Archive of Our Own ^beta

Goro Akechi (murdercrow) wrote,
@ 2006-04-28 09:13:28

Current mood: Ecstatic

Current music: Sweet Tangerine ♪

Entry tags: Diary

Stories don’t start with ‘once upon a time.’

Stories start with your smile working the graveyard shift, lighting up an entire city in place of a hollow sun. You stay at the center of the solar system because you know everything will turn to ash if you get too close.

Infinite stars twinkle at my feet each night, but I still look for my sun. Even if it blinds me. Even if it burns me alive.

Stories don’t end with ‘happily ever after.’ Sometimes they end with a bang. Sometimes they end in smoke. Sometimes they just end.

Show in Sendai tonight. Super stoked to play with my band again. Don’t forget your cameras ;)

The energy on stage is intoxicating, and it bleeds backstage as the Phantoms make their way into the green room, fresh off an upbeat encore. Coated in sweat and pants so tight they look painted on, you’d think they’d be collapsing after what was essentially a two hour workout. Rather the band is bouncing off the walls with excess adrenaline, their eardrums still pounding from the screams of the crowd.

Sometimes it can take hours for the excitement to wear down, like when they played Diamond Ballroom for the first time, or after their set at the Tokyo Heart festival. But most nights Goro just wants to peel his pants off and go to sleep. They’re booked in a hotel room tonight, courtesy of Sae, which means he can take a hot bath before passing out in a luxurious bed dressed in a fluffy, complimentary robe.

“—didn’t expect them to be so hype! Maybe we should add more b-sides to the setlist—!”

Goro stands from the couch and stretches his arms overhead while Ryuji yaps on and on to Makoto. Futaba is in the midst of showing Ann the videos she captured from tonight’s show when an eruption of screams seeps through the walls. It’s not coming from the stage floor, no, but rather the back of the venue.

“Guess it’s about that time,” Makoto chuckles.

The screaming outside grows in intensity. This happens after every show. After the fans have had enough time to hit up the merch table and filter out of the venue, they wait in front of the Phantom’s tour bus in hopes of meeting the band. Usually they get lucky, unless it’s Goro they’re hoping to meet. He really can’t be assed to take pictures and sign autographs after putting on the show of a lifetime, still dressed in his tight pants. Especially not tonight, when his dream of soaking in a hot bath is soon to be realized.

“You guys have fun,” he brushes off his bandmates. “Iwai, mind escorting me to the car?”

Their bodyguard responds with a gruff affirmative. Goro’s about to slip his hood over his head when Akira stops him with a hand on his chest.

“You’re not going out there?”

“I have plans.”

“With who? The person delivering your room service?”

“Don’t be jealous, Akira. I’ll order you that burger you like. Double patty, toasted bun, caramelized onions, right?”

“You owe me fries too. Remember when you ate all of mine instead of ordering your own?”

“You offered to share.”

“Sharing is a 50/50 deal, Goro.”

“Wait, you’re not comin’ with us to meet fans?” Ryuji asks, appalled, as though Goro doesn’t do this after every show. “C’mon, man. We wouldn’t be anywhere without them!”

“We wouldn’t be anywhere without my beauty sleep.”

Ann looks unimpressed. “We all know you’ll be up until 2AM scrolling Lifejournal anyway.”

“I don’t scroll Lifejournal. I read. Books.”

“On your laptop?”

“Books are online now. Welcome to the 21st century, Ann.”

“If you don’t scroll Lifejournal,” Akira cuts in, hiding a smile behind his fingerless glove, “Then how do you like all my posts?”

“That’s not me.”

“I didn’t even say the username.”

“I don’t have an account.”

“That’s a shame. I really like the poetry on murdercrow’s page.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, jokerisacreep.”

Akira sends him a look. A pointed, smug, knowing look. Goro meets him head on with a defiant glare.

“Alright, I’m heading out if you guys are doing your mind telepathy thing,” Ryuji sighs as he stands up. “We’ve got two nights in that luxury hotel Sae booked us. You got plenty of time to catch up on beauty sleep.”

He disappears from the green room, until the crowd’s cheers pour through the halls when he yanks the back door open.

“Hell yeah, Sendai! You guys weren’t waiting too long, were ya—?”

The door slams shut in the distance. Goro grabs his sidekick and a bottle of water.

“I should be going too.”

“Maybe it’s not the best idea for Goro to sign autographs right now,” Futaba snickers as she types away on her sticker-decorated laptop. “Especially if he’s got his panties in a twist.”

“...What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Let’s just say…” Ann shifts from one pink combat boot to the next, “You don’t have the best reputation when it comes to meeting fans.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t get me wrong, they totally eat up your bitchiness. But…”

“It only takes one wrong move to get yourself into some serious hot water,” Makoto finishes for her, channeling her sister’s strict manager persona. “I’d rather not risk our fans being turned away in hordes because you couldn’t control your temper.”

“Oh, fuck off with all that. Have you ever considered it’s the fans who are crossing the line? No, I’m not going to kiss their cheek and let them grab my ass. It’s my right to refuse them.”

“Wait, why is no one asking to grab my ass?” asks Akira’s boney ass.

“How would you feel if a fan asked you to moan their name on camera?” Goro glares at the girls.

Makoto has the decency to look sheepish. “A polite no would suffice.”

“A polite no isn’t going to stop them from asking again. Just because Ryuji likes signing tits doesn’t mean I’m going to reduce myself to that.”

“I’m sure they’d be happy if you offered them a hug instead,” Makoto tries. Goro scowls in a way that translates to ‘no, I’m not going to give them a chance to grope me.’ “Or a simple picture and autograph.”

“It’s only a few bad apples who act that way,” Ann chides. “You can call Iwai over if you need a bodyguard.”

“Or me.”

Goro meets Akira’s smirk with an unimpressed stare. “You would attack one of our fans?”

“If I had to.”

“Drama queen.”

“Says the one who’s scared of his own fans.”

“I’m not scared—”

“Remember how excited you were to meet S.E.E.S. during their first tour?” Akira cuts him off. “You still refuse to let anyone touch your signed Tartarus record.”

“No shit. It’s worth more than your shitty apartment.”

“There’s hundreds of fifteen-year-old Goro Akechis out there waiting to meet their idol. All you have to do is smile and say hi, and they’ll be swooning for life!”

Goro grimaces. “I really don’t want to meet fifteen-year-old Goro Akechi.”

Futaba snorts. “Akira would.”

“Whatever. Let's get this over with.” Goro slips his hood over his head to protect himself from the nighttime chill. “Honestly, you guys are making this a much bigger deal than it is.”

The back of the venue is full of bright lights and screaming fans, separated from the band by a simple barricade. Goro rolls his eyes when he spots Ryuji signing some girl’s cleavage.

“Kyaaa, Akechi-kun~!”

Amidst the flash of digital cameras, Goro’s gaze lands on Akira. He works the crowd so easily, even after performing for hours on end. His face is lit up as he smiles for a picture with a fan, his eyes flitting to the side to land on Goro.

Goro looks away. Whatever. If he doesn’t mind ruining a fan’s picture by not looking at the camera, that’s on him.

Less gracefully, Goro walks up to the first batch of fans he sees and starts signing the posters held out for him.

“You guys enjoy the show tonight?”

“Kyaaa, it was amazing!”

“You’re so sexy, Goro-kun!”

“Oh please, you flatter me.”

“Sing something for us, Gorooo~!”

“I think it’s best I save my voice tonight. But if you follow our MyPersona account, you’ll get a fix of live vocals soon.”

“Kyaaa!”

“Can I get a picture, Akechi-kun?”

“Of course.”

He works his way down the barricade, eventually crossing paths with Akira who grabs him by the elbow and pulls him close.

“Now was that so hard?” he whispers in Goro’s ear, Goro scoffing as he rears back. Their faces are close, but in their defense, they have to be in order to be heard over the fans’ commotion.

“I’m not a wild animal, Akira. I know how to talk to people.”

“Clearly. You’re a natural.”

He pats the side of Goro’s face as he continues on his way, and Goro gets right back to signing autographs. Akira can tease him all he wants, but Goro won’t let it get to him. He’ll be out here all night if he has to.

It goes surprisingly well, and Goro ends the night in his lavish hotel bathrobe, content. It was dumb to delude himself into thinking their fans were all perverted degenerates. There were only a few requests tonight, but it was nothing strange. A video recording of Goro saying hi to a fan’s friend, writing a lyric in his handwriting for a fan’s future tattoo, holding up an innocent sign for a photo.

Goro’s satisfied, both with the show and what occurred afterwards. He doesn’t even get pissy when Akira laughs at his clay face mask.

“Skin care is important, Akira,” he scolds the guitarist going to town on his room service burger. “Not that you’d know anything about that.”

Akira doesn’t even have the courtesy to have his meal at the coffee table, eating in his bed instead. What a rockstar. Goro steals a fry from his plate and quickly pops it into his mouth.

“Are room service fries good for the skin too?” Akira smirks.

“Yes. They’re relieving stress as we speak.”

“I thought you weren’t going to have any of mine.”

“Shut up. I deserve it.”

“Yeah.” The smile Akira wears can only be described as stupid. “You do.”

Goro Akechi (murdercrow) wrote,
@ 2006-04-30 11:31:04

Current mood: Wistful

Current music: Fully Alive ♪

Entry tags: Diary

I’m tired of IV drips of you.

Every day spent intertwined is addicting. In my dreams I see your silhouette dancing against a full moon, and despite how lanky and jagged your motions are, I yearn for it. The things we get up to are unseen like dust on top of clouds. Time is never a waste when it’s spent with you. But the summer marches on like a parade, and soon the winter will arrive like a pageant. I fear tour coming to an end, I dread going back to being spoonfed your presence. How can I ask you to visit more whenIwantyoutoneverleave? I want nothing but breath between us. I want the whole thing.

joka ≽^⎚˕⎚^≼ (jokerisacreep) wrote,
@ 2006-04-30 2:11:58

Current mood: In Love

Current music: Hollaback Girl ♪

anyone who says there’s nothing to do in sendai is a damn liar. goro dragged me around the city for two days straight XD
thx to everyone who told us to visit the cat island nearby.it was HEAVEN ^_^ makes me think i should get mona a new bff soon >:3

After two days of exploring everything Sendai has to offer (and Goro means everything), he drags himself back to the tour bus for another long, long day of driving. About 12 hours worth. Which is why Goro is only half paying attention when he’s suddenly bombarded by a reporter.

“—your relationship with Akira Kurusu?”

Goro blinks. It takes a second to realize he’s being spoken to at all. “Huh?”

“Are the rumors true?”

“Rumors..? About… Akira?”

“And yourself.”

It doesn’t help that the reporter is filming with his flash on. Then again, it is pitch black at 5AM, so it is somewhat necessary.

Wait, why is Goro making excuses for this guy?

“Whatever he did, I’m sure he deeply regrets it and feels like an absolute dumbass. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to be on my way. A certain dumbass kept me awake all night.”

“All night?”

Goro waves off the paparazzi before continuing on his way. Not once did he and Akira encounter any photographers during their mini-vacation, and he would’ve preferred to keep it that way.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Futaba teases when Goro marches onto the bus. Goro isn’t having it though, directing his fury toward an oblivious Akira typing a message on his phone.

“What did you do?”

Akira’s brows pinch, but he doesn’t look up. Who the hell is he texting? Sojiro? Goro doubts the Leblanc owner owns a cell phone at all, let alone one that has an instant messaging feature. “Like, today? Um, first I brushed my teeth—”

“No, dumbass. Surely you know why I’m being hounded with questions about you like I’m your fucking lawyer.”

Ann snorts. “Goro, you haven’t seen?”

“Seen what? Did he leak something? Music? His dick?”

Akira finally puts his phone away. “If my dick leaked you would’ve heard about it by now, sweetheart.”

“Nothing was leaked,” Makoto clarifies. “But…there was a picture.”

“Even you know about this?”

“It’s everywhere! It would be hard not to.”

“Would anyone care to enlighten me?”

“I’ll pull it up.” Futaba flips her laptop around, her screen displaying a picture of Goro from two nights ago. There’s a fan beside him who has since been cropped out after being reposted hundreds of times. Goro remembers this. He remembers the fan asking him to hold up a sign for a picture, and he remembers briefly reading it to ensure it didn’t say anything incriminating. ‘JokerCrow is real’ says the sign Goro holds up with a smile. Goro doesn’t understand how this caused such a stir.

“Akira and I… are real?”

The bus is overcome with silence. Only Goro himself is willing to break it.

“Does anyone want to explain why something this frivolous has managed to go viral?”

“It’s, uh…” Ann trails off.

“It’s your ship name,” Ryuji finishes in her stead. Unfortunately this doesn’t clear up anything for Goro.

“Ship… name..?”

“Makoto and I have one too!” Ann chimes. “MakoAnn. But ours is more of a platonic ship.”

“Are you saying Akira and I aren’t platonic?”

“Wait, you’ve really never heard of JokerCrow?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying, yes.”

“It’s your ship!”

“What is a ship?!”

The bus once again grows silent. It’s up to Makoto to be the adult here and explain.

“Ship is short for relationship. It’s essentially the fans’ theory—or fantasy—of you and Akira being… together.”

“Together?”

“Together together,” Ann clarifies.

“Together together?!”

Futaba doesn’t look up from her laptop. “They want you to bone.”

“What?!”

“I’m sick of seeing it everywhere, man!” Ryuji grovels. “Every time I search reviews for our shows I’m forced to see clips of you two fucking on stage! I already see enough of that from behind my kit.”

“We’re eyefucking, Ryuji,” Akira corrects. “There’s a difference.”

Goro turns to his best friend with a speed that can only mean murder. “You know about this?!”

“JokerCrow? Yeah, it’s pretty popular. Did you know you stare at my lips during interviews?”

“I do not!”

“How have you never heard of it, dude?” Ryuji asks. “You’re like, always scrolling LifeJournal.”

“I don’t even have an account!”

“Our entire tag is flooded with slashfic of you guys. It’s ridiculous.”

“Slashfic..?”

“Yeah, my characterization is always super off!” Ryuji bemoans. “They make me sound like a total bimbo.”

“What the hell is slashfic?”

Makoto clears her throat. “Slash fanfiction. It’s stories people write about you and Akira.”

“Joker slash Crow. Hence the slash,” Futaba adds.

“Stories people write about… our ship?”

“Now you’re getting it!” Ann beams.

“Oh my god, our fans are actually delusional.” Goro buries his face in his hands. “You haven’t read any of this shit, have you, Akira?”

“Only the really popular ones.”

Ryuji perks up at this. “Ooh, have you read the one where you’re a thief and detective and you fight monsters in a parallel world?!”

“Of course I’ve read it. I cried for a week after Goro died the second time.”

“Died?!”

“Spoilers!” Ann cries.

Goro just stares at his friends in shock. To think his very own bandmates would indulge in this filth… They wouldn’t know good literature if their throats were slit with it.

“Don’t worry, dude,” Ryuji startles him with a friendly clap on the shoulder. “I’ll hook you up with the best ones.”

Goro Akechi (murdercrow) wrote,
@ 2006-05-01 10:51:22

Current mood: Exasperated

Current music: U + Ur Hand ♪

Entry tags: Diary

I never asked to be Hollywood’s poster boy.

I’m forced to shield myself from the world’s eyes, and I’m taking you with me. Every touch, every whisper, locked behind a chain and key. You let judgement fall right off your back, but I carry it around on my shoulders. I love to hate attention. I hate to love attention.

All things are subjective, I’ve learned. But I didn’t expect the way we look at each other to be left up to interpretation.

Your presence is what keeps me going. A shoulder to lean on, a chest to cry on, a soul I can drag down to my level. Love is simple once you break down the variants. The love for a best friend, the love for a perfect melody. Obsession, infatuation, truefuckinglove. You’ll know it once you feel it.

Their show in Sapporo goes smoothly. Scratch that—it goes spectacularly. It was just as thrilling as any other show, a feeling Goro will never tire from. Being onstage with his bandmates, losing himself in the music… It’s exactly where Goro belongs.

Still, despite playing a perfect show for a wild audience, when the time comes for the fans to pile up outside the venue, Goro makes a quick escape to the bus instead.

“If I don’t rest my voice, there’ll be no show tomorrow!” he yells back at his band. Once he’s free from scrutiny and the screams of fans have been muffled behind black-tinted windows, he lets himself crash on the couch.

Goro briefly let it slip his mind, this JokerCrow nonsense, until it came up in their preshow interview backstage.

‘Is there any validity to these rumors?’ the interviewer questioned.

“Of course not,” Goro told her. “We’re just friends, and I find it appalling that people would disregard that.”

“He only makes out with me when he’s drunk,” Akira joked, met by the full force of Goro stomping on his toe. Why would he fuel the flames? How much flame is there to fuel? Clearly a lot if it’s being brought up by the reputable journalists at SmashFuse.com.

Present-Goro opens his laptop, determined to relax and get this ship nonsense off his mind. It’s disrespectful, frankly, to speculate on his and Akira’s feelings for each other. To view their friendship as a farce. They don’t even do anything couple-y. They don’t kiss or go on dates. What’s so romantic about your best friend taking you roller skating for the first time and telling the DJ you just got out of jail (not true, Goro just got a ticket for running a red light), all to embarrass you and make you fall on your ass? To be fair, Goro didn’t fall on his ass—Akira was there to catch him. But there was still nothing romantic about it at all.

Goro feels a heavy weight leave his body once he opens Lifejournal, scrolling through the poetry on his homepage and nodding solemnly in agreement. ‘Is the heart on my sleeve a decoy, or has it been broken beyond recognition?’ writes hypnotosis. Goro couldn’t relate more.

The only person he follows who couldn’t be considered a wise scholar is Akira. His most recent post about beating Ryuji at the Big Bang Burger challenge makes him roll his eyes. Not included in the post is the fact that the challenge occurred at 7AM and was used to replace their breakfast.

Goro’s mouse hovers over Akira’s username before he ultimately decides to click on his profile. He’s curious if he’s addressed these so-called “rumors” yet. Goro thought he put the gossip to rest with his poem about privacy and the importance of friendship, but apparently his statement wasn’t clear enough for the vultures with cameras they encountered today.

Akira only has a few posts from this week, all about the things he did that day or how much he misses his cat. Goro’s not surprised—Akira tends to save his most profound thoughts for lyrics rather than websites. But what does surprise Goro is the list of communities at the bottom of Akira’s profile.

While Goro has joined a few communities dedicated to poetry and Featherman, Akira has a long list of those he’s joined. The internet runs on cats!, Did somebody say coffee?, baristas international, The Jazz Club, EVERYDAY is Caturday, i ♡ vampires. But what really catches Goro’s eye is the amount of communities related to their band. The (un)Official Phantoms LifeJournal Community, Ryuji’s Rebels, like phantoms forever ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺, the phantoms – sheet music, and some named after lyrics and quotes. There’s one that makes Goro come to a pause. ˖⁺‧₊ JokerCrow ♡ .ᐟ ~ I’d like to frame you on my wall, just to know where you are at all times ₊‧⁺˖

That quote is taken directly from Goro’s Lifejournal. Not to mention their ship name in the title…

Why is Akira a member of this community? Maybe it’s platonic, like Makoto and Ann’s ship, or maybe Akira misclicked and joined accidentally. The only way to learn more is by clicking the link. For research.

He’s immediately bombarded with gifsets of him and Akira. The first post is from an album signing they did last year—Goro recognizes their outfits, his fingerless gloves and hoodie he insisted on wearing despite it being summer in Tokyo, as opposed to Akira’s tank top that makes him look like he just rolled out of bed. Goro didn’t even know he was being recorded.

He watches as their onscreen selves laugh in an infinite loop. He watches as Akira leans into his personal space so they can sign a record at the same time. He watches himself lift his Big Bang Burger soda so Akira can drink from the straw—because he was complaining all afternoon about how thirsty he was, and Goro is a saint. He watches himself pet Akira’s hair after a fan gave him a black cat ear headband to wear on his head. All things that can be considered platonic. All things that were platonic. Maybe this community isn’t so nefarious after all—

OMG its like an indirect kiss! *_*

the cat ears stay on during sex >:3

Goro stands corrected. Their fans are absolute heathens.

The next post is even more appalling. A single photograph, one Goro had no idea was taken. It’s from the night Goro braved the wilderness and met fans behind the venue, only to be bamboozled by a sign claiming he’s in a gay relationship with his best friend. But apparently there’s another moment from that night taking the web by storm. Akira with his hand on Goro’s waist, leaning in close to whisper something in Goro’s ear. Goro remembers this. He remembers rolling his eyes just as the picture depicts. What he doesn’t remember is Akira touching his waist like that.

…Has Goro really grown so used to these casual touches that he doesn’t notice them anymore?

The picture is admittedly intimate, Akira’s soft smile and Goro’s retaliating glare. But their friendship is intimate. Goro’s never been one to deny that. He and Akira have something Goro doesn’t have with anyone else—not even his bandmates. That’s because Akira and Goro aren’t just friends. They’re best friends.

its rare for goro to meet fans after shows rite?? i wonder y tonight was different o_O

@gorosaysrawr kira made him a deal ‘go meet fans or you wont get any dick tonite’ we all kno where crows priorities lie (¬‿¬)

>kechi rolling his eyes

UGHH kira get off meh >_< ur boner is touching my leg

hehe, he gets enough of that backstage ;)

“I don’t talk like that.”

Goro continues scrolling despite his better judgment. The next post is a video compilation titled jokercrow best stagegay moments, which Goro hesitantly clicks. He’s curious to know what “stagegay” refers to, as well as what their best moments of it are. Pressing play doesn’t do much to answer his questions, however. It’s just clips of the Phantoms onstage, with the camera focused on Akira and Goro. There’s clips of them getting close in the midst of a song, Akira giving Goro a big smooch on the cheek (they conveniently cut out Goro wiping the slobber off his face afterward). There’s a clip of Akira telling Goro his ass looks great during a break between songs—which is a simple fact. There’s a clip of Akira exaggeratingly checking Goro out as he walks by, followed by a clip where essentially nothing happens. They’re just… playing on stage. At their respective mic stands.

Oh. The clip ends with a picture of the band earlier that night, showing Akira and Goro swapped shirts sometime before going on stage.

They just showered! Separately! And accidentally got their clothes mixed up! What is the implication here? That they had fully nude, clothes-strewn-across-the-room sex before playing an entire set? Do they think they’re fucking stupid?

The compilation continues to play one risque moment after the next. Goro ripping away Akira’s guitar pick so he can strum the strings himself, Akira pretending to moan like he’s getting jerked off. Akira on his knees at Goro’s feet, shredding his guitar while Goro leans down to cup his face. This one’s not that suggestive. A bit sentimental, sure, but nothing like the last one.

The clip continues to play, with Goro sinking down to straddle Akira’s thighs, looping his arms around his neck and licking the side of his face—

Okay! Goro must’ve had a bit too much to drink that night!

He still doesn’t understand the purpose of this video. They’re performers! Performing! They’re simply having fun onstage and getting lost in the music, just like the fans in the crowd. Do people not usually… lick their friends’ faces when they hear a good song?

…

Goro was making a statement with that move, clearly. Obviously. It was done for shock value to scare off old pearl-clutching fucks from their audience. This isn’t a safe space for conformists stuck in the past. This is new. This is unconventional. Goro licked Akira’s face for the sake of art.

Sure, he doesn’t act this way with his other bandmates, but that’s because Ryuji is stuck behind his drumkit, and getting that close to Ann or Makoto would feel violating. But that’s beside the point. If Akira and Goro were in a secret sexual gay relationship, why would they behave like this onstage? Why would they make it so obvious? Not that there’s anything to be obvious about. Other than pure platonic friendship.

erm, has anyone else noticed that kira always has a boner on stage?? like, ALWAYS? he must get rly excited playing with kechi >////<

Goro zooms in on the pictures provided as “proof.” No, it’s just the lighting. Stage effects can cause weird shadows sometimes. Besides, Akira’s guitar is covering his “boner” in most of these pictures. Even when there isn’t an instrument in the way, it’s clearly just his pants bunched up.

his exhibition kink is sooo obvious XD

whoro akechi strikes again

“I’m not a whore.”

“Who’s not a whore?”

Goro startles when Akira’s voice rings into the bus, slamming his laptop shut before meeting the confused gaze of his bandmate.

“Me,” he blurts. “I’m not a whore.”

“I beg to differ. I’ve seen those tight pants you wear. Your—”

“—My ass looks great in them,” they say in unison. “I know, you’ve told me.”

“Looks like I’m doing my job then.” Akira grins fondly at Goro on the couch before he suddenly remembers something. “Oh yeah, a fan gave me this to pass onto you.”

Akira reveals what he was holding behind his back: a single red rose clipped of its thorns, a small tag marked with ‘goro ♡’ tied around the stem.

Goro snorts. “I bet they were hoping you’d give it to me on one knee.”

“Do you want me to?”

“Of course not. Just find something that can be used as a vase.”

Akira scours their small bus kitchen (aka a mini fridge and a microwave), but unfortunately they don’t have much that can qualify as ‘dishes.’ He eventually finds an empty Mad Bull can and fills it with water before placing the rose inside.

“For you, my honey-eyed angel.”

“Beautiful.” Goro sets the temporary vase on the table next to his laptop.

“So, what’re you up to back here?” Akira asks as he plops down on the couch, one arm thrown across the back. “Clearly not catching up on beauty sleep.”

“I was about to before you showed up.”

“Honey, you haven’t even showered yet. Not that I’m complaining.”

“I was reading.”

“Lifejournal?”

“A novel. The mystery I picked up from the bookstore in Sendai, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember you bending over to search the bottom shelf.”

Goro rolls his eyes as he stands. “I’m going to shower.”

“Want company?”

“Not particularly.”

“Want me to grab some clothes for you?”

“I have my own.”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

That almost brings Goro to a pause. He doesn’t wear Akira’s clothes that often, does he? No, it was only that one time. Which was a complete accident. On both their parts.

Right?

Goro Akechi (murdercrow) wrote,
@ 2006-05-02 07:01:46

Current mood: Half a heart

Current music: Oh Comely ♪

Entry tags: Diary

Sometimes I lose myself when I’m around you.

You say I’m stubborn to a fault, but I can’t be faulted for admitting it. In a world of fight or flight my only instinct is to be close to you. Even in cramped spaces my pillow was made for two. It might starve and die without a second head on its latter end. I’m one more lonely night from keeping you chained to a leash and I’m one more empty coffee mug from stitching our sides together so you can’t leave. As long as we can rest our heads on the same pillow.

I took an evening stroll through the cemetery of my mistakes. I saw myself in a different light—something I might call theatrics if I was willing to delude myself. How could I be putting on a show when I forget we’re being watched? At this rate it’ll slip my mind to breathe when I’m with you.

It’s not something that can be solved by an intervention. I won’t stop until we trip and fall off the pedestal we were put on, or it cracks in half beneath our feet. I hope we can be reincarnated as one person. I hope our bodies mold together in the womb of some unsuspecting housewife so I can finally know what it’s like to feel your heart beating inside me. Your skin is so warm when I run my hands over it. If I can’t feel it wrapped around me while I sleep, I’ll wear it like a winter coat.

joka ≽^⎚˕⎚^≼ (jokerisacreep) wrote,
@ 2006-05-03 08:31:55

Current mood: sneaky

Current music: SexyBack ♪

dont tell goro but i stole his eyeliner >:3

the liquid stuff is wayyy better than the pencil but he’ll get all “i told u so” if i admit that lol
dont worry, ill put it back with his makeup once im dun with it. he’ll look beyutiful for all of u in hakodate. he always does (=^ェ^=)

They play an acoustic set at a radio station before their show tonight, and other than a brief stint where Goro couldn’t find his eyeliner, it goes well. It’s not like Goro doesn’t trust himself to not get up and start grinding on Akira, but it was nice to be sitting down to have an extra barrier. Acoustic guitars don’t really make the best music for grinding anyway.

It was… interesting to see himself from the fans’ perspective. Goro’s never taken into consideration if his actions were friendly or not. He was just doing what felt right. What felt good. Part of it was to get a rise out of Akira, sure. To catch him off guard and make him miss a note before regaining his composure like nothing happened. And Akira does the same to him, the bastard. Groping him just to make him shriek into the microphone. It’s a game. It’s not sexual. It’s not romantic. It’s not gay, as the fans choose to call it.

Goro’s never contemplated being gay, considering he’s never felt that way towards anyone before. And no, experimenting with fingering himself does not automatically qualify him as gay. He’s been a bit too preoccupied with his band and his best friend to fall in love. The thought of dating someone, opening up to someone who isn’t Akira… It doesn’t feel right. And the thought of Akira dating someone feels so wrong it causes the lyrics to leave Goro’s throat choked and grainy.

Goro rids the thought from his mind as he focuses on the music, Akira’s backing vocals blending with his own voice. They’re soulmates, in the most platonic definition of the word. Any opinion their fans or critics have on their relationship is irrelevant.

Apparently some of their fans’ opinions are relevant, Goro realizes once he's on stage that night. He tries to stay away from Akira’s side of the stage, dancing with the girls and even bringing Ryuji into the mix, holding up his microphone so the drummer can finish the lyrics with an off-key screech. Most importantly, Goro tries to withhold his slutty tendencies, but he’s a performer! He has to perform! If he arches his back and shakes his ass a little, it’s not for Akira. If he crawls across the stage on all fours and reaches a hand out toward the audience, it’s not for fans on Lifejournal to blog about how he clearly takes it up the ass. When he lifts his shirt just enough to show off his hips, it’s all for the sake of putting on a damn good show.

Unfortunately for him, Akira is also a performer, and Goro would have to be a fool if he expected him to stay on his side of the stage. He trots up to Goro in the midst of You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison, thrusting his hips and guitar into Goro’s personal space. And Goro doesn’t think when he plays along. He’s not worried about optics or rumors when he curls their foreheads together. He’s lost in the immersion, the music, the adrenaline. His fingers tangle in the back of Akira’s hair, and he pulls, yanking Akira’s head back and drawing a loud moan out of him. Loud enough Goro might worry about the mic picking it up if he remembered the audience was there at all. They’re in their own bubble now, the line between what’s performance and what isn’t steadily becoming blurred. Akira’s lips hang open as he meets Goro’s eyes again, and Goro desperately wants to fill the space with his tongue.

He wants to kiss Akira.

Fuck.

He’s letting the excitement of performing get to his head—that’s all it is. Goro squeezes his eyes shut and lets out his frustration into the end of the song, and he doesn’t open his eyes again until well after the music stops playing. Akira is gone, standing by the wings of the stage while he trades guitars with one of their technicians. It’s merely for aesthetics—‘to match the second half of the show,’ Akira always says. And just for a second, while Akira is momentarily guitarless, Goro sees it.

erm, has anyone else noticed that kira always has a boner on stage?? like, ALWAYS?

Goro shakes his head. No, that’s not what that is. Akira doesn’t have a boner. He’s just seeing things after being in the spotlight for so long. Why the hell would Akira even have a boner?!

Goro saw nothing. And he definitely doesn’t spend the rest of the show trying to peek around Akira’s guitar to confirm he saw nothing.

So much to say, Goro doesn’t feel up to meeting fans that night.

Goro can’t sleep.

It’s not the occasional bump of the bus that has him tossing and turning in his bunk, but rather it’s his racing thoughts that prevent him from drifting into slumber. The echo of Akira’s moan ringing in his ears, the feeling of Akira’s damp hair still tingling on his fingertips. Goro had a plan that night: to keep his distance to prove that he can. But there’s something about Akira that Goro can’t stay away from. Like he has his own damn gravitational pull.

Their friendship is just that strong.

Goro can’t sleep like this, he eventually decides, opening his laptop to see what the other insomniacs are up to. The brightness of his screen is blinding and most certainly visible through the bunk’s curtain. It’s a good thing everyone is asleep right now.

There’s not much new activity on his Lifejournal feed, at least not since he last checked approximately four hours ago. ‘I watch their shadows flitter across a pitch black sky, I watch their wings flap to avoid saggy power lines,’ writes xsweetreleaseofdeathx, ‘I’ll sleep when the bats sleep.’

Goro hits the like button before continuing to scroll. epidemicofsorts writes about loneliness, wiltedvampire writes about their recent nightmares, Yusuke Kitagawa posts an abstract painting of reds and blacks titled Desire. Sweethigh writes about gazing at their lover in a field of daisies, and Goro shakes his head. No, he can’t relate to this. Unfollow.

He soon reaches the end of his homepage, greeted by Akira’s post from last night about stealing his eyeliner. Goro didn’t leave a like on that post. He didn’t find any amusement in the situation.

He sighs as he exits out of the window. He supposes he’ll just have to wait out his restlessness with a book instead—

Goro comes to a pause upon seeing what’s on his screen. Apparently he never exited out of the window he was pursuing last night—the ˖⁺‧₊ JokerCrow ♡ .ᐟ ~ I’d like to frame you on my wall, just to know where you are at all times ₊‧⁺˖ community. The comment about Akira always having a boner on stage glares right at him.

Preposterous hearsay. Goro should exit out of the page and never look back. He knows he should.

Yet something possesses him to hit the refresh button, swallowing heavily as new posts load onto the page. Perhaps these conspiracy theorists had an epiphany overnight and realized they’re seeing things that aren’t there.

☣︎♡𝔅𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔐𝔢♡☣︎ ︎ (littlehomunculus) wrote,
@ 2006-05-02 10:23:08

holy shit. theyre doing foreplay on stage. ITS CLEARLY WRITTEN OUT IN FRONT OF US! *_* gootube.com/watch?v=qvlPuXqaUtQ

Attached is a video from tonight’s performance, specifically the clip of Goro pulling Akira’s hair hard enough to make him moan. Surely it’s not as shocking as Goro’s memory envisions it.

…

…Goro instantly regrets hitting play.

Not only does the mic pick up Akira’s moan, but so does the camera capturing this moment to live on the web forever. It’s a good thing Goro is wearing headphones. He might have actually died from embarrassment if his bandmates caught him watching this in the middle of the night.

He hits replay on the video without thinking. The Goro on camera is so much closer to Akira than present-Goro remembers. Sure, the brief thought of kissing Akira crossed his mind, but he didn’t realize he was so close to actually doing it.

Goro closes the video once he’s replayed it enough times to burn Akira’s moan to memory. Alas, he isn’t strong enough to exit the page entirely.

𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝒶 𝓈𝓊𝓃𝓈𝑒𝓉 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓋𝑒𝒾𝓃𝓈 (vintagemisery) wrote,
@ 2006-05-02 10:15:39

DISCUSSION

its been two shows without goro going outside to meet fans afterwards. while this isnt a rare occurrence, it makes it even more strange tht he decided to meet fans in sendai. does anyone have any theories about why he went out that nite ??? o.O

@infatuatedxmind had the right idea. kira told him no sex unless he meets fans XD think abt it. they were staying in a hotel after that show…

w8 explain the hotel part (@_@)

staying in hotel = sex night. cant have sex in bus (unless they stay quiet, but we know how difficult that is for them XD). joker cant make an ultimatum on bus nights bc no sex will happen NEway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oh em gee. i think we cracked the case

There’s truly no getting through to these people. Have none of them considered Goro was simply annoyed at his bandmates implying he has a bad reputation with fans and had to prove them wrong? Shouldn’t that be obvious?

The longer he scrolls, the more difficult it’ll be to fall asleep. Goro knows this. Yet when he comes across a video titled JokerCrow BEST Moments, he lets his mouse hover over the play button. Akira and Goro have been friends longer than low rise jeans have been in style. He wouldn’t mind revisiting some of the best moments they’ve shared over the years.

lets start with interviews, the text on screen announces. Goro mentally scolds the uploader for their abhorrent grammar.

‘I have one more question for you, Kurusu-san,’ a reporter says. She’s only interviewing Akira, having run into him at what appears to be a festival. ‘If you could bring one thing to a deserted island, what would it be?’

‘Goro Akechi.’

‘To keep you company?’

‘Sure. And with a little bit of time, we could have that island fully populated.’

Akira shoots a wink at the camera before the clip fades to the next. Goro has…never seen that interview before.

‘Akira-san, Goro-san, as the band’s main lyricists, I wanted to ask about your writing process. How collaborative is it?’

‘We’re rather similar, Akira and I,’ screen-Goro explains. ‘Inspiration can strike at any time, any place. We’ll bring skeletons to each other and turn it into a song. We rarely have to ask what the other’s lyrics are about. We just know.’

Screen-Akira shrugs. ‘Usually I just stare at his face until I hear music in my head.’

A lie. Goro watches himself frown on screen before the next clip starts. Akira has a habit of downplaying his songwriting abilities.

‘Akechi-san, the world is dying to know what conditioner you use!’

‘Really? That’s what the world is dying to know about?’

Goro remembers this. An interview with some teenage tabloid magazine. He also remembers how furious Sae was with him for not taking it seriously.

‘It’s the caramel scented one from Luxury Planet,’ Akira answers for him. ‘He always gets so mad when I use it.’

A textbox over a neon green background appears on screen.

why is akira using goro’s conditioner? and how can goro tell when he’s used it?

Goro scoffs. “Because he uses a fuckton and smells like caramel for the rest of the day.”

answer: they shower together

Goro doesn’t know what he expected.

lets move on to them touching each other… no not like that :p

As advertised, the video plays clip after clip of Akira and Goro stealing touches. Akira resting his hand on Goro’s knee during an interview. Goro pinching Akira’s face in the background of a behind the scenes video. The two hugging at an award show after winning album of the year. Goro draping his arms over Akira’s shoulders on stage. Akira’s hand wrapped around Goro’s throat in a music video—but that doesn’t count. They were acting. A creeper paparazzi shot of Goro…resting his head on Akira’s shoulder… Okay! That was a private moment! Akira was comforting Goro after he broke a nail.

Goro huffs as he closes the video, scrolling down to the comments instead. There has to be some reasonable fans who understand their friendship is platonic.

u shoudlve included the vid of kira saying he wants to kiss crow on new years! TT_TT its from SEES winter tour diary

ugh they cant keep their hands off each otherrrr <3

i dont get it. if they were rly gay, why not just be open about it? Clearly they don’t care about retaliation if theyre doing all this -_-

@decemberthird b*tch. their label wont let them be gay so theyre rebelling against their contract. remember when kira said he gets in trouble with management a lot? or are u 2 much of a fake fan to remember?

“He gets in trouble with management because he never shows up to meetings on time,” Goro mutters. Then again, none of them do, so they all get in hot water from time to time.

goro akechi’s slutty hips (tugboating) wrote,
@ 2006-05-01 12:27:59

jokercrow poetry MASTERPOST

we all know kechi has an affinity for writing poetry about his guitarist (*cough cough* boyfriend), but has anyone ever compiled it all into one post? LOOK NO FURTHER =D

PRE-CROWS ERA
as we all kno MOC (murder of crows) released on the fateful day of sept 27 2003. but phantoms existed for a long time b4 then! sadly we dont kno the exact date jokercrow met, but we do kno they were 17 + 18. so lets look @ sum of crows posts from high skewl >:3

(08/05/02) How do you escape the walls closing in on you when you’re also sinking in quicksand?

Teachers and counsellors have been up my ass about entrance exams, but I have have a one-track mind and its singular destination is seeing my band’s name in lights. Making music is my sole focus atm and my best friend is the only one who believes in me -_-

It’s rare to find someone who understands you so well. I think I found my soulmate. Yeah, I don’t care if we’re both guys. Friends like this are once in a lifetime. Letting that slip through your fingers is a regret that’ll haunt you even when you can no longer place his face to his name

hear that? THEYRE SOULMATES!! this is still pre-relationship, but notice how back then goro didnt care about being seen as gay with his best friend (¬‿¬)

(12/02/02) Sing to me and make me fall in love

I’m awake at dawn to meet Akira at a coffee shop. We need the extra time to write before we’re confined behind school gates. The sky looks like spilled paint at sunrise. Maybe we should just move in together to make this easier.

The album is starting to take shape. It’s got sharp edges that’ll look different depending on the angle of the viewer. Band has been practicing like crazy for our New Year's show. 03 will be the year of the Phantoms.

self explanatory. kechi wasnt posting as much this year because he was clearly busy. here and here are a couple pics ann posted of the band. notice how close joker and crow were before they realized there was a camera on them O_O

Goro clicks on the links, leading him to a post from Ann from a few years ago. The first picture is a candid from their band practice (in Akira’s living room, because his parents were out of the house so frequently they weren’t even aware he was in a band). Akira and Goro are smiling at each other, standing close in their own little bubble while Makoto tunes her bass in the foreground. The second picture shows them both looking up in shock after the flash went off. Present-day Goro feels a pang in his chest looking at the pictures, something he blames on a mix of nostalgia and pride.

2003: YEAR OF THE PHANTOMS

this is where jokercrow becomes real. goro graduated in march which meant more time for music (and falling in love). here is the picture kira posted to celebrate

(02/14/03) Chocolate tastes like blood and metal. A bouquet of onions made of rose petals.

Another year of pink consumerism. Sakamoto’s pity party was embarrassing to watch. I don’t usually mind spending the day alone. There’s nothing I’d necessarily rather be doing instead.

Whatever. I’m apathetic to it all.

Akira provided most of the chocolate. He was collecting gifts all day. These girls have some goddamn nerve. I always assumed it was rude to approach someone while they’re clearly engaged in conversation with someone else, but I guess we all have different definitions of bitchiness. I should get used to this. He’s about to get a lot more gifts when he becomes a rockstar.

Maybe I’m less apathetic than I thought. This sad excuse for a holiday brings out the pessimist in me. I’m drenched in perfume and melancholy, praying for an unexpected rainstorm to take out those decorations in the city. I’m watching melted chocolate swirl as I pour it down the drain. I hope they all choke on that shit.

so goro was kind of an edgelord who hated valentines day. butttttt what did we expect? sluts were all over his bf and he was jealous D:

compare this to his post from white day a month later:

(03/14/03) Smitten by the gaze of black eyes

I’ll play this night on repeat, the record of you and me sitting on the floor with a box of wine. I’m known to talk with my hands, but I don’t have it in me to care about the pool of burgundy I spilled on the carpet. I’m half hoping you’ll add to the mess so it can be our mark left on the world instead of a clumsy mistake I made while talking your ear off. I’d lay on the floor and trace over it when I miss being intertwined with you.

Thanks for the flowers. I know they were probably rejects from Rafflesia, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Your presence was a gift on its own.

u know who worked at rafflesia in 2003????? AKIRA.

(06/03/03) The morning (happily ever) after.

Did you know beaches are usually empty on Monday nights? You can get away with anything. Some might find peace in the repetitive crash of ocean waves, but I found it thrilling. With only the moonlight to guide us, we pledged a secret that night. We were baptized in the Pacific, leaving our sea salt sanctuary born anew. I’d hold my breath underwater to worship you.

It’s my last year as a teenager, but last night made me realize how excited I am to grow old with you. First step is moving out of this shitty apartment.

as we all kno, this is the night goro gave akira a blowjob. in the ocean on goro’s 19th birthday. they possibly did more than that, as alluded by the so-called “baptism” (hes so dramatic), but the bj is basically canon at this point. u cant tell me im wrong.

“You’re wrong,” Goro mutters aloud. He doesn’t remember the specifics of that night—it was three years ago for crying out loud, but he can say for certain that zero blowjobs took place. He held his breath because they were swimming. And he meant worship in a platonic way. It was about his desire to have fun with Akira that night. It was a metaphor!

Goro skips ahead to the next section.

CROWS ERA

touring begins, album promos begin, award shows begin. and jokercrow never stop fucking

(09/27/03) im so dirty baaaabe ;P

murder of crows is out todaeeyy \o/ go buy our record and give it a listen. or 2. im still swooning from akiras super sexy guitar riffs >_< idk how ill control myself hearing him play it live hehe

(09/27/03) Disregard that last post. Obviously Akira got a hold of my laptop and typed that nonsense -_-

Yes, Murder of Crows is out. Years of hard work have paid off. I can’t wait for everyone to finally hear this thing. You’ll either love it or hate it, but it’s real. It’s us.

We’re just getting started.

akira does a good goro impression ^_^

Goro rolls his eyes. He skips ahead a few more sections until something catches his eye.

2006: LOVERS ERA

we all kno jokercrow r basically married at this point. it wont be confirmed until we see rings on those fingers, but they sure as hell act like it ^_^

the murder scene tour has basically been their honeymoon. they always share hotel rooms (akira said so in this interview), and they spend their days off travelling together (we’ll go over that later). theyve gotten wayyyyy more bold about their relationship. i mean, its been three years. theyre probably tired of hiding by now :(

(04/28/06) Stories don’t start with ‘once upon a time.’

Stories start with your smile working the graveyard shift, lighting up an entire city in place of a hollow sun. You stay at the center of the solar system because you know everything will turn to ash if you get too close.

Infinite stars twinkle at my feet each night, but I still look for my sun. Even if it blinds me. Even if it burns me alive.

Stories don’t end with ‘happily ever after.’ Sometimes they end with a bang. Sometimes they end in smoke. Sometimes they just end.

Show in Sendai tonight. Super stoked to play with my band again. Don’t forget your cameras ;)

first of all, the sun is a metaphor for akira, if that wasnt obv already. they run around the city at night and akiras smile is so bright it replaces the sun. the ‘stars’ that twinkle at goros feet are the cameras in the crowd, which is why he tells everyone in sendai to bring their cameras. yet he still watches akira, his sun, while theyre performing. heres a few pictures as proof.

Goro squints. That poem wasn’t about Akira. It was an allegory about stardom and letting himself get swept away in a life of fame. Sure, he might’ve been exploring Niigata with Akira the night prior, and he might’ve felt somewhat inspired afterward, but it’s normal to be inspired by friends, right?

(04/30/06) I’m tired of IV drips of you.

Every day spent together is addicting. In my dreams I see your silhouette dancing against a full moon, and despite how lanky and jagged your motions are, I yearn for it. The things we get up to are unseen like dust on top of clouds. Time is never a waste when it’s spent with you. But the summer marches on like a parade, and soon the winter will arrive like a pageant. I fear tour coming to an end, I dread going back to being spoonfed your presence. How can I ask you to visit more whenIwantyoutoneverleave? I want nothing but breath between us. I want the whole thing.

self-explanatory, no? crow dreads the end of tour because it no longer means being with joker every day. idk why they cant just move in together, but we kno how stubborn kechi can be -_-

btw this was posted after jokercrow spent an entire weekend exploring sendai, as explained in akiras post here

They assume this poem is about Akira? No, it was simply about how Goro dislikes the winter. Sure, the end of tour is always bittersweet, mostly bitter in terms of loneliness. And he would like Akira to visit more. Every day if he could help it.

…

(05/1/06) I never asked to be Hollywood’s poster boy.

I’m forced to shield myself from the world’s eyes, and I’m taking you with me. Every touch, every whisper, locked behind a chain and key. You let judgement fall right off your back, but I carry it around on my shoulders. I love to hate attention. I hate to love attention.

All things are subjective, I’ve learned. But I didn’t expect the way we look at each other to be left up to interpretation.

Your presence is what keeps me going. A shoulder to lean on, a chest to cry on, a soul I can drag down to my level. Love is simple once you break down the variants. The love for a best friend, the love for a perfect melody. Obsession, infatuation, truefuckinglove. You’ll know it once you feel it.

soooo clearly this is about how they have to stay in the closet. they have to shield their relationship away because their management doesnt want that sweet sweet hetero money going down the drain -_-

Okay, now this one is a stretch. Goro was calling out the fans who obsess over his personal life! He was emphasizing the importance of privacy, as well as reminding everyone that love doesn’t have to be romantic. He loves Akira in a platonic way. Like a best friend. Like a brother. Obviously.

(05/02/06) Sometimes I lose myself when I’m around you.

You say I’m stubborn to a fault, but I can’t be faulted for admitting it. In a world of fight or flight my only instinct is to be close to you. Even in cramped spaces, my pillow was made for two. It might starve and die without a second head on its latter end. I’m one more lonely night from keeping you chained to a leash and I’m one more empty coffee mug from stitching our sides together so you can’t leave. As long as we can rest our heads on the same pillow.

I took an evening stroll through the cemetery of my mistakes. I saw myself in a different light—something I might call theatrics if I was willing to delude myself. How could I be putting on a show when I forget we’re being watched? At this rate it’ll slip my mind to breathe when I’m with you.

It’s not something that can be solved by an intervention. I won’t stop until we trip and fall off the pedestal we were put on, or it cracks in half beneath our feet. I hope we can be reincarnated as one person. I hope our bodies mold together in the womb of some unsuspecting housewife so I can finally know what it’s like to feel your heart beating inside me. Your skin is so warm when I run my hands over it. If I can’t feel it wrapped around me while I sleep, I’ll wear it like a winter coat.

do i even need to say anything? probably not, but i still will bc this is my house my rules. so OBVIOUSLY this is about akira—

Goro exits out of the post. He can no longer watch his art be massacred like this.

This is ridiculous! Goro’s journal posts aren’t about Akira. Sure, occasionally he might write about experiences he’s shared with Akira, and at times he writes about the feelings Akira rouses in him. But they’re not love letters dedicated to his best friend, or whatever it is these conspiracy theorists are implying.

…How do they even know this is Goro’s account anyway?

He’s about to close the tab—he swears! Until his attention is caught by the next post. Yet another mention of tonight’s stage antics that brings him to a pause.

secret spider ⋆ཋྀ ˚ (dangerousfever) wrote,
@ 2006-05-01 10:50:21

tonights events during prison remind me of @mouseworld’s slash !! i rly hope this happened instead of them sadly jerking off in their bunks allone π_π

A link to a Lifejournal post sits before Goro. He remembers learning about the concept of “slashfiction,” and he can only assume that’s what the post is referring to. He’s managed to avoid it until now, and he plans to continue that streak.

Except… he is admittedly curious as to how the fans characterize him. He should probably scope it out to determine if he should blacklist this author from their concerts.

Goro clicks the link, and his eyes immediately widen as he’s thrust into the world of slashfiction. He doesn’t know what he was expecting—some first person stream of consciousness about Goro getting lost in Akira’s eyes? That’s certainly not what he’s looking at here. It’s much… bolder. Much filthier. And apparently Goro giving Akira blowjob is a running theme amongst fans.

title: happily ever after below the waist
author: mouseworld
rating: NC-17
fandom: the phantoms
pairing: akira/goro
summary: goro has taken up a new approach to getting rid of akira’s stage boners (spoiler: its a blowjob)
notes: ummm crow is a total slut in this but what did we expect XD i just couldnt get this idea out of my head
disclaimer: i dont own akira, goro, or the phantoms. but akira owns goro XD

Goro welcomes the grimace that slides onto his face. He already has low expectations for this… story. Goro reads real books, not online fantasy garbage. He doubts the structure, the grammar, the plot will hold a candle to the decades of literature he’s explored. This is stuff Ryuji is capable of reading for crying out loud. And he can barely read a menu most days.

The stage floor is hard beneath Goro’s hands and knees, his leather pants doing little to protect him from bruising. He’s hot and sweaty after a night of performing, the venue lit up with the flash of digital cameras, and Goro fucking loves it. He puts everything he has into this encore. He owes it to his fans for getting him this far. He owes it to his band for playing a perfect fucking show.

Goro arches his back as he lowers onto his elbows, sticking his ass higher in the air, and he leans forward to reach a hand out to the barricade. Dozens of fangirls reach out to touch him as they squeal amongst each other, but Goro’s attention is dedicated solely to what’s happening behind him. More accurately, what he can feel happening behind him. Akira towering over him as he plays the final chorus of The Phrase that Pays, his eyes trailing down his body, the heat of his gaze glued to his ass. Goro shakes his hips just to give him something to watch.

Come on, his movements say. Join me. Kneel down behind me and give them a fucking show.

But Akira doesn’t, the fucking coward. He stands there and watches Goro wrap the microphone cord around his neck, hard as a rock behind his guitar. Goro finishes his final note with a lick across the length of the microphone, craning his head to watch Akira play them out.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he purrs into the mic, “Give it up for the Phantoms!”

Goro rolls his eyes. Sure, the grammar is decent, and it’s not riddled with typos like he expected. But he’s failing to grasp what the plot is meant to be. Goro Akechi acts like a slut on stage. How original. He’s certainly never heard that before.

Akira struts toward Goro after the song comes to a close, the venue filled with the ear-shattering screams of fans. He grabs a fistful of Goro’s hair to yank his head upwards.

“Goro Akechi, everyone,” he speaks into Goro’s mic. “Isn’t he a fucking star?”

Goro’s mouth waters. Akira’s guitar is slung to the side, granting him a clear view of his bulge, and Goro’s just as hard. This is a problem they both struggle with. They’re adrenaline junkies, he and Akira, and the stage acts as their dealer. Except the high doesn’t end at the curtain call, no. The fun is only getting started when they make their way backstage.

Goro shifts in his bed. It’s…decently accurate so far. Being on stage is exciting; it’s what Goro and Akira live for. Even the hair pulling has some truth behind it.

Based on the nauseating excuse for a premise, however, Goro knows the author’s sliver of talent is about to go down the drain.

Backstage. It’s where Goro warms up his voice while pacing back and forth before a show. It’s where Makoto tells off Ryuji for chugging too many energy drinks. It’s where Akira and Goro crash onto the green room couch after a long-winded performance, sitting half on top of each other and ignoring the obvious sexual tension until they’re alone in the shitty hotel room of the night. But not tonight. Tonight they both have something to get out of their system.

First of all, their hotel rooms aren’t shitty. Sae puts in more effort than that.

Akira’s guitar gets handed off to a technician, and Goro immediately yanks him around the corner. The hallway they stumble into is empty—for now. It’s private enough, with its only destination being a fire exit that likely won’t be used unless Ryuji does something incredibly stupid with the microwave. Goro wouldn’t care if they were in the middle of the pit surrounded by buzzing fans. He drops to his knees so fast it causes pain to shoot up through the bone, but it’s no different than some of the moves he’s pulled on stage. He unbuttons Akira’s pants and has to literally unpeel the fabric clinging to his sweaty legs. Akira’s boner springs up, tall and proud like a fucking skyscraper, and Goro moans from the sight of it alone. He’s been dying to have that thick shaft down his throat since their pre show ritual.

Goro chokes on air. He knew a blowjob would be involved in this atrocity, but they’re really so depraved to do it in public?! Where anyone could turn the corner and catch them? Their bandmates, crew members, even their fans?!

Goro imagines how this would play out in tonight’s venue. Which wall he’d press Akira against backstage before his knees hit the cement floor, already bruised from crawling across the stage…

He shakes his head to rid himself of those thoughts. This isn’t real life—not even close! And Goro certainly doesn’t wish it was.

The scent of his cock alone has Goro squishing his thighs together like a bitch in heat. He chews his bottom lip in excitement imagining the throbbing girth in his mouth—Akira’s pulse. There’s nothing more romantic than having complete control over him. To feel his heart rate speed up in real time while Goro swallows him down. His very essence of life.

Drama queen. Someone needs to lay off the bad internet poetry.

Goro doesn’t feel the need to tease. He doesn’t pretend to be coy or send Akira those large, innocent eyes like girls do in porn, not when he’s this fucking impatient. He parts his lips and lets the burning thickness of Akira’s cock slide across his tongue, and he moans at how fucking delicious it is. Sweat mixed with syrupy precum makes for the best post-show cocktail, and he doesn’t bother being quiet as he slurps it down. Akira, however, attempts to be modest, having to cover his mouth to muffle his groans to a minimum.

“Eager, aren’t you?” Akira tangles his hands in Goro’s hair and slowly pushes his cock deeper down his throat. His touch is fucking euphoric, just as it was when Akira grabbed his hair onstage. It’s an enigma, how he can so easily make Goro putty in his hands. He could pull out his dick on stage and Goro would be slobbering all over it with a simple tug to his hair.

Goro feels lightheaded, his skull throbbing as though he can feel Akira’s phantom touch in his hair. The author should be embarrassed for this affront to literature. What is with this horrific characterization? Goro would never behave this way, and certainly not this abruptly! What ever happened to a steady plot progression? If this can even be considered a “plot.”

And not to mention Akira’s characterization. Goro can’t picture him behaving this way at all. He wouldn’t pet Goro’s hair so sensually, he wouldn’t praise him and hold eye contact while Goro makes a fool of himself. He wouldn’t tip his head against the wall and let his deep voice be reduced to a helpless moan. His fingers wouldn’t curl against Goro’s scalp as he thrusts into his mouth, repeating his name like it’s a prayer he’s desperate to have answered. He wouldn’t have Goro moaning like a “bitch in heat.”

This is Akira. Pathetic, loser Akira. The goofball dork Akira. Goro’s thoughtful, too-kind-for-his-own-good bandmate, voted heartthrob of the year by Alternative Digest magazine. The very same Akira who steals Goro’s attention on stage, who always manages to put a smile on his chronic resting bitch face. Goro’s platonic soulmate and best friend Akira.

“You’re one to talk,” Goro snaps back, his lips brushing Akira’s thick cockhead with each word. He doesn’t usually speak with his mouth full, but he has no reason to keep up pretenses around Akira. “I saw you swinging that thing around since Reinventing the Wheel.”

“Honey, I’ve been hard since you first wrapped those pretty hands around the microphone.”

“That seems dangerous. You could take an eye out with this thing.”

“Don’t be jealous, sweetheart. My dick isn’t touching anyone but you.”

Yeah, no shit. Goro doesn’t need any sappy reassurances when he keeps Akira on a leash.

Goro cringes at the dialogue. They would never say shit like this. Well, maybe Akira would. But his behavior is still entirely out of character, and he certainly wouldn’t be able to last this long. Goro would have him reduced to a weeping mess in seconds! Sure, he’s never sucked cock before, but he’s sure he’s just as good as this “slashfiction” makes him out to be.

Goro uses two hands to stroke Akira’s shaft, treating this handjob like a full upper-body workout. He kisses the tip in the meantime, his lacey gloves so soaked in precum it’s become ingrained into the fabric. He’ll never be able to wear them again without flashing back to this moment: on his knees in an empty hallway with his throat fucked and raw, sucking his best friend’s cock like he’s getting paid for it.

“Good boy,” Akira growls when Goro starts choking on his dick again, his lashes fluttering helplessly with specks of tears on his waterline. “You want the world to think you’re closed off and mysterious, don't you, Goro? You always act tougher than you are. but all it takes is a few tugs to the hair to turn you into an obedient fuckdoll—”

Goro closes the tab at record speed. He can’t. He can’t imagine Akira saying these things. He can’t violate him like this. He can’t deal with the unbearable heat coiling in his gut. It has to be from guilt. Disgust and guilt. He’s not Akira’s damn fuckdoll. If anything, Akira’s the one who would fall right back in order with a few measly strokes. He’d be the one trembling against the wall when Goro calls him a good boy. He’d be the one moaning from Goro’s hot mouth around him.

Whatever. At least the author admitted they’re best friends.

Goro Akechi (murdercrow) wrote,
@ 2006-05-03 01:59:11

Current mood: Lacerated

Current music: Playing God ♪

Entry tags: Diary

You’ll choke if you swallow someone without chewing.

I have rope burns on my wrists and paintball-bullet-bruises on my elbows, but a broken wing is no reason to lock a bird in a cage. I will only flutter more out of defiance.

An act of obedience is nothing I’d receive a standing ovation for. The words you sing are carefully crafted by my pen; you dance to the will of my voice. I am the moon to your tide. I have utter control of your body.

I like you best with your bloody heart laid bare to be tinkered with. I like your eyebrows pinched before you melt into a puddle I can use to clean my shoes. I already know you’d give your all to me, so what point is there to prove? That I’m uncontrollable? That I’m more than a play-thing for the world to dress up? Your favorite place is wherever I decide to put you. Maybe I’ll have mercy and put myself there too.

joka ≽^⎚˕⎚^≼ (jokerisacreep) wrote,
@ 2006-05-03 11:06:17

Current mood: scholarly

Current music: Kiss My Sass ♪

3 rules for making the perfect cup of coffee:

every1 always asks for my tips so ill finally spit it out :P

1. make sure u have the sexiest piece of ass relying on u for caffeine, then youll be motivated to do everything perfectly.

2. when said sexy piece of ass is not present, pretend they are. practice makes perfect.

3. every failed cup of coffee increases the risk of never seeing sexy piece of ass again. and even tho u love to watch them leave, u hate to see them go (/_\)

It’s difficult, admittedly, to go on stage the following night and not think about sucking Akira off. The vision has been drilled into Goro’s head, and the dream he had after staying up far too late certainly didn’t help.

The band is being put up in a hotel room tonight. That should give Goro plenty of time to catch up on some much needed rest.

His lack of sleep didn’t go unnoticed, particularly by Akira, who could catch anything slightly awry despite how thick of a wall Goro might put up. When he came trudging into the bus ‘kitchen’ and demanded a third cup of coffee this afternoon, still dressed in a baggy shirt and slippers with his hair a tangled mess, Akira (who insisted on bringing all his fancy coffee equipment on tour—not that Goro is complaining) knew something was up. Goro’s dark eye bags were a dead giveaway.

“The bumpy road had me tossing in my sleep last night,” Goro bullshitted his way through an explanation. “I think Maruki has managed to get worse at driving despite the amount of practice he’s had.”

Alas, Goro threw their bus driver under the bus (pun unintended. Goro doesn’t make ‘jokes’) in attempt to escape Akira’s questioning. It worked well enough, as Akira simply shot him a wink and said, “Feel free to crawl into my bunk if it happens again.”

And that was when Goro’s dream came flooding back to him. He almost let himself forget it. It’s as vivid as a real memory: crawling under Akira’s covers, head and all, while the bus continued to rock back and forth. There’s not much room in these cramped excuses for beds, but Akira’s fingers carding through his hair is more than encouraging. There’s not enough space to lay flat on his stomach, instead having to curl on his knees while he sinks down and…

Well, you get the picture.

Even now, deep into their set of the night, his dream and that “slashfiction” continues to haunt Goro. The firm mattress beneath him, the darkness of Akira’s sheets surrounding him, fullness of his throat that felt oh-so-real and oddly right. Like a puzzle piece sliding into place—or, to be blunt, like a big cock sliding down his throat. It’s not like Goro’s ever seen it—Akira’s penis, that is—much to his displeasure. Ryuji has seen it, as he’s claimed in interviews when asked about embarrassing moments on tour. We’re livin’ together for half a year, n’ we’re basically brothers. Of course we’ve walked in on each other naked!

Yet, despite living on the same bus, Goro has never walked in on Akira naked, because he has the decency to knock before opening a closed door. Or perhaps it's simply not meant to be for Goro to see Akira’s dick, because he’s managed to miss it every time they take a bath together, which has probably entered the triple digits at this point. Akira is already in the bath by the time Goro gets out of the shower, or Goro politely looks away while Akira disrobes. But maybe he should steal a peek next time. It is a best friend’s birthright to know what the other’s dick looks like.

So much to say, dream-Akira was as big as the “slashfiction” described, because Goro didn’t have any other basis to go off of. Surely he’s not that big, right? Big enough to see his own cock in Goro’s throat because his flesh is absolutely bulging with it? That would be excessive.

There is something alluring about it. The pain, the filthiness, the shamelessness. Being lusted after by his best friend… Goro has to rid himself of the knot in his chest before his words come out choked.

Like a magnet, his gaze flicks to Akira in the midst of Boy Division. The expert movements of his fingers are as hypnotizing as ever, and his smile is absolutely radiant beneath the stage lights. He occasionally glances down to his guitar, his bangs cloaking over his sweat-masked forehead, but Goro knows he can play without needing to look. It urges him to strut over to his side of the stage and draw his gaze up with a single painted finger beneath his chin.

The smirk he’s met with is cocky, with eyes to match as they flick down Goro’s body to shamelessly check him out. Goro would do the same if he hadn’t been stealing glances the entire fucking night. He already knows Akira’s arms are glistening with sweat, because of course he decided to wear a tank top tonight. He already knows he’s wearing those boots with a heel that make him the slightest bit taller than Goro, and he already knows his pants are dangerously low on his hips despite the multiple belts he dawns. Goro knows about wearing belts for show rather than practicality better than anyone, but this is just ridiculous. Watching Akira’s shirt lift to show off the trail of hair disappearing into his waistband every time he pumps a fist into the air is just absurd.

Goro grips his microphone in a chokehold. Akira’s pink tongue occasionally slips out of his mouth as he sings backing vocals, and fuck, his voice. So deep and mesmerizing, sending shivers down into the marrow of Goro’s bones. He’s in love with Akira’s voice. He always has been; he can admit that much. There’s songs he’s decided to scrap because Goro’s lyrics don’t sound right if it’s anyone but Akira singing them. It’s funny how Akira insists the opposite is true.

“Kyoto!” Ryuji screams into his mic. “It’s been way too long!”

“Can you believe it?” Ann asks the crowd. “Last time we were here Crows had just come out.”

“I think Kyoto is where we did the takoyaki roulette.” Akira’s voice booms through the speakers, but Goro can hear him directly in his ear as he leans into Goro’s microphone. He has guitar slung behind his body, his front pressed against Goro’s back with his arms wrapped around Goro’s waist. Like they’re posing for goddamn prom pictures. Worst of all, Goro can feel his stage boner poking against his ass. “Remember, Goro?”

It’s undeniable, something he can’t blame on a trick of the light or a fold in Akira’s pants when he feels the physical proof of it. Is Akira… aware of how hard his dick is? Surely not, or he wouldn’t be sticking it where it’s not supposed to be.

…But would him pressing his soft dick against Goro’s ass be much better?

Another night, another excuse to avoid signing autographs. Not that Goro tries very hard. He simply throws on his hoodie and mutters an exhausted, “I’m going to the hotel.”

“We got the day off tomorrow, man,” Ryuji protests. “Come on out and say hi!”

“Let him go,” Akira insists. He moves closer to Goro to murmur in his ear, “Can I trust there’ll be room service fries waiting for me?”

“I’m going straight to sleep, Akira.”

“You’re not gonna eat dinner?”

Goro sighs. He knows that look. It’s Akira’s ‘I will hunt down the nearest grocery store and personally make you a three course meal if you say no’ look. “Double patty, toasted bun, caramelized onions?”

“You know me so well,” Akira grins as he ruffles Goro’s hair, and Goro groans as he moves away.

“Ugh, do you know how long it takes me to do my hair?”

“What? You’ll be wearing your hood anyway.”

Classic Akira, always insisting on touching Goro one way or another. Goro smooths out his hair in attempt to rid his scalp of Akira’s lingering touch. It doesn’t work.

Goro is scrolling Lifejournal when Akira gets back to their hotel room. This isn’t my body, I’m simply visiting, says limousinecarousel. I’m a parasite on this planet. An unwelcome invader shifting between vessels—

“I thought you said you were going to sleep?”

Goro, dawned in a fluffy robe and a face mask, doesn’t look up from his laptop. “I am.”

“Scrolling Lifejournal?”

“I’m reading.”

“...Lifejournal entries?”

“A book.”

“Yeah? What’s it about?”

Goro simply describes the plot of the last book he read. “A man who purposefully chokes on food in expensive restaurants to receive settlement money.”

“I thought you already finished that one.”

Oh right. Goro forgot Akira actually listens to what he says.

“It’s the sequel.”

“I thought you hated sequels.”

“I despise them.”

“And you’re reading this one because..?”

“Sometimes you have to engage with literature you disagree with.”

“I thought you hated engaging with things you disagree with.”

“...Shut up and eat your burger.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Akira grabs his plate before plopping down on the bed like the fiend he is, and Goro gets back to scrolling. Only to be met by a post from the fiend himself.

joka ≽^⎚˕⎚^≼ (jokerisacreep) wrote,
@ 2006-05-03 3:25:09

Current mood: a broken shell of a man

Current music: My Heart Will Go On ♪

i miss my cat >.<

i hope he’z getting along with sojiro. sometimes i put my hand on the bus window and imagine his paw on the other side of the glass. id love to make him our official tour mascot and bring him on the road but i kno hed b arguing with goro and ryuji the entire time D:

dont rly kno where wed put his litter box either…

“I do not argue with your cat.”

Akira barks out a laugh. “Not scrolling, my ass.”

“I took a brief detour. Sequels fucking suck.”

“Oh, honey, don’t torture yourself. I bet LTV Cribs is on.”

Goro groans. “I don’t wanna watch that shit.”

It’s too late. Akira has already grabbed the remote and taken control of the TV. Goro attempts to drown out the loud music and obnoxious host, but as he reaches the end of his Lifejournal feed, he is officially out of distractions. He could read the book he has tucked in his overnight bag, but he doubts he’d be able to concentrate in such an environment.

So Goro goes where no sane person should ever go: the JokerCrow Lifejournal ‘ship’ community. Simply because he’s curious if anyone caught a picture of Akira’s boner tonight. He needs to know if it was real or something he imagined.

He scrolls past a post dissecting his recent journal entry and doesn’t bother wasting a click. It had nothing to do with Akira, and he won’t let these delusional nutjobs convince him otherwise.

Then he comes across a post dissecting their lyrics and using them as ‘proof’ of Akira and Goro’s gay relationship, and he recoils in dismay. Now this is taking things too far! When Goro wrote ‘everything you touch turns to whimpers and shivers, you make me spill my guts, my heart, and my liver’ it was not about craving Akira’s touch nor was it about how he’s confided in Akira for years. And it’s certainly not about the ‘totally smexy’ sex they have according to halfmoonheaven in the comments.

“Do you think I could get on LTV Cribs?” Akira asks from the other side of the room.

“Why? So you can show off your cat hair-ridden duvet?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t love my bed, Mr. Blanket Stealer.”

Goro rolls his eyes. He doesn’t steal blankets. Akira just doesn’t try hard enough to hold his ground.

He continues searching for a picture of Akira’s boner (not because he wants to see Akira’s boner, but because he needs confirmation of his own sanity), but his mission is interrupted when he comes across another post promoting ‘slashfiction.’ Curiosity, admittedly, gets the best of him, specifically one line in particular.

title: cold, empty mattresses and falling stars
author: phantomcrows
rating: NC-17
fandom: the phantoms
pairing: jokercrow
POV: third person (akira)
summary: akira pines (lusts) after goro and jerks off in his bus bunk >:3c
A/N: i mean have we SEEN the way kira looks at goro?? im just putting his thoughts into words :p title may sound angsty but its not that sad. we know theyll end up together 1 day ^_^
disclaimer: all fake. this did not happen (probably XD) and i do not own anything

Akira’s perspective? How interesting. Goro has picked Akira’s brain more than enough times to count, but he still doesn’t understand some aspects of his thought process. Like why he thought getting multiple tattoos of his pest of a cat was a good idea.

So yes, he’s curious as to how his view of Akira’s brain would compare to the perspective of a fan. And if they completely butcher his character, it’s Goro’s duty to defend his best friend.

Akira can’t sleep. Not because the bus is shaking, not because Ryuji is snoring or Goro’s laptop is glaring through his curtain, nor because a bout of insomnia has overtaken him. More accurately, he’s forcing himself to stay awake because Goro left the curtain of his bunk open, meaning his sleeping face is visible to anyone who dares to steal a look. And that anyone is a sleepless Akira watching him from across the aisle.

Akira’s slept in the same room as Goro before, plenty of times. They’ve shared hotel suites, even beds at each other’s apartments. But this is different. This is something Akira isn’t supposed to see. A gift from the heavens that has been descended upon him this Tuesday night at 1:39AM. Goro never leaves his bunk curtain open.

Drama queen. Goro rolls his eyes.

Bus Goro is what Akira refers to as the person Goro becomes on tour—and not when they’re staying at fancy hotels he can use to carry out his spa days.

Fancy hotels. Finally someone puts some respect on Sae’s name.

On the bus, Goro can get away with his skin care routine, but he can’t bathe before crawling into a big fluffy bed stocked with more pillows than a furniture store—a Goro Akechi staple. The lack of such essentials leaves Goro slightly on edge. He’s more gripey and groggy on the bus, waking up late and refusing to speak to a single soul until Akira serves him a piping hot cup of coffee, and even then Goro remains quiet. He’ll tuck himself into a corner and lose himself in a novel, more stiff than a diamond sitting in a recycling bin. He can only ever relax when Akira cuddles him into a catnap on the couch.

But this—Goro asleep with his curtain pulled back—isn’t a quick nap he was accidentally lulled into by Akira’s warm body. This is Goro’s nose twitching and his lips pulled into a straight line, not hanging open and drooling like usual. This is Goro with a blanket only covering his lower half, not pulled up to his chin to keep himself fully immersed in his cocoon. This is an entirely different Goro, one who can’t quite relax. A Goro who needs something (or someone) to put his thoughts to rest. Or to rid him of his thoughts entirely.

…Goro doesn’t drool.

And “bus Goro” is not a real thing. He doesn’t magically become a different person when he doesn’t have ten different pillows surrounding him at all times. Sure he was a little grumpy this morning, but that was because of that stupid dream that kept him on the worst side of restless. Which Akira still hasn’t apologized for, by the way.

Goro actually quite enjoys his time on the bus, particularly Akira’s constant presence. But of course Akira would notice a slight difference in Goro’s mood, whether it be good or bad. He can sense when Goro’s so much as wearing a different pair of underwear.

And oh how Akira would love to give it to him. Staying up late admiring Goro’s sleeping frame isn’t an uncommon occurrence for Akira, but it’s a sight he’ll never tire of. And after a wild night on stage, being shoved into a tiny bunk like a canned sardine just isn’t doing it. He’s antsy, and he still has some leftover energy to wear off. He also needs a bit of relaxation.

So he lets his hand drift down his abdomen, encouraged by Goro’s still lips and eyelashes fanned over his cheekbones, until he finally palms the hard bulge in his pajama pants. This wouldn’t be the first night he’s jerked off in his tour bunk, but it’s the first time he’s done so with his curtain peeled back, as well as having the perfect view to pair.

Has Akira… really jerked off in his tour bunk? Surely not, considering there’s nothing sexy about that cramped space and shitty mattress. Even Goro hasn’t, and he’s no prude when he has a full bed (and bedroom) to himself. He tends to… get loud when he hits that spot inside himself.

But Akira has a certain mysteriousness about him. He’s able to sneak around corners without being detected. Sometimes Goro will waltz into his living room and see Akira lounging on his couch, having never heard him come in, and he’ll damn near have a heart attack. So maybe Akira would be perfectly comfortable jerking off in that small space. Like a cat who can somehow slither through the tightest of gaps.

Goro chances a glance at Akira on the bed beside him, his limbs splayed out lazily, his glasses and the remote sitting on his chest. He laughs occasionally at whatever nonsense is happening on screen, the deep sound bringing a warmth to Goro’s body.

He should probably stop imagining Akira jerking off.

So he shifts his attention back to his laptop screen. Reading about Akira jerking off is different. He’s not doing this for pleasure. He’s being critical about it.

Whether he’s asleep or awake, Goro looks like an absolute angel. From his beautifully delicate face to his downright fuckable body. You’d think someone who spends so much time on his looks would be prissy and proper and clean, someone who thinks he’s too good to get himself dirty. Until you see him on stage and realize he’s fucking filthy. The way he’ll get on his knees and roll his hips like he’s riding cock, or the way he sticks his ass high in the air to say you can look, but you can’t touch. Goro Akechi is like an antique vase in a museum, surrounded by do not touch signs, and Akira just wants to tip him over and watch him shatter into a million pieces.

Of course, Akira will happily put him back together again.

Goro is a tease, a slut, and it’s no secret Akira wants to devour him. To say fuck the song, fuck the show, throw his guitar to the side and bury himself in Goro’s tight ass. Their fans have already figured it out—not like Akira wasn’t dropping hints left and right about his crush on his best friend. It seems Goro is the only person who hasn’t realized it yet. At least, Akira thinks he hasn’t realized it. It would be a very Goro thing to keep Akira hanging by a string as long as possible.

Goro huffs. Akira doesn’t have a crush on him, and that’s not something up for debate. Sure, some of the things in interviews can come across as flirty, and they’re known to get close on stage, but Akira acts that way with everyone! The fans have simply deluded themselves into thinking Goro is special. Why they can’t waste their time on a JokerSkull community is beyond him. If such a thing even exists.

…It better not exist.

Akira watches Goro’s chest rise with a slow breath, and he can’t resist slipping down his waistband and letting his hard cock slap against his stomach. Fuck, he’s so turned on. He hasn’t had enough time to jerk off lately, despite Goro’s, uh… stage presence having him raring to go every night. So when he wraps a fist around his base and begins to stroke, a loud moan comes searing out of him—one that could be easily heard if anyone was awake. Hell, even Maruki might’ve heard it all the way at the steering wheel.

Akira clenches his teeth to trap another sound threatening to escape, his breath coming out hissed as he properly pumps himself. Goro always does this to him, always makes him so hard. There’s an endless list of things Akira would do to him if he had the guts to confess his feelings. Lavish his neck in hickeys he has to cover with makeup to hide from paparazzi. Pin him against the tour bus wall and fuck him right then and there, the bumps in the road letting him hit all the more deeper. Tie him up with that microphone cord he always insists on wrapping around his neck. Bend him over and bury his face in his ass and go to town like he’s been dying to for fucking years on end. Maybe next time they stay in a hotel he’ll have to tell Goro to hold off on the room service so he can finally have a proper meal.

Goro peeks at Akira on his hotel bed, who is currently typing out a message on his phone while a commercial break airs on TV, the clack of the buttons drowned out by the gaudy infomercial. Akira wouldn’t want to do something like… What did they call it? ‘Going to town’ on Goro’s ass? No, Akira isn’t that disgusting. Not that Goro is deluded into thinking Akira is a saint, of course, but he’d have to be a complete pervert to willingly do something of that caliber.

Truthfully, Goro doesn’t know what Akira is into sexually. Or romantically for that matter, save for a few lyrics here and there. But those are stories about characters. It’s not like everything they write is a reflection of reality.

The band doesn’t leave Akira with much time to date around, so Goro doesn’t even know if he has a type. As curious as he is to know, it’s not exactly something he can ask Akira about. Even if—god forbid—an interviewer asked them about their sex lives, Goro doubts he’d get the full picture in that setting.

Akira picks up the pace, finding it more difficult to steady himself as his thoughts run wild. His teeth are completely buried in his bottom lip at this point, but if his muffled moans don’t alert his bandmates to what he’s been up to, the wet schlick of his fist propelling up and down his cock absolutely will. If he really wanted to, he could roll out of bed and get himself off in the bathroom instead, but then he wouldn’t have this perfect view to aid his brain in his fantasies. Visions of all the things he and Goro could get away with. Dropping to his knees and humping Goro’s leg while Goro serenades the crowd with a ballad (subtly, of course, as to not be too obvious), exchanging quickies before a show (and after, too, if Akira’s being realistic), Goro sitting on his face in their shared hotel room, their silhouettes visible through the window.

God, Goro would be so sensitive, wouldn’t he? Touch-starved Goro Akechi who never had a friend before he met Akira. His thighs would tremble on either side of Akira’s head, and his sweet hole would twitch every time Akira’s tongue piercing swiped across it.

Akira’s own body is shaking at this point, and if he wasn’t so far gone he might feel bad for Ryuji in the bunk beneath him. The only thing able to temporarily snap him out of his trance is the sound of movement across the aisle.

Goro, still restless on his tiny bed with far too few pillows, tossing and turning in attempt to get comfortable. As much as Akira loves the pinch of annoyance on his sleeping face, he secretly hopes Goro turns around so he can have a front row seat to that ass. Especially in those tiny sleep shorts he wears. Akira might even be able to see cheeks with how high they ride up.

…Why is this fictional version of Akira so obsessed with Goro’s ass?

And how do the fans know about Goro’s sleep shorts?!

Goro eventually ends up in the same position he started in, curled up with his face turned toward Akira. Except the only difference is his eyes are wide open. And his gaze flicks right down to Akira’s exposed cock.

His cock which he is continuing to jerk off despite the unexpected audience.

“I must still be dreaming,” Goro murmurs in a sleep-heavy whisper. He doesn’t sheepishly look away, or pretend he didn’t see anything. Instead he continues to watch. Shameless. Interested. Hungry.

Akira gulps. He has no intention of stopping—even if Goro didn’t look at him with those glazed eyes. He doesn’t apologize and cover himself with his pillow, which he’d continue to secretly rub his cock against. He doesn’t need to hide. In fact, he puts even more effort into stroking himself now that Goro’s watching. Twisting his wrist around the tip, bucking his hips up into his fist, putting on a damn show.

And it’s working. Goro slowly pushes his blanket down his body, revealing the plush skin of his thighs beneath his shorts.

“Sleep well, Akira?”

Akira laughs, the pressure of having an audience leaving him at that moment. Right, this is Goro. His best friend, soulmate, and love of his life Goro Akechi. Of course he’d be more comfortable in his presence. “Not at all.”

There’s something a bit too… fairytale about this masturbation story. Too good to be true. Goro tries to imagine how he’d react if he actually woke up to Akira jerking off in the bed beside him, and his brows pinch. Surely he wouldn’t be so calm about it. He’d have to gasp as to not be heard, too startled to even breathe. He absolutely could not take the embarrassment of being caught watching Akira jerking off. Not that he’d watch for too long, obviously. Just enough to catch a glimpse. So he can finally be on equal grounding with Ryuji, of course.

Goro’s responding roll of his eyes is fond. “Did you even try?”

“Yeah. My mind just happened to drift.”

“Anything specific?”

“Tonight’s show. The tour.”

“Doesn’t sound very specific to me.”

Akira’s chuckle comes out breathy. His strokes haven’t slowed down at all amidst their conversation, and judging by the way Goro’s hand is slowly inching down his body, things are about to get a lot hotter.

“This isn’t really the best time for conversation.”

“You already woke me up.” Goro’s hand slips beneath his shorts, hidden by the fabric. He’s clearly touching himself though, based on the movement and the redness that rises on his already flushed skin. “Who gives a damn if they hear us?”

“We’d have some explaining to do, that’s for sure.”

“Hm. Let’s be quiet, then.”

Goro lifts his hand out of his shorts and dips three fingers into his mouth instead, his eyes never leaving Akira’s own as he gets himself wet.

Alright, maybe Goro has a reputation of being a bit of a slut on stage, but this is just obscene.

Akira’s fist is moving with a mind of its own at this point, frantically chasing that heat while Goro edges him along. He hollows out those pretty cheeks as he sucks his fingers, his sharp cheekbones becoming all the more prominent, and his lips smack with a wet plop when he pulls them out, running a flat tongue along the wet skin.

“Fuck, Goro.”

“Hm? I thought you weren’t in the mood for talking.”

Goro reaches down to shimmy his way out of his shorts, and Akira damn near growls at the physical proof of his arousal. He knows Goro is right; they should keep quiet. It wouldn’t just be Akira getting caught jerking off, but the both of them. The rough, wet slap of his balls slapping against his fist is already loud enough.

Goro lifts a beautifully carved leg straight into the air—as flexible as ever—to give Akira a clear view, and it’s not long before his spit-slicked fingers find the tiny pink ring of his hole and begin to swirl in slutty circles.

Goro shudders. There’s no way that can feel good—using spit as a replacement for lube? Then again, this is the same author who assumes Goro would enjoy having his ass licked by his best friend, so clearly they have no idea what they’re talking about.

While Akira holds back a throaty groan, Goro doesn’t hold back as he lets a whiny, feminine moan surge out of him. It’s like a fake moan from a pornstar with how over-the-top it is. Akira’s quick to scold him, but he can’t help the way his strokes increase to an impossible speed.

“Goro.”

Goro meets his gaze with heavy-lidded eyes. “Yeah?”

And that ‘yeah’ isn’t any better. It’s not a ‘yeah’ you’d hear in conversation between friends. It’s a ‘yeah’ you’d hear from someone trying to taunt their way into getting dicked down. It’s a ‘yeah’ you’d hear from a girl getting pounded within an inch of her life and being asked how much she likes it—

First of all, Goro isn’t some pornstar slut drooling over Akira’s dick 24/7. Second of all, Goro isn’t a girl, no matter how pretty and androgynous the media calls him. This slashfiction is downright trash. It’s dependent on shock value, stripping its subjects of everything that makes them human. Plotless, meaningless, depraved trash.

“You okay?”

Goro doesn’t realize until moments later how violently he slammed his laptop shut.

“Ah, yes. I just… There was a terrible twist. In the book I’m reading.”

“Which was..?”

“...The dog… was a ghost…”

Akira nods slowly. The drawl of trash TV continues to blare in the background. “Yeah, that’s… That’s bad.”

“Tch, worse than bad. Downright unforgivable. I’ll never respect this author again.”

And he meant that personally, Lifejournal user phantomcrows.

Goro Akechi (murdercrow) wrote,
@ 2006-05-04 07:20:23

Current mood: Unlovable

Current music: Creep ♪

Entry tags: Diary

It’s no secret that you think of me. But do you ever think of me and you?

Who am I when I cross your mind? Am I a feeble animal of prey with your teeth molded into my neck, thick pools of blood marring my pale fur? Am I roadkill you stumbled upon, already long dead by the hands of some stranger, and your stomach churns knowing you weren’t the first to get to me?

Or perhaps you view us as equals. Two carnivores at the top of the food chain, untouchable, deadly in our instincts of survival. The greediest parts of me wish you would view me as royalty instead of keeping me at ground level. I only want to be put on your pedestal, your whirlwind dust devil. I know you wouldn’t hesitate to eat me alive after we’ve ravaged the ecosystems beneath us—if you’re willing to wait that long. I’ve seen the way you look at me. Your drool becomes far more obvious when you’re put under a spotlight.

Despite being booked in a hotel room for the night, they unfortunately don’t have much time off in Kyoto. The following day brings yet another interview for yet another shitty blogsite. Which means every moment is being captured on video, and thus Goro can’t glare into the camera without receiving a stern talking-to from Sae. Of course, a stern talking-to is nothing new to him, so he glares into the camera anyway.

“Ooh, this is a juicy one!” the interviewer gushes as she reads from her list of fan-submitted questions. “What actor or actress would play you in a documentary about the band?”

“That would make it a biopic, not a documentary,” Goro points out.

“Risette!” Ann blurts.

Goro rolls his eyes. “Also Risette.”

“Now for a more music-geared question,” the interviewer continues. “This one comes from a fan from overseas. If you could tour with any band of your choosing, who would it be?”

The answers quickly come pouring in. Shadow Ops! Midnight Channel! Risette! Goro’s thought about this question before, and he’s only come to one conclusion.

“I’d have to say SEES again.”

“Ah, you are a big fan, aren’t you, Akechi-kun?”

“Very much so.”

“What was it like touring with them the first time?”

“Ecstatic. Incredible. There’s nothing more inspiring than being complimented by a band you’ve idolized for so long.”

“And it wasn’t intimidating or anything!” Ryuji cuts in. “Those guys are fun. There was one night we decided to play hide and seek in the venue—”

“Some of us played hide and seek,” Makoto corrects.

“—And Aigis somehow ended up hidin’ in the ceiling!”

Goro tunes out the story Ryuji’s told countless times already, his gaze wandering until it lands on Akira sitting beside him.

Which is how he learns Akira has already been staring at him for an indiscernible amount of time. Goro lifts a brow to silently ask ‘do you need something?’, only for Akira to send him a playful smirk in response.

Akira doesn’t look away afterwards. Neither does Goro.

What is he thinking about? What was he thinking about before Goro looked over and caught him staring? Surely nothing like the fictional Akira in the “slashfiction” Goro read last night. No, the real Akira wouldn’t think about—nay—fantasize about licking Goro’s ass while they’re in the middle of an interview. Certainly not like how Goro’s imagining sucking Akira’s cock in the middle of an interview.

…Wait, what?! Goro’s not imagining such a thing! He’s not thinking about how easy it would be to slot between Akira’s spread legs and how slightly less easy it would be to pull him out of his extremely tight pants. To sink his lips around the thick girth and completely melt into it while the interview continues like there’s nothing out of the ordinary. This is one of Goro’s many pre-show rituals, Akira would brush it off, having to answer in Goro’s stead while his mouth is currently preoccupied.

No, Goro’s not thinking about anything like that at all.

“—question is from leatherbutterfly from Osaka! Are you guys aware of the slashfiction written about you? And have you ever read any?”

That snaps Goro back to reality.

“Oh, we’re aware,” Makoto says through a strained breath.

“Particularly about these two.” Ryuji points at Akira and Goro sitting in front of him.

Goro narrows his eyes. “I’d prefer if people used their writing talents in more productive ways.”

“That means you’ve read some of it?”

“Of course not. It’s a breach of privacy that I refuse to engage with. But I’m not going to delude myself into assuming it’s all badly written garbage.”

“I’ve dabbled,” Akira says casually, as casually as conversing about the weather, and Goro almost breaks his neck snapping his gaze in his direction. He’s… dabbled? What does that mean? That he’s read this badly written garbage on purpose? And continues to read this badly written garbage?

“Care to elaborate?”

“The fans come up with some interesting stuff,” Akira chuckles. “I mean, why would I not want to read a story where Goro is my college professor? I never went to college. I gotta learn somewhere.”

Goro continues to stare in horror. What kind of stories has he read?! Is it anything like the perverted filth Goro has stumbled upon? Akira doesn’t think he’s as much of a slut as the fans make him out to be, does he?!

“It’s entertaining,” Akira concludes. “And if the fans want to express their creativity in this way, I say let them.”

Has he completely lost his mind? There’s nothing creative about Goro taking dick down his throat!

It dawns on Goro then, a horrible sinking feeling that makes him want to crawl into a hole and suffer a slow and painful death. Does Akira purposefully play up the flirting to rile up the fans? Every touch, every whisper, every soft grin sent his way—was it all real? Or was it meant for the cameras, only to end up in a compilation about their supposed “secret relationship”? Akira is subscribed to that ridiculous “JokerCrow” community, and this isn’t the first time he’s confessed to reading “slashfiction” about the two.

Goro stays quiet. Akira is a drama queen, someone who puts on an ‘all publicity is good publicity’ front. (Though Goro knows that’s not always true, as Akira does anything in his power to avoid coming across like an asshole to anyone who doesn’t deserve it). He might genuinely get a kick out of this fantasy relationship the fans vouch for. The attention, the hilarity of it all, the thrill.

Because if he actually felt that way about Goro, why would he want to read this fictional bullshit instead of making it real?

“Those rumors— Do they hold any weight to them?” the interviewer asks. “There’s not something going on between the two of you, is there?”

“So what if there was?” Goro snaps. “No one should be this invested in a relationship they’re not involved in.”

“Now now, honey, put your claws away.” Akira reaches over to rest a hand over Goro’s own, and Goro sees red. The touch burns him knowing the camera is right there capturing the whole thing, knowing the fans are going to clip it and ship it as soon as they get their hands on this interview. “Sometimes people are so similar they can’t help but be drawn to one another. It physically hurts to be away from them.”

Akira looks directly at Goro as he finishes his spiel, his gaze heavy with fondness.

“We’re soulmates.”

Goro can’t believe what he’s witnessing. Never in a million years did he think Akira would stoop this low. This… This asshole! How dare he toy with Goro’s emotions like this?!

Forget anything Goro thought about sucking his dick. Akira should consider himself lucky if Goro doesn’t rip it straight off.

“Next question is for Ann-chan! Your pink ombre is so iconic! But do you think you’d ever change it up and dye it a different color in the future?”

Goro Akechi (murdercrow) wrote,
@ 2006-05-05 4:39:21

Current mood: Betrayed

Current music: Sending Postcards From a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) ♪

Entry tags: Diary

Staring down the heart of the shower drain as the last five years are bled dry

Your artificial touch makes me sick to my stomach.

I will bite the hand that attempts to feed me. What fucking excuse for nourishment is this anyway? I’ve wasted so much of my time playing this game. I’d say I’ve wasted yours too, but you only have yourself to blame. For one thousand and one nights I’ve been fooled by plastic hearts and dog bites. Is this karma? Or did the universe decide to bitch-slap me for the thrill of it?

I asked a tailor to stitch my torn heart back together, but they said they don’t have the right materials for this kind of damage. I was addicted to the lies you drugged me with, until there came a time where I couldn’t stomach it anymore. I wish I could hate you.I wish I could wish the worst on you.But all I am is numb.

See you in another life.

Or not.

Normally Goro hates how quickly tour flies by. There’s nothing he loves more than life on the road—the rush of being on stage, the inspiration of travelling across the world, having an excuse to spend every waking moment with his best friend. But at this particular moment in time, he can’t fucking wait for it to be over.

While Goro’s been avoiding Akira at all costs, he’s been indulging in “slashfiction” every night, whether it’s after a show or a night off in a hotel room. He’s read so much, in fact, that he’s developed a certain taste. He never reads “alternative universe” stories, save for a few that sound particularly intriguing. Like a story in which he and Akira are roommates who slowly but surely fall in love.

But for the most part Goro avoids those odd “non-canon compliant” stories. He’s lost count of the strange plots he’s had to scroll past. Roleplays where Goro dresses as a schoolgirl, male pregnancy, something called ‘omegaverse.’ Stories where Goro shoots Akira in the head, them getting married in the distant future, the two hooking up after winning best new band at the Young Artist Of Industry awards. It’s just too unrealistic! Nothing happened that night. They celebrated winning their first YAOI, partied a little too hard before Goro inevitably… passed out in Akira’s apartment. But it’s not like anything happened that night!

These stories have nothing to do with reality, so Goro doesn’t bother giving them a click. “Slashfiction” is already hard enough to believe, Goro needs something he can at least latch onto.

…Not that Goro’s imagining any of these stories actually taking place.

If he and Akira were to ever kiss, it would be something quick and forgettable. A challenge in an interview, or a game of spin the bottle on the bus. Or even an accident on stage, where Goro goes in for a kiss on the cheek and Akira turns his head at the last moment just to see Goro’s reaction. And the fans’ reaction, because that’s apparently all he cares about.

Goro sighs. Akira’s words from that interview continue to plague his thoughts. Every action becomes overanalyzed. Is Akira touching him because he wants to? Or is it simply to fuel the delusion of the shippers? Why would Akira want to touch him otherwise?

Sure, Akira acts the same way behind closed doors—maybe even a little more amped up. But Goro assumes it’s because he’s grown used to putting on an act and forgets to turn it off.

So Goro uses these fantasy stories to cope. He pretends there’s really a world where Akira wants to touch him for the sake of touching him. In a friend way, of course.

Tonight’s story of choice is certainly nowhere near the sphere of realism Goro craves, but the summary caught Goro’s attention anyway. He should be allowed to suspend his belief for once. As a treat.

title: I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake
author: lexxus
rating: NC-17
fandom: the phantoms
pairing: joker/crow
summary: jokercrow’s sex tape leaks, courtesy of a classic akira fuck up
tags: bottom goro
A/N: inspired by all the times crow has nagged joker not to leak shit (i know youve all seen the compilation XD)
disclaimer: nope,nope,nope dont own anything. dont come for me lawyers >:(

Yes, Goro was hooked as soon as he read the words sex tape. Yes, it’s unlikely for Akira and Goro to ever engage in intercourse. But maybe Akira would be willing if it was on camera. To rile up the fans.

Goro takes one more look around before opening the link. It’s late and they’re in the middle of nowhere, the bus common area empty with the rest of the band sound asleep in their bunks (Goro has had some difficulty sleeping in his own since reading about that fictional jerk off session). Goro is free to read filthy degenerate porn about him and his best friend in peace.

It’s decent. His only critique is his character being just a bit too whiny, but he has no gauge of reference as to how he’d react if his sex tape was actually leaked. The story is just believable enough. Akira decided to record them performing sexual acts for sentimental value, and he accidentally sent the video to a tabloid magazine. Goro doesn’t even know why Akira was emailing them in the first place. Usually their management handles stuff like that.

Fictional Goro is currently pacing back and forth in Akira’s living room, while fictional Akira is casually splayed across his couch, as though nothing is out of the ordinary.

“It’s not even that bad,” Akira says in an attempt at comfort. It doesn’t help. Goro turns to look at him with an incredulous/murderous look.

“Of course you wouldn’t think it’s bad. You’re not even in the video. I’m the one with my ass plastered all over the internet!”

“Yeah, but you were moaning my name like crazy. Clearly I was involved in some capacity.”

Goro can’t help but find his fictional self to be something of a coward. He wouldn’t have hesitated to punch Akira right in the face, whether he was sleeping with him or not.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Akira. Any mention of you is about how monstrously big your dick is. You made it out of this unscathed!”

“You think it’s easy to hear that stuff? I’m being objectified!”

“Didn’t you just say it’s not that bad? I’m the one who looks like a cockslut, cumdump, dumbfuck whore in that video. I think I know a thing or two about being objectified.”

“No one is judging you, Goro. All the posts I’ve seen are praising you for being able to take a cock so big.”

“Oh, they are absolutely judging me. No one will be able to look at the two of us again without thinking about that video. We’re going to be harassed for an eternity! When’s the sequel coming out? Any plans to get bred like a bitch tonight, Goro?”

“I don’t think you’re realizing how good of an opportunity this is for us, babe. The video is fucking hot. It makes our band even cooler than we already are.”

“Cool? What’s so cool about having your face shoved in the mattress while your bandmate tells you how tight your pussy is?”

“Are you—”

“Are you still reading?”

Akira’s voice cuts into the bus common area, causing Goro to jump from the sudden intrusion.

“Reading?! I’m not— I mean—!” Goro clears his throat to steady himself. “I’m reading a published novel by a renowned author, yes. What are you doing up?”

“Wanted a midnight snack. Or a 2AM snack.” Akira chuckles as he fetches a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard, spreading it across a piece of bread. “That book must be good if you’re sacrificing your beauty sleep.”

“Or I just wanted to read at a time when Ryuji’s childish screaming wouldn’t disturb me.”

“I’m not disturbing you, am I?”

You absolutely are.

“Not at all,” Goro lies. Akira sees right through it, given away by the laugh that bursts out of him.

“Don’t worry, tour will be over before you know it, and you’ll be back to the peace and quiet of your apartment.”

My empty, depressing apartment that only feels lively when you’re around. Goro pushes that thought down. Maybe Akira would visit more often if there was a camera constantly livestreaming their interactions to the fans.

“But as of right now, you’re stuck with me.” Akira sends him a soft smile that feels too damn real to be fake. He puts his sandwich together, takes a bite, and plops down next to Goro on the couch. “Sho what’sh this book about?”

Goro doesn’t nag him for talking with his mouth full. He’s a bit too busy slamming his laptop shut before Akira can realize what it is he’s reading.

Akira swallows his mouthful of sandwich. “What was that?”

“I, um.” What was that? How can Goro even explain what he just did? “Spoilers..?”

“Spoilers?” Akira echoes, amusement evident in his voice. “Goro, honey. I respect your taste in literature, but I’m not going to read this book.”

“It would just… sound weird out of context.”

“When has that ever bothered me?”

God, why does he have to be so stubborn?

“Aha… I think the exhaustion is starting to hit me. Maybe I should—”

A hand on his wrist stops him from leaving the couch. “Goro, I’m not going to judge you for scrolling Lifejournal instead of reading a book. I feel like we’ve barely talked all week. Don’t let me interrupt your blogging time.”

…There’s really no getting out of this, is there?

Maybe if Goro angles his laptop away he can close the tab before Akira can read anything. Or he can blame it on a virus. Maybe Akira won’t even be able to see his screen. He’s not wearing his glasses this time of night. Not that he actually needs them.

Goro tries to open his laptop to a 45 degree angle so he can secretly close the tab, but he doesn’t get very far before Akira snatches it out of his hands.

“Hey—!”

“Let’s see what we’ve got here.”

“Akira, that’s private—!”

“Ha! I knew you were scrolling…”

It’s too late. Akira’s eyes are already skimming down the page, his expression morphing into something unreadable as he begins to connect the dots. Confusion, realization, and amusement combined into one quirk of the lips, until finally it bursts out into a hardy laugh.

“Goro, is this—”

“It was a misclick,” Goro tries one last time, but his heart isn’t in it. He’s already resigned himself to the ridicule and mocking he’ll receive. Perhaps even disgust, to the point of Akira walking out of his life forever.

“—Slash fiction? About us?”

Goro gulps. “That is what it looks like, yes.”

“How did you end up here..? I mean, you of all people? You hadn’t even heard of it a few weeks ago.”

“I was just… researching what fans say about us,” Goro tells a half lie. “The night I went out to sign autographs after the show, I received a lot of sweet messages. So I let curiosity get the best of me.”

“And that’s how you ended up reading about… my monstrously big dick?”

“That’s— ugh! What about you? You’ve admitted to reading this garbage too! I doubt you’ve managed to filter out everything that isn’t one hundred percent innocent!”

“Oh, I’ve read my fair share of smut, but I don’t think I’ve come across this one. Ooh, it was posted tonight,” Akira notes after briefly scrolling up. “In the JokerCrow community, no less. You’ve got good taste.”

Goro’s brain is currently short circuiting. “You’ve read smut?”

“Plenty. The omegaverse ones are the best.”

“Eugh. People actually read those?”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” Akira sends him a wink before turning his attention back to the screen. “‘You think it’s easy to hear that stuff?’” he reads in his best Akira impression. Which, unsurprisingly, is his own voice taken down to a deeper octave. “‘I’m being objectified!’”

Goro blinks in disbelief as Akira reads the story aloud. Is he… making fun of Goro? Attempting to comfort him by making an even bigger fool out of himself?

After a beat of silence, Akira stage whispers, “That’s your line.”

“I’m not reading porn with you. Especially not porn about us.”

“Oh, but you were perfectly fine reading it alone? Come on, Goro, play with me here.”

Ugh, don’t say that at a time like this. Is this his punishment? Admitting to his sins like a church confessional.

“‘“Didn’t you just say it’s not that bad?’” Goro reads in a monotonous voice. “‘I’m the one who looks like…’” He sighs, a great big wounded sigh. “‘A cockslut, cumdump, dumbfuck whore in that video. I think I know a thing or two about being objectified.’”

Akira giggles. Giggles! “‘No one is judging you, Goro. All the posts I’ve seen are praising you for being able to take a cock so big.’”

He bumps Goro on the shoulder like this is an inside joke between friends. Goro hopes their bus erupts into flames and kills them all.

“‘Oh, they are absolutely judging me,’” he continues in the most robotic, unamused tone. “‘No one will be able to look at the two of us again without thinking about that video. We’re going to be harassed over it for an eternity. 'When’s the sequel coming out? Any plans to get bred like a bitch tonight, Goro?' As if the shit the fans say to me isn’t bad enough already.”

Goro adds the last part on his own accord, adding a little extra flare, because that’s what he would say in this moment. If his and Akira’s sex tape really leaked.

Akira looks at him with a smirk, like he’s sooo pleased Goro is finally getting into it.

“‘I don’t think you’re realizing how good of an opportunity this is for us, babe. The video is fucking hot. It makes our band even cooler than we already are.”

“‘Cool? What’s so cool about having your face shoved in the mattress while your bandmate tells you how tight your…pussy is?’”

“‘Are you saying you haven’t seen it?’”

They finally reach the line where Goro stopped after being so rudely interrupted. This is uncharted territory.

“‘Of course not. I’m not the one who has a special video camera just to record porn of us.’”

“In truth that’s a lie. While Goro doesn’t have his own porn video camera, he has stolen Akira’s and synced the videos on his laptop, which he then burnt onto DVDs for future use.”

Akira reads the narration out loud, which is odd considering it’s from Goro’s perspective. Not that Goro is eager to voice this garbage anyway.

“Of course he deletes the files after the fact to ensure nothing lands in the hands of any outsiders. Endeavors which can now be considered fruitless.”

Goro shakes his head. “I would not burn our sex tapes onto DVDs.”

“Though, it’s not a lie that Goro hasn’t seen this particular video. It’s new, filmed over the past weekend in Goro’s luxurious bed, his mountain of pillows likely visible in the background. It’s so new, in fact, Goro hasn’t had a chance to steal Akira’s camera and upload the videos to his laptop. The leak has made him entirely adverse to wanting to watch it. The anxiety of Sae inevitably calling them into her office to give them a talk is eating him alive.”

Akira switches to his Akira impersonation voice. “‘Babe, I’m telling you, this is good for us. It’s good for the band. Have you seen what people are saying about us?’”

Goro speaks through gritted teeth. “‘I’d like to refrain from reading anything online for at least the next six months, thank you.’”

“‘Then let’s watch it.’”

“‘Are you insane? At a time like this?’”

“‘What better time than the present?’”

“‘This isn’t the time to jerk off, Akira! Any moment now Sae is going to call us. We could get fired!’”

“‘Fired from our own band?’”

“‘From our label!’”

“‘You’re stressing too much. Let’s relax a bit, okay? Take a breath. Unwind.’”

“‘By watching porn?’”

“‘I think it would do good to form your own opinion.’”

Don’t do it, Goro thinks to his fictional self. I can’t react to you reacting to porn with my best friend. I can’t!

“Goro bites his lip as he considers his options. There's not much else he can do beyond tearing his hair out as he waits for his impending doom. Perhaps watching himself get fucked by his boyfriend will ease his nerves.

“It’s better to bite the bullet so he knows what he’s getting himself into. It would be unprofessional to go into the meeting blind. The meeting about him getting railed by Akira’s big dick, which is now visible for the entire world to peruse.

“Goro resolves himself and takes a seat next to Akira on the couch.”

“‘Fine.’”

“‘Yeah?’”

“‘Fucking play it. Not like it should be difficult to find.’”

Akira grins at Goro’s side, so hot Goro can nearly feel it searing against his skin. “‘Eager, are we?’”

“‘Do I look eager to you?’” Goro points to his lips drawn into a thin line.

“‘You look pretty hot and bothered to me.’”

Goro rolls his eyes when Akira bumps his shoulder.

“Nevertheless, Akira takes pity on Goro and hits play on the video on his laptop. It’s not from an article on BMZ or Gailey Mail, but from Akira’s personal folder. Likely the same exact file he happened to leak.

“The video doesn’t start with an introduction, but instead gets right into it, kicking off in the midst of the action. Goro is pressed against his mattress in doggy style while Akira films his hips slapping against his ass, collecting a constant string of girly moans from the Phantoms’ lead singer below.”

Goro scoffs. “‘How is this supposed to make us look cool again?’”

“‘Shh, just watch.’”

“And watch Goro does, but not without narrowing his eyes as his onscreen self gets pounded into oblivion. The camera captures Akira’s hand tangling into his hair before yanking his torso upward, Goro’s back curling into a perfect arch.”

“‘See how flexible you are?’”

“Akira’s words are whispered into Goro’s ear, but Goro never takes his eyes away from the screen. Akira’s strokes become long and slow, but all the more forceful, nearly pulling his cock all the way out before slamming right back in. Fucking show off. It’s like he did it just to show the camera how big his dick really is.

“This is what the entire world has seen. Goro moaning like a bitch and being yanked around like a ragdoll, his ass making the wettest, sloppiest sounds around Akira’s cock. His insides clench around nothing as he relives the memory. He remembers exactly how it felt in the moment when Akira shoved him down against the mattress, his black painted fingernails splayed against Goro’s lower back. Goro’s head is turned so his profile is visible to the camera, his sweaty, flushed face providing proof that it’s really him. Though his tattoos did a decent job at that already.

“They’ve had sex since this video was filmed—last night included. But since the leak was announced this morning, there’s yet to be any sexual activity between the two. It’s the longest dry spell they’ve had in a while, and it’s weighing on Goro. Waking up without Akira’s cock is like giving up coffee, and the effects are clearly starting to weigh on him.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Goro snaps. “Do they think I’m incapacitated? I’ve survived without your dick for this long!”

“You’ve survived, but are you really living?”

Goro stares at Akira like he’s grown two heads. Akira continues reading;

“And Akira notices the way Goro squirms on the couch, the way his pulse grows faster, nearly in sync with the clap of Akira’s hips hitting his ass. Akira’s fingers brush down his forearm until they’re interlaced with Goro’s own, bringing his hand to his lips.”

“‘See what I mean?’” he purrs, low and seductive. “‘We’re fucking hot, Goro. The world deserves to see it.’”

“Akira presses a kiss to the back of Goro’s palm—”

Akira presses a kiss to the back of Goro’s palm, and Goro looks at him like he’s a math problem he can’t seem to solve.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting into character.”

“Akira—”

“—before lowering Goro’s hand down to the growing bulge in his pants.”

Before he lowers Goro’s hand down to the growing bulge in his pants. Goro’s frozen. Akira is hard—how Goro didn’t notice the (extremely) obvious erection is beyond him—and something stirs deep in Goro’s core. His fingers move on their own, just a small twitch against Akira’s pajama pants, but it’s enough to make Akira hum a contented sound.

“‘It’s okay, sweetheart.’” His lips are right against Goro’s earlobe, his breath hot and weirdly comforting, like a blanket Goro wants to cocoon around himself. “‘I know you want to.’”

His nose bumps against Goro’s cheek like a cat on the hunt for affection. Goro’s eyes blur as he attempts to read his next line.

“‘Sae could call at any minute—’”

“‘Let her leave a voicemail.’”

Akira’s fingers turn Goro’s head, and their lips meet in a hungry blend of open mouths and searching tongues. Well, Akira is hungry. Goro is shell-shocked while Akira licks into his mouth like he’s trying to reach his vocal chords. He was not expecting this. Why is Akira kissing him? He’s not secretly recording this so the fans can add it to their ship compilations, right?

No, Akira wouldn’t do such a thing. And when he grinds Goro’s hand down on his crotch, the hard cock beneath the fabric is too real for this to be a ruse.

So Goro kisses Akira, and he lets himself be kissed by Akira. He kisses Akira like it’s exactly what he was programmed to do, because the warm weight of his best friend’s tongue against his own feels right. They meet each other lick for lick, just like best friends—nay, soulmates—should. He paws at Akira’s hair to deepen the kiss, and when he presses his palm against Akira’s bulge it’s entirely by his own volition.

The laptop goes forgotten, falling off Goro’s lap and onto the floor with the Lifejournal slashfic still open. Akira and Goro are in a constant tug-of-war as they try to pull each other closer—by the hair, by the shirt. Goro couldn’t hold back his moans if he wanted to. Maruki can probably hear him from the front of the bus. Hell, people driving by in cars outside can probably hear them.

Akira’s shirt is the first to go before Goro’s follows suit. The cool air on his nipples brings a new layer of excitement to the kiss. He absentmindedly leans into Akira’s body, desperate to feel some kind of friction on his chest.

And it comes soon enough, but not in the way Goro expected. It happens so fast, it takes Goro’s hazy brain an embarrassingly long time to catch up. The world flips, and his chest is pressed against the pleather fabric of the couch. His lips tingle from being so thoroughly kiss-bitten, and he moans like a stupid slut for a lack of something better to do.

“You have no idea how tempting these little shorts are,” Akira growls as his fingers hook beneath Goro’s waistband. “Every night on the bus, in hotel rooms, in your apartment I have to watch you prance around in what’s basically panties.”

He yanks Goro’s sleep shorts midway down his thighs, and Goro has multiple revelations as his ass is revealed to Akira’s hungry eyes and watering mouth. First: that’s not one of his lines in the fic. Second: Akira clearly isn’t doing this for the satisfaction of the fans. Third: maybe that fic written from Akira’s perspective wasn’t all that inaccurate after all.

“They’re not panties,” Goro retaliates, a newfound smugness arising knowing how eager Akira is for him, and only him. “If you want to see me in women’s underwear, you’ll have to ask nicely.”

But that smugness doesn’t last long. Akira pounces on him like a mountain lion on roadkill, diving in nose first and releasing a pleased sigh as soon as he has Goro’s ass in his mouth. Goro lurches, not just from the movement of the bus, but from the force of Akira’s tongue pushing him deeper into the couch. It’s hot and wet, and Goro squeezes his eyes shut as his hole is eaten. He swears this is the most confused boner he’s ever had in his life.

For some reason beyond his comprehension… it feels good. The swipe of Akira’s tongue piercing opening him up is a brand new type of heaven.

“Seriously?” he mutters, exasperated, mostly to himself. “You actually want to do this?”

Akira is so caught up in his licking, Goro doesn’t expect him to actually answer.

“I’ve been fucking dying to.” His lips brush Goro’s rim with every word, and Goro resists his instinct to slam his ass back against his mouth. “Watching you shake your ass on stage is too tempting. I’ve nearly dropped to my knees just to use it as a pillow.”

Goro’s lips hang open as he takes in Akira’s (maybe a little too honest) confession. But it’s not long before Akira’s diving back in for seconds, and Goro’s open mouth sings with a choppy moan. He can barely wrap his head around Akira having a crush on him, let alone Akira wanting to eat his ass.

Wait, crush? Who said anything about that? Just because Akira is on his knees behind him, worshipping his hole with open-mouth kisses, doesn’t mean he has a crush. Mouthing at Goro’s ass like it’s a kiss during their wedding ceremony doesn’t have anything to do with Akira’s feelings.

“You’re thinking too much,” Akira chides from behind him. Dammit. He’s perceptive even when he has his face shoved between Goro’s asscheeks. “It’s not a math equation, Goro. It feels good, doesn’t it?”

And that’s when Goro is forced to face the obvious. It does feel good. Amazing, even. Akira’s tongue sends sparks through his nerve endings with every wet stroke, and his occasional moans against Goro’s rim nearly have him dripping onto the couch his cock is so wet. If Goro was a braver man, he might even admit he wanted this as much as Akira clearly does.

But he doesn’t admit that. Instead all he says is;

“Isn’t it your job to make me stop thinking?”

He feels rather than sees Akira’s grin, his final warning before Akira devours his unsuspecting hole. It’s loud and desperate, and Goro’s moans are just as debauched. He has to slap a hand over his mouth to trap his sounds, which Akira seems to happily drink up. His low moans vibrate against Goro’s rim, painting fire up the length of his tailbone. God dammit. He should have known better than to present Akira with a challenge.

“Oh god.” Goro’s fingers curl into the cheap material of the couch, his brain blinking on and off again as Akira’s mouth works him. If he starts rocking his ass back and forth into the warm wetness, he’s not conscious of it. All he cares about is Akira licking him into a trance, Akira’s hands spread over his flesh to give his ass the occasional squeeze. Calloused and rough—the fingers Goro would expect from a guitarist.

And if Goro thought Akira was talented with his mouth, he’s not at all prepared for the first finger to breach his entrance and curl deep inside. Goro gasps, throwing his head back as his spine curves in a perfect arch. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling; he’s experimented on himself on numerous occasions (he’s the lead singer of an emo band, obviously he takes it up the ass), but having someone else’s fingers inside him—Akira’s fingers—is an entirely new sensation. He clearly lubed them up at some point, dictated by how easily he slips in a second. Where Akira got lube, Goro has no idea. Maybe he had ulterior motives when he claimed he was craving a midnight snack.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Akira moans as pumps Goro open, to which Goro scoffs.

“No shit. I’m not having a train run on me every night, Akira.”

Akira smirks despite being berated. “Still, it’s the tightest pussy I’ve ever felt.”

Goro narrows his eyes at the supposed compliment. He wasn’t aware he had that much competition.

Akira seems to catch on to his line of thinking, adding a third finger to soothe him. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you, Goro?”

“You’re one to fucking talk. I share a hotel room with you, remember? I haven’t exactly noticed you bringing strangers back in all the months we’ve been touring.”

Akira’s chuckle is low, deep. “Perceptive.”

He removes his fingers once he deems Goro prepped enough. He makes a swift effort to push down his pajama pants, revealing the thick, leaking boner he miraculously kept contained in there.

The massiveness of it just makes Goro even angrier.

“And don’t act like you’re taking people home when we’re not touring. I know how Morgana behaves around strangers. I was a stranger once—”

“You’re right,” Akira cuts him off, lubing up his obnoxiously big dick with his slicked hand. “Things changed when I fell in love with you.”

“When… What..?”

Goro isn’t given much time to comprehend this, as Akira is immediately lining up his cock and slamming inside, the two of them moaning in unison when he bottoms out.

“None of them compared to you, even if I tried to pretend.” Akira’s voice is strained as he adjusts to the tightness around him, his grip bound to leave bruises on Goro’s hips. “It’s only you.”

His first thrust is slow and cautious, as though trying to keep himself from bursting right then and there. Goro doesn’t blame him. The sheer weight of Akira’s cock inside him has him feeling like he might explode.

At least he can say he’s seen it now, if an interviewer asks if they’ve seen each other naked. Though he likely won’t be telling the story of how he saw it any time soon.

“Sap,” is how he responds to Akira’s confession. Not that he’s any better. He’s been saving himself for Akira his entire life, whether he was conscious of it or not. His best friend. His soulmate.

Akira’s groan sears across Goro’s skin as he picks up the pace, a steady drag of his cock hitting deep inside Goro’s walls, breaking him in. He sounds fucking beautiful letting his moans ring out like that, having zero care in the world for their sleeping bandmates who could walk in on them at any moment. How will Goro ever listen to Akira sing without replaying these moans in his mind? How will he ever listen to him speak?

It’s mindnumbing, the constant hammering of Akira’s cock inside him. Rough and relentless, and Goro wants nothing more than to give into it entirely. He can’t let this be a one time thing, not when it feels like he’s fully complete for the first time in his life. Bruises and hickeys fade, but Goro wants forever.

“How could I not love you?” Akira rasps between strokes. His hips are moving with a mind of their own, chasing after Goro’s inviting heat. “You sing like an angel. You’re the best writer I know—”

He pauses to hiss a sharp breath, and Goro can only crane his head to watch. It’s hypnotizing; Akira’s throat exposed as he tilts his head back, the sight of his hips battering against Goro’s ass.

“—And your ass is fucking fat as hell.”

Goro snorts, but it seems Akira isn’t done.

“Your thighs, your hips. Fuck, Goro. Do you have any idea what it was like to be a hormonal teenager watching you strut around on stage?”

Oh. The fans were right. Akira really does get boners when he’s performing.

“I know,” Goro croaks. He still has his head turned, meeting Akira’s gaze when he blinks his eyes open. “Why else did you think I did it?”

Akira moans like he’s still that hormonal teenager deep down.

Then, with a renewed vigor, Akira blankets over Goro’s back and fucks him like he’s been wanting to for years. He moves his hips like a performance, a choreographed dance he knows like the back of his hand, and Goro’s brain turns to static when Akira hits that sweet spot inside him, slamming into him over and over without daring to give him a break. Goro clutches up tight around him, desperate to give as good as he takes. His face falls helplessly against the couch, and his ass is only kept in the air thanks to Akira’s grip propping him up. His legs lost their strength a while ago, all but lifeless around Akira’s cock save for the needy clench of his walls.

“Gonna come inside you.” Akira’s voice is right in Goro’s ear, and all Goro can do is nod. “Hold still and take it, princess.”

Goro’s close—so fucking close he can taste fucking metal in his mouth, and it’s ripped from his body when Akira finally gives it to him. He shakes violently as he’s smashed into the couch, his eyes rolling into pure whiteness. Untouched. Akira made him come untouched.

And it doesn’t take Akira much longer to catch up. His hands are desperately roaming Goro’s torso for purchase, black nails digging into his sides, cupping over his tits and sending another shockwave through Goro’s tummy. He’s moaning like a damn whore in Goro’s ear, and his teeth clamp down on Goro’s shoulder when it finally happens. Heat spills into his torn insides as Akira fills him up, fucking cum in and out of him with a few more lazy thrusts. Eventually they collapse on the couch as one, sticky and sweaty and completely negating the rigorous skincare routine Goro performed before bed.

Goro would marry him if he asked.

“Keep it in,” he demands, not that Akira had any intention of pulling out any time soon. It’s a warm comfort neither of them are willing to give up just yet.

Akira dips his head down to swipe his tongue over the tip of Goro’s nose. “Better than all those slashfics, huh?”

Goro hums happily as he nuzzles into the couch. “Yeah.” Only for realization to hit him like a truck, “I mean— I’ve only read the one.”

“Goro, I know you don’t read books online. You’re way too pretentious for that.”

“Pretentious?! Who do you think you’re talking to?”

“And it’s not like you go out of your way to hide your screen. Or your mutterings about something being out of character.”

Oh. Goro didn’t realize he said any of that out loud.

“I can explain.”

Akira’s laugh is warm against Goro’s back. “There’s no need. As I said, the real thing is so much better, isn’t it?”

Goro can’t fight his body’s urge to squeeze around Akira’s cock one more time, still impossibly hard inside him. “I suppose.”

“Besides, we could get some good ideas from the fans. I might have to invest in a new video camera soon.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Come on, it would just stay between us.”

“Oh, where have I heard that before?”

Their bickering leads to a few playful smacks, which leads to hair pulling, which of course leads to another round of sex on the bus couch they’ve already thoroughly defiled. They really shouldn’t tell anyone about this. God knows the band would demand a whole new bus after learning what occurred that night.

Goro Akechi (murdercrow) wrote,
@ 2006-07-10 11:42:09

Current mood: Content

Current music: Seaside Rendezvous ♪

Entry tags: Diary

To Akira, Ann, Makoto, Ryuji, and the fans: I can’t thank you enough for bringing my dream to life. Tour was fucking incredible. I get to see the world with my face shoved against shower tiles, my wrists handcuffed to bedposts, my ribs pressed against the window of a five-star hotel. My robe discarded on hardwood floors and calloused hands claiming my hips like a trophy. I can’t wait to sing for you again.

I’m not ready to give up on tour life. My place, 8PM?