Chapter Text
Hey! Long time no see! Remember me? No?! Don't you recognize me?! Um, I expected more. Anyway, it doesn't matter right now. I have an offer that you can't refuse! Are you willing to listen?
Great! I love people who are willing to spend their precious time on me. Do you know Stanley Pines? Yes, the younger twin brother of Sixer! He is even fatter, dumber and does not have six fingers like his brother. What? The one who defeated me? Pfft, what nonsense?! He did not defeat me! I am still here, completely alive! A-l-i-v-e!
Argh, I digress. Everyone has moments they want to hide from others. It could be something shameful, something funny, something sad, something terrible. Anything! Stanley Pines is no different from other people. He's spent his whole life hiding things, keeping everything to himself, trusting no one. Heck, he's just as paranoid as his brother, if not more so!
What do I mean by that? Well, here's the thing: I've been inside his head! I've seen everything that this old fool has been hiding for most of his life! I don't mind sharing some of his worst memories with you. But everything has a price, right? " There's no such thing as a free lunch" as you people say.
No, no, no, I'm not going to ask you for a lot of money. You don't have any, and I don't need any! You can't build an interdimensional portal either, so there's no point in even asking for it. I'm only asking you for one thing: be my friend.
What, you think there's some kind of trick here? No! Honestly, I can even swear with my own eye if you don't believe me. Stanley Pines' memories aren't that valuable, even if they're something no living soul has ever known about until today.
Let our travel show begin! The only way to lose is to be Stanley Pines! Our great show is sponsored by SHAME.
“SHAME: ™
The only friend who will never leave you!”