Archive of Our Own ^beta

The gallery is surprisingly crowded, buzzing with noise and chatter. Ryusei Shidou maneuvers his way through the masses after Aiku and Sendou, glancing at the various artworks displayed on the walls.

"Geez, Aiku," he teases, "All these people here to see you?"

The reason he's here at this art gallery on a Thursday night is because Aiku had submitted some of his works, and they'd been accepted. For their little friend group, it was a big deal- the first time any of them had gotten their works displayed somewhere outside the Blue Lock College of Arts.

They'd already taken the time to check out Aiku's little spot on the wall- a couple of watercolor paintings of interesting architecture around the area. Sendou had made Aiku pose by them for pictures. Now, they were exploring the rest of the gallery. All around are brilliant works on display; photos and illustrations, portraits and landscapes. Shidou likes to think he has a good eye for art, and so far, he's impressed. It seemed like a big deal for Aiku to have been accepted somewhere like this, and it gave him hope for himself.

"Everyone's here for the big attraction," Aiku says over his shoulder.

"And that would be?"

"Sae Itoshi, who else?"

Shidou doesn't think he recognizes the name. "He's what, an artist? Do you know him? He goes to our school or something?"

At that, Sendou snorts. "Hell no. A guy like that wouldn't be caught dead by our little institution. Nah, he's like a huge name in the photography world. Super famous. Surprised you haven't heard of him, man."

"Well, I'm not really into photography," Shidou defends his honor. "If this guy's so good, I wanna see his work. I'll be the judge of that."

"Sure, if we can get anywhere close to it," Aiku snickers.

"Oh come on, he can't be that good," Shidou says. "Quit dickriding this guy."

"It's not dickriding if it's the truth," Sendou counters. "Seriously, it's crazy Aiku got into the same gallery as him."

"I can't tell if you're insulting or complimenting me." Aiku raises a brow.

"Look, we're coming up on it," Sendou points up ahead to where the crowd is the thickest. "He's got a whole wall to himself. Ready to see a real genius, Shidou?"

"I'll know a genius when I see one," Shidou returns.

Aiku starts the fight through the crowd, and Shidou follows hot on his heels. Miraculously, someone steps to the side, and the view parts just in time for Shidou to catch a glimpse of the wall ahead of them. Immediately, he feels his heart fall into his stomach, and at his side, Sendou's jaw drops.

"Holy fuck," Aiku says, "Is that...?"

The exhibit is titled Pink Spider . Every photo is enlarged, arranged with white thread attached between them almost like a web. Despite the blown-up size, the detail is sharp and clear. Each image is boldly colored and snapped at the most perfect angle. The photographer behind it obviously had an artist's eye. Shidou would absolutely understand how he became famous.

Would understand, except for the subject matter.

Because the subject of every photo is him . It has to be him, right? No one else has that bold eyeliner, that shock of blonde hair, the pink tips, the tan skin. The eccentric outfits he dressed in, just as colorful as the photo grading. He's going about mundane things in every photo- on a walk, sipping coffee through a cafe window, up on his apartment balcony, sketching in the park. The photos are candid and masterfully captured for someone who hadn't been posing their subject.

"You're kidding," Sendou gasps out.

"Holy shit, Shidou," Aiku whistles. "You have a stalker."

"Yeah," Shidou echoes in awe, because he's completely and utterly enraptured. He doesn't know what exactly he's feeling right now, but whatever it is, it's strong. It was the kind of feeling that made every cell in his body want to explode. He stares up at the photos, at his own face and likeness, an out-of-body experience. "Hey, who did you say this guy was again?"

As it turns out, Sae Itoshi is a very private person.

Shidou does his research the moment he gets home. No personal social media- only an Instagram run by management with pictures of his work (none of the ones posted contain Shidou- he checks. Scrolls a while, actually). He has a website with a portfolio, and finally, Shidou finds a picture of the guy. And man, is he jaw-droppingly gorgeous, with magenta hair pushed out of his forehead and the most stunning teal eyes Shidou has ever seen in his life. The thing that stands out the most about the guy is his long lower lashes.

And yeah, Aiku hadn't been lying- this guy is famous. Like, has a Wikipedia page famous (which Shidou reads, obviously). His birthday is October 10th. He's Shidou's own age of twenty. He was born in Japan but studied photography overseas in Spain. He has a younger brother named Rin who apparently goes to the Blue Lock University of Arts same as Shidou.

Okay, so Shidou has a stalker. A very famous, very pretty stalker.

The news spreads through their adjacent friend groups like wildfire. Shidou's phone is blowing up, some from numbers he doesn't even recognize. Everyone's curious about the same thing, but Shidou doesn't have answers for them. He keeps thinking back to the gallery, about the photos. How Sae seemed to freeze time into one single moment, zeroing the world in on Shidou.

His mind is racing. It's hard to sleep that night.

-*-

Click .

With a snap of the shutter, Sae captures the photo. He's not pleased with the result. He wasn't pleased with any of his work these days. Everything was boring, too lukewarm... Except for Pink Spider, of course.

His exhibit had been displayed last night at the gallery. Sae hadn't bothered going. He doesn't like galleries; they're loud and overcrowded. Besides, no compliments that would be showered upon him for his work would mean anything to him. It was all fruitless- these nobodies would never understand true art, even if it hit them in the face.

Frustrated, Sae snaps another photo. The shutter speed is just enough to capture the car whizzing by the street. Still, a load of nothing. Sae presses his lips together in a thin line.

He's just waiting, of course. For him . Pink Spider usually came here on Fridays around this time of day to sketch. Usually, his subjects consisted of other passersby, quickly captured in a messy pencil scribble. Pink Spider liked drawing people, and Sae... well, Sae liked photographing Pink Spider.

Rin says he can get obsessive about things. Sae doesn't disagree. To him, photography isn't just art. It's meticulous, it's perfection. Without the right muse, it's pointless. And when Sae had first laid eyes on Pink Spider, dressed in an obnoxious outfit with that pink tipped hair of his, he'd known he'd found the perfect muse. Obsession was an understatement. Pink Spider was life. He was bright. He was color personified. Sae wanted, needed, to capture every angle of him, to bring him to life the only way he knew how.

Pink Spider lived in his camera. He lived on his computer. He lived in the hard drive Sae kept backed up. He lived in the photos he had professionally printed. Sae had never felt inspiration like this before, not since he'd gone off to Spain. For a while, he'd been convinced there was nothing in the world worth capturing anymore.

There was something different about Pink Spider than the rest of the world. Sae just needed to figure out what . And in order to do that, he needed about a million more photos.

Speaking of, Pink Spider was still nowhere in sight. Sae checks his watch. It's getting late. Maybe he'd taken a day off? But he'd never taken a day off over the past few months. Sae would know.

Rin would be out of classes soon. With a small exhale, Sae prepares to give up for the day.

There's a tap on his shoulder.

Annoyed, Sae looks up and prepares an irritated comment about how no, he doesn't do autographs. Instead, the words freeze in his throat.

Pink Spider is standing over him, behind the park bench he's sitting on. There's a lazy grin stretched out over that face Sae knows all too well over hours of meticulous photo editing. His pink eyes sparkle. "Hey," he says, all casual. "Do you have a pencil I can borrow?"

When Sae doesn't answer, he holds up the sketchbook tucked under his arm.

"I like sketching," he continues, "But I had something before this, and I forgot to bring my pencil. You happen to have a spare?"

Contact. He'd made contact with Pink Spider. Or rather, Pink Spider had made contact with him.

Faced with the subject of his work over the past few months, Sae freezes in place like a deer caught in the headlights. Another thing Rin likes to say is that he's not very good with people. That, Sae wholeheartedly agrees with. It's why he likes photography. He gets to strip away what makes someone someone through the safety of a camera lens. Like a dissection, almost. No words required.

"No," Sae says finally, shortly. "I don't."

He hopes that will be it, but Pink Spider leans further over the bench. "Hey, is that a camera? You takin' pictures? Looks like we're fellow artists, then. I go to Blue Lock."

"I know," Sae replies, then hurriedly corrects, "I mean, my brother attends."

"He does photography too?"

"No. He's a painter."

"Oh hey, me too," Pink Spider says chipperly. "I don't think I've taken any classes with him. If he looks anything like you, I'd remember."

Sae huffs. "And why's that?"

"'cause you're stunning," Pink Spider returns simply, grin widening. "Hey, lashes. Lemme paint you."

"Excuse me?" Sae says, like an idiot. He certainly feels like an idiot.

"Lemme paint you," Pink Spider echoes. "I'm a portrait artist. I've got this assignment coming up that I need a model for, but none of my friends are free. And not to be totally brazen here, but you'd make the prettiest subject."

Sae blinks stupidly. The tables were being turned on him far too quickly. Sae wasn't the model, he was the artist. But here he was, being propositioned by none other but his very own muse. This had to be some kind of cruel joke by the universe. Karma, maybe, for the thousands of photos he'd taken without the guy knowing.

"Oh, I guess you don't even know my name," Pink Spider chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ryusei Shidou. And you are...? I can't call you lashes forever."

Ryusei Shidou . Sae finally has a name to put to the face. "Sae," he says finally, carefully. "And if you go to Blue Lock, you'll have no shortage of models. Go find one there."

"But I don't want some fucking random," Shidou gives a dramatic groan. "You're an artist, you must get it. You've gotta be inspired to make art. The subject is the most important part of the piece."

"Which is why it shouldn't be me," Sae bites back. "There's nothing... inspirational about me. I'm a stranger you met in a park."

"Okay, how's this?" Shidou asks. "Gimme your phone."

Sae pales. "What?"

"Your phone. I'll give you my number," Shidou offers. "You can text me if you change your mind. Think on it, 'kay? Come on, please? I promise I'll do you justice. I wouldn't fuck up a pretty face like that."

"No," Sae snaps, heat rising to his face. He needs this conversation to end, now, before he humiliates himself any further. "No, I'm not going to let some- some stranger give me his number. Go take your lukewarm attempts somewhere else."

"Hmm," Shidou seems to consider this. "Playing hard to get, huh? Okay, here."

From his shoulder bag, he pulls out a pencil and scribbles something down in his sketchbook. Afterward, he rips it out and hands it over to Sae. Incredulous, Sae stares down at it. Written down is a phone number of all things.

"Text me," Shidou urges. "Or I'm sure we'll run into each other again." He ends the sentence with a wink that has Sae crumpling the paper in his fist. "C'mon, Sae-chan, gimme a chance. I'll blow your mind."

"I'll think about it," Sae grits out, heart racing. "Will you leave me alone now?"

"Sure," Shidou sings. "Seeya, Sae-chan."

With that, he saunters off. Sae watches him go, the camera forgotten in his lap. It's only when he's out of sight that Sae realizes Shidou had a pencil on him the whole time.

He replays the conversation over and over again all throughout dinner. Rin sits across from him at the table, picking at his takeout. Sae is hardly paying attention to him. He keeps thinking about that piece of paper tucked safely away in his pocket.

Finally, Rin says, "Are you even going to bother asking how my day was?"

Sae looks up at him and blinks. "...how was your day?"

"How was yours?" Rin returns with a scowl. "Clearly, something's more important to you right now. Is it about the gallery?"

"No," Sae says distantly. Drawing up the courage, he pushes out, "Pink Spider spoke to me today."

Rin chokes on his food. "Pink Spider? That freak you've been photographing?"

Sae hums in affirmation. "It was... strange," he muses. "He asked if he could paint me."

"And you said yes, obviously?"

Sae doesn't answer.

"Oh my god," Rin realizes. "Sae, you idiot. You've been obsessed with this guy for months, then he finally talks to you and you turn him down?"

"It was just too weird!" Sae exclaims in a sad attempt to defend himself. "I didn't know what to say to him. I never know what to say!"

"How about you start with 'yes, I'd love to model for you'," Rin scoffs.

"I never wanted him to talk to me!" Sae protests, hands curling into fists. "People are better from a distance. Through a camera lens."

"So you're just going to be a stalker for the rest of your life?"

"Yes! No. Maybe?"

Something on Rin's face softens. "Maybe this would be a good thing," he says, "You're very..."

"Very?"

"Isolated," Rin finishes lamely.

"And I like it that way," Sae returns. "People are all the same. I have no desire to deal with them."

"This guy's different though, right? You've said it yourself. He inspired you for a reason."

"I don't want to be disappointed when I'm wrong about him," Sae can't help but snap. Immediately, he feels too vulnerable, so he backtracks. "It's not happening, Rin. Just drop it."

Rin is quiet for a moment. Then he says, "Maybe you're not wrong. I've made some friends at Blue Lock. People aren't always that bad. It might be time to give someone a chance."

The paper burns in his pocket like a shameful secret. Sae stands up, grabbing his plate. Wordlessly, he deposits it in the sink. He can deal with dishes later. Right now, he just wants to be alone.

Rin lets him go without protest.

Inside the safety of his bedroom, Sae sits on his bed and stares at the wall. It's covered in photos, all of Ryusei Shidou. Some he'd displayed at the gallery, others were his own personal work. Shame coils in his gut. Pink Spider was better off as a concept, a muse. A subject for Sae to quietly peel back the layers of through his camera.

But when Sae gets fixated on something, it's always impossible to pull away.

Carefully, he extracts the paper from his pocket. Pulling out his phone with his other hand, he types the digits into his contacts.

Heart racing, his fingers hover over the keyboard. He barely dares to breathe as he uncertainly types out a message.

Sae Itoshi: it's Sae.

Almost immediately, there's a response.

Pink Spider: YOU TEXTED!!!!!!!!!

Pink Spider: I mean heh. I knew you would

Pink Spider: just couldn't resist, huh? ;)

Sae Itoshi: I'll make a trade.

Pink Spider: a trade, huh? kay, spill

Sae Itoshi: I'll model for you if you model for me.

Pink Spider: REALLYYYYYYYYYYY? you'd wanna take photos of lil ol' me?

Pink Spider: well I'm just honored, Sae-chan~

Pink Spider: it's a deal! ^-^

Sae Itoshi: alright. When do you want to meet?

Pink Spider: how 'bout tomorrow? my friends and I have a studio we're renting together. I'll send you the address ;)

Pink Spider: it's a weekend so I'm free whenever. 10am sound good? bright and early to get a good start~

Sae Itoshi: sure.

Pink Spider: YAY

Pink Spider: hey, you said your brother goes to Blue Lock. do you attend too?

Sae Itoshi: no. I'm freelance.

Pink Spider: wowwww, cool. a real professional!

Pink Spider: well, I'm still just a measly college student, but my skills'll blow you away anyhow ;)

Sae Itoshi: ok.

Pink Spider: you won't regret this one bit Sae-chan

Sae Itoshi: don't call me that.

Pink Spider: it'll catch on :3

Sae Itoshi: I'll be there tomorrow. goodbye.

With that, he clicks his phone off and tosses it to the side of the bed, burying his head in his hands. This was a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. And yet the photos on his wall say otherwise. Pink Spider was different, and Sae was determined to find out why.

-*-

There's a knock at the door.

Anxious, anticipatory, Shidou pulls it open.

Standing there is Sae Itoshi in the flesh. He's wearing a turtleneck and black jeans, arms folded across his chest. Shidou can't resist the grin that slides across his face.

He'd been surprised at how seemingly difficult it had been to get Sae in this position. Usually, a stalker would jump at any opportunity to get closer, right? But Sae was a strange case. He came off as cold, even toward Shidou. It seemed there was a lot Shidou still had to learn about the guy, and boy, he was planning to learn as much as he could.

"Sae-chan!" he exclaims, stepping back to let him into the studio. Sae enters without greeting, eyes wandering the room. Shidou, Sendou, and Aiku share it between the three of them, so it's littered with all sorts of different canvases. Somehow, though, Sae looks past the many landscapes and drawings to zero in on Shidou's portrait work.

The painting he's looking at is of Bachira, one of Shidou's classmates he would consider a friend. He'd volunteered to pose for him one day. Shidou had captured his likeness with careful brush strokes and colors. It was one of his better works, he'd say.

"You like it?" Shidou sings.

Sae is unamused. "Is that another stranger you accosted on the street?"

"No, I don't make a habit of accosting," Shidou chuckles. "That's a classmate."

"So what, I'm a special case?"

"You could say that," Shidou winks.

Sae doesn't pay him any heed. "Where should I sit?" he asks. Okay, straight to business, then.

"Stool over there," Shidou points. He already has his canvas and paints set up. "Thanks for agreeing to this, by the way."

"I'm not here for chit-chat," Sae says coldly. "We have a mutual agreement. This benefits both of us."

Yeah, like you wouldn't be taking photos of me anyway, Shidou thinks. He should probably find it creepy, but honestly, it's a bit of a turn on. Knowing someone was that into him, especially someone with such an artistic eye? Shidou is flattered, honestly. Plus, he's a freak at heart. He'd sort of returned the favor, given his deception of Sae now. In a way, the two were using each other, a game of cat and mouse.

"I didn't forget, don't worry, Sae-chan," Shidou says. "You'll get your photo sesh."

Sae eases himself down onto the stool. He sits with his legs crossed, Shidou notes. "Anything I need to be doing?" he questions.

"Nope, just sit still and pretty. Should be easy for you," Shidou tries another wink. Sae is unfazed. "Fair warning, this'll get pretty boring pretty quick if you're planning on being like that the entire time."

"Like what?" Sae furrows his brows.

"Quiet."

Sae gives a short huff. "Well, that's just how I am," he says. "If you don't like it, find some other guy in the park."

Shidou barks a sharp laugh. "I like the guy I found just fine," he returns. Picking up his brush, he takes a moment to size up Sae's face. He's even prettier in person than in the website photo. His eyes are stunning, and god, those lashes are going to be the death of him. Shidou wonders if they're naturally that long. At his intense stare, a bit of pink dusts across Sae's cheeks.

"You look like you're trying to burn a hole through me," he says, shifting on the stool.

"Sorry, sorry," Shidou waves his brush. "Just admiring."

"Can you hurry up and start?"

"Trust the creative process!" As he speaks, Shidou starts to mix his paints. Finally, with the right color, he takes his first swipe across the canvas. "So how long have you been doing photography?"

"I thought I said no talking," Sae says stiffly.

"No, you didn't. You just said you were quiet."

Sae doesn't answer, and for a moment, Shidou thinks he's really planning on sitting silently the entire time. Finally, though, he says, "For most of my life."

"Did you study somewhere?" Shidou asks. "If you're not in school right now, I mean, you must've learned somewhere."

Sae chews on his lower lip. "I studied in Spain," he returns. "I don't see how this matters."

"Just trying to get to know you!" Shidou chimes happily, continuing his brush strokes. Beyond a Wikipedia article, anyway. "What's Spain like?"

Something flickers in Sae's eyes. "Lonely."

Shidou drags his brush down the canvas, pausing only to mix a bit more paint. "Your brother, then. What's he like?"

"What does my brother have to do with anything?"

"Well, he goes to my school," Shidou points out. "Maybe I'll run into him!"

"Stay away from Rin," Sae says flatly. "He's none of your business."

"Sheesh, okay. My bad." Shidou holds up a hand in surrender. "You said he paints, right? You ever modeled for him before?"

"No," the photographer returns. "I don't like being the subject."

"But you made an exception for me?" Shidou sings. "How sweet! You're warming my heart!"

"This has nothing to do with you," Sae scoffs. "We have a-"

"Yeah, yeah, mutually beneficial agreement. Don't worry, Sae-chan. I know I'm irresistible."

"The only thing you are is irritating ."

Does he even like me? Shidou wonders. What makes a guy take photos of someone he doesn't like? Surely if he was actually interested in him, he'd be... friendlier. Maybe Shidou had been mistaken. Maybe it wasn't a stalker situation but a right-place-right-time kind of thing. Y'know, and Shidou just happened to be the perfect subject for every candid photo. Yeah, right.

"What do you usually take photos of?" he questions. "Like, I'm a portrait guy. Does anything speak to you?"

Sae regards him curiously. "...I photograph things to understand them. Every photo has a purpose."

"I think art is the purpose," Shidou replies. "To create is to be human."

Sae's lips twitch with a frown. "Lukewarm reasoning," he says, "Art can't be the purpose of art. It has to mean something."

"What does this mean to you, then?"

"It means you have a homework assignment due," Sae returns easily. "It's practice. A stepping stone for a greater purpose."

"Y'know what I think?" Shidou eyes him over the canvas. "I saw a pretty boy I wanted to paint, and it's as simple as that."

"Art isn't simple," Sae says, though his cheeks flush. "It's complicated."

"I don't agree," Shidou replies with a cheeky grin. "I think art is one of the simplest things in the world. Even babies can do it."

Sae wrinkles his nose. "Scribbling in a coloring book isn't art ."

"Sure it is," Shidou shrugs. "What else could it be? It's creation. It's an explosion. Humans are wired to create. We want to leave a trace of something behind, something to remember us by. Even a toddler with a crayon knows that."

"A toddler with a crayon doesn't know anything."

"I didn't expect a guy like you to have such a nihilistic take on art," Shidou comments offhandedly.

Sae stills. "A guy like me?"

Oh, shit. Shidou hurries to backtrack. "I mean, you're an artist. Artists are usually more... positive about what they do."

"Hmph." Sae averts his eyes. "Photography is different than painting. It's not creation, it's simply capturing what's already there."

"I don't think so," Shidou disagrees. "It's still an act of creation. You have to set up the shot, envision a scene, edit the colors to your liking."

"It's complicated," Sae repeats. "Everything has a purpose. There's no such thing as creation for the sake of creation."

"I guess we just won't see eye-to-eye on this one," Shidou says.

"Sure. Fine by me."

They lapse into silence, Shidou focused on his paint strokes. Sae, to his credit, sits fairly still. He looks incredibly serious, a stoic expression across his face. Shidou does his best to capture it- the thin line of his lips, the slight furrow of his brows, the sharp gaze of his eyes.

But Shidou can't stand the quiet for long, so he finds himself saying, "You should show me some of your work. I mean, you've seen mine, so it's only fair, right?"

Sae's eyes narrow. "You'll see it when I photograph you," he replies.

"Yeah, but I'd like a peek at what I'm in for."

"...fine," Sae says. "I'll send you some tonight. How's the painting? Almost done?"

"Almost done?" Shidou can't help but laugh. "This'll take a good few sessions, Sae-chan."

"Multiple?" Sae asks in disbelief. "What, you can't do it in one?"

"Unless you want to sit here literally all day, no. I don't think even I would have the patience for that. Besides, painting is a process. It'll be good to sleep on it."

"Sure," Sae says stiffly. "Fine. Have it your way."

"If you want, we can wrap it up for today," Shidou offers. An olive branch. "I've gotten some good progress on the base."

"Okay." Sae stands from the stool. "Do I get to see?"

"Nope!" Shidou sets down his brush. "It's a surprise! Seeing an unfinished product is bad luck."

"Is it?"

"I don't know. Probably."

"I get to see Rin's works in progress all the time," Sae mutters. "Never any bad luck there."

"Well, this one is special!" Shidou exclaims. "A special painting for a special guy."

Sae grumbles something in protest, then looks up as Shidou approaches. "You have something," he states plainly.

"Huh?"

Without another word, Sae reaches up. Shidou's heart catches in his throat as Sae swipes his thumb across his cheek. When he pulls away, there's a bit of magenta on his finger.

"Paint," Sae says, matter-of-fact. "It didn't really come off, though."

"Yeah," Shidou breathes. "Probably 'cause it's paint."

For the first time, Sae's lips quirk upward in an almost smile.

"How about tomorrow, then?" Shidou scrambles to say, before his brain short circuits. "For another session?"

"Sure," Sae replies. "Same time?"

"Works for me."

"Okay." With that, he turns on his heel and starts for the door. "I'll text you."

"You will?"

Sae casts an exasperated look over his shoulder. "The photos."

"Oh, yeah." Shidou can feel his face flush. "Right."

Sae shakes his head, then he's out the door without a 'goodbye'. Shidou rubs the back of his neck, staring at the spot he'd just been standing.

Later that day, his phone lights up with a new text message. Attached are a couple of photos of a boy with dark hair, though he has the same teal eyes and lower lashes as Sae. The brother, Shidou thinks. The photos are candid, as if Sae had no control behind them. He'd simply captured the boy existing. Despite the lack of posing, they're really damn good. The framing and color grading is perfect for what the shots are. Shidou also doesn't recognize the photos from either Sae's Instagram or his website.

Ryusei Shidou: damn, lashes. you've got a good eye.

Sae-chan: I know.

Ryusei Shidou: you should go pro

Sae-chan: sure.

-*-

Sae arrives at Shidou's studio again the next day.

Honestly, he feels like he might throw up. Being here, inside Pink Spider's very own studio? It was nerve-wracking. Especially with the endless amount of questions Shidou seemed to have for him.

The guy clearly had no idea who he was, which wasn't too surprising. Fame in the art industry didn't really count for much unless you were into the subject. Still, it was a relief. Under Ryusei Shidou's roof, he wasn't Sae Itoshi, famous photographer. He was just... Sae. Painting model.

The door opens, and Shidou's standing there with a shit-eating grin. "Sae-chan!" he sings, and Sae cringes at the nickname. "Come in! I got us coffee, but I realized I didn't know your order so I just guessed. Please tell me you like caramel."

"It's fine," Sae replies, stepping into the studio. He usually likes his coffee plain, but he wasn't going to complain. "...thanks," he offers after a moment of thought, if only to be polite.

Shidou picks up a cup of coffee off one of the tables and pushes it into his hands before Sae can blink. Then he takes a swig of his own cup, setting it down on the side table next to the canvas, which is currently covered by a sheet. "Alright! Let's get cracking!"

Sae takes his position up on the stool, setting his bag down to the side, and Shidou pulls down the sheet. He crosses his legs as Shidou picks up his brush and starts to mix his paints.

"Well, yesterday, I grilled you," Shidou says. "You got any questions for me?"

Sae blinks. And, well... Yes, he does. None of them were questions Shidou could possibly answer for him, though. Only through a camera lens would Shidou bare his soul to him. "Not really," he settles for. "I don't know you."

"Well, exactly! So surely you've got something on your mind about me," Shidou shoots back. "How long I've been doing art? Hobbies? The classes I'm taking?"

Sae takes a tentative sip of his coffee. It's sweet. "No," he says. "I don't care."

"You're a tough nut to crack, Sae-chan," Shidou sighs. "Really? You're not curious about a single thing?"

To appease him, Sae finally asks, "You like Blue Lock? It's a good school?"

"Oh yeah, great school," Shidou agrees chipperly. "It's a bit eccentric, but hey, it is an art school."

Sae hums in agreement.

"I've been doing art for most of my life," Shidou continues, even though Sae didn't ask. "Was drawing since I could pick up a crayon. Nothing else in the world interests me. I'm basically destined to be a starving artist."

"Great," Sae says.

"Okay, wow, it's like talking to a wall," Shidou snorts. "Come on, throw me a bone. I'm trying my best here."

"To do what, exactly?" Sae quirks a brow.

"Get to know you! Make you like me!" Shidou exclaims, waving his paintbrush. "I'm clearly interested in you. You've got to be blind not to see that, at least."

Interested? Unbidden, Sae's cheeks burn. "You can't be interested in me," he says stiffly. "You don't know me."

"Yeah, that's why I'm trying to," Shidou snorts. "That's how people get to know each other. They talk."

"And you're interested in me... why? Because I'm pretty ?" Sae scoffs, clutching onto his coffee cup a bit tighter. "Shallow reasoning."

"Well, why were you interested in me?"

Sae freezes. "I'm sorry?"

Shidou blinks, then hurries out, "I mean, you agreed to let me paint you, and you said you wanna photograph me. Surely you wouldn't do all that if you weren't interested."

Oh. Sae exhales. "I'm not," he says. "Interested in you."

"You were the one who said art has to have a purpose," Shidou points out. "So you must have a reason for wanting me to be your subject."

"I'm not answering that."

As if in victory, Shidou's lips curl upward in a grin. "So there is a reason."

"I never said that."

"You basically did," he sings. "You just don't want to tell me."

Sae turns his head to avoid looking at him with a small huff.

"Hey, look at me, lashes," Shidou snickers. "I kind of need to see your face for this."

Remembering the purpose of why he was here, Sae hurriedly faces him again, though it's with a deadpan expression.

"Can I guess, then?" Shidou asks.

"Knock yourself out," Sae sniffs.

"Okay, okay. Uhh... you think I'm pretty."

Sae eyes him scrutinizingly. "Sure, you're attractive," he muses, and Shidou sputters. "But that's not it."

"Okay, geez, just drop that on me. Hmm..."

"You're not going to guess it," Sae interrupts. Looking down at his coffee, he adds, "Because... I don't know myself."

"Huh." Shidou says. "Interesting. But you think I'm attractive?"

Sae's lip curls in disdain. "Objectively, yes."

"Go on a date with me, Sae-chan," Shidou urges, and Sae nearly falls off the stool.

"What? No," he says immediately, causing Shidou to cackle. "What? What's so funny?"

"You just don't make any kind of sense," Shidou laughs, wiping at his eye. "You're a real puzzle, Sae-chan."

"And you think you'll be the one to crack me?"

"Yeah," Shidou says with a sly grin. "I think I will. Hey, think you'd ever pose nude for me, Sae-chan?"

Sae's face burns red hot. "What is your issue?" he hisses.

"A little artistic nudity never hurt anyone," Shidou defends.

Unbelievable. Irritated, Sae snarks, "I'll pose nude for you the day you pose nude for me."

"Easy! Done, done, and done," Shidou says. "So when do we have the session?"

"I wasn't serious!" Sae exclaims, turning a sharp glare onto the painter.

Shidou has another bout of laughter, then his expression slowly shifts to something more serious. Taking another swipe across the canvas, he says, "I'm interested in you for more reasons than 'you're pretty', just so you know."

Sae has finally had enough. He can't stand it a moment longer. Why in the world would Pink Spider want anything to do with him? It didn't make any sense. It wasn't right. This isn't how their dynamic was supposed to be.

And yet...

Sae hungers. Fundamentally, his greed was different from the rest of the world. He longed to be the best. He chased perfection. He wouldn't settle for anything he didn't want.

Under the flash of his camera, Ryusei Shidou was perfect.

"If you're so interested in me, then prove it," Sae says.

Shidou blinks. "How? I'm painting you, aren't I? Is that not enough?"

"Come here."

Shidou doesn't hesitate- he sets down his paintbrush and makes his way over. He stands in front of Sae, still seated on the stool. Like this, he looms above the photographer. That just won't do.

When Sae speaks, he feels as if he's in a trance. "Get on your knees."

Shidou's eyes widen. Sae's almost do too. He's taken aback by his own words, about to curl in on himself in embarrassment. It's a command, the kind he would give to someone during a photoshoot. A show of control, to pose the subject exactly how he wanted them.

Slowly, Shidou sinks down onto his knees.

Something stirs in Sae's chest at the sight. At how easily Shidou obeys, at the power he holds over the other man. It's intoxicating. He could get drunk on it.

Sae can't break eye contact with the painter. Bright teal meets stunning pink, locked in on each other. Shidou's gaze is anticipatory. He's waiting for his next move, ready to receive it.

Sae swallows hard. He wishes this was a photoshoot- he wants to capture the sight forever. Pink Spider, kneeling for him without question.

"Sae-chan?" Shidou asks, breathless.

Sae stares down at him. He's unsettled by what he's feeling. Still, some darker part of him desires more. Wants to see how far he can take this. Find out what Ryusei Shidou's breaking point was.

"Touch yourself," Sae orders.

Shidou releases a shaky exhale, but he complies, palming himself through his black skinny jeans. He gives a small groan at the contact, and Sae notes the growing bulge. Fuck, he thinks, licking his lips. He's into it.

"Say my name," Sae whispers.

"Sae," Shidou gasps out. "Sae, please."

"Please what?"

"Fuck, you're sick," Shidou groans again. "You're real perverted up in that pretty head of yours, aren't you?"

"I don't know," Sae says coolly. He feels out of body, like he's watching this happen from above. It's unreal, otherworldly, having Pink Spider on the ground begging for more. "What do you want?"

"I want to take my pants off."

Sae hums, as if considering. "Then take them off."

Shidou doesn't waste any time. He unzips his jeans, shucking them off onto the floor next to him. He's left in nothing but his bright pink boxers, where his bulge is more prominent than ever. Sae nearly salivates at the sight.

"It looks like you have a problem there," he says.

"Fuck, Sae," Shidou practically begs. "Help me. Touch me. Please ."

"No," Sae replies. "You haven't proven you deserve it yet. Take care of it yourself. No, don't look away. Eyes on me."

Shidou's eyes, which had been falling down toward his dick, snap back up to look at Sae.

"Take care of it," Sae repeats. "Look at me."

Shidou slowly, carefully pulls down his boxers to his ankles, never breaking eye contact. Sae glances down only briefly as his dick springs free. Again, he swallows, desire coiling in his gut. Shidou's hand drifts down, and he wraps his fingers around it with a long moan of relief.

"Do you wish it was my hand curled around you right now?"

Shidou's head bobs.

"Good," Sae says. "Relieve yourself. Pretend it's me. That's the closest you'll ever get."

With a groan, Shidou begins pumping his fist. His breathing picks up, lips parted breathlessly to release even more lude noises. Sae watches stiffly as Pink Spider comes undone before him, fisting his own cock. Shamelessly, he masturbates in front of him, head tilted back but eyes fixed on him through the whole process.

"Sae," his name falls from Shidou's lips in a chant. "Fuck- fuck, Sae, just like that. Sae, please, please ."

Sae's own dick twitches in his pants, but he ignores it, captivated by the sight before him. Shidou's steady stream of words turns more incoherent the more he goes on, his movements becoming faster and more desperate. He bucks his hips up into his own hand, panting desperately like an animal.

"Sae," Shidou babbles uselessly. "Sae, Sae , I can't-"

"Stop," Sae commands.

Shidou does. He freezes in place, gaze burning, chest heaving.

"Tell me why you deserve to finish."

"Because you want to see it," Shidou gasps. A challenge.

Sae meets it with a cold gaze.

"You want to see me useless for you," Shidou adds. "You didn't even touch me, and I'm still cumming for you."

Why? Sae thinks. What was this obsession? This passion? This feeling? Why did Shidou feel so strongly for him? "You called me the pervert," Sae says, "Yet here you are, on your knees for a stranger. Would you really do anything to get your dick wet?"

"No," Shidou breathes. "You're just real special, Sae-chan."

Special.

"Stay there. Don't move." Sae gets up off the stool to kneel down by his bag, setting his coffee down. He roots through it until he finds his camera. The moment he pulls it from his bag, Shidou's breath quickens once more.

"Is this okay?" Sae asks.

Shidou clears his throat. "Yeah," he says hoarsely. "Yeah, it is. Fuck ."

Sae takes his place back on the stool, holding up his camera. He focuses in on Shidou at just the right angle- above him, looking down. Shidou's blown out pupils, his hand resting still on his dick, dripping and wet.

Click. Sae snaps a picture.

"Keep going," he orders. "Don't stop until you've finished."

Shidou doesn't have to be told twice. He continues his erratic movements, efforts doubled. As he does, Sae focuses the camera and continues taking shots. It's sick, but he derives a weird pleasure from it. The object of his fixation undone for him and him alone.

"Shit," Shidou pants, rutting against his own hand. " Sae . I'm gonna-"

"Do it."

Shidou paints the floorboards white. His dick spasms in his hand, his eyes rolling back up into his head with a final gasp. Sae bites his lip and takes another photo. Freezing the moment of Ryusei Shidou's pleasure in time.

"Good," Sae says. Then he turns the camera screen toward Shidou. "Now look at yourself."

Shidou whimpers .

"Fuck," the painter croaks, staring at the images Sae had captured of him.

"They're mine," Sae feels the need to say. "No one deserves to see these but us."

"You're full of surprises, Sae-chan," Shidou murmurs. "I didn't take you for a freak."

"You're the one sitting in your own mess," Sae points out.

"And who's fault is that?"

"Your own," Sae returns. He's dizzy with want. His dick is painfully hard. "You should clean that up." With that, he stands, picking up his bag and shouldering it.

"You're leaving?" Shidou asks incredulously.

"It looks like we're done painting for the day."

"Shit, but..." Shidou trails off as Sae starts for the door. "Wait! Can we meet again tomorrow? I've got class in the morning, but after..."

"Sure," Sae says over his shoulder.

"Did I prove myself?"

Sae stalls by the door, hand poised over the knob. "...we'll see," he says finally, pulling it open. Then he leaves, the door shutting behind him, separating him from Shidou. Only then does he feel like he can breathe.

The moment he's home, he locks himself in his room, sinking down into his bed. He looks at his camera in one hand, scrolling through the photos he'd taken while his other hand strays beneath the waistband of his boxers.

It doesn't take him long to finish to the images of Shidou.

-*-

Shidou can be a stalker too. Two can play at that game.

It doesn't take much to track down Rin Itoshi. Apparently, he shares a class with Bachira, which he discovers after some poking around. All he has to do is wait around for the class to let out before discreetly following the guy through the halls to the cafeteria.

The moment he sits down, Shidou approaches.

"Hey," he says, and Rin looks up. The moment he registers him, his eyes widen ever so slightly.

"You're-" Rin starts, then cuts himself off. His eyes narrow. "What do you want?"

Shidou sits himself down across from him. "I want your brother," he says without preamble, and Rin chokes. "I was hoping you could help me."

"Why the hell would I help you?" Rin exclaims. "What does that even entail?"

"I dunno, gimme some advice?" Shidou asks lamely, spreading out his hands. Memories of yesterday replay shamelessly in his head- how he'd masturbated in front of Sae Itoshi at his command. He's getting hot and bothered just thinking about it now. He'd been right about Sae- he was interesting, and he was worth the trouble of cracking open. Thing is, he was one tough nut. "What does he like? How do I get into his favor?"

Rin's lip curls. The expression is almost identical to when Sae does it. "You're already in his favor."

"How?"

"What do you mean, how?" Rin's brows furrow. "You- no, never mind. Look, he likes you, okay? You're fine."

"Does he talk about me?"

Rin hesitates. "...sure?" he says finally. Shidou quirks a brow. "I mean yeah, sometimes."

"I wanna go out with him," Shidou decides to lay his cards out on the table. "Like, on a date. How do I make that happen?"

The younger Itoshi gives a loud snort. "You don't," he says. "That's never going to happen."

"What?! I thought you said he liked me!"

"Sae doesn't do dates." Rin fidgets with his hands, clearly hesitating once more, then sighs. "My brother is really... lonely . He doesn't have friends. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person he talks to. He's just kind of like that."

Shidou is shocked. He'd figured someone like Sae must be popular. With his confidence and fame, surely he'd be surrounded by adoring friends. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously," Rin scowls. "I'm surprised he's even talking to you, to be honest. You want my advice? Be unconventional. He's not like 'normal' people. You won't impress him the way you'd impress someone else. He won't go out with you even if he wants to. He holds himself back."

Shidou turns this over in his head. At last, he says, "Okay. Hey, thanks, Rinrin. You're the goat."

"What?" Rin's scowl deepens. "Don't call me that."

"Hey, one more thing," Shidou adds. "Can you like, maybe not tell Sae about this conversation? I don't think it would go over very well."

Rin considers this with an uninterested gaze. Then he says, "Fine. Only because I know you're right."

"Great! Thanks!" With that, Shidou jumps to his feet, slapping the table. "See you around!"

"Absolutely not."

Around 2:00 PM, there's a knock on the studio door.

Shidou opens it, revealing Sae. His teal eyes meet Shidou's with a deadpan stare, betraying nothing about their interaction yesterday. Even so, it's all Shidou can think about. He's not usually one to take commands. Typically, he's the one in charge, calling the shots. But now he was practically tripping over his feet to follow Sae Itoshi's orders, to appease the photographer in front of him. He's not sure what he'd prefer at this point- him fucking Sae, or Sae fucking him, taking him apart piece by piece in that sick way of his.

"Shidou?" Sae asks impatiently.

"Yeah, hey," Shidou hurries out, stepping aside to let him in. "How's your day been?"

"Uninteresting."

"So what are we doing today?" Shidou asks, following after him into the studio.

"Painting?" Sae gives him a weird side-eye.

"No, I mean..." Shidou trails off lamely. "I thought I still had to... prove myself."

Sae stops then, his expression turning amused. If Shidou was any less bold, he'd feel shame, but he was as brazen as could be. Embarrassment wasn't a word in his vocabulary. He could match this guy's freak any day.

"Hmm," is all Sae says. "And how do you expect to do that?"

"I don't know," Shidou croaks. "I wanna impress you, lashes. Tell me how to do that."

Sae regards him with careful curiosity. "Start with finishing your painting," he says. "I'm sure we can figure something out."

All Shidou can do is nod.

It's an incredibly uneventful painting session. They don't talk much, save for an occasional comment from Shidou. Instead, he turns his focus onto the painting, putting his full attention on making sure it would be nothing but his best work.

By the time they wrap up, Shidou is almost done. He's pretty sure all they'll need is one final session to finish up some of the smaller details, then that'll be it. His excuse for seeing Sae would be over. He's not quite ready to admit that yet, though, so all he says is, "It's getting close. We should plan to meet again."

"Tomorrow?" Sae asks.

"Uh, yeah. I don't have classes on Tuesdays."

"I know." Sae pauses. "I mean, I think you mentioned that before."

"Must've," Shidou agrees, feeling almost giddy at the slip-up. "10 AM?"

"Fine by me." Before Sae is out the door, he adds, "Keep an eye on your phone."

"Why?"

"Just do it." Then the door shuts behind him, leaving Shidou waiting and wanting.

That night, as he's winding down in his bedroom after some video games with his roommates, his phone buzzes with a text.

Sae-chan: are you alone?

Shidou's heart leaps into his throat.

Ryusei Shidou: yeah

The next text nearly makes him drop his phone.

Sae-chan: finger yourself. take a video. pretend you're working yourself open for me. whatever you do, don't touch your dick.

Holy shit .

Already, Shidou is rock hard. He swallows, face burning as arousal coils in his stomach. But...

Ryusei Shidou: I have roommates

Sae-chan: and that concerns me why?

Ryusei Shidou: they'll, y'know

Ryusei Shidou: hear

Sae-chan: then be quiet.

Fuck . Shidou licks his lips, glancing around his room. The walls were pretty thin, but it's not like he's never jacked off here before. Still, this felt different. Way more intimate. Stroking his dick was one thing, but taking it up the ass?

Rin's words echo through his head. Be unconventional.

With a shuddering exhale, Shidou strips off his sweats and boxers. Next, he grabs his bottle of lube from his nightstand. He then sinks down onto the floorboards, positioning his phone camera at what he hopes would be a good angle. The moment he clicks record, he's sweating bullets. He's never done something like this for someone before, never. Somehow, that thought only made it hotter.

He coats his fingers in lube, not wanting to go in dry. Slowly, shakily, he presses a digit against his hole. The feeling is foreign, and he gulps. He wonders if his face is as red as it feels. With a burst of courage, he presses it through. His finger vanishes inside with a slick, wet pop, and Shidou stutters out a quiet moan.

"Fuck," he hisses. " Sae . Ahh..."

Unbidden, his mind wanders. He pictures magenta hair and bright teal eyes; long, fluttering lashes. He imagines Sae standing over him, watching him with that subtle look of curiosity. " Work yourself open for me." Maybe he's even holding that damned camera of his, snapping a photo of this shameful moment. Preserving Ryusei Shidou with a finger up his ass to remember forever.

He's so hard, it's painful. He doesn't dare touch his dick, though. Sae wouldn't be pleased. Instead, he grits his teeth and pushes another finger in. "Ah-" he gasps, giving almost a whimper. "Fuck, Sae..."

He envisions Sae's cold, uninterested stare, and it only serves to turn him even more on. Experimentally, he curls his fingers, testing out the feeling. After a couple cautious flexes, he brushes up against the right spot. This time, he has to clamp his free hand over his mouth to stifle his groan of pleasure. Only once it passes does he dare to move again, carefully working open his hole. Every brush against his walls sends pleasure shooting through his core, and it's almost impossible to keep quiet. He stutters muffled sounds against the palm of his hand, breathing turning labored.

It feels so good, it's almost sinful. Crouched on the floor of his bedroom, hole clenched around his own fingers, thinking about a man who wasn't even here. God, if only Sae were here. Shidou aches so badly for him he can't think straight. Every curl of his fingers has him moaning into his hand, Sae's face seared into his mind. What if it were Sae's fingers, thin and delicate, working him open like this? Sae, preparing him to take something even bigger? Shidou can't stand it. He thinks he'll go crazy with carnal desire. He's never felt this strongly before.

But he won't impress Sae like this. Shakily, he removes his hand from his mouth with another small noise. He'd want to hear it. Hear every sound Shidou made, thinking of him.

"Fuck, Sae," he gasps out. "Ahh... It's so good. You're so good. Fuck, I need you. I can't do this without you." Hot tears prick at his eyes as his fingers hit just the right spot again, eliciting a guttural groan. Rescued to tears for someone who could probably care less if he lived or died.

The arousal in his gut tightens as he finally forces in a third finger. It's not enough, nothing will ever be enough. His own fingers won't substitute for what he aches for. If only he really was preparing himself for Sae. If only the photographer really was standing over him, watching and snapping shots to add to his collection. Nothing was waiting for Shidou after this. The thought is so awful, it draws a whimper from him.

"I need you," he babbles, useless. "Need to feel you inside me. Please, Sae- ah - fuck-" He's so fucking close, and he speeds up his movements, slamming hard and fast into himself, bucking his hips back to meet his own hand. He chases that feeling with desperation, breathing hard, letting the tears fall from his eyes and slip down his cheeks. He doesn't think there's anything in the world he wouldn't do right now for Sae Itoshi.

Lost in his own pleasure, drowning in it, in the thoughts of teal eyes and long lashes, Shidou releases. It splatters onto his stomach and across the floorboards, messy and wild. The sensation is too much. Shidou tips his head back and gasps, panting as the high sweeps over him.

He'd just come from nothing but his fingers in his ass and the thought of Sae Itoshi.

As he comes down from it, head swirling, he barely remembers to pull his fingers out. They're wet and sticky, and Shidou stares down at them in awe. His hole clenches around nothing, desperate for more, achingly empty. He imagines Sae nodding in acknowledgment. "Good." Then he looks back up at his phone, dutifully recording the whole thing, and hurriedly turns it off.

Fuck. He sends the video off to Sae before he can think twice about it. Immediately, the read receipt pops up, as if he'd been waiting. Breathless, anxious, Shidou awaits a response.

The minutes tick by. Okay, he's probably just watching it. Shidou resists the urge to chew on his nails. What if he'd done too much? Or he hadn't done enough? Or Sae hadn't been into it? Or Shidou had somehow misread the instructions, or Sae thought his camera work was shoddy, or-

His phone buzzes. Shidou clutches it in shaking hands. Sae had sent him a video.

Holy shit.

Shidou opens up the attachment, barely daring to breathe. Sae is kneeling on the ground. As he leans back away from the camera, Shidou's eyes widen as he realizes the photographer is pantsless. He stares shamelessly at Sae Itoshi's dick, feeling his own harden again, which the man in question is now taking into his hand.

Sae's eyes flutter closed, long lashes brushing his cheeks. He gives a tentative stroke, releasing a small sigh, then continues pumping his fist. With every motion, his breathing quickens, small lips parted as he gasps. Still, he's quiet, never speaking or eliciting any noises beyond short breaths.

Shidou watches, enraptured, and he can't resist. His hand strays to his own dick, fingers closing around it, and finally begins to relieve himself. The touch feels incredible after how neglected it had been, and Shidou groans as he pumps his dick in time with Sae in the video.

Sae's breathing becomes labored. His face is flushed red. Finally, he gives a small sound. "Mmm. Ryusei ." That's all it takes for Shidou to blow his load a second time. Holy fuck . The thought of this beautiful, stoic genius touching himself to Shidou was too much. Shidou could almost weep.

Exhausted, head foggy with pleasure, Shidou can only watch as Sae's movements grow faster. His eyes snap open with a gasp, and that's all the warning he gets before Sae comes too.

Sae reaches for the camera, and the video ends.

Oh my god. Shidou can't believe his eyes. He's so shocked, head reeling, that he barely registers the next text that pops up.

Sae-chan: did you touch yourself?

Shidou types his answer with trembling fingers.

Ryusei Shidou: yeah

Sae-chan: I told you not to.

Shidou dials his number.

Sae picks up after the first ring. "What do you want?" he asks, voice clipped, as if he hadn't just been masturbating on video for Shidou.

"You don't understand how fucking bad I need you right now," Shidou replies, voice hoarse.

"I think I have some idea," Sae replies coolly. "I have an entire video of how bad you need me."

"I'll send another," Shidou says. "I'll send ten more. I'll jack off, I'll finger myself, I'll ride a toy, I'll beg on my hands and knees, I'll do fucking anything. Just let me touch you."

"You couldn't even obey the most simple instructions. Why should I listen to anything you have to say?"

"I'm sorry," Shidou whines, and he feels pathetic. "I couldn't help it. You do too much to me. And I know I do something to you too. You get off on this. Come on, indulge yourself in the real thing."

Silence. Then, "You're a masterpiece. Art should be looked at, not touched."

Shidou squeezes his eyes shut together, overcome with despair. "Are you just gonna toy around with me forever, then? Make me chase after nothing?"

"I'll do whatever I want with you. You like it that way, don't you?"

Shidou doesn't want to admit he's right. That whatever weird power dynamic they had going on turned him on like nothing else ever had. Sae Itoshi was unlike anyone he'd met before. It was like Sae saw him for who he truly was at his very core- the kind of understanding Shidou craved. He thinks back to the gallery exhibit, every brilliant photo a piece of the puzzle that was Ryusei Shidou. Sae had seen something in him worth capturing. Now, Shidou doesn't think he could live without him.

"I'm wrapped around your fucking finger," he breathes. "I'll follow you forever."

"Do you use that line on every stranger you meet in the park?"

"You're the only one. You'll always be the only one."

"...you had a pencil that day."

"What?"

"In the park. You had a pencil."

Shidou thinks back. Replays that interaction in his head. Then- oh. "I just wanted an excuse to talk to you," he admits.

"Why?"

He can't exactly tell him the truth. "Because you were the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on," he says. Not entirely false. "I couldn't pass up the chance."

"...finish your painting. I'll decide if your art is worth my time."

Before Shidou can ask what he meant by that, the phone line disconnects.

-*-

Sae prides himself in being cool, calm, and collected. He was stoic and aloof, above it all. But last night, he'd filmed himself masturbating and sent it to another man.

And Shidou had touched himself to it.

Sitting in the studio, perched on his stool, it's all Sae can think about as he watches Shidou paint. He'd fingered himself for Sae. Jacked off to Sae. Sent him a video of it. Sae doesn't know what to do with this kind of power. He thinks if he asked Shidou to crawl around on all fours, he would.

It was obsession. It was fixation. It wasn't right. It made more sense than anything in the world.

He's so lost in thought, he barely notices the time pass until Shidou sets down his brush.

"I think that's it," the painter says. "I'm done- for now. Until I notice a detail that's off and I go back and fix it, and-"

Sae slides off the stool and comes to stand by him behind the canvas. And- oh. His eyes widen at the work.

He knew Shidou was good. He'd seen some of his other portraits before. But this...

Shidou's captured him with stunning colors and delicate strokes. Sae feels like he's looking into a mirror. That's him, alright- the magenta hair, the teal eyes, the long lashes. The forlorn expression on his face, small lips pressed in a thin line. It's him from Shidou's point of view- serious and stoic, but... beautiful . Shidou had drawn him beautiful. It almost looks like a portrait of royalty, of some princess that would be hanging in a castle somewhere. And yet there's a softness to his features, one Sae would have never noticed. Shidou, with his artist's eye, had.

The painting should be framed and hung in a gallery somewhere. Sae could easily make it happen- could contact his people and find a show for Shidou to display his works at. He had a talent that deserved to be shared with the world. Yet selfishly, Sae wanted to keep it all to himself. He doesn't want anyone else to discover his Pink Spider and take him away.

His Pink Spider. When had Shidou become his?

"...do you like it?" Shidou asks quietly.

Like it? Something so magnificent couldn't be described in simple terms such as like or didn't like . Did Sae like the Mona Lisa? Did Sae like photography? Did Sae like Ryusei Shidou?

"Art is an explosion," Shidou says at his silence. "It's something we leave behind to remember us by. Now I'll always remember you, Sae Itoshi."

Sae opens his mouth to say something. Maybe that it's beautiful. Maybe that he loves it. Maybe to give an order that will express his feelings in a way words cannot.

Instead, he stills.

"What did you say?" he asks with a frown.

"...art is an explosion?" Shidou's brows furrow.

"You said my name."

"Uh, yeah, duh."

"I never told you my last name."

Shidou's eyes widen only slightly. It was enough for Sae to know that it hadn't been a harmless mistake on his part. Panic spiking in his chest, he steps back, hitting one of the long tables full of supplies behind him. He reaches out a hand and grabs ahold of an X-acto knife in a cup holder, brandishing it out toward Shidou.

"You know who I am," he accuses. "Have you been using me?! That's what this has all been about, hasn't it? You want my fame!"

"Whoa, hey!" Shidou raises his hands in surrender, but his eyes flash. "Okay, fine, I knew who you were. But let's not act like you're all innocent in this either!"

"What do you-"

"I saw your gallery, Sae-chan ," Shidou snarks, and it's Sae's turn to widen his eyes. "Yeah, and I don't remember consenting to a single one of those pictures you took of me."

"That was-" Sae stammers. "That's- How?!"

"My friend had a display in the same gallery," Shidou snaps. "So imagine my surprise when I see an entire wall with my fucking face in it."

"So what?" Sae challenges. "You decided to track me down and- what, get vengeance? Humiliate me in return? You wanted revenge porn?"

"No!" Shidou exclaims. "Y'know, a normal person would've been weirded the fuck out. Me? I just wanted to see what kind of guy my stalker was."

"I didn't stalk you," Sae hisses. "It wasn't stalking. I just- took photos. I never tried to learn anything about you, or- or break into your home. I didn't even know your name until we met in the park!"

"And that makes it okay?"

Sae lets the X-acto knife fall back to his side, his adrenaline fading. Now confronted with the truth, he doesn't know what to say. So Shidou had known the whole time. Had sought him out specifically because of the gallery. That made everything suddenly make a whole lot more sense.

"Why'd you do it?" Shidou asks. "Why take those pictures? Why me?"

"I don't know," Sae says lamely. "But you're right. It was wrong. I'm... sorry. If you want financial compensation, I'll give it to you. If you want it taken down, it's done. I'll... leave you alone."

"I don't want any of that," Shidou protests. "This entire time, I just wanted to understand why. Because when I saw those photos, I felt like I was seeing myself for the first time. You understood me in a way no one ever has. I was fucking floored. I just wanted to see what kind of guy could create that kind of explosion, and... yeah. I was impressed by what I found."

"I don't get it," Sae says lamely. He thinks he might be shaking. "So this isn't revenge? You aren't doing this to... hurt me back?"

"No," Shidou replies. "I just wanted to return the favor." He gestures at the painting now, which Sae turns his attention back to. "I never had a homework assignment. It was all a clever ruse!"

"Not very clever."

"Okay, well, it was working until I slipped up. And y'know, you slipped up way worse than I ever did," Shidou points out. "Fuck you mean, you know I go to Blue Lock University? We literally just met!"

Sae feels his face flush. "Whatever," he grits out. "This isn't funny."

"No, it's not," Shidou agrees. "But I think it's fucking incredible, y'know. Your work. It's a real masterpiece."

Sae's throat feels dry. "You're taking this really well."

"Maybe I'm into it."

"That's one sick fantasy."

Shidou shrugs. "You're the one who took the photos. I refuse to be the perverted one in this situation."

Sae hesitates. Then he asks, "Are you still... interested in me?"

"Oh, yeah," Shidou readily nods. "Fuck, I've been nothing but interested in you since I met you. I read your Wikipedia page."

Sae snorts. "Really? My Wikipedia page?"

"Yeah, really. I probably know more about you than you know about me."

"Your painting," Sae says, and Shidou pauses. "You called art an explosion. I think you were right. It's beautiful."

"You like it, then?" Shidou brightens. "I told you I'd blow you away."

"You did," Sae murmurs. "In more ways than one."

"I get it if you don't want anything to do with me anymore," Shidou says. "But fuck, Sae, I don't think I could bear it if we parted ways now. Nothing will ever measure up to you."

"I know," Sae states plainly. He's chased perfection all his life. He wasn't anything like these lukewarm insects infesting this planet and calling themselves human. But next to Ryusei Shidou, Sae Itoshi was nothing.

"I still owe you a photo session," Shidou says quietly.

Sae's heart skips a beat. "Yes," he returns. "You do."

"You wanna cash in on that?"

Sae stands at a crossroads. Before him are two choices: one where everything returns to normal, and one where nothing is ever normal again.

Fundamentally, though, his greed is like none other's.

"Are you sure?" Sae asks.

"I'm sure."

"I can't give you what you want," Sae whispers. "I'm wired wrong. I don't know how any of this works."

"Sae, all I want is you," Shidou says, reaching out and grabbing a hold of his wrist. The contact burns. "Any way I can have you. You drive me fucking crazy."

Sae's stomach is tied up in knots. He doesn't know what he wants anymore. Now that he can have it, he feels undeserving.

"Sae-chan?"

"My brother isn't home," Sae mumbles. "He'll be out all day with his friends after class."

Shidou licks his lips. "You wanna...?"

"My equipment is there," Sae says. "I'll have to get it." Not a total lie. His everyday camera is in his bag, like it usually is, but his more expensive ones are in his room.

"Well, I can't send you off alone," Shidou returns. "Besides, you know where I live," he adds teasingly. "We gotta make it equal."

"Fine," Sae replies. "I'm driving."

His apartment is quiet and empty, just like he'd promised. Shidou follows after him like a lost dog through the kitchen and living room to his bedroom. The moment they're inside, Sae makes a beeline for his shelf. Carefully, he selects his camera, but then glances over his shoulder when he realizes Shidou is no longer hovering by him.

The painter is staring at his wall.

Oh.

The wall covered in photos of him.

"I-" Sae starts lamely. If Shidou wasn't weirded out over the gallery, he definitely would be now. "I can... explain."

Shidou turns a sly grin onto him, setting a hand on his hip. "Holy shit, lashes. You really are obsessed with me."

Obsession was starting to feel like an understatement.

"C'mon, don't be shy," Shidou sings. "If you want me that bad, all you have to do is say it." When Sae doesn't reply, he adds, "I'll make my own gallery of you. Paint you a hundred more times 'till I can do it from memory."

"Take off your clothes," Sae says, something burning inside him.

Shidou blinks, then complies without question. He pulls down his jeans, drops his jacket onto the floor, and yanks off his shirt until he's in nothing but his boxers.

"Sit," Sae orders. "On the bed."

Shidou does, perching himself on the edge of Sae's bed. His pink eyes are curious, staring up at him and patiently awaiting the next command.

Sae swallows thickly and approaches, standing over him. His free hand reaches down to palm Shidou through his underwear, and the painter hisses at the contact. Sae's lips quirk upward, and he gives an experimental stroke. The noise Shidou makes is well worth his efforts.

"Look at you," Sae breathes in awe. "You're like a sculpture." Shidou is perfectly sculpted, his abs well defined and thighs toned. Sae thinks he might go mad just looking.

"Fuck, Sae," Shidou croaks. His gaze is needy. " Ah - keep going."

Sae pulls his hand away, and Shidou whimpers. "Take it off," Sae says. "I told you to strip."

Shidou immediately shucks down the boxer shorts, tossing them into the pile of his other clothes. Now, his dick springs free, rock hard, and Sae revels at the sheer size of it.

"Put on a good show," Sae commands, "And I'll touch you again."

The painter bites out a low groan at the words. "What... what do I do?"

"What do you think?"

Shidou shifts his position on the bed, now fully on it. Biting his lip, he looks at Sae as if asking for permission. Sae simply raises his camera.

Throat bobbing, Shidou raises his fingers to his mouth and sticks them inside. Sae watches, captivated and intrigued, as he sucks on the digits. Rolling them around in his mouth, eyes on Sae. Sae is quick to line up the right angle and snap a picture. His cock twitches in his pants.

When Shidou pulls his fingers out, they come slick and wet with saliva. "Hey, I'm posing for you nude," he says, "That means you have to pose for me next."

Sae rolls his eyes but doesn't give him the satisfaction of an answer. Maybe he would pose naked for Ryusei Shidou. Who knew what the future had in store?

Shidou maneuvers himself into a different position, and his fingers brush against his hole. "Hah... if I work myself open, will you fuck me, Sae-chan? Or can I fuck you? I don't know what sounds more appealing anymore. I'd do it any way you wanted."

"Why not both?" Sae says haphazardly, and Shidou sucks in a sharp breath. "Dare to dream bigger."

"Fuck," Shidou groans, and slips a finger in. Sae watches in awe as his hole practically sucks it in. Watching the video had been one thing. Seeing it in real life? An entirely different story. "I thought about you watching me while I did it," Shidou pants. "How you'd look, just like that. Ah... like none of it even matters. Like I'm just whoring myself out for you."

Sae licks his lips. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Getting fucked like a whore." He adjusts his own position for a different angle, taking another couple of shots.

"Mm... n-no..." Shidou stutters, even as he sticks in his second finger. "I always thought- ah- I'd be in control."

"And are you?" Sae quirks a brow. "Are you in control?"

"No," Shidou whines. The camera goes off again.

"You like it better this way," Sae states plainly. "Being told what to do and how to do it."

"Fuck... you know how to get me off." Shidou's fingers continue working himself open. The sounds he elicits are lude and shameless, rutting back against his own hand and panting. Sae continues snapping photos as he sees fit, capturing every debauched moment.

"Ah- Sae," Shidou moans, and Sae shivers. " Sae - fuck, I-I'm close... shit- hah..."

"Don't you dare finish," Sae threatens. "Are you loose enough?"

"Mm... maybe..." Shidou gasps. "Feels so good, but you would feel better."

"Then stop," Sae says. Shidou does, pulling his hand away. His hole clenches over nothing. Sae can't help but take a photo. It's pornography, dirty and lude. Shidou's body, bare for his camera lens. Just for him.

Sae sets his camera down and tugs his turtleneck off. Shidou stares hungrily, gaze darkening, as he strips off his pants and boxers.

"Holy fuck," Shidou rasps. "You're fucking beautiful."

Sae's face flushes, but he crawls onto the bed. He pushes Shidou over onto the mattress, sprawled on his back. Shidou lets him, laying flush against the sheets.

Sae clambers over him, grinding down his length over Shidou's. The painter's eyes roll back in his head as he moans, hands reaching up to grip Sae by the waist, fingers digging into skin.

"Need you, Sae," he pleads. "Fuck, I'm so empty without you. Need you to breed me. Fill me up."

Sae's eyebrows raise. "Breed you?"

"Till I'm pregnant. Or till you're pregnant. I don't care."

"Hmm," Sae considers this, though there isn't much to consider. They're both biologically male- that could never happen. Still, if Shidou was into it... "You wanna knock me up, Ryusei? Think that means you could have some claim to me?"

"Ah..." Shidou's breathing is erratic. "Y-yeah..."

Sae grips a fistful of his hair tightly, and Shidou gasps. "You're mine," he says. "I don't like sharing. I should lock you away forever. No one in the world deserves to have you except for me."

" Shit ..." Shidou groans. "Possessive, huh...?"

Sae leans down to capture his lips in a searing kiss. Shidou reciprocates hungrily, diving into him. Sae isn't satisfied with this for long, though. He pulls back, leaving a trail of drool between them.

He moves his hand down to stroke a finger down Shidou's dick. Shidou shudders, bucking up into the touch, but Sae holds him down with his other hand. "Stay still," he whispers into the shell of his ear. "This is your reward. Enjoy it."

With that, he begins pumping his fist up and down Shidou's length. Shidou moans shamelessly, head thrown back against the sheets. He ruts up against Sae's hand, desperate for friction, but Sae tsks and forces him back down with another kiss. He lazily explores Shidou's mouth as he jacks him off, every touch eliciting a new noise against his lips.

He pulls away to catch his breath, Shidou panting beneath him.

"Fuck," Shidou gasps. "Ah- Sae, fuck, just like that..."

"You like feeling good, don't you?" Sae asks, breathless. "That's what happens when you behave. You get to feel good."

"Ahh..." Shidou's eyes practically roll into his skull as Sae picks up his pace. "Don't stop, don't stop, I'm gonna-"

"Already?" Sae's hand stills, and Shidou desperately squirms under him. "No, none of that. You'll finish when I say you finish."

"What... what do I have to do?" Shidou pleads. "Please, Sae, lemme-"

He breaks off as Sae reaches over for the nightstand, pulling out a small bottle of lube. Holding it out to Shidou, he states plainly, "Fuck me good and you can finish."

"Fuck you?" Shidou stares up at him like a starving animal. Like he's a prisoner on death row, and this is his last meal. "Really?"

"Don't make me say it twice."

Shidou snatches the lube out of his hands. He coats two of his fingers in it, then carefully raises them to Sae's ass. "You dream of this, Sae-chan?" he teases, circling around Sae's hole. "Just couldn't wait to get me under you, huh?"

Sae meets him with an unamused stare. His hand drifts to Shidou's neck, running his fingers over the delicate skin. "I dream about a lot of things," he says, contemplative as he wraps his hand around Shidou's throat. He feels the painter swallow against it. "Art. Fame. Perfection. What makes you think I think of you at all?"

"'Cause your wall's covered in photos of me," Shidou points out.

Sae squeezes lightly, testing the reaction. Shidou's eyelashes flutter with a small groan.

"Ah, don't worry, Sae-chan," he pants. "I'm just as obsessed with you as you are with me." As if to prove the point, he sinks a finger in. Sae stiffens at the sudden contact, hand tightening around Shidou's throat. He can't help but gasp as Shidou unceremoniously plunges in his second finger as well, the painter grinning deviously at his reaction. "You like that, Sae-chan? Do I make you feel as good as you make me feel?"

Sae closes his eyes as Shidou's fingers curl inside him. It does feel good, too good. He needs more. "Ah... Ryusei," he says quietly. He's not usually vocal, but he thinks Shidou could use the encouragement.

Sure enough, Shidou's gaze darkens, and he picks up his pace. Sae gasps and sighs above him as he works him open, resisting the urge to grind down against his fingers. Instead, he lets himself be carried away by the raw feeling of it all, holding Shidou by the throat like a lifeline. He can feel his pulse in his skin, wild and erratic.

Then Shidou pulls out, and Sae's eyes open again, ready to scold him. He feels achingly empty without his fingers, like they'd been there all his life. "Ryusei-"

"Can't take it any longer," Shidou says, licking his lips. "Need to fuck you, Sae. You look fucking delectable. You have no idea what this is doing to me, watching you get off on my hand."

Oh. Well, Sae can easily trade fingers for something better. He leans back, releasing his hold on Shidou's neck and allowing the painter to slick his dick up with lube. Once it's done, Shidou tosses the bottle to the side.

"Lemme get on top of you, Sae-chan," he sings, but Sae doesn't budge, even as he tries to flip their positions.

"I'm just fine where I am," Sae says. "You forget your role in this. You aren't in control."

"Fuck," Shidou practically whimpers as Sae positions his entrance over the painter's length. "Ah- do you want me to...?"

Sae slams himself down on him. Both gasp at the sensation, Shidou's hands flying to grip his waist again, and Sae filled with intense pleasure. He shifts his weight against Shidou, testing how it feels, and Shidou gives a low moan. Finding his footing, Sae lifts himself up and plunges back down, bottoming out. He chases the sensation, pounding himself up and down on Shidou's dick while the painter writhes beneath him, crying out.

"Ah- Sae, you're so good," he babbles uselessly. "Ohh, holy shit, oh my god. You're fucking perfect- ah- fuck, just like that-"

"Ryusei," Sae groans out, lost in his own pleasure. His hands find purchase on Shidou's shoulders, nails digging into his skin. He rides him, shameless, filling himself up. When Shidou hits him at just the right spot, a cry spills from his lips, and he slams down again. Fucking himself stupid on Ryusei Shidou.

Shidou's hands tighten around his waist. "Oh, baby, yes," he whines, "I'm all yours, take it, everything... wanna be- ah- inside you forever..."

Sae's movements become sloppy the more lightheaded he gets. His mind is a haze of pleasure, foggy and cloudy. Shidou helps him carry on his pace, lifting him up and down when he's unable to do it himself anymore. Sae, fully blissed out, sees stars. Nothing has ever felt as right as this does.

"Gonna blow," Shidou hisses. "Please lemme, baby, please-"

"Do it," Sae orders. "Finish, Ryusei. Inside me."

That's all it takes for Shidou to release. Sae feels it fill him- a weird, foreign sensation, but not entirely unpleasant. One hand flies to his own dick, and he strokes it once, twice, before he's finishing too, all over Shidou's chest. White hot pleasure spikes through every nerve of his body, and he slumps over on top of the painter as he comes down from his high, numb and satisfied.

"Fuck," Shidou mumbles. Distantly, Sae feels a hand stroking his hair. "Incredible. God, you're so fucking beautiful."

Sae hums in response, eyes closing. "You did good," he murmurs.

"Good enough for a round two someday?"

"I think that's in order."

Sae feels a gentle kiss on the side of his head. Warm hands run up and down his body in reverence, sending a shiver down his spine.

"You're a masterpiece, Sae Itoshi," Shidou says appreciatively. "Lemme treat you like one. Again. Today. Tomorrow. Forever."

"Forever, hmm?"

"I'm never getting something this good again in my life."

"No, you're not," Sae agrees.

"And as much as I'd love to stay inside you forever," Shidou continues, sounding amused, "We should get cleaned up."

Sae hums again in agreement, though he makes no move to pull away. He's savoring this moment, Shidou's skin against his, both of them nothing and everything at once.

"Or we can just lay here for a bit," Shidou says, snaking his arms around him. "That works too."

"Ryusei," Sae whispers. "I want you in my life, so stay in it."

"Yessir," Shidou replies happily. "As long as you'll have me for."

"Good," Sae returns. Content, he lets himself relax, Shidou's fingers carding softly through his hair.

Everything else could wait. He finally had his muse.

-*-

"Okay, okay, open your eyes," Shidou says excitedly, removing his hands from over Sae's head.

Sae blinks, then turns his bright teal stare to the wall in front of him. His lips part in a small 'o' as he takes in the sight.

Shidou had gotten into a gallery. It had taken a month, with help from Sendou and Aiku to find one, but his submission had been accepted. Of course, he'd invited Sae to come see it. Had invited his friends too, duh, but they'd be arriving later. He wanted Sae to be the first to lay eyes on it.

"I returned the favor," Shidou says smugly.

It's a collection of portraits, all of Sae. Some were based on photos, others drawn simply from memory. Shidou had tried to instill his attention and fixation into every work, with each careful paint stroke and swatch. He'd spent hours pouring his heart and soul into them.

Now, he watches as Sae studies them, expression unreadable. At last, the photographer turns to face him.

"It's me," he says, as if that wasn't obvious.

Shidou snorts. "Yeah, it's you."

"I never posed for these."

"You didn't have to." Shidou taps the side of his head with a grin. "I've got a perfect memory."

Sae clicks his tongue, but it's obvious he's pleased by the way his eyes flicker with emotion he'd never express out loud. "It's very nice," he murmurs. "You didn't have to do all this for me."

"What can I say?" Shidou returns. "I'm just obsessed with you."

Sae's lips twitch upward in the slightest of smiles, and he intertwines his hand with Shidou's. "Good," he says stiffly. "I wouldn't have it any other way."