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Gerards head rested on Rays soft chest, admiring the beautiful, just barely bright stars that littered the dark, blue, cloudy, night sky. The loud music from the house party made it all the way to the backyard, where the two confided in each other's warmth. It was always like this. Gerard and Ray, and Ray and Gerard. Just them against the world.
One star in particular shined brightly in the sky, partially hidden behind clouds. Yet, even with it being shunned away, it still overpowered and glimmered beautifully.
The night progressed, the two boys comfortable in eachothers presence. No one had to say anything, it was comfortable, it was great, it was natural. It was....perfect.
Gerard noticed the clouds slowly move away, letting the star from earlier shine even more. He saw another one be revealed with the shining star though, one equally as bright. It wasn't as big, but it definitely stood out with the other big star.
To Gerard, it reminded them of....him and Raymond, for some reason.
Then it hit, Ray is going to be gone after tonight. They won't see eachother in years. A small pit grew in his stomach, a tiny sense of dread. He wouldn't know Rays number for a while, they wouldn't be in contact. They'd be...separated.
After the longest time of being together, joined at the hip, doing everything with eachother, they'll be parted. They wouldn't see eachother.
He wouldn't be able to see Ray. He won't able to see his beautiful smile, his stupid little laugh, his dumb jokes, his awesome guitar riffs, his-....well, him. He won't be in the presence of the one he loved dearly.
What if they never saw eachother again? What if Ray would forget about him?
It made him realize, it was now or never. If he didn't confess right now, he probably wouldn't get the possibility to do it ever. His sober self would brush it off, it could ruin their friendship if Ray didn't accept and would actually come back one day and they saw eachother.
His drunk self had the opposite thinking. Thinking Raymond would never come back. Jersey sucks, especially their town. Why would he decide to come back?
It wasn't time to think about that though, it was time to think about....well what was there to think about? Any logical thoughts were out the window when it came to drinking.
Why not just do it? Show Ray the love he desperately held for him for over a decade.
Ray deserved it anyways, he was kind, humble, and just an overall good dude. He deserved to be loved. He deserved to know that he was loved.
So, in the heat of the moment, Gerard decided to stop being a pussy, and just do it. Confess his feelings for his bestfriend.
"Ray, if I confessed something to you, would you stop being my friend?" Gerard slurred and stared up at Ray, trying to study his expression as he processed the words. He was clearly drunk. And when he was drunk, he said things he'd never admit sober. Most of the things he's admitted to Ray were never brought up again, either from sheer embarrassment of Gerard saying something in such an intoxicated state to Ray, or that he forgot to told Ray.
"Well, it depends...? Did you murder someone?" Ray chuckled, wondering what the hell Gerard could possibly confess that'd be this bad. Most of the time Gerard would blurt it out without thinking, or would go up to Ray and whisper it in his ear and then pretend nothing had happened. This was new.
"No...but I think you won't like what I'll tell you.." Gerard mumbled, clearly nervous.
"Dude, you're freaking me out. Did you like murder someone ? You're acting weird" Ray tried to avoid Gerards eyes, his eyebrows knitting as his concerned raised.
"No I just-....Dude, I love you." Gerard continued to look at Ray, hoping their eyes would lock again.
"....That's it? Dude, I love you too, don't worry about it. You're like, the best dude in the world. What had you so worked up about that?" Ray looked back at Gerard, letting out a breathless giggle. Gerard didn't laugh though. He seemed dead serious.
"No, Ray like....I love you. Like.." He paused briefly, taking in a deep breath before quickly bringing his face up and closer to Rays, and giving him a peck on the lips. The kiss ended as quickly as it started, Gerard pulling away and letting go of Rays face to see his reaction.
Ray sat there, dumbfounded and flustered. He didn't really know what to do. The kiss brought back feelings he forgot he had. Feelings he had hid away, for a very, very long time. Ones he had suppressed. Surely Gerard was pranking him, right? He knew Gerard liked dudes....but him? He wasn't even a real dude. Or, something like that. He was some sort of transvestite guitarist amalgamation of sorts.
He swallowed the lump that was in his throat and looked back into Gerards eyes. This was his chance...right? He could finally he happy with Gerard. He could cancel his flight, move in with Gerard, be happy. All it took was a few words....a few simple words-
"Uhm...I need to go. I uh....I gotta wake up early for my flight tomorrow."
Dammit Toro! Are you an idiot? You had the chance right infront of you!