Archive of Our Own

After all this time, the adoption has finally been finalized. 

Himeko and Kafka had actually started looking into various ways to have a child together almost 2 years ago, and after heavily considering various options, everything from IVF to a sperm donor, they eventually settled on adoption, deciding it would be the best option for starting their family together.

And now, after 11 long months of waiting, and going through the whole process of contacting an agency, completing a home study, submitting the application, waiting to be selected, and finally, finally meeting her, they were driving to the adoption center for the last time.

Himeko was over the moon, and she couldn't be happier. After half a decade of being married to Kafka, having a child was the natural next step they had decided they both wanted to take, and now it was really happening. Really, truly happening.

She hasn't seen this big of a smile on Kafka's face in years, if ever, and in this moment, as Kafka drives them to the agency while practically beaming from happiness, Himeko thinks she has never looked more beautiful than in this moment.

Luckily, the pre-adoption visits had all gone incredible. Her and Kafka had bonded with Stelle almost immediately, and her heart was full of love for the curious little girl, who always seemed to have questions to ask and games she wanted to play and things she wanted to explore. She’s definitely going to be a handful, that's for sure. However…despite how happy an occasion it is, Himeko is also terrified .

After all, Stelle is pretty old already. She's already lived through and experienced 6 years of memories, and has her own personality, interests, favorite foods, and so many other things that Himeko desperately longs to know about her child that she knows absolutely nothing about. So far, the most she knows about the little girl is that she adores raccoons, has a strange fascination with trash cans, loves to color, and hates vegetables. And that's not exactly much to go off of.

What if she's a bad mom? What if the honeymoon phase wears off and Stelle ends up hating her and Kafka both, or worse, hating just one of them? It's summer right now, but what about when she starts school in the fall? What if she gets bullied, or doesn't make any friends, or struggles with her subjects, or-

“You're doing it again, aren't you?” Kafka asks, glancing over at Himeko with a gentle smile. “You're overthinking this.”

“You know me far too well.” Himeko says with a fond roll of her eyes, and she sighs and nods. “What else am I supposed to do besides overthink? This is a big day, after all.”

“Well, 5 years of marriage is nothing to scoff at. There's a reason I know you so well.” Kafka pauses for a moment, and then she brings her hand that isn't on the steering wheel to rest on Himeko's thigh, gently caressing in a soothing motion. “Try not to get too worked up, okay Starlight? Everything will be okay. I'm sure of it.”

“What, did Elio tell you that?”

“C'mon, you know we all split up years ago. I haven't spoken to him in a few weeks, and it's usually just the routine check-ins he gives me and the others, making sure we're all still alive and kicking.”

“Yeah yeah, I know. How are the others doing anyways?” Himeko asks, a warm smile on her face.

Though the Astral Express and the Stellaron Hunters used to be renowned rivals, as time went on, Himeko had grown rather fond of the “enemy” group. After all, she had married one of them. It only made sense for her to check up on her wife’s closest companions every now and then. Hell, they were basically Kafka's found family.

“Good.” Kafka replies easily, her expression shifting to one a little more nostalgic, probably recalling all her memories from her time as a Stellaron Hunter in years past. “Blade still has mara flare-ups from time to time, but he's doing better. Silver Wolf’s streams have been getting pretty popular, and she became a professional Aetherium Wars player. Firefly spends a lot of time outside, just enjoying nature, and her medicine has helped her condition improve. As for Elio, well…he's as vague as always about how he's doing. But I know he's safe, and probably very relieved now that the script is finally finished.”

Himeko hums in acknowledgement, nodding and resting her hand on top of Kafka's. “That's good.”

“Mhm. And you know what else is good?”

“What?”

“We're gonna be bringing Stelle home within the hour.”

And oh, how that thought absolutely terrifies Himeko. But it also makes her heart leap out of her chest and makes her want to jump for joy. So many conflicting feelings, and yet above all of them…peace. Peace, trusting and knowing that everything will work out.

So, she takes a deep breath, relaxes the tension in her shoulders, squeezes Kafka's hand, and reclines in her seat for the rest of the ride. It's all going to be okay.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

The first few weeks are…hard. Really hard. A lot harder than either Himeko or Kafka had anticipated. Stelle doesn’t want to eat the food she’s given. She doesn’t like bedtime. She doesn’t like wake-up time either. She doesn’t want to be held. She wants to play all the time, but as soon as she stops getting attention for 5 minutes she shuts down and refuses to acknowledge Himeko at all for the rest of the day. She treats Kafka the same. She’s a very sensitive little girl, and Himeko is really struggling. And though she doesn’t voice it aloud, Himeko can tell that Kafka is feeling disheartened too. And when Stelle gets sick at the start of week 3? Everything goes to shit.

Himeko does all she can to take care of her while Kafka works, really, she does. She makes her soup, tucks her into bed, gives her toys and coloring books and a special stuffed animal, brings her fruit juice and popsicles to help her sore throat, and plays some cartoons for her that she enjoyed as a child. (Stelle seems to like those, at least a little bit. It’s enough to get her to stop crying for a little while, if nothing else.)

It’s difficult to get Stelle to stay hydrated. It’s even more difficult to get her to take her medicine without throwing a fit. She can’t sleep through the night at all, and constantly goes into Himeko and Kafka’s room to wake one of them up, only to refuse any comfort they try to offer her. Besides the stress of it all, and feeling like she’s doing a horrible job as a new mother, it’s also extremely disheartening and honestly a little painful having Stelle be so irritable and sad all the time, especially when Kafka tries to tuck her into bed one night and Stelle screams and cries so loudly in protest that Kafka has to go outside for a smoke break to destress for the first time in years, leaving Himeko to take over with an apologetic smile.

It’s awful. And Himeko doesn’t regret the adoption for a single second, but god it does make her want to rip her hair out and just cry sometimes. But she has to be strong. She has to keep it together. After all, she chose to leave her life of travel behind and become a stay-at-home mother. She wanted this. It was her choice. But she can’t deny the desperation she has to get out of the house, the sickening feelings of wanderlust she can’t ignore. She’s going stir crazy, and she’s getting so infuriatingly close to breaking down.

And Kafka can tell. Of course she can. She can always tell when Himeko is upset, it’s simply in her nature. She’s extremely observant, and very attentive towards her loved ones, which are few and far between. And god, Kafka has been an absolute angel through all this. When Himeko has to grit her teeth and smile, clenching her fists so tightly her knuckles turn white while gently disciplining Stelle for calling her names and screaming in her face and purposefully destroying her own toys and drawing on the walls in permanent marker, Kafka smoothly intercepts before things get messy, gives Himeko a gentle kiss and squeezes her hand tightly, and somehow manages to get Stelle to calm down, giving Himeko a chance to get away and clear her head by going for a walk.

She’s pretty sure she actually couldn’t live without Kafka. She might be manipulative, and cunning, and extremely cocky, and involved in crimes Himeko doesn’t even want to know about in the years past, but she’s also everything Himeko needs in a companion. And despite their tumultuous, rocky relationship for the first several years of knowing each other, and all their petty fights and the times they almost broke up, they’re a force to be reckoned with when they set their minds to something, and after all these years together, they’re inseparable. No fights, or struggles, or pain can change the love they have for each other. Not anymore. And that includes how stressful everything with Stelle has been over these last few weeks.

It’s not Stelle’s fault that this is happening, not really. Being taken away from everything she’s ever known and being expected to listen to and treat Himeko and Kafka like her moms has to be extremely difficult for any child. Especially when she’s sick and miserable. She really is a sweet kid at heart, she’s just going through a lot right now and it’s making her lash out. And Himeko knows this of course, but it doesn’t make gentle parenting her any easier.

It’s one evening at the start of week 4 when Stelle is still sick (They’re taking her to the doctor tomorrow to make sure it’s nothing more serious than a cold, and god knows how badly that’s gonna go) that Himeko just…breaks down. It starts when she slips in bed next to a sleeping Kafka half past midnight, and starts doomscrolling through adoption forums asking if things will ever get better. The responses are varied, of course, especially depending on the age of the adopted child. Some people said things were easy after the first week, or even right off the bat. Himeko envies them desperately.

And…some people said it took months, even a year before they settled into a proper routine. And that…hurts. A lot. It’s scary. It’s scary thinking that it could take a year of all this pain before Stelle begins to settle in, and maybe even longer for her to see her and Kafka as family. Hell, it’s also possible she could never see them as her real family. And that’s even more painful.

Yes, Himeko knew the risks and complications and potential problems when she signed up for this, adopting an older child as opposed to a younger one, and not having a child that’s related to her by blood to bond with from birth. She knew when they contacted the adoption agency. She knew when they did the home study. She knew when they submitted the application. She knew when she met Stelle for the first time. But that doesn’t make it any easier.  

Himeko feels defeated. She feels like she’s failing. She feels like things will never work out. And she knows that despite the way she puts on a smile every night when she comes home, and always tries to be the peacemaker, that Kafka is just as exhausted as she is, especially since she’s going to work through all this and comes back exhausted each day.

But Himeko isn’t sure how much longer she can hold herself together. This is hard, damnit, and sometimes she wishes she was the one being held and shushed and comforted by Kafka. Not that Kafka hasn’t been tending to her own needs as well, no, quite the opposite. But they haven’t had time to go on a date or fuck or do anything special with just the two of them in a month , and Himeko is feeling very, very needy. Hell, they haven’t done anything special with Stelle either, since she’s been sick and the first two weeks were spent just getting her as adjusted as she could be in her new house.

And as she continues to doomscroll for another hour and read about the struggles of other first-time parents, especially first time adoptive and foster parents, Himeko can’t hold it in anymore. She’s never really been much of a crier, but with a shuddering breath she finds herself sniffling and holding back tears.

All she wants right now is affection from the woman right next to her who’s sleeping soundly for the first time in weeks. And Himeko feels horribly guilty waking her up when she has work in the morning and this is the longest she’s stayed asleep for at once in so long, but she needs her wife goddamnit.

With another sniffle, she sets her phone on her nightstand and rolls over, gently grabbing Kafka’s shoulder and shaking her awake.

Kafka awakes with a start, immediately sitting straight up and turning towards Himeko with a look filled with concern as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes. After all, it’s not often she gets woken up by Himeko, not unless something is seriously wrong, and she’s on full alert and overly-protective wife mode.

“Himeko? What’s wrong?” She asks, her voice quiet and raspy, the only sound in the room besides Himeko’s shuddering breaths. And as soon as she sees the tears in Himeko’s eyes, her expression falters once more and she reaches out and pulls Himeko into her lap. “Starlight…what happened?”

Himeko lets out a bitter laugh, sniffling again and trying to blink away her tears. “What hasn’t happened? Everything is shitty, Kafka. Nothing is going right at all. Stelle hates us. She’s still sick. I haven’t slept properly in weeks, and neither have you. We haven’t been on a date or had any time to ourselves in so fucking long. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of having to act like everything is okay. I’m sick of not having time to do anything I enjoy and being stuck at home all the time. I’m sick of being horny and pent up and not having any time or privacy for us to fuck. I’m sick of pretending I’m some amazing mom who knows what I’m doing when I’m just screwing everything up every damn day.” Her voice drops to a whisper, barely audible, as if she’s almost afraid to speak her next words into existence. 

“I- I miss when it was just us …”

“Oh, Himeko, darling…why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Kafka asks, and her voice is so gentle and full of love that Himeko breaks down on the spot and buries her face in her hands, letting out a choked sob. Kafka responds by holding her closer and gently running her fingers through her hair, murmuring sweet nothings and praises in her ear that make her shiver.

“I- I didn’t want to admit it out loud. That I need help. That I don’t know if I can do this. That I think I’m a bad mom. That I miss when it was just you and me. I mean, how fucking selfish is that? I’ve wanted to have a child with you for so long, and I made the decision with you to commit to raising and loving Stelle for the rest of our lives, and now…it sounds like I don’t even want her at all. And I do. I do, I swear, but it’s so damn hard and I just can’t keep going like this. I can’t do it, Kafka. It’s so hard. How the hell do you do it? How do you keep it together every day? Dealing with work, and Stelle, and me …I don’t understand how you’re managing at all.”

“Oh, love, I’m struggling too. Believe me.” Kafka says with a soft sigh, and she gives Himeko a firm squeeze as she keeps playing with her hair. “This is just as hard for me as it is for you, even if I show it differently. I can promise you that.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Himeko says quickly, sighing and burying her face in between Kafka’s breasts which makes the other woman chuckle softly. “I know you’re going through it all too. I just mean…how do you appear like you’ve got everything taken care of? I can barely keep myself together in front of Stelle, much less you or when I’m by myself. It feels impossible.”

“Well…it’s not like I know how to do anything different. For my entire life, I’ve always put on a brave face and suppressed my emotions. Hell, even after completing Elio’s script and receiving the feeling of ‘fear’ back, I still experience an incredibly subdued feeling of it compared to the average person, I’m sure.” Kafka pauses for a moment, contemplating. “But I suppose for myself, it’s a defense mechanism more than anything. If I let my guard down, if I show any weakness for even a moment, I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s how I get through each day without falling apart. If I let go of that and let myself break down…it’s not pretty, I’ll tell you that much. Hasn’t happened in years of course, not since I was young. And I’d like to keep it that way.”

Himeko nods, nuzzling her face further into Kafka’s chest and inhaling the smell of her and her perfume. Patchouli, ambergris, sandalwood, musk, leather from her favorite coat, and slight floral notes…it’s wholly and perfectly Kafka, and it’s Himeko’s favorite scent in the whole world. “Yeah, I suppose that makes sense…”

Kafka sits up a little more, removing her arms from their place wrapped around Himeko’s waist and her fingers out of her hair to remove her head from her breasts and gently cradle her face in her hands. “So what do you want to do about it, hm?”

“Huh?”

“What can I do to make this easier on you? To provide the stability and love you need while we get through this tough time together?”

Holy fuck, Kafka is seriously the sweetest in the universe to those she cares about. She’s almost unrecognizable from the obnoxious, cocky, and manipulative Stellaron Hunter she first met over a decade ago. And yet, she’s still just as playful, and flirtatious, and charming as the day Himeko first fell in love with her. 

“I…Don't know, honestly.” Himeko replies quietly, looking up at Kafka and blinking slowly, her tears long gone. Kafka returns her gaze with a look full of love and tenderness that makes her melt. She wishes this moment could last forever. Just the two of them, laying in bed together while Kafka comforts her and makes her feel loved and adored and wanted. “I want to get out of the house. I want to spend time with just you. I want Stelle to love us. And I want to make out with you, really really badly.”

Kafka chuckles softly, a small smile curving up on her lips as she leans down and presses a couple soft kisses to each of Himeko's cheeks. “Well, I can make 3 out of 4 of those things happen. What do you say we have some special time together tonight and give up on sleep, and then we spend the day together tomorrow when we're both tired as fuck?”

The idea is nice. Really nice, actually. Very appealing. Unfortunately though…there's one little issue. “But you have work…”

“I'll take the day off. Anything for you, starlight.”

“Are you sure…?”

“ Please . Of course I'm sure. It's not like we're broke , I can take one damn day off to spend time with my beautiful wife.”

Despite everything, Himeko finds herself smiling faintly at the idea. But then she remembers reality, and she frowns again. “What about Stelle? We can't just leave her alone. She's 6. ”

“We'll hire a sitter. A good one.” 

“If you're talking about the other Stellaron Hunters, I swear to god -”

“I'm not.” Kafka says with a scoff, rolling her eyes. “They couldn't take care of a child to save their lives. Except maybe Firefly, but she has her own shit to worry about. We'll get a really good babysitter. How about it?”

“But she's sick . I don't want to get a sitter sick. Besides, I've been reading a lot and the first 6 weeks minimum are some of the most important weeks to bond with a newly adopted child. I don't want to leave her with some stranger and have her get more attached to them than us, especially when she already doesn't like us right now…”

“Shh, not another word. It'll be okay, I promise . She won't bond with someone else. It's not even one full day. We’ll take her to the doctor in the morning, drop her off at home with a sitter, and be back before dinner. You're overthinking this.”

Himeko huffs. “But it's still possible -”

“Ah ah ah. Shush.”

“ Kafka -”

“Nope. Not happening.” Kafka grins and presses her index finger to Himeko's lips, immediately shutting her up. “Besides the fact that you clearly need this too, what about me? I'll have you know that I am in desperate need of some quality wife time myself, and you're not going to take that away from me just because you're anxious about what could happen. So stop complaining, and just let me have this.”

Himeko groans and rolls her eyes, but doesn't protest any further. But of course, despite her reluctant agreement, she can't help but need to have the last word. Call it a toxic trait of hers. “...Fine. But you're a bitch.”

“Okay, and you're a dick yourself.”

“Asshole.”

“ Cunt.”

“So we're just calling each other body parts now? Very mature, Kafka.”

Kafka snorts, her smile wide despite her playful retorts, and she reaches out and ruffles Himeko's hair, intentionally messing it up. “You started it. Pussy.”

“Oh my god , shut up already.”

Kafka grins . They both know where this is going, it's obvious. Hell, they've needed this and gone without for far too many weeks. “ Make me. ”

And that's how Himeko ends up wrapping her arms around Kafka's neck and practically throwing herself at the other woman, pressing her lips firmly against hers in a deep, open-mouthed kiss that lasts until they're both breathless. 

The night is long and wonderful and filled with need from weeks of pent up desires, and neither of them get a wink of sleep, to say the least.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

As wonderful as the night prior was, getting to finally satisfy her needs with Kafka, Himeko is utterly exhausted come morning. After going at it for a couple long, wonderful, sexy hours they actually do manage to go back to sleep, but of course, as is typical now, Himeko gets woken up bright and early at 5 in the morning by the sound of a crying Stelle knocking on their door and barging into their bedroom without waiting for a response. Thank goodness they put their pajamas back on before going to sleep.

Himeko sits up groggily, letting out a soft groan of frustration, but despite her sleep-deprived and aggravated state, she manages to take a deep breath and smile gently at Stelle as she gets out of bed and walks over to the little girl, kneeling down to be able to look her in the eye. “Hey, Stelle. What’s up, sweetheart?”

“Had a nightmare…” Stelle says with a sniffle, looking up at Himeko with a pleading expression, and Himeko feels a strong surge of protectiveness go through her. Ever since Stelle moved in with them, she’s been having recurring nightmares every few days. It’s awful.

“Wanna talk about it?” She asks softly, sitting down on the floor with her legs crossed, patting the spot next to her. 

“No. You’ll laugh at me…”

Himeko sighs softly, shaking her head. Unfortunately, despite the constant nightmares she’s been having, Stelle also refuses to actually tell her or Kafka what her nightmares are actually about. But it was worth a shot asking anyways. “I would never laugh at you. But it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Would you rather I distract you instead?”

Silence, for a long moment. And then, Stelle shakes her head, her voice barely above a whisper. “Nooo...I wanna tell you…”

Himeko’s eyes widen in surprise, but she quickly schools her expression to the same gentle and inviting one from before and nods. After all, she doesn’t want to freak Stelle out by seeming too eager. “Of course you can tell me. Do you want to tell Kafka too, or just me?”

“Just you.” She answers quickly, fidgeting with her hands anxiously.

“Okay. Why don’t we go to the kitchen and I’ll make you some hot chocolate and we can talk? What do you say?”

And for the first time in what feels like forever and despite her teary eyes, Stelle genuinely smiles. Not an excited, eager smile from getting what she wants or being silly, but a soft, almost shy smile. “Okay.”

And so, Himeko (who’s being extra careful not to wake Kafka) heads to the kitchen with Stelle following closely behind her, puts the kettle on the stove and begins boiling some water, and grabs some powdered hot chocolate mix from the cabinet and sets it on the table.

It doesn’t take long for the water to boil, and Stelle occupies herself by kicking her legs and twiddling her thumbs in her chair while Himeko pours in the powder mix and adds a couple fluffy marshmallows. Considering she’s still sick and just woke up from a nightmare, and the way she usually handles being sad, angry, upset, or scared, she’s doing a surprisingly good job of self-soothing, and Himeko is very grateful for it. Anything to give her a little extra peace, especially after the eventful night she’s had.

Finally, she sets two mugs down on the table, one with cocoa and one with a cup of freshly brewed espresso, and she takes a seat across from Stelle, warming her hands on the cup. “So what was your nightmare about, honey?”

Stelle immediately wrinkles her nose, taking a big sip of her cocoa before setting it back down and pouting at Himeko. “Don’t call me that. It makes me sound like a baby.”

Himeko really does have to resist the urge to chuckle at the 6 year old, but she manages to just smile and nod. “Got it. No nicknames. So, Stelle, what happened?”

Stelle frowns again, looking away from Himeko with a rather embarrassed expression. “It was stupid…”

“No it wasn’t. If it made you cry, it’s not stupid.”

The little girl fidgets with her hands some more, avoiding eye contact and taking another long sip of her drink, before she finally speaks again. “I dreamed a big scary monster tried to eat me…”

Himeko breathes a sigh of relief. As horrible as it is that Stelle is having nightmares at all, she was really worried it would be about something even more serious or even traumatic and permanently damaging. “What did the monster look like?”

“I don’t ‘member. It was big, and ugly, and had all these weird purple spots on it and one eye and it was super scary…but…”

“But what?”

“You and Kafka were there…and you didn’t try to help me.” Stelle says softly, and her lip trembles. “You watched the monster pick me up and try to eat me. And I couldn’t stop screaming, and- and you both laughed at me and called me a baby…”

Himeko feels her heart shatter. Is that really what Stelle (subconsciously or not) thinks of her and Kafka? That not only would they not protect her if she was in danger, but that they would actively laugh at and mock her while she gets hurt? That’s…that’s terrible. Himeko feels horrifically guilty all of a sudden. Is she really that bad of a mother? Has she really been so terrible that that’s what her own adoptive daughter thinks of her? She’s crushed.

But…this isn’t about Himeko’s own emotions. Not right now. What’s important in this moment is validating Stelle’s feelings, reassuring her that her nightmare would never actually happen, and trying to cheer her up so that they can both go back to bed. So she takes a deep breath, and begins to speak.

“That’s awful. I’m so sorry, Stelle…that sounds incredibly scary. I understand why you’ve been so upset these last couple weeks whenever you wake up. Is that why you haven’t told us about what your nightmares were about? Because you were afraid something like that would actually happen?”

With a sad little nod, Stelle stares down at her half-full cocoa mug, tears welling up in her eyes again that she quickly tries to wipe away. “Yeah…I didn’t want you to laugh at me…or think I was being a baby, or yell at me…”

“...Stelle, why would we ever do any of those things?”

“‘Cuz.”

“Because why?”

“‘Cuz you guys aren’t my moms. You aren’t my family…I’m not even related to you. I don’t even know anything about you except that you always smell like gross coffee.” Stelle says, and Himeko winces. Ouch. Obviously she knew that Stelle doesn’t view her as her mother, but it still hurts to actually hear it verbalized. 

And then Stelle raises her voice and begins to cry, sniffling and yelling, the beginnings of a meltdown just like the ones she’s had every day since she arrived. “I- I wanna go back home! I hate it here! I’m sick, and my throat hurts, and you and Kafka are weird , and she’s never even home, and you keep trying to play with me but you don’t even know what I like! I hate dolls! Stop giving me dolls! I want to color and watch TV and play-fight and go outside! Not play house with those stupid dolls! They’re stupid! Everything is stupid! You’re stupid! Kafka’s stupid! I wanna go home! I hate you!” By now, Stelle is having a complete breakdown, sobbing and hiccuping and yelling as loud as her little lungs will allow.

God, that hurts so badly. Himeko feels like she’s about to cry all over again, just like last night. Sure, Stelle has yelled at her before during separate meltdowns of distress and petulant tantrums, but she’s never outright said she hated her. Himeko might have thick skin, but that doesn’t mean that insults don’t affect her, especially when they’re from the little girl who’s supposed to be her daughter, who doesn’t even view her as someone she can tolerate to live with, much less her mom.

“Stelle…” Himeko says softly, trying to keep her voice steady and her expression calm. It’s proving to be a very difficult task.

“Stop it! Stop saying my name, and being nice to me, and giving me all this stuff, and pretending you love me when you don’t! ” Stelle yells, tears streaming down her cheeks. “ You’re not my mom! ”

“I do love you.”

“No you don’t! You-”

“...Stelle? Himeko?” Kafka asks groggily, rubbing her eyes as she walks into the kitchen and surveys the mess before her. 

Himeko lets out a weary sigh and just shakes her head. She doesn’t have the energy to explain right now. Stelle will tell Kafka for her by screaming in her face anyways. And that she does. Stelle turns towards Kafka and begins wailing , banging her small fists on the table before burying her face in her hands and crying even harder.

“Shh, shh, come here, come here. I’m here.” Kafka immediately goes over to the table and picks Stelle up, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head and beginning to soothingly rub her back. Stelle just cries even more, screaming and beating Kafka’s chest with her hands, but she’s so weak right now that Kafka doesn’t feel a thing.

“Put me down! Put me down, let go!”

“Shhh, shh, it’s okay. You’re safe. It’s okay, my dear.”

“I hate you! I hate you both! You’re not my mom! Let go of me!”

But still, Kafka holds Stelle tightly in her arms, carrying her over to the couch and taking a seat and cradling her close to her chest. But Himeko doesn’t miss the brief moment where Kafka’s expression falters when Stelle says she hates her.

The next several minutes are long and agonizing, filled with the sounds of Kafka’s gentle humming and Stelle’s muffled sobs. But finally, after who knows how long, the little girl begins to quiet down. She’s trembling in Kafka’s arms, her eyes are red and puffy from all the crying, and she’s still sniffling, but she’s stopped yelling, at the very least. Himeko is very grateful. She wasn’t sure she could handle more of the yelling without popping a blood vessel. It’s Kafka’s voice that snaps her out of her thoughts. 

“Stelle, can you please tell me why you were crying and what upset you?” She asks, and though her voice is weary, it’s also very gentle. “I just want to help.”

“No you don’t.” Stelle says with a sniffle, refusing to look Kafka in the eye. “You don’t want to help. Stop pretending you love me.”

Kafka is quiet for a moment, just trying to figure out what to say. Himeko knows that she knows that just outright denying the claim won’t make Stelle feel any better at all. So she has to choose her words carefully.

“You were very wanted, you know.” Kafka finally says, looking down at her with a tender expression as she reaches out and wipes away her tears.

Stelle doesn’t say anything, but she does finally look up at Kafka with a slightly less accusatory expression.

“Yeah. You were very wanted. Himeko and I wanted a baby very badly. So we decided to adopt, though we weren’t sure what child would be a good match for our family.” She continues, smiling softly. “We were unsure about a lot of things. It was new and scary for us too, though not as much as it is for you, I’m sure. But when your social workers matched us with you, and introduced us, it was love at first sight for me. I just knew that you were the one. You were going to be our daughter, and Himeko and I were going to love you with everything in ourselves. Do you understand?”

She shakes her head.

“We both love you very much, Stelle. Very, very much. I’m sorry you don’t feel like we do. But I want you to understand how loved and wanted you were and still are. I care about you. We care about you. And we want you to be our daughter.”

There’s a pause for a moment, and Himeko watches as Kafka turns to look up at her and gives her a soft smile, all while she continues rubbing Stelle’s back before turning to look back down at the girl in her arms again. “So tell me, sweetheart, what can we do to make you feel like you belong here? What can we do to make this place your home?”

Stelle looks up at Kafka like she’s grown a second head. It’s as if she’s never heard such a question in her entire life, asking what can be done to make her happier or about her needs. It honestly makes Himeko feel a little dismayed, knowing that she might not have experienced such a thing till now.

“I dunno…” Stelle finally admits with a small frown, glancing from Kafka, to Himeko, then back again. “It doesn’t…it doesn’t feel like this is home even though my stuff is here.”

Huh. She makes a very good point. This last month has been so chaotic, from the first couple weeks just trying to get adjusted at all and then Stelle getting sick last week, that she hasn’t really had time to properly settle in and make the place hers too. But Himeko is resourceful, and after a brief moment of thought, she decides to step in, walking over and taking a seat on the couch next to Kafka.

“What about if we tried to give you some more choices to make the place feel like yours too?” Himeko asks, a small smile on her face. “When you’re all better, we could try and pick out some decorations for your room, and take some family photos together to put up around the house. You could pick what we have for dinner once a week, and we could hang up your coloring pages and drawings on the fridge. Would you like that?”

Immediately, Stelle nods vigorously, and Kafka chuckles softly. “That’s a great idea, Starlight. And I have a suggestion myself. How would you two lovely ladies feel about a girls night in after we get home from the doctor? We could watch a fun movie, make popcorn, paint each other’s nails, and do something as a family .”

Her tears and previous meltdown long forgotten at the promise of candy and decorating her room, Stelle smiles so brightly it could light up a whole room, and for the first time since she got brought home she looks genuinely, truly happy. Himeko has never felt so relieved in her life. Maybe things will all be okay after all.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆  ───

The doctor’s visit is rough, but luckily not as bad as Himeko was worrying it would be. Since it was about 6 in the morning when they finally finished comforting Stelle and none of them had gotten proper sleep, they all went back to bed and slept in for a few more hours, with Kafka taking the day off of work. 

For breakfast they make pancakes together as a family, or rather, Himeko and Kafka make pancakes while Stelle hangs out in the kitchen giggling and cracking jokes and standing on her tiptoes to look inside the frying pan. Despite the fact that she’s still sick, she’s definitely in better spirits. It’s a welcome change from all the crying and fighting that had been going on for the last few weeks. Finally, Himeko is starting to feel like this is actually possible.

Of course, it’s not all sunshine and roses either. The drive to the doctor’s office is filled with Stelle crying in the back seat, and so is the waiting room, and so is once they actually get inside the exam room. Luckily, she just has the flu and it’s nothing too serious, so they get sent back home with the typical advice of resting, drinking lots of water, and taking some cough syrup.

When they finally arrive back home, Stelle is incredibly eager for Kafka and Himeko to make good on their promise of a girls’ night, (or rather day) and she immediately runs over to the kitchen cabinets and tries to reach the candy jar. 

“What do you think you’re doing, little miss candy thief?” Kafka asks with a bemused smile, striding into the kitchen and teasingly moving the jar higher and further out of her reach, to which the little girl pouts and crosses her arms.

“No fairrrrr , you said we could have candy!”

“That I did. And we still can.” Kafka replies, and Stelle beams. “ After you take your cough syrup.”

Her expression sours in an instant, and she wrinkles her nose. It’s honestly adorable, and Himeko laughs softly and grabs the cough medicine, pouring it into a little cup and handing it to Stelle who makes a huffy little sound of protest, but accepts it anyways. “Drink up.”

To her credit, Stelle does drink the medicine, but not without gagging afterwards and trying to wipe the taste off of her tongue with her hands. “That was nasty .”

Himeko and Kafka exchange a glance, each of them stifling their laughter. “Here, let me make it up to you. Pick some candy.” She says with a smile, leaning past Kafka and moving the candy jar back down. Honestly, neither of them have much of a sweet tooth, so it’s been sitting full in the cupboard for months. But with Stelle in the mix now, Himeko has a feeling it won’t last nearly as long anymore. Not that she minds.

The next thing on their agenda is setting up popcorn and a movie. Himeko loads up a streaming service, sets it to the kids mode, and hands the remote to Stelle so that she can pick what they watch. After many minutes of deliberating between various titles that catch her eye, she finally settles on a cute kids movie about talking cars. It’s honestly really boring in Himeko’s opinion, but she’s just glad that her daughter is happy. Plus, the point is for them to bond as a family right now, not to have the most riveting movie experience in the world. Kafka even cracks a few bad jokes that make Stelle giggle, which is hands down the cutest sound she’s ever heard, only rivaled by Kafka’s own genuine laugh.

As the movie continues, midway through Kafka gets up from the couch and gives Himeko a quick kiss before heading into their bedroom and returning with nail polish. There’s not that many color options in hindsight, mostly just dark maroons and purples, but luckily Stelle doesn’t seem to mind. And in an exciting last minute decision, she decides she wants to paint both Himeko and Kafka’s nails, so the two women sit dutifully still as she gives them (very sloppy) manicures. The contrast between how Stelle was treating them from just last night and early this morning to now is stark, but Himeko is incredibly grateful for the change.

By the time the movie ends, the three of them officially have finished their manicure session and eaten way too much popcorn. But there’s still plenty of time left in the day as it's only half past 3:00, so by popular demand from Stelle, she colors while Himeko and Kafka cozy up on the couch with some classical music playing in the background. It’s beautifully domestic, and just this one day makes these last weeks of pain all worth it. And even though she didn’t get her alone time with Kafka today like she had planned, things had all worked themselves out anyways.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

The next couple months go by, and things start to fall into a comfortable routine. The place is really starting to feel like their house as a family now, not just where Himeko and Kafka live. Stelle’s drawings and coloring pages decorate the fridge, pictures of the three of them together sit inside a scrapbook that’s still relatively empty after the first few pages, and every Friday night they play board games together. Kafka has even gone out of her way to make time when she’s off work to take Himeko out on dates, just the two of them while Stelle stays with a sitter for a few hours.

It’s not perfect, because nothing ever is. Stelle still has meltdowns sometimes when she doesn’t get what she wants, and she still has her recurring nightmares, though they’re a bit less frequent now. She still sometimes wakes Himeko and Kafka up in the horrifically early hours of the morning seeking comfort, but now she actually tells them about her bad dreams and lets them hold her. But all in all, things are going pretty well.

It’s one late summer Saturday morning that Himeko sleeps in for the first time in a while, and when she finally does wake up, it’s to the sound of delighted giggles and shrieks. Curious about what exactly is causing such a sound, she gets out of bed and changes into a nice sundress before heading out into the living room. And the sight that greets her has got to be the cutest fucking thing she’s even seen in her entire life. 

There she is — Kafka has Stelle trapped in her lap on the couch, grinning devilishly as she tickles her sides, making the little girl giggle uncontrollably as she squirms in vain trying to get away. Her wife and her daughter are having a (very one-sided) tickle fight, and both of them are smiling and laughing, and it is so damn adorable that while they’re too preoccupied to notice her, Himeko takes her phone out and begins taking photos. Yeah, these are definitely going in the scrapbook.

“Morning, Starlight.” Kafka says with a smirk, looking up at the camera and raising an eyebrow. “Photos, eh? This that special to you?” 

“Of course it is. You guys are adorable right now.” Himeko scoffs, putting her phone away and plopping down next to them on the couch, ready to have a casual conversation as if Stelle isn’t actively getting tickled to pieces (and still shrieking hysterically) right next to her.

“Nooooo, no more! No more tickles!” Stelle protests through her laughter, making some absolutely adorable puppy dog eyes at Himeko. “Save me!”

And how can she resist that? After all, the only thing she loves more than watching Stelle laugh her heart out is watching her wonderful wife have the same reaction. So with a playful grin, she reaches out and scoops Stelle up out of Kafka’s arms and gently sets her down on her feet, and Kafka rolls her eyes.

“Spoilsport. I wasn’t done, y’know.”

“Oh, I know you weren’t. I’m not stopping the tickle fight, if that’s what you’re worried about. Just making it a little more… fair .” Himeko says, smiling far too innocently for what she’s plotting.

Kafka raises an eyebrow and folds her arms across her chest, but doesn’t make any move to try and stop her. If anything, her expression is taunting, as if silently saying “I dare you”. And who is Himeko to ignore such an obvious opportunity that’s being handed to her?

“Hey, Stelle.” She says sweetly, couching down and whispering in her ear. “Wanna get Kafka back for tormenting you for so long?”

She nods eagerly. “Yeah! I wanna get her back!”

Himeko can’t resist laughing softly, and she nods, whispering a little secret before pointing at Kafka and smiling smugly. Kafka just watches skeptically, clearly not worried.

Almost immediately, Stelle runs back over to the couch and jumps into Kafka’s lap, grinning mischievously. “I’m gonna get you!”

“Oh, I’m terrified. Not the tickle monster. Whatever will I do?” Kafka replies playfully, letting Stelle push her onto her stomach so that she’s laying down facing Himeko with Stelle on top of her back. She’s not worried. She should be.

And then without any hesitation, Stelle reaches out her tiny fingers and starts tickling her shoulder blades.

Kafka’s eyes widen comically as she lets out a surprised cough to muffle the laughter that’s threatening to bubble up, and when she looks up at Himeko she glares at her, but makes no effort to escape even though she totally could if she wanted to. “You did not. ”

“I did.”

“You wound me, my dearest Himeko. How could you betray me so? That’s simply not- Hey! ” She yelps as Stelle digs her fingers in a little firmer, and finally Kafka’s stoic expression crumbles and her shoulders shake ever so slightly as she begins to laugh, the sound low and slightly raspy. It’s Himeko’s favorite sound because it’s genuine and unrestrained. It’s not like her usual perfectly rehearsed teasing chuckle that she has, it’s just actual real laughter, and she finds it utterly adorable.

“You’re actually laughing!” Stelle cheers, moving her fingers even faster and scribbling them all over her shoulders. Her technique is a little clumsy, but it still succeeds in getting Kafka to snicker and squirm, which is all she really cares about.

This continues for a few more minutes with Himeko watching and taking photos before Kafka eventually gives in and rolls over, gently shoving Stelle off of her. She still has a few residual giggles spilling from her lips as she speaks, a little bemused smile on her face. “Alright, alright, that’s enough. You win this time.”

Pumping her fist into the air, Stelle grins excitedly, before scurrying off into her room while chanting all the while. “Yay! I win, I win, I win! I’m the best!”

Kafka rolls her eyes and gets up from the couch, walking over to Himeko and nuzzling her face into her neck, inhaling deeply before she presses a little kiss to her cheek. “You’re evil for that, you know. I can’t believe you told our daughter my only weakness. She’s only 6, she’s gonna remember this and torment me for the rest of my life now.”

“Oh, please.” Himeko says, elbowing Kafka in the side. “It’s not like it was even that bad. And you could’ve gotten away at any time, you let her have her fun.”

Kafka grins and shrugs. “Well who am I to deny my favorite little monster some harmless fun? She should know how to win fights and defend herself. When she’s older, we’ll replace the tickling with a metal baseball bat. And then I’ll show her some of my katana techniques for her sweet 16 or something. It’ll be great, trust me.”

“And what are you going to do when she gets in trouble for getting into fights at school?”

“Celebrate by buying her ice cream, obviously .”

“ Kafka. ”

“Fine, fine. I’m just kidding. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Besides, she’s your daughter too. I’m sure she’ll inherit your obnoxiously good morals and sense of justice sooner or later.”

Despite their playful bickering, Himeko can’t help but smile as she pulls Kafka’s face away from her neck by her ponytail and captures her lips in a kiss that Kafka immediately leans into.

“Mm. Do that more. I like that.”

“The kisses?”

“The hair pulling.”

Himeko snorts and rolls her eyes. “Why are you like this?”

“What, terribly charming, a little kinky, a great kisser, and tons of fun to be around?”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Summer ends, and fall begins. Stelle has her first day of school, and seems surprisingly enthusiastic about it. Initially Himeko assumed that she would be the one enjoying having some alone time, but she finds that now that her daughter is at school and her wife is at work, she’s getting lonely very quickly, and doesn’t have much to do.

But Kafka (as attentive and understanding as ever) picks up on her loneliness and boredom after the first week, and starts supplying her with an “allowance” of sorts for her to treat herself every day with something small.

So, Himeko decides to go back to one of favorite old pastimes from her teen years that kind of disappeared once she entered college and ran out of time for herself: Reading. She always has been fond of books, it was one of the many similarities she shared with Kafka when they first met when they were just naive young adults figuring out how the world worked. Sometimes Himeko would read while Kafka would stare over her shoulder and read at the same time, or alternatively she would play the violin for her. It’s been a while since that happened, but Himeko knows if she only asks, that Kafka will serenade her with her violin for hours.

So she gets herself a library card and starts spending her free time out at various cafes, sampling their strongest coffee brews and reading whatever catches her eye, which right now has been various science-fiction novels, adult romance, murder mysteries, and the like. Whenever she isn’t with her two favorite girls or cleaning, cooking, or doing any number of other household chores, she’s enjoying going for walks in the city and reading, reading, reading .

And slowly, the hours alone get less lonely and more peaceful, though Himeko still always looks forward to when she can pick Stelle up from school, and even more when she hears the familiar jingle of keys in the door as Kafka steps inside their home, hangs up her coat, and hugs her from behind.

She can’t deny that she sometimes misses her years aboard the Astral Express, satisfying her wanderlust and not being tied down to any one place, just getting to go on endless trips across the galaxies with no permanent place to call her home except a train and her companions. But Himeko doesn’t regret what she has right now or her domestic life for a single second.

In many ways, her life could’ve split off and gone in an incredibly different direction had she made any number of simple yet major decisions in her life. She could be working a lucrative job after she completed her major in aerospace engineering all those years ago. She could’ve even gotten a normal 9-5 if she so desired instead of choosing to leave everything she knew behind for travel. And now, she could be doing literally anything she put her mind to, yet what she chose was to settle down with her lover and start a family. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

Weeks turn into months, and fall turns into winter, with snow covering the ground of the city that makes her morning strolls feel like a winter wonderland. Her espresso warms her hands as she walks, and by the time she’s home and cozied up with another book it’s noon, and Kafka is calling during her lunch break just to check in and blow her kisses through the video camera.

Before Himeko knows it, it’s Christmas Eve and she’s stuffing stockings with various small gifts. It’s a little after 11:00 and Stelle is already in bed, having made cookies for Santa with her earlier that Himeko and Kafka are now snacking on while wrapping presents to put under the tree, which is decorated with beautiful ornaments and tinsel. These last 6 months have gone by in a blur, and it’s hard for either of them to believe that it hasn’t been more than half a year since adopting their daughter.

“And…that’s the last present for Stelle all done. Now I’ve got to wrap your gifts, so I do believe it’s time we go our separate ways, darling.” Kafka says from her spot on the couch, her hand on Himeko’s thigh as she gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Mmm, I suppose that’s true. I need to wrap your stuff too.” Himeko remarks, scooting closer to Kafka so that their hips are bumping as she rests her head on her shoulder. “But I want to spend more time with you. I’m not ready to go sit by myself just yet.”

“Hmm, well that does pose a bit of an issue now, doesn’t it?” Kafka replies, stroking her chin and pretending to ponder for a moment before she abruptly stands up and takes Himeko’s hands in her own. “How about a waltz?”

“Oh, using your old charms on me from college now, are you?”

“And to think, after all these years, you’re still not immune to them.”

“Touche.”

“So, what do you say, Starlight? May I have this dance?”

“You may.”

And that’s how Himeko ends up being twirled around in Kafka’s arms, giggling like a girl as she spins around and Kafka dips her down, bringing her lips to her own and kissing her deeply before pulling away and continuing the dance.

Surprising to no one, they end up completely losing track of time and waltzing until their feet ache late into the night, and they finally both collapse onto the couch in each other’s arms, laughing and kissing and snuggling as close as can be, basking in the other’s warmth.

“What do you say we finish the wrapping tomorrow morning and just go cuddle? I’m beat.” Kafka suggests, and Himeko nods without hesitation.

“Yeah, me too. Oh, but Stelle is probably going to wake up before us and wonder why some of the presents aren’t wrapped…”

Kafka chuckles softly, pulling Himeko into her lap. “Let her be confused. Right now, I want my wife, and I want sleep. It’s been a long day.”

“Well how can I say no to that?”

It doesn’t take long before they’re fast asleep in each other’s arms, their legs intertwined.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Christmas comes and goes, as does New Year’s and the rest of winter. January is dreary and bleak, February is filled with romantic dates that go far beyond just Valentine’s day, and March is the start of spring, with the grass beginning to grow just a little greener and signs of a few flowers poking up from the ground, preparing to bloom. It’s April, however, that Himeko and Kafka have been waiting for.

April 26th, Stelle’s 7th birthday. Her 1st birthday that they’ll get to all celebrate together as a family. And Himeko and Kafka are going all out. From getting her a custom made birthday cake from their local bakery, to tons of presents that they’ve been slowly stocking up on over the last couple months, not to mention the decorations, they’re prepared.

Unfortunately, Stelle hasn’t made many friends in school, so she doesn’t really want to have a birthday party, instead asking if the 3 of them could just spend the day together at the amusement park. And of course, Himeko and Kafka both were happy to oblige and over the moon that Stelle specifically requested to spend time with them on such a special day. They’re beyond prepared to give her the best possible day ever.

Bright and early on the morning of, Himeko gets ready as fast as she can, taking a quick shower with Kafka before slipping on a simple blouse and skirt. Kafka dresses similarly, taking her hair out of its signature loose ponytail and wearing her favorite business-casual outfit, perfect for getting some cute family photos.

Next up on their agenda is waking their lovely little birthday girl. Careful not to let the door creak as she opens it, Himeko steps inside her room to see a slumbering Stelle all cozy in her bed with her favorite teddy bear under her arm. Adorable. She ushers Kafka inside and together the two of them carry in a bunch of colorful balloons that took way too long to blow up, and carefully set them all around her bed on the floor, before Kafka retreats to the kitchen to grab one last thing.

Finally, it’s time to actually wake her up. Himeko opens the blinds and Kafka returns with a delicious looking chocolate cake in her hands, before they both start loudly singing happy birthday while Himeko records a video on her phone. It doesn’t take long for Stelle to wake and sit up excitedly, her mouth in a perfect ‘O’ shape of surprise as she looks at the cake.

“Chocolate cake! That’s my favorite!” She says excitedly, clapping her hands and beaming as she smiles at Himeko and Kafka, giggling softly as they continue singing. “Thank you!”

“You are very welcome.” Kafka replies with a grin, taking a seat on Stelle’s bed and presenting her with the cake, the candles flickering with tiny flames. “Make a wish!”

Stelle squeezes her eyes shut tightly before opening them again and blowing out all the candles in one go, and then she immediately sticks her finger out and grabs a dollop of frosting from the edge before putting it in her mouth. Kafka laughs, and Himeko sighs fondly and rolls her eyes.

“What do you say instead of sneaking little licks of frosting we actually get you a piece of your birthday cake, hm? Dessert before breakfast.” Kafka suggests, and Stelle nods happily.

In only a few minutes, Stelle is dressed in a cute new outfit that Himeko picked out and gifted her on her “Birthday Eve”, and she rushes into the kitchen as Kafka cuts her a slice of cake that is way too big, but Himeko lets it slide just this once.

The rest of the day is just as fun. They start by eating breakfast and opening presents, and Stelle receives some cute clothes, as well as some of the much more interesting toys she had been begging for for the last couple months ever since she saw them in an advertisement. She’s certainly one very happy girl right now. 

After presents, it’s time to go to the amusement park. Stelle has never been to one before, and that simply won’t do, so when she specifically requested to go to one for her birthday Himeko and Kafka agreed it was a necessity. Despite all the long lines, sounds of screaming children, and the ridiculously overpriced food and drinks, Himeko does have a nice time, and most importantly so does Stelle. She rides a kiddie roller coaster, goes on a teacup ride that she absolutely loves, (and insists they go on again and again) and gets plenty of delicious greasy snacks for lunch like corndogs and popcorn. Not to mention this is also her first time trying cotton candy. She’s definitely had way too much sugar today, but Himeko figures one day of sacrificing eating healthy for all the happy memories it will bring is worth it.

By the time sunset rolls around, Kafka has to carry Stelle back to the car because she’s so exhausted from the wonderful day, and she falls asleep in the back seat as soon as she gets inside. When they arrive back home, Himeko gently shakes the little girl away so that they can eat dinner and watch a short movie before bed. They end up ordering Chinese takeout, enjoying orange chicken and egg rolls on the couch as the three of them snuggle together under a blanket in a cuddle pile, with Stelle in the middle and Himeko and Kafka on either side of her.

Stelle ends up falling asleep again before the movie ends, and Himeko carries her to bed and tucks her in, humming a soft lullaby.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

April showers bring May flowers, or at least that’s how the saying goes, and it definitely holds true this spring. By the time May rolls around, not only has it been almost an entire year since they adopted Stelle, but Mother’s Day is rapidly coming up, and Himeko can’t wait to celebrate it for the first time ever.

She doesn’t have any massive plans, but she’s okay with that. She figures they’ll all go out for breakfast together as a family or something, she’ll give Kafka a card and receive one in return, maybe they’ll buy flowers, and that’ll be that. But on the morning of, she wakes up to a different surprise entirely.

For the first time in months, just like old times, Stelle is waking her up bright and early in the morning. But this time, it’s not because of a nightmare. This time, she’s carrying a little tray of food in her small arms, with two sandwiches, two bowls of strawberries, and two personal-sized bags of potato chips. She even has two mugs of coffee, no doubt taken from the leftovers of yesterday’s pot and microwaved. There’s even a small vase with some dandelions picked from their yard. Himeko suddenly feels herself getting emotional, and Kafka sits up beside her, her eyes widening ever so slightly when she sees Stelle.

“Surprise! I made you breakfast in bed! I know it’s lunch food, but using the stove was too scary…” Stelle admits sheepishly, letting out a little embarrassed giggle before presenting the two women with the tray, and Himeko gingerly accepts it and puts it in her lap.

“Stelle, you didn’t have to… thank you. Really, this looks amazing.”

“It really does.” Kafka chimes in, reaching out to ruffle Stelle’s hair. “You really are a sweetheart, you know that? So generous. Thank you.”

Himeko pops a strawberry into her mouth and smiles warmly. “So, what’s the occasion for us to be treated with such generosity? Last time I checked, it’s not either of our birthdays.”

Stelle stares at her incredulously, as if Himeko has grown a second head. Himeko just stares back, blinking in confusion, before she finally speaks. “It’s Mother’s Day. You’re my moms. Why would I not do something?”

Oh…

And in that moment, Himeko feels her heart stop for a moment, and suddenly her eyes are getting a little misty. This is the first time that Stelle has addressed either of them as her mom, and she’s saying it right now like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And Himeko honestly can’t help herself from getting emotional over it. Her heart swells in her chest, and all she wants to do is pull the little girl into her arms, but unfortunately she still has the tray of delicious food on her lap. 

And for the record, Kafka is getting rather emotional too. It might not be noticeable to Stelle, but Himeko sees it. The way her eyes widen slightly, how she purses her lips before breaking out into a warm smile, the stiffness in her shoulders that immediately melted away, and how she looks so genuinely happy even though she’s trying not to make a big deal about it.

“You’re right. How could I forget?” Himeko finally replies, trying to cover up her shock and adoration radiating from her with an excuse that she forgot about the holiday entirely. Luckily, Stelle seems to buy it, or at least doesn’t press the matter any further.

“Sooooo…” Stelle says after a few minutes of chatting, and while Himeko and Kafka eat their brunch, she avoids eye contact and fidgets with her hands.  “I actually made you both something…a present.”

A…present? So not only has Stelle brought them breakfast in bed and flowers, but now she got them another gift too? Himeko could cry for less. This is just so sweet, and she’s not used to it at all. She finds she loves it a lot.

“Oh, yeah? Whatever could it be?” Kafka asks curiously, taking another bite of her sandwich,

“Um…it’s not that good…” Stelle replies, shifting from one foot to the other awkwardly, her voice uncharacteristically shy. “But um, here.” She finally says, handing Kafka a small folded piece of paper.

Kafka hands the piece of paper to Himeko who unfolds it slowly, and when she sees the contents inside, she has to actually blink back tears, despite the fact that she’s not usually much of a crier.

The contents are unmistakable. Drawn with crayons and markers on the paper is a drawing of the three of them together all holding hands, with Stelle in the middle. They’re standing in the middle of a hill with flowers all around and a sunset in the background. It might still obviously be a child’s drawing, and they’re basically all glorified stick figures, but if anything that only makes it all the more special in Himeko’s eyes.

She had seen Stelle’s drawings before, sure. Quite regularly, in fact. Stelle has already been a creative child, loving to make crafts and bringing coloring pages home to hang up on the fridge, always doodling in the margins of her schoolwork. But this is the first time she’s received something so heartfelt and made with love from her before.

And despite the simplicity of the illustration, Himeko can immediately tell how much effort went into it. From the colors she chose to try and match their hair colors as closely as possible, to remembering little details like the signature sunglasses Kafka usually has sitting atop her head and a golden rose ornament in Himeko’s hair, she can only imagine how long Stelle has been planning this for. And that just makes her feel even more emotional.

It’s Stelle’s timid voice that finally breaks the silence. “S-so, what do you think..? I know it’s not very good, but I tried really hard to get the right colors-”

“It’s perfect. ” Kafka interrupts, her expression soft and fond as she takes in the drawing for a final long moment before turning to Stelle and opening her arms to give her a big hug, to which Stelle immediately runs into and hugs her back.

“You like it?” She asks eagerly, looking up at Kafka and Himeko with a hopeful expression.

“I love it.” Himeko replies, gently holding the drawing in her hands and admiring it again before looking at Stelle with an adoring expression. “It’s wonderful. You did an amazing job. Thank you so much.”

Stelle cheers, finally pulling away from Kafka’s hug to climb onto the bed and hug Himeko next. And then she says something that neither Himeko nor Kafka expected to ever hear her say out loud. First she turns to Himeko. “I love you Mama.” And then she turns to Kafka. “And I love you too, Mom.”

“I love you too.” Himeko immediately says, and she subtly reaches out and squeeze’s Kafka’s hand under the covers so tightly it probably hurts, as if silently saying “ Oh my god, she really sees us as her moms. ”

“Yes, I love you so much.” Kafka adds, her voice ever so slightly shaky for a brief moment before she clears her throat and smiles warmly. “Lots and lots.”

“I know.” Stelle says proudly, and she climbs into the middle of the bed, sandwiching herself between Himeko and Kafka. “Happy Mother’s Day!”

“Happy Mother’s Day.”

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

“ Mommmm, Mama, I’m home! Where the hell are you guys?” Stelle calls out, walking into the living room as she sets her backpack down on the floor, glancing around the dimly lit room. 

For a moment, there’s silence, and then Himeko flips the lights on and steps out from behind the kitchen, pulling Stelle into her arms. “Happy sweet 16, sweetheart.”

“Ugh, what have I told you about calling me that? I’m practically an adult now! I’m way too old for that.”

Kafka snorts, walking out of their bedroom and heading over to Stelle, ruffling her hair affectionately. “Whatever you say, you goofball. You’ll always be a baby to us though. I still remember the day we brought you home for the first time.”

Stelle laughs awkwardly, pulling away from Himeko’s hug and playfully glaring at Kafka, putting her hands on her hips. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You guys have told me the story so many times I could recite it from memory. I remember the day too, y’know. I wasn’t that little when you adopted me.”

“Mmm, yes, but my memories are better.” Kafka says with a smug smile, reaching out and poking Stelle in the side, who yelps in surprise and lets out an indignant huff. “And you’re still just as ticklish as you were when you were little. Go figure.”

“Oh, whatever. ” Stelle rolls her eyes and groans, plopping down on the couch. “Now, if I remember correctly I was promised a chocolate birthday cake for today…” She adds with a hopeful expression, and Himeko laughs softly.

“It’s in the fridge. Let me get the candles and you can make your wish.”

“But-”

“No but’s. You can’t outgrow making wishes.”

“You know what? Fine. I’m gonna wish for you and Mom to stop being so embarrassing.”

Kafka chuckles, shaking her head fondly and grabbing a lighter for the candles. “Whatever you say, Stelle.”

True to her word, when the cake is brought out Stelle does in fact close her eyes and make a wish, though the contents of her wish of course remain unknown. Himeko snaps a photo for the scrapbook, which has filled up so much over the years that they had to buy a second one. 

Himeko frequently looks through it with Kafka, browsing through the contents and pointing out her favorite memories. She never really was much of a sentimental type when she was younger, always insisting that she would always remember the most important memories, and didn’t need to take photos or get souvenirs. That ideology has long since faded from her life, and now the house is covered in photos and knickknacks and mementos that line the shelves and cover the walls.

And Himeko wouldn’t want it any other way.