhaitham mumbles, his hand coming up to Kaveh’s nape, scratching lightly at the skin, making him shiver. “But it’s also how you look every morning. You’re so pretty, Kaveh.”

Kaveh goes silent, his eyes big. “Alhaitham…”

Alhaitham smiles, hopelessly in love, as he steps in between Kaveh’s legs again to pull him into another kiss.

“See, I would say the same for you,” Kaveh breathes once Alhaitham pulls away. “But you kind of look like a mess in the morning.”

“Honest as ever.” Alhaitham narrows his eyes.

Kaveh giggles. “That doesn’t mean I don’t find you cute, hm?” Both of his hands begin to brush through Alhaitham’s hair, trying to tame the messy strands. His smile only grows as they stubbornly flop back in place, falling over his eyes. “Maybe you need a haircut? I’ll do it for you tomorrow.”

“Should I trust you?”

Kaveh scoffs. “What, acting like I haven’t been doing your hair for the past three years?” Alhaitham always claimed that going to the hairdresser was a waste of mora.

Alhaitham shrugs, unable to come up with a response. Then, Kaveh’s hands brush past his forehead, bunching all of the hair up and away from his face. He lingers there, holding his hair into a mock ponytail as he peers at Alhaitham’s sleepy face, now fully visible and as handsome as ever.

Alhaitham blinks. “What?”

Kaveh shakes his head with a fond smile. “Nothing.” He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before letting go and allowing the hair to fall back over his eyes. “Just realized how much you’ve grown, that’s all.”

Kaveh hops off the counter, walking past Alhaitham to finish up the coffee. Alhaitham stares after him, his eyes lingering on his nape that’s still exposed from the ponytail. After over a year of dating, it’s only taken him until now to realize that Kaveh blushes not just through his cheeks, but also through the back of his neck. His skin is now flushed a deep red and Alhaitham’s gaze zeroes in on it with a familiar pounding in his chest.

Alhaitham surges forward, wrapping Kaveh into his arms once again, first pressing his nose against the back of his neck before pressing more kisses on his skin, despite Kaveh’s complaints and groans. “Again?” He huffs. “Let me finish this first…”

Alhaitham doesn’t listen. He merely gives Kaveh a squeeze before turning him back around to kiss him until the coffee needs to be reheated again. This new hairstyle will be the absolute death of him.

Kaveh leans back, stretching across the chair with a proud smile.

“Truly, this is beautiful, Mr. Kaveh,” the elderly lady speaks, peering at the blueprint closely with excitement in her kind, warm eyes. Kaveh smiles dearly. It’s not often he runs into clients who are so sweet and easy to work with.

“I’m glad! I hope your nephew likes it too.” Kaveh’s eyes sparkle, watching as she tilts the paper in different directions, admiring the various aspects of it. Every arch and pillar that he added, every change he suggested, she easily agreed with. It’s truly a refreshing change of pace.

She looks up, giving Kaveh a loving smile like they’ve been friends for years when they had only recently met.

“I never knew I could run into an architect that looks like you!” She suddenly says, her eyes glinting as she claps her hands. “Mr. Kaveh, you’re such a handsome young man.”

Kaveh’s eyes widen at her abrupt words and he bashfully laughs, scratching the back of his neck.

“Really, ma’am…” He mumbles, embarrassed. “Thank you,” he eventually replies, a shy smile on his lips.

“Say–” She leans in with her continuously kind smile. “My granddaughter. She’s smart and beautiful, just like you. Wouldn’t you be interested?”

Kaveh freezes, his hands clenching nervously.

“Uh–” His eyes dart away.

The elderly lady stares before she laughs lightly. “Don’t be so nervous, my dear,” she chuckles. “Sorry. I’m assuming you’re already preoccupied with someone then?”

Kaveh relaxes, his shoulders falling. “Yes, actually. He…” He curses himself for speaking so… timidly–like a young child who has a crush. Even the thought of Alhaitham makes his heart beat uncontrollably.

It seems that the lady notices and she gives him a knowing look.

“Then, I’m sure it’s hard for him to resist someone as handsome as you, hm?”

Kaveh sputters, shaking his head. “Y-you’re too kind, ma’am…”

Not all clients are as pliant as her though. A few days later, he storms home, his lips pulled tight into an annoyed frown. His hands are sore from the amount of times he’s erased and drawn on crumpled paper, only for the man to snort and tell him to change everything last minute.

Alhaitham on the other hand, has a day off from work. He lounges on the divan, waiting for Kaveh to come home from work.

Once the door unlocks, he peeks up from his book and his breath hitches.

He looks pretty.

Sure, his hair may be a bit messy and his clothes a little rumpled. But, just the sight of him is enough for Alhaitham’s heart to skip a beat. He lowers his book, his gaze watching Kaveh’s every move. His movements have always been graceful. It doesn’t matter if he’s simply using a pencil or if he’s pinning his hair back, Kaveh moves beautifully, often putting Alhaitham in a state of mesmerization.

He feels a small smile grow on his lips. He’s missed Kaveh. He’s pretty in the morning and he’s pretty when he gets home from work. He’s–

“God!” Kaveh exclaims loudly. He throws his stuff and storms off, mumbling to himself with frustration. “How can someone be so– so infuriating?”

Oh.

It takes Alhaitham a while to notice that Kaveh had come home angry. He’s about to get up and follow him, only for Kaveh to walk into the room again. He walks over to the nearby mirror, tugging at his pins and letting his hair run loose.

“I look like a mess,” he mutters to himself. He whips around, about to head to the bathroom when he finally notices Alhaitham’s presence. It’s shocking just how easily his eyes soften at the sight.

“Kaveh,” Alhaitham mumbles, stepping closer. “You’re home.”

Kaveh sighs, allowing himself to easily fall into Alhaitham’s arms, grasping onto his shoulders tightly. “I am. And I’m tired,” he whispers meekly.

“I know.”

Alhaitham leans back to stare at Kaveh. Even with a clear look of frustration on his face, he’s as beautiful as ever. His eyebrows are furrowed but his carmine eyes are clear, his eyelashes fluttering as he gazes at Alhaitham with exhaustion. His lips are pulled into a frown, but even so, Alhaitham longs to kiss him for the rest of the evening.

“You’re staring, Haitham,” Kaveh huffs. “At least let me wash up first so I can look presentable.”

“What do you mean?” Alhaitham asks, utterly confused.

“Huh?” Kaveh stares at him like he’s crazy. “I just got back from work! I must look like a sorry sight.”

Alhaitham easily shakes his head, his gaze taking in his every feature. Even with his blonde hair falling messily over the sides of his face, even with the crease between his eyebrows–he looks like a painting. Kaveh blinks, dumbfounded.

“You’re as pretty as when you left home,” he honestly replies.

Kaveh gasps. “Liar.”

“Am I the type to lie?”

The blonde raises an eyebrow. “Yes, actually.”

Alhaitham’s gaze is warm and he smiles. Tentatively, he leans in to press a kiss to Kaveh’s lips, effectively washing his frown away. “But does it seem like I’m lying right now?”

Kaveh’s breath hitches and he slowly shakes his head no.

“That’s what I thought.”

Kaveh peers at him shyly, a small smile on his lips. The crease between his eyebrows has disappeared, leaving his features soft and gentle. Alhaitham stares with utter fascination. He begins to wonder if a famous sculptor can even begin to replicate his beauty.

Alhaitham cannot resist.

And then, Kaveh feels an arm on his lower back and another under his knees. His whole world shifts as he realizes that Alhaitham’s picking him up, bridal-style. Kaveh yelps, staring up at him with surprise, as he’s carried elsewhere.

“What are you–”

Alhaitham sets him down on the divan gently. Then, he lies down next to him, almost falling off the edge in the process before propping his head on the palm of his hand, as he peers down at Kaveh with so much love in his eyes. It is so… clear, that Kaveh’s suddenly grabs onto the nearby pillow to bring it up to cover his face.

“You should rest first,” Alhaitham whispers. “Then I’ll make food for you while you take a bath.”

Kaveh peeks at him from behind the pillow and his lips curl up. “Spoiling me now?”

“Simply giving you what you deserve.”

Kaveh laughs and Alhaitham smiles back, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. Then, he pulls the pillow away from Kaveh’s face so he can lean in and press their lips together into a soft, loving kiss as if to convey a silent “I love you.” Kaveh eagerly leans into it, feeling the weight on his chest slowly start to lift.

“Then…” he whispers, giving Alhaitham a shy look. “Could I ask for something else?”

“Depends on what it is.” He says that, but they’re both fully aware that Alhaitham will give it to him anyway.

Silently, Kaveh shifts closer. Then, he climbs onto Alhaitham’s body, laying his whole body weight on top of his. He tucks his head under Alhaitham’s chin, their legs tangling while he curls into his warmth, nuzzling close.

Playfully, Alhaitham pretends to choke. “Now I can’t breathe.”

Kaveh grumbles, slapping him lightly. He knows that Alhaitham’s perfectly fine with holding up his body, especially because he often finds joy in picking Kaveh up for no reason. Even so, if he tries to escape now, he knows that Alhaitham will only wrap his arm around his waist, keeping him from moving.

“Do I deserve this?” Kaveh lifts his head, staring up at the man with a lazy smile.

“Of course you do. Always.”

Kaveh’s hands sneakily wander down and he pinches Alhaitham’s side–the one place that he knows he’s ticklish. Alhaitham jerks and squirms away as Kaveh grins.

“I’m going to push you off.”

Kaveh fakes an offended gasp. “You would never.”

And usually, Alhaitham would reply back with a snarky response. But, at the sight of Kaveh’s wide smile and the sound of his soft giggle, Alhaitham’s expression melts.

“You’re right,” he whispers. “I would never.”

Kaveh’s neck prickles with warmth and mouth goes dry. “You…” Embarrassed, he tucks his head back under his chin. “You weren’t supposed to say that. You were supposed to argue with me...”

“I’d rather see you happy.”

Kaveh buries his face into his chest. His eyes feel heavy with the sudden exhaustion that hits him at the moment. “Whatever,” he mumbles quietly. “Romantic.”

Alhaitham doesn’t reply. Rather, he leans down to press a kiss to the top of Kaveh’s head, his hand rubbing soothing circles across his back.

“Go to sleep, Kaveh. I think a bed would be more comfortable than me,” Alhaitham says yet he makes no move to nudge him away.

“I will,” Kaveh whispers. “Just let me stay here for a little longer.”

Kaveh ends up sleeping through the whole night. Right on top of Alhaitham. Alhaitham could have pushed him off to get up to make dinner and tell him to take a bath, like he said before. But, seeing Kaveh’s face so peaceful and beautiful, Alhaitham can’t bring himself to do so.

He’ll skip his plans for the evening.

Kaveh takes a deep breath, staring at the letter on his desk. It’s made of a fancy, thick paper with gold lining around the edges. At the very top, he can see the cursive writing in large letters for his eyes only.

To my son, Kaveh,

His hands are shaky as he picks up the letter, his eyes running over the words with his heart beating fast. He has started exchanging letters with his mother recently after Alhaitham’s gentle encouragement to get back in touch with her. It’s been going smoothly, much to his relief. For the past month or so, they’ve been catching up about their individual lives, chatting about work, sharing recipes, even noting places to visit together one day.

And it was the last letter that he sent, that he finally told her the news that he’s now dating that grey-haired, short boy that he met in the Akademiya–noting that he’s much taller now.

I hope that you’re doing well. I’m sorry for the late response, the client I was dealing with was being particularly frustrating. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Kaveh laughs to himself. He forgets just how much he has in common with her.

But you truly caught me off surprise with your previous letter! You and… (forgive me if I get the name wrong) Alhaitham?

Kaveh holds his breath. He’s nervous. In fact, he was so nervous, that he couldn’t even write his name in the last letter.

I always knew he had a crush on you, you know. When you were younger, I remember seeing the way he would stare at you with those big, hopeful eyes whenever you were talking. I’m glad that the two of you worked something out.

His cheeks flush. He never knew Alhaitham was like that.

Most importantly, I hope that he brings you happiness. I hope he is the one who gives you the love you deserve and who can help you take away your pain.

Kaveh smiles, his vision growing blurry for a moment. He’s done all of that. Even before they were dating. It was his fault for not noticing until recently.

Ah! But I’ve gotten a bit off track there. Anyway, please send my kind regards to him. And maybe you can both visit me here in Fontaine? I can’t wait to see you in the future. I’m always happy for you Kaveh, whichever direction you choose.

He sighs, his eyes crinkling with a wide smile. He reads the words over and over again, already noting down in his head to look for tickets to Fontaine. His eyes wander down to the very end of the letter.

P.S. My dearest, most beautiful son. It must be hard for him to resist you. I really do hope he’s faring well… I’m sure his heart explodes whenever you’re in the same room as him.

She even drew a small winky face. Kaveh huffs, setting the letter down. He reaches forward for his own piece of paper.

To my dearest mother,

He thinks for a moment before beginning to write.

Indeed, his name is Alhaitham. And yes, he does make me happy. Though, I would never admit that to him! He teases me all the time. But, I’m sure he won’t find this letter.

So… would you mind if I told you all the things about him that make me happy?

As the night wears on, Kaveh writes until he runs out of space on the paper. He grabs another one and writes some more. It’s the longest letter he’s ever wrote. And it’s all about Alhaitham.

Alhaitham heaves out a sigh. The sky is dark and when he checks the time, he winces. In his entire career, this is the latest he’s ever had to stay at work. He knows that Kaveh must be waiting for him, making his shoulders droop with guilt.

He unlocks the door and walks in, only to face an empty, dark room. He walks past and into Kaveh’s bedroom. It’s empty there too.

Confused, he checks everywhere else. The study is empty and so is the bathroom. Finally, he stops at his own bedroom. There’s a dim light emanating from it. Slowly, he creaks the door open and his heart seizes at the sight.

Kaveh lays in his bed. His eyes are shut, seeming to be in a deep sleep. Half of the blankets have fallen off his body, allowing Alhaitham to realize that he’s hugging a pillow–Alhaitham’s pillow–tightly. He nuzzles into the fabric, holding it close to his chest.

Alhaitham sets down his things and washes up as quickly as he can, changing into a new set of clothes. As he reenters the room, he feels his knees already going weak. Then, he approaches Kaveh and kneels down to get a better look. His hair is all over the place, splayed out against the pillow. Small snores leave his lips as he shifts slightly to adjust the pillow in his arms.

As the logical man that he is, his brain tries to create some sort of explanation at the sight. Kaveh must have been waiting for him to get back from work for a while. At some point, he grew drowsy and decided to go to sleep. And instead of going to his own bed or napping on the divan, he went straight to Alhaitham’s bedroom and hugged his pillow, the exact same way he cuddles Alhaitham.

Alhaitham stares blankly. He blinks and his heart beats. He blinks again and his heart beats even stronger than before.

Even with his mouth slightly agape, even with his eyes shut, even with the snores that seem to gradually grow louder and louder, he’s perfect in Alhaitham’s eyes. Alhaitham falls backwards, sitting on the floor, holding a weak fist to his own chest. His heart is thrumming uncontrollably.

Alhaitham cannot resist.

He suddenly stands up.

He longs to kiss Kaveh all over. He longs to pull him into a tight hug and tell him that he loves him over and over. But, he doesn’t want to wake Kaveh up from his slumber.

And it is at this moment, that Alhaitham tells himself that he should resist.

He shouldn’t give in to his desires simply because he thinks that Kaveh looks beautiful at the moment. He shouldn’t wake him up, especially when he’s already stayed up, waiting for Alhaitham to get home. Kaveh deserves the sleep that he can get.

And so, he starts pacing around the room like a fool. Each time, he stops at his bed, just to glance at Kaveh’s figure and his sleeping face. His hands will twitch, reach out, but he holds himself back. Then, the same process will repeat.

Let him sleep, he’ll tell himself continually.

Over and over again, he will walk back and forth, clenching and unclenching his hands, trying to stop himself from waking up Kaveh and pressing kisses all over his beautiful face. He runs a hand through his hair, his love growing so overwhelmingly strong that he loses his breath.

He stops at the bed. He leans down and halts just in front of Kaveh’s lips. Then, he’ll shake his head and straighten up. He can’t wake him up. He must resist.

He takes another lap around the room. Then, he’ll stop again at the bed, stare longingly at Kaveh’s pretty face. Then, it’s another lap. He must look stupid right now, pacing around the room, holding himself back from pulling Kaveh into his arms, but it’s the only thing he can think of.

After yet another lap around the room, he hears a soft voice call out.

“...Alhaitham?”

Alhaitham whips around, his hands in mid-air after telling himself not to cup Kaveh’s cheeks and kiss him repeatedly. His face grows warm, even under the chilly evening.

“Are you done walking around the room?” Kaveh whispers sleepily. “Join me already.” He shifts over, creating a space for him.

Alhaitham really cannot resist.

Immediately, he climbs in. Kaveh still seems groggy, his eyes barely open as he stares at Alhaitham with slight concern.

“Kaveh… Kaveh, I–” Alhaitham’s voice is filled with so much warmth, so much gentleness. “I love you so much.”

“Oh, that was sudden,” Kaveh simply breathes.

And finally, finally, Alhaitham pulls Kaveh in. His arms wrap tightly around his body, pulling him close. Then, he starts peppering kisses all over his face, starting from his forehead, then to his cheeks, and eventually lingering at his lips. Kaveh’s eyes shoot open at that, fully awake, as he lets out small sounds of surprise.

And then he giggles softly, allowing Alhaitham to peck his nose and hold him tightly. He thinks back to his mother’s words again.

I’m sure his heart explodes whenever you’re in the same room as him.

It’s at this very moment, that he understands the truth of his mother’s words.

On a normal day, Kaveh would push him away, teasing Alhaitham for being clingy. But tonight, just tonight, he allows Alhaitham to shower him with love, partly because he likes hearing Alhaitham hum so adorably with contentment, and partly because he enjoys the feeling himself.

“I love you,” Alhaitham whispers over and over again in between kisses.

Kaveh whines, squirming away from the ticklish feeling of Alhaitham’s lips. “Okay, wait, wait–” He giggles, his voice still scratchy from sleep. “Take a break, please, Haitham–”

“No.” Alhaitham needily plants his lips on his.

Kaveh pulls away quickly, feeling out of breath. “Are you– are you drunk? Is that why you’re so late?”

Alhaitham shakes his head. “I’m not drunk.”

“Alright…” Kaveh peers at him suspiciously. Alhaitham sure seems drunk, with the way he stares at Kaveh with a dazed look in his eyes. Though he’s not sure if he’s drunk on alcohol or… something else.

“I love you.”

Possibly drunk on love.

Alhaitham hugs Kaveh close, squeezing him. Kaveh yelps in shock.

“Why’d you wait for so long that you fell asleep?” Alhaitham murmurs.

“I wanted to see you.” Kaveh bashfully replies. “Is that so wrong?”

“No.” Alhaitham blinks. “But, I just…”

And typically, Alhaitham would come up with a sensible explanation. Perhaps something like, “lack of sleep is bad for you” or “I don’t think you should stay up for me.”

But instead, he wholeheartedly blurts out, “I can’t resist you.”

Definitely drunk on love.

Kaveh smiles teasingly. “Sorry, what?”

Alhaitham gives him an innocent, confused look–one that reminds Kaveh much like when he was younger and still shorter than him. “I can’t resist you,” he repeats again, louder this time.

“Ah…” Kaveh giggles. “Repeat that once more?”

Then, Alhaitham realizes. “Kaveh,” he warns.

“What?” Kaveh grins, wiggling closer to Alhaitham’s warm body, snuggling against his neck. “Thought you couldn’t resist.”

“I can’t,” Alhaitham quietly confirms.

“Hm?” Kaveh peers up at his face with a giddy smile. It’s not often that Alhaitham is so… vocal with his affections. Of course, he shows it in other ways. But hearing the words straight from his mouth is truly a fascinating experience.

“Everytime I see you, I can’t control myself. I become impulsive.” Alhaitham grumbles, frustrated at himself. “Foolishly,” he adds quietly.

Kaveh smiles.

There was one time, when Kaveh ran into Alhaitham at the Akademiya while he was at work. Alhaitham greeted him with a soft smile. Kaveh on the other hand, decided to greet him with a quick kiss on his lips. He remembers vividly, the way Alhaitham’s cheeks flushed and his eyes widened. It was like his brain stopped working at that moment.

A day later, news began going around, spreading to students, professors, all the way back to Kaveh himself in the span of just a few hours.

“The Akademiya scribe accidentally walked into a student lecture, rather than his own office, seeming to be in a complete daze.”

Alhaitham never heard the end of it from Kaveh ever since.

“So is that why you were pacing around the room just now?” Kaveh laughs. “You were holding back, weren’t you?”

Alhaitham winces. “Whatever,” he whispers, brushing a gentle hand through Kaveh’s soft hair. “I didn’t want to wake you up, that’s all.”

“Mmh. But eventually, you do know that we sleep in the same bed, right? What–were you just going to sleep on the floor because you didn’t want to wake me up?”

Alhaitham nods dutifully, making Kaveh giggle. “I’m willing to do that.”

“I was joking!” Kaveh groans into his chest. Alhaitham is quiet, though his heartbeat seems loud and clear. Kaveh lets out a deep breath and leans back to press a soft kiss to Alhaitham’s lips, reassuringly. “You do know that if you want to kiss me, you can wake me up, right?” His voice softens.

Alhaitham glances down at him with an unsure expression. That’s new.

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

Kaveh raises an eyebrow, completely in disbelief. “Since when did you worry about bothering me?” He asks, referring to the amount of times that Alhaitham’s shamelessly barged into his room while he was working, making him mess up.

Alhaitham only offers a mere shrug. “I don’t know.” He pauses.

Kaveh blinks, his hands fidgeting against Alhaitham’s chest. “You don’t know?”

“I don’t want to mess up.”

Alhaitham’s voice falters at the very end. Kaveh’s eyes are wide. This is the first time he’s ever admitted such a thing.

“Haitham…” Kaveh shuffles upwards so that he isn’t facing Alhaitham’s chest, but rather his face. He cups his cheek, squeezing it slightly before kissing him. “We’ve been together for a while now. You’ve seen me at my lowest and you know my weaknesses. Besides, who was it who told me that it’s okay to mess up in the first place?”

Alhaitham’s eyes dart away, thinking of the various times that he’s pressed a kiss to the top of Kaveh’s head, reminding him that a simple mistake won’t ruin everything. Some of these… instances even happened before they were dating, during the stage of their relationship where they were struggling to put a label on what exactly they were.

There was one time, that Alhaitham brought Kaveh to bed. Kaveh, tired and worn out, watched as Alhaitham told him with a soft smile:

“You could make a million mistakes and I’ll still look at you because I love you.”

And just as Alhaitham was about to leave and close the door behind him, Kaveh pushed himself out of the bed, grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a tight hug. And a few heartbeats later, he gained the courage to lean up and initiate their first kiss–one that turned into several more in the span of just five minutes. It’s a story kept between the two of them–a lovely one of how they became a couple.

“So why can’t you mess up?” Kaveh asks softly. “I won’t love you any less.” Alhaitham’s eyes are round, hopeful, and full of relief all at the same time. Kaveh smirks playfully. “You ought to follow your own advice sometimes,” he giggles. “You could make a million mistakes and I’ll always adore you.”

And yes, Kaveh changes the words at the very end but Alhaitham knows that it tells the same message nonetheless.

He looks at him with sparkles in his eyes. Slowly, he nods. “Okay.” He gives him a soft smile, tracing Kaveh’s figure with a warm hand.

“And I trust you’ll love me just as much?”

“Mmh, what do you think?” Alhaitham teasingly replies. Kaveh shivers under his touch, looking at Alhaitham with the prettiest smile he’s ever seen, such that the man curses under his breath.

“I think you’re awfully smitten.”

“Just like you want.”

“That you are correct,” Kaveh shamefully replies with a shy laugh.

Alhaitham gives him a fond look. Even though it’s hard to make out the exact curves and slopes of his face, Alhaitham finds Kaveh beautiful nonetheless. There are times that he sometimes struggles to focus on his work because he simply can’t believe that Kaveh is his. It’s truly a wonder that he can come home and let his eyes fall on his lover’s face and even have the privilege of kissing it all over.

It is then, that Alhaitham understands that the both of them could make a million mistakes and still love each other like how stars don’t change their position in the sky–they will always be together, no matter if the sky is cloudy and the world around them dims.

“I really can’t…” He surges forward, pulling Kaveh into a deep kiss. “...resist.”

“Then don’t.”

Alhaitham’s arms tighten and Kaveh curls against his body. In the midst of their kissing, they both begin to smile, giggling and utterly in love. Their hands roam, Kaveh occasionally pinching Alhaitham’s side just to see him jump adorably. In turn, Alhaitham will scratch at Kaveh’s nape lightly, imagining the way the skin blooms into a pretty, crimson color.

Slowly, Kaveh’s kisses start to slow down, his grip on Alhaitham’s hair loosening. Alhaitham notices and he follows suit, choosing to gently caress his back, still never letting any distance come between them.

At some point, Kaveh’s slow and loving movements come to a pause. Alhaitham pulls away and he smiles fondly, his gaze affectionate.

He fell asleep mid-kiss.

He was so focused on spoiling Kaveh with his love, that he forgot just how late it is. His thumb brushes against his eyelid, marvelling at his long eyelashes. Then, he swipes it under his eye, across his cheek, and then across his slightly swollen bottom lip. His finger traces his ear, down to his jaw, and then all the way to his pretty collarbone.

Alhaitham’s heart beats like a drum. He pulls Kaveh into his chest, wrapping the blankets tightly around their intertwined bodies.

And just then, right before he falls asleep with Kaveh safely in his arms, he comes to realize something.

Alhaitham once helped save a whole nation and its people. In the process of doing so, he’s gotten into painful fights and he’s had to face less-than-ideal truths. And so, he is a strong man, both through body and mind.

But as anyone else does, he has his weakness–a weakness that can so easily make him fall to his knees and make his mind melt into a fuzzy, lovesick, mess.

Kaveh.

Kaveh will always be his weakness.

Alhaitham has no issue with that.