Chapter Text
Eloise quit the dance floor after Lord Morrison insulted the entire female sex while trying to flatter her. She started to head upstairs when her mother stopped her. “Eloise, I invited Lord Morrison specifically for you. He is known to share your rebellious spirit.”
“My rebellion is not some party dress I put on to play a part, Mama, and it is certainly not some accomplishment I have developed like singing or painting to help me attract a suitor. I know I am a disappointment to you, so just allow me to take my leave and go to bed.” With that, Eloise turned and ran up the stairs to the Bridgerton wing of Aubrey Hall, sobbing as she went.
Penelope started after her. “El—”
“I wish to be alone,” Eloise responded just as she crested the top of the stairs and left the ballroom.
Now Penelope was well and truly on her own at the ball, both of her best friends having absented themselves since Colin did not even come down to the ball at all. Penelope took a turn around the room, looking for something to occupy her attention, but she was too worried. After about a quarter of an hour, finding herself back at the same place she started, part way up the stairs, she looked around and, seeing that as usual, no one was paying her any mind, she stole up the stairs towards the Bridgerton wing of the home as well.
She had been best friends with Eloise and Colin for nearly ten years now and had been a guest at Aubrey Hall so frequently that most of the Bridgerton family referred to her as their ninth sibling. She knew precisely where Eloise’s bedchamber was. She quietly knocked on the door and heard a “Go away” from inside.
“El, it is me,” she replied.
“Pen? Come in,” came the reply.
She had hoped that Eloise would want to see her, even if she was upset. Penelope opened the door and saw her lying on her bed, still in her pale pink ballgown. She had kicked her slippers off and thrown her jeweled tiara on the floor near them. As Penelope approached her bed, Eloise looked up through red-rimmed eyes with tear streaks down her face.
Penelope softly asked, “Are you well? What happened with Lord Morrison?”
“He was horrible. He only wanted to spike the punch with brandy and said that many young ladies cannot even articulate a thought after I impressed him by quoting Locke. I could not stand to be in his presence a moment longer and knew I was making a scene. I also knew if I went anywhere other than up here to bed, someone would follow me.”
Penelope’s face flushed at this. “Forgive me, El. I only wanted to make sure you were well. I did not mean to disturb you.”
“Oh, Pen, I did not mean you, of course. You are always welcome, and I do appreciate you. You are my dearest friend, closer than my sisters. I am well, but I do wish to go to sleep now. I shall see you at breakfast.” Penelope embraced her friend and left her room.
As she closed the door behind her, an idea crossed Penelope’s mind. Colin had not been at the ball either, which was out of character for him, as he was a most social person. In fact, the only time she could remember that he had missed a ball since she had debuted was the first of this season, prior to his returning from Greece, and they had danced at least once at every ball, apart from last season’s Hastings Ball. Penelope had been upset after Colin had told her that he was leaving for Greece the next morning, and she had told him she was too tired to dance when he had suggested it.
She wanted to make sure he was also well, and of course, she knew where his bedchamber was, though being a lady, she had never been inside it. She looked around and, seeing no one, decided to be a little bold. She would just check and make sure all was well before going back to the ball. She climbed to the floor his chamber was on and turned toward his room. She was apprehensive as she approached his door, knowing that it was quite inappropriate, but then again, when had their “friendship” she thought, choking on the word, ever been appropriate? Certainly not for several years. She took another look around, took a deep breath, swallowed her apprehension, and knocked before she came to her senses.
“Who is it?” came a voice from inside.
“It is Penelope,” she whispered loudly, leaning and putting her mouth right to the place where the door meets the jamb, as though trying to make sure he could hear her, but no one else.
“Pen?” came the startled reply.
“Yes, it is me,” she whispered again.
“Just a moment.”
She stood there looking around nervously for what seemed to her like an eternity but was likely less than a minute before the door opened and Colin was standing there in his shirtsleeves, rolled up to the elbow, his bracers and his breeches, and stocking feet. Penelope had seen him like this before, of course, having been around him for a decade, but his beauty still took her breath away every time.
“Pen, what are you doing here?” he asked curiously.
She gulped. “You, uh, were not at the ball. I just wanted to check that you were well.”
Colin leaned out into the hallway, looked quickly in both directions, and then grabbed her gloved hand and pulled her inside, shutting the door securely behind them. “It is better for us to speak in here rather than risk someone walking by and seeing us speaking with me dressed so… casually.”
Penelope nodded absently as she looked around the room, taking in his bedchamber for the first time. The room looked like Colin; it was decorated in shades of deep blue that matched his eyes with accents of gold. To the left, there was a writing desk covered with charts and letters, as well as a wardrobe. Directly across from the door was a roaring fireplace with two comfortable-looking chairs upholstered in stripes of the same deep blue and gold set at an angle facing one another. To the right, Pen gulped again as she took in a large, comfortable-looking bed of dark wood with a yellow gold coverlet. Colin motioned her to one of the chairs by the fireplace.
“I do not wish to impose on your evening. I only wanted to see that you were well. It is unlike you to miss a ball,” she said.
Penelope found herself feeling quite nervous being in Colin’s chambers, even though she knew he did not think of her as a woman; having told her so only weeks ago.
“Please, sit a moment, Pen,” he said, motioning again to one of the chairs.
Penelope sank down into the chair on the left, laughing as her feet dangled several inches from the floor. Colin laughed as he sat in the chair facing hers. “Do you fit on any furniture?” he teased.
“Only the furniture in the nursery, I am afraid,” she jested right back.
They shared a comfortable, hearty laugh at that, the laugh of people who had been friends a long time.
“You really are very good, Pen, and you look very lovely this evening,” his face softened as he said. “You snuck out of the ball and up here just to check on me?”
“Well, if we are being honest, not only you. Eloise left the ball upset after your mother facilitated a dance between her and Lord Morrison that did not end well.”
He groaned. “Lord Morrison? She did not. He dislikes women more than nearly anyone I know.”
“She did, and it went exactly as well as you would imagine. Eloise caused a bit of a scene when he insulted the female sex, and she ran up to her bedchamber. I gave her a little bit of time and came up to check on her. She is well; she just wanted to go to sleep. I only thought that since I was already up here, I should tempt a little scandal and check on my, um, other favorite Bridgerton.”
Colin threw his head back and laughed. “Come on, Pen, we both know I am your favorite. We just let Eloise think otherwise.”
Penelope blushed, and they both laughed again.
“I am well, Pen. I just did not feel like attending a ball tonight.”
“After your visit with Marina?”
“Mmm,” he replied, nodding.
“How is she?”
“She is content. She has twins, Oliver and Amanda. Sir Philip is a fine man with a passion for plants who let me drone on about my Grecian adventures for quite a while, almost as long as you, although neither of them laughed at my olive joke, and I am certain you would have.”
They both chuckled again.
“She does not seem happy, though.”
“Well, she is still mourning the death of the man she loved. I can only imagine how difficult that would be.”
Colin looked pensive and replied, “Hmm, I suppose that is true. I had not thought of it like that.”
“Did it help you, though?” she asked. “To visit her?”
She looked at him, and he paused, blinking rapidly as his eyes shone with unshed tears. “I think it did. While I was away, there was still a feeling that something was unfinished, that with Lady Whistledown revealing her condition so quickly, I never got real closure. I thought I loved her, Pen, and I thought she loved me too. I'm not sure if you knew this, but we were going to go to Gretna Green to be married. She told me that your family did not want her, that your mother was cruel to her, her father did not want her, and I wanted to save her. So we were to leave that day. I came downstairs, and my mother was there with the Whistledown that told everyone what a fool I had been, that it had all been a lie, and I had never even known her. I guess the reason I went to see her was to get closure, to apologize for how I reacted in the aftermath, and to tell her I forgive her too for trying to trick me and take advantage of my foolishness. But she did not want my apology or my forgiveness. I never really knew her at all.”
Penelope reached over and took his hand in hers. “I suppose at least you got closure, and now you can move forward.” There was a pause as they thought about that, and then Penelope spoke again. “I am sorry that you felt foolish. I told you at Daphne’s ball last year you are not a fool. You never have been. You are the kindest, most caring person I have ever known, and you thought you were in love. That is not foolish. I am glad that you got closure, but I sincerely wish it had not hurt you to get it. I never wish to see you hurt.”
He smiled warmly when she said those words, and they sat in comfortable silence, hands still clasped. Then Penelope looked at the clock on the mantle and realized that she had been in his bedchamber for nearly an hour. Although she was unlikely to be missed by anyone, since, as she was frequently told, she was so very forgettable, there was always a small chance someone would notice she had disappeared, though it would most likely be one of the other Bridgertons. She slid forward in the chair so her feet hit the floor and stood.
“I should go. I did not intend to disturb you; I only meant to see that you were well.”
“You are never a disturbance, Pen. I always enjoy your company.”
“As do I, Colin, of course, but I have already been here nearly an hour, which could be quite scandalous,” she said sarcastically, since no one had ever paid enough attention to her to notice that their relationship had long laughed in the face of polite societal rules. “If I were anyone else, someone would have noticed I was gone and have burst in by now,” she said with a self-deprecating chuckle.
“Well, if they did, we would just have to marry, I suppose,” Colin replied, sounding more serious than Pen expected, considering he was clearly joking as well.
“Ha ha, Colin, funny jest. I would never require that of you. I know you wish to marry for love. If someone were ever to try to force you to marry me, I would just refuse and take the social ruin. I already know I am unlikely to marry; I would never dream of ruining you as well.”
“Penelope.” That got her attention, as he very rarely used her full given name; she was almost always just Pen. “You must not say such things about yourself. You will find love, and you will marry, I am sure of it.”
“Well, thank you for all your kindness, but as I said, it is a good thing that no one pays me any attention, for your sake.” She moved to the door. He put his hand on the door and stopped before opening it for her.
“You know, Lady Crane was right about you.”
“Lady Crane? What did she say?” Penelope gulped nervously.
“She said that you cared for me, that you would never forsake me. I am beginning to believe that now.” He smiled a shy but fervent smile at her, and she smiled broadly back at him.
“Well, Lady Crane was correct. Good night, Colin.”
He grabbed her gloved hand and gave it a squeeze. “Good night, Pen. Thank you for coming to check on me. It was very sweet of you. I am sorry I missed the ball, and I owe you an extra dance at the next one to make up for it.”
She blushed as he opened the door, and she walked out. She waited until the door was closed, then smiled hugely, her heart swelling as she nearly skipped down the hallway back towards the ball. She realized she should be checking for people, but she saw no one and was able to slip back into the ballroom unnoticed. As she did, she heard twitters that Prudence had been compromised by Cousin Jack and they were now betrothed. Oh no, she thought to herself. While I was off having one of the best conversations of my life, I missed a huge piece of gossip that I may need for Whistledown. I had best work my way around the ballroom to see what details I can scare up. Luckily, Lady Bridgerton’s balls were known to be so enjoyable that no one wished for them to end until the early hours, so there was plenty of time to get what she needed.
Colin closed the door behind Pen and leaned against it with a thoughtful smile on his face. What is happening? he thought to himself. He had always had the fondest feelings for Penelope. After all, they had known each other for almost half of his life and had been close since the first day. He had always felt more comfortable speaking with her than with any of his siblings, apart from perhaps Daphne, but their conversations were always different from those with Daphne, not at all like a sibling. They had always had lively correspondence whenever they were separated. When he went off to Eton and found himself missing their conversations, he had decided to write her a letter, knowing full well it was not really appropriate. But since neither were in society at the time, he thought it would be alright for the time, and they would just stop when they had to. They never did. This past summer, when he was in Greece, most of his family stopped writing him after a short time, but not Pen. She responded quickly and with lively, engaging letters to each and every one he sent her. She asked questions about what he was seeing and encouraged him to try new things. In fact, she was the one who encouraged him to travel at all after the disastrous affair with her cousin last season. Something had changed while he was in Greece. He found himself wondering what Penelope would think about what he was seeing, or wishing she was with him, comparing the sunsets to her fiery hair and the color of the oceans to her aquamarine eyes. He was sure it was just a product of being alone and missing his family and friend, but then again, he did not wish that Eloise or Benedict was there with him, only Pen.