Archive of Our Own ^beta

The seatbelt sign clicked off overhead with a little ding.

“Hongjoong-ah, do you want anything to eat?” Jinseong, the manager who’d come along to Paris Fashion week and an old friend, asked from the next seat. Hongjoong yawned and shifted to get more comfortable as the plane they were on leveled off from take off. His stomach was still a bit sensitive from the different cuisine and the swoopy feeling of ascending to thirty-thousand feet made him uneasy.

“Ah, I’m good, hyung,” he said, cracking his jaw a little. “M’probably gonna sleep for a bit. There’s a schedule when we get home right?”

Jinseong flagged down a steward for a bottle of tea and a snack. “Not for a day,” he said, checking the calendar on his Apple Watch. “Or, like, most of a day. We should probably both sleep. We’ve still got eleven hours.”

Hongjoong let out a groan and sunk down in his sweater. “Don’t remind me,” he grumbled.

They talked for a little while longer until Jinseong started to nod off. The lingering excitement of Fashion Week and getting to see Seonghwa before leaving kept Hongjoong up a while longer. He scrolled social media for a bit, thumbing through different apps. He saw edits of himself at the Vivienne Westwood and Balmain shows, Atiny and non-fans alike picking apart his outfit. It was generally favorable and he had a secret love for the ones who broke it down to the level of stitching and materials.

But as he scrolled he saw Seonghwa start to make an appearance and he couldn’t help the surge of love and pride in his best friend. Boyfriend, if he were allowed to say so outside the confines of their family, members and company. They’d been dating long enough for it to be old news but seeing Seonghwa all dressed up looking so beautiful it felt like he was crushing all over again.

For a while he enjoyed seeing Hwa in what Atiny were describing as his sexy Jedi getup (and he was sure he’d get to witness how much that title brought joy to the older’s heart) but then his algorithm started to change. Most of the time, on his private account, the reels were a mix of other idols he was friends with, people outside the industry and occasionally fashion specific brands. He didn’t spend much time looking up himself or the members or even Ateez. He’d learned long ago to steer clear for his own mental health.

But every once in a while an edit would slip through and if he maybe had a private folder dedicated to anything Matz, well, not even Seonghwa knew about that. So he wasn’t too surprised when an old edit of them being awkward on a live popped up. He cringed at the way younger Hongjoong looked - shaper angels, thick eyebrows, the haircut …he looked like his brother before Bumjoong found his style. But beside him Seonghwa looked radiant in a striped shirt that brought out the rich melanin in his skin. He looked healthy, not whitewashed or bordering on too thin. Not that he was complaining - Seonghwa was by far the most gorgeous person he had ever had the privilege of loving in any capacity - but it was interesting to note the differences after so many years.

“I watch videos of them online,” Seonghwa was saying on screen. He could remember this conversation, vaguely. It wasn’t too long after debut.

“ You think they’re adorable, ” younger Hongjoong agreed, adjusting the camera. Younger Seonghwa mentioned something about how babies were treated specially and the awkwardness came rushing back as he heard his own mouth open and say ‘ then I’ll make you a baby’ . 

It was technically out of context because he was talking about a filter but even then he’d known that was a weird thing to say. He’d immediately tried to laugh it off and afterwards Seonghwa had joked about it for months, making kissy faces at him in between recording. They hadn’t been dating then and he’d been deeply convinced he’d weirded the older out. He’d resolved to skip every edit of that moment on social media for life.

And look, he didn’t begrudge Atiny their fun. It’s not like he could come out and say ‘ Atiny are too smart. We actually are together. Please take care of us and love us anyway’ . But he still felt embarrassed seeing edits of them clearly being idiots in the early days where they’d danced and danced around each other.

His eyes skittered down to the caption as he went to secretly save it and caught on the words. 

why not captain? Make Hwa a real momma he said yes to the ring 🤭

And it was just a dumb string of letters but it made him hesitate, his thumb hovering over the little ribbon to save it. He watched their faces play over and over again on the screen, Seonghwa with his little smile and his younger self too busy focusing on getting things just right for the live to witness it. There was a little ‘6’ under the comment section and, against his better judgment, he tapped on it.

any kid they made would be too talented they’d rule the world

right?!!

captain, can you fight? I’ll giv Seonghwa the babies he wants

My heart ~ Can you imagine if it was possible?

If it was I’m sure they’d be on it *wink wink*

what makes you think they haven’t tried?? lol

He should be creeped out probably. These anonymous people were talking about his sex life that they had no idea about. They can say whatever behind their profile pictures of the members or anime characters or dogs. He should be bothered and in other cases - when the comments brought hate and threatened violence - he would be but he couldn’t stop rereading these ones.

The video kept playing on a loop and at some point their voices in his earbud started to sound like Seonghwa’s little animal crossing characters. Still, he couldn’t look away because something was trapping him.

If it was possible…

“I thought you were going to sleep,” Jinseong said, voice groggy. Hongjoong jumped and clutched his phone to his chest, heart pounding. His hyung raised a confused brow under the brim of his beanie. “Don’t tell me you’re getting risky texts while he’s literally at the fashion show. That’s bold. They don’t let you keep the clothes, right?”

“No,” Hongjoong denied quickly, ears burning. “No, we don’t do that, hyung. Seriously,” he grumbled. “Don’t even put that into the universe.”

“Right,” Jinseong said, chuckling. “Sure.”

“It’s just an old reel of me and Hwa,” Hongjoong said, flipping the phone around and proving it. His hyung looked at it for a moment and then shrugged.

“Whatever. If you wanna look at photos of your…best friend,” he whispered, keeping his voice down, though he waggled his eyebrows. “I won’t stop you. It’s cute, honestly. I also look at pics of my wife when we travel. But only the innocent kind. She’d kill me if I had anything else where someone could find it.”

“Hyung,” he whined, thunking his head back against the seat and groaning. “I’m getting some sleep for real this time,” he stated, serious now. His hyung shrugged and got up to go find the bathroom leaving the producer to click off his phone and close his eyes.

Wife… He snorted, pulling his hoodie up around his face to block out some of the light. He’s not my wife.

But the thought stayed there, latched onto his brain.

Sleep caught up with him fast and he was out the rest of the flight.

✦

Whatever weirdness he’d felt on the plane went away once they were back into schedules a week later. Seonghwa was back from Paris after his whirlwind fashion debut, the other members were wrapping up their various vacation activities and they were getting ready for festivals - and eventually their fourth quarter comeback. There wasn’t really time for anything else.

Already they were busy doing photoshoots for the various album versions. A lot of them had already been completed right when they’d come off the American stretch of the tour. This one required makeup, wigs and plenty of time so they’d blocked off the day for it.

“What do you think?” Wooyoung asked, walking over and doing a twirl. He was in an all white oversized get up that made his skin glow with its rich tan hue. It made his face look more defined too.

“You look good,” Hongjoong complimented. He reached out and felt the seams of the intentionally reverse lined jacket. “All white has always made you look more mature.”

Wooyoung smiled but it was more shy than usual, like he’d expected different. Hongjoong tried not to frown. It had been like that for a while now, maybe ever since the younger singer got that diagnosis and had suffered for months through pain and irritation. Not even San could coax Wooyoung back to the confident, radiant person he’d been before.

“Thanks, hyung,” Wooyoung said, smile faltering before he made it return stronger. He turned to leave and Hongjoong reached out. He didn’t want him to leave feeling awkward. “Huh?”

“Have you seen-”

There was a peel of laughter and they both whipped their heads to the side. Across the set, Seonghwa was crouched down with his arms wrapped around his knees. He looked like a fucking vision, maybe one you were blessed to see before you die, in his shoot outfit. He’d been thrilled by the idea of the pink wig but it had been his express idea to do a more feminine style makeup look. With his exposed stomach and the body chains delicate against his skin it was enough to stop anyone in their tracks just to stare.

But it wasn’t the outfit or the hair that caught their attention. It was the way Seonghwa was playing with Yoojin, the four year old daughter of one of their veteran stylists. He had a bubble wand up and was making it a challenge for Yoojin to pop them all. Her giggles were contagious because the other staff around them joined in. Even Yeosang, who’d drifted over after his solo shoot, had a decidedly enchanted expression. Seonghwa broke out into a joyful smile, eyes squinted and teeth showing.

“Holy shit,” Wooyoung said and Hongjoong realized he’d been staring for a whole minute. “You’re so whipped,” the younger sing-songed before bursting into laughter. No matter how embarrassing it was to be caught out, he had to admit it was relieving to hear that familiar squawk. “Oh my god, that’s so cute. Make sure you pull his photocard in the unboxing, okay, hyung? Frame it maybe.”

“I was gonna say something nice to you but now I don’t want to,” Hongjoong said sulkily. Wooyoung only laughed more. “Whatever, go be pretty with the others,” he said, waving him off. 

He waited a moment, hovering around the chairs awkwardly before approaching the sweet scene of his boyfriend and Yoojin. “Can I play too?” he asked, crouching down. Yoojin whipped her head around and he felt his heart melt when she squealed with delight.

“Hong-samchon,” she cried. He used to think the nickname was embarrassing but the more she and other staffs’ kids called him that, the more he decided it wasn’t so bad. Yoojin got shy, bringing her fists up to her mouth and hiding behind them. Her cheeks were a little pink, just like her princess dress. “Hi,” she said after a second. When Hongjoong looked over her head, he saw Seonghwa holding back a laugh. 

“Hi, Yoojinnie,” he said, patting her head. She leaned into it with a smile and then she turned to look at Seonghwa over her shoulder, mouth dropped open like she couldn’t believe it. 

“I want a head pat too,” Hwa said, puffing his cheeks out in a pout. It looked extra cartoonish with the blue contacts and the pink hair.

“I dunno, do you think he deserves it?” he stage whispered to Yoojin who tapped her chin in thought. Seonghwa made puppy eyes at her and fluttered his lashes. The little girl smiled and turned, leaning into Hongjoong’s side so she could whisper in his ear.

“He should get a head pat and a kiss,” she said, firm. “For good luck.”

Hongjoong felt his ears burn but who was he to deny this adorable demand? So he nodded seriously and stood up, drawing her into his arms so he could hold her on his hip. Hwa stood up too and came close when he was waved forward. “Okay, you give him the head pat and I’ll kiss him, got it?” he asked, making it sound like they were on a mission. Yoojin nodded gravely.

With a small hand, she motioned for Seonghwa to lean down and when he did she patted him gently. “Good luck, samchon,” she said, very serious. “Take pretty pictures.”

“Thank you, Yoojin-nim,” Seonghwa said, hand over his heart like he was some kind of manhwa prince. “I will do my best.” She seemed satisfied but then she turned to Hongjoong, pressing a hand to his cheek. Behind her back he could see her mother watching with an amused expression, talking to the other stylists who were observing. 

“Hong-samchon,” she said, pouting her lips out. “It’s your turn. Tell him good luck. You have to,” she said, squishing his cheek as if he was trying to get out of it. 

“Alright,” he agreed and then turned to look at Seonghwa. “Come here, jagi,” he said, waving him over with the hand not holding Yoojin to his side. She had her arms wrapped around his neck, watching them like a hawk. Seonghwa sidled closer and the captain rolled his eyes. “Oh, just give me your cheek,” he said, huffing. 

Unlike when they’d been younger and he’d acted as if it were a pain, he pressed his lips to Seonghwa’s cheekbone without hesitation. It was warm and he smelled floral, probably from the earlier shoot with the bouquets. It wasn’t long, just a peck, but Seonghwa beamed when he pulled back and Yoojin giggled, hiding her face in Hongjoong’s neck. “Thank you, Captain Hongjoong,” the older said, cheeks now as pink like his hair.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hongjoong said to cover for being flustered. “Go take those pretty pictures. Princess Yoojinnie commands it.”

Seonghwa nodded dutifully and waved goodbye before heading off for his solo shots. Yoojin hugged Hongjoong tight, tapped both his cheeks and then squirmed to get down. She ran off to where a now blue haired Yunho was petting one of the manager’s dogs who’d come to the shoot as well. Her mother came over and started fixing the captain’s hair and any makeup that had been dislodged.

“That was very sweet,” she said, using the flipside of a brush to nudge his bangs back into place. The Westwood brand horns on his headband shifted a little, the weight of them comforting. “You two are a handsome couple.”

“Ah, thank you, aju-nim,” he said, flushing. Thankfully it wasn’t likely to be seen with him not being under much light and having heavier foundation on. 

“You looked like a little family,” she continued, lips ticking up into a smirk. She’d known them a very long time and it was showing. “You, Seonghwa, a kid. Very cute.” 

Suddenly his thoughts were back on that stupid instagram reel and he could see in his mind’s eye the way Seonghwa would look with a son or a daughter on his hip. He would be telling them all about the fun day they’d have and how maybe if they could convince him, Hongjoong might just get them a treat at the cafe. They’d throw little pleading looks his way and he’s such a sucker he’d end up spending too much money on the both of them.

“-bothing you?” Yoojin’s mom asked. Hongjoong blinked, shaken out of his thoughts. 

“Sorry?” he said, confused. “Ah, sorry, aju-nim. I got distracted,” he admitted. She tutted at him but in a way that said she wasn’t upset. 

“I asked if the horns are bothering you. Are they sitting too far forward? I can adjust the headband.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “They’re fine. I think I’m all good for the shoot. Just have to wait to be called up.” She nodded and left him there to go check on San’s hair. He couldn’t help the way he twisted his team ring around his finger, thoughts drifting until he was summoned for his turn.

✦

“Can you believe they got the same answer again ?” Wooyoung crowed as they shuffled in the door to the dorm. Seonghwa herded them in, letting Hongjoong go in front of him. It was their dorm after all. He was only here because Joong had frantically asked if he could talk when they were done with the fortune teller schedule. 

“I don’t believe in all that stuff,” Jongho said, rolling his eyes. Then a devious smile crossed his face, painting him as the maknae he really was. He always chose the worst possible times to act his age, usually when it would embarrass one of his hyungs. He pointedly looked at Seonghwa. “All he had to do was take one look at the hyungs and he could just guess they were whipped. I mean, look at them,” he said, gesturing broadly at the two oldest.

“Don’t you two have anything else to do now that we’re home?” Hongjoong asked, sounding annoyed. They were all still standing in the kitchen area, looking into the dark living room.

“Why? Do eomma and appa need private time?” Wooyoung teased, taking off his denim jacket and hanging it in the hall closet. He was always weirdly militant about putting things away and sometimes Seonghwa wanted to tease him for being mom-like too. “Chasing us off? You really are married. Might as well make it official,” he joked. Jongho snickered and even Seonghwa found himself snorting behind a hand. 

Really, it was pretty funny that even six years later they were being told they were a perfect match. Back then he was too scared about his feelings being found out to even joke around. It wasn’t until he figured out that maybe it wasn’t so one-sided that he’d started to be bold about it and push Joong’s buttons.

This time had just been sweet. Atiny already had the idea - not that they were aware they were right in some ways - that he and Hongjoong were a pair. They didn’t overly go out of the way to hide affectionate glances, touches or words. When the fortune teller had insisted they were compatible and like a married couple he’d just felt a swell of joy before moving on to the next topic.

“Yeah? And how would we make it more official than we already have?” Hongjoong snapped. The tone change startled all of them. Jongho froze in the middle of getting a glass of water, hand on the door of the fridge. Wooyoung’s eyes got wide and round with shock as Hongjoong kept talking. “We can’t get married here and it’s not like we can have kids. This is as official as it can be right now so maybe keep your jokes to yourself.”

There was a deafening silence and Seonghwa couldn’t even begin to figure out how to diffuse the situation. He watched as Wooyoung’s face went through a range of emotions - confusion, embarrassment, hurt and finally blank as the walls he built when he was upset came up. 

Hongjoong seemed to regret snapping instantly for what it was worth.

“Wait, shit, I’m sorry, Young-ah,” the captain said, running a hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“Whatever, hyung,” the younger said with a bored tone, shooting Seonghwa a look that said ‘ you deal with him’ before turning on his heel and going to his room, the door closing with a clang. Hongjoong hung his head with a sigh and Seonghwa looked over at Jongho who was watching them both with a curious expression that did little to hide the very real anxiety behind his eyes.

Deciding this might be something to address immediately, he reached out and gripped his boyfriend’s wrist before leading him down the hall. They passed Wooyoung’s room which had low light seeping out from underneath. They could hear his voice speaking lowly and Seonghwa imagined San or Yeosang might be on the other end of that call.

“I should talk to him,” Hongjoong mumbled but Seonghwa shook his head, opening the door to the captain’s bedroom instead. Really both his and Hongjoong’s rooms had a mix of each other’s belongings in it but it was clear whose was whose. Hongjoong kept his stuff all over, not messy but cluttered. The spaces Seonghwa had taken up were the only ones fully organized. A perfect mix of the two of them. No wonder they were teased about being the old married couple on the team.

He shut and locked the door, leaning back against it with crossed arms. “What was that?” he asked softly. It wasn’t helpful to get mad when it was clear something was bothering his boyfriend. Hongjoong didn’t respond well to frustration in the way Seonghwa didn’t take well to being lectured.

Hongjoong looked conflicted where he stood in the middle of the room. “I don’t know. I’m just…This whole thing with the fortune teller and the jokes, sometimes it just gets to me,” he said, sighing.

“Because they’re about us being married?” he asked, cautious. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that Hongjoong loved him, even before they’d made it official and it had just been friendship, but he was aware that his best friend didn’t always like the teasing. “We don’t have to keep bringing it up if it bothers you, Joong-ah. I’ll tell people off.”

“It doesn’t bother me,” the captain said, scrubbing his face with a hand before pushing back the hair off his forehead. It was an entirely inappropriate time to think so but it made him look incredibly attractive. “You don’t need to deny it or anything. I would marry you right fucking now. Give me the papers, yeah?”

“Oh wow, um, that’s-” Seonghwa stuttered, feeling his heart flutter just a little. He knew Hongjoong felt strongly about them being together. And maybe he’d dreamed up a life after Ateez where he and Joong got to live somewhere nice and argue and make love and go out for dinner with the kids sometimes. But they didn’t need some license to make that a reality. “Wow.”

Hongjoong didn’t seem to be able to spit out the words so he was left to guess what might be the problem. “Is it jealousy?” Seonghwa hedged.  “This isn’t because I was compatible with Young-ah, right? I thought we were long past being jealous of the kids. You know I don’t see them that way. If anything, it just means Wooyoung and I have the closest bond. Like having a favorite child. Which you will never repeat outside this room,” he said, threatening at the end. They would never hear the end of it from the younger six. He didn’t even really have a favorite. It’s just that he and Wooyoung usually had more to bond over like cooking, skinship and a love of going out to local places. “Besides, you’re the only one that’s getting called my husband.”

“I know that,” Hongjoong said, eyes round. “It’s not jealousy. It’s just, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and there’s been so many things lately that keep coming back to the thing I’ve been- And today when they said we were the eomma and appa of the group it was like I suddenly felt different about it,” he rambled.

Trying to find the root of the issue, Seonghwa thought about what he’d just heard. “So you don’t like it anymore? I mean, it was really just for content I think. I can’t remember the last time any of them called us that for real. Maybe when they’re super upset about something and need to talk but-”

“No, ugh, Hwa, stop guessing. It’s not that I don’t like it. I actually, um,” he paused, the confidence in his voice guttering out the longer he talked. Seonghwa waited patiently. That was key when getting Kim Hongjoong to talk about his feelings. Try to push too hard and he shuts down. “I like being called that.”

“I mean, it’s heartwarming,” Seonghwa admitted, smiling. “Sometimes I wish they listened to us as if we were parents.” Because in reality, it was like herding cats and he couldn’t even imagine having to do that with six young children. At least some of them had come mostly grown up when they formed the group.

“But it’s more than that,” Hongjoong said, shaking his head. “I like when you’re called- when they say you’re my, ah, wife. Not because I think you’re a woman, because I don’t . But like, you do feminine things and masculine things and it’s hot and then they’re all like that’s your wife right there and I want to say yeah, it is. And then you have to go all, you know, with babies and it’s like I’m gonna die from how it feels to see that. Like, how am I supposed to function when you’re holding Yoojinnie or that one guy’s newborn we saw at the video recording or-”

“Wait,” Seonghwa said, holding up a hand. “Wait, I’m confused. If you like the whole ‘married’ couple thing and you like me being your ‘wife’, why are you even upset?” 

He liked being called Hongjoong’s wife too. More than Hongjoong liked it or so he’d thought up to now. He really had no problem with being viewed as masculine, feminine, both, niether. It was a space he was exploring now that he was older, more established. 

That and he’d had a really honest conversation with both his parents not long after the group’s fifth anniversary. He’d sat them both down and explained that he wanted to explore his identity and that he was not throwing away everything they’d raised him on. They hadn’t really protested much. His mother had just asked when Hongjoong was planning to visit so they could speak with their ‘son-in-law’ about future plans and to conspire on Christmas gifts.

So there wasn’t anything to be upset about. Seonghwa liked being the ‘Captain’s Wife’ as Jongho had once dubbed him and Hongjoong liked that too.

“Because-” Hongjoong said, too loud. He flopped down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. Seonghwa made no move to join him. Sometimes it was easier to say things on your mind when you didn’t have to make eye contact. “Because I saw this clip on Instagram and it made me think about what it would be like if we could, you know?”

“If we could be married?”

“If we could have a family,” Hongjoong said, rolling his head to meet Seonghwa’s gaze. He looked mortified and maybe a little afraid of what Hwa might say. Which was ridiculous, really. He would never deny Hongjoong’s need to express himself.

He was about to say so when Hongjoong continued.

“I know it’s not possible, before you say anything,” the captain said. “I’m not stupid. Obviously neither of us have the, um, parts, to have kids with each other for real. But I can’t help it, you know? They would be a perfect mix of us .”

And oh . It was like that . 

Here Seonghwa was thinking this was about legal issues, about the constraints of their society and how they couldn’t be public which was hard when you had pride in your partner. But that’s not what this was about. Not entirely.

He had to control his face so the grin he was holding back didn’t show. 

Everyone, including himself, had always been under the impression that it was Seonghwa who was obsessed with being a parent. Which, of course, he was . There was always something in the back of his mind that just knew he was meant to be one someday. The fact that he wasn’t really interested in women and that he was dead set on only one man didn’t actually affect that desire all that much. There was adoption, surrogacy, and fostering to consider. And that was years and years down the line.

What he’d failed to consider is that Hongjoong might want them just as bad.

Which, now that he was looking at his boyfriend, was both endearing and so attractive he felt a little lightheaded. He was grateful to be leaning on the door or else he’d melt into a puddle. That said, there was no way he was going to let the producer get away from this conversation now that it had been brought up.

“They would be,” he agreed, cocking his head to the side. Hongjoong’s head lifted from the bed, his gaze scrutinizing.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Of course not, jagiya,” Seonghwa said, shaking his head. No, he wasn’t making fun of him. He was going to indulge . He pushed off the doorframe and sat on the bed next to his boyfriend, reclining on one arm so he was looking down at the younger. Hongjoong was still flopped across the bed and his expression was vulnerable. “What do you think they would be like, hm? I bet they’d have your little grin. You know, the one you get when you’re doing something you know might be naughty.”

Hongjoong’s lips clamped shut and Seonghwa enjoyed how a blush was starting to paint the ridges of his cheekbones. “I don’t do that,” he pouted. 

“You don’t?” Seonghwa asked, brows raised with amusement. He used the arm he wasn’t leaning on to brush Hongjoong’s bangs out of his face. He always liked it better when he could see those pretty eyes uninhibited.

“You’re not weirded out, right?” Hongjoong asked, flicking his gaze across the older’s face. It was so cute that he would be worried as if Seonghwa wouldn’t willingly follow him off a cliff if he led the way. That was probably too intense to say out loud, not in such a vulnerable moment,  so he settled for leaning down to kiss Joong’s forehead. 

“Not weirded out,” he promised. He pulled back and then got up, slipping off his sweater and his jeans. He folded them and placed them by the desk. Hongjoong sat up, eyes wide.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting comfortable. Outside clothes shouldn’t be on the bed, Hongjoong-ah,” he said, lightly scolding. He left the t-shirt and boxers on and then shuffled to the head of the bed, eyebrows raised in obvious question until Hongjoong stripped down too. “Come here, jagi,” he encouraged, patting his lap. Hongjoong paused at the side of the bed, looking skeptical.

“You want me to sit in your lap?”

“I do. I want you to sit in my lap,” Seonghwa confirmed, patting his legs. “Don’t be a baby about it,” he teased, emphasizing the word. Hongjoong scowled but even so, he clambered up to settle on the older’s thighs. They were facing each other awkwardly and Seonghwa brought his hands to the producer’s hips to keep him steady. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Hongjoong echoed, smirking. He leaned in and Seonghwa enjoyed the first press of their lips together. 

They’d both been so busy, between visiting family and schedules and flights. There had been exactly zero time to just enjoy each other’s company. So he savored it, parting his lips so their tongues could slide against each other. Hongjoong tasted like the strawberry gum he’d been chewing after they left the set earlier, sweet and maybe a little artificial. It didn’t matter though, he liked running his tongue over the soft part of the inside of his cheek, nibbling on Joong’s bottom lip and pulling back which always got a whimper. 

It did now, too, and he started to get hard just thinking about how much he loved the man on his lap. He ran his hands over his boyfriend’s shirt, squeezed his ribcage and brushed a thumb over a nipple. “Ah, sensitive,” Hongjoong said, squirming as if he’d been tickled. 

“I know,” Seonghwa said, chuckling but not letting up as he started kissing his exposed neck. “You’re so sexy, Joongie,” he said, smirking when Hongjoong cleared his throat in embarrassment. “Bet you’ll make a great appa.”

He felt Hongjoong tense under his hands but he didn’t stop talking.

“I don’t know what it would take to make it happen, but I’m willing to try as many times as we need to,” he murmured into the younger’s ear. Hongjoong shivered and he had to contain a laugh. He loved getting him into a headspace where he could let loose. They didn’t get the chance often.

“You don’t have to feed into my weird fantasy,” Hongjoong said, though he was still leaning in, still gripping Seonghwa’s biceps to keep himself steady. “Seriously.”

“Who said it’s just yours?” the older countered, pulling back. He gripped Hongjoong’s hips and yanked him closer. The producer’s hands flew up, bracing against the wall behind the headboard and caging Seonghwa in. Their cocks brushed together through their boxers and both groaned. 

“Fuck,” Hongjoong cursed, biting his lip so hard it looked bloodless for a moment before he released it, letting it plump up kiss swollen red. He dropped his head between his arms, panting as Seonghwa hummed.

“That’s the plan,” Seonghwa said lazily. “You fuck me, make me a sweet little eomma. Bet I’d look good, all round and full of life,” he said, arching his back and forcing their chests to rub against each other. It was interesting to see how even though his own waist was much tinier, his shoulders were broader than his boyfriend’s. He drew him in for another, lazier kiss. “I heard there’s a glow when you’re expecting.”

Hongjoong seemed out of his depth if the horny and confused look on his face was anything to go by so Seonghwa decided he’d unleash the things he’d kept buried. He’d thought about this plenty - when they were sleeping next to each other, when he saw Joong treat the members or juniors with respect and encouragement, when he’d seen edits of them online…

Unlike Hongjoong or the others, he had no qualms about looking up fan content about himself - particularly about him and Hongjoong. He’d read Twitter threads, Tumblr head canons and novels worth of fanfiction. He was no stranger to the kinks out there even if they were generally only theory for him. After all, you could still get an idea of what you liked…even just in theory.

“Poor thing, did I break you?” He asked, teasing as he looked up into his boyfriend’s face. “It’s just…you promised me, Joong. Don’t you remember? You said you’d make me a baby. And I want one,” he said, hands tightening on the younger’s hips. “I want it.”

“You…you want it?” Hongjoong asked, mouth dropping open. He swallowed hard and it made his Adam’s apple bob. Seonghwa followed it with his eyes and resisted the urge to bite.

“So bad, Hongjoongie. You have no idea,” he said, tingling with excitement as he felt the producer start to grind down against him. “I dream about it. I think about what you’d look like with our baby in your arms. How you’d look at them with starry eyes and I’d just know I’d made the right choice. Because you’d be a great abeoji.”

“H-how do you know?” Hongjoong asked, voice wavering. He looked hopeful but with restraint, like he was afraid to be too invested.

“Because I trust you,” Seonghwa said and that wasn’t really part of the scene he was creating. That was just the truth. His faith in Hongjoong was so strong he wasn’t sure what it would take to actually shake it. This was the man he’d placed his future on as a trainee. This was the man who stayed up until all hours of the morning just to write the perfect solo song for the members even if it never got released. This was Kim Hongjoong. 

The producer closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath through his nose. He seemed unable to do much else so Seonghwa pressed on. 

“Do you want a boy or a girl?” he asked casually, picking at the hem of the younger’s shirt. Every once in a while he’d expose a sliver of skin and he was tempted to run the edge of a nail along it to see the muscles jump. But he could be patient. 

“What?”

“A boy or a girl? I’ve read that if I’m on top it’s more likely to be a girl,” he mused. At least, according to the websites he’d read and whispers he’d heard over the years from aunties. “So which is it, Hongjoongie?”

“What if I want more than one?”

Seonghwa relaxed back against the headboard. Finally , it seemed his boyfriend was letting himself sink into the fantasy, to let go of the ‘impossibility’ and enjoy the fun of it. “Then I guess we’ll find out if all those old wives’ tales are true,” he said, grinning.

Hongjoong’s lips were back on his in an instant, hands cupping the singer’s cheeks to keep him in place. It was messy, more desperate. He pushed up into it, letting Hongjoong devour him. He let his hands creep down to ruck up the producer’s shirt, finally able to palm warm, soft skin. As they rocked against each other felt almost engulfed by how much he wanted this, wanted Joong .

“Jagi,” he said, breaking apart. He flicked his eyes down to see saliva, slick and gleaming in the lamplight, on his boyfriend’s lips. “Joong-ah, take your shirt off,” he said, breathless. For once there was immediate compliance. 

Wasting no time, he leaned in and ran his tongue over an exposed collarbone and then down to a nipple. Taking it between his lips, he felt hot satisfaction spread across his body as he was rewarded with a guttural moan from the producer. He took that opportunity to let his hands wander again, all the way to his favorite place - that full, round ass that fans loved to watch on stage. “All mine,” he said, licking a stripe up the younger’s throat and squeezing the handfuls he had. They could all look but only he would ever get to really touch.

“Take your shirt off too,” Hongjoong said, voice raspy. Petite hands yanked at the hem and Seonghwa gladly pulled it over his head. He’d worked hard on his body this last comeback and he was far from being shy. Those days, when he and Hongjoong had still been figuring out how to touch and feel , were long behind them. They’d seen each other at their best and worst so there was nothing to hide. “Fuck, you’re pretty.”

He’d preen at the compliment but he was already trying to put his lips back on his boyfriend’s body. Hongjoong stopped him, hand curling up to tangle in the singer’s hair and hold his head back. “Give me a minute to look at you,” Hongjoong said, titling his head in that way he did  - the way that made him look a little unhinged on stage. Seonghwa whimpered.

Hongjoong sat back and used the hand not holding Hwa to skim over his throat and down to his chest. “Wow, those workouts with Sannie have really done wonders, huh?” he said, tracing a fingernail around a dusky nipple. It made the muscle in the singer’s throat twitch and the nipple harden under the attention. “Look how big you’ve gotten.” That hand cupped a defined pec and squeezed. Seonghwa snickered but it was cut off when his hair was tugged on. “I’m serious. You could just…” Hongjoong trailed off, releasing Seonghwa’s hair and sliding the hand down to cup the other side. Thumbs swiped over hot skin, teased both nipples until the singer squirmed.

Seonghwa put his hands over Hongjoong’s and pushed, making his pec muscles bunch together obscenely. He didn’t need to look in a mirror to imagine what it looked like. Hongjoong’s blown pupils and the way he rocked his hips forward told him enough. “They’re rounder these days,” Hwa said, smirking and thunking his head back against the wall. He licked his bottom lip, feeling how it was puffy from kissing. “Imagine if I was expecting. They’d get fuller. Would have to when the milk came in.” And oh, he felt a little silly saying that out loud, but he couldn’t deny how it made his own body react, how he felt the tingle of arousal as more of a series of sparks over his nerves now.

“Fuck, Hwa,” Hongjoong hissed, biting his lip. His eyes were glued to the way they’d forced his chest to form ‘cleavage’. “They’d be sensitive,” the producer said, scooting back on the older’s lap so he could lean down. He put his nose in that little hint of a crease and inhaled, pressing an edge of tongue to the skin. “They’d be more noticeable and I’d have to walk in front of you because I can't have anyone else looking. It would be illegal.”

“Jealous brat,” Seonghwa joked, sucking in a deep breath that only made his chest puff out more. Hongjoong retaliated with open mouth kisses across his sternum. “But you like being like that. You like that people look at me and you get to know they have no chance. Then you get to be the big bad captain protecting his precious wife.”

“As if you’re any less turned on by being intimidating. You’re more likely to bite than I am,” Hongjoong scoffed, letting his hands drop. He scooted back until he was off the older’s legs so he could pull Seonghwa down the bed. The singer let out an embarrassing squeak as he was manhandled to lay flat but it quickly became a moan when Joong started kissing down his chest to his belly. “God, if you were showing. Nobody would even try to take you away from me,” he groaned. His tongue circled Seonghwa’s belly button. “Who would even dare?”

An arm crept under his back and then lifted, forcing Seonghwa into an arch that pressed his stomach up into the producer’s lips. He knew his cock must be standing at attention by now and he felt how the fabric of his boxers was sticky with precome. Hongjoong laughed, just a breathy sound, and then he bit down on the skin right above the waistline.

“Ah,” Seonghwa gasped out, blood now pounding in his ears. His legs, which had been loosely parted so Hongjoong could settle between them, clenched around the producer’s shoulders. There would be a mark now. And since they didn’t have any revealing outfits for upcoming schedules he didn’t have to worry about it being a problem. As long as there was only one. 

“You’d be so round here too,” the captain continued, keeping Hwa in that awkward arch. A palm smoothed over the singer’s belly. “They’d have to pry me off you once you started showing. I mean, I don’t even know if I could be in public without wanting to put my hands on you. I’d break decency laws.”

“Well, it would fit the lore. But I thought you didn’t like skinship,” Seonghwa teased, though it sounded a bit strained as he held the arch and tried to focus through Hongjoong now palming his cock. Finally, the arm under his back retreated and he let his core muscles relax as he sunk back to the bed. 

“It’s different when-” he cut off, mesmerized as Seonghwa brought his long legs around the producer and up to his chest in order to wiggle out of his boxers. It took a little effort - and all the hours of stretching to increase his flexibility - but he got them off and tossed them aside. “When…”

“When it’s your wife ?” the singer suggested, letting his legs go back to being split on either side of Hongjoong’s waist. He was naked now and he liked the power he held being splayed out. The producer’s mouth dropped open and he didn’t seem to be able to look away. “It’s hard for me to stay away from you too, you know? Atiny are always calling you fatherly or like a dad. I think it’s the attitude,” he said, smirking. “And the way you hold me down, but they wouldn’t know that.”

“They better not,” Hongjoong said, suddenly snapping back to the present. He ran hands up each of Seonghwa’s legs, squeezed his thighs. “What do you want?” he asked, distracted by the little scar on the older’s inner thigh that he got while working out once. He was tracing it so lightly it was maddening.

“Your mouth,” Hwa said after a moment of trying to get a grip on himself. It was hard to focus when that hand was so close to where he wanted it, inches from his cock bobbing against his stomach. “Your hand. Anything, jagi,” he pleaded. He just wanted to be touched.

“Just touching? Thought you wanted a baby?” Hongjoong teased. He stood up, really dragging Hwa to the end of the bed now so the oldest’s legs were hanging off the edge. Then he sank to his knees. Seonghwa propped himself up on his elbows just enough that he could see his boyfriend smirk, a truly devious smile, before leaning in. 

The first swipe of his tongue up the singer’s cock had Seonghwa gasping. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Hongjoong between his legs, pretty lips resting on the head as his tongue peeked out. It was an effort not to buck his hips up into that wet heat but he still  couldn’t stop the way his cock twitched. “Feels so good,” he said, unoriginal but honest. “Missed this. Just want you to touch me.”

“Has it been that long?” the producer asked, using his hand to stroke lazily up and down the shaft. “I wish we could’ve had more time in Paris, you know? And privacy. Imagine what we could’ve done with one night.” He put his mouth back on Seonghwa’s cock, taking the first few inches. This time he bobbed his head, hollowing his cheeks. 

“We-” Seonghwa started, flopping back down and bringing a fist to his mouth to muffle his moan. Hongjoong put a hand on his lower belly to keep him pinned down. “We could’ve conceived,” he said eventually. “Maybe that would’ve been the night.”

Screwing his eyes shut, he let himself imagine. What would that night have looked like if Hongjoong had stayed instead of flying to Korea? Would they have stayed in the hotel room, the staff giving them knowing but amused glances as they bid them goodnight? Maybe they w ould’ve gone to walk on the Champs-Élysées, no worries about being recognized as they watched lights twinkle on the Seine and had warm, rich coffee. They’d hold hands, smile at the locals and wander into shops. Then they’d go back to the room, all giggly and flushed, and he’d ride Hongjoong with the lights off and the windows uncovered because the risks were worth it for the end result. There’d be no way of confirming until weeks after but they’d know if it took. They would know.

The mouth on his cock bobbed and then drew off completely before swirling along the tip. The pressure of the hand steadily stroking him increased and he couldn’t help but point his toes with how good it felt. “C’mon, Hwa, let go,” Hongjoong encouraged. He was using that voice - husky, teasing, almost condescending. It never failed. When the producer sank back down on him, throat rippling as it went deep, he keened. He tried not to thrust but he only half succeeded. But Hongjoong knew him, knew his body, and he pulled off at the last second. Cum splattered across the producer’s chin and dripped back down on the singer’s thighs, hot in the cool air of the bedroom.

“Shit,” Seonghwa cursed, chest heaving as he caught his breath. He felt like he’d run a marathon. Hongjoong laughed and stood up, going to the nightstand to get a tissue and clean them off. He got as far as wiping his face before Seonghwa hauled him back onto the bed so he was laying on the older’s chest. It used to bother him, kissing after giving or receiving head, but years later he found he really didn’t care anymore. He wanted to devour the producer, re-stake his claim for the millionth time even if he’d do it a million times more in the future.

“Take your pants off,” he growled. Hongjoong reached back to shove them down. Seonghwa, perhaps childishly, used his foot to help push them off and then kicked them somewhere off the bed.

“Wow, that desperate?” Hongjoong chuckled. “Did you not just have a great orgasm?”

“Need you close,” the singer said, drawing him back in to kiss the younger’s jaw. “Hate it when we’re apart. Just want to keep you here. I don’t like sharing you but I also like when people can see you. They should know how hard you work,” he declared nonsensically, burying his nose in Hongjoong’s neck. He wrapped his arms around his back to grip his shoulders, effectively trapping him in place. “You do so much for all of us and other people too. Look at how you build us up. And you’re so smart. So much happens in that brain,” he complemented, using one hand to cradle the back of his boyfriend’s head.

“I’m not that great, Hwa,” Joong said shyly, even as he was starting to kiss Seonghwa's throat.

“You are,” he insisted, digging his nails into the producer’s shoulder. “You are that great. And if we have a child,” he started, feeling his emotions starting to leak through. Because this was so much more than a fantasy for him, the more concrete ideas of being a parent, and it was hard not to want . “They would love you, jagiya. They would look up to you. Just like the kids do. And I’d get to see the way you smile back at them. I’d get to witness you giving your heart to them.”

He felt a little breathless and having Hongjoong naked, cradled between his legs and now sucking a mark into the skin at his hairline in the hopes to hide it, wasn’t helping. Already, despite having just cum, he was getting aroused again. The younger was hard against his hip, frotting as he listened. 

“They’d have those stupid big headphones on their head and they’d start to slip off. You’d fix them and say ‘aegi-ya, make some noises’ so they could hear their voice on a recording,” he continued, the image painted in his mind. He wanted it so bad .

“I would have our baby singing before they walk,” Hongjoong promised, lips against his ear. “Think of how loved they’d be.” The producer pulled back, propping himself on one elbow because that was as far as Hwa would let him go. “I know it seems far away but I’ll give that to you,” he promised, so earnest it stole Seonghwa’s breath right from his lungs. “Someday.”

Something told him that promise wasn’t just a part of the scene. This was real, a thing to be discussed later when they were able to be honest and air out any fears and hopes. But it was a promise and Hongjoong didn’t break those often.

Right now, he needed this man in him, preferably as soon as possible.

“You never answered me,” Seonghwa said, eyes hooded as he looked into his boyfriend’s face. “Boy or girl first?”

A look of contemplation came across the younger’s face. A small smile spread over his lips and they tugged up at one corner into a smirk.

“Boy.”

Grinning, Seonghwa released his arms from around Joong’s shoulders and then rolled over, crawling up the bed to press his face into a pillow. He got his knees under himself and then arched as prettily as he could manage. It must’ve been a sight. He was grateful, now, that he went to regular waxing appointments. 

“You can’t just fucking look like that,” Hongjoong complained, but he was already crawling up to kneel behind the older. Hands landed on either side of his ass and he had to hide his face when he was spread further. “And nobody else knows.”

“Well, the wax lady knows,” Seonghwa chuckled. He yelped when he got a smack to his flank and he glared over his shoulder.

“But the wax lady isn’t going to knock you up, hm? Nobody else will ever know what this looks like, you all spread open and waiting,” Joong said, that little bit of jealous condescension in his voice again. “Only I get to see you like this. I get to fuck you open and make you cry on my dick. I get to cum as deep as I want and make you take it. Other people, they get a shadow of you because the real thing is for me. You’re mine.”

He punctuated that thought by pushing down on Seonghwa’s lower back, forcing him to put his chest to the bed and deepening the arch. Hongjoong just stared for a while, fingers idly squeezing. Seonghwa couldn’t even manage to move. He was focused more on breathing and not coming again so soon. After a minute he felt the bed dip, a drawer open to retrieve the well used bottle of lube, and then hands were back on him.

“Look at you,” Hongjoong rasped. The cap of the lube clicked open and cool liquid dribbled over his exposed hole and down to curve over his sac. He flinched at the temperature. “You’re so pretty, Hwa. My pretty wife,” he said, chuckling. “But, you know, I’m worried about you.”

“Worried?”

“You’re so thin, jagiya” Hongjoong said, ignoring the lube in favor of wrapping his hands around the older’s waist. “You’re so fucking tiny I could break you in half. That’s all I see, in comments online, you know? How your waist is fucking sinful and if they could just get once chance, just one, they’d leave bruises on it.” His hands squeezed. “But they won’t, right? Because you're mine. But it’s just so small and delicate. You’ll have to eat more if you want to grow a life,” he said, sliding one hand to the front to cup the skin of the singer’s stomach.

“It’s just for now,” Seonghwa said, sighing. It was weirdly nice to have his belly rubbed, somehow more intimate than getting fucked. But this topic had long been a dispute between them that had only been settled when Seonghwa agreed to working with an athletic dietician to make sure he maintained his body in a healthy way. It was like that for all the members, given they weren’t required to diet or anything, but Hongjoong had been aggressive when it came to the oldest. He could still remember the lecture about eating disorders and how devastated Joong would be if Seonghwa was hurting himself just to please others. “Just for a little while, jagiya.”

“I know,” Hongjoong said, still petting. And he did. Seonghwa suspected this was more about the roleplay than actual concern which eased a little of his own defensiveness that was itching below the surface.  “Promise me,” he asked. “Even if just for aegi. You have to be healthy to give me a baby.” 

And how could he not cry out at such a thing. Seonghwa promised him on the tail end of a moan, tightening his fist in the covers of the bed. Hongjoong seemed to take that as full agreement because he stopped stalling. Delicate fingers moved back to his ass and then one was circling his rim, just barely prodding. “So soft here,” he murmured, pushing in up to the first knuckle. Seonghwa said something muffled by the pillow and wiggled his hips.

This part was always something they both enjoyed. Whether it was Seonghwa slowly relaxing and letting Hongjoong in or the opposite on the occasions the captain wanted to be fucked dumb, it was perfect. They knew each other so well that every hitch of a breath, every twitch of muscles or subtle plea for more was something they could read. They were attuned, as the fortune teller had implied.

Two fingers pressed just right and Seongha thrust his hips down, grinding on nothing with his hips elevated. Hongjoong chuckled, doing it again and adding in a third finger just for the stretch. “Oh, I found it, hm?”

“Don’t tease me,” Seonghwa growled, unburying his face from the pillow. “I just want you already,” he implored. “Jagi, please. I need you.”

He tried letting his eyes get round and starry, a look he knew could and did weather his boyfriend’s resolve when it came to resisting the singer’s desires. It worked as always and he felt the fingers pull out, their absence leaving him too empty. He hated that feeling, hated being parted from Hongjoong for anything when they were like this, even if he knew better things were coming. 

The blunt head of Joong’s cock rested at his rim but didn’t go further so he whined. “No,” Hongjoong said, voice firm and commanding. “Don’t whine. I want you to be sure,” the producer said, leaning over him so he could press his forehead to Seonghwa’s back. He kissed the vertebrae there, skimmed his nose over a prominent shoulder blade. “You have to be sure you want this because I won’t pull out. I’ll fuck you until there’s no doubt. I’ll fuck you until we know it took. I’ll make sure you’re an eomma no matter what, but you have to be sure .”

“I’ve never wanted anything more than this,” Seonghwa pleaded and he felt a little sick at how deep that desire was. It made his heart pound, made his eyes water, and he’d really have to examine that later. Later, when there wasn’t the guarantee of getting fucked so, so good. “Do it, Hongjoong-ah. I’ve waited too long. You promised me.”

The head pushed in and he had to let the breath he’d been holding out so he could relax his muscles. Hongjoong wheezed a little, breath coming out in harsh puffs as he went stupidly slow. But the pace was somehow that much better because this slow he felt every fucking centimeter as it slipped in. While it was silly to think he had the exact shape memorized, he liked to imagine that his body was hollowed out to fit his boyfriend’s cock just right. That they really were made for each other.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight around me,” Hongjoong said, words slurred. He rocked back a little to let the singer catch his breath but he was right back on him, pushing in until he bottomed out. “How are you this perfect every time? I was such an idiot making you wait two whole years to figure out my feelings.”

“You’re right, pabo,” Seonghwa grunted out, pushing his hips back to meet the younger’s hips. “Should’ve kissed you in the car way before that.” He felt so full now and he had to fight the urge to clench down. It really had been a while. The last time they’d had time for actual fucking besides a quick hand or mouth had been over a month ago in between schedules and tour dates. Even then, he’d needed adjustment before they went at it.

A warm palm smoothed down his back, massaging his hips. “Hey, you alright?” Joong asked. The heat from his hand did wonders to help the older relax. It felt so good he might have to give his boyfriend those big boba eyes again to get a deeper massage later.

“I’m good,” he assured. The slight ache of being split open had started to fade and now he wanted what he was promised - a good ravishing. “Move, Joongie.”

The captain didn’t have to be told twice. He pulled back, his cock giving delicious friction along the singer’s walls, until the head was at the rim before pausing. “If you could see what I see,” Hongjoong breathed. “You’re just so pretty all wrapped around me. God, is there anything about you that isn’t easy to love?”

And really, Seonghwa couldn’t be responsible for the sound he made. Because if there was one thing, one insecurity he had that Hongjoong went far out of his way to curb, it was that he was difficult . He could be particular, to the point of being critical and harsh. Sometimes he needed to be alone, especially when things got overstimulating. Other times he just wanted to stop having to be the responsible one and he knew there were times where he reverted to childishness when it wasn’t helpful. But Hongjoong always, always reminded him that, despite all of that, he felt loving Park Seonghwa was the easiest thing he’d ever done.

But laying on his tummy with his boyfriend balls deep wasn’t really the time to be crying over having his existence validated. Right now, he wanted to be reminded why he belonged to this man, why he would give him as many kids as he wanted if it were in any way physically possible.

“Fuck me,” he begged, voice rough. “Stop making me ask,” It was bratty maybe but he was done waiting. He wanted it now. “Give me what I want.”

“Okay, jagi,” Hongjoong said, chuckling in that way the singer could literally visualize. He would have his eyelids half closed and his tongue was probably pressed to his inner cheek, a tiny smirk at the edges. “I’ll make you a baby.”

The first full thrust had the singer almost sliding up the bed. He let out an ‘ah’ and then Hongjoong was starting up at a brutal pace. Every stroke in hit his prostate just enough to make him dizzy. On every pull back, he felt like he had to entice that beautiful cock back in, not wanting it to leave.

“Every time I fuck you I think it can’t get better but it does,” Joong babbled. “It fucking does. I wanna squeeze you so hard. Wanna leave my fingerprints on you. Think they could cover that if you got them tattooed?” His hands were tight around Seonghwa’s waist, using it to pull him back on his cock. “Will anybody survive you in those fucking body chains? I’d snap them right off if you brought them home. Or maybe I could wrap them around your wrists. Bet you’d like it if you couldn’t do anything but take what I give.”

“You keep-” Seonghwa started, letting out a moan on a good thrust. “-say that but you know what I want you to give me. Don’t need chains for that.”

“You’re right,” Hongjoong said, sitting back a little more which forced Seonghwa to shove back and do more of the work. He was really thanking his past self for those core exercises now. “Don’t get antsy.”

The producer shifted forward again and this time draped himself over Seongwha’s back. He slid an arm under his chest to pry him from the bed until he was up on his arms. His thrusts were slower now, deeper and he kept a hand on Seonghwa’s chest, right over his pounding heart. “Sorry I haven’t been giving you enough attention,” Hongjoong said, rocking forward. “I know things have been busy.”

“You’ve been working hard. There’s a lot of moving parts this year,” Seonghwa countered, watching as sweat dripped off the now damp ends of his hair to the bed. The strain was less in this position and he could move with his boyfriend instead of having to work for it. This was more like their style - sensual, talkative, them.

“But I said I’d be home more,” Joong said, sighing as he ground in and circled his hips. “I know it’s hard when we’re apart so much.”

“Mmm,” Hwa hummed. 

He could remember that conversation, not long after the fifth anniversary. They’d been in a green room which was an extremely awkward venue to air out insecurities. But at the time Seonghwa had been frustrated - with his body, with the way he fit into the team and with being tired of everything. He’d seen Hongjoong talking on the phone, cheerfully arranging yet another collab or brand deal. It was what he was good at and it meant they, as a group, would have opportunities yet unreached. It also meant more time separated which, when Joong had returned to sit next to him in line for hair and makeup, Seonghwa snapped over.

He’d been angry then. Less at Hongjoong and more at how he felt like he was drifting away from their little grassroots family. He could still see the hurt and confused look on his boyfriend’s face. That had turned into an honest fight that was had in low voices and cold silences. Later, after the kids had gently asked what was happening and they’d been released by the production team, Seonghwa had apologized only to have Hongjoong commit to being home more often. And he meant it, had even started to work at home in order to fulfill that promise.

“You’re providing for us,” Seonghwa said after a moment, arching his back so Joong’s cock hit just right. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could last being so engulfed with pleasure and love. But he wanted Hongjoong to finish more so he would wait. Instead, he talked. “You do so much for the kids and me. Look at where we are, Joongie. Look what you’ve built for us.”

“I just want you all to be happy,” was the vulnerable reply. The hand on his chest tensed, the nails starting to dig in a little. The other that had been on his hip to control their pace tightened.

“You’re providing for your family,” Hwa said on a sigh. “Not just the members,” he said, sacrificing one of the arms holding him up to reach back. Thankfully he could trust Joong to keep him steady as he found the hand on his hip. He tangled their fingers and brought it forward, sliding to rest just below above his pubic bone, to that last little soft place that he could never seem to get rid of. “The one we’re starting.”

“I-” Hongjoong ground out, his hips suddenly jerking hard. Their rhythm changed, a little disjointed for a moment, and then settled back into something faster. Then, suddenly, it stopped. 

Hongjoong pulled out and the singer nearly cried at the emptiness. It was like having his heart ripped out and he collapsed onto his arms, hips meeting the bed. Before he could complain or even grind down into the covers, he was being rolled onto his back.

Hongjoong was back on him in an instant, parting the older’s legs and hitching them up around his waist. He guided himself back in and then he was fucking him harder than before. “Had to see your face,” he said, breathless and Seonghwa believed he couldn’t love him more. It was impossible.

He reeled the producer down with arms around his shoulders, like they’d been earlier. He needed his mouth, to pour his soul into the younger somehow. Hongjoong met his enthusiasm, their lips sliding against each other between panting breaths. Like this the angle was different and Seonghwa could hardly think, the only words in his mind were ‘mine’ and ‘baby’. All he wanted was to be pressed into the mattress, to be pinned and kept there. 

“Gonna cum,” he said, almost a whisper. “Jagi, I can’t-”

“That’s okay,” Joong assured, still grinding down. “You can come, Hwa. It’s alright.”

“Want you to fill me,” the singer babbled, voice cracking. “Please, please. Wanna give you a baby. I want it so bad , Hongjoong. Want to be an eomma. A g-good eomma,” he pleaded, feeling the muscles in his legs starting to quiver. With another deep thrust and the friction of his cock rubbing between their stomachs, he let go. His eyes probably rolled, at least he imagined, because he tossed his head back into the pillows and arched, feet pressed into the bed. Hongjoong fucked him through it, through the mess of his cum on their skin and the little tears budding at the edge of his eyes. 

He felt floaty but he was determined to see this through. He clenched down on Hongjoong after he regained the use of his limbs and started to talk. “Deeper, jagi,” he encouraged, wrapping his legs around the producer’s back and nearly dragging him in. “You have to be deeper if you want it to take.”

“Hwa,” Hongjoong said and for the first time all night it sounded like a whimper. Immediately he brought his hands up to cup the producer’s cheeks. “Want it to work,” the producer said, eyes squeezing shut as he chased his own release. 

“It will, yeobo.” They’d only jokingly used that word a few times but it felt right. For all the pain that they couldn’t get married for real, that they couldn’t biologically have children, that they had to hide, this he could give them. Hongjoong’s breath hitched. “Fill me up. Fill me up and let it happen. Together we can make it happen but you have to let go, baby.”

“I don’t want this to end,” Hongjoong admitted in a cracking voice, face screwing up like it did when he was so far past emotional that he couldn’t put on his little tsundere act. Seonghwa smiled at him, fond and full of love. His poor Hongjoongie, always so strong for them both. He really wished he could give him this for real. “I want to hold you.”

“When I’m big and round, you’ll still be holding me,” Seonghwa said, grinning. It made Hongjoong grin too but then he must’ve hit some good nerve because he gasped and dropped his head. “That’s it. Breed me. Show everyone who I belong to. Show them you’ll be a good appa someday,” he said, smoothing back Hongjoong’s sweaty hair on one side to better see his face. The face he loved so very much.

“Gonna make it take,” the producer ground out but it was almost lost in the way both of them moaned as he nearly bent Seonghwa in half. “Fuck, I can’t hold on.”

“Then don’t,” Seonghwa said. It felt impossible that he might be getting hard again after two successive orgasms but his body was certainly trying. Maybe it was the way Hongjoong dropped to his forearms and with one final push cried out. He liked to imagine he could feel him spilling inside, breeding him thoroughly and keeping it where it should be but he was so overstimulated that he couldn’t feel much besides a bone deep satisfaction. 

The only thing that was keeping him grounded was Hongjoong’s comforting weight on his chest as he gave abortive little thrusts. He could feel a faint trembling in his boyfriend’s shoulders, under his fingertips. “You did so well,” he praised, unable to do much but blink at the ceiling and breathe. “You did so well, my Hongjoongie.”

The producer shuddered, the endorphins probably overwhelming his nervous system, and then he started to pull away. His cock slipped free and with it a trickle of cum and lube followed. 

A powerful urge to keep the fantasy alive, just a little longer, came over him violently and he forced himself to clench down so no more fluids would escape. Hongjoong flopped next to him, breathing hard. “A pillow,” Seonghwa demanded, voice hoarse. His boyfriend must’ve still been orgasm-addled because he just blinked. “Yeobo, a pillow, now .”

Hongjoong handed him one, confused. Seonghwa took a deep breath and then lifted his hips. The ache from being fucked in that arched positon earlier came on full force and he was a bit winded when he settled back down. But this way…

“Why?” Joong managed to say, eyes half shut.

“Better chance this way.” And maybe in one of his deep dives, when he slept in Hongjoong’s bed alone while the producer was in another country or at the studio all night, he might’ve read about fertility. Maybe he’d read too many fanfics where this exact topic came up. Either way, his mind curled around the idea like a dragon wanting to nurture its hoard. He lolled his head to look at Hongjoong whose face briefly morphed from confusion and then to understanding. 

A hand came up and like it had several times since this all started, it rested on his stomach and rubbed in soothing circles. “I’ve heard this helps too,” the producer said, scooting closer so he could put his nose in Seonghwa’s hair. “Thank you, yeobo,” he whispered. “For understanding.”

“I’ll always support you and your ideas,” Seonghwa said earnestly. “Whatever they are. I’ll never judge.” He covered the comforting hand with his own, lacing their fingers. “Even if what we want isn’t for right now or like this, I still see the same vision as you.”

They stayed like that for a while until the disgusting feeling of dried body fluids and stale sweat in the air was too much. They would need to figure out how to get to the bathroom without bothering the kids - though mostly to avoid the inevitable teasing. That and the bed needed to be cleaned up. No matter how hot the fantasy he refused to sleep in a gross cum-stained love nest.

“What if it didn’t take?” Hongjoong asked quietly as Seonghwa started to get antsy. “What if you’re not…you know?”

“Guess we’ll have to look up some more wive’s tales and try again.”

✦

The door lock beeped as Seonghwa stood at the kitchen sink, filling up two bottles from the filtered pitcher in the fridge. Even though this wasn’t his own dorm, it might as well be with how intimately he knew the whole set up. He’d even helped sort everything on move-in day.

“Oh, hyung.”

He turned to see Jongho and Wooyoung coming in. They both had masks on that they promptly pulled off. In their hands were take-out bags from a place downtown. He’d be embarrassed that they’d fled but after so long as a group and with them knowing their ‘appa and eomma’ had a sex life, he found he didn’t care. He’d heard plenty when Wooyoung and San thought nobody was paying attention.

“Hey,” Seonghwa said, smiling. He was still loose limbed, especially after a second round and a hot shower. Hongjoong even kept extras of the singer’s specific skin care on hand for the nights he stayed over. God, he loved him.

“You look…happy,” Jongho said, squinting his eyes. Wooyoung punched the maknae’s arm.

“He got laid, you idiot,” he said, exasperated. 

“Young-ah,” Seonghwa scolded though he didn’t deny it. Again, it wasn’t a secret. “What did you guys get?”

“Bibimmyeon. It’s still too damn hot out. When is it going to actually be October?” Wooyoung complained, pushing past Seonghwa to set the bags on the counter. “We got extra, by the way,” he added. “In case you and grumpy old man were hungry after-”

“Thank you,” Seonghwa cut in, pulling Wooyoung into a side hug. “I appreciate it.”

“Is Hongjoong-hyung asleep?” Jongho asked, sipping on his drink loudly. He was perched on the other side of the kitchen island on a bar stool. His fingers fiddled with the bag and started to undo the lid on his food. It smelled divine and Seonghwa decided he might break his own rule of having no food in the bedroom, just this once.

“He’s reading some contract,” Seonghwa said, shrugging. He wasn’t, but it sounded plausible. They didn’t need to know he’d left their precious captain hyung with a link to the unofficial guide on omegaverse and a wild imagination. So maybe he was setting himself up for some future fun, so what?

“Gross. He gets off and then goes right back to work?” Jongho joked. 

“Is he being less of a jealous asshole now?” Wooyoung asked, splitting wooden chopsticks and using them to mix up his noodles. He sounded miffed but Seonghwa knew his kid better than that. It was a cover for how hurt and anxious he really was that maybe Hongjoong was actually mad. Thankfully, he could dispel that quickly…and with a little amusement.

“Oh, he’s not mad at you Young-ah. If anything, it’s good you pushed it. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to work through the thing that was upsetting him.” That was technically true. He turned to lean against the sink and sipped his bottle of water calmly.

“What was even bothering him?” Jongho asked from his seat, noodles midway to his mouth. Seonghwa felt a little pair of devil horns forming on his head. At least, he imagined they were. They probably looked just like that headband Hongjoong wore at the photoshoot, shiny with a little gleam at the sharp point. Time to teach the kids a little lesson about minding their own business.

“Baby fever.”

The reactions were as beautiful as he’d hoped. Wooyoung inhaled his noodles and started coughing, pounding on his chest and sending sauce everywhere. Jongho’s face froze as he processed and then he dropped his chopsticks, lip curling in disgust.

“I’m eating in my room,” the maknae declared, sliding off the chair and taking his food with him. 

“Don’t leave the trash in there or you’ll get bugs,” Seonghwa called after him, delighted. Jongho turned around and made a face, gagging. Wooyoung seemed to have regained the ability to both breathe and laugh, though his eyes were watering and almost bloodshot.

“Holy shit,” he said, leaning on the counter to keep steady. Seonghwa smirked and patted the younger’s shoulder. “Were you being serious?”

Seonghwa took the extra two containers of noodles and chopsticks in a bag, looping it over his arms so he could carry the water back with him. He spared Wooyoung a glance, biting his lip and letting his eyes go unfocused as if he were thinking far into the future.

“Guess we’ll find out in a few weeks, hm?”

Wooyoung’s scandalized laughter echoed down the hall as he returned to find Hongjoong scrolling endlessly. He looked up from his phone, eyes wide with wonder. He held up the phone which had various images and links on it from what was probably a Twitter feed. Seonghwa cocked an eyebrow as he set the food and drinks down on the desk.

“Hwa, am I an alpha? Fans keep saying that on here and I think I might’ve agreed with one at a fanmeet and I need to know right now if I agreed I would have a fucking knot or something. Jagi? Why are you laughing?”