Chapter Text
By no means was it a great day for Xiao. Firstly, he woke up before his alarm thanks to nightmares. Then, he tried to find that one shirt that would’ve gone perfectly with the outfit he planned for the day, only to realise that his brother had put it in the laundry after it laid on his chair for the past couple of days, untouched. So when he was walking down for breakfast in a plain black tee and jeans, he was in quite a foul mood, only for it to worsen when he found out that Zhongli had already left for work and had eaten all of the leftovers from yesterday’s dinner. Which meant Xiao had to prepare something to eat on this god-forsaken hour all by himself. He settled for some oatmeal, not even trying to make it look appealing. After he was done, he put on his shoes and left for school.
It was not the end of his troubles. On a day as lucky as that one, there had to be a traffic. When his bus finally pulled up, not only was it late but also full of people. And the worst of it all- people he could recognize. So with his immensely outgoing nature, he decided to wait for the next one. When after 20 minutes there was still no sight of the vehicle, pissed off Xiao with a new-found desire to die, stormed off in the direction of his school. Obviously, he was late.
And that was only the morning. At school, he was questioned in his English class, which was the only subject he was shitty at. Then he had to work in groups chosen by the teacher in Physics. After that, he found out he left his money at home and couldn’t buy himself a lunch, which led to him starving until Aether realised he hadn’t eaten anything and shoved his homemade bento down Xiao’s throat.
So yeah, by then Xiao could already say that it was a crappy day. At least he had martial arts classes later on. He could beat some students as a stress relief.
Yeah, this day still has a chance to get better.
***
He was working on his assignments, when someone came up to him.
“I should kick your ass for eating my brother’s lunch, y’know?”
Xiao lifted his gaze from his desk to look at Lumine. Even if her words were threatening her face was pulled in a grin. Xiao, used to her way of speech completely ignored her and looked back at his homework. He heard a quiet sigh and suddenly there was a chair being pulled beside him. He didn’t even have time to react before Lumine was already sitting next to him mumbling under her breath. She laid down on his desk and propped her head on her hand silently looking into his eyes. Xiao had to admit it was quite unnerving but he was nothing if not stubborn. He focused his gaze solely on the piece of paper before him trying to ignore the presence beside him. Thankfully, Lumine was Lumine, awfully impatient, and after few seconds of sitting in awkward silence, she finally gave up.
“As chatty as always, I see” she grumbled. She straightened her back and looked at his homework. “Ah, you are already doing it? You know it’s due next Tuesday, right?”
“Just because you like to waste your time doesn’t mean I can’t be productive.”
“Just because I am not a socially awkward e-boy who considers human interaction a waste of time doesn’t mean I’m not productive.”
Based.
Silence fell over them again. Surprisingly, it was Xiao who broke it this time.
“What.”
“What ‘what’?”
“What do you want?”
“Is it really so hard to believe I’m just trying to have a chat with my dear ol’ friend?” She asked.
“Yes.”
They looked at each other. Lumine squinted her eyes at him and finally let out a deep sigh.
“I think I should be concerned for your self-esteem if you can’t believe someone wants to talk to you.”
“Not someone. You.” He deadpanned.
“Wow, now you are making me feel bad…”
“As if you are capable of caring for something like that.”
“Nah, seriously, what do you take me for?”
“A sociopath.”
As an answer, she smacked the back of his head. If anyone was there to ask him, she just proved his point by doing so. She crossed her arms and kept her gaze from meeting his eyes.
“Whatever. But you are right, I just came here to inform you that our martial arts class was canceled.” She said in a dismissive tone. Smirking, she slowly unfolded her arms and started speaking again “But when I finally saw you I thought it would be fun to tease you for a while.” Finally, she looked back at him and was about to say something more but suddenly a wave of concern hit her like a truck.
“Xiao?”
She didn’t know how or why but Xiao suddenly looked 10 years older. His skin seemed paler and his face showed even less emotions than usual. In a matter of seconds, he seemed to become so exhausted with life, looking as if he was about to end himself.
“Hey, are you alright?!”
Xiao looked at her with empty eyes. “What did you just say?”
“What does it matter? You look like your soul got sucked out of your body!” He didn’t reward her with an answer, so she bombarded him with more questions. “Have you slept well? Or is it food poisoning? It better not be, I was the one making lunch today!” She exclaimed. Xiao still was unresponsive. “Should I go get the nurse?”
The question finally broke him from his weird trance. “No.” He said curtly.
Fucking fantastic.
He stood up and started packing his things.
“Huh? What are you doing?”
“Going home.”
“You are aware we still have two classes left, right?”
“I don’t care.” He replied zipping his backpack and putting it on.
“Are you are kidding me? You are kidding me. Xiao? XIAO GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE OR I’M GONNA-”
He didn’t get to hear her last words before he slammed the classroom door shut.
This day was officially the worst day of the month. Admittedly, the month just started but whatever. The only thing that could have had redeemed this day got cancelled, as if it was nothing. It wasn”t.
Why? Was legally beating someone up too much to ask for? No way he’s making himself dinner, as a pay up for today’s misfortune he’s forcing his brother to order him food.
Ugh, this day couldn’t get any worse.
So called famous last words.
***
The walk back home was peaceful. One could say that it was a blessing after a day like this one but it only made Xiao let his guard down. It was a mistake.
When he walked past the front door he didn’t pay attention to the additional pairs of shoes, one of which was unfamiliar. He took of his own pair and slipped on his shark slippers. He took off to the kitchen’s direction, thinking what food should he force Zhongli into buying him, preparing his phone to call his brother-
* whack*
Xiao stood in place. Something fell off. In the kitchen. Someone was in the kitchen. Someone was there and it couldn’t be Zhongli because he was still at work.
Shit.
He quietly went a few steps back to the storage room and took a broom to work as his weapon. Just as silently, he got back on his tarck to the kitchen listening keenly for any strange sounds. He heard some panting and grunting. Oh shit they must carry something heavy to make noises like that.
Are they trying to take the fridge? Not on my fucking watch.
It will be easy to take this common thieve down when they were preoccupied with something. Besides, Xiao easly deduced they must be stupid because the most prized possession they got here are all the chinese tea sets his brother collects.
He took the fighting stance, adjusted his grip on the broom, reading himself to attack. His face hardened as he rounded the corner and-
“Zh-Zhongli, fuck-”
…
WHAT THE FUCK???
He might have let out a screech.
“WHAT THE FUCK???” he repeated, this time out loud dropping his deadly weapon.
Before him, on the fucking table laid some shirtless ginger witH HIS FUCKING BROTHER LOOMING OVER HIM, WHAT THE-
“Oh, shit.”
The ginger scrambled off the table quickly. He took his shirt that was laying on a nearby chair and put it back on in lighting speed. On the contrary of his brother who, as if nothing, was still working up the buttons of his shirt, calmly .
The two of them just stood in silence, waiting for Zhongli to finish. When he finally did, he looked at Xiao and said:
“Why aren’t you at school? Are you skipping classes again?”
Xiao couldn’t help but look at his brother in stunned silence. His brother didn’t take the hint and was about to go on a rant about how he shouldn’t disregard he studies but surprisingly his savior came in a form of a disheleved looking ginger.
“Woah, hold your horses daddy.”
Yeah, not a savior. The look of pure disgust on Xiao’s face was prominent. The only relief this day granted him was that his brother mirrored his expression.
“It was a joke!” The stranger exclaimed with a nervous laugh and a strained smile on his lips.
Xiao turned to face his brother.
“Who the fuck is this dimwit?” He ignored the ginger’s exaggerated
gasp.
“Tartaglia.”
What kind of name is that?
The question must have showed on his face because in a moment his view was full of orange hair. The guy put on a big smile and crouched to meet his eyes.
“But you can call me Childe!”
Wha? He got even more questions.
“Hey, I gotta ask. You sure you and Zhongli are related?”
“What is your problem?” he murmured under his breath. God, Xiao was so confused.
“Dunno, you are just a little small in comparison.” this ‘Childe’ said smirking.
Well, Xiao can help this man with his apparent problem of a forever stucked smile on his face.
***
“Xiao, you won’t solve every problem by fighting.”
Zhongli reprimanded him.
On a chair on the other side of the room laid Childe with a hunkered form. For his oh, so necessary comment about his height, Xiao might have rewarded him with a full mighty kick in the stomach (at least that by some reason proved his and Zhongli’s blood relation). By his books, he absolutely deserved it.
He told his brother so.
“His comment may have been… unsavoury but you could have just said so.”
Xiao looked back at the pitiful man in the corner.
“Nah.”
Zhongli sighed and went to check up on the ginger.
He still had no idea what was going on. For some people the situation was probably quite self-explanatory. But those people didn’t know his brother. And Xiao did. And he knew that Zhongli does not do dating. Someone might suggest it may, perhaps, be a hook-up? Please be real, look at that tall dorky man. He probably has no idea a thing like that exists.
He glanced back at the corner of the room. His brother was talking to this Childe dude, keeping his hand on the guy’s shoulder. The ginger dimwit was looking back at him with a mischievous smile, yet his eyes seemed to have softened a bit. When his brother’s other hand tried to pull Childe’s shirt off to check if there’s a bruise, the other quickly swatted his arm away, trying to convince the man that everything was fine (all three of them knew he wasn’t- after all, Xiao did know how to throw a punch). When they started to bicker, he looked away.
Okay, they were a little bit to comfortable with each other. Especially for his own comfort.
But Xiao stood still in his belief. His brother does not do dating.
He stole a quick glance back- his brother managed to pull the other’s shirt up to reveal a big bruise starting to form under it. His hand started to message the bruised spot, making the ginger squirm from pain and —-
Aaaand besides, even if he did do dating- his brother has taste, for Archon’s sake! You can see it in everything he does, buys, eats or wears. He treasures quality. And this man?
Nuh-uh.
So far his personality was trash, and his looks? Average at best, Xiao can assure you. There was nothing special about him and so far everything that left his mouth was total gibberish.
He heard a weird moan. His neck almost snapped with the speed his head turned to look at Zhongli, who was crouched between thE GINGER’S LEGS-
Damn, Xiao felt the beginning of a heart attack but then he saw some salve in his brother one hand, the other one coating dimwit’s stomach with it-
Actually, no, that’s disguisting.
He stood up and scooped the salve up from his brother’s hand before grabbing his collar and pulling him away from the guy. Throughout all of neither tried to stop him- one too stuned to do a thing, the other too used to it already.
Xiao turned back to Childe handing him the balm.
“You can do it yourself.”
“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?”
Archons give me patience.
He didn’t grace him with an answer.
“So, is anyone going to explain what the hell is happening?”
He did not sound desperate.
“What do you mean?” asked Zhongli.
“Well who the hell is this guy?!”
“I already introduced you?”
Sometimes his brother’s oblivious manner is adorable. Right now exceptionally irritating.
Childe surprisingly stayed silent.
He took a deep breath.
“Who is this guy to you?” he asked.
He hoped it wasn’t it. He hoped it was some tremendous misunderstanding and everything had a quick and easy explanation. Just not the one that was so glaringly obvious that Xiao has to forcefully shut his brain down to come up with the most stupid conclusions with the help of his last remaining braincells that will just feed into his delusions for a bit longer.
Just plea-
“Oh isn’t that obvious? I apologize. Well the proper way to call us will be… boyfriends? Or partners perhaps? Which one do you prefer dear?”
“Either is fine.” Childe smiled doing googly eyes at Zhongli.
The other did the same but Xiao wasn’t paying attention to them anymore. He actually lost touch with reality after the words ‘boyfriends’ left his brother’s mouth.
What the fuck.
“I really feel bad you had to find out this way Xiao” Zhongli continued turning back to his paralyzed brother.
What the fuck.
“I was supposed to tell you, yet I couldn’t find the right moment.”
What
The
Fuc-
“I presume I should introduce you two again, this time properly. Childe-” he turned to his boyfriend.
No
“meet my younger brother, Xiao. Xiao-”
NO
“this is my boyfriend-”
Did you need to repeat that?
“Childe.”
His brother smiled at the end of introductions.
He slowly turned his head in Zhongli’s fucking boyfriend’s direction.
The dimwit smirked.
“Hi Xiao, it’s an honour to finally meet you.” he gave him a two-finger salute. “I hope we will get to form a deep, moving friendship for longevity of my and Zhongli’s relationship, haha!”
Dis-gus-ting.
Xiao walked up to his brother.
“You owe me food. I want almond tofu. You know the restaurant. Don’t expect me back home after school tomorrow.”
He took his stuff and went to his room leaving his oblivious brother confused on the kitchen floor with his boyfriend .
Yeah, no day this month will be able to top this one of.
As he laid in his bed, he couldn't help but ask the Archons one more time,
What the fuck.