Chapter Text
It was a mild day in the early summer when Lan Wangji found his way back to the Cloud Recesses. Returning home should have been a joyous occasion, certainly, after months of travel. Lan Wangji had been away for long enough time for his brother to have sent letters after him, asking for his return. The world needed Hanguang-jun’s cultivation, but his family missed his company.
In truth, he missed the Cloud Recesses as well. They did not seem to have changed much: the low-hanging mist and the tranquil pace of life were ever present. His soul rested here, despite itself. He’d walked up the mountain steps just to walk them, to take in the view.
A distraction came in the form of a servant, who walked up to him once he passed the entrance. He was a beta who Lan Wangji did not recognize. He must have been hired after he’d left.
“Hanguang-jun!” he bowed deeper than might have been necessary, clearly somewhat flustered for Lan Wangji’s presence. “We had not been notified of your arrival. I will relay the news to your uncle at once.”
Lan Wangji nodded. “Where may I find my brother?”
“The sect leader should be at the library pavilion,” the servant said. Something like displeasure flashed on his face as he continued, “If not, then Wei Wuxian might know better.”
“Wei Wuxian?”
“He will be at the library pavilion,” the servant said, then bowed again. “Hanguang-jun.”
The servant hurried off – as much as one did hurry in the Cloud Recesses, where running was not allowed – and Lan Wangji headed towards the library pavilion. It was a relief that he’d arrived during midday, as most of the sect was inside, carrying out their daily duties. Lan Wangji was stopped only a few times to exchange greetings.
He could hear whispers of “Hanguang-jun is back!” all around him, and was certain that, by the end of the day, the whole sect would be aware of this.
The library pavilion was not located too far. Next to it, the magnolia tree was in full bloom; when Lan Wangji had left, it had been bare.
Inside, more of the same followed. People bending in half to bow to him, small smiles gracing the faces of the Lan sect’s people. Scholars at work – Lan Wangji greeted them and left them to their tasks, deeper into the library to where his brother preferred to work.
In the room he could be most often found, however, there was only one person. An omega, copying a text. Lan Wangji stepped inside, letting the door slide shut behind him, but the man did not raise his eyes. He was clearly concentrating, eyebrows furrowed and eyes intense on the scroll he had open on the desk.
Lan Wangji was stuck staring. He had not seen this man before, he was certain of it. Indeed, it would have surely been impossible to forget such a person living in his home – someone who so shamelessly slouched against the table, the neckline of his black robes dipping too low and revealing too much smooth skin, and chewed on the end of his brush as if it was something sweet.
And then his eyes shot up, and Lan Wangji’s breath got lost somewhere between his lungs and throat. Instantly, the brush left his mouth, and a brilliant smile spread on the attractive face, eyes wide in apparent excitement.
“I thought it was Zewu-jun who walked in,” the man said, laughter in his tone, standing up fluidly. “But I can’t imagine there ever being such a serious expression on his face! Could it be – do I have the honor of being in the presence of the esteemed Hanguang-jun?”
He folded into a graceful bow. It somehow felt like Lan Wangji was being teased. His entire being felt stiff in the face of such strangely playful treatment.
“It is truly a pleasure to meet,” he continued. “This one’s called –“
“Wei Wuxian,” Lan Wangji said. This must have been the man the servant had mentioned.
It managed to make the man startled for a second, his lips rounding into an expression of surprise. Just as quickly, the smile was back.
“Ahah, has Hanguang-jun heard of me already?” he asked. “Through your brother or uncle? If it’s the latter, I’m sure there’s nothing I can say for my defense anymore. A shame!”
Lan Wangji found himself curiously unable to utter a single word in response. And Wei Wuxian had yet to correct his collar. Instead of looking at the scandalous sliver of skin, Lan Wangji dropped his gaze to the table. The man was indeed copying something, or at the very least making notes.
Was he a visiting noble from another sect? A companion of a higher-ranking omega in the Cloud Recesses? The manner with which he carried himself was certainly that of a cultivator, and the ability to read and write were not taught to just anyone.
Even his robes, while shamelessly loose, were finely embroidered. Not the simple design of a servant. Lan Wangji could discern flowers in there – lotus or peony? With another glance, he concluded an affiliation to the Jiangs.
“Neither,” Lan Wangji replied with a slight delay. “Why should it be a shame?”
“Now wouldn’t I be a fool to tell on myself like that? I’m afraid Hanguang-jun will have to find out for himself.” The man spoke lightly, though his words rang true. It was not too difficult for Lan Wangji to gather why his uncle would be displeased with a character such as him. His uncle had, after all, a preference towards people with conduct like Lan Wangji’s.
Having spent mere seconds in his presence, Lan Wangji could tell that the two of them had very little in common. He did not know why, then, he felt so oddly fixated, unable to tear his attention away from him.
“Hanguang-jun was looking for his brother, no?” the man guessed, tilting his head. Lan Wangji wondered if he did so purposely, as it drew attention to his beautiful, unmarked neck. “He should be back in a – ah.”
Behind him, the door opened. “So it’s true! Wangji, you’re back.”
His brother looked just as delighted as his voice implied. Lan Wangji greeted him, thankful for the distraction that allowed him to pull his eyes away from the man and ignore the itch under his skin. “Brother.”
“You got my letter, then! I wondered why no response came,” Lan Xichen said. “Did you travel far? Was your journey taxing?”
“No,” Lan Wangji replied. He glanced at the omega, standing attentively still.
Lan Xichen’s eyes followed his. “Ah, you’ve met Wei Wuxian.”
“Mn.”
“He’s been quite a bit of help here, while you’ve been away,” Lan Xichen said, his good opinion of the man blatant in the tone. Then again, his brother’s heart was notably tender for all kinds of personalities.
“Zewu-jun flatters me.” Despite the words, he seemed pleased.
“Flattery is forbidden,” Lan Wangji stated reflexively, and earned an amused burst of laughter from the man. It made something pool inside his stomach, a molten feeling. He could feel himself getting stiffer still.
“Wangji is right, of course,” Lan Xichen agreed. “Wei Wuxian, I’m afraid I must ask you to leave your books. You are needed in the Lanshi.”
With a bow and the same wicked smile, Wei Wuxian moved to the door. Before he could entirely leave, Lan Wangji stopped him. “Your collar.”
Wei Wuxian glanced down.
“Right it,” Lan Wangji ordered, and then, after getting a look from his brother, added, “...It is improper.”
Wei Wuxian did right his collar, though clearly holding in more laughter. Lan Wangji wanted to chastise him. Wipe the grin off of his face. A childish impulse, of course, but his usual disinterest towards other people had somehow crumbled in the presence of this omega.
When he was finally left alone with his brother, the look he was given was as amused as it was thoughtful.
Instead of any teasing words, though, his brother only implored him to sit down. “We have some things to discuss.”
-
“So you are to stay.” Lan Xichen smiled at him after a short explanation, true happiness in his eyes. “I’m glad. Uncle does not say it so directly, but I know he will be as well.”
Lan Wangji inclined his head. Their uncle had never been too expressive, but he was not afraid to show his approval, either. He would most likely say something such as, ‘it is only appropriate you stay’. Lan Wangji had been gone for a while, after all.
“It will do you good to settle down,” his brother said, still with delight. “Who knows, perhaps you’ll find an omega here. Uncle would be even happier to see children in the family, you know.”
“Brother,” Lan Wangji sighed. This teasing he had expected, however, and could brush it off easily. For as long as Lan Wangji remembered, he had not been interested in such matters. He doubted this would change.
“Is it not at all a possibility?”
Lan Wangji gave him a look, and changed the subject, “How have you been?”
“It has been quite busy here,” Lan Xichen admitted, mercifully letting him move on from the topic. “You would think these years as a sect leader would have made me more used to it, but it does get tiring at times…”
Lan Wangji was well aware how taxing the cultivation world’s politics were. He had chosen the easier route, going around and helping the common people. Of course, his brother would not see it this way; he found it virtuous of him to cultivate in this manner. There were many creatures of resentment that only a cultivator could make disappear, and many places with very few cultivators present.
Regardless, between the two of them, Lan Wangji felt his brother was the one in a more difficult position. Slaying a monster was one thing; keeping up good diplomatic relations with one a whole other.
“Ah. But you must not take this the wrong way,” Lan Xichen rushed to assure. “I am quite happy with my lot in life. It is only that recently, uncle has become more difficult about continuing the family line.”
“Mn.”
“And I am so busy,” Lan Xichen continued. The hint did not go unnoticed.
Lan Wangji ignored it all the same. It was an old conversation in their family, after all. Lan Wangji was at the most proper age to settle down and get married, and unlike his brother, he did not bear such a heavy responsibility over their sect. Their family, then, should have been his focus.
Yet the thought of finding someone to marry was mostly tiring. Lan Wangji preferred his solitude. Outside of his brother, he could not imagine feeling comfortable in someone’s presence to an extent where he could easily imagine sharing a life with them.
He would have to procreate as well. Lan Wangji moved his eyes to the window to distract himself from such a concerning line of thought.
“But I won’t force you to talk about such things now,” his brother said, after a couple long moments of silence. “You have long travels behind you. You should rest, and go see uncle.”
Lan Wangji nodded. He was certain someone had already gone and brought him all the necessities in the Jingshi. He wished for a bath and meditation.
“It’ll take some arranging, but I’m sure you would like to assume back the duties you had before your travels,” Lan Xichen stated, and Lan Wangji could not deny it. “Wei Wuxian should help you for a few days, to get you settled.”
At the name, Lan Wangji felt that spike of something again inside of him, as the image of that bright smile flashed through his mind.
“The omega.”
Lan Xichen frowned. “Wangji, surely you did not get offended?”
“No,” Lan Wangji replied.
“First meetings may not reveal someone’s true nature,” Lan Xichen said, softer this time. “Wei Wuxian is an extremely talented young man. He has a lively character, which at times does not work too well with the sect rules, but…”
Lan Xichen glanced at where Wei Wuxian’s scrolls were open. “He is truly exceptionally gifted.”
“I see.”
Lan Xichen looked at him for a moment, silent, before he huffed a laugh. “Do not be too hard on him. Improper robes or not.”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji agreed, if only to appease his brother. He would be as strict as he felt necessary. There were rules to be followed, if one was to live in the Cloud Recesses.
-
After giving a visit to his uncle, who indeed found it appropriate for Lan Wangji to have returned, he turned in. He took the long way around to the Jingshi, enjoying the quiet beauty of the recesses. The cool mountain air felt good against his skin after visiting so many sweltering hot places.
He passed mother’s house. It was a bit out of the way, somewhere between the main family’s dwellings and the servants’ side. Deep blue gentians surrounded it, still, and Lan Wangji felt a familiar ache in his chest.
There was no grave to visit, so he visited the house. Thought about her in her simple robes, brushing his hair while wearing the teasing smile. It had been years, so instead of a clear memory, he cherished the impression of the feeling.
After a few silent moments, he continued on.
The Jingshi seemed to have been left alone while he was away, though now it had clearly been cleaned up. No dust, and new sheets on the bed. A servant had brought him a bath, but he did not immediately go to it.
He thought about someone sharing this space with him, another person with their own particularities and preferences. There would be someone else’s books on his shelf, someone’s clothes in his wardrobe. Someone else would take a turn with his bath. An unpleasant notion.
He wondered, as well, how badly his uncle would react, should he tell him of these thoughts. Uncle had never been quite so lenient when it came to his own expectations for Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen.
He would likely find out soon enough, but first, he needed a good night’s sleep. He went to have his bath.
-
It was the omega who came to get him the next morning. Lan Wangji was not sure if the half an hour of delay between waking up and the man appearing was about him giving Lan Wangji the time to get ready for the day, or if Wei Wuxian had slept in.
It did seem like a possibility. His robes, once again, seemed hastily thrown on, his hair unruly, and he was yawning loudly as he waited on the porch of Lan Wangji’s house. The disarming smile appeared when Lan Wangji emerged, just as bright as the day before and just as effective in making Lan Wangji feel out of balance.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it, Hanguang-jun?” the man greeted, peering at him under his long lashes. “I hope you slept well?”
Lan Wangji nodded, and walked past him. As if unbothered by this dismissive treatment, Wei Wuxian only smiled and followed.
“It’s been a while since the esteemed Hanguang-jun has been home,” Wei Wuxian said. “Is there something he would like to know?”
“No.”
As if expecting the reply, Wei Wuxian only happily continued, “Ah, Hanguang-jun is so self-assured! Everyone was so pleased to have you back, even I got excited despite never having met you!”
Lan Wangji did not know how to respond to this. It was shameless talk, overly complimentary.
“It seems it’s true, what they’ve been saying…” Wei Wuxian continued, trailing off.
He took a moment to see if Lan Wangji would rise to the bait, and when he did not, Wei Wuxian unselfconsciously continued, “Hanguang-jun is indeed as handsome as rumored! No, even more so. In the list of most sought out alphas, did Hanguang-jun know he is second only to his brother? Personally, I would have put him first.”
Lan Wangji had known that, despite very much trying to stay unaware. As for what Wei Wuxian had said after...
“Shameless,” he snapped.
“What is?”
“This – flattery.” Lan Wangji stated. “Improper. You are an unattached omega.”
“Flattery is forbidden,” Wei Wuxian intoned in faux severity. He then laughed, “Haha, Second Master shouldn’t take this too seriously! I’m not angling for a post as a bed-warmer.”
Before Lan Wangji had the time to get over his shock at such a bold declaration, at such crass language, Wei Wuxian had already continued, “Besides, how does Hanguang-jun know I am unattached?”
As if he had not blatantly flaunted his unmarked neck just the day before. Unless he truly was as shameless as his flirtatious behavior suggested, Wei Wuxian was unmarried.
To say such a thing out loud would be too much for Lan Wangji, though, so instead he merely glared forward, keeping his profile cold and unwelcoming. Perhaps it would discourage the omega from further chatter.
This was too hasty an assumption, of course. One he would not have made, had he known Wei Wuxian in the slightest. It seemed his silence only made the man grow bolder.
“Hahaha, no way – did Hanguang-jun check? Should I be the one flattered?”
Voice colder than he perhaps intended, Lan Wangji ordered, “Enough.”
Surprisingly, Wei Wuxian indeed fell silent. It was clear he was still amused, eyes twinkling, but he did stay quiet. It was the space between implicit and explicit where he flourished, it seemed. In merciful silence, they continued walking, and Lan Wangji felt only slightly regretful over his loss of temper.
The man was getting under his skin.
“Xiansheng wished to speak to the Second Master again this morning,” Wei Wuxian said after a while of walking without speaking, and at the sound of his voice, Lan Wangji felt something in him settle a bit.
“Mn.”
“If I may ask, is it true that Hanguang-jun has decided to stay?” Wei Wuxian continued. Lan Wangji did not turn to look, but he more than felt the smile in his voice.
“Mn,” he confirmed.
The man hummed. “That’s good, that’s very good! I’ve heard much about Hanguang-jun’s proficiency. The juniors will be excited to get such an accomplished teacher!”
Again with the flattery. Lan Wangji decided firmly not to pay him any mind; this omega was clearly put here by the universe to serve as a test to his patience.
“And who knows – perhaps Hanguang-jun might find another reason to stay,” Wei Wuxian continued with his sing-songy tone. “After all, isn’t the Lan sect known for its beauties? There’s certainly many to choose from!”
“Superficial,” Lan Wangji reproached.
“Is it? I know another young master whose list of demands for an omega is longer than many of Xiansheng’s lectures! They should be beautiful, graceful and obedient, hard-working and thrifty, come from a respected family, and so forth! Does Hanguang-jun also have such a list?”
Lan Wangji did not ask who he was referring to, though the question was already on the tip of his tongue. He did not need to know any alphas with whom Wei Wuxian was acquainted.
He did not reply to the ridiculous question, either, and only gave the man a look.
“Really, Hanguang-jun shouldn’t look at this poor omega so meanly,” Wei Wuxian said. Teased. “Think of my delicate constitution!”
There was nothing especially delicate about the man, as far as omegas went. In fact, Lan Wangji had never met such a boisterous person, who dared to talk to him in such a way. He was not even discouraged by his harshness, or the frigid aura he was no doubt projecting.
“What will the other omegas in the Cloud Recesses think of such a cold face?”
Lan Wangji felt his ears redden. “Is there a reason you feel concerned for this?”
Finally, a hitch in the conversation from Wei Wuxian’s side. When Lan Wangji stole a glance of him, his cheeks seemed slightly flushed, though he schooled his expression back to the carefree one so fast Lan Wangji did not catch the one before.
“Hanguang-jun is right, of course,” he said lightly. “It is no concern of mine.”
They walked the rest of the way in silence.
-
“Adding to your earlier obligations, there is certainly always a need for a capable teacher,” Lan Qiren stated calmly, though Lan Wangji could hear from his tone he was pleased. “You are to take on the duty of main disciplinary as well.”
Lan Wangji nodded. At the side of the room, where usually only servants waited, Wei Wuxian was sitting. His posture was more proper in the presence of uncle, and from what Lan Wangji had gathered from the way his uncle had given him a stern look when they had arrived, this was something Wei Wuxian had been chastised for before.
“Wei Wuxian is aware of the study schedule as well as the older junior’s sword training. He will disclose the details,” Lan Qiren continued.
“Mn.”
“While I do expect you to help Xichen in his work and attend the bigger conferences with him, you must concentrate on your own duties.” His uncle leveled his eyes on Wei Wuxian, the disapproval in them clear. “Wei Wuxian has been joining groups on night hunts recently, as per your brother’s wishes, but it would be prudent for you to be in charge of them in the future.”
He could feel Wei Wuxian’s eyes on him, but did not look up to meet them. He did not find the order unexpected. His uncle was clearly aware of Wei Wuxian’s wild nature, and felt confident Lan Wangji was better equipped to handle it than whoever the teacher in charge had been before.
Though sending Wei Wuxian along with a group, led only by one teacher, spoke of the level of confidence his brother had in him. He was clearly not of their sect, still. He would have been wearing their cloud-patterned white robes otherwise.
Lan Wangji nodded.
He would be spending a considerable amount of time in the presence of this man. The prospect sat strange with him, a discomfort of sorts he had not experienced before.
Then, he was also indeed the one enforcing discipline in the sect. Should Wei Wuxian act out of line, Lan Wangji would be ready to dish out a proper punishment.
-
Settling back to the rhythm of the Cloud Recesses was easy. Lan Wangji was suited for it, by nature and by upbringing. All of it – the rules, the strict schedule, the quietness – felt as natural as breathing.
Before his departure, he had sometimes helped his uncle with teaching. While Lan Qiren was the one doing most of the actual education, Lan Wangji had taken juniors out to hunt many times before. These things were familiar to him. Comforting.
The only disruption was this omega that had been thrust upon him, so suddenly without a warning. Lan Wangji was well qualified to handle troublemakers, but this one seemed like he’d had practice in evading the punishments, toeing the lines of rule-breaking yet never truly crossing them.
He did not walk in the calm pace of others in the sect, and instead moved fluidly, like ink underwater, around and around Lan Wangji. One moment he was at his right side, pointing at the newly expanded training grounds. I bully your juniors there, sometimes – ha! I meant I help them train, no need to take my words so literally!
Not speaking in a misleading manner was a rule, and Lan Wangji wanted to remind him of this, but then Wei Wuxian had already slipped to his left side, explaining the schedule of each class, and where they were being held. He seemed to remember them all well, talking effortlessly while gesturing at whichever building they passed.
He implied broken rules with his words, then immediately denied them. Drinking Emperor’s smile while watching the moon is one of the most fun things to do here. If you lie on top of that wall you get a beautiful view, since there are no trees in the way! Hahaha, or so I’ve heard. Obviously I have never tried it.
Breaking curfew, drinking alcohol, sneaking past guards, lying about not doing it. Lan Wangji was more and more doubtful of his brother’s judgment. Wei Wuxian only smiled and moved on.
They were thrown curious looks as they made their way through the recesses. It was clear everyone was already in the know about Lan Wangji’s return, so instead of delighted surprise, the sect members had moved on to apparent interest.
Lan Wangji took note of how some of the servants threw displeased looks in Wei Wuxian’s way. It made him take a longer look at Wei Wuxian himself. Often, being disliked by servants meant one was acting inappropriately or cruelly towards them. This was somewhat difficult to believe of Wei Wuxian, though.
In fact, he was leaning on the complete opposite theory. The source of these dark looks must have been the shamelessness, the overt friendliness the man seemed to extend to anyone he talked to. Such a bold behavior, especially from an omega, was heavily frowned upon here.
The servants that did not show contempt towards Wei Wuxian were the majority, though, and once they spotted him, they invariably seemed glad to be greeted with such enthusiasm. Wei Wuxian did not shout his good mornings, but it might have only been because of Lan Wangji’s presence.
By the time they arrived at the library pavilion, Lan Wangji had gotten a slightly clearer picture of the man next to him.
Still, something in him felt the need to state, somewhat irritably: “Restraint is a virtue.”
Wei Wuxian’s hand lowered where it had been waving at another servant again. The man’s expression melted into amusement.
“Hanguang-jun sounds like his uncle,” he said. “Is it bad to be nice to people? Did I do something wrong just now?”
“…” He really couldn’t chastise amiability, could he? He was not unreasonable. It was only the way he did it, with no care for…propriety.
Still, Lan Wangji did not comment, and instead asked, “What are your tasks in the sect?”
He had thought to query his brother later, though something about the idea made him hesitate. Perhaps it was the possible teasing. Whenever it came to talking about omegas, his brother took note of the choice of topic, even if it did not have anything to do with Lan Wangji’s personal interest.
“Hm? I help around with the training, mostly, and Zewu-jun with various things,” Wei Wuxian replied. “I’m not allowed to do any actual teaching, of course. Even by accident – Xiansheng thinks my ideas are preposterous!”
“Your ideas.”
Wei Wuxian waved his hand. “I shouldn’t upset Hanguang-jun with that stuff. Let’s just say that your uncle finds me too liberal with my thoughts and how I present them. In fact, he made me copy the rules ten times when I first came here. Ten times! I considered heading to Qinghe Nie at that point, but that would’ve been far too ungrateful – ah. In any case, I know the rules by heart now! I couldn’t forget them even if I wanted to.”
Lan Wangji blinked. Ungrateful?
“He made me spar with some of the seniors, though, and even he couldn’t deny that my skill could be put in use,” Wei Wuxian continued before Lan Wangji had the time to ask, and there was easy confidence in his words. “And before Hanguang-jun worries too much, I am not allowed to dally around with the disciples in my spare time. Especially not with the alphas. See, not improper at all!”
Lan Wangji did not huff, but the exhale through his nostrils was perhaps a bit sharper than he would have liked to.
“You come from Yunmeng?” he asked, to not let the man grow too amused.
“Yes,” Wei Wuxian agreed, and for the first time, did not immediately offer more information.
Surprised despite himself, Lan Wangji turned to look at him. The topic was one Wei Wuxian clearly did not wish to discuss, evident from the way his head was turned away, the smile still visible on his face but somewhat more artificial.
“I see,” Lan Wangji said. Then, “How long have you been here?”
“Only some months.” Wei Wuxian turned back to him, grin widening. “Half a year? Time moves slower in the Cloud Recesses, especially when one is expected to behave!”
Lan Wangji had a feeling every sect would expect one to behave, though how strictly these rules were enforced in Yunmeng was left obvious. Surely no sect focused on virtue would create a person such as Wei Wuxian. Or perhaps, against the nature of him, there was not a sect with strong enough discipline.
His posture was improper again. Lan Wangji wanted to personally ensure it was corrected. Before he could, though, Wei Wuxian stepped in front of him again and bowed.
“I’m afraid I have other tasks to attend to now. If Hanguang-jun has more questions, though, I’d be more than happy to help,” he said.
Lan Wangji only nodded, and to his shame, stayed in place for a moment too long watching after Wei Wuxian before he got himself to move.
-
Lan Wangji slipped back into his earlier role easier than he could have imagined. After he’d left, he’d been certain, for a while, that some aspects of staying in the Cloud Recesses would always make him ache. It had felt almost unbearable back then, right after his father’s death.
Now, the ache was still there, but it was quite a bit easier to ignore. He had not known his father too well, and after the realization of his relationship with his mother, his death saddened Lan Wangji only in the way one mourned lost opportunities.
His father had spent most of his life in seclusion. Despite how things were, Lan Wangji had been much closer to his mother, who they were allowed to see once a month. In the first six years of his life, he saw her more than he had seen his father in the twenty years after.
They were both gone now, and the only ones carrying the shame of it were the remaining family.
It was easy to ignore it, now. There was much to do, as Lan Xichen was so focused on his duties as a sect leader. He spent days on end responding to letters from other sects, placating nobles and keeping up good relations. Lan Wangji preferred to stay out of his way. They shared dinner by the end of the day, and he suspected it would continue this way for a while.
Uncle had him check some exams immediately, which he found quite meditative. Often he carried out tasks like these in the peace of the Jingshi, but perhaps he’d gotten enough solitude during his time away, as he found himself taking use of the library pavilion’s workrooms.
Wei Wuxian could often be found there as well. He seemed to be copying things, papers spread all over the desk in an unkempt manner, concentration clear on the line of his brows. He hummed and shuffled and made all kinds of distracting noises, and scribbled things on whichever paper he happened to reach.
It was not that Lan Wangji purposely took note of this. It was merely impossible to not notice, when sharing a room.
The man himself seemed to notice Lan Wangji’s presence almost immediately, but then did not bother standing up for a bow after the few times Lan Wangji had raised his hand and told him ‘no need’. It seemed he was often left alone to it.
Lan Wangji did not let his eyes linger. It did not sit well with him, that he had to make a conscious effort of it.
The first time he watched over the junior’s training, Lan Wangji found himself yet again surprised. The class seemed somehow less serious than it had been before he’d left, even when the disciples were not acting visibly out of line. It was the energy Wei Wuxian brought – he greeted the kids in the same amicable fashion he did with everyone else before making them show off the skills they’d gained under his watch. They had advanced considerably.
One of them, a beta who had once struggled with his footwork, seemed to have almost surpassed his peers in it. Even the ones that had once lacked motivation did the moves with newfound spirit.
“Come now, you need to impress Hanguang-jun for me!” Wei Wuxian cheered as the disciples went through their forms. “If he finds my assistance lacking, he’ll surely demote me!”
The threat, while holding no basis, seemed to work on the kids. It was clear they did not want to lose their teacher. Lan Wangji did not correct this false assumption. He was too focused on his own astonishment.
Next to him, Wei Wuxian was grinning and watching intently for his reaction. He’d at first stood too close, and the burst of laughter he’d let out at Lan Wangji’s step back was still lingering on his features. So easy to smile, even in such severe surroundings.
“Is Hanguang-jun pleased with my humble efforts?” he asked, as if it was not obvious that he excelled in the role of a teacher.
Lan Wangji wondered if he’d once taught the disciples of the Jiang.
“Mn,” he admitted, and when there was no immediate reply, he dared to turn his eyes on Wei Wuxian again.
Slight dust of pink colored his cheeks, but the man was quick to turn to his humor: “Ah, was it this easy to win Hanguang-jun’s approval? I should have led you here to watch them at our first meeting!”
Ridiculous. Lan Wangji’s approval was neither difficult nor easy to gain. Acknowledging accomplishments was nothing to comment on.
“Has Hanguang-jun’s opinion of me now turned for the better?” Wei Wuxian asked.
Lan Wangji ignored him.
“Hahaha, I suppose I’ll have to try harder, then!”
It was blatantly obvious the man did not need to try. Lan Wangji did not say this; instead, he felt the sudden need to do something other than stand next to him and listen to the melodic rhythm of his voice.
He made the disciples spar, and did not let his thoughts stray from the task at hand.
-
”Uncle has become more...” Lan Xichen said, ”concerned for us, lately.”
Lan Wangji nodded. He was standing by the window, looking to the courtyard where Wei Wuxian was talking to an alpha servant he had not seen before. They were standing close, and while it was Wei Wuxian who was leaning in and laughing, there was a shy smile on the face of the clearly more timid alpha.
Behind him, sitting by his desk, Lan Xichen continued, “He seems to be of the mindset that our lineage is in danger, should we not get married soon.”
Wei Wuxian placed a hand on the alpha’s shoulder, saying something clearly complimentary, as the alpha blushed. Lan Wangji could feel his own face shape into a frown.
“I did my best to reassure him that these things happen naturally in due time.”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji replied.
“It is only that he has been so insistent on it,” his brother sighed. “I am sure he has been influenced by the elders.”
Lan Wangji was sure of it. The lineage talk had not come too often before his travels, but in the time he had spent away, he was sure Lan Qiren had been approached about the topic by the concerned parties enough times to make it an issue for him and his brother now.
“I cannot blame him for being invested,” Lan Xichen said. “It is about our future, after all...”
Their future. Lan Wangji could have gone about the rest of his life with no such worries about marriage. Unfortunately, he had not been blessed with an indifferent uncle.
On the other side of the courtyard, Wei Wuxian’s hand was still on the alpha’s shoulder. While it was Lan Wangji’s own preference to avoid physical contact, it was not strictly forbidden. Though a noble having such a close relationship with a person of lower status was certainly something that would raise eyebrows.
Especially a noble omega and an alpha servant.
”Mn,” he replied, a bit delayed.
“I do not know how to explain it to him any clearer,” Lan Xichen replied. “I do not have the time, and as for you, ah...I am sure you would prefer not to get into an arranged relationship.”
The alpha said something that made Wei Wuxian throw back his head and laugh with his full body. Under his sleeve, Lan Wangji’s hand twitched.
“You should talk to him about it. Uncle would like to hear your opinion as well,” Lan Xichen concluded. Then after a pause, “Wangji, are you well? How have you found it, being back home?”
“I am well.”
The words were not untruthful. His home had received him gently as ever. The past weeks, his days had stayed quite consistent. The mornings he spent doing all kinds of paperwork from sect matters to education, and the evenings he taught junior disciples proper fighting.
The first few days Wei Wuxian had helpfully advised him, whether he asked for it or not, and for the rest of the time their schedules were similar enough to never quite escape his presence. Not that Lan Wangji tried. He was – indifferent to Wei Wuxian’s presence.
He rarely saw him in the dining hall, or any kind of official sect meetings. A few times he’d caught himself scanning the room for him, which was an unfortunate habit he’d snuffed quite fast.
He spent a lot of time meditating in the evenings. It was good for his core.
“Is there something happening outside?” Lan Xichen asked.
Lan Wangji snapped out of it. Without giving Wei Wuxian and the alpha he was fawning on any more attention, he moved from the window and sat down.
His brother looked at him for a second before raising an eyebrow. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes,” Lan Wangji said with a bit too much emphasis.
Lan Xichen glanced at the window, though the angle did not allow him to see much of anything but the sky and the roofs of other buildings. Lan Wangji found himself to be profoundly glad of this.
-
Unlike most of the alphas his age, Lan Wangji was not used to running hot. He was not especially prone to lascivious thoughts or inability to focus due to someone’s attractiveness. Whenever he used the cold pond, it was merely for meditative purposes.
This time, when he headed out for a bath, he could not deny the need to calm himself for other reasons as well. He had noted a certain lack of discipline in his own mind as of late, straying to places it had no business going. He needed to center himself again.
Unfortunately, he did not realize the pond was occupied before he got too close. Most often, people left a talisman or other sign to prevent others from walking in on them; this time, the person had not thought to do so.
His breath got lodged in his throat.
Frozen, Lan Wangji could not do anything but stare as Wei Wuxian’s unclothed form walked deeper into the water. He was clearly shivering, holding his own arms and rubbing them up and down, letting out whimpers and small curses.
Some higher thought in his brain should have told him to cast his eyes, to turn away and not pry on what was clearly a private moment, an omega soaking himself not for the pleasure of other’s leering gaze but for his own health and hygiene.
Still, Lan Wangji’s eyes were stuck on the beautiful shape of him.
His skin was smooth and untouched, shoulders tapering down into a slim waist, small enough for any hands holding him to look bigger than they truly were. Down past the small of his back, the curve of his ass rounded out considerably. It had looked...sizable, covered in clothing. Lan Wangji had not meant to look, but had noticed either way. And now Wei Wuxian was there, bared entirely.
Lan Wangji could not breathe.
Arousal hit him like a tidal wave, almost making him take a step back to keep himself upright. He wanted to sink his teeth into that bottom, see for himself if it was as soft as it looked.
He wanted to push Wei Wuxian against the rocks by the side of the pond and ravish him so thoroughly he would not be able to utter any teasing words, only let out moans so loud people could hear them all the way back in the public areas. Lan Wangji wanted to push into him deep and stay there for hour after hour, until his pent up frustration would be all but a faint memory.
And then Wei Wuxian stilled, the water reaching his lean hips, and Lan Wangji jerked his gaze away as if burned. He turned around and rushed out, heedless of the rules on proper speed of walking.
The blood rushing in his ears prevented him from hearing any kind of surprised noise Wei Wuxian might have made.
He did not slow down until he was back at the Jingshi, shivering with shame and the heat in his veins.
-
“Hanguang-jun.”
Lan Wangji kept his gaze down on the paper he was marking, but this did not discourage Wei Wuxian. The man sat next to him by the table. The distance was polite enough to keep Lan Wangji from commenting on it, but the effect of courtesy was immediately ruined by the amused tone, as the man continued, “Is there something bothering you this fine evening?”
The hot flash of shame did not appear on his face, but Lan Wangji felt it deeply in his stomach.
“It’s especially beautiful weather outside,” Wei Wuxian continued. “A bit too hot, perhaps! Cold spring weather, maybe?”
Lan Wangji did not know what to say. The thought of apologizing had passed his mind, but this kind of teasing was what he had desperately wanted to avoid. Wei Wuxian’s knowing eyes on him, reading through his thoughts so easily, was an unbearable notion.
“A bit risky, of course, bathing there when anyone could just walk in,” the man sighed.
This time, Lan Wangji could not help the glare he sent his way. “One is expected to use an alerting talisman.”
His answer was a wide grin. “But most people here know I often visit the spring at this one set time.”
Somehow, this made Lan Wangji feel even angrier, the taste of vinegar strong on his tongue as he took in the words.
“Then, is there not more reason to do so?”
Wei Wuxian blinked, then let out a guffaw. “Is Hanguang-jun implying I want people to spy on me while I bathe?”
Gritting his teeth, Lan Wangji turned back to his work. The conversation was nonsense.
“Ah, don’t be angry,” Wei Wuxian said, his voice getting gentler and quieter. “I only meant to come here to make sure Hanguang-jun wasn’t wallowing in guilt after such a terrible accident.”
His gaze stilled on the paper. Of course he had witnessed the kindness from Wei Wuxian before. He had seen the way he encouraged the juniors at the training field, and he had not once heard the man turn anyone down when his help was required. Still, Lan Wangji found himself a bit helplessly surprised.
Most omegas would have used the situation to their advantage, after all. Lan Wangji was known to be a righteous man, and even with his less-than-appropriate reaction to what had happened, he would have certainly offered to make amends, had Wei Wuxian wished him to do something to correct it.
“I’ll be sure to guard my virtue better in the future, alright?” Wei Wuxian said. “It may surprise Hanguang-jun to hear, but this is the first time such a thing happened, so it was not a concern for me before.”
“It is fine,” Lan Wangji said finally, feeling somehow even more shameful.
Had he himself not been the one acting unvirtuously? He should have been the one to seek out Wei Wuxian and beg for his apology. It needed not be mentioned what he’d experienced inside while watching his unclothed figure in the water, but a word of regret would not have been misplaced here.
Lan Wangji looked up again with resolve, and did not falter at Wei Wuxian’s open face. “I apologize.”
The man grinned again, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “No need, no need! With anyone else, I might have to accuse them of having salacious motives, but with Hanguang-jun, I can rest easy knowing nothing untoward was happening!”
Averting his eyes, Lan Wangji nodded. The weight on his heart was heavy.
“Anyway, I’ll leave Hanguang-jun to his tasks now,” Wei Wuxian said then, standing up. “I have my own to attend to as well, of course.”
“Mn.”
Lan Wangji watched him walk over to his own desk, and did not let his attention wander towards the sway of his hips, or the swell of his rear. These thoughts were now as criminal as his silence before.
-
Lan Wangji could not move on. Having once allowed the stream of thoughts to flow without resistance during that ill-timed visit to the spring, it had rushed with such strength it was now impossible to divert its course. It was a million drops of images that should not have been there, a current made out of all the emotions someone with a title Hanguang-jun should have been able to let go. He was drowning in them instead.
It had been impossible to look at Wei Wuxian without a flare of irritation, a comment on his bearings and lack of respect towards the rules. Lan Wangji had done nothing but lied to himself from the first time. He knew he was utterly entranced by him, by the very essence of his being.
He had childishly attempted to distract himself – and Wei Wuxian – from it by being rude, snapping rules at him, as if the standoffish behavior would mask what went on underneath. But surely Wei Wuxian could see through him, with the way he smiled, laughed, and teased? Surely he had known the entire time just how much effect he had on him?
He was kind, was the thing. Lan Wangji would have been a liar not to admit it. With all the playful comments, poking at where Lan Wangji was the most tender, one could have attempted to deny it. But Wei Wuxian was the sort of person who had his privacy violated and then went out to make sure the offending party was not upset.
He was kind, and did not respect the rules of their sect, and made his daily mission to make Lan Wangji lose his temper, and had earned both the complete adoration and heated disapproval of the people in the sect, and Lan Wangji had hopelessly fallen for him from the moment he’d first laid eyes on him.
Despite the way Lan Wangji had treated him, he was certain Wei Wuxian would give him another chance at it. Getting to know him, at the very least. And if he was especially fortunate, the man would let him court him officially.
Even the thought of it made Lan Wangji feel a bit light-headed. An official courtship was something he had never once in his life considered, but now, it felt like nothing less could make him be at peace again. Bringing Wei Wuxian gifts, spending time with him, cooking food for him, shutting him up before he could make another shameless comment –
Lan Wangji watched Wei Wuxian correct a junior’s posture, his hands fast in motion and his clever tongue even more so. A few hairs had fallen into the nape of his neck from his high ponytail, unkempt. Lan Wangji imagined pulling off the red ribbon, letting his hair fall free.
The enormity of his desire, his regard for the man, felt disorienting.
“Hanguang-jun,” one of the juniors said, bringing his attention back to the task at hand. “Am I doing it right?”
Lan Wangji watched the junior swing his sword, at the end almost toppling over. “Widen your stance.”
“Like this?”
“Mn. Try it again.”
The junior repeated the movement with less wobbliness, clearly nervous about having Lan Wangji’s eyes on him. Despite this, the disciple did an admirable job.
“You did it correctly,” Lan Wangji said, and the youth beamed at him. “Continue.”
With newfound energy, the junior started repeating the movements. Lan Wangji watched him for a moment, before his attention inevitably drifted back to what everything seemed to circle here, the point of gravity.
Wei Wuxian was already watching him, head tilted and a soft smile on his face. When their eyes met, the man looked a bit caught-out for a fleeting second, before a wide smile split his face. Unconcerned of the notion of propriety, as always.
“Hanguang-jun,” he said, walking to where Lan Wangji was standing. “Don’t you know it’s bad for people when you compliment them like that?”
Lan Wangji blinked at him.
“I’m being serious!” Wei Wuxian said, his grin luminous. “The way you say it is just too honest! It always sounds like you truly do mean it.”
“Ridiculous,” Lan Wangji stated, because it was. Perhaps Wei Wuxian could let his mouth run without a second thought for what was true and what was not, but Lan Wangji did not lie.
“I can’t imagine getting a compliment from Hanguang-jun.” Wei Wuxian’s voice grew higher, took on a whiny tone. “I would die! My heart simply couldn’t take it!”
Again, ridiculous. The lobes of Lan Wangji’s ears were heating, still. It was as if his body could not help but feel the effects of Wei Wuxian’s flirt even against his resolve to ignore it.
“Improbable.”
“Is it? We should test it out,” Wei Wuxian said, then lowered his voice into a whisper, “Hanguang-jun, when you saw me in the spring, did you find me pleasing?”
Underneath his robes, Lan Wangji’s heart was trying to beat its way out of his chest. This was provocation, something Wei Wuxian said in order to make Lan Wangji lose control of his temper and snap. It often ended up like this, with Wei Wuxian’s bright laughter filling the silence of the recesses while Lan Wangji fumed.
This time, Lan Wangji swallowed the embarrassment, and turned to look Wei Wuxian in the eye. “Yes.”
It certainly was not something the man had expected, as his eyes widened, and a deep red color started painting his cheeks. For the first time, Wei Wuxian seemed visibly flustered by him. Something in Lan Wangji stirred, reveling in the realization that something he had said could cause such a reaction.
In the end, Wei Wuxian did laugh, but the sound of it was a bit higher than normal. “Hahaha, Hanguang-jun!
Hearing such words, I indeed almost died just then! Think of my poor heart, would you?”
Lan Wangji did not sigh, but he did let out a deep exhale through his nose. He wanted to ask – wanted to know if there was even a hint of sincerity to the act. Whether Wei Wuxian truly found him just another heart to play with and discard, or if there was a chance to go after him.
“In any case, shouldn’t we be wrapping this up? The kids have been doing a lot today already,” the man continued, not waiting to hear Lan Wangji’s answer.
The moment was broken, so Lan Wangji only nodded. But he had not asked the question, and would make sure to get another chance in the near future. He needed only to ask.
-
Another chance presented itself a few days later, when he caught Wei Wuxian outside the main area, near the back of the mountain, where Lan Wangji often retreated to get away from people. The scent of blooming trees was strong in the air, offering a sense of romanticism only proper for such a discussion.
Wei Wuxian was leaning against a tree, playing a flute quite expertly. There were always new ways with which the man kept impressing him.
Led to the forest by the sound, Lan Wangji could not help but stay quiet for a while and study him. Such a carefree presence, a breath of fresh air in the confines of his sect’s strictness. Wei Wuxian could rarely be found alone, as social as he was, but it seemed he had found him in one of those scarce moments of solitude.
In the shadow of the tree, surrounded by the sweet melody of the strange song he was playing, Lan Wangji found himself a tad nervous.
He did not consider himself an undeserving suitor. He had a strong sense of self, and was not disillusioned of the value he could bring to an omega, whether it be material or social. A high-ranking cultivator, a rich noble, and a person who could find both his manners and virtues respectable.
Lan Wangji was not self-conscious. Then, anything presented to such a person as Wei Wuxian would have to be extraordinary.
Surely there was no one who could truly deserve Wei Wuxian. The only thing Lan Wangji could do was to aim to fill whatever role was needed of him, to please him.
Suddenly, the music came to a halt, and Wei Wuxian’s eyes found him.
“Are you going to stand there in silence the entire evening?” he asked, the tone airy. “Hanguang-jun, am I needed somewhere?”
“No,” Lan Wangji said, not especially surprised to know Wei Wuxian had noticed his presence. He had not attempted to hide himself.
“Hm, just enjoying the show, then? That’s fine.” The man relaxed further against the tree, eyes twinkling. “I’m an entertainer at heart, you know! Just tell me a song and I might play it to you!”
“I wished to talk to you,” Lan Wangji said, and in his surprise, Wei Wuxian dropped his hands back down from where he had already raised the flute to his lips.
Instead of letting Wei Wuxian come to him, Lan Wangji made his way to the shade of the tree. This close, he could see a few petals had fallen into the man’s hair. He reached out and gently flicked one off. Wei Wuxian’s wide eyes followed the movement.
“What is it?” he asked, after Lan Wangji did not start himself. There was a hint of bafflement to the man’s smile, as he watched him. “Have I done something?”
“No,” Lan Wangji said, though it was not quite true.
Wei Wuxian had been, which had apparently been enough to set something aflame inside of him. Lan Wangji did not believe there had been any conscious effort, other than to tease and probe without a care for the consequences.
“Then what is it? Hanguang-jun looks so serious, I’m worried,” the man said, smile widening just that much. It had an edge of playfulness in it as well.
“No need,” Lan Wangji assured.
He had thought about what he would have liked to say, to make his intentions clear. That Wei Wuxian had enthralled him, body and soul, and now he desperately wished to get to know him in a way that would lead to a happy union one day.
To start a courtship with Wei Wuxian meant days filled with his presence. Stolen kisses, lingering touches, sweet, painfully teasing chatter by his ear. Lan Wangji would do his utmost to convince Wei Wuxian he could offer him a life worth considering, and Wei Wuxian would only have to say yes and continue saying yes until they were bowing thrice and were completely each other’s.
But before that, Lan Wangji had to make the offer.
Slowly, he reached down to pick up one of the gentians by the tree, beautifully deep blue in its color. If there had been variety to choose from, Lan Wangji would have picked a rose the same color of Wei Wuxian’s ribbon.
He straightened, and then turned to Wei Wuxian, whose smile had not faltered but whose eyebrows had gained a line between them, confusion evident.
Lan Wangji handed the flower to him, and with one meaningful look, wished to convey all of the feelings he did not know how to put into words.
Frowning, Wei Wuxian looked at him, and then the flower, and then at him. There was the slightest bit of red again on his cheeks, as he seemed to blink himself into a realization.
“Ah, haha, I don’t think I understand…” the man said, his voice a bit hoarse. He seemed to be staring at the flower, transfixed, as if it could bring him the answer.
A moment of silence passed, and then Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened, and his gaze was again on Lan Wangji.
“But,” he said, a bit helpless, “I’m a servant.”
And just like that, everything went still. Lan Wangji could hear nothing but the rush of blood in his ears, could see nothing but the blatant confusion on Wei Wuxian’s face, and the words filled the space of his mind completely and utterly.
No, that cannot be true, was Lan Wangji’s immediate thought. The gut reaction that was so visceral he almost felt numb with it. Surely it did not make sense. Wei Wuxian was learned, he was skilled, his tasks were that of a noble, his clothes were finely made, he –
He sat by the servants side when meeting uncle, he talked to the servants as his peers, he had never once outwardly talked back to Lan Wangji or anyone else here, he had never shown up in the gatherings where only nobles were allowed.
The reality of the past weeks cracked, his shameful naivete brought to the forefront of the conversation.
Wei Wuxian watched his face grow blanker, and the flush on his face was replaced with a sickly shade of paleness. “You didn’t know.”
In Lan Wangji’s mind, he saw himself as a six-year-old, visiting his mother for one of the last times. She’d been beautiful, and so skilled in cultivation. She had not had any noble rank – his father had married her to the shame of the whole sect, and had gone into seclusion for it.
Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen had not been hers to raise. She did not have a rank. She had not been a noble.
The gentian in Wei Wuxian’s hand was twisting a bit, the man’s hold on it tight.
Lan Wangji would be able to bring him nothing. No position as his official spouse, no courtship, no wedding. Any children of theirs would be brought up by himself only, or cast aside to grow as a servant. Wei Wuxian, in all of his brilliance, was not of an acceptable bloodline. The laws did not allow Lan Wangji to have him in any respectable way.
He drew in a shaky breath, as Wei Wuxian folded in two in front of him, the bow so deep he could not see his face.
“I apologize,” the man said, “for leading Hanguang-jun on with my shameless behavior. I will take any punishment.”
In such a situation, it was Wei Wuxian who took the blame. His words from before rang suddenly in Lan Wangji’s mind, a comment about him not angling to become Lan Wangji’s bedwarmer. There had never been any confusion from Wei Wuxian’s side – there could never be anything but that, shameful and hidden, between them.
None of it had meant anything. The words, the laughter, the flirtation.
Feeling sick to his stomach, Lan Wangji could do nothing but turn around and walk away. He could hear Wei Wuxian straightening up, but the man did not call after him. A servant had no such privileges.
-