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The silence was suffocating.
His heartbeat was quiet (how many times before had he been dragged to his knees, told to know his place and open his pretty mouth?), but his breathing, deep and steady, was loud in his ears. He had long since been trained to stay perfectly still, that any movement he made would only be because he had been given permission—even still, apprehension clawed at his insides; the silence now broken only by the quiet creaking sound of his harness as he minutely shifted in place.
“Are you ready?”
Despite the blindfold, trust had Aventurine wanting to turn his head in the direction of his lover’s voice. Instinct, however, had him remain motionless; the only thing falling out of place being the rhythm of his heart, tripping over itself at the jarring reminder he was not alone after all.
“Please.” Aventurine scoffed, rolling his eyes behind the silk covering them. “I’ve been ready—what’s wrong, the sight of me all tied up for you make you cum too soon?”
Familiar footsteps scuffed across the floor towards him, putting his body at war between relaxing and further tension.
“I can assure you,” Ratio’s low voice sounded bemused, “that despite the… Seriousness, of the scene… Yes, seeing you all dolled up like this has me rather hard.”
“Of course~” His heartbeat fluttered again, smug tone edged with pride. Damn right Ratio was hard because of him, if he would just untie Aventurine then something could be done for his poor, neglected boner~
(Nevermind the fact that this whole thing had been his idea to begin with.)
"Of course." Ratio parroted back, amusement still lingering in his voice. "I would expect nothing else."
A hand (unexpected yet tender) brushed through his hair, and despite his initial startled twitch Aventurine leaned into the soft touch. No one but Ratio would touch him so gently, not while he was bound like this. He was safe, that hand whispered. He could trust the one that touch belonged to.
“Now—” still gentle, still kind, but now firm, the fingers in his hair gripped blond strands tight to tilt his head back (Aventurine would vehemently deny that he had bitten back a pleasured sound at that) “—will you answer me honestly?”
Aventurine was silent, and thankful that he was given the time to genuinely reflect.
Was he ready? Physically, yes. He was on his knees, blindfolded and at Ratio’s mercy… But, that was it, wasn’t it? He wasn’t at anyone’s mercy, least of all his lover’s. He wasn’t in a rundown shack, he wasn’t in a gaudy overpriced hotel room. He was in his own room, knelt upon a pillow that they had picked out together, safe and in the presence of the one being he truly trusted.
There would be nothing he didn't want.
If anything was shoved into his mouth, it would be because he allowed it. If at any point his binds became too tight, he need only ask and they would be loosened. Most importantly, however—the thing that had him relaxing into the hold in his hair, had him settling more comfortably into his harness—was the fact that he could say no.
He could stop this. One word and he would be off the floor; tense rope replaced by his lover's embrace, nudity covered by soft blankets or comfortable clothing. There would be no punishment, no voice hissing in his ear "You don't get to say 'no' to me!"—the only expectation placed upon his shoulders was for him to enjoy himself, nothing else.
So then. Was he ready?
"Yes."
His hair was released so that hand could stroke through it instead, Ratio's approving rumble of "Good boy" made Aventurine tingle in the best of ways.
"This is about you—for you," Ratio's low soothing tone combined with the way he continued to gently pet through Aventurine's hair almost made the blond want to weep (how long had it been since someone had genuinely treated him like something precious?) "and I will give you what you want..."
A pause, just long enough for Aventurine to narrow his eyes behind the blindfold as the hand in his hair stilled. He was sensing an incoming 'however'—
"However—"
—there it was!
"—I am not yet done myself. It is time now for your needs, not your wants, and I am honoured to provide them."
Oh.
Oh. That was. A shiver danced down his spine and his dick twitched with interest. Yes, by all means, lover dearest, treat him how he needed to be treated.
"Well—" if he were capable of feeling shame then the amusement in Ratio's voice might have made him blush "—it seems you like this course of action." A touch, literally feather light, teased along his length making him shiver again. "Or, at least this part of you does."
“I’ll admit,” Aventurine swallowed thickly as that soft, gentle touch began trailing over his hips, “that I’m curious about what you think I need.” He had a feeling (an impatient, excited feeling) their thoughts did not align.
"My my, are you doubting me?" Ratio almost sounded offended, if not for the coy smirk Aventurine could hear in his voice. He could vividly see his lover in his mind; eyes dark with lust, lips quirked into a knowing smirk as he wielded a feather tickler (what else could it be?) with skilled precision. Was his cock out? Hard and weeping, eager for action—or was it straining against fabric, throbbing, desperate to be free? Regardless, Aventurine's mouth began to water with desire. "As if I don't pride myself on my intelligence~"
Goosebumps flared across his skin as those feathers danced over his stomach, making him draw in a stuttered breath as he fought with himself not to fidget.
"Well," Aventurine once more mimicked his lover, "then get on with it. I'm yours."
"You are." A statement; a claim, bold and true, no room remained for doubts. "And if I pride myself on my intelligence, then what, pray tell, do you believe to be my favourite thing about my dear gem?"
It felt as if Ratio was trying to make a point, or at least lead him somewhere, but for all his own intelligence... Aventurine couldn't decipher his destination, causing his (intended to be sarcastic) answer of "My ass?" to come out as genuinely confused instead.
He flinched slightly as something unexpectedly touched his face, but then found himself leaning into the sensation tracing over his cheek like the hand of a lover.
The way Ratio had chuckled and teased "Mm, close~" made Aventurine want to feel embarrassed—but the hand now cupping his face had his mind going blissfully blank instead.
"I suppose you could be forgiven this time for insulting yourself—" Aventurine nearly sneezed as feathers gently booped against his nose "—not that I don't also thoroughly appreciate your fine ass."
Aventurine tried to be confused (his body, his looks, were always someone’s favourite thing about him), to fight the calm that had been settling over him as Ratio bestowed his attention upon him... But the hand on his cheek was comforting, and the thought of Ratio most admiring something other than his looks—it meant more to Aventurine than he would have assumed. Ratio had claimed he was insulting himself, but it was difficult to feel insulted when Ratio was making him feel so cherished.
"What, then?" he asked, voice soft with vulnerability threatening to leak through.
"What other than your brilliant mind?" Aventurine heard movement, the sound of shuffling, before he felt warmth radiating close by. Before hands cradled his face, thumbs rubbing reverently over his cheeks.
"Your wit; your scathing remarks, the cunning you hide behind those beautiful and wicked eyes of yours."
Ratio's voice was so close. Almost too close, the passionate murmur of his words doing more things to Aventurine than he felt capable of handling.
He had to be kneeling, for his voice to be so near, for Aventurine to so vividly feel the presence of another beside him. How many times had he knelt on filthy floors? How many times had he bowed to those who thought him worthless, aside from his holes? For too long he had hated himself, loathed the haggard image in his mirror for this 'weakness'.
And yet... Here Ratio was.
The floor wasn't filthy, the self-hatred barely lurked at the edges, he was safe and loved—but in this moment, this tender fragment of a lifetime, he was back in time. Weighed down by the sins of his present; battered and hopeless but struggling onward with the strength of his spite, his anger. Too proud to call himself broken, too vulnerable to deny himself the catharsis of tears.
"They were fools."
The thumbs rubbing tears away from his face left him, barely giving Aventurine time to chase the touch before his blindfold was removed. The lights were dim but he still found himself blinking to adjust from the darkness he was accustomed to—he didn't give himself long, the soft look on his lover's face commanding his attention.
"To not see your true worth..." again his face was gently held, his eyes fluttering closed as the most tender kiss of his life was placed against his lips. "The depths of their idiocy is rivalled only by the love I have for you, my gem."
Aventurine laughed wetly, feeling a cracked and jagged piece of himself slot into place. Maybe he still had pieces missing, maybe parts of him were cracked or uneven... But what did that matter, when he didn't need to be whole to be accepted? To be happy?
"You're such a sap~" he teased, uncaring of everything (the tears drying on his face; the weight of his harness, the heavy beat of his heart filled with so much love it ached—) as he leaned forward to rest their foreheads together. "But what does that make me, then? To love you just as fiercely?"
Hands settled on his hips, firm and claiming and sending shivers through his body. When his gaze locked with Ratio's his breath hitched, surprised by the heat and possessiveness in his golden eyes.
"As I said earlier, it makes you mine." He growled, statement of fact and promise all-in-one.
And how Aventurine melted into that promise, held it close to his chest as though those were the only words to ever matter. "And... what do you plan to do now with what's yours?'
Ratio chuckled (perhaps at Aventurine's breathlessness, perhaps at the eagerness he spoke with) and pressed a kiss to his cheek before coyly responding with "Well, what does Mine want? I did promise to give it to you, whatever it is, after all~"
.... What did he want?
Really, he had already gotten what he wanted out of this. They had wanted to re-write old trauma with new memories of trust and acceptance; he wasn’t ‘fixed’, but he felt smoothed out and himself in a way he hadn't felt in... too long. There was no need for this anymore, for this so carefully constructed scene—but, wouldn't it be a shame to waste already being bound and on his knees?~
Aventurine's lips quirked into a smirk as hunger glazed over his eyes. Ratio had done so much for him, taken his broken parts and helped delicately glue them together. There were still more memories to overwrite, however; touches to replace and voices to erase—they were still here, still in the near-perfect positions for more, and more was exactly what he wanted.
“I want…” he licked his lips, shivering with anticipation as his gaze eagerly trailed down his lovers body. “I want you to make me unable to form a single thought. I want you to ruin me, in ways they never could. Give me your cock, I’ve fucking earned it, haven’t I?”
Smug laughter over Ratio’s aroused growl jerked into a low moan as fingers tightly fisted in his hair.
“Open your mouth then, slut. You’ve got work to do.”
It would be his pleasure~