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"It's a team meeting." Archie is saying. Her grip on Stede's wrist is ironclad. It feels as though she could crush his bones if he dared to move, like he could become as fragile as one of the china plates in his cabinets.
"It's nine o'clock at night." Stede points out. "We don't have team meetings at nine o'clock at night." They step through the doorway onto the deck and Stede feels something in his chest warm at the sight of his crew milling about, lighting lanterns, sharing bottles, and laughing.
He's surrounded by laughter now, something he never thought possible when he dreamed of running away and sailing the sea. The sound of it is like a balm on the ragged edges of his soul.
"Okay, so I lied. It's less of a team meeting and more of a...team building exercise." Stede’s brow furrows, his steps faltering as Archie propels him forward with ease.
“A team-building exercise? At this hour?” Archie flashes him a grin over her shoulder.
“You’re always saying you want us to feel like a family, right? Well, this is me helping. You’re welcome, Captain.” Stede is confused by the sudden sincerity in her voice, the warmth he hears beneath her teasing tone. She's still gripping him firmly, her thumb pressing against his pulse. He can feel the beat of his heart, fast and light. "We're playing a game!" She announces and there are answering whoops from the crew, a couple of cat calls. Stede can also hear a similar spiel being given to Izzy by Jim.
"...we're a crew, viejito, we're meant to do shit together. If you're a part of the crew then you're gonna play too."
"This is fucking stupid and you can't make me." Izzy's voice rings out clear over the din of the rest of the crew. Stede feels something like anticipation unfurl in his stomach at the sound.
"That's a funny way to say thank you for taking care of you, boss." Jim sounds entirely unperturbed by his refusal. Izzy scoffs and Stede's lips twitch up into a smile. He catches a glimpse of Lucius and Pete, tucked close together and sharing a bottle. His scribe waves a hand at him in greeting.
"I'm not doing this." Izzy says again and Jim huffs.
"Yeah, you are." Jim retorts. They sound confident, as though they've already won. Stede can hear Izzy's annoyed hiss, can imagine him glowering at his best friend. He looks away, back down at the ground.
He's not allowed to look at Izzy like this. He's a captain, Izzy is his first mate. They have responsibilities, things that they need to be doing. It's not fair to the rest of the crew to have their first mate and captain mooning after each other. And, Stede doesn't even know if Izzy wants that.
They’d had a moment. At Jackie's on the night Ed left, they'd had a moment. Stede had been in pain, but Izzy had been there, his touch soft and his words kind. Stede doesn't have much experience with this kind of thing, but for a second, for the barest of seconds, he had thought that maybe...
They lock eyes across the ship and Izzy's jaw is clenched so tightly that it looks painful. Stede swallows and tries not to think about how soft Izzy's hand had been on his knee that night. He can't do this. Not right now, not with his crew watching. He's the captain, he's supposed to be leading.
"Right, crew!" He claps his hands and everyone's attention turns to him. Archie steps back, leaving him standing alone on the deck. Izzy is a few feet away, looking sullen and grumpy and beautiful. "We're playing a game." He's speaking out loud, but Izzy glances up as though Stede has whispered directly in his ear. "Do we have your cooperation, Mr. Hands?"
"Fine." Izzy spits. He doesn't sound happy about it, but there's an undercurrent of something else, something almost anticipatory. Stede nods once, sharply. He can't look away from the line of Izzy's body.
"Excellent. Let's play."
"So, here's how it goes." Archie steps forward again and claps her hands. "It's called truth or dare." There's confused chattering from the crew and Archie grins, her teeth flashing in the light of the lanterns. "We used to play this all the time back home it's super fucking easy."
"What are the rules?" Frenchie asks, dropping down onto a crate and folding his legs beneath him. Archie is bouncing on the balls of her feet, her excitement infectious.
"The rules are simple. We spin this bottle..." She produces a bottle seemingly out of nowhere and places it down on the deck. "Whoever it points to gets asked 'truth or dare'. If you pick truth, the person who spun has to ask you a question and you have to answer it honestly. If you pick dare, you have to do whatever the person says, no questions asked." There's some muttering and a bit of confusion, but most everyone seems willing to go along with it.
"This sounds boring." John complains, taking a drink from the bottle he's holding. Archie makes a face at him and shakes her head.
"Oh, you have no idea how not-boring it can be." She's smiling and Stede smiles too. There's a lightness inside of him that hadn't been there before. This is going to be good for the crew, for all of them.
"Alright, let's play." He says and Archie beams at him.
"Yes! Okay, I'll start." She takes the bottle and gives it a spin. Everyone watches as it spins in a slow circle. Stede thinks that maybe this will be better than he imagined. The bottle lands on Wee John and the man leans forward eagerly.
"I dare you..." He begins and there's a flurry of giggles from the rest of the crew. "Isn't that how we play?"
"No!" Jim throws their head back, crossing their legs and pulling the bottle of grog to their lips. "We're s'possed to ask you a question, Wee John."
"Oh..." The man deflates. "Well go on then." There's some deliberation, and finally, Fang clears his throat.
"Why haven't you dressed up as Calypso again?" There are a couple of noises of agreement, endorsement of the question, and the entire crew's attention focuses on Wee John. Stede hadn't known the man could blush like that, his cheeks turning a bright, splotchy red. "I'm just saying, I never got to see her."
"Um..." Wee John stammers, shifting where he sits. He doesn't answer, instead, his gaze darts over to Frenchie. Stede is surprised to see the other man blush and look away. "It's not that important." There's a beat of silence, then Frenchie clears his throat pointedly. "Fecking fine." Wee John rolls his eyes. "Last time I got all done up the ship got invaded."
"So?" Archie prods, frowning. No one likes remembering that day, how their party had been ruined by Ned fucking Lowe. "It's not like you can't try again. He's dead."
"Yeah, we wouldn't let anything happen to you." Fang adds, grinning broadly. He and Pete are holding hands, fingers laced together. Stede's has never been prouder, looking at them closing ranks around their own.
"I..." Wee John's cheeks are still a bright pink, but his gaze slides back over to Frenchie. "I guess I can do it again sometime." The crew whoops and hollers and John spins the bottle. Stede doesn't pay attention to who it lands on, his attention is on Izzy, leaning against Frenchie. His first mate looks surly, but his gaze is locked on the spinning bottle. It lands on Jim.
"Why'd you stay?" Wee John asks. Jim looks startled. "Olu's left to be with Zheng..." Stede feels his stomach sink at the memory of the night Olu left. "I thought you'd go with 'im." Jim frowns, their gaze drifting off over the side of the ship.
"This is my home." They finally say, taking a long sip from the bottle. "I love Olu and I love that he did what he had to do, but Zheng's ship isn't home. Not like this is." The words hang heavy over the crew. Archie reaches out, grasping their hand tightly. "Plus, this is the only place I can still practice with Izzy." Jim's words seem to break the tension, everyone relaxing and smiling again.
"Yeah, and you fucking need it too." Izzy snorts, but there's no bite to his words. Stede wonders if he's imagining the pleased flush on his first mate's face.
"You're a good person, Jim." Roach says before Jim can reply to Izzy and there's a murmur of agreement from the crew.
"Fuck off." Jim spits, but they're smiling, just a little. They take the bottle and spin it.
The game carries on, the dares getting wilder, the questions getting dirtier. Stede learns a lot more about his crew than he had ever intended to know, but it feels good. They're laughing, sharing stories, and the atmosphere is warm and friendly.
Eventually, the bottle slows, spinning a little wobbly now after so many rounds. It creaks to a halt, the neck pointing unmistakably at Izzy. The crew collectively inhales. Izzy, to his credit, doesn’t flinch, though his jaw tightens.
“Oh, this’ll be good,” Lucius says, leaning forward with a wicked grin. “Alright, Dizzy. Truth or dare?” Izzy looks around the circle, his glare daring anyone to try anything funny.
“Truth,” he says flatly. Lucius hums thoughtfully, his finger tapping his chin. Deliberations begin as to what question the crew can ask the notorious, feared Israel Hands.
“What do we even ask him? He’s like, a vault when it comes to emotions and shit like that, isn't he?" Frenchie's observation is met with a round of nods.
"I do not know," Roach says thoughtfully, "Maybe we should just ask him how he feels about us. That seems very straightforward to me."
"I don't think I even want to know how he really feels." Wee John mutters. There are a few noises of commiseration. "What if this is how we find out he actually hates all of us?"
"I don't hate any of you." Izzy's voice rings through the quiet. There's a stunned silence, everyone turning to stare at him. Izzy looks uncomfortable. "I don't. Not really. Not even Spriggs." He doesn't look at Stede as he speaks. "I'm not...good at this shit, but I don't hate any of you."
"There goes our one question." Roach purses his lips. "Maybe we dare him?"
"To do what?" Archie puts her head on her hand, staring at Izzy curiously. She glances around the circle and her gaze lands on Stede. A smile begins to form, slow and predatory. "You up for a dare, boss?"
"Fine. Whatever." Izzy doesn't hesitate. His tone is flat, but there's something else there, an underlying sense of curiosity.
"I dare you," she says, drawing the word out and pointing a finger directly at Izzy. "To kiss whoever on this ship you want to kiss the most.” The circle erupts in hoots and laughter. Even Stede is laughing, and Jim shakes their head with a wry smirk. Izzy, however, goes very still.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Izzy growls, but his ears have gone a suspicious shade of pink. "Pick something else. Anything else."
"Nope." Archie pops the 'p' and shakes her head. She's grinning now, a Cheshire cat with the biggest canary in her sights. "This is what you're doing. And if you don't...we get to decide how to punish you." Her words have the effect of a bucket of cold water. The crew is still laughing and cheering, but the threat in her words is obvious. Izzy glares at her, but her grin doesn't falter.
"Fine." Izzy spits to everyone's surprise. The noise dies down instantly, replaced by a charged silence. All eyes are on the first mate, who doesn’t move for a long, uncomfortable moment. Izzy slowly straightens, his mouth a thin, determined line. He glances around the circle, then turns—not to the right, where Lucius sits, looking expectant—but to the left.
And kisses Stede.
It’s quick but decisive. A press of lips that’s softer than anyone expects, though Stede’s shocked gasp makes it impossible to miss. Izzy pulls back like it’s nothing, but the flush in his cheeks says otherwise.
The circle explodes in stunned shouts and laughter.
“Wow, I was not expecting that,” Frenchie says, fanning himself.
"I thought he was gonna kiss me..." Lucius bemoans and Fang rubs his shoulder sympathetically.
"Stede?" Archie is staring at Stede with an almost predatory smile. Stede can't think. He can't breathe. All he can feel is the ghost of Izzy's lips on his. He lifts his fingers to touch them and Izzy looks away.
"Um, yes?" He can't stop staring at his first mate. His mind is whirling. Was this just part of the game? Why had Izzy picked him of all people? Archie is looking far too amused. Stede doesn't understand why.
He can't stop looking at Izzy. His first mate looks tense, but not angry. There's something else, something Stede can't quite identify.
"The bottle..." Archie gestures to the grog in his hand and he passes it along with a strained smile.
The game continues, but Stede sits frozen, his mind racing. What was that supposed to mean? Was it a joke? Izzy hadn't laughed, had barely even smiled. Maybe it was supposed to be a prank? Stede can't make himself believe that, not with how soft and sweet the kiss had been.
Eventually it all comes to an end and Stede can't even remember what the last question was. Everyone is heading off to their beds and Stede stands there, still frozen, watching Izzy walk around the pallets making sure that each member of the crew has their blankets and pillows.
"I really thought..." Lucius is saying when Izzy bends to fix the blanket around Pete's shoulders. "I thought you'd choose me. Maybe."
"You want a kiss from me that bad, Spriggs?" Izzy has an amused look on his face now, one eyebrow cocked as he adjusts the blanket, making sure it's tucked in around Pete's body. He leans down, giving Lucius a soft kiss on the cheek. "Happy now?"
"I would have preferred the lips or...y'know, but I'll take what I can get." Lucius sighs. Izzy rolls his eyes and gives his cheek a pat.
"You'll live, Spriggs." Izzy is still smiling and he looks over at Stede. Their gazes lock and Stede inhales sharply. The look in his first mate's eyes is dark, intense, and full of fire. They say nothing, but Izzy jerks his chin to the quarterdeck and starts walking. Stede follows.
They're alone and Stede wants to reach out, to grab Izzy and ask him why. Why had he kissed him? Why was he being so kind to the crew? What was happening between them?
"So, you seem to have had fun tonight." Stede can't think of anything else to say. The silence is too much, the air thick with tension. Izzy shrugs, his arms crossed over his chest. "Might we make this a regular thing? Game night with the whole crew? I think it would be good for them. For us."
Izzy snorts softly, the sound low and dismissive, though there’s no real bite to it.
“Don’t push your luck, Bonnet. One night of your little kumbaya circle doesn’t mean I’m ready to host tea parties every week.” Stede chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "You should get some sleep." Izzy continues. "Should be dropping anchor outside Martinique by sunrise."
"You should too." Stede says softly. Izzy scoffs. "Are you sleeping well? After..." We nearly escaped the Republic with our lives? After Ed left us to fend for ourselves?
"I'm fine." Izzy doesn't look at him, his gaze focused on the dark horizon.
"What, you didn’t feel like cuddling Lucius after your little lip service?” Stede is poking at a bear, but he can't stop himself. His thoughts are in a whirl, the image of Izzy kissing him burned into the backs of his eyelids. He's been imagining what it might feel like to kiss his first mate for months, but he never expected that the first time would happen during a silly party game. Izzy’s face tightens, but he smirks, sharp and defensive.
“Jealous, are we?”
“Of Lucius?” It's Stede's turn to scoff. “Hardly. I just…" He bites down on his bottom lip, fighting hard to keep the usual snark to a minimum. He doesn't succeed. "Well, I suppose I’m curious about your methods, Izzy." The first mate's head whips towards him. "Kissing the crew to boost morale it's...very hands-on of you.”
“Don’t start, Bonnet.”
“Oh, but you started it,” Stede retorts, crossing his arms. “What was that, anyway? Some kind of performance? Kiss me as some grand gesture to win their approval? Or was it just for my benefit? A pity kiss for your sad, lonely captain?”
“Pity kiss?” He repeats, his voice low and dangerous. “You really think that’s what this is?” Stede spreads his arms wide as if to say 'what else could it be?'. Izzy's jaw works.
"Why else would you do it?" He can't stop himself. This is too much. The kiss was too much, but then for Izzy to not even have the courtesy to explain why he had done it? Stede can't stop talking. "I mean, I understand it was part of the game, you proved that by kissing Lucius of all people not thirty minutes later. But I..."
“You make me fucking insane, you know that?” Izzy takes a step forward, his hands clenched at his sides. Stede can hear his own heartbeat, thudding in his chest, in his ears. “You’re reckless and ridiculous, and half the time I can’t tell if you’re brave or just stupid. And yet…” He exhales sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. “And yet I can’t seem to stop wanting you.”
"What?" It's barely a breath.
"You don't even know, do you?" Izzy's words are soft, his eyes are soft, and there's a tenderness there that makes Stede's knees weak. “I kissed you because I wanted to, Bonnet. Because I’ve wanted to for…" He cuts himself off, eyes widening. "Longer than I care to admit.”
"Oh," Stede's mouth is dry, his palms are sweating.
"Oh," Izzy mocks. There's no heat in his voice, only a resignation that hurts Stede's heart. "I know as well as anyone that this isn't something I can have. And that's fine with me. I'm used to it, trust me. But I would never...fuck, I wouldn't have done that as some sort of joke." He's not looking at Stede now, his gaze focused on the deck beneath their feet. "You have to know that at least, Bonnet."
"I didn't..." He licks his lips and steps forward. His hand is shaking, but he reaches out and touches the side of Izzy's face. "I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?" Izzy's voice is soft, a little rough.
"For assuming, for being an ass." He brushes his thumb over the swell of Izzy's cheek and his first mate shudders. "Did you really mean all of that?" He looks into Izzy’s eyes, searching for any hint of deception, and finds none.
"Every word." The words are barely a whisper, but they resonate within him, echoing in his head. Stede takes a shaky step forward, his hand hovering near Izzy’s arm.
“Then… do it again.”
Izzy doesn’t hesitate this time. He grabs Stede by the collar and pulls him in, their mouths meeting in a kiss that’s nothing like the one before. This one is searing, unrestrained, and filled with everything they’ve been holding back.
When they finally break apart, both are breathing hard, their foreheads pressed together.
“Better?” Izzy asks, his voice low and teasing now. Stede smiles, a real, unguarded smile. He's so light he could float away on the gentle breeze.
"Much better," he agrees and kisses him again.
He thinks maybe they'll get to keep doing this. Maybe Izzy will let him hold him, touch him, kiss him.
Stede thinks that maybe, just maybe, he's getting something he wants.
And that's a feeling he could definitely get used to.