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Tatsumi Port Island wasn’t exactly what Kotone had imagined. It had been a little dingy when she’d arrived, but she’d adjusted, and then after a couple of days a giant monster had attacked the dorm.
Eyes stared from a blank-faced mask, and a myriad twitching arms reached up to the building’s rooftop. Kotone stared, still not entirely convinced she wasn’t dreaming; she turned sideways, to ask Yukari what was happening, only to see Yukari holding a gun to her own head.
“That bad huh?” Kotone said.
“Just need to…” Yukari said.
The monster surged closer - a flailing limb smacked the gun from Yukari’s hand before she could psych herself up, knocking Yukari halfway across the rooftop. The twitching mass of limbs paused a moment, then turned away from Kotone, bearing down on Yukari.
Kotone blinked. Then her gaze dipped down, seeing the gun discarded on the ground. She knelt, still feeling faintly numb, picking it up. She hadn’t held a gun before - still, something about it felt wrong.
The seething mass of limbs was still poised to lunge at Yukari. Kotone didn’t hesitate - she saw what Yukari had been about to do, and hey, what was the worst that could happen?
She pressed the gun to her temple and pulled the trigger with a smile on her face, and the world changed.
Evokers and Personas, Tartarus and Shadows. The last few days had been a whirl of new concepts and ideas. She’d ended up actually talking more with the other residents of her dorm. Apparently showing up in a new city and seeing coffins everywhere wasn’t just a local quirk.
There was a knock at her door. Kotone answered quickly; she’d learned from last time that if someone tried to get her attention at the dorm, it was better to answer fast. Still, rather than the announcement of another shadow attack, it was just Yukari.
“You doing okay?” she said.
“You know it!” Kotone said. She beamed.
“I’m glad,” Yukari said. “If you need anyone to talk to, I’m right next door, okay? I remember how hard it was the first time I found out about all of this.”
“Thanks,” Kotone said. “I think I’m good. Can pick it up as I go, I hope.”
“That’s good,” Yukari said. She grimaced. “Sorry, I’m projecting I guess.”
Kotone tilted her head.
“You did it without hesitating,” Yukari said. “Used my Evoker, I mean - I’d seen Kirijo-senpai use hers for days, and I’d never been able to talk myself into using it even knowing what it was. It felt mad to point a gun at my head and pull the trigger. You just picked it up and used it - did you know what it did?”
“I saw you using it,” Kotone said. She shrugged. “It wasn’t like it could make things much worse.”
“That’s…” Yukari began. She hesitated, seeing Kotone’s grin: “I wish I had your strength.”
Strength? Kotone remembered being called a lot of things, though she wasn’t sure strong had ever been one of them.
“I’m glad you’re dealing with all this well,” Yukari said.
“I mean, I’m along for the ride no matter what happens,” Kotone said. “No point in ignoring it.”
Strong. She kinda liked that - it was better that, than the myriad other words that had been hurled at her before Tatsumi. They weren’t looking at her with pity here.
Immediately, Kotone decided she liked that. She donned her usual smile gladly.
“Don’t look,” Kotone said.
“Hm?” Akihiko said. He turned his head, looking away from his bowl, before Kotone grabbed his arm.
“I said don’t look!” she said. “You have fans.”
Akihiko groaned. He didn’t turn any further, no longer interested. Kotone watched the faces pressed up against the window of the store. Akihiko’s followers could always be a little overwhelming - still, she wasn’t one to feel threatened. If she could cross the street without looking, she could deal with some schoolgirls obsessed with her friend.
(Admittedly Mitsuru seemed less than pleased at how she crossed the street, but details).
“I’m glad you’re… not like that,” Akihiko said. “That you’re normal. Or not normal, I suppose, with how many people act like them.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kotone said. “I can be normal!”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said. He grimaced. “I like having a friend with none of that expectation. We can sit here and eat, and I’m not worried about you getting the wrong idea.”
“Oh. Same,” Kotone said. “Guys are a pain too.”
“So I’ve heard,” Akihiko said.
“Besides, I don’t need to stalk you,” Kotone said. “We live in the same dorm, I can just break into your dorm and steal your clothes.”
“Kotone…” Akihiko said.
“Kidding,” Kotone said. She paused. “Wait, no, not kidding. Did steal one of your waistcoats. I look better in it than you, sorry.”
“I was trying to be serious for a second, “Akihiko said.
“So am I,” Kotone said. “I look awesome.”
Akihiko chuckled. Kotone felt the glares from the women outside the store turn a few degrees colder.
“Do you want to get rid of them?” Kotone said.
“I don’t know if that’s possible,” Akihiko said. “Just ignore them.”
“Give me ten seconds,” Kotone said.
She offered a sunny grin, and reached into her schoolbag. It usually paid to keep her Evoker close at hand. She was halfway to pulling it out and marching for the door to the shop before Akihiko grabbed her arm.
“Kotone!” he said.
“What?” she said innocently.
“You can’t just- You know that’s not a real gun,” he said.
“Sure, but they don’t,” Kotone said.
“No,” Akihiko said.
She pouted.
“Let’s just eat and leave,” Akihiko said.
“Fine,” Kotone said. “Spoil my fun.”
She let go of her Evoker, returning to her beef bowl. The food was good at least.
She didn’t understand other people sometimes - it was nice just sitting and eating with Akihiko, she didn’t need to jump his bones or whatever they were after. They could just talk. The stalkers outside, so many of the other people at school, were weird about guys. She didn’t understand that.
Kotone hummed to herself, debating what music she wanted to listen to as she packed up after class. Once everything was in her bag, she nodded to Yukari, and headed out the classroom.
What did she fancy doing today? There was plenty of time before she had to get back to the dorm. Idly, Kotone wandered down the hallway, glancing at the other students. She knew shockingly few of them, she reflected, not that she felt much drive to change that. Life was chaotic enough with just SEES friends.
It was easy to keep people at arm’s length. Sometimes she tried, but it was all empty. The world was on the other side of a veil and she could wave through it, but how was she meant to befriend people when the ways they acted were just so… off? SEES she at least had some common ground with.
Though even then, Akihiko was a friend, and hanging out with him could be dangerous with his fans. She still didn’t really understand why they were so odd - part of her wished she could be obsessed with him, that would at least be something. She’d make a good stalker if she tried, she was sure.
But no, no urge for any of that. Sighing, Kotone headed down the hallway, slowing only when she passed by a woman who seemed to be… vibrating. Kotone blinked.
Another schoolfriend whose name she didn’t know. The stranger spent a lot of time in this hallway, it seemed, lurking outside the student council room. Kotone had mentally named her ‘Superfan’ and said hi a few times, but she hadn’t learned much more.
“Are you… okay?” Kotone said.
“I saw her bike outside!” Superfan said.
“Excuse me?”
“Kirijo-senpai!” Superfan said. “She rode it to school today! I don’t know why, but it means she’s going to ride it home. I’m gonna get to see her on her motorbike!”
Oh, that - Kotone vaguely remembered Mitsuru saying something about running a few tests on Tartarus. She must’ve wanted to leave the equipment nearby. Would it burst the superfan’s bubble if she said Mitsuru probably wasn’t riding back until midnight?
No, if anything she’d probably hang out until the dark hour and get trapped in Tartarus. Better not.
“Good luck with that,” Kotone said.
“If I asked, do you think Kirijo-senpai would hit me with her bike?” the superfan said. She sighed dreamily. “I want that.”
“Er,” Kotone said. She tilted her head speculatively. “Huh. Same.”
“What?”
“Seems fun,” Kotone said. She blinked, as surprised as the superfan. Then, eagerly, she shook the other girl’s hand. “Thank you!”
“Huh?”
“Think you helped me figure something out about myself,” Kotone said. “That had been bugging me. Good luck!”
“Hey! No! You don’t get to be in love with Kirijo-senpai!”
“Bye!”
Kotone cheerfully walked off, humming to herself. Realisations could come from the oddest places apparently. Still, Mitsuru was apparently more her type than Akihiko, and that made more than a few things slot into place.
She doubted she was quite as in love with Mitsuru as the superfan, but still, she could appreciate her. Some things clicked anyway.
Relationships were one of those things she hadn’t really thought about. Apparently there was more of a reason for that. She’d figured it was one of those things that only other people fussed over, there was enough that didn’t click with her that she hadn’t spent a second thought on it.
(Honestly, that was part of why she found herself getting on with Akihiko. His general disinterest was familiar to her).
But, huh, if it was something else, it’d be good to get that confirmed. One quiet night at the dorm, she popped up behind Junpei while he was reading on the dorm’s first floor.
“Hi!” she said.
He yelped like she was a shadow, almost dropping his book. It quickly morphed into him clearing his throat, sitting up.
“Hi Kotone,” he said. “You didn’t see that.”
“Can we chat?” Kotone said. “I want your help - you’re the expert, after all.”
“An expert?” Junpei said doubtfully - then he straightened. “I mean, of course! Er. Expert on what?”
“Being weirdly horny for every girl you meet,” Kotone said.
Junpei paused.
“Alright! Okay I can do that,” Junpei said. “Er. Wait. How does this help you?”
“I think I like girls,” Kotone said. “I just wanna know, y’know? You definitely know how it feels, so, we can compare.”
“Oh! Okay,” Junpei said. “I can work with that. Just call me Junpei-sensei!”
“No,” Kotone said.
Junpei pouted.
“Not even a little?” he said.
“Stupei-sensei?” Kotone said.
“…It’ll do I guess,” Junpei said. He brightened. “How about this? I name a person, and without thinking, you say what you imagine an ideal day out is.”
“Sure!” Kotone said.
“Fuuka,” Junpei said.
“I wanna hug her,” Kotone said. “Super tight. She’s earned it.”
“Fair enough,” Junpei said. “Akihiko?”
“Food,” Kotone said. “He’s good company.”
“Mm. Interesting,” Junpei said. He mimed taking notes. “Yukari?”
“I want her to use me for target practice,” Kotone said abruptly. Junpei blinked.
“I. Er. Okay,” he said. “Mitsuru?”
“I want her to hit me with her bike, and then back over me to finish the job,” Kotone said cheerfully.
There was a pause.
“Kotone,” Junpei said. “Um. You okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” she said.
There was a longer pause.
“…How about me?” Junpei said.
“Pinata,” Kotone said.
“Am I going to regret asking for details?” Junpei said.
“Probably,” Kotone said.
He blinked. Then cleared his throat.
“Well, either way, that’s enough for Junpei-sensei to come to a solid conclusion,” he said. “I formally diagnose you with gay.”
“Yippee!” Kotone said.
That answered that at least. She wasn’t sure why she cared, honestly; she didn’t necessarily see herself pursuing anyone. Getting sucked into that stuff had never really appealed. Still, it was good to know something more about herself.
“So,” Junpei said. He paused, and dropped his voice. “Want any magazines?”
A beautiful woman coming out of nowhere to hug her wasn’t exactly how Kotone had expected her vacation to go. One moment she was walking through the woods, and the next, a blonde stranger in a blue dress popped up.
“Er,” Kotone said.
“My highest priority is to be at your side,” the stranger said.
Kotone hesitated. The strange woman wrapped her arms tightly around her, clinging close against her. She was warm, and her skin felt firm.
Kotone felt heat rush to her cheeks. Okay, she wasn’t sure what was happening, but an apparently very buff woman was suddenly very interested in her, and she was only human. She’d only realised she was that into girls a month ago, she wasn’t sure she was ready for this.
“Abs,” Kotone said faintly. “Feel like steel.”
Kotone heard a rustling from behind her; she’d been walking with Mitsuru, Yukari and Fuuka, but she couldn’t turn around to see them. The woman’s grip was firm.
“Kotone? Who is this?” Yukari said. “Why is she… hugging you?”
“I don’t know. And I don’t know,” Kotone said.
There was another rustle from in the trees. She saw Akihiko and Junpei emerge, apparently having come from the beach; they stopped abruptly when they saw her. Junpei’s eyebrows shot up - then he offered Kotone a grin and an encouraging thumbs-up.
Kotone shrugged. The stranger continued to curl up close, head fitting neatly in the crook of Kotone’s neck.
“So. This is nice,” Kotone said.
“I have found you,” the stranger said.
“You sure have,” Kotone said. “Wow. Your arms are… really strong.”
She was, admittedly, a little distracted. Focus only really returned when the woman let go of her, stepping back; Kotone blinked.
“Huh?” Kotone said.
The woman was looking at something behind Kotone. Kotone turned around, to see Ikutsuki - when had he gotten there?
“Aigis. Let’s go,” he said.
“Aigis?” Kotone said.
The woman stepped back. Kotone stumbled a little, suddenly unused to not having her close. The stranger, Aigis apparently, stood stiffly to attention; her piercing blue eyes never looked away from Kotone.
There was a lot of back and forth after that - it probably figured that when SEES got to take a holiday, they’d run into a robot. Kotone half-listened to the explanation as they were led back to the manor.
The Kirijo group had built robots to fight shadows, because apparently that sort of thingjust happened. Aigis had spontaneously activated herself when SEES had arrived for the holiday.
And Aigis was still staring at Kotone. She stared the whole walk back, and stared even after everyone was sat down. It was hard to focus entirely on Ikutsuki’s explanation.
Kotone stuck her hand up.
“Question!” she said. “Where’d she get the dress?”
“Huh?” Ikutsuki said.
“Was someone playing dress-up with her at the lab when she was deactivated, or did she steal it from someone?” Kotone said. “Should probably return it.”
“The lab had outfits for if we ever needed to activate her again,” Ikutsuki said. “It would be easier to have her pass as a human if-”
“Oh! And another thing,” Kotone said. “Why does she look like a girl? I’ve read enough of Junpei’s manga to not trust anyone making a girl robot.”
“Sorry, you what?” Yukari interjected.
“It’s a good question!” Junpei hastily interrupted. He cleared his throat. “Why does she look like that and not a, like, tank?”
“There’s a good reason,” Ikutsuki said. “We found it was best to have a human mind in a machine so that she could summon a persona - so we needed a human vessel to make sure it felt at home. It was the most effective way to make an anti-shadow weapon.”
Kotone’s eyes stayed narrowed.
Aigis still looked at her. Kotone swallowed, heart racing in a way she didn’t quite know what to make of.
Kotone blearily opened her eyes. Aigis was crouched about a metre in front of her bed, unblinking. Kotone exhaled.
“Er. Hi,” Kotone said.
“Hello,” Aigis said. “It is 5:54am. I recommend you get further sleep. It would be good for your health.”
A robot was watching her sleep. Again. Sure, why not?
“Don’t let Yukari catch you,” Kotone said.
“I estimate sixty minutes before she wakes up,” Aigis said. “I will leave before then.”
“Well. Good, I think,” Kotone said.
Aigis continued to stare.
“Do you want to make out?” Kotone said, eventually.
“My eyes are fully functional. I can make you out perfectly,” Aigis said.
“Not what I…” Kotone began. She paused.
“You are my highest priority,” Aigis said.
“You can’t just say things like that,” Kotone said, face flushing.
Aigis tilted her head. Kotone tried not to stare into her eyes. A month after she’d figured things out, and the universe decided to make a pretty robot lady obsessed with her. She wasn’t sure if she was grateful or annoyed.
Was it even right to think stuff like that? Aigis seemed more intrigued by everything than fully cognisant of the intricacies of relationships.
She never used to think much about things like that. It was better to live in the moment than think about the future - the future just hurt, a yawning gulf of more time.
“Are you well?” Aigis said. “I do not wish to make you uncomfortable.”
She knelt there, her face a few inches from Kotone’s own, unblinking.
“Er. No. It’s alright,” Kotone said.
This was silly, it was just that she’d started looking at every girl in a new way, it didn’t seem fair to drag Aigis into that. It wasn’t like Aigis would understand, nor was it fair to her, nor was it based upon anything but ‘pretty girl.’ She could have some self control, she wasn’t Stupei.
“If you need anything, I hope you feel able to come to me,” Aigis said.
“Thanks?” Kotone said. She hesitated. “And you too, if you need anything, I mean.”
“My primary purpose is to destroy shadows. I do not require anything else,” Aigis said.
“Oh,” Kotone said. She hesitated. “That’s sad.”
“Is it?” Aigis said. She tilted her head. “I didn’t know. Should I seek another purpose?”
“I guess, maybe,” Kotone said. “It’s 6am, don’t ask me.”
“What is yours?” Aigis said.
“Huh?”
“Your purpose. I would like to learn,” Aigis said.
Kotone faltered. Who thought about that kind of thing? She could instinctively say that there should be more to life than hunting shadows, but that didn’t mean she’d given herself any purpose beyond that.
She lived in the moment, had fun; there wasn’t anything more to life than that. Even SEES wasn’t a duty, it was just a way to spend time - and an enjoyable one too.
“I dunno,” Kotone said. “Mostly just live.”
Aigis was quiet for a moment.
“Oh,” she said. “That’s sad. As they say.”
Aigis continued to stare, unblinking, her cold eyes not looking away from Kotone for a moment.
She was the leader. She had to hold it together.
She sat at the back of the assembly as the principal droned on about Shinjiro, as if he’d known him. Sit still, Kotone told herself; she could will her hands not to shake, and will away the tears. Hide it all behind a smile, the same as ever.
“I don’t even know who this Shinjiro is. Why do we have to be here for this?”
Two seniors in the row in front were chatting as though this were just a normal assembly.
“Probably just some punk. Heard he hung out behind the station.”
“Ugh, when is this going to end? I don’t have time for this.”
Kotone swallowed.
“Stop it,” Kotone said, voice small.
One of the two from the row in front turned back.
“What’s your problem?” the stranger said.
“Stop it!” Kotone said.
Her voice came out shrill, louder than she expected. More eyes turned to face her.
Kotone swallowed. Each pair was a drop more pressure, a little bit more threatening to crack her facade. No, she told herself, keep it together. Be a leader, hold on. They needed her to stay intact.
Eyes stared.
Abruptly, Kotone pushed herself to her feet and fled out the hall. If any teachers moved to stop her, she left them behind - running around Tartarus did a lot for her stamina apparently. The teachers at least had to know Shinjiro was in her dorm, even if they didn’t know the details. They could clear it up.
Or they couldn’t and she’d just landed herself in a load of trouble, who cared, really?
Outside, Kotone gulped down the cool air, trembling. Air helped. It felt like she was drowning in there; when that happened, it was obviously better to get out of the metaphorical pool.
Better to be happy than get lost in the depths. Don’t think about it.
She heard footsteps. As much as Aigis tried to blend in, her step was always heavy, the sound distinctive to anyone who knew what to listen for. Kotone quickly stiffened - hide it, she told herself. Same as ever.
When she turned around, she had a smile on her face again.
“Hi Aigis!” Kotone said, beaming.
“Kotone?” Aigis said.
“What are you doing out here?” Kotone said. “You might get in trouble for missing the assembly. That’d suck.”
“I came to check on you,” Aigis said.
“Me? I’m fine,” Kotone said.
“You left the hall.”
“I needed air,” Kotone said. She beamed again. “Look at me! Do I look like I need checking in on?”
“I detect a point 2 millimetre deviation in your zygomaticus major muscle,” Aigis said. “And fourteen other microexpressions that suggest-”
“Psh,” Kotone said. “I don’t even know what a zigzag muscle is.”
“You’re upset and you’re trying to hide it,” Aigis said, looking at Kotone with her piercing, too-blue eyes. “I wanted to be here.”
Something about hearing it put so bluntly made Kotone falter. It was hard to look away from Aigis sometimes. She had a way of capturing Kotone’s gaze, of making her stare into those unblinking eyes.
Eyes that saw too much.
“It’s not fair that you can do that,” Kotone said.
“I am sorry,” Aigis said. “I don’t know what I can do, but I didn’t feel like you should be alone.”
Aigis stepped closer. Kotone didn’t move.
Silently, Aigis wrapped her arms around her. After a few, uncertain, seconds, Kotone lifted her arms to echo the gesture. She let Aigis hold her close, feeling the hum of her body.
Kotone didn’t cry. She wasn’t sure she could - she remembered that she used to, but at some point tears had stopped coming. It made it easier to smile. She could remember how it felt to sob, how it felt like there was a physical force pulling the sides of her mouth down. How was she meant to be happy when her body refused to let her?
This was easier. She smiled, and clung tightly to Aigis like she was the only thing in the world.
“The Dark Hour’s almost over, isn’t it?” Kotone said.
“Correct. There is only one more shadow to defeat,” Aigis said.
“What happens then?” Kotone said.
Aigis paused, almost imperceptibly.
“I would no longer be needed,” Aigis said. “The threat of the shadows would be removed.”
“I was thinking,” Kotone said. “Normal people can’t remember what happens in the dark hour, even if they’re awake during it. I’ve seen enough people that we’ve rescued from Tartarus to know no one’s talking about the giant tower.”
“You’re correct,” Aigis said.
“Would we forget too?” Kotone said.
Aigis was quiet. Kotone found herself holding onto her; she didn’t know why people always said robots were cold, not when she could feel the warmth emanating from within Aigis. Metal retained heat more than most things, and whatever systems kept her running gave off a lot of heat.
“It’s possible,” Aigis said.
“It’d be like I never knew Shinjiro, or anyone,” Kotone said. “I think I’d like that.”
“You would?” Aigis said.
“It’d be easier,” Kotone said. “Who wouldn’t give up a few bad memories, if they had the chance?”
Aigis was quiet. Kotone squeezed her tightly, trying not to think too hard.
It felt… nice, being there. Safe even, somehow. Kotone closed her eyes, listened to the whirr of Aigis’s heart, and tried to think about what it would be like to forget all of this.
One moment, they’d thought that they’d ended the Dark Hour. The next, they’d been plunged into a nightmare. Ikutsuki had betrayed them, briefly seized control of Aigis, threatened to sacrifice them, and after a whirl of events that Kotone could barely keep up with, somehow they’d made it back to the dorm.
With only one death as well. That should have felt like a victory, after how badly it had almost gone. It didn’t.
Somehow, Aigis was trembling. She’d come so close to hurting the rest of them. Kotone didn’t know how she’d broken through the programming, but she was glad.
“I-I am sorry,” Aigis said, breaking the silence with an uncharacteristically halting voice.
“Aigis, it wasn’t your fault,” Yukari said.
“What she said,” Junpei said.
“Besides,” Kotone said, interjecting. “You kicked my ass. It was awesome.”
She offered a thumbs up, her fake smile as persuasive as a real one. Aigis seemed to be the only person that wasn’t fooled. Stupid microexpressions.
For everyone else, it was a release of tension. There were chuckles, ‘That’s our leader’s, a few shaken heads, but it seemed to be a little easier for them to move. Well, for most of them; Mitsuru had taken a seat and was staring ahead, unfocused.
Quietly, Kotone moved over to Mitsuru. She didn’t say anything. Still, she could ignore Aigis’s piercing gaze from here.
There was something so fundamentally alienating about losing a parent. It was something that, admittedly, most of the people in the dorm would be able to understand. Outside the dorm though, it felt like a disconnect.
Something so fundamental in her world, that so many of the people at school couldn’t ever really relate to. Silently, Kotone sat near her.
A long few minutes passed.
“Sucks, huh?” Kotone said gently.
Despite herself, Mitsuru chuckled. It didn’t last long.
“I’m sorry, Kotone,” Mitsuru said. “Now isn’t the best time to…”
“I know,” Kotone said. “Feels terrible.”
“And you’re going to say it gets easier?” Mitsuru said.
“No. Always sucks,” Kotone said. “You just get better at dealing with it.”
Mitsuru was quiet.
“It’s like… like a dam,” Kotone said. “The stuff that used to come easily, it stops. But new stuff collects against the dam. It goes on.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Mitsuru said.
“Not easy. Just inevitable,” Kotone said.
Most of the team seemed almost shellshocked; it wasn’t that they didn’t care, but more that it didn’t occur to them that there ought to be some action they should pair that care with.
They’d almost died. They’d just found out they’d failed - that none of them had any idea how to be free of the Dark Hour. They’d watched Ikutsuki betray them, and seen a man die.
Kotone wanted to mourn; at the same time, she knew that she was the leader. She’d made a promise to live up to that. If Mitsuru needed her, it was her duty to be there.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Mitsuru said.
“You’ve got plenty of time to figure it out,” Kotone said. “I bet you can. Until then, you can lean on us.”
She offered a fake smile, and tried to ignore how Aigis kept watching her.
“Thank you,” Mitsuru said, eventually, quietly.
Kotone beamed. It was good to help people, she told herself - if a facade was what it took, so be it. Aigis being able to look right through her was… She didn’t know if she had the words for how it felt.
“Okay,” Kotone said. She paused. “This might be a bad time, but there’s a girl I know who kinda wants you to hit her with your bike-”
“Hey! Hey Fuuka!” Kotone said.
Kotone caught up with the group’s navigator on the third floor of the dorm. Fuuka was sat down with a novel, only looking up when Kotone plopped herself down next to her.
“Hi!” Kotone said.
She managed a wide grin. Kotone blinked.
“Um. Hi?” Fuuka said.
“Question!” Kotone said. “Your persona, after that upgrade to Juno, you can sense more stuff, right?”
“Um. Yes, I think so,” Fuuka said. “It’s… clearer further out, anyway. Um. Why?”
“Wondered if you could help me with something,” Kotone said. “Use those fancy detection power things.”
“If I can,” Fuuka said.
“Good,” Kotone said. She reoriented herself, looking directly into Fuuka’s eyes. “I need you to find out if someone likes me.”
Fuuka blinked.
“I’m sorry?” Fuuka said.
“I feel like someone likes me,” Kotone said. “And it’s kinda weird and awkward and I don’t know exactly how I feel and don’t wanna figure it out if I don’t have to, so I need you to cheat for me, okay? Okay good.”
Fuuka hesitated.
“Well?” Kotone said, cheerful.
“I… don’t think it works that way,” Fuuka said.
“Why not?” Kotone said. “You can sense weaknesses, strengths, what’s nearby, all that stuff. How is this different?”
“I… think it is,” Fuuka said. “A lot different. Er.”
Kotone pouted.
“I can, maybe, try?” Fuuka said. “I don’t know if it will actually do anything but, um, if you really want… Who is it?”
Kotone beamed - then paused for a moment.
“Just between us?” Kotone said. “This is a secret. I will ask Mr Edogawa to curse you if you tell.”
“O-of course!” Fuuka said quickly.
Kotone swallowed.
“Aigis,” she said.
“Oh!” Fuuka said. “I knew… some of that, I guess.”
“Huh?”
“I-I mean, um,” Fuuka said. “I can’t detect everything, but I can sense when shadows mess with emotions - rage, confusion - so I have a sort-of sense of the default, so there is a very vague sense of what people are like so, um…”
“Your persona gives you gaydar?” Kotone said.
“That’s not- I wouldn’t put it like-” Fuuka began.
“Could you scan Yukari?” Kotone said. She dropped her voice. “I was kinda getting a vibe, so I- wait, no, getting distracted.”
Fuuka blinked.
“Come on, you must have noticed how much Aigis stares at me,” Kotone said. “I want to know why, that’s all. She’s… really good at staring. And she seems interested. I asked her why, and she got all confused. So I’m coming to you.”
“Do you like her?” Fuuka said.
“What?” Kotone said. "She’s annoying. I mean I appreciate her, and she’s pretty, but she always gets this look. It’s… a look.”
“I don’t know what that means,” Fuuka said.
“It doesn’t matter,” Kotone said. She pouted. “I just want to know if she likes me.”
“Why?” Fuuka said.
“Because I wanna know! I’m allowed to want to know,” Kotone said.
“Would it change anything?” Fuuka said. “I trust Aigis to be professional, and if you don’t think about her like that…”
“Hey, no! No! You’re giving me the look!” Kotone said.
“…I am?” Fuuka said, unsure.
“The Aigis look!” Kotone said. “Stop it!”
“I don’t know how?” Fuuka said.
Kotone grimaced. After a moment, she slumped.
“It feels like I’m made of glass,” Kotone said, quiet. “All that effort, and she can just see right through me. I can handle it when it’s just Aigis, but I don’t like it.”
She faltered. Fuuka was quiet for a few seconds.
“You should tell her,” Fuuka said gently.
“Huh?”
“S-sorry,” Fuuka said. “I mean, it sounds like you… do care. Being seen by someone, it’s scary, but it’s… nice.”
“Hey, no, no scanning me! That wasn’t the deal!” Kotone said.
“I’m not. I promise,” Fuuka said. “I still don’t think I could. Just… It’s better to say something while you can, isn’t it?”
Kotone faltered. She thought of Aigis’s eyes, all too piercing; she thought, too, of the first moment they’d met, and how tightly Aigis had held her. There had been something comforting about that.
She swallowed.
“I do spend time with Aigis,” Fuuka began.
Kotone’s eyes narrowed.
“Not in that way!” Fuuka said. “I like technology. She’s helped me understand her, and understand a lot more things from that. I like seeing how it all fits together.”
“Technical question?” Kotone said.
“Um. Sure?” Fuuka said.
“Sorry, getting sidetracked,” Kotone said. She tilted her head. “Why does she have boobs?”
“Excuse me?” Fuuka squeaked.
“I mean, not that I’m not grateful!” Kotone said. “But what’s the technical reason for adding them? Is there, like, super-important circuitry they needed extra space to fit? Or did the scientists just really want to bash out a pair?”
“Th-that’s not, um…” Fuuka began. She flushed. “There’s… remarkably efficient use of space to be honest. Any room that might be empty is used to store ammo for her weaponry, so nowhere’s, um, empty space.”
Kotone’s eyes widened.
“Her tits are the bomb,” Kotone said.
“Um,” Fuuka said. “I suppose?”
“Awesome!” Kotone said. She paused. “Academically speaking. Would it be dangerous to bite them?”
Fuuka stammered.
“She’s made to, um, resist attacks by shadows,” Fuuka said. “I’m sure there isn’t anything you could do that would…”
“I dunno, I can bite pretty hard,” Kotone said. She tilted her head. “Still, thanks for your help! I’ll come to you if I have any other questions.”
“Please don’t,” Fuuka said.
Kotone pouted.
“It’s a full moon tomorrow, right?” Kotone said. “After that, I’ll… say something. It feels right.”
Fuuka seemed relieved. Kotone tried not to feel too guilty; she wasn’t meant to lean on them, was she? Her job was to lead, to help carry their burdens, not to share hers.
It did feel nice, though.
Her hands still shook when she thought of the bridge.
A month ago, she’d had too-brief hope in the future. A month ago, the full moon had come again, and the world had changed all over again. The world was ending. Ryoji had remembered who he was, and told them all about Nyx - the coming Fall.
In retrospect, maybe she should have been more concerned about the strange boy that periodically appeared in her room. Hindsight always made things seem obvious.
The end of the world wasn’t what stuck with Kotone, though. Death hadn’t frightened her for a long, long time. While her friends ruminated on what to do, anxiously awaiting Ryoji’s return, she’d barely given the dilemma any thought.
According to Ryoji, the end was inescapable. When the day of Nyx’s descent arrived, they wouldn’t be able to fight it; they and the world would die. The choice he offered them was simply to forget about all of this. To forget Nyx, to forget the Dark Hour, and live out their last who-knew-how-long in ignorance and peace.
One by one, her friends resolved to fight, even knowing it might be futile. Kotone, meanwhile, could only think about the one who wasn’t there.
On New Year’s Eve, as promised, Ryoji showed up at the dorm. Kotone went through the motions, barely feeling present. While SEES reiterated their desire to fight, Kotone thought of the bridge. A month ago, Aigis had gone to confront Ryoji. Only a day ago had Aigis returned, needing the entire month to have the damage repaired.
“In the end, it has to be her choice,” Ryoji said. He nodded to Kotone. “If I may, can we speak alone?”
Wordlessly, for once, Kotone walked to her room with Ryoji. The moment the door shut, before Ryoji could say a word, she pulled out her Evoker - she lifted it and pulled the trigger. Kali flared to life behind her, and the room shook.
“You hurt her!”
The mask slipped. Her voice sounded different when she shouted; from a distance, she could notice that. She didn’t sound like the same person.
Her hands still shook.
She honestly hadn’t been sure which of her Personas she’d call; it usually took a little focus to sort between them, and focus was something she didn’t have just then. Rage brought forth the goddess of destruction, and she swung at Ryoji.
It knocked him to the floor. Kali raised her sword, and Kotone glowered, a dark part of exulting.
If Ryoji was killed, she’d forget the Dark Hour. There wouldn’t be any pain if she just forgot. It wasn’t even Nyx she was worried about, but there had been too much; after Shinjiro, after Aigis, too much had felt real.
And she wanted to hurt him.
“I’m sorry,” Ryoji said.
Her hands shook.
One strike and it would be done. She wouldn’t even need to feel guilty - none of her friends would remember to know she’d gone against their wishes. The world would end but she wouldn’t need to feel like this.
Aigis could be ‘repaired,’ but that wasn’t enough. What if she couldn’t be? What if she wasn’t the same? And all that aside, who even cared? He’d hurt her.
“For what it’s worth, it was unintentional,” Ryoji said. He closed his eyes. “I wanted to say that before I said goodbye.”
He stood there, making no effort to defend himself. Kali towered over the both of them.
Kotone faltered.
“Would I forget about her?” Kotone said.
“You’ll forget about everything connected to the Dark Hour,” Ryoji said.
“Meaning her,” Kotone said.
“It’s the best way,” Ryoji said. “There’ll be no pain. You’d never have met some of them without Tartarus - it’s sad, but it’s better to lose that than face what’s coming.”
Part of Kotone wanted to agree with him. Part of her did. Anything would be worth not feeling like this - she could forget Nyx, forget Shinjiro, and the world would be a much easier place again. Was it so wrong to want that?
But some things stood out like a flare in her mind, searing and loud and insistent, begging to not be forgotten.
She hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Aigis yet. Aigis had only come back less than an hour ago, and all that time had been spent with the rest of SEES. There hadn’t been any time to speak.
She wanted more time.
Behind her, Kali dissipated. Kotone faltered.
“I don’t care,” Kotone said. “Nyx, the Dark Hour, none of it matters. I want another day with her. Just one will be fine.”
“You’ll have a month before Nyx arrives,” Ryoji said. “A month knowing that the end is coming.”
“Worth it,” Kotone said.
“Kotone…”
“Everyone else is willing to face it,” Kotone said. “If we lose, then we lose, but I want to enjoy the time we have.”
“Nothing I can say will change your mind?” Ryoji said.
“No,” Kotone said. She shrugged. “I haven’t been afraid of dying for a while.”
Ryoji’s face fell; she only half paid attention, absently tugging on his scarf just to see if she could steal it. He batted her hand away.
“I wish you’d reconsider,” Ryoji said.
“I wish you hadn’t hurt her,” Kotone said. “I want to hit you for that.”
“I know,” Ryoji said. He paused. “I am sorry. When I remembered… it was all overwhelming. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”
“Still mad,” Kotone said.
She paused.
“A month?” she said.
“I’m afraid so,” Ryoji said.
“It’s good,” Kotone said. “A month’s enough.”
Aigis was back.
Kotone had meant to talk to her the night Aigis had confronted Ryoji. All that effort to deal with the fact that maybe she felt something more than expected, and she hadn’t had the chance to say anything after all.
And then everything had changed. A month before the world ended.
Somehow, Kotone found herself on the roof of the school. Aigis was with her. Kotone was intent on making the most of what little time they had.
“Hey,” Kotone said. “Time to talk?”
“Of course,” Aigis said. “I was just looking for you.”
“Same,” Kotone said. “Wanted to talk to you a month ago before… well, you know.”
“What did you want to say?” Aigis said.
Kotone faltered. Okay, maybe she wasn’t good at this.
“You first,” Kotone said. “Then me. Okay?”
“Okay,” Aigis said. She paused. “I wish you had taken Ryoji’s offer.”
“Couldn’t do that,” Kotone said.
“I hate seeing all of you suffer like this,” Aigis said.
“Still couldn’t do it,” Kotone said. “Too big a price.”
“Price?”
“I’d forget you,” Kotone said. “Well, almost everyone, but definitely you. I wouldn’t have run into a shadow-killing robot if I never knew about shadows.”
“That’s…” Aigis began. She paused. “I think I could bear that, if it was for you.”
“I couldn’t,” Kotone said.
“It’s… hard to see you all this way,” Aigis said. “No, more than that - it’s hard to see you specifically. You’ve always stood out to me. Now I think I saw more than just my duty in you.”
Kotone hesitated; was she reading too much into that? She did, admittedly, have something of a bias in this conversation.
“I want to be by your side, more than anyone else,” Aigis said. “I know I shouldn’t. I’m a machine, and a girl, and I.. It feels like something’s broken in me. Something’s burning inside and I can’t…”
Gently, Kotone took her hand. Aigis faltered, going silent.
“Okay,” Kotone said. “We’re going to the dorm computer and we’re giving you a download of yuri, okay?”
Aigis blinked.
“None of this ‘I know we’re both girls,’” Kotone said. “There is something seriously missing in your databanks and we’re going to fix it now. Deal?”
“I think so,” Aigis said, hesitant.
Kotone beamed. Then, not wanting to wait another moment, closed the distance between the two of them.
Aigis was warm. Whoever had come up with the idea that machines were cold had obviously never kissed a robot before (and it sucked to be them). She was firm, but responsive; Kotone felt how Aigis’s entire body melted into her, how her body hummed and ached with warmth.
“Kotone…”
It was good to kiss her. Not at all like she’d been daydreaming about it all month. No. Kotone cleared her throat, trying not to bask too much.
“Are you sure?” Aigis said.
“Duh,” Kotone said.
“I’m a machine. Metal,” Aigis said. “You can’t touch me like you would…”
“Bet,” Kotone said.
Was it possible for Aigis to blush? Kotone honestly wasn’t sure, but her expression made her smile either way.
“Wait,” Kotone said. She pouted. “Waited weeks and messed it up. I didn’t even get to say it.”
“Huh?”
“I wanted a big love confession,” Kotone said. “And you beat me to it.”
“This is good,” Aigis said.
“I never got to say, before…” Kotone said. She stopped, then started again. “I would never forget a second I spent with you. I want to spend this month happy, with you, making the most of it. Do you want that?”
Aigis stared at her.
“Aigis?” Kotone said.
“I did not expect to hear you say that,” Aigis said.
“You know I mean it,” Kotone said. “You’re too good at reading my face normally.”
“I… do,” Aigis said.
She stared at Kotone, puzzling out every quirk of her expression, wondering. When it felt like it had been going on too long, Kotone kissed her again.
“I’m… happy,” Aigis said eventually.
“Me too,” Kotone said. She grinned. “Me too.”
“For however long we have,” Aigis said.
“We’ll make the most of it,” Kotone said.
Nyx loomed in the sky.
It was vast, its mere presence making Kotone stumble. She felt as much as heard SEES fall around her, the sheer weight of the threat above them forcing them to the ground.
It was Death. Inescapable, unavoidable, inevitable. Ryoji had told them they didn’t have any hope of fighting it - still, they’d come, wielding spears and swords and a bow and arrow against a thing the size of the moon.
And she’d done it with a smile on her face, because why not? What was the worst that could happen?
She couldn’t move. Kotone struggled - then went limp, surrendering.
Everyone knew they were going to die. It made a lot of things feel pointless; it made it easy to act on whims when there was always one escape from any consequences waiting for her. She’d expected this.
Then she saw Aigis. Aigis was still struggling, all the enhanced strength in her mechanical body unable to resist the pressure of Nyx - and still she tried.
Kotone couldn’t look away. Everyone was struggling, and part of her would always admire her friends for that, but it was Aigis she stared at. She wished she had more time. She thought of the too-few chances she’d had to hold Aigis, and how little time Aigis had been given to really live.
She didn’t want to die.
The thought shouldn’t have shocked her. Still, it did. She wanted more, she wanted them to have more. She could feel them, the friends she’d made as tangible as the pressure from Nyx - more tangible, even. It cut through the fog in her mind as cleanly as anything.
And with the thought came clarity. There was something ironic about it, something that would have made her laugh at any other time. For the first time she could really, truly say that she wanted to live, and the clarity that gave her made the universe answer.
She could save them.
At some point, she started floating. It was barely a conscious effort; Tartarus had always been a warped place, the whole dark hour twisted, and now those distortions carried her. Kotone looked down, taking a last look at Aigis, before being swallowed up whole by Nyx.
She could save them, and for the first time, the price was one she didn’t want to pay.
But one way or another, it was worth it.
On some level, Aigis had known that she’d outlive Kotone. It was part of being a machine after all. Sooner or later Kotone would age, Aigis would go on, and she’d carry Kotone’s memory for however much of eternity she saw.
She’d been prepared for that. But she’d wanted it to happen one day, in the far off future. She wasn’t ready yet.
Life after Nyx had been strange. It had been almost dreamlike; she’d been able to tell that she’d forgotten something, but it had taken a while for it to come into focus. When it all came flooding back, she hadn’t been sure what to do. Kotone seemed similar - she’d been dazed, walking around more like a hollow echo of herself.
Aigis had seen the glimmer in her eyes though, known her. Aigis had done what she could to be close to her.
Then Kotone’s eyes had closed, and it wasn’t long before she’d gone.
The SEES dorm was a different place without her. Quieter. Aigis hadn’t realised just how much of the laughter she’d heard had been because of Kotone - that, or no one was in the mood to laugh anymore. Maybe both.
“I can’t believe she’s gone,” Yukari said.
“Doesn’t feel real,” Junpei said. “She always seemed… so alive. Out of all of us, I was sure she’d be the one who’d make it.”
Koromaru was curled up in front of the door. He had been since Kotone had been taken outside; some part of him still seemed to be waiting for her to come back. Aigis hadn’t known how to explain to him that she wasn’t.
Aigis sat in silence, unable to convince herself to talk or move. Nothing felt right.
There was a cruel part of her that wanted to insist that they hadn’t known Kotone - Kotone had been kind, but she’d always put a facade up between herself and the world. She hadn’t liked people to see her struggle.
That wasn’t fair, though; the part of Kotone that had wanted to help them, to make them happy, was still a genuine part of her. There was just that piece that only Aigis had gotten to see.
Everything they said was recognisable, but it wasn’t all of Kotone.
“It won’t be the same,” Mitsuru said.
“We should do something,” Akihiko said.
“The school had a memorial,” Mitsuru said.
“But that was the school. This is us,” Akihiko said. “Shouldn’t we, I don’t know, say a few words?”
“I’d like that,” Ken said.
Silence. It was a familiar sound. The street outside hummed with a hundred people unaware that the world was any different, and SEES sat around in mourning.
“How can you just sit around talking?” Yukari said. “I can’t just…”
It was one of the things Aigis had observed about humans - their lives always ended, but they never knew how to react when it inevitably did. Once it had confused her. Now, she wished she didn’t understand as well as she did.
Nothing would make it right, yet she went on.
“If she were here, she’d make us laugh,” Aigis said.
“That was her way,” Mitsuru said. “Even when I never thought I could, she always managed to make me smile.”
“Always seemed to know what we needed,” Akihiko said. “There aren’t that many people I felt comfortable hanging out with, but she was definitely one. Could always deal with the… drama.”
“Right?” Junpei said.
“She was easy to talk to,” Fuuka said. “I never felt scared of her, not once I got to know her.”
“She helped me train, without making me feel like a kid,” Ken said. “She taught me without talking down to me. I don’t know how she managed that.”
“She was my friend, even when I was being an ass,” Junpei said.
“I remember when I thought I’d never smile again,” Mitsuru said. “She was at my side in minutes. Always knew what I needed.”
Yukari was quiet.
“I remember Yakushima,” Yukari said. “When my world fell apart, she found me on the beach. She barely needed to say anything. Just by being there, by letting me know she was there…”
“She made me feel alive,” Aigis said.
Somehow just the memory of Kotone was enough to get them talking. If she’d been there, Aigis had a feeling she’d have been proud of that.
Abruptly, Mitsuru got up, walking to the dorm’s kitchen. She came back with her hands full of glasses and a bottle of something soft.
“It’s not much, but let’s each say something,” Mitsuru said. “I… found this helped. Have something to remember her, and draw a line under it. How does that sound?”
There was a halfhearted chorus of nods. Mitsuru began to pour, with glasses taken in turn. Even Aigis took one, eying the beverage doubtfully, curious about the ritual of it. She was capable of drinking even if she didn’t need to.
“I suppose I could go first,” Mitsuru said. She hesitated. “I made an… unexpected friend because of her. I’ll treasure that.”
“She won me a Jack Frost doll,” Junpei said. “I don’t know. Is that a silly thing to remember? We were out at the arcade and she saw the machine outside, and she went up and stared it down for half an hour until finally winning it. She cheered loudly enough that most of the mall was staring at us - then she just threw it over to me, after all that work. Still keep it on my shelf. I don’t know, makes me smile.”
He hesitated.
“That probably sounds dumb,” Junpei said.
“Not at all,” Mitsuru said. “We all have something.”
“I still have her music player,” Fuuka said suddenly. “I was making a couple of tweaks when she… I didn’t know what to do with it, but it felt wrong to just leave it with the rest of her things. I was upgrading it for her - she seemed to like my suggestion - and now she’ll…”
“I’m sure no one will mind if you keep it,” Mitsuru said. She looked around the table. “Yukari?”
“I’ll… remember her strength,” Yukari said. “You could tell she was hurting, sometimes, but she never let it rule her. I wish I could be more like that. I don’t have anything tangible, just… that.”
“I think of her every time I tape my hands,” Akihiko said. He flexed one hand, wiggling his fingers. “She asked me about why I did this. Next time I saw her, she handed me a round of bandages she’d scribbled little angry faces on. Said it was to help me get into the mood. It was cutesy, but no one could see it under the gloves. Put a smile on my face every time I had to get ready.”
He drank. Koromaru trudged up to the side of the table, whining until Yukari poured him some water.
“I like having places,” Ken said, speaking up. “Somewhere I can stand and think about the past. I think this dorm is special. I can see myself, one day, walking down the street and going past it and seeing the door, the wall, the windows, and just… feeling like I’m back here again, with all of you. I never thought that I’d make such good friends, or…”
His voice hitched. He swallowed, clearly struggling.
“I have five-hundred-and-eighty gigabytes of yuri because of her,” Aigis said, interjecting.
There was a long pause.
“Sorry, how much?” Yukari said.
“That is… almost impressive,” Mitsuru said. She paused. “How much space did your tactical software take up?”
“Twenty-seven,” Aigis said.
There was a longer pause.
“That does sound like our leader,” Fuuka said weakly.
If Kotone were there, she’d make them laugh. Aigis clung to the memory.
Aigis remembered her, that night, huddled over the dorm computer and finding document after document. She remembered the crease on Kotone’s forehead, the way her tongue stuck out slightly, like she was focused on the most important thing in the world. She kept looking up to smile, to giggle, to kiss her; Aigis remembered the feel of her hand, warm as anything.
Aigis shut down the motor functions to her face to keep from crying. She sipped her drink with the others, sharing in the moment.
“To Kotone,” Mitsuru said.
Aigis raised her glass.
It wasn’t the first time that Aigis had been to the Velvet Room. Ever since this strange aftermath had started, Aigis had periodically stepped into the oddly lit place. Part of her imagined that she could still sense Kotone there. It was like Kotone had left some imprint in this place, some vague remnant of her presence.
Part of Aigis wanted to just sit there, close her eyes, and soak it in. The strange-faced man on the other side of the desk didn’t seem to be particularly disturbed by her presence.
“Did you know?” Aigis said.
A lot had happened. Time had started passing strangely, and SEES had gone to investigate that, trapped in their dorm as they were. They’d met Metis - and Aigis was still processing that - and peered back through windows in time.
They’d seen what had happened to Kotone, seen the seal that she’d become on the day that Nyx had descended, learned why she’d sacrificed herself. Learned why saving her would risk ruin.
“She attained a miracle,” Igor said. “We knew that. The precise nature of her wish was known only to her.”
Kotone, normally so energetic, reduced to a grey husk keeping a door shut.
She’d saved the world. On one level, Aigis could accept that; the others seemed to as well. She couldn’t judge them for that. It was good to know that at least her death had meant something.
But Aigis still remembered how glad Kotone had been of just another month, how she’d been willing to live with a looming apocalypse to just live.
“I don’t want to give up on her unless I know there’s no other choice,” Aigis said. “You know more than any of us about how this works. Help her.”
“I cannot,” Igor said.
“Why?”
“We are guides,” Igor said. “Our role is to help our guests attain their potential. Nothing more.”
The room’s attendant had always stood out to Aigis. Her name was Elizabeth, wasn’t it? She stood at Igor’s side, playing professional, but there was always an odd, distant look in her eyes.
Aigis looked at her.
“You’re powerful,” Aigis said. “Kotone mentioned you. I didn’t understand it at the time, but it was you she fought, wasn’t it?”
“I wanted to see what she could do for myself,” Elizabeth said.
“She said you were strong,” Aigis said. “More than any of us. You could have helped against Nyx.”
“I cannot- should not leave this room,” Elizabeth said.
Her words were prim, but Aigis heard her falter.
For the first time, Igor looked sideways. He noticed Elizabeth, and a strange smile crossed his ever-strange face.
“Ah, I see,” Igor said. “I’ll leave you for a time, then. You have much to talk about.”
“Master?” Elizabeth said.
Igor lifted a hand. A moment later, and his chair stood empty. Baffled, Elizabeth looked over to Aigis, then back to Igor’s empty seat. She flushed.
“Oh, I bet he already knew, didn’t her?” Elizabeth muttered. “All that effort and he…”
“Knew what?” Aigis said.
“I… spent time with Kotone,” Elizabeth said. “She showed me your world. You have an exceptional number of wonders.”
“I’ve started to notice,” Aigis said.
“I… cared for her,” Elizabeth said. She glanced against Igor’s empty seat. “For those with our role, we await the coming of our guests constantly. I didn’t know that it would be me assigned to her - for a time, I thought my brother would serve in my stead - but I suited her best. For the last year, my life has revolved around her.”
“So has mine,” Aigis said.
“I may have overstepped my duty somewhat,” Elizabeth said. “There are… limits to how invested I was supposed to be. Limits I crossed.”
She nervously eyed Aigis. Aigis didn’t react.
“I could not judge you for that,” Aigis said. “Did you and she…”
“I expressed interest,” Elizabeth said. She glanced at Igor’s absence again and hurried on with her words. “I was granted a kiss, but no more than that. She was waiting for someone else, I think. But I do… understand.”
“Enough to help bring her back?”
“I do not know how. Not for certain,” Elizabeth said. She paused. “And to intervene so directly would be to shirk my duty more than I already have.”
“I had a duty,” Aigis said. “It is no longer what matters most to me. I’ve learned that there are things that make my purpose matter, and without them there is no point to any directive.”
Aigis looked around the room, for the first time really taking in the nature of the Velvet Room. It was a dim place, rich in texture yet devoid of anything concrete. For as magical as the place was, there was nothing here except for the empty table, Elizabeth, and the book Elizabeth always held close to her chest.
There wasn’t even a door. The wall behind Elizabeth seemed like it might be able to open, but Aigis had never seen it do so. She wasn’t sure how anyone ever really entered the place.
“She keeps Nyx sealed,” Aigis said, slowly. “Her soul became the lock on the door. Can that seal be replaced?”
“Her soul was a special one,” Elizabeth said. “Maybe unique.”
“But it is still a soul,” Aigis said.
“She wouldn’t want someone sacrifice in her place, even if it were possible,” Elizabeth said.
“I wouldn’t do that,” Aigis said. “This room works miracles, does it not?”
“It enables them,” Elizabeth said. “The miracles are caused by the humans.”
“I’m not human,” Aigis said. Her eyes settled on the book Elizabeth clutched. “I hope I still get one.”
“Pixie!”
The persona was small; it appeared in a twinkle and spiraled towards the door, vanishing in the crack. Far from the figure that Kotone was, it manifested as barely a mote of dust.
Aigis considered - maybe the arcana was wrong, as well? A persona was wrought from the sea of souls, the same as a person, but there wouldn’t be as much to them. More than that, the first twelve arcana led to Death - led to Nyx. They’d all seen that well.
Aigis flicked through Elizabeth’s compendium.
“Metatron!”
She gestured, flickering her fingertips from the book; light scattered forwards. This persona wasn’t quite the size she needed, but it was a step up.
She’d seen Elizabeth conjure forth multiple persona before; at least, Igor had been able to when fusing them. Now to see if she could do the same.
“Dionysus!”
Another figure joined Metatron, hand in hand. Pieces taken from the seal of souls, arcana from the journey past Death. Ever since gaining this power, Aigis had seen Elizabeth use the book, and had painstakingly filled it out herself.
If it took souls to seal the door, there had to be enough here.
“Helel!”
Kotone had taught her to not give up. When confronted with the impossible, you found a way. Death was inevitable, it had to be faced, but it didn’t have to be accepted. Not if there was a choice.
Elizabeth had allowed her to take the book, forsaking her duty that little bit. Aigis knew how hard that was. When purpose was all you were, it was a leap, the first time you wondered what more there might be to life.
“Lilith!”
Each creature interlocked, arms and blades and wings winding around one another in resolute formation. Colour sapped from them as they took their place. The sea of souls was poured into a new seal, one from a myriad pieces - each individually weaker, but all working together.
“Vishnu!”
She flicked a dozen more names without calling for them, watching them coalesce. Stone figures climbed like ivy around the ornate gold.
The new seal was being built, soulstuff wrought from the Velvet Room’s compendium, binding the door tight. Brick by brick, persona after persona, it was being made. Aigis read through every entry in the latter half of the book, even smaller things contributing to the whole.
“Messiah!”
The last persona was the brightest. It descended onto the throne of figures, neatly moving to take its place as keystone.
Drained, panting, Aigis stared up at the door, pleading. Want something badly enough and the Universe might listen. She felt like she’d gone through most of the compendium - was anything left? Any more she could use? She looked at the compendium, but now her eyes barely seemed able to focus on it, words dancing around in an incoherent jumble.
“Persona,” Aigis said, focusing.
Rather than any of the menagerie, she felt Athena’s familiar presence surge behind her. Was that the trade? Her wildcard, for Kotone?
She watched as Messiah settled into place. As it clicked, as the figure turned to an unbreakable stone seal, Kotone was dislodged. She slipped, falling forwards, and Aigis staggered to catch her.
There was a flare of light; Aigis ignored it, wanting only to close the distance between herself and Kotone. Slowly, so slowly, colour returned to Kotone’s face.
Aigis clung onto her tightly as the light grew brighter.
Aigis awoke in the Velvet Room.
A new seal. She felt different, having lost something she hadn’t realised she’d gained, but it was a price she barely had to think about. Every Persona she could summon, every fragment of a soul she could conjure from Elizabeth’s book, permanently taken from her and affixed to the door.
Slowly, Aigis opened her eyes; she looked around, surprised to see that she wasn’t alone. Igor was back, as was Elizabeth - and then there was SEES, as baffled by their location as Aigis had been the first time she’d come here. Then Metis, her self-proclaimed sister (though something in Aigis knew that label wasn’t quite right) and…
Aigis fell from her chair, kneeling by the sleeping Kotone, cradling her head in her lap. Her skin was warm again.
“Huh? Where is this place?” Yukari said.
“Ah, fascinating. She brought you along with her after all,” Igor said. “Welcome to the Velvet Room. I watch over this place. It is always remarkable to see a miracle.”
He talked, explaining the basics of the room to the rest of SEES. Aigis looked down; Kotone’s eyes were still closed, but she was breathing, wasn’t she?
Metis stood besides Elizabeth rather than with SEES. Any other time, and that would have stood out more. It was hard to think about that, though.
Aigis barely listened as the conversation went. She registered that Metis wasn’t her sister, rather a piece of herself - something cast off and suppressed, a part of her she hadn’t been able to face.
On some level, Aigis felt like she’d always known. She’d mourn that Metis would have to stay on this side, but she couldn’t say she was completely surprised. Still-
Kotone opened her eyes.
“Wait, so you’re, like, a second Aigis?” Kotone said.
She tilted her head, regarding Metis for a moment. There was a moment as everyone reacted to her voice.
“So does that make you my girlfriend too?” Kotone said. Her eyes widened. “Does she have to stay on this side?”
“Um,” Metis said, slightly bewildered.
“What? You miss every shot you don’t take,” Kotone said. She nodded smartly. “Learned that from Junpei. And he’d know, he misses a lot of shots.”
“Hey!” Junpei said. “C’mon, you don’t have to put it like that.”
He paused.
“Wait, aren’t I the only person here who’s actually dating someone?” he said. “Can’t be that bad.”
“Oh god,” Yukari said.
“Yuka-tan?”
“I’m not acknowledging that,” Yukari said. “Nope. Not living in a world where Stupei has the best luck with relationships.”
“C’mon! I have a girlfriend!” Junpei said. “You’ve met her!”
“I have two,” Kotone said cheerfully.
“…Can we talk about this?” Aigis said weakly.
Kotone looked pleadingly at her. Aigis found herself smiling.
“You’re okay,” Aigis said.
“Duh. I’m pretty awesome,” Kotone said. She tilted her head, eyes suddenly widening. “Wait, Nyx-”
“You stopped it,” Aigis said. “You saved us.”
“And…”
“I got you back,” Aigis said. “You’re still you. I…”
Was it possible to want something so much that the idea of getting it felt strange? She wouldn’t have risked the world for Kotone - Kotone would never have wanted that - but she’d have found some way.
She owed her life to Kotone. Not in any mundane, literal sense, but the idea that she had a life to owe, she only knew because of Kotone. This was the least she could do.
“Is this really for real?” Yukari said.
Kotone stretched up, managing to come to a seat the same moment she kissed Aigis. Aigis accepted it gladly.
They hadn’t kissed in front of the others before - it was more out of propriety than secrecy, they’d never kept their connection secret but they had preferred private moments together. All at once, it spilled out.
It was good to feel her again. Aigis marvelled that she could - she was aware of physical stimuli, but this felt more. Maybe it was the Room, maybe something in her had changed, but she could feel herself getting lost in Kotone.
“It’s real,” Aigis said.
A butterfly fluttered across the train tracks. It came to a stop on the underside of a sign, blue wings bright in the dawn light. Far below, Aigis and Kotone hurried to catch the train.
“Quick! Either we get to the island now or we’re waiting ages!”
“I’m right behind you!” Aigis said.
They barreled past the barrier, just making it inside. Kotone laughed - Aigis exulted, always ecstatic when she saw a real smile.
“What do you wanna do?” Kotone said.
“I thought you had a plan,” Aigis said.
“Get to the island. There’s more stuff there,” Kotone said. “It’s the weekend, that’s as far as I got.”
“Do you want something?” Aigis said.
Kotone paused.
“A burger,” she said. “Big one.”
“That’s all?” Aigis said.
“Yeah,” Kotone said. “Well, it’s something to start with. Can figure it out from there.”
The monorail hummed along. Kotone shuffled into her seat, looking out over the lake outside. She held Aigis’s hand without thinking about it.
“Not long before the new year starts,” Kotone said.
“I wonder if it’ll be any quieter,” Aigis said. “I don’t know how to manage… normal life.”
“Won’t be quiet if I have anything to say about it,” Kotone said. “Otherwise, scream when people annoy you.”
“Does that help?”
“Can’t hurt,” Kotone said.
Kotone rested her head against the window, feeling the rumble of the carriage around her. She opened her mouth to hear the trembling sound that resulted.
“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Aigis said.
“You’ve been to school before,” Kotone said.
“That was for a mission. This’ll be for… life,” Aigis said. She paused, then sounded it out: “My purpose is to live.”
“You got it,” Kotone said.
“It’d strange not having an end in sight,” Aigis said. “I thought I was used to it, but it’s hitting me.”
“Take it day by day,” Kotone said. “You don’t need some end-all and be-all goal. What do you want to do today?”
“Have fun with you,” Aigis said.
“Then there you go,” Kotone said. She intoned her voice dramatically: “Your purpose is to have some fun today.”
“With you,” Aigis said.
“Try and get rid of me. I will literally come back from the dead to spend more time with you, you know I have and I would again.”
Kotone grabbed her arm. It didn’t matter that it was metal, she clung on like it was the softest thing in the world, squeezing tightly. Laughing, they rode the monorail all the way to the island.
Life went on.